View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
moneybags
01-31-2021, 12:44 AM
very different story if you are fucking for a living. But the other tame sex jobs are mostly accepted in LA.
Yep. Totally depends on where you are on the whorearchy
indiegirl
01-31-2021, 01:31 AM
Customer asking me why I don’t have reviews and wondering why I won’t see him when the previous customer reported 3 cop cars around the hotel when he arrived.
His reviews were from 2017!!!
“I’m very selective of who I see.” Yeah me too and it’s not LE!
You don’t want this shit on your record!! No thanks.
carmen_b
01-31-2021, 09:28 AM
Aw Indie : sounds like he likes you.
My desert lover Mr. Tall ( before I met J ) was a hotel front desk guy haha.
We didn’t meet at the hotel but he had a high standard and pride with his job. It was really cute.
I mean he was 6’8” and hot AF. I’m sure I’m not the only traveler who noticed him hahaha.
carmen_b
01-31-2021, 11:13 AM
I guess at one point my partner almost worked for FetLife.
So damn cool. :)
I prob can mention sex work past when I’m ready.
charlie61
01-31-2021, 11:31 AM
I guess at one point my partner almost worked for FetLife.
So damn cool. :)
I prob can mention sex work past when I’m ready.
Be careful! I know a lot of people who have "thought about" doing sex work or "almost did x,y,z"... but actually doing it for years vs just considering doing it are two very different things, as you know. That said, I'm all for transparency! Good luck!
carmen_b
01-31-2021, 12:16 PM
^ Yeah not ready for disclosure anyway. Due to past bad experiences this information is only for people who know me more than a year anyway. :)
carmen_b
01-31-2021, 12:17 PM
I did use it as an opportunity to ask things like “ did you hesitate due to conservative family ?” Ect.
He said he wouldn’t have hid it ( he’s a software engineer ). They were offering good $ but he just got a stronger offer elsewhere. This is 5 years ago.
indiegirl
01-31-2021, 12:42 PM
Mannn I wish I could just stay another day here I hate going back and forth just to feed my dogs missing out on money. I dunno what to do. I absolutely don’t want a stranger in my house feeding them. Ughhh. They eat raw meat too so I can’t use an auto feeder.
Also the front desk guy is back working this morning. “We’re just gonna waive your late checkout fee.” Roarrrr go away! Lollll. This guy!!! There is no we, it’s you! Lol
lurkingtitties
01-31-2021, 12:55 PM
Kinda happens sadly :(...nobody wants to know someone they are seeing is doing sex work and few guys are supportive of it. Like some girls with bf's at the club I would be shocked like "how did you find someone rare that is willing long term till marriage?" Sticking to lying is what I did dating cops. But it feels like crap lying because you can't be your true self where they accept you as you. I dunno but then there are people like Channon Rose (former porn star/escort) youtuber and her husband is so supportive of her. She's pregnant with their second kid. It's hard to know what to do. It's so taboo and it sucks.
One of my old dancer friends was married for years while dancing. Ultimately they got divorced for unrelated reasons and she dated around for a while before getting into another relationship. I caught up with her recently and asked her what her approach was as far as telling new dates. She told me she was always up front about it and just acted like it was no big deal and the guys she dated mostly would act appropriately about it.
I was kinda surprised when she told me that because I’ve had a lot of potential dates be lame about it. Either fetishizing it or writing me off as the dumb stripper girl who’s just good for a good time (despite the fact that the last time I danced was 2018...so annoying). But, I told the guy I’m currently seeing on our first date and he’s been totally cool about it! He’s interested in hearing my wild stories and will ask questions sometimes but in a normal healthy way. He’s like a straight edge wholesome dude too so you really never know who will accept it...
indiegirl
01-31-2021, 01:02 PM
My card got denied at the store today when I was trying to buy food, it was slightly embarrassing. At first I tried removing some things but I gave up pretty fast and decided to come back later after looking up what the problem was. Turns out I was just low on money on the card (and thank god I have savings), I was afraid it got blocked or something, so I transfered some over now and I'll go back to the store in a bit. It made me think of the whole "rejection is god's protection" thing. When I was trying to remove some of the things the cashier was like "What about this chocolate?" lol I guess now going back I could chose to buy better things. But no, I'm about to go back and buy the exact same shit I just tried to buy haha
the worst is when you’re at the grocery store with a bunch of items and it gets declined and you’re holding up the line trying to figure out what happened. One time it was because of my TER membership purchase (they hold the business out of the country) and was logged as suspicious and stopped all purchases on my card until I verified by calling. So embarrassing!
indiegirl
01-31-2021, 01:35 PM
I’m doing a round trip back to my hotel just to feed my dogs and my driver is such an old Russian guy haha. Love it! He got so lost and then when I asked to go to stater bro’s for dog food he typed in starter bros. Lol
charlie61
01-31-2021, 02:00 PM
Indiegirl, i do not understand some of the reviews you mentioned you've gotten - "she was too aggressive"??? Like, they want you to be less enthusiastic and ready to get it on? I thought that was generally the fantasy. But sounds like some of these guys want the GFE where you both pretend like you haven't been hired to get them off... they want to be wined and dined until *they* decide it's time, lol. Totally get why you have no patience for that kind of thing!
lynn2009
01-31-2021, 02:04 PM
I cheated on veganism today.
indiegirl
01-31-2021, 02:48 PM
Indiegirl, i do not understand some of the reviews you mentioned you've gotten - "she was too aggressive"??? Like, they want you to be less enthusiastic and ready to get it on? I thought that was generally the fantasy. But sounds like some of these guys want the GFE where you both pretend like you haven't been hired to get them off... they want to be wined and dined until *they* decide it's time, lol. Totally get why you have no patience for that kind of thing!
Oh the crazy part is some of these guys just look at your photos and book...then get pissed off when you aren’t gfe/sensual. All of my reviews said I was aggressive (dominant) hahahaha. Then they write one upset I wasn’t gfe.
indiegirl
01-31-2021, 03:41 PM
Ughh I was all happy being comfy in my hotel bed again and someone’s having this full blown fight with his gf right outside. I might as well invite them in the room because this is happening nearby. Ughh! I’m not saying anything to front desk because I’m the noise complaint usually working. It’s soooo loud!
Fights been going on for 20 minutes. I think somebody else complained because it’s quiet now.
carmen_b
01-31-2021, 04:35 PM
^ Wtf is it with these guys. They are lucky to have this experience ( even when paying )!!
kimbe
02-01-2021, 01:12 AM
We went skiing and we had a great time! Definitely going another time soon.
(Edit: I realize I posted this in the wrong thread, should have been in random.)
moneybags
02-01-2021, 02:04 AM
^^^LOL....I’m going to start no contact today. Under no circumstance will I call, accidentally run into him, ask him for help (I’ll find someone else), no stalking social media, no listening to anything that will remind me of him, nothing! I’m going to focus on self-love. Can’t believe the last thing he said to me. I’m in the worst time in my life. I did NOTHING to him! He just kicked me when I was down. Ugh! I’m going to focus on my coronavirus recovery as well as my physical recovery. I made an appointment with my Therapist and I have my feminist finance group tomorrow. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I hope I start to heal my body and can go back to the gym.
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 02:24 AM
God Damnit I took a nap after my appointment. I missed on 4 requests! I needed those appointments. Hopefully I get one soon.
Also I got a text from my roommate (my roomies neverrrrr clean) and she said she and her bf cleaned the shower. I was really surprised. Lol! I angrily said out loud “these motherfuckers” stressed trying to feed the dogs while the dogs were playing games trying to be needy refusing to leave my room and my driver was waiting. She prolly thought I was talking about her. Lol mister needy dog is too loved and this is what happens lol
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-01-2021, 06:49 AM
Indiegirl, i do not understand some of the reviews you mentioned you've gotten - "she was too aggressive"??? Like, they want you to be less enthusiastic and ready to get it on? I thought that was generally the fantasy. But sounds like some of these guys want the GFE where you both pretend like you haven't been hired to get them off... they want to be wined and dined until *they* decide it's time, lol. Totally get why you have no patience for that kind of thing!
Hobbyists will complain about random things like- scent of cigarettes, ugly hotel decor, etc.
I had one guy curse me out via email because I informed him I was skipping his city on a work road trip due to lack of interest in my ads.
Not surprisingly these sorts of odd issues indicate that the complainer is a bit mentally unwell.
Confession- made a mess in the kitchen, won't clean it till later.
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 07:53 AM
Hobbyists will complain about random things like- scent of cigarettes, ugly hotel decor, etc.
I had one guy curse me out via email because I informed him I was skipping his city on a work road trip due to lack of interest in my ads.
Not surprisingly these sorts of odd issues indicate that the complainer is a bit mentally unwell.
Confession- made a mess in the kitchen, won't clean it till later.
Oh ya one time I got a complaint touring because there was a major event in town that I had no idea about. Hotel rooms were going for 1000 a night and I got stuck at a comfort inn for 300 dollars. I apologized in advance about the hotel and sure enough he bitches in a review about the hotel LOL.
yeah some will be like “do you ever visit San Diego or sfv? Then when I finally advertise there all I hear is crickets. Not worth the 2 hour drive. I could go on with stories.
The audacity for TER to just ban me after all the shit I dealt with from male behavior on that site for years. Obviously females are not running that site whatsoever.
I’ve had threats of having my tires on my car popped etc. girlllll and you guys just toss me to the curb tolerating some mans BS. I am always nice and respectful during appointments.
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 08:40 AM
Dunno what this black man I’ve seen before is thinking. I am not open to extras. No problem with race but his dick is too much and I will never forget it. I couldn’t work for days because of the pain later. Like jamming a garden hose up me and I have a high pain tolerance.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 08:53 AM
He's just pissed to discover you are NOT naive enough to get involved with him ! YOU have the agency to say no to a still married guy and you did.
Now he is lashing out so just ignore him . Keep some records of your communications in case he gets weird or threatening.
^^^LOL....I’m going to start no contact today. Under no circumstance will I call, accidentally run into him, ask him for help (I’ll find someone else), no stalking social media, no listening to anything that will remind me of him, nothing! I’m going to focus on self-love. Can’t believe the last thing he said to me. I’m in the worst time in my life. I did NOTHING to him! He just kicked me when I was down. Ugh! I’m going to focus on my coronavirus recovery as well as my physical recovery. I made an appointment with my Therapist and I have my feminist finance group tomorrow. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I hope I start to heal my body and can go back to the gym.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 09:19 AM
Thought about it a bit and keeping that room I rent for 3-4 more weeks.
We have been together a bit it does kind of give a nice break to have me stay here ( not at J's ) Sun and Tues.
It's expensive ( $500 ) and seems a little silly sometimes but it does provide accuracy where the AirBnB unsold nights are not perfectly accurate to the nights we need. It is more that I want a *general sense* that we are moving in that forward direction. There are times I think to myself " Ok if you are not moving me in I'd like to just stop having sex with you and start dating one of your neighboors instead . "
Jokes aside I do care about both of them very much. Maybe it's just worth it ( the $ ) to provide this type of accuracy a bit more . I just kind of wussed out too admittedly having the convo when his schedule has been so scattered and he is unhappy with that.
J and I are are both really INTO precision and high performance strategies / life hacking.
I guess it does kind of go against those values to do " space available " living.
It felt like SUCH a waste in Jan. ( I used it THREE nights total ) but the next four days I'd need are sold at both properties.
I'd really like to move forward together !
I WISH my $ situation was NORMAL not " poverty via Covid " lol .
I used to throw down like $1200 for a loft and not give a damn haha.
It still bothers me I don’t “ live “ with my partner.
Keep in mind that still means I’d have 8-13 days a month open in the vacancies of the two AirBnBs I co-own in his area. They are short term rentals and there are two so they are never “ fully “ booked.
Any great tips for getting your partner on board with this ? Eh
We have been together 10 months.
:/
I feel uneasy about spending $500 on a room rental in Feb.
In Jan I only used the room 3-4 nights in the month.
He does have an 8 year old daughter there ( three nights a week ) and we try to keep a pattern of me there just one night in those three day visits ( plus I visit by day a couple hours one of the other days ). While my vacancies line up many times they don’t line up with 100% accuracy.
Thoughts?
We had such wild and spectacular sex last night haha but I know I deserve a partner willing to BUILD with me so I want to talk about what’s next. I’ve learned about him enough to know he didn’t like same day talks about things. I’ll ask to talk ahead .
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 09:54 AM
He's just pissed to discover you are NOT naive enough to get involved with him ! YOU have the agency to say no to a still married guy and you did.
Now he is lashing out so just ignore him . Keep some records of your communications in case he gets weird or threatening.
when I really liked a guy who I found out Was married I stopped contact within weeks. “Are you leaving her yet?” Always stupid excuses. Shocked I was lied to to begin with!
Girl you can find better.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 09:58 AM
^ RIGHT ? If he was offering ANYTHING other than being a pain in the ass they would have already started something up. He should have offered her a generous pay for play arrangement OR presented divorce papers. Money is obviously too smart for his bullshit hahahaha and it probably comes from sex work !!!!
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 05:22 PM
^ RIGHT ? If he was offering ANYTHING other than being a pain in the ass they would have already started something up. He should have offered her a generous pay for play arrangement OR presented divorce papers. Money is obviously too smart for his bullshit hahahaha and it probably comes from sex work !!!!
I made 15k off of mine in 2 months but I was so into him and devastated when I found out in the past. He bought me all these candles I loved from target as a gift too and I just liked him as a person. I bought him dessert (obviously a bad situation because I met him when working) I was such a fool. LOL
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 06:04 PM
I swear to god hahahaha mister needy dog always needs a paw or something touching me. I moved his face from my hip and sure enough in comes his leg on me.
I also need a weed delivery. My edibles have lasted for months because I'm so sparing with them. Time for more. 50 bucks for a few months is a good deal to me. I'm gonna have to have my driver wait to pick some edibles up. I get crappy delivery in my area and it always has a minimum.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 06:18 PM
^ yeah but at least you made something.
This married dude she was talking about was just flirting and putting feelers out and messing with her !
My dog is like that ! He prefers to touch me but will settle with just being near if he can't be right next to me !
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 06:22 PM
I just finished putting away all the dishes/utensils from the dishwasher and realized there was a missing steak knife. I've been watching youtube crime videos along with harry potter too much and my first thought hahaha was "so we're killing each other as roommates now?" LOLLL
Genoveve
02-01-2021, 06:25 PM
I pay my rent to my landlady in person(she lives next door) and because she is really old she always wants to talk for forever when she sees me and today I was not in the mood. I put my check in an envelope, stuck it in her door, went home and called her, told her I had to leave it in her door because I have an upper respiratory infection and my doctor told me I have to self-isolate because I can't risk getting anyone sick because the hospitals are so overwhelmed. I don't even know what an upper respiratory infection is.
moneybags
02-01-2021, 07:42 PM
^ yeah but at least you made something.
This married dude she was talking about was just flirting and putting feelers out and messing with her !
My dog is like that ! He prefers to touch me but will settle with just being near if he can't be right next to me !
That’s so cute....your dog always having to touch you.
Thanks Carmen. I really needed that validation because it was so confusing toward the end. I was trying to be a mature adult and realize he was married, so at the end I was just be friendly while working with him. I think he was just messing with me. I still have no idea why he was so mean to me? I found a new doctor that’s way better than him. My old doctor misdiagnosed me. I’m done with married dudes. I have learned my lesson. If I ever catch some feels again I’m not indulging them. Just gonna push that shit down and focus on my money
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 08:03 PM
When did you guys move in with your partners ?
I want us to fall in " normal " range. Isn't that around 11-12 months ?
:/
I'm so confused ! I'm not sure I'll get what I want here but I am 90% sure I don't want to give it too much more time without that progression. I know I can sometimes expect things to move pretty fast so I try to gauge what is " normal " with what others say and articles ect. !
I've only had two other " longer term " type relationships.
charlie61
02-01-2021, 08:16 PM
When did you guys move in with your partners ?
I want us to fall in " normal " range. Isn't that around 11-12 months ?
:/
I'm so confused ! I'm not sure I'll get what I want here but I am 90% sure I don't want to give it too much more time without that progression. I know I can sometimes expect things to move pretty fast so I try to gauge what is " normal " with what others say and articles ect. !
I'm genuinely still trying to understand if this guy is the one, if you love him, if he's worth waiting for (in your head) or if you're just so focused on milestones that you aren't questioning whether you even want those milestones with HIM specifically (or if he could be someone else, and you'd be happy, as long as you're hitting those milestones). I know we get a limited perspective from what you share, but i still can't tell how you really feel about this guy. If he's worth waiting for, and you want him to be the one for you, then that's your answer (milestones be damned). But if you mostly just want someone to provide sex, spontaneity, and intimacy, and move at your pace, whether it's him or someone else, then it just seems like it's not worth pushing forward into a major commitment.
I don't mean to sound short, just typing on mobile. :)
charlie61
02-01-2021, 08:21 PM
That’s so cute....your dog always having to touch you.
Thanks Carmen. I really needed that validation because it was so confusing toward the end. I was trying to be a mature adult and realize he was married, so at the end I was just be friendly while working with him. I think he was just messing with me. I still have no idea why he was so mean to me? I found a new doctor that’s way better than him. My old doctor misdiagnosed me. I’m done with married dudes. I have learned my lesson. If I ever catch some feels again I’m not indulging them. Just gonna push that shit down and focus on my money
People will do almost anything to save themselves from boredom, and to regain some of that ego validation and boost that they need to get themselves through their everyday lives. Older, married men are incredibly desperate for ego boosts and breaks from the monotony of the daily grind.. I'm sure he did care about you in a sense, but it also sounds like he was toying with you to get that dopamine hit that comes with being lifted up by the attention of a beautiful woman. It's human, and i get it, but it sounds like he was irresponsible, and you got hurt as a result. I'm so sorry. :(
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 08:38 PM
Me calling my nearby weed shady shop “ok and what is the price on the edibles” these illegal shops are soooo different than the legal ones I’m learning.
Response: hun we don’t give prices over the phone.
So much for that...I’m gonna have to go with delivery while Im working out of the area at some point.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 08:52 PM
^ I think I get confused because no one has moved this slowly with me ! I don't think it's *that* bad especially consider having his child factored in BUT in Hawaii my partner and I had our plan for moving ect. in place at about the 10th month mark. I think we moved in at 11.5 months but we knew we would at 10 months. Maybe I'm measuring against that ( I mean we were happy for years ) .
That's why I'm asking about other peoples experiences.
Intuitively it *seems* like things should be going that direction and leveling up in seriousness.
It's also just that I'M ready to create MY home. I gave up my city loft over a year ago and then just got lucky at the start of covid to have free rent March - July roughly ( from the AirBnB's I was managing no longer having guests ). The other co-owners didn't care I was there ( it was welcomed to take care of them ). Now I feel stuck because I feel like we have been together too long to NOT create a home together . I know if I create one MYSELF it'll be the end of us. ;/
I just wonder if I'm crazy for intending to cut him off from attention and sex in 1-3 weeks if we don't move " forward " .
He knows I want to talk. I just wanted to give it a couple days to let him destress a little ( his ex was being a handful this week not following their schedule at all ). I'm trying to time the talk well.
Hearing myself type it all out I do SEE that this issue is also just this very active frustration of living on less income ( like my whole damn life the last 5 months has just been a battle to keep costs down ). It's why when the AirBnB's started selling more heavily as travelers came back that I rented a room instead of whole place. I was trying to be responsible and keep costs low after my income was reduced by about 60% from Covid. I own a business that depends on travelers.
He KNOWS this is what I want too . He joked to my friend last time something like " C would have liked to move in three months ago ".
I feel like such a clown sometimes lol because when this was FLIPPED ( when I was in the area where I was the more established one ) I offered my partner the keys to BOTH my places ( the city one and forest one ) at FOUR months lol. This is in summer 2019 with Aussie B . :/
I knew 4 months was too soon to live together but I wanted him to easily stay in the country without worrying about things.
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 08:58 PM
^ yeah but at least you made something.
This married dude she was talking about was just flirting and putting feelers out and messing with her !
My dog is like that ! He prefers to touch me but will settle with just being near if he can't be right next to me !
true. Walking away from that totally being screwed over is awful!
mine (obviously I made money off him) even did this surprise trip from LA to DC and spent the whole night together to surprise me on tour (not for free). I felt so special then and angry after finding out after hearing he had a wife when we were back in LA.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 09:01 PM
We ( J and I ) have a lot in common and I could really see it working !
^ Maybe I need to just admit that he doesn't *want* to make these progressions with me . I mean I have 6-12 days a month between the TWO AirBnB's that are pretty much guaranteed OPEN vacancies . I prefer to stay at THOSE instead of rent ( at all ! ). I do co-own them. It would be nice if he just OFFERED this to me but of course it can't be THAT easy. I handed my room mate $250 today and felt like such an idiot. Especially because I described to her as needing a place " about 3 months " when renting from her and now I just bought two extra weeks.
I do get really confused though because our WHOLE experience is in Corona times.
I assume we will still get along when life is normal but we don't have much practice with normal conditions. :/
I want to see what my mom thinks ! It feels like you have to set up all these appointment times just to talk to anyones these days ugh.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 09:05 PM
Aw Indie : He was a customer though. It's funny how that experience ( the " specialness " factor of his behavior ) confused you when you are an established SWer ! We have ALL done that I think at one level or another !
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 09:18 PM
Aw Indie : He was a customer though. It's funny how that experience ( the " specialness " factor of his behavior ) confused you when you are an established SWer ! We have ALL done that I think at one level or another !
Yeah he was nicer than any of the guys I ever met lol. I pulled the “but he’s different” on me. When he wasn’t.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 09:20 PM
Another take on it is also to phrase it like this :
I gave up a lot ( schedule and travel freedom ) ect. to DO this with him ( suburban life ). Ha.
In doing it I also created some new things for myself .
I'll be licensed to sell real estate very soon. His area is " hot " for this right now.
This area gave me all this great , new , fresh ENERGY . Take him OUT and I'm still happy here. Take him out and I'll be lonely as hell ( for a while ) BUT I'll still go if I don't feel good about how things look.
I fully intend to stay here and sign on at a brokerage here v.s. my old location.
My business is also pretty strong here ( in normal times ) .
I didn't realize how tired I was of my old location.
charlie61
02-01-2021, 09:22 PM
Carmen, i totally hear you, about the timing of your life and wanting to make a home. I don't think that planning to withhold sex and attention is a healthy reaction, but i think you know that. You're feeling hurt, and maybe a little powerless, so you're searching for things you have power over, which i get.
But anyway, i know you were mostly just looking to hear our experiences.. i think we moved in to an apartment together at the one-year mark, or around that time... my lease was running out and rent was increasing to a silly level, so we made the jump. How does it work when you move into your partner's house? Don't you miss out on building your own equity?
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 09:59 PM
^Thanks for your take.
I have renters in the home I own.
It’s 65-70% paid off.
I have a sizable payment towards next home if J and I wanted to scale up at a later date.
We each have a decent equity amount. He makes more but in real estate equity I have more.
I can use the amount to do my next purchase also for just me or live in that home keeping costs very low.
His home is large and plenty of room . I would eventually just want a “ freshness “ type of scale up. He didn’t live here with his ex long but it has about 18 months of their history. I’d love a fresh one haha but that’s all much later .
The home I own is in my old location ( North ). I’m not attached to it. It’s an investment . I also am legally bound to honor the renters lease another 2.5 months. I could bribe them for earlier but I would intend to let them finish their lease. I lived in it two of the 12 years I’ve owned it.
indiegirl
02-01-2021, 11:26 PM
Hehe. I had fun with my client. I’m so happy I’m having a nice guy
LoveyDovey
02-01-2021, 11:30 PM
Carmen as far as moving in together, I think it's wiser to take it slower if you guys have kids than otherwise. If I were childless, I'd say a year but I remember with one of my exes ( I have 1 kid, he has 3) I waited a lot longer.
carmen_b
02-01-2021, 11:35 PM
^ Just one kid ( his ) and nearly 50% custody .
The mom has slightly more custody but very slight .
I do still have vacancy at the AirBnBs often so it’s not a full move in.
Also not a full move in terms of stuff.
I brought a desk in a few weeks ago. It’s huge and it took him about 5 days to notice it was here.
He gave me a walk in closet and key forever ago. I don’t have other furniture I’m attached to.
Just thinking of what to do.
Thanks for your reply ! :)
LoveyDovey
02-01-2021, 11:54 PM
It's good to have your own space. Even when I was semi-moved in with my old old ex C and his kids, I still kept my apartment and it was nice when kiddo and I needed space away from them.
moneybags
02-02-2021, 12:44 AM
Just my humble opinion
Basic psychology is the pain vs. pleasure principle-humans are motivated to move away from pain and move toward pleasure. He for whatever reason associates pain with moving in together (why you’ll have to ask him) and pleasure with living separate (again you’ll have to ask him.) Basic human psychology is to make it more painful (by leaving the relationship), so he associates more pain with being alone than the pain of moving into together. So through conversation or consequences you’ll want to create more pain or more pleasure to get him motivated.
Again, I’d be pretty pissed and want to throw in the damn towel if I had to manipulate a guy into moving into together. But men sometimes need motivation to do the right thing, and sometimes manipulation is the only option women have..
This is a decent article on the pursuer and distancer dynamic which is pretty common in relationships.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.yourtango.com/2018314259/7-ways-break-out-pursuer-distancer-relationship%3famp
Hold on to yourself and Journal about it and see what comes up.
I hope that was helpful. Take what you like and leave the rest.
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indiegirl
02-02-2021, 01:06 AM
I feel like I need another grocery run. One roomie has not paid on time and I’m not pleased. I pay so much into this house compared to them.
They are there for the mortgage portion I split not the expensive bills I pay close to a grand for a month on top of my portion of mortgage.