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sananeko
12-01-2010, 05:45 PM
i have some self esteem issues im working on. I get nervous at work. Not on the floor in the dressing room! about making close relationships, saying something stupid idk. sometimes i feel like im not good enough- not funny, smart etc enough.

Your just in a area where people need you to think like that to get what they want. People call me out of my mind... I don't drink (something must be wrong), I don't smoke (really wrong), I don't do drugs (but but your a dancer...), And I don't have sex with people I don't know more than a year and a half. (wow I'm never getting laid...) I just do my thing and be myself. If everyone was the same then nothing would be interesting. If that your picture I think your beautiful. I also think self esteem is a word made for people that can't find a stereotype for you and they get scared and attack it.

jennsweet
12-01-2010, 07:06 PM
Sooo true. My SO is a shy, unassuming software developer who always thought he had an average or even small penis...until I was like "Uh, dude... :O" Nice thick 7 incher (it's a grower instead of a shower). He's an Italian with a lightweight muscular build. God I love older men. Can't wait til he gets more salt n' peppery with age. :blush:

one word... clooney!

mine is the same... very small, very defined... just about the sexiest thing ever. very confident, but never has anything to prove. it's one thing to have "it", but i think you ruin it when you have to shove your sexiness in everyones face. thats a turn off. and i think ur right, it all comes with age.

DancingDaisy
12-01-2010, 07:38 PM
Im kicking myself for falling in love with a guy who works out of town all the time among other problems. Im lonely and I feel like I want to move on with my life and go back to being happy like I was before I met him. Im exhausted and stressed because Im working 7 days a week-5 days at my "normal" job, 2 days at the club, plus posting videos on shakinit.com, and taking classes online.

britneyireland
12-01-2010, 08:39 PM
I feel bad because i wasted my money i made from dancing. I want to be with my boyfriend but im afraid that he dosnet want to grow or have anything better in life. we are on a break right now. I dont know where my life is going. i dont know how long i want to dance for. im all over the place in career choices

1. How you "feel" about your finances is a choice. You learn best from your mistakes, so what was the lesson you learned about the way you spent your money in the past. Reframe your point of view and you will instantly "feel" better.

2. Tony Robbins says "If you aren't growing you are dying." Everyone comes into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. What was the lesson he taught you? Accept it and move on, the feelings of loss will fade with time. Sometimes you have to let go of something "good" for something GREAT.

3. The shortest line between Point A and Point B is not a straight line. Enjoy the journey and have no regrets for all your travels. Focus on your interests and strengths, use dancing as a means to fund those things.

As for the self esteem...I was watching a video today as part of my own personal development. He said, "If you have a fear of rejection, you suck at math." 1000 people can think you're the greatest thing in the world...but that ONE person who doubts you, or rejects you, or laughs at you gets in your head and makes you crazy. Why don't you just get together with the 1000 people who love you and trample the odd man out?

DirtyLittleSecret
12-03-2010, 04:23 PM
... I confess, i hate being bipolar and having no control over my perceptions and emotions.
But i wont see a doctor for help.

Jessie_tinydancer
12-04-2010, 12:43 PM
^ seriously just go beautiful. I promise you will not regret it.

Glamgirl
12-04-2010, 01:51 PM
I think i am falling in love with my bf, but i cant tell him in case he doesnt feel the same way.

MistyRose
12-05-2010, 01:10 AM
Sometimes I doubt your love and think you're with me because it's nice to have somebody who loves you.

_Avery_
12-05-2010, 07:07 PM
Deleted.

jennsweet
12-06-2010, 10:28 AM
hottest chic at a dive place is not so bad. usually the girls are sub-par at those places

Surprise
12-06-2010, 09:17 PM
Also, I feel like taking pics so I'm gonna take pics of me in my new outfits right now & post them on here. 8)

can't wait to see!!

MistyRose
12-07-2010, 03:07 AM
I feel so unloved. :-\

Kylea2
12-07-2010, 03:15 AM
Sometimes I think I need an alter ego alias to post all the dirty things online which I think but would never actually say! I don't want to be defined by them, so I just don't post them.

4everresolutions
12-07-2010, 03:58 AM
^ I'm that way too. I wish I could be more open.....even with myself.

Sometimes I wish I was an extras girl ... I could make what I make in a week in ONE NIGHT. I just can't do it though, and I see those same girls at it all the time, and they just get richer and richer and get all these nice things.... And I just can't. *sigh*

Kylea2
12-07-2010, 04:05 AM
^^^ Mine is more like - if I were with my friends in person I would say it, but I'd never write certain things for all the world to see. I think part of it is that I border on the line of the people I know, & so many people already think that just because I know them I must do the same things they do - but I don't. I don't want to perpetuate or "feed in" to what a lot of people think of me... particularly off SW - like people I don't know IRL who follow me on social networking sites. Some people assume that I do video/escorting/etc because of who I know... & if they ask me I will correct them by telling them I don't, but I try not to say things that will feed into their assumptions. I may work within the industry, but sometimes what I do within certain industries is different than what they think.

Beyond that I feel some of the people & businesses I am associated with probably wouldn't be thrilled if I said some overtly sexual things. LOL - Again things I might joke about to friends in private, but never write out for the public eyes.

Even when I was younger though I always said I was "sexually motivated"... meaning a good percent of the time how I acted & what I made jokes about were fun gestures that related back to genderism with sexual overtones.

Anaaa
12-07-2010, 05:30 AM
I met this amazingly attractive girl and am going to have a threesome with her and her guy friend, then she's going to have one with me and my ex.

GlitterBexie
12-07-2010, 09:36 AM
i love him and he hurt me soo bad
Im going straight back to dancing which is the one thing i know he hates the most AND going out tonight with one of my bestest dancer pals ever and im going out in public and having a drink and probably going on a pole!!...own back much?

sananeko
12-07-2010, 02:08 PM
I never get anything done... have I become so lazy or do I just not like working in front someone that only complains.. I'm going to move the rest of my equipment to the workshop and turn off my phone... I need some quiet work time.. I'll pack up today and leave in the morning.

On a similar note I finally got the heater for the workroom so its not so damn cold there, next is a snack fridge so I don't have to walk in the cold to the gas station just for something.

I can't tell if I need to make a to do list or a work to list.. cause everyone I know has want list and never does someone elses wishlist.

pixierocksonthepole
12-07-2010, 02:39 PM
i envy pregnant women and mothers. :(

Arialandre
12-07-2010, 11:40 PM
I'm so sick of my mainstream job. I can't stop drinking. Seriously, I just sit there wishing for booze all day long. Even though the package says no I have taken to washing down my diet pills (yay hydroxycut!) with martinis now.

You know how ppl always talk about sex workers drinking to get through the day? Well I drink to get through working OUTSIDE the adult industry. It's sooooo gaaaaaay. Now f you'll excuse Me, I have to go mix another drink.

GlitterBexie
12-08-2010, 12:06 AM
i want to stop feeling and fade away. Im a mess, but i know what i have wont kill me...cause i just googled it....literally fuck my life.....ido not see how it can improve,

Tasha_xoxo
12-08-2010, 05:44 AM
i get so fed up with my life sometimes,,
i just wish id meet some great guy like in the movies,,
and hed pick me up in his hot car and we could just drive,,
and never come back,,hed take care of me and give me all zee sex id ask for,,
hmmmm a girl can dream!

::)

kaiarose
12-08-2010, 02:37 PM
The silly number game on facebook is actually making me feel special :) It feels good to write sweet things about people and seeing the nice things they write about you... ahhh so cheesy but I don't care! Tis the season!!

Kellydancer
12-08-2010, 11:01 PM
i envy pregnant women and mothers. :(

I can relate to this because I think I want kids and may not have any. I would be fine just adopting instead of having kids but still I'll see a pregnant woman (one in a marriage) and envy her. However I seriously doubt if I don't end up with the guy I want I'll probably not have kids. 99% of all men are chauvinist and would rather have a tubal ligation before I'd consider getting pregnant by one of these scum guys.

Related to this, I not just envy brides, I literally hate them. I saw a commercial with a bride and started bawling. Several relatives are getting married and I want to hit them. I probably won't attend their weddings because I'll either start a fight with someone or cry. I found the wedding photos of a former coworker online and am green with envy. I'm seeing people who dated guys in less time then I've been in contact with the guy I want getting engaged. I was hoping last year we'd be at this point, but far from it. My mom last Christmas made the comment "maybe next Christmas we'll be planning a wedding". Yeah that's not happening. People over 10 years younger than me are getting married. Then there are the comments from people stating "you'll get married when you are in a wheelchair", my favorite game must be old maid, and I'll die alone. Those comments really sting and make me want to commit suicide. I'm starting to cry again writing all of this.

It's funny because I should be concentrating on finding a job, but no luck there so this occupies my time. I blame me being obsessed with working for this problem. So many people have both a career and a marriage and looks like I'll have neither.

Jessie_tinydancer
12-09-2010, 01:55 AM
I may give a girl or two at work at mouthful this month. Seriously bitches... you are not hot, you are not smart and you are sneaky, backstabbing little whores. I will take you down a notch. Don't think you can walk into MY club and start being dodgy. Don't talk to me, don't touch me and definitely don't look at me.

Glamgirl
12-09-2010, 04:54 AM
My bf hasnt called me darling in over a week, it saddens me a little

_Avery_
12-10-2010, 03:34 PM
Delete.

*Jade*Love
12-10-2010, 03:37 PM
I steal packages of baby wipes from the tanning salon I go to.... I haven't bought my own for a couple months!

sananeko
12-10-2010, 05:30 PM
I'm happier now that I have a heater for my room.. now to clean up and get working.. Problem I no idea what I want to start on when the room is clean.. Hopefully my muse will be back when the room is done.

But what do people think is black pearls with copper?

_Avery_
12-11-2010, 03:16 PM
Delete.

Surprise
12-11-2010, 03:22 PM
I confess:
I haven't had sex in 3 months. I think I'm going crazy.

I haven't had sex in 1 month. i will gladly ravish you. <3

kaiarose
12-11-2010, 03:26 PM
I confess:
I haven't had sex in 3 months. I think I'm going crazy.

I just haven't been horny :-\ Poor hubby is always humping on me but I just want to snuggle!! He's starting to get frustrated with me though... I could honestly go without sex. I like to masturbate and orgasm that way but sex is alot of work when I can come in like, 2 mins with myself..

teaze
12-11-2010, 06:12 PM
Whenever I've read articles on a dancer smacking customers with their heels or anything where a dancers attacks a customer, I've always thought there was something wrong with the girl in order for her to reach that point. Last night, I had my first dose of this extreme rage and now I completely understand why girls act this way. I've worked 15 days in a row and I almost went freaking crazy on somebody's ass by the end of the night.

charlie61
12-11-2010, 08:27 PM
^ Jesus!! How have you worked that many consecutive days???? Is that even possible???

charlie61
12-11-2010, 08:28 PM
I just haven't been horny :-\ Poor hubby is always humping on me but I just want to snuggle!! He's starting to get frustrated with me though... I could honestly go without sex. I like to masturbate and orgasm that way but sex is alot of work when I can come in like, 2 mins with myself..

Lol, totally!!! Especially w/ a vibrator. It takes like, no effort at all.

Christany
12-11-2010, 10:20 PM
So many people have both a career and a marriage and looks like I'll have neither.

Or they could just be really good at hiding what they are missing, and put on a really good front so it seems that way. I see it All. The. Time. girl.

teaze
12-11-2010, 10:23 PM
^ Jesus!! How have you worked that many consecutive days???? Is that even possible???

Lol I'm traveling right now so I try to rake in as much money out of my trip as possible. I always get tempted to go in to dance because I worry I'll miss out on good money for the night so that motivates me. However tonight I have off because I just got some undereye radiesse injections and the swelling is pretty significant. Have you gone on a trip yet Charlie61?

Kellydancer
12-11-2010, 11:15 PM
Or they could just be really good at hiding what they are missing, and put on a really good front so it seems that way. I see it All. The. Time. girl.

Someone said the exact same thing to me the other day and it made me feel better. Just because they have a husband and a good job this can change. Maybe nest year they'll have neither and I'll have both.

Christany
12-11-2010, 11:28 PM
^^
Exactly. Things are never what they seem on the surface. Peel away the bourgeois layers and there might be all kinds of dark secrets. One of my girls is trying to get out a marriage she rushed into and a mortgage right now (dude cheated on her), but they have to figure out how to refinance, so for now... they cope and play along like everything's A-ok. True love will come.

charlie61
12-11-2010, 11:50 PM
Lol I'm traveling right now so I try to rake in as much money out of my trip as possible. I always get tempted to go in to dance because I worry I'll miss out on good money for the night so that motivates me. However tonight I have off because I just got some undereye radiesse injections and the swelling is pretty significant. Have you gone on a trip yet Charlie61?

Gahhh, no. I think I'm going to chicken out. :( Or at least, I'm going to try to get a 'legitimate' job first. If that doesn't work out, then I may just say fuck it and get my ass on the road. I get homesick easily, and I'm afraid I'd get raped in my hotel or something. Sigh. You sure get my respect for having the nads to do it.

GlitterBexie
12-12-2010, 03:42 PM
My most recent confession....i am an uber-snoop....but freaking hellishly good at it! haha :D

Arizona_Angel
12-12-2010, 04:11 PM
My twin sister is such a lazy, selfish b*tch ~~ so I decided to pick up the dog sh*t with her 'lucky towel', put it back on the hook near her shower and not tell her about it. She had her hair wrapped in it before she left for Texas.

Childish, yes.

But it made me feel better.

teaze
12-12-2010, 04:27 PM
..................


Gahhh, no. I think I'm going to chicken out. :( Or at least, I'm going to try to get a 'legitimate' job first. If that doesn't work out, then I may just say fuck it and get my ass on the road. I get homesick easily, and I'm afraid I'd get raped in my hotel or something. Sigh. You sure get my respect for having the nads to do it.

charlie61
12-12-2010, 04:28 PM
Well thats great that you have a degree and when you get the job you won't have to lie about what you do for work ;D! Are you planning on dancing once you get a legit job? It does get pretty lonely traveling and I've already had one guy wait outside the club and follow me to my car so now I walk out with security. If you end up needing to travel I bet it would be more fun to go with a group of girls.

It depends on how long it takes me to find a legit job! :D

Surprise
12-14-2010, 01:25 AM
i have a hot date tommorow, and after dinner, i am gonna ride him like seabiscuit. i hope it makes my ex boyfriend (who i still live with for a few more weeks) extremely jealous. this is a win win situation. zomg he is sooooo fine. *drools*

teaze
12-15-2010, 03:23 AM
...............

Glamgirl
12-15-2010, 09:03 AM
I see my bf almost every weekend as he lives an hour away( we have been going out for just over a month)
I met my bf's parents and grand parents at the weekend and he was so lovely and touchy feely. I have hardly heard from his this week!!
He txt to say sorry for being distant, and i txt telling him i understood as he has been under a lot of stress with work and i ask if i can help as i feel like im bugging him sometimes.
So he tells me that is not the case at all and that he has work to catch up with and that he isnt being distant on purpose.
Fair enough!
It is just so frustrating to me because im not very confident and a paranoid part of me thinks he doesnt want to be with me and blah blah blah( i have been screwed over by every guy ive been with) , But then ppl tell me that he wouldnt be taking me to meet his family if he felt that way and that he wouldnt apologise for being distant.
Grrrr i just dont like this lack of contact!! I dont wanna bug him with txts or anything as i think men should have their space but it is doing my head in!

Promnesiac
12-15-2010, 02:04 PM
I just lost my job. And it's nothing I did -- but the nature of internet startups. Business model changes, and a creative director becomes the last thing they need. But I confess that I can't help but replay every second in my head and wonder if it's something I did wrong.

Oh and for breakfast I had some ice cream and a xanax. Ya know, because I like to deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

charlie61
12-15-2010, 02:30 PM
I just lost my job. And it's nothing I did -- but the nature of internet startups. Business model changes, and a creative director becomes the last thing they need. But I confess that I can't help but replay every second in my head and wonder if it's something I did wrong.

Oh and for breakfast I had some ice cream and a xanax. Ya know, because I like to deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

Oh no! I'm so sorry. :( That's really terrible. Especially in this economy.

MistyRose
12-15-2010, 02:34 PM
I just lost my job. And it's nothing I did -- but the nature of internet startups. Business model changes, and a creative director becomes the last thing they need. But I confess that I can't help but replay every second in my head and wonder if it's something I did wrong.

Oh and for breakfast I had some ice cream and a xanax. Ya know, because I like to deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

I'm sorry, too. :( Hang in there. You know the proverb: This too shall pass. :hug: