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whirlerz
01-23-2020, 09:14 PM
I randomly feed the one guy upstairs. He doesn't cook, (lol he once asked me if he needed to remove the cardboard from the pizza he was cooking?)
He's really nice, cute too.
I run up & put sandwiches up by his door, sometimes pasta, today a 1/2 box of cereal.

He works a lot, although he does contracts, so sometimes he may not work for a bit..

He got behind on rent & also he lends $ to the other dude>:(
When said borrower dude comes back, me & him are having a convo about this (borrowing from me, bumming rides, & the recent fight)

miss.a.p1600
01-26-2020, 08:24 AM
I think my mentality on sex with men is completely backwards

I get into surface level lustful situations then try to work that into something deeper

Rather than get into meaningful relationships where healthier sexual experiences can occur

My rational is that I won’t be sexually attracted to “good” guys because the “bad” guys tend to be better lovers. And if I’m in a relationship with a guy I’m not sexually attracted to then I’d feel trapped having to fake like I like to fuck the guy I don’t want to fuck.

Sometimes I feel like i need to reincarnate myself as a man. Just marry 1 good person then have a person on the side to satisfy my sexual needs.

Can’t a girl have it all???!!!?!?

miss.a.p1600
01-26-2020, 01:44 PM
I would do anything for some weed and some gourmet cinnamon rolls with buttercream icing and chopped pecans

AChildOfBoredom
01-26-2020, 02:07 PM
I bought a workbook for PTSD, and I can barely open it without crying. I wish I would have bought this or actually told the truth to a therapist, ten years ago. It's nearly the exact 10 year anniversary of when the trauma happened, and I'm barely starting to get my shit together.

This year will be ten for me, as well. I don’t think it can ever truly go away, you just learn to mitigate it and cope with it. My mistake was trying to play it off and insist that everything was fine, and I understand why you didn’t do these things after it happened. Which, I’m assuming it wasn’t the same thing that happened to each of us, but the semantics don’t negate the effects.

carmen_b
01-26-2020, 02:07 PM
There are men out there open to non-monogamy. It'll actually take them by surprise if you suggest it ! :)


I think my mentality on sex with men is completely backwards

I get into surface level lustful situations then try to work that into something deeper

Rather than get into meaningful relationships where healthier sexual experiences can occur

My rational is that I won’t be sexually attracted to “good” guys because the “bad” guys tend to be better lovers. And if I’m in a relationship with a guy I’m not sexually attracted to then I’d feel trapped having to fake like I like to fuck the guy I don’t want to fuck.

Sometimes I feel like i need to reincarnate myself as a man. Just marry 1 good person then have a person on the side to satisfy my sexual needs.

Can’t a girl have it all???!!!?!?

miss.a.p1600
01-26-2020, 07:25 PM
^i need to find a rich guy who will let me dominate him financially and be open to me fucking the pool guy lol

The one guy who is the top of harem list is not open to open relationships

KariSwitch
01-27-2020, 03:10 PM
I have to confess I'm so fricking scared and excited right now. I've been dating a girl since November (for those who care I only date girls...) So my GF's birthday happens to be Valentine's Day. I've already got her the necklace she's been ogling. But since it's both her B-day and V-day, I was thinking about a second gift.

Essentially, she's been staying at my place every night since December. I was thinking about giving her a key to my place in box and asking her to move in. Just don't want to move too fast though. So, I made plans with her BF to go shopping today to try to feel her out about how my GF would take it. Needless to say, her BF said I'm on the same page as her. My GF actually sent her on a spying mission about how I exactly felt about her too...

So I'm freaking out a bit, my heart and head are literally racing.

miss.a.p1600
01-27-2020, 08:01 PM
I’d give anything to get high right now and eat some gourmet melt in your mouth brownies

miss.a.p1600
01-30-2020, 06:42 AM
I want to end my celibacy

I want to secretly have sex with 10 guys and see which 2 are the better lovers

My vagina will cry if I end my celibacy with a guy who provides mediocre sex

miss.a.p1600
01-30-2020, 08:53 AM
“Siri, how do I make dating simple?”

I need to end it with this guy. Yes I like the “good morning” “be safe” “you’re beautiful” texts and short term gratification but I don’t think it will work long term.

I suck at ending things.

I feel like telling him something outrageous to run him off. Something like “I don’t have sex until marriage”

miss.a.p1600
02-01-2020, 08:39 AM
I woke up past couple days horny, pussy wet, but ain’t a dick/hand/tongue in sight (well I really could get it if I really wanted and put in some effort)

I think I’m really just a repressed heaux

I’m just too damn scary to take action on my plethora of freaky fantasies

My vagina sheds a tear .... again

whirlerz
02-03-2020, 01:19 PM
I woke up past couple days horny, pussy wet, but ain’t a dick/hand/tongue in sight (well I really could get it if I really wanted and put in some effort)

I think I’m really just a repressed heaux

I’m just too damn scary to take action on my plethora of freaky fantasies

My vagina sheds a tear .... again

I can relate..

My cute neighbor just got off work, I left him some food as usual..
But, really I'd like to go up there & _____________!

carmen_b
02-03-2020, 04:09 PM
^ " Thee way into a mans heart and onto his face " is through his stomach. "

That's my variation of that haha.

I'd say you are golden here. You've been feeding him and you know there is attraction since you guys were supposed to meet already for a drink ? :)
Can't wait for the updates !

seashell
02-04-2020, 03:37 AM
This year will be ten for me, as well. I don’t think it can ever truly go away, you just learn to mitigate it and cope with it. My mistake was trying to play it off and insist that everything was fine, and I understand why you didn’t do these things after it happened. Which, I’m assuming it wasn’t the same thing that happened to each of us, but the semantics don’t negate the effects.

Yeah, I played it off, as well. I didn't do a very good job of it, though, and the people closest to me knew that I was a trainwreck. I do hope that you're in a good place of mitigating and coping. On the one hand, I do appreciate that having some form of mental illness really helps you to understand more of human nature and be empathic with others.

Ifyouseekamy
02-04-2020, 09:05 PM
Talking about the fear of being seen in my personal development group. Ive learned to not say anything because no one wants to hear about my struggles from working in the adult entertainment industry. I’m like, “ yeah it’s a rational fear of being outed or gossiped about.” Of course I have a fear of letting vanilla people get to know me because they’ve all been assholes! I’ve lost job opportunities, been stalked, and just general shitty behavior. Of course I keep people at arms length! It’s been a struggle with my personal training hustle cause I have so much anxiety about being outed. I’m just going non-resistant and gonna keep hustling. I know most of it’s in my head, but unfortunately it’s always a risk I slip up or someone recognizes me from the club. Can’t let that stop me. Face the fear and do what scares me. I’ll deal with it when it happens. I can’t let fear control me. I was like this is a rational fear! It’s not an irrational, limiting belief. Unfortunately, they don’t want to hear about it. So I’m posting here. If I focus on the fear it will manifest. I have to choose love over fear.

Update: the group leader hasn’t apologized, but has been encouraging me to be more open. I think she knows she was judgmental. Which is nice, but Im not talking about my passion for sex worker rights and reform anymore.

JGB2009
02-07-2020, 09:31 PM
I wouldn't know what to do with myself to actually be loved. Love, yea what is that!

miss.a.p1600
02-07-2020, 09:46 PM
Now I get it.

Why people ghost.

I thought I could ghost/fizzle out this guy who likes me

But he keeps texting, asking me to meet, sending me his schedule, etc And when I ignore him thinking he’ll get frustrated and move on he texts “are you okay” like I’m dead or something

He seems like a nice dude - minus the clinging and “I can’t read women” behavior

This will be my first time being honest. And I have to do it this time. I thought I was sparing his feelings but I’m probably hurting his feelings the more I let this drag on.

Last time it tried to be honest and the guy ignored my call so I just felt like people can’t handle truth.

carmen_b
02-07-2020, 10:44 PM
Aw !
Honestly is the best really ( as long as it doesn't pose any kind of safety risk ).
You don't even have to call. If it's only been a couple dates a text is ok.

miss.a.p1600
02-08-2020, 07:44 AM
^sadly we haven’t even been on any dates

After he suggested $2 Mexican specials and said he wanted to take me to movies in this lower class urban area because “it’s quiet” (aka because it’s the cheapest theater in town) and then sent me a yelp link of his condo (aka apartments) and just the thirst of it all - I just couldn’t bring myself to go anywhere with him.

Classic case of a mf talking too much then talk themselves right out of pussy

Plus

Need a dude who gots some disposable income and can take me where I want without much thought to the price and I am dead set on only dating men with homes

But yeah you’re right. I like how you communicate well with dudes (good or bad you just tell them) I really need to get better at that.

carmen_b
02-08-2020, 09:04 AM
^ Sounds like it's ok to ignore this one. You obviously screened him for cheapness and he failed.
At least he offered at outing even if it wasn't ideal or the best area. I would probably pass too.

WendiStarr
02-08-2020, 11:54 AM
I am hating men even more than I did before, particularly the ones in my life. My biological dad that I don't have a relationship with at all seeing as how he abandoned me years ago said he was going to visit the baby and I. I sat there all day, waiting and looking out the window whenever I saw a car driving down the road, like a dumbass. It's not like I have the energy to go out anywhere anyways right now so I have all the time in the world right now to sit here. I felt like a disappointed little girl, all over again, waiting for a dad that never showed up. I remember when I was a kid, when his "I'm going out to the bar" ended up being,"I'm disappearing for x years". I realize that all these years I have been attracting men who are just like him, men who just up and leave me when I need them the most. I wish I could attract a mature, decent, caring, loving, non-alcohol drinking man, instead of selfish narcissist guys who would rather drink and party their lives away and run away at the slightest hint of required responsibility.

whirlerz
02-08-2020, 12:11 PM
Aw. I am so sorry, Wendi, thar sucks.

I hope you can find a good man, I know you can!
Hugs to you.

Love, w.

carmen_b
02-08-2020, 04:14 PM
+ 1 .

^ You seems like a great mom so I could see you pairing brady bunch style with someone who had a munchkin or two easily !

miss.a.p1600
02-08-2020, 05:58 PM
I feel ya Wendi

When they’re not offering dick they are being dicks.

I noticed I’ve done similar. Dad wasn’t involved because he was salty about my mother leaving him (plus my mom is crazy af sometimes). Saw my mom choose a horrible partner (a narcissist who strings her along, plays mind games, never married her, and wasted decades of her prime youth) so I found myself attracted to bad boys who were always unavailable.

It took me a looooong time to realize it’s possible to have that desired relationship but partner selection is crucial. I foolishly passed up on my billards guy who hinted at marriage a decade ago because I was stuck on some no good narcissist who didn’t deserve one iota of my energy.

Well a small minority of men are good ones. And of the males on this forum, like 3 or 4 of them seem like decent men

xStacey
02-08-2020, 07:18 PM
I have a huge crush on my mentor I've been working for the last two years. I am leaving the firm for another one and told him by email, we're gonna get coffee next week and staying in touch despite not working at the same place anymore. However, he's the age of my father (had he still been alive) lol, he's 56 and I am 26. I find him incredibly hot for his age, he's a genius, a true gentleman, very successful and rich. He's always impeccably dressed and even men comment on his looks lol. I would totally sleep with him, he has a lot of sex appeal and I have never ever been attracted a man this old. He would be the perfect sugar daddy if we were not in the same field and if we did not have such a great professional relationship. I have to admit I fantasized about him quite many times. I am sure people think we're in a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship whenever I got lunch, coffee or supper with him last year when it was really a platonic professional relationship LOL.

miss.a.p1600
02-10-2020, 12:37 PM
This gay dude be telling the most exciting stories about his dating life *including sex details*

Surprisingly i get excited (in my mind I think damn! I need some experiences like this!) and so I thought I’d share


https://youtu.be/uYl6Pl08kn0

miss.a.p1600
02-10-2020, 01:04 PM
A part of me is thinking about getting head from the clingy dude

Buuuuuut that might not be a good idea considering I don’t think he deserves to see me naked (I wish I could just cut a hole in my pants lol! so the only thing he could see is the clit) because .......he’s clingy

Clara_M
02-10-2020, 02:06 PM
^i need to find a rich guy who will let me dominate him financially and be open to me fucking the pool guy lol

The one guy who is the top of harem list is not open to open relationships

Maybe, maybe not. There might be one out there who is okay with it because he wants the same and doesn't want to have to hide it.

There may be drawbacks, however. For example, he might want/need you to be available for "trophy wife" duties, such as attending functions, etc.

It's a lifestyle and a business arrangement. The question is of whether you can fit within it.

lynn2009
02-10-2020, 10:10 PM
I feel like my boss and my relationship at work is kind of like how things went with my parents. My siblings are all such giant fuck ups, my parents gave them tons of financial support while I lived in squalor and had to get naked in public in my free time. Even when I wasn't stripping I did anything to earn or save money, rent with a creep, walk late at night, work at a pizza parlor. Because I was broke as shit and it never occurred to me that someone else would or should solve my problems. And in the end I was just this self-sufficient forgotten child. Now at work this one project is blowing up because of this task for a project that no one wants to do, that I have done OVER FIVE TIMES for other projects already. And my boss doesn't know or care that I have done this before, because FFS if something needs to get done, I just do it!!! Why is that such a difficult concept for people?? This is so fucking annoying, and I never get any credit for anything.

Aurora_Sunset
02-11-2020, 12:21 PM
I’m on floor duty but I just want to go home. I’m not feeling productive work-wise this week.

lynn2009
02-13-2020, 09:16 AM
I think I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while stretching while seated...

carmen_b
02-13-2020, 04:10 PM
I guess it's " Galentines " today. I would like to invite some girls to drinks but I am having severe anxiety about being away from my dog for 9 days. My parents ( his babysitters ) travel tomorrow and he is off with them 2 days before my trip starts ! ;/

Maybe I can split the evening between a brew out and cuddling him until he is dying to get away from me.

WendiStarr
02-14-2020, 03:06 PM
I've eaten so much Middle Eastern food(chicken shawarma sandwiches) this week. It has been my food of choice when people ask me what to bring with them when they visit.

miss.a.p1600
02-15-2020, 07:12 AM
I had an orgasm in my sleep last night

carmen_b
02-15-2020, 10:17 AM
I fell off the wagon in working out and eating right ( we are talking like 6 weeks ). I think that whole stress ball with M got me started on the skipping work outs and just disrupting my routine. I feel like my mid section is growing and I'm embarrassed . So I have action plans in place ( pre-scheduling work outs and not bending ) .
I will probably buy some sort of corset contraption if I go back to the club . I really can not be on stage like this haha.

Zofia
02-15-2020, 11:31 AM
I had an orgasm in my sleep last night

Not in my sleep, but BF and I masturbated together in bed. WOW, that was fun. :-)

miss.a.p1600
02-15-2020, 11:32 AM
^nice!!!

lurkingtitties
02-15-2020, 12:19 PM
I had an orgasm in my sleep last night

That happens to me often!

Ifyouseekamy
02-15-2020, 04:13 PM
I accidentally opened my neighbors mail and found out he worked for a local church. I’m so glad I didn’t seduce him. Well it was more I knew I’d have to disclose my work. I’m glad I didn’t put myself out there when we aren’t compatible to begin with.

miss.a.p1600
02-16-2020, 07:15 AM
That happens to me often!

Wow. I’ve only had this happen once before. So twice in my life.

Kinda pisses me off cause I’ll have sex dreams then my body wakes me up before the sex goes down.

This time I wasn’t even dreaming about sex (I don’t think). I just remember feeling like I was “going over the edge” (best way I can describe it) then what woke me up was my vagina muscles contracting.

Then I’m like wtf?!?

AChildOfBoredom
02-16-2020, 02:38 PM
I should probably never drink again. I don’t handle alcohol well, and this came to light on Friday. With the three of us - the Irish woman, the dancer I carpool with, and I - being single, we all decided to just spend the evening having a night out and being in the company of people we enjoy being in the company of. At least we have each other, you know?

So we traveled via rideshare because they weren’t letting me use the excuse of being designated driver to not have a drink with them, and we capped the evening by going to a wine bar. And, lo and behold, I found one I actually liked. Really surprised me, because I typically don’t like any form of alcoholic beverages (wine included), so I ordered another glass. And a couple more after that. It didn’t take much for me to get sloshed, and of course I just had to make things awkward. We were talking about things we used to do, and I slipped and open a sentence with, “Back when I was still alive, I used to…”, so the other dancer asked what I meant by that. And I did probably the worst thing I could’ve done in that instance - I answered truthfully. I don’t remember everything I said, but I remember pointing the scar on my neck and telling her, “This killed me. But they won’t let me leave, and I don’t understand why”. The Irish woman told me later that some of the couples overheard me and were a bit put off by it. And I figured I made an error in judgment by telling the other dancer about it, but I was surprised… she saw me revealing that to her as something that brought us closer rather than something that alienated her.

And yet, that wasn’t the most awkward part of the night, and the other thing isn’t on me. Still a fun night, all in all. But I should probably stay away from the sauce.

indiegirl
02-17-2020, 04:47 PM
I'm at the point where if a customer texts me during the daytime I think "Are you okay? What is the emergency?" I prefer working at night. I'm such a night owl. }:D

Aurora_Sunset
02-18-2020, 02:19 PM
Can't motivate myself to do much beyond the "have-tos" this week. I've skipped going to the office or doing any meaningful work in favor of sleeping in for 2 days now. I've been fighting being sick again, but I don't know if that's what's doing it. I seem to have fallen back into a hopeless depression.

One good thing about my part-time job is that I typically have about 3 hours at the end of the night where I can just put in my headphones and do mindless labor while I think. This is great if I'm in a good place and want to listen to upbeat music or motivational podcasts. It's not so great when I'm depressed and just spend the whole time with nothing to do but think depressive thoughts, such as: I have no passion; I don't want to do any sort of meaningful work; even the meaningful work I've done in the past was probably just for selfish gains underneath it all; I'm just a lazy, selfish piece of shit; I'll never be happy; does it really get better? Isn't that a saying for angst-y teens, not women in their 30s?; if it's not "better" by now, it probably won't ever be; maybe the smart thing to do is to end it all if I know I'm a piece of shit instead of continuing to inflict my POS-ness on the world; what's the point if I'm never gonna amount to anything and probably die painfully and slowly in a shitty nursing home in a few decades anyway?

Side-note: I'm not actually actively suicidal or in a place to worry about me in that way. I just feel really disconnected from any meaning to my days/life right now.

seashell
02-19-2020, 05:09 AM
I should probably never drink again. I don’t handle alcohol well, and this came to light on Friday. With the three of us - the Irish woman, the dancer I carpool with, and I - being single, we all decided to just spend the evening having a night out and being in the company of people we enjoy being in the company of. At least we have each other, you know?

So we traveled via rideshare because they weren’t letting me use the excuse of being designated driver to not have a drink with them, and we capped the evening by going to a wine bar. And, lo and behold, I found one I actually liked. Really surprised me, because I typically don’t like any form of alcoholic beverages (wine included), so I ordered another glass. And a couple more after that. It didn’t take much for me to get sloshed, and of course I just had to make things awkward. We were talking about things we used to do, and I slipped and open a sentence with, “Back when I was still alive, I used to…”, so the other dancer asked what I meant by that. And I did probably the worst thing I could’ve done in that instance - I answered truthfully. I don’t remember everything I said, but I remember pointing the scar on my neck and telling her, “This killed me. But they won’t let me leave, and I don’t understand why”. The Irish woman told me later that some of the couples overheard me and were a bit put off by it. And I figured I made an error in judgment by telling the other dancer about it, but I was surprised… she saw me revealing that to her as something that brought us closer rather than something that alienated her.

And yet, that wasn’t the most awkward part of the night, and the other thing isn’t on me. Still a fun night, all in all. But I should probably stay away from the sauce.

My biggest fear is letting my guard down with people, and letting them see how damaged I really am, and what I really think about. Which is all PTSD related mental health stuff. Sorry about what happened, but I'm glad that your friend was supportive and felt closer to you!

seashell
02-19-2020, 05:26 AM
My confession is that I really relate to the song, Dance Monkey, by Tones and I. All my work is based on performing, and sometimes I just don't want to be a show pony. Sex work, Tarot reading, art, creative writing, social media. On great days, it's thrilling, but on bad days, it can feel so fake and forced.

No one wants to be a literal starving artist.

Ifyouseekamy
02-19-2020, 05:47 AM
^^^ I love dance monkey. So relate to it!

My chiropractor is a handsome middle age , wealthy, and single dad (grown children). I think he’s progressive too. How do I get him to ask me out?

We started talking about different tissue types in the body LOL. I think he was low key trying to find out if I have a boyfriend cause he asked me if I had a date over Valentine’s Day. I’ve alluded to the fact I don’t have a boyfriend. I literally laugh when people ask me because the thought of me having a boyfriend is ridiculous. I hear good ones take out the trash and fix things-that would be cool.

miss.a.p1600
02-19-2020, 07:50 AM
Why tf that guy I met few weeks ago (we haven’t been on a date yet) gone say

“If you need some head I got you. I’ve been told im really good at giving head”

If this mf was as good at getting money as he is at allegedly giving head i would consider the offer

indiegirl
02-19-2020, 05:47 PM
I'm truly convinced I have the neediest dog in the world. He would lay across my laptop if he could to get my attention if he could fit. LOL

JGB2009
02-19-2020, 09:51 PM
I confess that I just blocked someone on skype because he claimed he didn't know who I was. Since he was on NF I went ahead and blocked him on there too. I felt like it was possible that he already remembered who I was and was just wanting attention by having me send him my link etc. I know it is possible that I could have gotten a show from him but tonight I have no patience for anyone. I'm just not in the mood to be jerked around!!!!

AChildOfBoredom
02-20-2020, 05:07 AM
My biggest fear is letting my guard down with people, and letting them see how damaged I really am, and what I really think about. Which is all PTSD related mental health stuff. Sorry about what happened, but I'm glad that your friend was supportive and felt closer to you!

Things like that make me a little less fearful of it, though that was more a matter of my guard dropping on account of inebriation. It’s reassuring, though. Here, it’s not such a big deal. People I see and deal with every day, that becomes a different matter.