View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
indiegirl
11-10-2020, 09:11 PM
I feel like a massive bitch. I felt uncomfortable doing a long check in at the hotel and some man kept complimenting me and entered the elevator...then a group of ladies came in and asked me my name and I said “why?” I looked like a huge bitch. I just get silent as they reacted. I am working and get cautious. That was the weirdest check in I’ve ever had.
carmen_b
11-10-2020, 10:12 PM
^ lol
The ladies. Prob just drunk or friendly but yeah when working that discretion vibe is always ON.
miss.a.p1600
11-11-2020, 06:11 AM
That time I dared pay for a guy.
I took him to get dinner on Veterans Day. It was half off since he was a veteran. So it was basically like paying for myself with him tagging along
He had no clue and was like “you paid? THANKS!”
Lololol!!!!!
miss.a.p1600
11-11-2020, 06:16 AM
^ got him at his own game and ended it with him shortly after because he started to complain about ‘being used for free meals” by women - like boy bye!
And we’re not talking five star gourmet places. We’re taking chili’s and Applebee’s
if paying $ for dates makes a guy feel “used”
RUN!!!
carmen_b
11-11-2020, 10:14 AM
^ yeah , hahaha. Most of us are like 110-150 pounds max hahahah . If occasionally feeding your lady impacts your finances in a way the is stressful ..... you've got some bigger problems to look at and address. As much as I've bitched on here about J he is so good with that stuff and always a gentleman. Letting a woman pay for her own meal is just ..... well ..... a waving red flag.
The ways that I sometimes contribute ( just in my own case ) is picking up a meal as a surprise or cooking something and buying those ingredients.
miss.a.p1600
11-11-2020, 10:29 AM
True
I used to pay every 4th meal out. This was back when I messed with young dudes though.
But nowadays when it comes to paying for dates.....I do like Lisa Vanderpump be doing Ken when it comes to sex......only on birthdays n holidays.
whirlerz
11-12-2020, 02:22 PM
Soo, started a new job, (part time). Another (small) call center, we'll see.
Its anwering calls, sounds ez, but, there's all different types of calls, & rules/procedures on how they're
handled.
The owner's hot🔥
Aurora_Sunset
11-12-2020, 03:14 PM
I left work early again today. I did last week too. It's all unpaid time off, and it's mine to use as I please, but I still shouldn't waste it.
Probably wishful thinking to think that maybe they'll realize that I always do this when they send me to work a job I don't like instead of leaving me alone to do the job I was hired to do.
indiegirl
11-13-2020, 12:12 AM
Oh man, I felt so sick to my stomach the whole drive to go work. Have a customer waiting and messaged him twice about changing the time due to my stomach. I bet he will arrive and check his messages then ughh. Was holding in vomiting because of a crappy salad with sriracha sauce for 35 minutes. Such a painfully long drive.
indiegirl
11-13-2020, 12:21 AM
Oh man, I felt so sick to my stomach the whole drive to go work. Have a customer waiting and messaged him twice about changing the time due to my stomach. I bet he will arrive and check his messages then ughh. Was holding in vomiting because of a crappy salad with sriracha sauce for 35 minutes. Such a painfully long drive.
yep he just checked his messages upon arrival. I’m not fully composed now. Wasn’t expecting to get nauseous over that stupid salad. Immediately puked on arrival to the room. Trying to clean up now. Feel like a fool having so much sriracha sauce in a salad lol.
indiegirl
11-13-2020, 01:51 AM
Good night after I composed myself. Ugh I hate bad situations with returning customers. Yay to the outcome.
miss.a.p1600
11-13-2020, 02:27 PM
What if I’m asexual?!?
whirlerz
11-13-2020, 03:56 PM
Oh man, I felt so sick to my stomach the whole drive to go work. Have a customer waiting and messaged him twice about changing the time due to my stomach. I bet he will arrive and check his messages then ughh. Was holding in vomiting because of a crappy salad with sriracha sauce for 35 minutes. Such a painfully long drive.
Hope you feel better!
I sickened myself w/old (past due date) spaghetti sauce..was lucky, had some tum pain & going to bathroom a lot but nothing else.
I never heard of that sauce before.
Anyway, take care.
whirlerz
11-13-2020, 05:35 PM
What if I’m asexual?!?
An orientation that involves a lack of sexual attraction
That doesn't mean they can't experience other forms of attraction tho.
indiegirl
11-13-2020, 07:11 PM
One of my regulars wanted a shorter time (30 minutes) in his email this morning and I stopped responding. Give a man an inch and he will take a mile. I decided to head home. After all the BS behavior I put up with from him, that won't be happening with him. Had another regular in New York who tried to screw me over with time/money and changing his payment. I don't have time be treated like that and he disappeared.
queenelayliah
11-13-2020, 07:21 PM
I have been suppppperrr horny since Sunday night. Im sad and very embarrassed to say, I have been binging watching porn and downloading it to my cell since Monday night. I lost sleep because of this AND ironically I got to much sleep lol. Yesterday, I oversleep my docs appointment because I was up the night before watching porn until 8am. And then today I been up since the morning hours looking at porn and I didn’t turn on my phone lines all day today.
Well there goes to sticking to my pso schedule like a religion for the next 90 days to build up my client base. Sigh.
P.s.
And you know what super sucks I didn’t cum. Bad news is My hitachi vibrator broke before this horny spell hit, so I couldn’t cum at all for the last week. Good news is they sent me a new one for FREE and it came in the mail yesterday.
Now that I erased all the porn I downloaded from my devices, let me get to trying to make some money, Lord knows I can’t be taking off days. My bank account is dry.
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 01:01 AM
Really didn't pay as much attention to my training this week (2 days so far) as I should have.. nervous about next week.
Might stop by & get my notes, not that they're very coherent
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 11:35 AM
Well.
Just now baked a pizza, & cut a generous slice for my upstairs roomie crush, placing it by his door.
Was about to text him, 'pizza alert', when he texted me, 'yum':faint::lovestruc
Id been reading our previous texts, (nothing but average, mundane stuff)yet..soo turned on:-[:heartbeat
charlie61
11-14-2020, 11:36 AM
What if I’m asexual?!?
It's possible. There's a whole spectrum of asexuality. I guess i haven't gotten the sense from your posts that you're asexual, but it's possible. Note that it's possible to be asexual but still have an orgasm during sex (when this happens to me, it's kind of just interesting or odd for me mentally, i don't desire orgasms with partners or seek them out), and it's possible to desire sex for psychological reasons, and to desire relationships, and to desire human contact.
Asexuality is not about having a low sex drive, about being celibate, about being sexually damaged (I've never been abused), or about not being able to come during sex. It's an orientation. You can desire men romantically, but not desire them sexually, for example (heteroromantic asexual). I'm a biromantic asexual, personally. I love getting myself off alone (love my hitachi - i have insane multiple orgasms with that thing... and even without the hitachi, it's easy for me to get myself off). I find people very attractive, love looking at people, desire romantic relationships/partnerships with them, but I've personally never desired sexual touch, or to touch others sexually (i only want to do it for psychological reasons, like to make my partner feel good, or, back when i was dating, for many other reasons, like to feel in control / dominant or to get people to desire me).
It can be tough being asexual in a relationship with sexual people, but over time, I've hacked it, and i can now keep myself mentally healthy and very happy while being with even a hypersexual partner (I've been very into giving oral for a while!). I really don't enjoy sex acts where I'm the focus, like receiving oral. At best, it feels like a massage (but I'd prefer an actual massage, lol), and at worst, it's mildly irritating and psychologically uncomfortable. Sex itself is often somewhat annoying to me, especially when it happens more frequently, because it just isn't doing anything for me most of the time - i enjoy sex more when the other person is just doing what they want to do. It's usually tough for people to be with me when they care about me because i attract selfless sexual partners, but i have to teach them to be comfortable with focusing mostly on their desires. Sometimes, I'll feel horny and will mentally channel that energy into initiating partnered sex (like around ovulation), but i always find that, even then, sex does not "scratch the itch" for me, as i imagine sexual intimacy *does* fulfill people physically who aren't asexual, with or without an orgasm.
...But every ace is very different. :)
indiegirl
11-14-2020, 02:09 PM
I am frustrated with having C sized boobs when buying dresses online lol. The dress looks cute on the model. However, I legit had myself exposed in public twice this year. Totally flashed someone sitting down with my boob out accidentally and had to wear a sweater for the other dress :(. I've been wanting this dress for so long but I'm worried of a tit mishap situation or looking too escort-y at a hotel. Sometimes I regret buying boobs.
https://www.lulus.com/products/ailey-gold-and-teal-blue-skater-dress/556402.html
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 02:33 PM
I am frustrated with having C sized boobs when buying dresses online lol. The dress looks cute on the model. However, I legit had myself exposed in public twice this year. Totally flashed someone sitting down with my boob out accidentally and had to wear a sweater for the other dress :(. I've been wanting this dress for so long but I'm worried of a tit mishap situation or looking too escort-y at a hotel. Sometimes I regret buying boobs.
https://www.lulus.com/products/ailey-gold-and-teal-blue-skater-dress/556402.html
Would tape (,that special tape they have) help?
Or boob glue .
Idk, Im the opposite, small
They have these lower cut bras now, look on nordstrom.com
As far as hotels, every lone woman's an escort to them
indiegirl
11-14-2020, 02:35 PM
Would tape (,that special tape they have) help?
Or boob glue .
Idk, Im the opposite, small
They have these lower cut bras now, look on nordstrom.com
I'll check out nordstrom! So bummed over that dress. Wish I could take the boob implants out just for this dress for a night LOL.
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 02:40 PM
I'll check out nordstrom! So bummed over that dress. Wish I could take the boob implants out just for this dress for a night LOL.
take an old bra, cut it up, sew the cups in it?
Genoveve
11-14-2020, 04:11 PM
Or use tape. They make tape specifically for boobs now too.
indiegirl
11-14-2020, 04:38 PM
Or use tape. They make tape specifically for boobs now too.
I've decided I'm going to buy that dress and tape my boobs :). I've wanted it for too long!
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 05:29 PM
I've decided I'm going to buy that dress and tape my boobs :). I've wanted it for too long!
Great! Id consider either: one of those stick on bras, or sew the cups in.. tape won't give you the support, plus what if it gives out. Just an idea
charlie61
11-14-2020, 05:49 PM
I've decided I'm going to buy that dress and tape my boobs :). I've wanted it for too long!
Show us the dress??
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 05:59 PM
I am frustrated with having C sized boobs when buying dresses online lol. The dress looks cute on the model. However, I legit had myself exposed in public twice this year. Totally flashed someone sitting down with my boob out accidentally and had to wear a sweater for the other dress :(. I've been wanting this dress for so long but I'm worried of a tit mishap situation or looking too escort-y at a hotel. Sometimes I regret buying boobs.
https://www.lulus.com/products/ailey-gold-and-teal-blue-skater-dress/556402.html
Show us the dress??
see above link, 1st quote :)
charlie61
11-14-2020, 06:04 PM
see above link, 1st quote :)
Thank you! Beautiful dress!
Once the world is back to normal, I'm going to step up my dress game. Shera7 was talking about the power of dresses and heels, and i totally agree that there is something to that.
carmen_b
11-14-2020, 06:06 PM
^ Yes to both the blue dress and the general concept of dresses and heels !
whirlerz
11-14-2020, 06:10 PM
I, personally, love dresses, & heels.
I got a few.
I want some vintage ones too
miss.a.p1600
11-14-2020, 07:56 PM
I wonder do asexuals masturbate
My thing is I don’t orgasm with partners just by myself although I have had a few stone cold bonafide freaks that got me close.
I used to be celibate because I got tired to dealing with men n mediocre sex and I was much happier single for a while. Now that I’m in a relationship I find myself simply viewing sex as for procreation only, men’s pleasure, and not anything I actively seek out (except maybe when I’m ovulating or PMS relief and that’s purely biological)
Which has me thinking either I am psychologically blocked/repressed sexually, my hormones are out of wack, or I’m asexual. I’m trying to figure it out
Thanks for sharing your perspective
It's possible. There's a whole spectrum of asexuality. I guess i haven't gotten the sense from your posts that you're asexual, but it's possible. Note that it's possible to be asexual but still have an orgasm during sex (when this happens to me, it's kind of just interesting or odd for me mentally, i don't desire orgasms with partners or seek them out), and it's possible to desire sex for psychological reasons, and to desire relationships, and to desire human contact.
Asexuality is not about having a low sex drive, about being celibate, about being sexually damaged (I've never been abused), or about not being able to come during sex. It's an orientation. You can desire men romantically, but not desire them sexually, for example (heteroromantic asexual). I'm a biromantic asexual, personally. I love getting myself off alone (love my hitachi - i have insane multiple orgasms with that thing... and even without the hitachi, it's easy for me to get myself off). I find people very attractive, love looking at people, desire romantic relationships/partnerships with them, but I've personally never desired sexual touch, or to touch others sexually (i only want to do it for psychological reasons, like to make my partner feel good, or, back when i was dating, for many other reasons, like to feel in control / dominant or to get people to desire me).
It can be tough being asexual in a relationship with sexual people, but over time, I've hacked it, and i can now keep myself mentally healthy and very happy while being with even a hypersexual partner (I've been very into giving oral for a while!). I really don't enjoy sex acts where I'm the focus, like receiving oral. At best, it feels like a massage (but I'd prefer an actual massage, lol), and at worst, it's mildly irritating and psychologically uncomfortable. Sex itself is often somewhat annoying to me, especially when it happens more frequently, because it just isn't doing anything for me most of the time - i enjoy sex more when the other person is just doing what they want to do. It's usually tough for people to be with me when they care about me because i attract selfless sexual partners, but i have to teach them to be comfortable with focusing mostly on their desires. Sometimes, I'll feel horny and will mentally channel that energy into initiating partnered sex (like around ovulation), but i always find that, even then, sex does not "scratch the itch" for me, as i imagine sexual intimacy *does* fulfill people physically who aren't asexual, with or without an orgasm.
...But every ace is very different. :)
charlie61
11-14-2020, 08:07 PM
I wonder do asexuals masturbate
My thing is I don’t orgasm with partners just by myself although I have had a few stone cold bonafide freaks that got me close.
I used to be celibate because I got tired to dealing with men n mediocre sex and I was much happier single for a while. Now that I’m in a relationship I find myself simply viewing sex as for procreation only, men’s pleasure, and not anything I actively seek out (except maybe when I’m ovulating or PMS relief and that’s purely biological)
Which has me thinking either I am psychologically blocked/repressed sexually, my hormones are out of wack, or I’m asexual. I’m trying to figure it out
Thanks for sharing your perspective
You're welcome! I know i typed a lot there - didn't expect anyone else to read it, but thought it might be useful to you. The nice thing is that, at the end of the day, labels don't really matter. You're just YOU. If you're unhappy with something in your life, then sure, approach that from a place of curiosity, investigate, play with change. And labels can be a helpful starting place in that process. But if you're happy with who you are, then I'd say just embrace your quirky preferences and don't think about labels too much. I get really unhappy when i think about my orientation, because it honestly feels like a disability (it's sort of like not being able to hear music - you miss out on a fundamental human experience). There are lots of asexuals out there who are very happy with their orientation, but I'm not one of them (yet). So i try to instead stay focused on what i DO enjoy and what i CAN experience.
charlie61
11-14-2020, 08:15 PM
I confess that i re-watch Teen Wolf on my computer most nights lately. I know, you guys. Embarrassing. I'm a hopeless re-watcher (whenever i have Netflix, i always go back to The Office). But this is definitely the guiltiest of my current guilty pleasures, lol.
indiegirl
11-14-2020, 08:45 PM
I confess that i re-watch Teen Wolf on my computer most nights lately. I know, you guys. Embarrassing. I'm a hopeless re-watcher (whenever i have Netflix, i always go back to The Office). But this is definitely the guiltiest of my current guilty pleasures, lol.
Man I'm so the same way! LOL. I watched Harry Potter movies over and over for years and now I'm on a rewatch binge of Chilling adventures of Sabrina on Netflix. I do the same thing with songs LOL.
charlie61
11-14-2020, 08:51 PM
Man I'm so the same way! LOL. I watched Harry Potter movies over and over for years and now I'm on a rewatch binge of Chilling adventures of Sabrina on Netflix. I do the same thing with songs LOL.
Same, it's so bad. It's a little stressful for me to watch and listen to new stuff, to try to expand my horizons (like, it's healthy for me to do that, and i often find new things that i like, but it isn't the most relaxing thing). So most of the time, i obsessively re-watch / re-listen. I like knowing how things will progress and end. That's most relaxing to me. And then i can just play it in the background without being too invested. It's funny you mentioned Harry Potter- i obsessively listened to the audiobooks when i was younger!
yaya_cash
11-15-2020, 10:36 AM
I'm scared of ending up alone, unmarried and with a lower paying job. So scared.
Aurora_Sunset
11-15-2020, 02:15 PM
I’ve heavily thought/internally labeled myself as asexual for awhile now (thanks in large part to your descriptions and posts, charlie, so thank you!), and resonate 100% with what you posted and a lot of posts that I find on ace websites and facebook pages I now follow.
I used to think I was bisexual, because I enjoy the aesthetic of looking at both men and women who are attractive. I “fantasize” about sex with both, though have no actual desire to participate in the scenarios I fantasize about. When I do engage in sex, it’s for reasons other than my personal sex drive – to make my partner happy, for example. In my 20s, I used sex as a card to feel desired by people, or because I learned that it was an easy way to obtain companionship if I offered it at the end of the evening. I always enjoyed everything about those evenings of connection except the actual sex – I would often have a sinking feeling when it came, like “oh, fuck, yeah, I guess it’s time to get this out of the way.”
Any “pleasure” I derive from sex is mostly psychological, like making my partner happy. Or the sensual pleasure of enjoying the aesthetic or mentally feeling as though I’m taking part in a steamy movie or book scene. It takes a lot of outside fantasizing for me to orgasm with a partner – not because they’re “unattractive,” but I simply don’t get much out of being touched by others.
I do get horny, but all I want to do is masturbate and get it out of my system – like a sneeze, or taking a shower when you feel grimy. I once read someone describe their sex drive as being like an itch – you sometimes get an itch, and sometimes you will scratch it, sometimes you won’t, but you wouldn’t even consider asking someone else to scratch it for you. I only participate in partnered sex because I know it’s important to my husband. It’s so weird to me when he gets insecure about worrying that I will “find someone else to meet my sexual needs” when we’ve been too busy to spend time together, because I could literally go the rest of my life without having intercourse with another person and be completely fine with it. I like romantic companionship and miss him as a person when he’s away, but the lack of sex never even crosses my mind. I’ve truly never experienced the concept of “missing” sex or “needing” sex.
I also think this is why I was able to be a great sex worker. My ex never understood how I could have sex with strange men and not “feel” anything, but I have always likened it to washing the dishes. I don’t “like” it, but I don’t hate or feel any particular way about it. It’s just a chore I have to do to get a desired outcome (clean dishes/income), and then I go about my day.
But, like you said, all asexuals are different, and there are certainly descriptions out there that I don't match up with. But it's a much wider "umbrella" term than most people think, so it's been worth the research into others and myself.
Aurora_Sunset
11-15-2020, 02:21 PM
The drama continues - bio-mom's second husband is "back." We have no idea how or why or what happened. He was just there today when my husband dropped off the kids. My hypothesis is that she guilt-tripped him into coming back while promising to "change." I think they will go to marriage counseling where she will tout her sob story about all the "trauma" she experienced in her first marriage and from her string of miscarriages in the past year and a half and blame all her psycho behavior on those things. Meanwhile, she'll double down on desperately trying for another baby and/or them buying a house together down by his family. And then she'll never actually "change," and he will 1) realize it by the time the holidays are over and leave again, 2) not realize it until he's house/baby-trapped, and the divorce will be even messier, or 3) not realize it until he's trapped, feel like he can't leave, and they'll have a miserable marriage until the kids are grown.
But I don't, for a second, believe that she will actually use this an opportunity to work on herself and change the way she treats people and approaches adult relationships, nor that it will heal into a functional marriage.
Oh well, I just get to watch and pity her. I wish I could take bets. It's like my own personal soap opera. And I don't care if that makes me sound horrible - she's a wicked witch.
charlie61
11-15-2020, 03:00 PM
I’ve heavily thought/internally labeled myself as asexual for awhile now (thanks in large part to your descriptions and posts, charlie, so thank you!), and resonate 100% with what you posted and a lot of posts that I find on ace websites and facebook pages I now follow.
I used to think I was bisexual, because I enjoy the aesthetic of looking at both men and women who are attractive. I “fantasize” about sex with both, though have no actual desire to participate in the scenarios I fantasize about. When I do engage in sex, it’s for reasons other than my personal sex drive – to make my partner happy, for example. In my 20s, I used sex as a card to feel desired by people, or because I learned that it was an easy way to obtain companionship if I offered it at the end of the evening. I always enjoyed everything about those evenings of connection except the actual sex – I would often have a sinking feeling when it came, like “oh, fuck, yeah, I guess it’s time to get this out of the way.”
Any “pleasure” I derive from sex is mostly psychological, like making my partner happy. Or the sensual pleasure of enjoying the aesthetic or mentally feeling as though I’m taking part in a steamy movie or book scene. It takes a lot of outside fantasizing for me to orgasm with a partner – not because they’re “unattractive,” but I simply don’t get much out of being touched by others.
I do get horny, but all I want to do is masturbate and get it out of my system – like a sneeze, or taking a shower when you feel grimy. I once read someone describe their sex drive as being like an itch – you sometimes get an itch, and sometimes you will scratch it, sometimes you won’t, but you wouldn’t even consider asking someone else to scratch it for you. I only participate in partnered sex because I know it’s important to my husband. It’s so weird to me when he gets insecure about worrying that I will “find someone else to meet my sexual needs” when we’ve been too busy to spend time together, because I could literally go the rest of my life without having intercourse with another person and be completely fine with it. I like romantic companionship and miss him as a person when he’s away, but the lack of sex never even crosses my mind. I’ve truly never experienced the concept of “missing” sex or “needing” sex.
I also think this is why I was able to be a great sex worker. My ex never understood how I could have sex with strange men and not “feel” anything, but I have always likened it to washing the dishes. I don’t “like” it, but I don’t hate or feel any particular way about it. It’s just a chore I have to do to get a desired outcome (clean dishes/income), and then I go about my day.
But, like you said, all asexuals are different, and there are certainly descriptions out there that I don't match up with. But it's a much wider "umbrella" term than most people think, so it's been worth the research into others and myself.
Exactly, yes to all of this!! To be honest, i try not to even talk to my partner about it much, because it isn't useful or productive to explain my experience of sex. He's aware of my orientation and gender identity, of course, but i want him to enjoy sex with me, without the burden of full awareness of how i experience it. I try not to think about my own orientation much, since it is counterproductive to my goal of being an enthusiastic participant when pleasing my partner. Maybe that sounds sad to some people, but it's not sad for me (it actually allows me to have a normal, happy life).
And i do the same thing you described - if I'm trying to get off during oral or whatever, i do a massive amount of external fantasizing, even though my partner is very attractive... I'll be fantasizing about other people fucking, or whatever comes up in my naughty mental rolodex. Like you, i used to think i was bisexual, since i had equal interest in men and women. I think it's very confusing to grow up asexual.
charlie61
11-15-2020, 03:08 PM
I confess that I've been extremely lazy with staying mentally aware and centered lately. Lots of time on my phone or reading escapist stuff, not enough time meditating, stretching, working on staying mentally present. I think it takes a lot of self discipline to stay on top of a meditation regimen, and i just have not been putting in the effort lately. I don't have any excuses for being lazy with all of that, either - i have plenty of time and opportunities to put my phone down and center myself.
Aurora_Sunset
11-15-2020, 06:11 PM
Anxious, depressed, unfocused, mentally all over the place and nowhere solid, all at the same time lately. I don't know if it's the weather, the time of year, a natural dip in my emotional highs and lows after I rode a high for a couple of months, or... what... I wish I didn't work so much and could just ride it out in solitude and laziness with TV, booze, and video games, like I used to. But I guess also kinda grateful that I have somewhere to be, as I know that wallowing isn't a good thing.
Honestly, I feel like I just need a good cry for emotional release. The feeling of wanting to cry is mentally there all the time, but I'm not a big crier. I don't know how to let it out on command.
charlie61
11-15-2020, 07:06 PM
I confess that i have a great picture of my ass on my phone, but i can't share it with anyone, because I'd peed right before taking it, and you can clearly see the imprint of a toilet seat on my butt, hahaha! Sorry for TMI. I'd been trying to take sexy pics for my partner while he was on a motorcycle trip. Epic fail, lol.
lynn2009
11-15-2020, 08:38 PM
I really hope my house is not a huge mistake. The first two houses I bid on were 3-3.25x my annual income. Pretty safe. The house I'm buying, and already paid 10,000 nonrefundable deposit on, is 3.6x my income. It's making me nervous. I definitely would have bought something smaller and less updated, but that kind of decent starter home is just too competitive right now. I'm generally really careful with money and started out determined to not spend more than 2.75x my income. I probably will be house poor but I am such a boring homebody that I think house poor might be ok for me...
charlie61
11-15-2020, 09:11 PM
I really hope my house is not a huge mistake. The first two houses I bid on were 3-3.25x my annual income. Pretty safe. The house I'm buying, and already paid 10,000 nonrefundable deposit on, is 3.6x my income. It's making me nervous. I definitely would have bought something smaller and less updated, but that kind of decent starter home is just too competitive right now. I'm generally really careful with money and started out determined to not spend more than 2.75x my income. I probably will be house poor but I am such a boring homebody that I think house poor might be ok for me...
Errybody be house poor right now, especially if you're a first-time home buyer under 40 and don't live in middle America. You have to get into the market somehow. And it might be an option for you to get a roommate short-term for some rental income to help. No need to pay taxes on the rental income since that money will be going towards interest and taxes. Mortgage plus utilities can be a lot. I didn't realize how many damn utilities there are, and they can really add up depending on your city (internet, gas, electric, water, sewer, garbage).
My boss lives in Iowa and her house cost $125k. I almost choked when she told me. I live on the west coast, and we just bought our first house for $510k.
Elektra Luxx
11-15-2020, 10:21 PM
I really hope my house is not a huge mistake. The first two houses I bid on were 3-3.25x my annual income. Pretty safe. The house I'm buying, and already paid 10,000 nonrefundable deposit on, is 3.6x my income. It's making me nervous. I definitely would have bought something smaller and less updated, but that kind of decent starter home is just too competitive right now. I'm generally really careful with money and started out determined to not spend more than 2.75x my income. I probably will be house poor but I am such a boring homebody that I think house poor might be ok for me...
Yes, you may be house poor for a awhile, but you do a great job for your employer and they kinda appreciate you. You're going to be fine.
indiegirl
11-15-2020, 10:22 PM
I really hope my house is not a huge mistake. The first two houses I bid on were 3-3.25x my annual income. Pretty safe. The house I'm buying, and already paid 10,000 nonrefundable deposit on, is 3.6x my income. It's making me nervous. I definitely would have bought something smaller and less updated, but that kind of decent starter home is just too competitive right now. I'm generally really careful with money and started out determined to not spend more than 2.75x my income. I probably will be house poor but I am such a boring homebody that I think house poor might be ok for me...
Oh gosh I felt the same when I bought mine. They wanted 105,000 dollar deposit a few years ago. I was left with 30 bucks in my bank account terrified when I bought it because they changed their mind last minute on the downpayment amount. At the very least if you think you can't afford it at any point you can rent it out and move in with family (if you can) and make a profit...My house was a good investment after all. The house is now at 637,000 value compared to 501,000 when I bought it. Totally get how terrifying it is though! I'm sure it will work out in the end over a few years staying there :).
indiegirl
11-15-2020, 11:44 PM
Watched Chelsea Handlers Evolution stand up today and I'm in such a better mood. She has that type of comedy I love.
^^ I used to be able to cry so easily but I feel the same as this now, I cannot even cry for my marriage specifically, like I just dont care anymore, never thought id be in such a relationship really not a marriage, I just cant cry anymore, he isnt ish, it is what it is... I love my kids tho, it would be so nice to feel that connection with someone again like to really love them. Once too much has been done for me I dont think there is ever any going back ill never feel that way for him again.
carmen_b
11-16-2020, 11:31 AM
Aw !!! :(
^.