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lurkingtitties
02-08-2021, 04:36 PM
I'm a worrier. I'm getting worried that it's day 3 of spotting. Never in my years of periods have I had spotting instead of my usual period. Normally the first 3 days are scary heavy. I get scared that everything is the big C again. Then I start worrying about it because I have my kids. If something happens to me, I don't want my kids going to foster care. I don't want to think about not being there for my kids. I need to try to stop thinking up the worst possible scenario. Maybe I'm going through menopause early or maybe breastfeeding has thrown my hormones way out of wack. If this spotting continues, I'll force myself to grow some lady balls and go to the gyno. Also, I'm dreading vanilla job today.

Wendi I can so relate. I have scar tissue down there from my cone biopsy and for the longest time I would panic every time I felt a twinge or discomfort in my pelvis. But I keep getting clean Paps so with time I was able to accept that those pains really are just from scarring. When was your last Pap? I try to remind myself that even if my HPV were to come back, it would have to start all over at grade 1. You most likely have time before it progresses to the big C. (if that’s even what’s causing your spotting, it might be something else!)

indiegirl
02-09-2021, 01:19 AM
I miss the show called ‘pimp my ride’ where they’d modify peoples cars based on what they liked. Remember one guy got a video game system in his car. I’d want an aquarium LOLLL. Could you imagine going on a date and he gets in your car seeing a fish tank lollll?

Also still can’t get over the fact I thought my client had a dildo and he was taking my temperature (for Covid) before the appointment hahahaha.

indiegirl
02-09-2021, 08:33 PM
UMMMM I started polite convo with this customer who I thought got me a bunch of nice items as gifts on a gray comforter....then I said "is later available?" yesterday he said he was going on a day trip to arizona then went on a 6 mile hike for 6 hours but is ready tomorrow. Fine, a little weird though. Then when he sends me the address tonight he says he's staying in the guest house. .........Guest House?! I checked the house out on zillow, it's not for rent/airbnb, there is no guest house, and the comforters are all white in the 3 bedroom house! He only has 1 review. I'm good and I'll be finding someone else.

He's now "staying a lil bit for work" and has is first review from 30 days ago?!.....HUH!?! You said you were here for only 2 days. LOLLLLLLL why don't I book my stay at the local jail while I'm at it because of you. Hell no!

indiegirl
02-10-2021, 05:37 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyX0twnnyHA

I think when Johnny Depp shows up in character to hospitals, make-a-wish, and even on the ride randomly at Disneyland it is the cutest thing!!
Apparently he is dropped from Disney now?? I thought he was given the ok after speaking with him in the past?

moneybags
02-10-2021, 02:33 PM
I hate that I pull people in and then push people away when they get too close. Im just overwhelmed with my personal problems, that I don’t have anything left to give right now. I don’t mean to hurt people. I just get scared when people get too close. It’s a pattern I’d like to work on, but I’m so overwhelmed with my life that working on my relationships is at the very bottom on my list. I have a big heart, but I suck at relationships.

LoveyDovey
02-10-2021, 02:41 PM
I recently reconnected with an old friend. She wanted to rekindle our friendship. I feel so guilty about not having the bandwidth to be a good friend. She’s an amazing person. I just feel so overwhelmed with trying to survive the pandemic that I don’t have the bandwidth for anyone else. It just sucks. I hate the a pull people in and then push people away. Im just overwhelmed with my personal problems, that I don’t have anything left to give at the end of the day. I don’t mean to hurt people. I just get scared when people get too close. It’s a pattern I’d like to work on, but I’m so overwhelmed with my life that working on my relationships is at the very bottom on my list. I know I shouldnt feel guilty for taking care of myself or being human, but I do. I wish I could let people in, but I just can’t right now. I wish I could.

Money, you have every right to set boundaries on others so that you can take care of yourself. You can't take care of everyone else if you yourself are feeling completely depleted. Make yourself a top priority and take good care of yourself, and I would just let your friend know that you totally mean to be a better friend, but you are overwhelmed at the moment and really just need to focus on self care so that eventually you can open yourself back up. A lot of people are this way, myself included. It's hard for me to let people in any more from being screwed over so much by people I should have been able to trust. Go easy on yourself and take good care of yourself and just ask your friend to be patient as you work through your personal issues. I'm sure she will understand. We all go through stuff, and this pandemic has been stressful to the point where it brings up old traumatic stuff that still needs healing. It'll be okay, just take care of you.

moneybags
02-10-2021, 04:02 PM
^^^^Thanks. I just need to focus on my self-care right now. I did explain to her what is going on, so as not to ghost her without an explanation.

LoveyDovey
02-10-2021, 05:28 PM
^^^^Thanks. I just need to focus on my self-care right now. I did explain to her what is going on, so as not to ghost her without an explanation.

That's good that you are prioritizing yourself and the fact that you reached out to her to explain shows that you value the relationship.

indiegirl
02-10-2021, 06:19 PM
Heading to FINALLY get edibles and then to my hotel hallelujah! Ran out of time last time and couldn't pick any up.

indiegirl
02-10-2021, 08:57 PM
I got three packets of edibles that will last me for so many months and relaxing at my hotel. Woohoo! Security didn’t like I entered with a backpack and checked on me when I entered..I keep my valuables in my backpack when I have a driver compared to the open bag in case the driver decides to steal something while I’m at the grocery store or a pit stop somewhere else.

indiegirl
02-10-2021, 09:12 PM
And the night has begun. This man has absolutely no reviews says his friend saw me and doesn’t have an account but has my phone number. *sigh* hopefully I find someone later tonight.

I’ve been playing music, on stripper web , and watching tv in the meantime :P

moneybags
02-11-2021, 02:28 AM
And the night has begun. This man has absolutely no reviews says his friend saw me and doesn’t have an account but has my phone number. *sigh* hopefully I find someone later tonight.

I’ve been playing music, on stripper web , and watching tv in the meantime :P

I feel you. Survival sex work sucks! I miss making a lot money! As soon as the vaccine comes out it will be boom times again. OMG...this awful! I’m so tired of working so hard for so little. Give me the vaccine!

indiegirl
02-11-2021, 06:08 AM
Sitting waiting for a second appointment before checkout and just thinking “man I hated the fact the guy I was working with in the past shamed me for always giving money to the homeless” he would say “at least I’m not giving my money to a bunch of addicts” It’s just a few bucks that’s enough for the dollar menu IMO at fast food.

It does not matter their predicament. Homeless people need to eat and it’s my money. If I have money on hand after an outcall I’d ask him to stop the car so I can give the homeless person money and now that I’m not working with him I don’t have to feel bad about doing it. lol!!

Some don’t even ask but when someone’s looking disheveled, wrapped in a blanket on a street corner and it’s cold obviously they’re not doing so good.

whirlerz
02-11-2021, 07:03 AM
Aw that's sweet of you! Do be careful, tho, there was a lady, she was in her car w/husband & daughter, she was in passenger side, she saw a lady on a corner, she called her over, opened her purse, all of a sudden, a man appeared, grabbed her purse, stabbed her in the chest, she later died.

Anyway, I almost had a heart attack, I was standing in kitchen, I was getting cereal, this thing runs out, I screamed! Thought at first it was a rat, it was roomie kid's hamster!

It ran behind fridge, I knocked on roomie's door, he came out, I told him, & we waited, he finally came out, roomie grabbed him.

Also, I left him a note to repay some $ he owes (like $20,, way more over time, rides given, all kinds of stuff) ::).
He said he can't get his car payment together so.. I tried tho.

indiegirl
02-11-2021, 11:08 PM
Aw that's sweet of you! Do be careful, tho, there was a lady, she was in her car w/husband & daughter, she was in passenger side, she saw a lady on a corner, she called her over, opened her purse, all of a sudden, a man appeared, grabbed her purse, stabbed her in the chest, she later died.

Anyway, I almost had a heart attack, I was standing in kitchen, I was getting cereal, this thing runs out, I screamed! Thought at first it was a rat, it was roomie kid's hamster!

It ran behind fridge, I knocked on roomie's door, he came out, I told him, & we waited, he finally came out, roomie grabbed him.

Also, I left him a note to repay some $ he owes (like $20,, way more over time, rides given, all kinds of stuff) ::).
He said he can't get his car payment together so.. I tried tho.

Hamster was just taking himself for a morning jog around the place hahaha. Totally get the freak out. I'm nervous of mice/rats.

LoveyDovey
02-12-2021, 12:37 AM
Not shockingly, but the place I'm about to move out of had a mouse problem, which is one of the main reasons why I'm bailing on this place. Three more days! Three more days...

JGB2009
02-12-2021, 11:29 AM
Last year for two months I told you I quit camming. Well I went back to doing it and I never told you any differently. Today you confessed that you had a problem with me doing it. Welp guess I wont be telling you any differently. Oh well.

indiegirl
02-12-2021, 05:32 PM
I have this pain on the top of my head still. Hurts if I cough, laugh, or bend over. I googled it and one thing came up about having a brain tumor. UGHHH I need to stay off self-diagnosing. Started thinking "well if I don't go to the doctor it's not happening." I've done this before with head pain.

moneybags
02-12-2021, 05:37 PM
I have this pain on the top of my head still. Hurts if I cough, laugh, or bend over. I googled it and one thing came up about having a brain tumor. UGHHH I need to stay off self-diagnosing. Started thinking "well if I don't go to the doctor it's not happening." I've done this before with head pain.

Probably nothing. I freak out all the time over little things

indiegirl
02-12-2021, 05:52 PM
Probably nothing. I freak out all the time over little things

I hate when I do it! LOL I can't remember the number of times I've thought I've had something serious and then it went away lol. I'm trying to remind myself that right now LOL.

moneybags
02-13-2021, 12:14 AM
I hate when I do it! LOL I can't remember the number of times I've thought I've had something serious and then it went away lol. I'm trying to remind myself that right now LOL.

I’ve had several lumps and I always go to the doctor. It’s never anything. Bodies are weird. As long as you don’t have other symptoms it’s probably nothing. If it persists for a few months might be worth looking into.

indiegirl
02-13-2021, 01:22 AM
I’ve had several lumps and I always go to the doctor. It’s never anything. Bodies are weird. As long as you don’t have other symptoms it’s probably nothing. If it persists for a few months might be worth looking into.

my first accidental yanked my microbead hair extension pulling it out during sex (nobody can do it now) it turned into a complete webmd search convinced I was growing a tumor looking up signs and treatment.

the stories I have haha. I heard of organic carrot juice and all this crap/ taking baking soda and molasses. Maybe I’m a hypochondriac. I love to scare myself hahah

indiegirl
02-13-2021, 08:00 AM
Customer left early that I’ve seen in the past after scheduling 2 hours.

Him: Are you on hard drugs because nobody is up at this hour (meanwhile he is the one on crack hahaha) No recollection of this guy.
Me in Reality: I have bills monthly...ya know, so I don’t live in a park?! Bahahaha. I said I liked weed and the booze.

My response: I’m too much of a cheapskate to afford a hard substance habit haha.


I’m starting to realize a few things about the late night guys on weekends. He came in complaining how cold it was. It’s a normal temperature?

indiegirl
02-13-2021, 08:59 AM
I have lower left quadrant pain bahahaha. (Forgot if it’s the correct term but I feel like I have been panicking over everything nowadays. :(!!! Even when I have back pain related to my scoliosis “is this Corona virus starting up to kill me?!” Or nasal congestion: okay they said something about onset of no smell?

I’m Havin’ a blast over here on google. Jesus! I’m officially quarantining myself from google.

Last customer before heading home soon!

Genoveve
02-13-2021, 11:21 AM
I have this pain on the top of my head still. Hurts if I cough, laugh, or bend over. I googled it and one thing came up about having a brain tumor. UGHHH I need to stay off self-diagnosing. Started thinking "well if I don't go to the doctor it's not happening." I've done this before with head pain.

My headaches are always like this, at the top of my skull and mostly only felt when bending over and moving around.

WendiStarr
02-14-2021, 06:09 PM
Both my kids didn't finish their ice cream so I ended up eating it.

indiegirl
02-14-2021, 07:08 PM
Both my kids didn't finish their ice cream so I ended up eating it.

The best is when you secretly hope everything isn't finished that someone eats so you can ask for the leftovers lol.

indiegirl
02-15-2021, 07:33 AM
My headaches are always like this, at the top of my skull and mostly only felt when bending over and moving around.

the pain is officially gone after a few days of having it. I’m cured lol. Preparing to brace and scare myself with a new ache. To be honest, I had jaw pain this morning thinking it was something severe and frequently kept checking if it was still there or for a lump. Seems I have chronic tumors and cancer forming due to webmd. Then I check online with google for “joint pain and coronavirus” thinking I have it or just anything basically. To myself: No bitch, you haven’t been to the gym in over a year that’s why it hurts to stretch that far! Maybe these reviews are right, I’m crazy lollllll

moneybags
02-15-2021, 10:15 AM
My trainer’s college aged son sent me an FB request. Nope! He probably saw me posing with his dad and he probably thinks I’m younger than I actually am. If he wasn’t my trainer’s son maybe, but my trainer would never forgive me for corrupting his son since they are conservative and religious.

carmen_b
02-15-2021, 11:30 AM
I think my struggles with monogamy are going hand in hand with being agitated with my partner.

I had a masterbation-athon last night lol fantasizing about these other two partners I had ( my little subbie J and my desert lover Mr. Tall ).

Ok .... to explain the fascination .... Mr. Tall loves to "eat" lol. It's like his favorite thing on the planet. He lives for it haha. I saw him like three times and that is all we did ( get me off until I couldn't take him anymore ). I think it wasn't until the 4th time that I even touched him. THAT is service.

Then of course I felt guilty lol.

Anyway .... back to your regular programing.

indiegirl
02-15-2021, 12:13 PM
Laughed the hell out loud after contacting downstairs to do an extended stay and when I was in the process of paying the price raised 45 bucks. *sigh*. Have to rush home and feed the dogs at some point for a double feed. Frustrating.

lynn2009
02-15-2021, 04:51 PM
I've been feeling pretty teary all day.

carmen_b
02-15-2021, 08:57 PM
Aw !!! :( ^^^

carmen_b
02-15-2021, 08:58 PM
I’m 99% sure it was former sugar daddy spying on my FB.
I wished him a happy valentines and he wrote back that he hoped I was with someone special who was treating me well.
:/ I wish I knew for if he was my spy lol.
Actually I don’t care anymore haha. I just can’t believe he cracked my FB wall ( the spy was fake pictures of a very good looking man lol ).

Maybe it was my current partner but he seems too busy to do anything like this hahahaha.

moneybags
02-15-2021, 11:55 PM
I haven’t just been kissing frogs.......I’ve been banging then....lol. Story of my life. Judith Lucy

WendiStarr
02-16-2021, 10:23 AM
I'm feeling one of the lowest moods I've felt in a long time today.

indiegirl
02-16-2021, 11:58 AM
I cannot wait to get home. I’m feeling so nauseous and my stomach hurts. I hate being on my period.

indiegirl
02-17-2021, 08:32 PM
I hate sucking dick but in my head I turn it into a forearm exercise or if they are taking too long in bed my legs get a nice exercise on top . I’ve been recently counting it out in my head like I’m at the gym haha. “1,2,3,4” along with the music haha.

Also I move forward with my attorney for nursing school clearance next month :).

moneybags
02-17-2021, 11:40 PM
Also I move forward with my attorney for nursing school clearance next month :).

Attorney is that because of the DUI? Glad you found a remedy. Are you doing public or private? I’m still deciding. Good luck.

My confession is I’m quarantine thick. I need to lose weight. Although my injury is why I’m so thick. I don’t look bad, but damn am I thick! I’m going to start counting macros.

indiegirl
02-18-2021, 12:04 AM
Attorney is that because of the DUI? Glad you found a remedy. Are you doing public or private? I’m still deciding. Good luck.

My confession is I’m quarantine thick. I need to lose weight. Although my injury is why I’m so thick. I don’t look bad, but damn am I thick! I’m going to start counting macros.

it’s the 4 charges related to 2 DUI’s. I can’t wait another year for Covid to go away. I keep going back and forth with what to do knowing not to go. I’m not sure what to do but I’m sick of waiting and working entertainment for now. If the judge removes my probation I’m doing the LVN program. I get experiencing coronavirus with family having it, but I can’t just hide at home, hotels, and grocery stores for years until this decides to go away. I dunno. Maybe it’s time to risk it? I never had it but ya know.

Haha yeah that quarantine weight is never fun! It’ll drop off when things go back to normal

whirlerz
02-18-2021, 12:07 AM
I'm feeling one of the lowest moods I've felt in a long time today.


Aw. I sure hope you feel much better soon, my Wendi!
Hugs

indiegirl
02-18-2021, 12:18 AM
it’s the 4 charges related to 2 DUI’s. I can’t wait another year for Covid to go away. I keep going back and forth with what to do knowing not to go. I’m not sure what to do but I’m sick of waiting and working entertainment for now. If the judge removes my probation I’m doing the LVN program. I get experiencing coronavirus with family having it, but I can’t just hide at home, hotels, and grocery stores for years until this decides to go away. I dunno. Maybe it’s time to risk it?

Haha yeah that quarantine weight is never fun! It’ll drop off when things go back to normal

I only have done 2 private attorneys or my father representing me in the past. I need to hire someone who has an expertise
in nursing law or him to guide me elsewhere. Hence work mode lol :P. Gotta save!

moneybags
02-18-2021, 01:01 AM
it’s the 4 charges related to 2 DUI’s. I can’t wait another year for Covid to go away. I keep going back and forth with what to do knowing not to go. I’m not sure what to do but I’m sick of waiting and working entertainment for now. If the judge removes my probation I’m doing the LVN program. I get experiencing coronavirus with family having it, but I can’t just hide at home, hotels, and grocery stores for years until this decides to go away. I dunno. Maybe it’s time to risk it? I never had it but ya know.

Haha yeah that quarantine weight is never fun! It’ll drop off when things go back to normal


coronavirus isn’t going away. It will be endemic and less deadly though. Colds are a coronavirus. My friend has long haulers and that’s what scares me is getting long haulers. There’s many virus that circulate that if people have an over active immune system can cause problems. Masks and social distancing might be the new normal, or eventually it’ll become so mild it’ll be like the common cold. We were able to get rid of smallpox because it doesn’t have an animal reservoir. You could really go down the rabbit hole with diseases. Diseases are a fact of life. As a future nurse, I’ll be exposed to something eventually. I take precautions and do what the CDC says, but I’m not going to stop living my life. I am waiting for the vaccine before I participate in riskier activities. This is one giant experiment. Everything is at your own risk. I’m trusting my intuition on what I should do. https://www.npr.org/2020/08/09/900490301/covid-19-may-never-go-away-with-or-without-a-vaccine

Survival sex work sucks. As there’s more income inequality I think more females will turn to sex work driving down the price. I’ll cam until I finish school. I’m taking a year off to pay off debt and save money. I’m ready to move on. The only reason to do SW is money. It’s not worth it anymore for me if the money is meh.

you might want to call cupcake girls and see if they have any resources. Probably help you for free.

indiegirl
02-18-2021, 08:45 AM
coronavirus isn’t going away. It will be endemic and less deadly though. Colds are a coronavirus. My friend has long haulers and that’s what scares me is getting long haulers. There’s many virus that circulate that if people have an over active immune system can cause problems. Masks and social distancing might be the new normal, or eventually it’ll become so mild it’ll be like the common cold. We were able to get rid of smallpox because it doesn’t have an animal reservoir. You could really go down the rabbit hole with diseases. Diseases are a fact of life. As a future nurse, I’ll be exposed to something eventually. I take precautions and do what the CDC says, but I’m not going to stop living my life. I am waiting for the vaccine before I participate in riskier activities. This is one giant experiment. Everything is at your own risk. I’m trusting my intuition on what I should do. https://www.npr.org/2020/08/09/900490301/covid-19-may-never-go-away-with-or-without-a-vaccine

Survival sex work sucks. As there’s more income inequality I think more females will turn to sex work driving down the price. I’ll cam until I finish school. I’m taking a year off to pay off debt and save money. I’m ready to move on. The only reason to do SW is money. It’s not worth it anymore for me if the money is meh.

you might want to call cupcake girls and see if they have any resources. Probably help you for free.

Yeah I think risking doing those classes is what’s gonna have to happen. It doesn’t feel like Covid has plans of leaving.

There are the good and bad days money-wise in SW (I’m at 900 for today and trying to make more or consider another day if it’s better.) It’s better than normal but I have worn my welcome out in California so badly! Most I’ve already seen and on different platforms. Dunno why it was better yesterday. Have one so far for this morning. I just want to get on moving with a new chapter in my life. The whole Kids, husband, and a tame job sounds so appealing lol.

indiegirl
02-18-2021, 10:49 AM
I don’t own any lipstick or lipgloss and I was requested to wear it. I go for the natural lip look so I’m mixing lip balm with a bronzy eyeshadow lol.

Also some woman has had her kid screaming loudly from her room for an hour and a half. Not attending to it. Sounded like a Pomeranian for a while or someone dying. Couldn’t figure it out? Anyways she’s about to get her own version of BS to hear moaning for an hour. Like do something with your kid, lady. Maybe I’m ignorant to child care but that’s too long. You only have 1 child it’s not like you’re busy for that length of time. Geeez. I just endured another family fighting in another room last night.

indiegirl
02-19-2021, 03:14 AM
Told one my customers I was trying to become a nurse and he said "That's great. Are you going to be a real nurse or one of those LVN's?" .....bahahaha I was so embarrassed.

xxxGothBarbie
02-19-2021, 06:19 PM
I hate spending money on food lol
Secretly wishing I'd just learn to eat like a bird.

miss.a.p1600
02-19-2021, 06:37 PM
I wish I could have a threesome. With 2 dudes. One eating my pussy while the other sucks in my breasts. No penetration. And when I have an orgasm I can just leave. They can worry about pleasing themselves on their own time or pleasing me IS pleasure for them. Lol!

carmen_b
02-19-2021, 06:57 PM
^ Oh you could totally make it happen.

Hot hot hot.

LoveyDovey
02-19-2021, 08:25 PM
That would be hot!