View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
LoveyDovey
02-02-2021, 07:10 AM
Boyfriend reached out and apologized again and we made up. I can't help but be happy about it :-D!
carmen_b
02-02-2021, 07:13 AM
Money I love that.
We had an issue 2.5 months ago where he didn’t want me to stay the night when daughter was here more than just every now and then.
It was unacceptable to me. I wrote a letter to him.
His schedule back then was one week he’d have daughter 5 days and the next week 2 days. I would do 5 days of sleeping alone on those weeks and was just miserable for about 6-7 weeks! I couldn’t believe at 7-7.5 months he wasn’t slowing “ phasing “ me in. At that time I asked him to add 4 more nights a month of us all together. I was ready to walk away and offered a separation . He didn’t want that . It’s been fine ( one night a week roughly with us all here ) just like I thought it would !
^ I regret not getting counseling then . I don’t like things I see as issues to “ stick “. I want to move past them !
I have thought about it and it is probably as simple as it’s because HE is comfy. He is in this comfy house full time . I am the one awkwardly treking to be “ out “ of here two days a week to give them their alone evenings. I mind the treks much less when I go over to one of my properties ( the AirBnBs when they have unsold nights ). I seem to get upset when I go to the house with room mates ( my back up type space ). It’s a gorgeous home and they are nice people but it triggers “ blah “ feelings lately.
It just seems like a little much at this point. I’ve read a ton about the benefits of “ slow “ phase in with kids and we have done exactly that. We have been cautious and done everything right / exactly the way experts recommend. I have known her 9.5 months and him 10.5 months.
indiegirl
02-02-2021, 10:17 AM
I’m trying to be accommodating but I don’t have a butt plug (not do I like anal but for a price it is allowed if they aren’t big) and all I have is 1 set of nice lingerie with no bottoms bought from a customer after my mom went in my garage and threw out my high end lingerie. Ugh I hate these requests. Makes me angry at my mom. One cancelled yesterday I believe over not having thigh highs.
I don’t make that type of money to support all these things anymore. I’m working solo on the low end side and that’s that.
Like makin 4-10k a day to now making a couple hundred. I’m working daily.
carmen_b
02-02-2021, 11:03 AM
^ Tell them to bring requested item.
If you aren’t making good money it might be time to try other things. Sex work should pay well especially full service work.
After a time in an area customers can get “ done “ with certain people. In strip clubs too ! Also in massage ( after 2-3 years in a small island I had seen everyone and they had seen me lol ).
That’s why I suggested traveling just 2-3 hours away even.
You know your market. Just things gleaned from your posts!
whirlerz
02-02-2021, 11:13 AM
So, I wrote my former crush a note asking about the lights flickering (he's elect.), & the one dope who F'd the circuits (he's already talked to him)
Lol, now I feel weird & embarrassed:-[
Oh well:-\
LoveyDovey
02-02-2021, 11:57 AM
I’m trying to be accommodating but I don’t have a butt plug (not do I like anal but for a price it is allowed if they aren’t big) and all I have is 1 set of nice lingerie with no bottoms bought from a customer after my mom went in my garage and threw out my high end lingerie. Ugh I hate these requests. Makes me angry at my mom. One cancelled yesterday I believe over not having thigh highs.
I don’t make that type of money to support all these things anymore. I’m working solo on the low end side and that’s that.
Like makin 4-10k a day to now making a couple hundred. I’m working daily.
If they want you to wear something special, they should bring it. I can see how you'd be annoyed with these men.
carmen_b
02-02-2021, 12:39 PM
I talked to my mom.
She agrees. She feels the Airbnb vacancy here and there should be plenty of “ solo “ away from partner type time.
^ It’s unique ( and luxe ) to even have that as an option.
It’s been long enough.
She said she would definitely not pay for the room rental anymore considering length of time together past mid Feb ( where I’m paid up to ).
JGB2009
02-02-2021, 12:49 PM
I just blocked this guy on skype cause he kept messaging me when I was not around plus he wanted me to ride my dildo. Since I am sick, riding a damn dildo is not appealing to me at all so I blocked his ass. He seemed annoyed with me so wasn't gonna risk getting a bad review.
Elektra Luxx
02-02-2021, 02:44 PM
I just saw McDonald's guy and he gave me his number. I'm going to call him. More later.
I haven't called McDonald's guy. He wanted me to call him, but I can't bring myself to call him. I'm not sure why? I'm a little afraid.
carmen_b
02-02-2021, 03:50 PM
^ Ohhhh
Is this a friendship type connection ?
Possible Romance ( I remember you as taken lol ).
carmen_b
02-02-2021, 03:51 PM
Tarot Card today....
There is a feeling of something had started and then stopped.
There is a sense of happiness like you are making progress but something has scared you and you have stopped taking action. There is a block, possibly an emotional one. There is no movement at all. It is stagnant in this pile. You need to work on this emotional block and free yourself from your mind.
:/ ^^^^
I " scheduled " talking for tomorrow and sent the bullet points over email just now.
I can't really visualize myself setting up a home space separately from my partner I've been with this long.
We will have a conversation about it.
Even if I get what I'm asking I'm not sure it's a "win". I feel frustration.
indiegirl
02-02-2021, 05:39 PM
I'm petting mister needy dog with my foot as he starts his whine session to get on my bed....acting like he lives a hard life hahahaha. Then he'll stare at me from his bed like I've put him on death row. He takes over my bed and I need my space for a few hours.
moneybags
02-02-2021, 05:47 PM
Got done talking to my therapist today. I feel a lot better about Dr Douchebag . I’m trying to focus on self-love which isn’t the easiest right now, but I’m gonna try.
indiegirl
02-02-2021, 07:21 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdSLJnnRDN4
I love this youtube channel. I've always wondered what people who are doing your nails are saying in chinese while you're sitting there. LOL.
Elektra Luxx
02-02-2021, 10:11 PM
^ Ohhhh
Is this a friendship type connection ?
Possible Romance ( I remember you as taken lol ).
It's a friendship, but I don't want any misunderstandings.
indiegirl
02-02-2021, 11:15 PM
I finally killed the fly that's been in my room for days. Yuckyyy! I don't like bugs. I closed my eyes while I did it.
lynn2009
02-03-2021, 12:17 PM
I yelled at some poor idiot working for Comcast and now I feel like an asshole. But they've billed me before and sent me for collections after my service was supposed to be canceled so I was asking for an email confirmation they terminated service at my apartment. I had been told I would receive that when I called first on Monday.
carmen_b
02-03-2021, 07:41 PM
I want to try and keep an open mind and see a counselor with J.
It seemed so extreme to end it talking to him 15 minutes ago. I really feel so strongly that a move in type arrangement should be no big deal in 3 weeks. At that point it will be 11 months.
Have any of you left from an overall sense of not having the right “ pace “?
I wanted to pull plug if I got resistance to the idea and promised myself I would ( especially considering the Airbnb openings ... no one has that rare luxury ).
He made the counseling appt .
It’s seems odd to not at least go. ^
I worry he has under valued me and not sure counseling will help that since it’s huge.
moneybags
02-03-2021, 08:06 PM
^^^I hope counseling helps.
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-03-2021, 08:07 PM
Confession- I'm super irritated with my relatives. Crossing my fingers I don't get into phone arguments with them regarding all the ongoing drama.
indiegirl
02-03-2021, 08:42 PM
Confession- I'm super irritated with my relatives. Crossing my fingers I don't get into phone arguments with them regarding all the ongoing
drama.
Feel you. I'm on another month of being threatened they will sell MY house when I even called the mortgage company late pay/grace period. I was told "He (brother) is tired of the arguments over not paying" for February because one roomie didn't pay on time. I got angry saying "There has never been any arguments mom! I haven't spoken to him for months. This is you relaying information about how you feel." Interesting seeing someone's true BS as she sits in yet another home she never bought. My brother and I have hardly talked for so long because he's busy with what he cares about (his fiancee, job, and his dog) I even told her the grace period mortgage was due on the 16th. She kept saying no it is the 5th. I called immediately and I was correct with the grace period. "You're going to ruin his credit!" Howww? he hasn't had even 1 late pay on file for the 4 years I've been here? We're not all rolling in a pile of money for a living.
Dealing with family sucks!
carmen_b
02-03-2021, 08:52 PM
He made a good case for at least trying to stay together.
He feels strongly a counselor may help us narrow down some of these timing types of things or help us meet in the middle.
I felt 100% ready to walk *at the time* I was prepping the conversation.
Maybe this is like when you go hunting. Omg don’t look at the EYES lol.
It’s hard for me to really see it in other ways but maybe a few sessions will help.
It just doesn’t seem normal to not plan to live together at this time frame but I’ll at least go to sessions. I didn’t really fully express my upset because I honestly thought it would just “ naturally “ happen in late January. I thought he’d just offer.
^^^I hope counseling helps.
WendiStarr
02-04-2021, 02:17 PM
Vanilla job said that they will fix payment issue and that I should receive payment by next Wednesday. I sure hope they do. I've been putting forth minimum effort though while actively applying for other jobs because the payment error left me feeling salty towards them.
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-04-2021, 02:44 PM
Funny confession time- it's my birthday and I didn't plan on making a big deal out of it (because my dad is sick) ....However work gave me the day off so I bought cupcakes, ate early and am enjoying the day off. I was not feeling work this morning so it's a gift to be able to relax today.
With everything going on in the world today it would be needless and wrong to grump through a birthday. Yay. Another trip around the sun for me.
whirlerz
02-04-2021, 03:00 PM
Happy Bday Snuff!
indiegirl
02-04-2021, 03:13 PM
I yelled at some poor idiot working for Comcast and now I feel like an asshole. But they've billed me before and sent me for collections after my service was supposed to be canceled so I was asking for an email confirmation they terminated service at my apartment. I had been told I would receive that when I called first on Monday.
Girl don't worry! I think customer service has dealt with people who are upset and don't take it personally. That's like working lost baggage claim at an airport. It's bound to happen when someone's frustrated. My moms new husband* is the worst! Literally bellowing at the poor guy on the phone who's just trying to keep his job. My mom once told him to hang up. He's very passionate and that wasn't the first time in the past LOL.
Had one on black Friday when I worked at Abercrombie as a teen apologizing to a lady who was upset when I said we were sold out of an item and she stood on the table to take the (not for sale) shirt off the mannequin LOL.
Elektra Luxx
02-04-2021, 03:40 PM
Happy Birthday Snuffle!! ...and here's to many more trips sround the sun!
I hope your dad gets to feeling better.
charlie61
02-04-2021, 04:05 PM
I'd say that terminology and making specific requests is much more important than tone or volume if you're looking for a customer service rep to do something for you. Like, at my company, a customer can scream at a rep, but that won't get them anywhere. Whereas if a customer says, "can you waive this fee for me as a courtesy?" Then that's all they need to do to get a waiver. Or if the customer alleges something serious, whether in a calm or escalated voice, then that will get the company's attention. If you allege some kind of discrimination or intentional negligence on the company's part, for example, then at least where i work, we'll often go through great lengths to de-escalate the customer's allegations. It's just easier for us to reach a quick resolution by waiving a bunch of stuff than to have a customer out there who could potentially sue or whatever. You can also ask to speak to an escalations line / ask if they have a department that handles customer complaints. Just a few tips. ♡
Aurora_Sunset
02-04-2021, 04:14 PM
I'm starting to seriously consider that I may have bipolar disorder. It's not the first time I've had the thought. A week ago, I was literally so depressed that I was silently crying at work, couldn't stop the negative train of thoughts in my head, had absolutely no hope for the future, and literally wanted nothing more than to lie in bed all day because I had no energy and no motivation. I was almost borderline SI. The very next day after the worst of it, I felt strangely ok. This escalated quickly into me suddenly feeling productive, energized, and optimistic. For no real reason. The last few days, my mind races with the things I want to do, to the point where I can barely handle staying at work all day, because I'm so distracted and irritated that I have to be there instead of doing the productive things I want to be doing. I've also been really bad in the last week of spending money I don't really have on stupid shit.
I know I go through these cycles to the point where I cling to the highs and try to squeeze as much productivity out of them as possible, because I know that I will end up depressed and unproductive again later. I wish I had the money for a psychiatrist to talk to them about this.
charlie61
02-04-2021, 04:17 PM
^definitely sounds like bipolar type 2 (better than type 1!). Great insights. It can be so hard to see our own patterns. Could definitely explain your sleep issues, too.
charlie61
02-04-2021, 04:22 PM
I confess that i accidentally deleted a major thread earlier - i clicked on the wrong administrative action. Omg...my heart fell through my ass. Thank goodness we can reopen threads. I've never done that before.
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-04-2021, 04:22 PM
^definitely sounds like bipolar type 2 (better than type 1!). Great insights. It can be so hard to see our own patterns. Could definitely explain your sleep issues, too.
I agree. I have Bipolar 2. It got out of hand when I moved to a region that caused Seasonal Affective Disorder in me, and was aggravated by the stress of chronic illness.
Feel free to message me about it, I think I might have helpful advice.
charlie61
02-04-2021, 04:27 PM
I agree. I have Bipolar 2. It got out of hand when I moved to a region that caused Seasonal Affective Disorder in me, and was aggravated by the stress of chronic illness.
Feel free to message me about it, I think I might have helpful advice.
Yes!! My ex has it, and he HAD to move back to the southwest (i live in the PNW) due to our super dark winters and general lack of direct sunlight for most of the year. It was super triggering for his bipolar and struggles with addiction.
charlie61
02-04-2021, 04:39 PM
I think about the phrase "lurking titties" more than i should. Also, "money bags." Relatable.
LoveyDovey
02-04-2021, 05:25 PM
Happy Birthday Snuffle!
My ex from like 25 years ago texted me today to let me know that he had a sex dream about us.
moneybags
02-04-2021, 06:33 PM
Funny confession time- it's my birthday and I didn't plan on making a big deal out of it (because my dad is sick) ....However work gave me the day off so I bought cupcakes, ate early and am enjoying the day off. I was not feeling work this morning so it's a gift to be able to relax today.
With everything going on in the world today it would be needless and wrong to grump through a birthday. Yay. Another trip around the sun for me.
happy birthday
PhatGirlDynomite!!!
02-04-2021, 07:08 PM
Funny confession time- it's my birthday and I didn't plan on making a big deal out of it (because my dad is sick) ....However work gave me the day off so I bought cupcakes, ate early and am enjoying the day off. I was not feeling work this morning so it's a gift to be able to relax today.
With everything going on in the world today it would be needless and wrong to grump through a birthday. Yay. Another trip around the sun for me.
Happy Birthday girly! What kind of cupcakes were they?
chanzep
02-04-2021, 07:59 PM
Happy birthday Snuffle.
indiegirl
02-04-2021, 08:06 PM
I'm starting to seriously consider that I may have bipolar disorder. It's not the first time I've had the thought. A week ago, I was literally so depressed that I was silently crying at work, couldn't stop the negative train of thoughts in my head, had absolutely no hope for the future, and literally wanted nothing more than to lie in bed all day because I had no energy and no motivation. I was almost borderline SI. The very next day after the worst of it, I felt strangely ok. This escalated quickly into me suddenly feeling productive, energized, and optimistic. For no real reason. The last few days, my mind races with the things I want to do, to the point where I can barely handle staying at work all day, because I'm so distracted and irritated that I have to be there instead of doing the productive things I want to be doing. I've also been really bad in the last week of spending money I don't really have on stupid shit.
I know I go through these cycles to the point where I cling to the highs and try to squeeze as much productivity out of them as possible, because I know that I will end up depressed and unproductive again later. I wish I had the money for a psychiatrist to talk to them about this.
Be very careful with that diagnosis and seeking second opinion options. If you aren’t bipolar those meds are a trip to be on and a trip to come off of. There is a lot of misdiagnosis with bipolar and it’s awful coming off those meds along with the cocktail of meds they put you on to counteract the side effects.
indiegirl
02-05-2021, 12:03 AM
Round 2 of 4 customers trying to find a few more.
SnuffleUffleGrass
02-05-2021, 12:55 PM
Happy Birthday girly! What kind of cupcakes were they?
They had Galaxy style airbrush paint on the icing, and were chocolate cake.
indiegirl
02-06-2021, 01:24 PM
I was laughing at someone getting instant karma online in a youtube video and accidentally spilled an entire full glass of orange juice on me and my bed. Have to wait for that part of my bed to dry. The joke was on me. LOL
indiegirl
02-06-2021, 07:45 PM
Yesssss this first song is it for me when I'm trying to get pumped up before work. Bahaha. An oldie but a goodie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbIlNfc34pM
indiegirl
02-06-2021, 11:21 PM
^ Tell them to bring requested item.
If you aren’t making good money it might be time to try other things. Sex work should pay well especially full service work.
After a time in an area customers can get “ done “ with certain people. In strip clubs too ! Also in massage ( after 2-3 years in a small island I had seen everyone and they had seen me lol ).
That’s why I suggested traveling just 2-3 hours away even.
You know your market. Just things gleaned from your posts!
Oh yeah once they've seen you they mostly move on. It's hard with dogs and a driver. I don't want to spend money for a 2.5 hour drive to San Diego when it's slower than LA. Yet LA has the highest covid cases and I really don't know what to do. Cali is/always was a tough sale for me. Lots of new desperate girls/ kgirls/ russians/ or pornstars/ sugarbabies, ya know. The east coast is better. But I'm not movin' back over there. I'm trying to figure out other options or people with connections
WendiStarr
02-08-2021, 08:13 AM
I'm a worrier. I'm getting worried that it's day 3 of spotting. Never in my years of periods have I had spotting instead of my usual period. Normally the first 3 days are scary heavy. I get scared that everything is the big C again. Then I start worrying about it because I have my kids. If something happens to me, I don't want my kids going to foster care. I don't want to think about not being there for my kids. I need to try to stop thinking up the worst possible scenario. Maybe I'm going through menopause early or maybe breastfeeding has thrown my hormones way out of wack. If this spotting continues, I'll force myself to grow some lady balls and go to the gyno. Also, I'm dreading vanilla job today.
indiegirl
02-08-2021, 10:17 AM
I feel so bad. I overslept and never got a day use hotel and my customer showed me a photo of a bouquet of flowers, chocolate, stuffed animal, and wine he had for me. Grrrr I love it when people are nice. This is so my fault. I may be heading to do an outcall with him instead.
Aurora_Sunset
02-08-2021, 01:07 PM
I'm a worrier. I'm getting worried that it's day 3 of spotting. Never in my years of periods have I had spotting instead of my usual period. Normally the first 3 days are scary heavy. I get scared that everything is the big C again. Then I start worrying about it because I have my kids. If something happens to me, I don't want my kids going to foster care. I don't want to think about not being there for my kids. I need to try to stop thinking up the worst possible scenario. Maybe I'm going through menopause early or maybe breastfeeding has thrown my hormones way out of wack. If this spotting continues, I'll force myself to grow some lady balls and go to the gyno. Also, I'm dreading vanilla job today.
If it makes you feel any better, my period randomly changed to this as I got older. I used to go in super heavy from day 1. Now, I usually spot for a day, sometimes 2 before my full flow makes an arrival. Sometimes I'll even spot for a day, skip a day, and then finally start up. It's very strange. I'm not on any medications or had anything alter my body - it just started happening as I got into my 30s.
Aurora_Sunset
02-08-2021, 01:17 PM
I got high last night and decided I just HAD TO buy into this online 14-day hair growth challenge, where you learn better hair habits and make your own shampoo. It was only $25, but did I really need it? No. But... I have always wanted to take better care of my hair and skin (I am not naturally girly or ever had anyone teach me this stuff), so maybe it will be worth it. And since the fire damaged literally all of my hair and skin products, maybe this is a good time to start fresh and do it all right from the get-go.
indiegirl
02-08-2021, 01:33 PM
I had the most complimentary driver today. An older man who owns multiple houses and in the process of building a new one (dunno why he’s driving Lyft)? He was saying these things throughout the long ride “you have the most beautiful eyes...you are so pretty....you are so down to earth....I wish I could meet someone as nice as you and easy to get along with...I’m so glad I got to pick you up for a ride.”
Me in my head: mehhh I’m not that special but I’ll take it.” LOL. Feels nice when someone thinks great of you. Especially after that mega fight with my mom. Her: He’s selling the house because you aren’t paying on time! Me:trust me I can pay. Mom: oh and you said you weren’t doing that for a living how are you making it?
No winning with this woman. Lol. It feels like god sent that driver in to boost my happiness up after all the mean things she kept saying throughout the conversation.
lurkingtitties
02-08-2021, 02:09 PM
My biological clock has been ticking lately. I’m turning 33 next month and have been having negative feelings about myself recently...feeling like a failure for not having a family already, etc.
The guy I’ve been dating is totally family oriented/has even dropped hints about being open to having a kid together in the future, and yet the voice in my head says I should break up with him now otherwise he will waste my time and it will be too late when we inevitably break up in the future. Talk about self-sabotage...