View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
indiegirl
03-20-2021, 03:07 PM
This bitch is back in business, my new diffuser arrived and is working well. Part of me wants both of them going at the same time so I can hotbox my room with patchouli oil! I'm content right now bahaha. Hopefully I can fix the previous diffuser (I read the instructions this time). haha.
SnuffleUffleGrass
03-21-2021, 12:52 PM
Confession- I've allowed the pandemic to get me ruminating on depressing things. I burst into a crying fit when looking at photos of a couple old friends who aren't alive anymore. I think when we think too much about how stupidly random and cruel Fate can be, it makes us sick.
I really have to push myself to not let my mind go to bad places, even though it's easy in isolation.
JGB2009
03-21-2021, 02:33 PM
I worked out today on my treadmill while wearing my house slippers.
Aurora_Sunset
03-21-2021, 03:01 PM
A part of me does not like DST. I would prefer more sunlight in the morning than the evening. When I work days, I would rather the sun start setting around dinnertime so my body can wind down for an early bedtime. When I work nights, I hate going to work while the sun is still up and feeling like I'm missing out on the daytime.
SnuffleUffleGrass
03-22-2021, 06:49 AM
Fucked up confession-
an old friend of mine is in the hospital and I'm struggling to care. She has some pretty severe mental issues and can be toxic and mean, so I have not really talked to her much in the past few years.
Her mom emailed me to tell me about her illness.
I'm going to be real here and just pass along well wishes via her mom. I don't know what else to do. Her illness is severe enough that she might die (she's looking at a long hospitalization.) But I just can't be bothered to get all emotional. Fuck, I've got my own struggles.
Weirder yet I gotta pass the info along at some point. I hate sounding indifferent, but this news is not rocking my world. So it goes.
indiegirl
03-22-2021, 06:54 AM
Fucked up confession-
an old friend of mine is in the hospital and I'm struggling to care. She has some pretty severe mental issues and can be toxic and mean, so I have not really talked to her much in the past few years.
Her mom emailed me to tell me about her illness.
I'm going to be real here and just pass along well wishes via her mom. I don't know what else to do. Her illness is severe enough that she might die (she's looking at a long hospitalization.) But I just can't be bothered to get all emotional. Fuck, I've got my own struggles.
Weirder yet I gotta pass the info along at some point. I hate sounding indifferent, but this news is not rocking my world. So it goes.
It's super awkward when it's hard to care...or worse pretending when they aren't a good person nor ever apologized for anything they've done. I feel less guilty when I send flowers for things like that lol.
SnuffleUffleGrass
03-22-2021, 06:59 AM
It's super awkward when it's hard to care...or worse pretending because they aren't a good person. I feel less guilty when I send flowers for things like that lol.
She's not even worth flowers.
I know I sound harsh, but my old friend is just really super mentally ill to the point of being non-functional in real life. I also kind of wonder if she poisoned herself and that's how she ended up in the hospital. (Keep in mind I don't judge suicide attempts.)
I just don't have the energy to care about her issues. Yesterday I was thinking a lot about someone we both knew who is now sadly dead....I mean, why should I get all worked up over someone who is letting her life pass her by, when our old friend J. doesn't get to wake up every day?
I'm trying to not be too morbid. Ugh well f this, I'm going to go live my life and do my daily responsible adult things.
carmen_b
03-22-2021, 08:48 AM
We were sitting at a large circular fireplace in the bar and this man asked to sit near. I thought he was glad to have conversation with someone outside his household haha. We were too ! Then he started in on the compliments like " that dress is beautiful " and " omg she is gorgeous I'd love to be YOU for just a night " .
We both got " that vibe " lol so much so that J needed to remind me of his desire for no sword crossing.
J knows I have a fantasy for a " watcher " in the room . I had to point out that I did NOT facilitate this in any way haha !
I have to say it was just nice to be complimented SO heavily and have J see me that way ( desireable to others ) because as much as we tried to keep things hot in quarantine you can only do so much! I really feel with men too that nothing lights their fire like that " competition " type of spirit.
We didn't invite him back to the room we just excused ourselves and went and banged in the room by the fireplace there.
I will stop the story details there to protect the innocent lol .
Can you elaborate?
lurkingtitties
03-22-2021, 11:54 AM
I've been eating like shit and not working out enough the last couple weeks. I'm starting to feel pudgy. Also just generally feeling yucky on the inside the way you do when your diet sucks!
This isn't like me at all but I'm trying to be gentle on myself after everything I went through recently. Once I pack up my shit and relocate at the end of the month I'll get back on the path of righteousness. Looking forward to it.
indiegirl
03-23-2021, 06:26 AM
This B is up early lol. 2 more appointments and I'm set to nap it out at home! Met a male nurse last night. :) .
miss.a.p1600
03-23-2021, 07:59 AM
Since I can’t procure any weed rn I’ve been relegated to some supplements to help me improve my mood.
Took 2 of these 5htp pills
I hope it works cause I feel blah af rn
carmen_b
03-23-2021, 09:25 AM
Is it unethical to not tell my partner I moved out of that rented room ? It brought my cost for March closer to $250 ( only needing the hotel 5 nights ) v.s. $500.
I wonder if I did the wrong thing. :/
My financing is almost in place anyway to buy here .
The 5 days a week thing bothers me less lately but it still crops up here and there. Three weeks ago I felt sure I wanted to leave the relationship if we didn’t go to 6 days ( sleeping next to each other ) a week . Lately it’s seemed fine.
I must have some guilt or this wouldn’t be on my mind today.
I had one more night free up in AirBnB. I only needed a hotel 4 nights.
$200 flat for March.
I guess we both got what we wanted in a way ? I'm here 5 nights a week now which feels good and substantial and he knows I won't be here the evenings of " transition " ( Sun and Tues ) when his daughter moves between the homes. I have sort of embraced it and do the self care thing really well on those nights ! About 30 days ago it felt REALLY hard to not be here 6 nights a week. It is just something I have never done with a longer term partner. I talked to my friend about it and she helped me see the benefits of not being up each others asses all the time haha. She is the one who won't move in with bf because he has family living with him so she lives alone .
It seems like a peaceful time for us. Hopefully he won't run into my former room mates anywhere. He isn't connected to them on social media or anything.
I am approved for the refinance of the house up North ( cash out option to move half equity out and buy 2nd home South ).
^ I just didn't want to rush that . I want to take my time looking WHILE not spending $500 for a room haha.
It's working *for now* anyway. A month ago I felt pretty sure if we didn't sleep by each other 6 days a week I was done but decided to just try to lighten up on it and see how it felt.
carmen_b
03-23-2021, 04:40 PM
^ Eh whatever .
He should let me stay 6 days a week anyway. It’s been almost a year.
:/ Less guilt after my report about it a few hours ago haha.
I know at some level I feel stress or I wouldn’t post about it.
I’ll just take the bonus $300 and find something to do.
If I get caught maybe I'll just fess up and mention I didn't want to cause stress ( which I don't ) !
carmen_b
03-23-2021, 04:44 PM
^ I noticed some bonuses though .
Less ambient noise In hotel room vs that home ( it was difficult audio wise even though room mates were nice ).
I also don’t feel a sense of waste doing a quick run to the larger city near me ( staying 1-2 nights with friends there and I put them up here at the AirBnBs ).
PLUS a month ago I did offer to do the 6 days a week type of thing starting in March AND give him the $500 a month ( or put that into an account for future travel for us ).
Actually after thinking about it I'll probably just mention this change to him in a week or two.
Part of the reason I did this was I wrapping my real estate classes and just didn't have time to look for another room or the emotional energy to meet new people.
miss.a.p1600
03-23-2021, 06:54 PM
I hate using public multi-stall restrooms because it grosses me out to hear other people pissing n smelling their stank poops n farts.
miss.a.p1600
03-24-2021, 06:28 AM
Sometimes I have to hide my food from other people cause I don’t want them thinking “why you ain’t offer me any?”
Well mf, why you ain’t offer me any money to buy it for you???
indiegirl
03-24-2021, 01:44 PM
I'm taking 1-3 days off. I feel content today lol.
indiegirl
03-25-2021, 05:10 AM
https://www.youtube.com/c/SoftWhiteUnderbelly/videos
I like watching this above YT channel to scare the shit out of myself (motivate me) so I don't end up in this job forever listening to where this could lead me in the uncertain future and be productive. I got so much accomplished this morning applying to other nursing programs online and things on my to do list, chores, cleaning my room. (One program was recommended by the nurse customer). Still have more errands to run when businesses open later this morning.
miss.a.p1600
03-25-2021, 06:17 AM
One of the ladies suggested I meet with a therapist. Which I did - once. It made me realize that I most likely need to factor a therapist AND life coach in my budget.
I can’t get where I want trying to figure everything out myself. And I need someone supportive to hold me accountable.
miss.a.p1600
03-25-2021, 06:18 AM
I'm taking 1-3 days off. I feel content today lol.
i took a damn week off.
too long
but now I’m back to the hustle
WendiStarr
03-25-2021, 06:55 AM
I'm so tired of these sext and cam sites, waiting to hit minimum payout thresholds before I can get paid, waiting until a certain day to get paid, waiting to get serious paying custies while dealing with endless freeloaders who waste the little precious free time that I have to make $ as a single mom with no support system or anyone to help me at all with childcare. I started posting new content on my OF again but so far, it's only getting freeloaders begging for free nudes. As much as I hated dealing with weeding out timewasters and assholes with fbsm and escorting, at least I had cash in hand afterwards. No waiting to get the money that I earned. Sometimes I think about the good nights when I left with $800+ and I think, "Damn, if I could do that again I could definitely afford a babysitter".
charlie61
03-25-2021, 01:16 PM
Thinking about getting forward helix piercings on both ears.
moneybags
03-25-2021, 05:25 PM
One of the ladies suggested I meet with a therapist. Which I did - once. It made me realize that I most likely need to factor a therapist AND life coach in my budget.
I can’t get where I want trying to figure everything out myself. And I need someone supportive to hold me accountable.
great awareness!
pineapple support is great! They did a workshop last week we have meetings every Monday
I shaved part of my eyebrow off. I was using one of those brow shaving tools...oppsie
indiegirl
03-26-2021, 06:42 AM
https://i.ibb.co/PcPq4jN/IMG-3240-1.jpg (https://ibb.co/PcPq4jN)
I confess I stood staring 3 times like a proud mom at my cleaning work in my living room this early morning. I confess, I'm 98% the only person cleaning anything in the house and I would know that because the floors have been dirty with dog hair (cringe) for 4 months since I'm busy doing everything else around the house. I did both wood cleaner and a layer of polish on the floor. Look at it shine!
indiegirl
03-26-2021, 11:41 AM
https://i.ibb.co/PcPq4jN/IMG-3240-1.jpg (https://ibb.co/PcPq4jN)
I confess I stood staring 3 times like a proud mom at my cleaning work in my living room this early morning. I confess, I'm 98% the only person cleaning anything in the house and I would know that because the floors have been dirty with dog hair (cringe) for 4 months since I'm busy doing everything else around the house. I did both wood cleaner and a layer of polish on the floor. Look at it shine!
The worst part was I even went through the front door and opened it so I can view my accomplishments entering the house. Girl that long dog hair was out of control.
indiegirl
03-27-2021, 10:41 AM
Hilarious when men think their info is so important that they can't provide it over email for my safety. Hunny I've had random high profile people over time willingly give me information for my safety over the years while on tour. *eyeroll*
Then this random guy who is probably a realtor acting defensive over nothing. He talked about how he can show his ID upon arrival. Bitch no.
JGB2009
03-27-2021, 12:35 PM
Since I can’t procure any weed rn I’ve been relegated to some supplements to help me improve my mood.
Took 2 of these 5htp pills
I hope it works cause I feel blah af rn
Did it end up working?
indiegirl
03-28-2021, 02:19 AM
I figured out how to deposit the bitcoin payment on my own finally and it's nothing like the directions the man who wrote it posted on the website. LOL.
miss.a.p1600
03-28-2021, 07:25 AM
Did it end up working?
not right off the bat.
it’s only 200mg a day. I believe the max recommended daily dose is 300-400mg
i think it’s something that has to be taken for a couple weeks to see the effects. So I’ll keep taking it to see for sure. It’s supposed to be a natural alternative to antidepressant as it helps boost serotonin
indiegirl
03-28-2021, 07:36 AM
https://i.ibb.co/CJxnNTZ/IMG-3254.jpg (https://ibb.co/CJxnNTZ)
Nugget is loving his new blanket.
Aurora_Sunset
03-28-2021, 07:30 PM
I thought about trying to contact a different advisor at the university, but then had a conversation with a friend today where I told her about possibly trying to go back to school for computer science. She told me about how when she was in college, she had taken a class on networking and she thought it was super interesting, but she also really didn't get it and got super confused and it was the only class where she bombed the final and ended up with a low B.
I don't really have any sort of computer science background. I like to think of myself as smart, but I keep worrying, what if I go through all this trouble to go back to school, get there, and realize I suck at it? The most I've ever done is try to teach myself basic coding and programming, but I never got super far before I fell away from it. It was hard to stay motivated when I was just teaching myself, so maybe a structured class would be different, but what if it isn't? I don't want to fail because I'm not smart enough to do it.
moneybags
03-28-2021, 07:55 PM
^^^i took a coding class. I passed, but I hated it. I’m not particularly good at science (I’m a philosopher at heart, but how does philosophy pay the bills?) The hard science classes were easier knowing I would be gainfully employed. It helped me become more interested in science. I couldn’t have done it when I was younger.
indiegirl
03-28-2021, 09:38 PM
I upped my price 100 bucks after that encounter tonight. A previous customer who stealthed me acted shocked and said if he was grandfathered in. NO. I'm trying to weed out bad people like you!
indiegirl
03-28-2021, 10:44 PM
OKAY....I just fucked one of those strip club taco truck guys. Lol nice guy. He was so scared since it was his first time. Super nice guy
indiegirl
03-29-2021, 05:53 PM
I absolutely don't understand TikTok-ers becoming famous over 10 second videos of them dancing.
chanzep
03-29-2021, 06:02 PM
I couldn't be bothered with the gym today just sat down with tea and cake. Every Monday I'm so tired going back to a early schedule.
indiegirl
03-30-2021, 06:21 AM
Customer said I should amp my price back up to 700-800 per hour (my past price on TER) that I saw recently.. I'm nervous to try it. OC was always a difficult sale for me from the beginning since TER is more LA dominant than OC.. I'm at 500/hr and contemplating 600. Or considering 700 an hour? I'm not sure. I've been busy enough where people have seen my price increase and still contacting me (have 20 unanswered messages still from yesterday minus the phone calls. I need a break to sleep too from responding). One guy I saw last week called me 5 times yesterday with 3 texts to meet. Maybe I should up the price again?
I dunno maybe sticking at what it is now is good for now?
GlamLifter
03-30-2021, 07:39 AM
I confess I have a huge crush on my PT :blush:
Genoveve
03-30-2021, 09:23 AM
I couldn't be bothered with the gym today just sat down with tea and cake. Every Monday I'm so tired going back to a early schedule.
That sounds very English of you LOL.
54527
WendiStarr
03-30-2021, 10:45 AM
I feel like I'd be relieved to go back to an in-person job. I love my kids but this pandemic and being a stay at home mom 24/7 while trying to cam during nap time and bedtime is becoming increasingly difficult and exhausting. Pre-covid my oldest went to school and I could work for as long as I wanted to until she came home. I used to have me time to recharge. I feel like my personal battery has been running on 1 bar for the past 14 months. I need help! I'm not superwoman as much as I've tried to be.
LoveyDovey
03-30-2021, 12:36 PM
I couldn't be bothered with the gym today just sat down with tea and cake. Every Monday I'm so tired going back to a early schedule.
Tea and cake sounds so nice.
indiegirl
03-30-2021, 01:03 PM
Tea and cake sounds so nice.
Sounds like a meal I'd get dressed up for LOL. Sounds fancy. Yum!
carmen_b
03-30-2021, 02:35 PM
Mmm
Cake
I confess I tried to buy a donut after the gym lol.
I was happy later the shop was closed.
charlie61
03-30-2021, 04:54 PM
Customer said I should amp my price back up to 700-800 per hour (my past price on TER) that I saw recently.. I'm nervous to try it. OC was always a difficult sale for me from the beginning since TER is more LA dominant than OC.. I'm at 500/hr and contemplating 600. Or considering 700 an hour? I'm not sure. I've been busy enough where people have seen my price increase and still contacting me (have 20 unanswered messages still from yesterday minus the phone calls. I need a break to sleep too from responding). One guy I saw last week called me 5 times yesterday with 3 texts to meet. Maybe I should up the price again?
I dunno maybe sticking at what it is now is good for now?
I'd think some guys would specifically look for women who charge more, since there's probably a belief that those are lower-volume providers who take better care of themselves (i know that's not the case, necessarily, but i bet some guys believe that, whether consciously or subconsciously).
indiegirl
03-30-2021, 08:15 PM
I'd think some guys would specifically look for women who charge more, since there's probably a belief that those are lower-volume providers who take better care of themselves (i know that's not the case, necessarily, but i bet some guys believe that, whether consciously or subconsciously).
Yeah I think this a safer price for now? I don't want to jump ahead and screw up.
On a sidenote LOLLLLLLL....I feel like I've robbed a jewelry store (I've stayed WAYYYY past my day use time in this hotel. I'm trying to see how long until they call me to leave. One time it was until 6am LOL!!) Living on the edge :P haha! I legit napped for 5 hours. I barely got sleep but I'm up now.
I accidentally napped through an appointment and I'm embarrassed. I made it to the point I gave him the room number in advance. Ughh I feel so bad.
indiegirl
03-30-2021, 09:15 PM
This man has contacted me 6 times today via phone (not including his texts) and finally gave him my hotel and he went silent. MKKKK? Just confirm. I always get ready because some people are like my mom's new husband and can leave their phone at home all day long. My phone is literally a 3rd arm for me haha.
LoveyDovey
03-31-2021, 10:33 PM
Today I realized just how much my guy and I have a connection. I swear he can energetically pick up when I am thinking about him and when I am wanting to have sex.He can sense me.
kimbe
04-01-2021, 12:49 AM
^^That's for sure a sign of a true strong relationship! I love when things just happen as they were planned. :)
indiegirl
04-01-2021, 01:15 PM
I was mad over today and ordered a philly sushi roll but more importantly I also ordered a Salmon Roe Sushi Roll! Eeek I'm nervous to try it but I've always wanted to lol.
https://i.ibb.co/V3hcPyj/Screen-Shot-2021-04-01-at-1-13-48-PM.png (https://ibb.co/V3hcPyj)
All good things come to an end for me quickly. I have gotten my second text from someone from the cheap site today on the other site. I did not travel this far to make my money back and get high for no reason for 300 bucks. I'm so sick of it. Absolutely nobody from the new site other than a man who wanted to slap me in the face and abuse me BDSM style contacted me today. I'm gonna wind up dragging my jaded ass into nursing school jaded as fuck LOL.
indiegirl
04-01-2021, 03:29 PM
Ahhh this is why I'm tired of rudeness..... No woman, even if they are 20 or 60 deserve to be treated like this randomly by strangers....I never met the 1st one.
https://i.ibb.co/hdz6Wy8/Screen-Shot-2021-04-01-at-3-27-54-PM.png
(https://ibb.co/hdz6Wy8)https://i.ibb.co/MhrjZ7g/Screen-Shot-2021-04-01-at-9-55-35-AM.png (https://ibb.co/MhrjZ7g)