View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
indiegirl
01-11-2021, 02:02 AM
Got a PM on here from some new guy "I would like to meet you". ........Honey NOOOO. This is a female forum. Back up! Geez this is my comfort/safe site.
indiegirl
01-11-2021, 02:07 AM
^^That sounds good!
Omg the beets (sounds gross but not) and ginger taste really make the juice tasting good!
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2021, 07:45 AM
Got a PM on here from some new guy "I would like to meet you". ........Honey NOOOO. This is a female forum. Back up! Geez this is my comfort/safe site.
Some of these dudes are thirsty af on here.
A while back I had one try to insinuate we should meet up in real life. I never did cause I don't want the fantasy to blend with reality.
Anyhow,
Turns out he's a low life cheapskate so I'm glad I never entertained that fool.
indiegirl
01-11-2021, 01:32 PM
WTF is happening on lyft? I was sent a safety concern wondering where I was at or if I needed help since the car wasn't in motion. I'm at the grocery store picking food up and waiting in line! Not everyone is in some crazy movie with a killer driver. CHILL lollll!! (already explained I need to go to the grocery store to the driver!)
LOL....just put the paper towels in the car trunk *eyeroll* Was this text lyft sends a newly added feauture?
Also me: Gosh I had a great nap wonder why. Then realizing mister needy dog was outside sunbathing "oh that's why"
miss.a.p1600
01-12-2021, 12:06 PM
I haven’t talked to L since yesterday like afternoon
I’ve been a little depressed n so I figured I’d watch porn n do some solo sex to invigorate myself.
He called me while I was watching porn so I told him I’d call him back
Then as I’m finishing he texts me ....... are you okay.
I hope he didn’t hear me moaning lol!
indiegirl
01-12-2021, 12:36 PM
I took in this super big breath to enjoy my essential oil diffuser and inhaled a smelly dog fart instead. SOO therapeutic bahaha.
These dogs are trying to kill me bahaha.
moneybags
01-12-2021, 03:03 PM
Went to the doctor I had a crush on today. He was like, “what activities are you doing!” I was like, “Do you know what web cam modeling is?” He was like,”Noooo.” I finally told him, “I do adult work.” He was like, “Oh.” I think he was more embarrassed than me. Then I just switched back to being very causal. I was totally okay with it. I don’t care. I was more worried about his vanilla ass being able to process what I told him.
I don’t care if he asks personal questions next time I see him. I have no shame, but I’m also not going to be rude by giving intimate details of my work unless he asks.
Imagine having a crush on your patient and then she says she does porn.
Omg. He’s so vanilla...lol. I doubt he watches porn at all.
I’m not going to around telling everyone I do porn, but my days of giving a fuck if someone finds out are over. Sex work is work. I’ll never let anyone shame again for it.
It was medically necessary to disclose that information if he acts like a dick instead of a doctor that says more about him than me.
IDGAF
Elektra Luxx
01-12-2021, 06:21 PM
So earlier I'm just waking from a nap, but I'm still in bed and checking my phone when bf and his cousin barge in and startle the fuck out me. I'm there with no clothes on so I immediately cover myself with a blanket. This is the cousin who I've had a crush on for years. He's so good looking with an amazing butt. He's a nurse and is so sweet, but high energy, funny and so much fun to be around. Anywhoo, I know he saw tits before I could cover up. So there they are both standing by the bed and we're all talking and catching up and then there's a pause in the conversation and they're still standing there and I'm laying there. I think "well these are two aren't leaving". So I get up and head to the bathroom to pee. That's when they decide to leave. Well if he didn't see tits the first time he definitely saw them and a lot more this time. Lol!
JGB2009
01-12-2021, 07:11 PM
So earlier I'm just waking from a nap, but I'm still in bed and checking my phone when bf and his cousin barge in and startle the fuck out me. I'm there with no clothes on so I immediately cover myself with a blanket. This is the cousin who I've had a crush on for years. He's so good looking with an amazing butt. He's a nurse and is so sweet, but high energy, funny and so much fun to be around. Anywhoo, I know he saw tits before I could cover up. So there they are both standing by the bed and we're all talking and catching up and then there's a pause in the conversation and they're still standing there and I'm laying there. I think "well these are two aren't leaving". So I get up and head to the bathroom to pee. That's when they decide to leave. Well if he didn't see tits the first time he definitely saw them and a lot more this time. Lol!
Hey...What ever happened to that other guy you used to talk with at McDonalds?
Elektra Luxx
01-12-2021, 09:52 PM
I moved in with him and his mother. Jk
They moved him to the inside counter and he wasn't at the drive-thru window anymore. I would wave at him if I saw him, but I hardly ever saw him anymore. I haven't seen him in several months. Sigh!
JGB2009
01-12-2021, 10:41 PM
I moved in with him and his mother. Jk
They moved him to the inside counter and he wasn't at the drive-thru window anymore. I would wave at him if I saw him, but I hardly ever saw him anymore. I haven't seen him in several months. Sigh!
Hahaha
indiegirl
01-13-2021, 08:39 AM
I ate 2 hot pockets this morning. ROAR.The gyms aren't open still. I'm so hungry still. Missed my period for a month so.....I'm figuring that out today with a test.. I'm so hungry. PCOS at its finest.
indiegirl
01-13-2021, 08:59 AM
Too funny. Another "no hhr?! or the "I can only pay half of hhr I work at a smoke shop so I can pay half and whatever you need for smokes. The day I'm vaping or smoking on the regular NOOOOO I would be better working at the grocery store financially if all custies pulled this. I've been up for 6 hours hoping for an appointment. Hope to find a resolution. I hate bitching on here all the time upset.
Nap time now I deserve. Gotta find a site where I get what I need.
carmen_b
01-13-2021, 10:49 AM
When I was doing massage I’d quote half hour at $1 less than hour.
Idiots.
I wish these guys would have to just have a permanent “ I’m cheap “ tattoo across their face when they do this kind of stuff.
indiegirl
01-14-2021, 09:43 AM
Just requested on TER to start reposting on their request page ( I need a review that was posted to be moved so I look active due to their site shutdown in 2017/8). I managed to figure my password out so I can advertise there, get a few new reviews, and sign up for P411 all over again. I'm so glad. I need more venues to rely on. Hope it works! :)!
Just got another HHR question on the other site I've been on for years and just now a bareback request. I need more respect.
My reviews are always in the 9-10's on TER...this one is an 8/8....I don't fucking care that I have covid weight at this point. Obviously I want to lose some pounds and gain muscle again to return but it's not a true crisis. It's not worth going to the gym and any time someone suggests home exercises I roll my eyes in my head. They don't do much I tried. Sometimes I see large girls with good reviews and then when they see me and I've gained 2-5 lbs the spinner/athletic look isn't like the photo (2-5lbs and getting upset) it angers me.
I'm focusing on researching what to do for school during this time not on how hard a dick gets...but still, I need money.
indiegirl
01-14-2021, 10:36 AM
I must (ashamedly ) confess, I'm still attracted to the (cute) asshole upstairs:(>:(.
However, Im really glad I never messed around w/him..
I so need to GET OUT, get some random d*ck & get over it :).
Just finished some light grocery shopping, (cammed earlier) fixed sick roomie scrambled eggs, then spaghetti for me, chilling now & go back on cam
Isn't it crazy how when meeting someone new the old guy you were so into doesn't even matter anymore lol.
carmen_b
01-14-2021, 10:47 AM
^ Indeed. :)
I think this guy was toying with you too. Like ... he accepted all that generosity with the food ect.
I thought there might be a spark but either he was too much of a baby to act on it ( gross and a turn off in itself ) or he just liked the ego boost that this girl near him was crushing / feeding him. I'd probably just ignore him OR flat out ask about dating . I can be a touch more on the " leave no stone unturned " side though ! Like .... I just have to KNOW what's up if I'm truly attracted to someone. If they say that they don't want anything then hey it's done and onto the next.
carmen_b
01-14-2021, 10:51 AM
We had such am amazing time last night having steaks by a fire at this lodge.
BUT I was fighting with my PMS hormones the entire time.
My body is just screaming at me " I hate EVERYTHING " but logically I know I'm having this great experience.
Yuck !!
My body ruined road trip day 1 .
J also was partially to blame though.
He arrive late and by the time he got here and got settled we were eating too late .
I was mad too because I took SO much time getting ready and shaving entire body ect. plus doing makeup.
^ He didn't say a damn thing about it .
Eh. You win some you lose some I guess when it comes to travel days.
So I confess I feel like a bad road trip buddy when supposedly I'm an expert in this ! ;/
Elektra Luxx
01-14-2021, 04:24 PM
I've got all this pent up tension energy that needs to be released, but bf is working late. I keep crunching my thighs together, but that's not really helping. I'm ready to GO!
carmen_b
01-14-2021, 04:37 PM
^ Word ! ha
It's actually been FOUR days here lol. Not that I'm counting.
I know tonight will be different though. We both seem back to out usual selves.
I'm just going to run around no makeup today. I don't think he notices or maybe he prefers a natural look.
:)
indiegirl
01-14-2021, 09:07 PM
Wooopsie-doodle! Lol I had a back to back client coming here and I totally forgot. Decided to take a nap not remembering the second one LOL. I feel bad.
On a side note I had lengthy texts back and forth with a customer and just got a “who is this?” Text.....from past experience this is your wife texting me!!! Geeez! The wife text always scares me. I don’t know who’s married or not when contacting me.
One regular in the past had to cancel his appointment and enter counseling after his wife saw our texts.
Get a burner phone geez
Also just got the text grandpa may not make it through Covid at the nursing home. They are having to get a machine for him to breathe and a nurse called saying he looks like he is ready to enter the next stage of his life. Geeez.
Mom has been nothing but kind about my Covid concerns since this is happening. It’s not a joke to me.
moneybags
01-15-2021, 09:32 PM
I did some butt stuff for a customer and now my ass hurts. I’m not doing anal anymore. Guys like it. I tried it and I feel like shit (no pun intended). I don’t judge, but I’m not doing anything that doesn’t feel good anymore. I can’t work tonight, so I’m gonna watch some Netflix and chill
LoveyDovey
01-15-2021, 10:16 PM
I did some butt stuff for a customer and now my ass hurts. I’m not doing anal anymore. Guys like it. I tried it and I feel like shit (no pun intended). I don’t judge, but I’m not doing anything that doesn’t feel good anymore. I can’t work tonight, so I’m gonna watch some Netflix and chill
I hate anal. Haven't done it in years. The only way I'll do anal is if a guy buys me a new car and pays my bills first, and even then it'll be like once every six months if that.
moneybags
01-15-2021, 11:26 PM
I hate anal. Haven't done it in years. The only way I'll do anal is if a guy buys me a new car and pays my bills first, and even then it'll be like once every six months if that.
might but that in my bio.
indiegirl
01-16-2021, 02:22 PM
Grandpa's hospice nurse said he can't speak today because of the pain from covid. Dunno if pain is a symptom of covid? They put him on morphine.
Elektra Luxx
01-16-2021, 03:34 PM
I did some butt stuff for a customer and now my ass hurts. I’m not doing anal anymore. Guys like it. I tried it and I feel like shit (no pun intended). I don’t judge, but I’m not doing anything that doesn’t feel good anymore. I can’t work tonight, so I’m gonna watch some Netflix and chill
I hate anal. Haven't done it in years. The only way I'll do anal is if a guy buys me a new car and pays my bills first, and even then it'll be like once every six months if that.
Bf loves it, but I had to tell him that it makes my insides feel are all jumbled up. We did it recently and I forgot how much I don't like it. I even prepared with a toy and tried a bearing down technique. I was clawing at the bed sheet. Nope.
carmen_b
01-16-2021, 03:41 PM
^ If I ever do butt stuff I’m going to negotiate the most luxe vacation first.
Then probably limit the length to 2” !!
Wtf who thought of this ?!? Lol
carmen_b
01-16-2021, 03:43 PM
I did let him buy this very small toy though. It’s so little. The piece that goes in butt is like .5” by 2”.
I don’t mind a little sensation back there but all of him ? It will never happen!!!
LoveyDovey
01-16-2021, 05:09 PM
Bf loves it, but I had to tell him that it makes my insides feel are all jumbled up. We did it recently and I forgot how much I don't like it. I even prepared with a toy and tried a bearing down technique. I was clawing at the bed sheet. Nope.
I know that feeling. Plus, it gives me UTIs and when it gets messy it turns me off. So if they want anal, They're going to have to be prepared to take me to urgent care and pay my bills. Usually that deters them haha
charlie61
01-16-2021, 06:22 PM
I confess that I'm secretly getting back into the clip game, and i don't know if it's unethical to not tell my partner. Really want this as a side hustle, really don't want to hurt my relationship.
miss.a.p1600
01-16-2021, 06:54 PM
& I just had that same thought .......
Yes I’d consider it to be unethical cause it’s something that would have to be hidden, something you’d currently/actively be doing, something they’d get pissed if they found out, something they probably wouldn’t want you to do if you told them about it, etc
If that route is taken gotta make sure they NEVER find out.
Another more ‘ethical’ option is to wait till on a break, create n upload a bunch of clips, so this way if the partner found out it’s like ‘hey we were on a break n what I do during the break is my business’
I know my situation is different from yours but I’m on the verge of caring more about my coins than about love. L is in denial about the amount of money it takes to live comfortably with a new baby and right now I cant rely on this ONE man to be a provider - so multiple men it shall be
Geez I sound a bit cold but eh.....
charlie61
01-16-2021, 07:00 PM
Yeah, i don't know if it's unethical, honestly. It's not like dancing or camming, which are super interactive with customers, often one-on-one. I'm just uploading myself doing things in my own home, and people will hopefully buy those clips. Sure, it would make him uncomfortable if he knew, but i don't know. I kind of think it isn't his business. He's not someone who would ever tell me that i can't do certain things. I really don't know...
miss.a.p1600
01-16-2021, 07:16 PM
I think about the many things that people in relationships do where they don’t necessarily tell EVERYTHING....so I get that part. Maybe it’s a grey area but then again if you are thinking about it n can’t do it without doing it in secret then....
By telling him beforehand - Do you think it would be an instant dealbreaker for him or it would just cause some friction that you’d rather avoid
miss.a.p1600
01-16-2021, 07:40 PM
I confess.
I feel like relationships (some of them, n maybe the one I’m in) are only for emotional comfort.
And do I really need emotional comfort from a man when I’ve been getting along fine for all these years with just comforting n loving myself.
indiegirl
01-16-2021, 10:22 PM
I confess.
I feel like relationships (some of them, n maybe the one I’m in) are only for emotional comfort.
And do I really need emotional comfort from a man when I’ve been getting along fine for all these years with just comforting n loving myself.
Relationships and emotional support are so important though. Less people have time for friends when they have a family/kids as we get older.
indiegirl
01-16-2021, 10:25 PM
Every single blog I have posted on that site has been deleted. LOLLLLL. Honestly believe I fucked one of the moderators and pissed him off for some reason. Had my account deleted for no reason in the past right after seeing a customer when he showed up in his minivan. He even shorted me too. I'm gonna have major men issues when I leave this business. *cringe*
I'm all ready to work tonight and just don't want to subject myself to more abuse LOL. Had a few regulars in San Diego apologize for other men after seeing my blog angry over cheap/unsafe men before it got taken down...which was nice.
Aurora_Sunset
01-17-2021, 01:29 PM
I feel so done with trying to figure out my career life. I just feel like there's nothing out there for me. I don't really have anything I'm good at, nor do I have any passions about things long-term. I'm absolutely done going back to school for anything. I've never liked anything enough to stick with it after spending the money. When I think about staying at Amazon for the rest of my life, I literally want to crawl into a hole and die, but I cannot even picture a life in the future where I'm doing something else, because I have nothing else I want to pursue.
My husband tried to help today when I told him by doing the whole, "What's the one thing you would do every day for the rest of your life if you could do anything?" thing, and I got shitty with him and was like, "Do you honestly think I haven't tried that trick on myself? If I had an answer, I wouldn't be depressed." I know exactly what I would do every day if could do anything, because, aside from the occasional appointment, that was my life as an escort. The answer is watch TV and drink too much. Travel to visit friends and family a lot. Occasionally get into a new exercise or diet routine when I feel fat. Volunteer sometimes to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. That's it. That's not a career path.
I just feel like if I haven't found anything to care about by now, there isn't anything for me. And I'm done trying. Every self-development book I try to read starts with the assumption that people have some sort of dream to run toward or a "why." When you literally don't have any of that, these tools are pointless.
I feel like that soul in Disney's new Soul that doesn't see the point to living because nothing is interesting.
indiegirl
01-17-2021, 02:28 PM
I feel so done with trying to figure out my career life. I just feel like there's nothing out there for me. I don't really have anything I'm good at, nor do I have any passions about things long-term. I'm absolutely done going back to school for anything. I've never liked anything enough to stick with it after spending the money. When I think about staying at Amazon for the rest of my life, I literally want to crawl into a hole and die, but I cannot even picture a life in the future where I'm doing something else, because I have nothing else I want to pursue.
My husband tried to help today when I told him by doing the whole, "What's the one thing you would do every day for the rest of your life if you could do anything?" thing, and I got shitty with him and was like, "Do you honestly think I haven't tried that trick on myself? If I had an answer, I wouldn't be depressed." I know exactly what I would do every day if could do anything, because, aside from the occasional appointment, that was my life as an escort. The answer is watch TV and drink too much. Travel to visit friends and family a lot. Occasionally get into a new exercise or diet routine when I feel fat. Volunteer sometimes to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. That's it. That's not a career path.
I just feel like if I haven't found anything to care about by now, there isn't anything for me. And I'm done trying. Every self-development book I try to read starts with the assumption that people have some sort of dream to run toward or a "why." When you literally don't have any of that, these tools are pointless.
I feel like that soul in Disney's new Soul that doesn't see the point to living because nothing is interesting.
I feel like I wrote this. Or getting shouted at to choose something as a job. Why do something you hate? Meanwhile there are people out there like "This is my calling" .....motherfucker!!! I am stalling because of covid and I'm not passionate or excellent at anything. Only chose nursing and upping an antidepressant dosage because I can't do this forever.
I was told I was very intelligent by a few therapists I was forced to see. I'm sure you are too but what does that matter if you don't have passion for a job? Getting a job and checking the clock until you leave is such a depressing fear.
Wish I could give advice but we are in the same boat lol. *Hugs*
WendiStarr
01-17-2021, 03:52 PM
I ate Chinese food for dinner, even though I should be eating home cooked food to save money.
miss.a.p1600
01-17-2021, 05:51 PM
I'm starting to feel annoyed with men again.....like sometimes they just exist and are not helpful in any sense except to chat n pass the time.
Like all most of them are good for is being pen pals and maybe some mediocre dick ---- where is the 'I hate men thread'?
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-17-2021, 06:09 PM
I confess I'm content with the excitement level of my middle aged life as " Ooooooo I might get sex from my boyfriend tonight."
indiegirl
01-17-2021, 06:53 PM
Fuck...well grandpa just passed away. :( At least he's not suffering anymore.
Wasn't close to him like my grandma since he mostly lived in Oregon but I'm sure my mom is very upset right now. I can't imagine the pain of cancer and exhaustion of covid at the same time. Geeez.
He always had this odd relationship with me (compared to my siblings) that I did not want where he thought something was a kind inside joke and he would do this for YEARS. LOL! Then when one of my former cats died after 12 years he did this thing where he pretended the cat wasn't even dead when I'd ask how he was doing "Oh he's chasing mice in the field!" Lol that cat must've lived for 30 impressive years grandpa LOL.
carmen_b
01-17-2021, 07:27 PM
Right there with ya. haha
I confess I'm content with the excitement level of my middle aged life as " Ooooooo I might get sex from my boyfriend tonight."
Elektra Luxx
01-17-2021, 07:38 PM
^^^
Indiegirl, I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa.
indiegirl
01-17-2021, 07:40 PM
^^^
Indiegirl, I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Thank you so much. I hate death :(. The covid was too much for him. :(
LoveyDovey
01-17-2021, 08:02 PM
I'm sorry for your loss, indiegirl. So sad.
carmen_b
01-17-2021, 08:43 PM
So sorry Indie !! :(
charlie61
01-17-2021, 09:01 PM
Aurora - i resigned myself to my career search years ago. I came to terms with the fact that my work will never be my life, so i should stop searching for careers that i want to define my life. I realized that while there are no limits to what i COULD do professionally, i really don't have any profession-oriented drive. And i also realized that, the things i do enjoy, i don't want to turn into *work.* So for me, it makes way more sense to find a job that's more of just...a job. I started at a low level in the vanilla world five years ago, committed to staying with a big company, and have been taking opportunities that are decently interesting to me whenever i see them, and taking those pay jumps. Here's the secret: you can't see 99% of available jobs until you're working at a company and have access to those jobs. I think it's a much more realistic approach to start at a company you can get behind, commit yourself to using that as a jumping-off point, and then use your reactions to that initial position to guide your future career moves (maybe it's the wrong company for you, or maybe you like the company but hate your current job, so look for different roles). I definitely think that there is an adjustment period when you're getting into the vanilla flow. Either it's worth it to you to adjust, so you should push through that period, or it isn't worth it to you. I choose to enjoy what i do, because i know that i make good money, have great benefits, and i can engage myself in what i do for 40 hours a week in a low-stress position that allows me to live multiple aspects of my life in my free time. I don't want to be consumed by my work, so i think it's a blessing in many ways that my job is just a job.
Anyway, that's enough rambling. Just wanted to offer a perspective since i used to experience so much angst over this topic for the same reasons you described, until i realized that my mentality is what needed adjusting. And now, i feel great about where I'm at. I'll never make a million dollars a year from some amazing start-up that i created, but i don't give a shit. I'm wealth building slowly and smartly through investments, home ownership, and enjoying where I'm at instead of wishing for a life that someone else wants, not me.
miss.a.p1600
01-17-2021, 09:59 PM
I think my dude is colorist....but he says 'its just his preference' n he's not colorist.
kimbe
01-18-2021, 12:16 AM
Indiegirl, sorry for you loss. :(
Even though people may suffer, are old and sick etc etc, the loss of a person close to you is never easy.