View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
LoveyD
07-17-2021, 12:38 PM
So I did a podcast interview for a channel about people who have near-death experiences. It's being posted on Youtube now and I can't help but feel nervous. I feel like they are going to rip me apart in the comments for being a stripper ugh.
charlie61
07-17-2021, 01:32 PM
So I did a podcast interview for a channel about people who have near-death experiences. It's being posted on Youtube now and I can't help but feel nervous. I feel like they are going to rip me apart in the comments for being a stripper ugh.
It takes so much bravery to put your authentic stuff out there - for every million people who will find your story inspiring and beautiful, there will be a handful of trolls who are looking for any opportunity to tear people down. I admire that you're putting yourself out there!
LoveyD
07-17-2021, 01:50 PM
^^Thanks, Charlie. I needed this. I think there are going to be a lot of people doubting me, but as long as I am doing what the Big Boss Upstairs asked me to do, that is what matters. I'm telling the truth and I know the Universe will have my back.
If my experience can help one person, it will have been worth it.
indiegirl
07-17-2021, 02:40 PM
Went to the bank and enjoyed a new fruity scented candle before a nap! Ahhh, yes.
moneybags
07-17-2021, 03:23 PM
So I did a podcast interview for a channel about people who have near-death experiences. It's being posted on Youtube now and I can't help but feel nervous. I feel like they are going to rip me apart in the comments for being a stripper ugh.
They will. Be non resistant to it. And as Oprah said, “Don’t ever read the comments.”
People do the same think to POC I was in a zoom meeting and it we got zoom bombed with someone saying the N word. It was horrific! People are just disgusting when they can hide behind a keyboard. One reason I quit camming. There’s so much psychological abuse of sex workers and marginalized people.
Remember to do psychological self care by Have a friend read the comments. Doing affirmations and meditation.
You got this I’m so proud of you!
If you ever need support PM me. I’ll give you my insta so you can DM me. Good luck.
LoveyD
07-17-2021, 03:40 PM
Thanks money!^^ Another woman who had a near death experience and spoke on the same podcast befriended me and she emailed me and said my interview was awesome! She's so cool. She is a (vanilla) dancer, not a stripper.Anyhow it was nice of her because I was a little nervous and I probably sounded like a rambling idiot sometimes.
I posted a brief comment thanking everyone for their comments and put a quick plug in to promote my book. I sold 1 copy after the podcast! Yay! Which is cool because I told everyone that through 7/18-7/20 they can read the ebook for free as a promotion. I hope my story helps others! I want to have a happy afterlife!
I am not reading the comments. I don't want to get into any arguments with people because I know they are just baiting me. Why waste my energy on vampires.
Thank you ladies for your support and kindness. This takes balls but I have to do what I have to do.
indiegirl
07-17-2021, 03:48 PM
Thanks money!^^ Another woman who had a near death experience and spoke on the same podcast befriended me and she emailed me and said it was awesome! She's so cool. She is a (vanilla) dancer, not a stripper.
I posted a brief comment thanking everyone for their comments and put a quick plug in to promote my book. I sold 1 copy after the podcast! Yay! Which is cool because I told everyone that through 7/18-7/20 they can read the ebook for free as a promotion. I hope my story helps others! I want to have a happy afterlife!
I am not reading the comments. I don't want to get into any arguments with people because I know they are just baiting me. Why waste my energy on vampires.
Thank you ladies for your support and kindness. This takes balls but I have to do what I have to do.
Reading comments is the worst thing you can do yet the hardest thing to avoid because I think everyone wants to hear feedback. I applaud you because it's hard putting yourself out there on the internet! Congrats on the 1st copy sold!
LoveyD
07-17-2021, 03:56 PM
Thanks indie! I'm not reading the comments. I'm just happy that I took a step and am doing what Goddess asked me to do. Negative people will throw stones at me but it's only because I rattled their cages with the truth.
moneybags
07-18-2021, 05:32 AM
I’m making a sincere effort to move on from my twin flame, so I won’t be posting on it. I guess in order to attract your twin flame you have to go no contact and align with your soul. If I don’t get my twin then I at least get inner peace, so either way I win. I hope my health issues resolve so I don’t have to talk to him. He’s the only doctor I will go to since he knows I dance and with my fitness training and dancing I have to have a doctor I can be honest with. He’s actually open minded and non judgmental-cause he’s my twin. He was just being a dick awhile ago because 1) he’s my twin flame 2) because he’s unhappily married and he wants to fuck me but he’s too good of a husband to cheat on his wife. I’m happy he’s faithful to his wife and we’ve been able to resume a professional relationship, but at some point I have to move on from our working relationship. I just hope my health issues get better, so I don’t have to see him anymore. Twin flames are the worst.
charlie61
07-18-2021, 12:15 PM
Deleting for privacy, thanks, all!
moneybags
07-18-2021, 01:13 PM
^^^the truth is relationships are ALWAYS up for renegotiation. Unless it’s a commitment relationship like a marriage-and even that’s up for negotiation.
People come in to our life for a reason, season, and a lifetime.
charlie61
07-18-2021, 01:21 PM
^^^the truth is relationships are ALWAYS up for renegotiation. Unless it’s a commitment relationship like a marriage-and even that’s up for negotiation.
People come in to our life for a reason, season, and a lifetime.
Well said, and thank you for understanding. I love him dearly and have no intention of changing anything any time soon. And hey, who knows, i could be wrong. I'm just enjoying the ride and staying present with it as best i can.
indiegirl
07-19-2021, 12:56 PM
My big boy dog is a labrador retriever who never wants to play fetch. I got scammed when I researched the breed. It's more of a game of throwing the ball and him trying to make me get the ball back from him thinking he's funny hahaha.
I guess he "retrieves" but that's about it :P
carmen_b
07-19-2021, 05:04 PM
I think I'll tell J I went to the club up North.
I wasn't *hiding* it per say I was just embarrassed it wasn't " dancer " type money ! :/
Ugh, does anyone find slow nights so embarrassing ? I need to shake it off hahaha.
They really can get in my head and I'll find myself cycling in thoughts like " I KNEW this was a bad idea " or " See , it's time to let it go for good ".
^ It honestly *might* be time to go back into retirement.
I seem to hate every moment in the club other than the times I average more than $50 - $100 an hour which just isn't a guarantee of course.
charlie61
07-19-2021, 05:48 PM
I think I'll tell J I went to the club up North.
I wasn't *hiding* it per say I was just embarrassed it wasn't " dancer " type money ! :/
Ugh, does anyone find slow nights so embarrassing ? I need to shake it off hahaha.
They really can get in my head and I'll find myself cycling in thoughts like " I KNEW this was a bad idea " or " See , it's time to let it go for good ".
^ It honestly *might* be time to go back into retirement.
I seem to hate every moment in the club other than the times I average more than $50 - $70 an hour which just isn't a guarantee of course.
Yeah, i was never good at accepting slow nights... they'd make me question everything. Whereas women who worked more frequently seemed to shake them off immediately. I think you have to weigh inconveniences, too, like if you're driving five miles to work vs. 2 hours - the two-hour drive will hurt a lot more if it happens to be a slow night.
It's a struggle to truly approach each night with the casual, "hey, whatever i make tonight, it'll be more than what i would've made sitting on the couch!" mentality. I think you like making money in a flexible side gig, of course, so I'd say the answer (retire vs not) will depend on all of the factors: if you remove outlier bad nights, have you been making good money? would you make more and feel more relaxed with a vanilla side gig? When you have a bad night, does it only take a few hours to make what you're making, or are you spending the whole night at the club to make $100-200? Is there a club close by with a relaxed vibe where you could pop in and make decent money, or is it a big ordeal whenever you go? Do you spend days recovering after each shift?
Just rhetorical questions. The economy is really shaky right now, so i think this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with bigger stuff. Plus, i don't believe you're living in a big vacation spot like NOLA, where they're seeing good money right now. I believe summers are slow in your general area.
carmen_b
07-19-2021, 05:51 PM
^ I drive TWO hours ( for either location ) ! ;/
I risked it and lost haha.
I'm in a phase where I don't need to even make much ( all my bills and a little savings can be hit for like 2 k a month ) .
Like .... with those low numbers I feel like it should all just flow and be easy so it's psyching me out even MORE .
I guess I was just hoping for a $500 night ( minus hotel and gas of course which eats $70 ) . It stings and I can either pout or get out again and try later this week lol.
To explain my club choices, the Vegas ones are closest to our home ( full time home ) and the WY one is closer to the property I go check on in the summer ( I only go when I'm up in the area anyway ).
It is the WY one that kicked me in the nuts last Thursday. Ha.
I did realize I made a mistake and looking back I can probably think of a correction. I kept just staying in the place v.s. going out for even one break ( like just sitting quietly in my car ) which really has restored my energy there before and bought me an extra hour of patience in the past. I did leave early ( about 11:15 p.m. ) which I know ..... leaving $$$ on the table but sometimes I just can not physically stay awake past Midnight so I just take what I can in $ until that hour hits.
I guess if I *average* my last 4 shifts it is not that bad. I only work an average of 1 day every 7-10 days.
I don't spend days recovering but might be more " tapped out " if I did like three days in a row like I used to.
I used to go to these places and just not come back without 1k whether that took 1.5 days ...2..... or 3 .... or 4.
I was single then though ( 2019 / early 2020 ). My life right now doesn't seem to allow 3-4 days dancer trips easily.
charlie61
07-19-2021, 06:06 PM
^ Yeah, don't let outliers psych you out. I know that's easier said than done.
carmen_b
07-19-2021, 06:08 PM
I am just really searching for my options because pre-covid my vanilla business was just *much* busier.
I have been wondering lately about if it's really going to be " just another few weeks " until we see a rebound.
If IT was just hitting the 2 k a month I would just pop over the club randomly when I got a wild hair or wanted to go shopping or something. Even with quite a bit of effort ...... I am not sure I'll get that amount in July but I'm trying like hell.
Lately I feel pressure ( in myself ) to work a club about once a week to try to off set the slowness of the vanilla business.
My partner I think is so far removed from financial pressure ..... I am not sure he understands it . :/
J has said at various times this month that I don't really need to worry about this stuff but he has never actually HANDED me any $. He is *super* generous. I have outlined this in other places. What he is saying is confusing in a way since I don't have complete clarification. Like .... if I'm short do I ask him for my car payment ? Do I hand him a bill to cover?
I would prefer to work ( at least part time 30-32 hours a week ) anyway for various reasons.
^ Another thread for another time .......
Working IN my town ( bartending or lyft or something ) might ease my anxiety.
I could see getting even $100 bucks in a day helping me chill out.
I feel like I just spend too much time " hoping it will get better " when I'm not sure my business is the answer.
I am becoming less sure about even operating it which is a BIG thing to admit ( no storefront but there are still monthly outgoing costs to keeping it alive ).
carmen_b
07-19-2021, 06:47 PM
Hmmmm
Interesting
I didn’t even know summers were slow in my area. I guess it’s because I’ve only really worked the last 6 weeks here.
^ Sorry for long ones above ugh. Sorting thoughts out !
Staci
07-19-2021, 07:59 PM
J has said at various times this month that I don't really need to worry about this stuff but he has never actually HANDED me any $. He is *super* generous. I have outlined this in other places. What he is saying is confusing in a way since I don't have complete clarification. Like .... if I'm short do I ask him for my car payment ? Do I hand him a bill to cover?
Maybe next time he states you don't need to worry about money, respond with something like "That's easy to say, but what happens when I can't make my car payment?", and see how he responds.
Luci Fer
07-19-2021, 10:34 PM
deleted:)
~Carmen~
07-19-2021, 11:07 PM
^That's not stupid at all. It's not all about them. We have a choice too. We are sharing our most intimate selves and our comfort is extremely important. I have refused many shows when I don't feel comfortable.
Luci Fer
07-20-2021, 12:55 AM
^That's not stupid at all. It's not all about them. We have a choice too. We are sharing our most intimate selves and our comfort is extremely important. I have refused many shows when I don't feel comfortable.
Thank you, Carmen:) I know, just sometimes I feel I could be kind of 'stronger'. Though...I realize this kind of thing is not about strength at all. Lol,I don't even know where it comes from./:O
~Carmen~
07-20-2021, 01:08 AM
You're right, it's not about strength. It's about being true to yourself. Now THAT takes strength!
charlie61
07-20-2021, 07:49 AM
Hmmmm
Interesting
I didn’t even know summers were slow in my area. I guess it’s because I’ve only really worked the last 6 weeks here.
^ Sorry for long ones above ugh. Sorting thoughts out !
Yeah, i don't know your exact location, of course, but i definitely don't think of Vegas as a place where people go in the summer, unless there's a convention or something. Shrugs. I just feel like it isn't you. Lots of factors in the economy right now. Smart people are holding onto their money, waiting for the recession to pop after this stimulus money runs out.
Agreed that a steady, vanilla side gig could help ease your mind, especially since you wouldn't feel pressure to make stripper money in vanilla work.
charlie61
07-20-2021, 08:41 AM
I'd really love to have a YouTube channel, but i don't know if i have the courage or confidence to put myself out there like that. I feel like it'd be so awkward at first. But it could be a great creative outlet for me. And it could turn into a side hustle eventually. I'm so bad at sticking with stuff. I'm such a flake when it comes to hobbies, it's ridiculous.
carmen_b
07-20-2021, 09:05 AM
^ What content would you feature ?
I have one attached to my business ( outdoor type content designed to funnel sales towards business ). Honestly it’s “ meh “ but customers do sometimes find us there.
carmen_b
07-20-2021, 09:07 AM
^ Half the time they see me tiny in frame or the back of me walking towards things ! I’m often makeup free and not wanting to put that side of me online.
charlie61
07-20-2021, 09:12 AM
^ What content would you feature ?
I have one attached to my business ( outdoor type content designed to funnel sales towards business ). Honestly it’s “ meh “ but customers do sometimes find us there.
I'm completely obsessed with health, so it'd be a health and beauty channel. Probably lots of reviews of stuff that i use and love, and random stuff that i purchase. It'd be more on the "natural beauty"/ real side of things...i wouldn't be all made up and looking super cute all of the time, haha. Would take a lot for me to put my authentic self out there, but i know a lot of you have been doing that recently, so I'm inspired!
carmen_b
07-20-2021, 09:46 AM
^ I could see that working and getting some freebies / products out of it.
carmen_b
07-20-2021, 09:49 AM
I think I have calmed down a *little* on July being slow relating to $ goals.
I think what I will come to as a decision to just keep doing a little bit of everything.
Keep buying some advertisements for the business and trying to close sales there + some time at the club + maybe add some gig type work.
I just signed up with lyft but I think I need to send some extra things to them.
I might have to just be more straight with my partner too and tell him we may temporarily lose some of our " couple " time ( he gets my evening time frame about 15-16 days a month ).
IF I need a multi day club trip to hit goals ( or at least attempt to ) I might just have to speak up about it more and lose a couple days together for it. My clubs are just too far possibly to do the " one day " pop in type visits. When it works it WORKS . For one day I'm gone LESS than 24 hours and if I can pick up $400-$500 it's perfect.
This is a unique emergency type of month ( my vanilla websites got attacked with malware to the point where google pulled the ads down ..... that is a place I SPEND to put them up ).
We ( between efforts of me and J who is ultra tech savvy ) think we have one website almost ad ready again today and the next site will follow in 1-2 weeks. Even though he didn't HAND me some $ I think he has saved the business well over $500 in the last 10 days getting these sites operational again.
carmen_b
07-20-2021, 10:26 AM
^ I mean .... instead of just bitching .... honestly I could pack the car and do a 48 hour trip starting tomorrow if I feel I need to. I think if I'm going to keep a toe dipped in ( dancing ) I need to not be embarrassed to schedule two days in a week for it not just one in a week.
Thanks for listening ladies as I try to brainstorm on this !!
Totally willing to help others try to decide about these types of decisions and details too. :)
charlie61
07-20-2021, 11:09 AM
I'm completely obsessed with health, so it'd be a health and beauty channel. Probably lots of reviews of stuff that i use and love, and random stuff that i purchase. It'd be more on the "natural beauty"/ real side of things...i wouldn't be all made up and looking super cute all of the time, haha. Would take a lot for me to put my authentic self out there, but i know a lot of you have been doing that recently, so I'm inspired!
One of the motivators, honestly, is seeing how atypical beauty channels can grow so successfully over time. Like RawBeautyKristi, for example. She definitely doesn't fit the stereotype of a beauty channel, but she's become incredibly successful (without changing herself even a little bit) by persevering and just being herself.
charlie61
07-20-2021, 12:12 PM
^ I mean .... instead of just bitching .... honestly I could pack the car and do a 48 hour trip starting tomorrow if I feel I need to. I think if I'm going to keep a toe dipped in ( dancing ) I need to not be embarrassed to schedule two days in a week for it not just one in a week.
Thanks for listening ladies as I try to brainstorm on this !!
Totally willing to help others try to decide about these types of decisions and details too. :)
I think that sounds smart. It can be jarring going from stripping, back to the vanilla world, and back to stripping. Could be easier and more budget-friendly to just stay in that mode.
But anyway, we're threadjacking at this point, lol.
indiegirl
07-20-2021, 02:44 PM
I got ghosted on by a customer. ROAR. I spent 200 bucks on the room and he had no intention of showing up. I said "no worries, I just spent 200 bucks on the room for you after searching for a room for an hour which sucks." Feeling A+....why continue having a conversation and confirming a time and not showing up? I'm glad August will be a month of relaxation for me.
indiegirl
07-21-2021, 08:00 AM
Ah yes, I love laying in bed alone naked with a fresh cleaned face and no hair extensions while cuddling with a pillow.
Men are useless in my bed since I don't want to share my bed, sheets, blankets, comforter, or cuddle to sleep. I'd honestly be the type of woman to prefer to have a man sleep in a separate bed if things got serious.
carmen_b
07-21-2021, 08:46 AM
I am trying to comfort my anxious soul with food haha.
BUT healthy and home made.
I made chicken , potatoes , and veggies yesterday. It does take time ( duh ) but I think as a couple it keeps us from over spending on food which we definitely happily do often . I'm trying to just balance things.
I can save money by pre-making food ahead which makes me feel more calm / controlled when my business is slow.
When it's busy again I will just order whatever I want. :)
miss.a.p1600
07-21-2021, 10:52 AM
Ah yes, I love laying in bed alone naked with a fresh cleaned face and no hair extensions while cuddling with a pillow.
Men are useless in my bed since I don't want to share my bed, sheets, blankets, comforter, or cuddle to sleep. I'd honestly be the type of woman to prefer to have a man sleep in a separate bed if things got serious.
Agreed!
Whoever came up with the idea of sharing a bed anyways?
I didn’t sleep good last night cause I couldnt move n stretch like I wanted with L in my bed.
L likes to cuddle. Most times, I loathe cuddling because I feel smothered.
Then he likes to lay around because he goes in to work late in the day. I hate seeing men sleep in like fairy queens or something. I feel like they should be gone doing something productive doing masculine tasks before I even wake up.
I’d rather have the 80s set up….separate bed in same room (as long as the dude doesn’t snore) then push the beds together IF the dude earned sex for that day.
indiegirl
07-21-2021, 11:44 AM
Agreed!
Whoever came up with the idea of sharing a bed anyways?
I didn’t sleep good last night cause I couldnt move n stretch like I wanted with L in my bed.
L likes to cuddle. Most times, I loathe cuddling because I feel smothered.
Then he likes to lay around because he goes in to work late in the day. I hate seeing men sleep in like fairy queens or something. I feel like they should be gone doing something productive doing masculine tasks before I even wake up.
I’d rather have the 80s set up….separate bed in same room (as long as the dude doesn’t snore) then push the beds together IF the dude earned sex for that day.
According to my scientific research, separate beds results in less cuddling and sex which is a great thing for me LOLLLLLL! That previous guy I was hanging around wanted sex and affection daily. I'm not the type of woman to throw myself all over a man and boost his big ego as well as giving him compliments every single day. Hell I don't even need that. It feels great sleeping alone and nobody is hogging the sheets and bed space with me. :P!
And thank you for mentioning you hate cuddling too. I hate it! I wake up with a sore back! I've had multiple boyfriends in the past ask me to cuddle. NOOOOO. I have scoliosis and my back is screwed up already so I'm constantly needing to change positions. Cuddling with a man feels like being body slammed and trying to sleep LOL
JGB2009
07-21-2021, 12:19 PM
I don't give compliments to guys......lol I didn't know it was required. I might compliment a guy if he has nice hair but that is it. Otherwise I am not telling him something to make his head swell. Fairy Queens, haha that made me laugh.
charlie61
07-21-2021, 06:19 PM
I was really hoping that, after two years of babying my hair (zero heat, zero blow-drying, regular scalp massages with bomb oils, great nutrition and hair/skin vitamins, no sulfates or silicones, etc.), the texture of my hair would change. But it really hasn't. It's less damaged, of course, because i had previously been dyeing and straightening it all of the time. But i still have naturally frizzy-inclined, wavy/curly, fine hair, and i still don't have a way of styling it that i love. I'm feeling a little disappointed, for sure. I really thought that maybe I'd start growing thick, luscious locks or something.
Considering adding water-soluble silicones back into my routine, but i can't for the life of me find a single web source that recommends products (as opposed to just listing ingredients) that contain only water-soluble silicones. : /
Maybe i should just give up on the no-silicones thing altogether and see if it makes a difference in frizz and texture.
indiegirl
07-21-2021, 06:39 PM
Hahahaha. I can't understand the foot fetish thing still. Either they want good or gross feet. This new guy is more interested in my feet than anything in emails. I do not have the fresh pedicure that he wants. I have a probably broken toe, haven't gotten my toes done in 2 years, and calluses on my heels. Are you turned on sir? LOLLLLLLL. Feet are for walking on not sexualizing. I don't get it LOL!
I feel like he's starting to backpedal on committing to this date because of my FEET.
JGB2009
07-21-2021, 07:38 PM
^^^^
I love foot fetish guys.............
TheBrownFox
07-21-2021, 08:15 PM
^I wish I had some foot fetish guys on OnlyFans. Last year I spent money on a mini pedicure kit from Sally's for the sole purpose of doing feet pics for OnlyFans, and not one person bought the pic set. I just posted a video the other day of me sitting on my bed naked, painting my toenails, and I posted it on all the different clip platforms. Hopefully it gets some sales. As for the feet pics, if I still even have them in my phone, I should list them on MFC Share to see if anyone will tip for them.
indiegirl
07-21-2021, 11:04 PM
I'd really love to have a YouTube channel, but i don't know if i have the courage or confidence to put myself out there like that. I feel like it'd be so awkward at first. But it could be a great creative outlet for me. And it could turn into a side hustle eventually. I'm so bad at sticking with stuff. I'm such a flake when it comes to hobbies, it's ridiculous.
I've wanted to do that for years. I feel like it takes a certain personality to do it well and it's not me. I'd be on the camera before each sentence saying "ummmm." LOL. Plus another issue is the crazies on youtube swatting your house, showing up to your house, death threats, cancel culture, and the harsh comments.
I'd be so down to do a video like this man where he doesn't even speak in it and I'd cook frozen dinners on the stove or hellofresh lol. :P. Good camera guys, editors, or video equipment can be pricey. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0OEmrHzJjk
lurkingtitties
07-22-2021, 06:52 AM
So I ended up getting back together with the Ghanaian guy I was posting about in late 2020/first couple months of 2021. It's been long distance for almost 4 months but I was close enough that we were still able to take turns visiting each other once a month. I was pretty hesitant at first, despite my extremely strong feelings for him, because I was fearful of getting hurt again. However he was really stepping up and showing effort, and while we did still have conflicts we were doing amazing with communicating respectfully and working through things. Plus going on cute dates, exchanging gifts, he climbed my favorite mountain with me, it's been really nice.
Then weekend before last I went to stay with him for a long weekend Thurs-Sun. We had an amazing time, a bit of conflict on Friday but nothing major, or so I thought. He introduced me to his whole friend group. Sunday before I left we had a great convo about the future. He said he wants us to take a trip abroad together, and also that he's ready to introduce me to his kid and meet my parents.
After I got home I noticed he was being a bit distant throughout the week, but I chalked it up to him having a lot of household projects to complete, having his daughter that week, feeling like he didn't need to check in as much after our wonderful visit, etc. This Monday I told him I wanted to talk on the phone bc it had been a while and I missed him, and he drops a drama bomb on me. Saying that I lied to him about some stuff during our visit (spoiler alter: I didn't), and that now he has to decide if he wants to be in the relationship anymore.
There was some back and forth between us over the past couple days, first arguing and then both of us trying to reconnect (me more than him but he def was putting in a bit of effort too) but it felt very strained/distant. Yesterday he asked for the night off so he could have some time to think. I agreed but about an hour later sent him a text telling him that feeling so distant from him was killing me on the inside, and that we didn't have to talk about it now but that I wanted to let him know for the sake of honesty/transparency. He turned mean on me, saying that I make everything about me and some other toxic/unhelpful stuff. We haven't spoken since.
I don't know what's going to happen next. This feels different from other conflicts we've had recently where we're able to work things out quickly/respectfully and he makes me feel loved afterward. Normally I would be trying to reach out today because I hate feeling distant from him, but after the way he talked to me yesterday I refuse to be the one to break first. I have no idea when I'm going to hear from him though, or what I want from the relationship going forward! It's overwhelming to think about.
LoveyD
07-22-2021, 07:22 AM
I was on Youtube for an interview and I couldn't even read the comments! Plus I hate seeing/ hearing myself on recording, which is weird because I've done TV and film acting. I would do tarot card reading channel, but there are already so many out there.
LoveyD
07-22-2021, 07:23 AM
I was really hoping that, after two years of babying my hair (zero heat, zero blow-drying, regular scalp massages with bomb oils, great nutrition and hair/skin vitamins, no sulfates or silicones, etc.), the texture of my hair would change. But it really hasn't. It's less damaged, of course, because i had previously been dyeing and straightening it all of the time. But i still have naturally frizzy-inclined, wavy/curly, fine hair, and i still don't have a way of styling it that i love. I'm feeling a little disappointed, for sure. I really thought that maybe I'd start growing thick, luscious locks or something.
Considering adding water-soluble silicones back into my routine, but i can't for the life of me find a single web source that recommends products (as opposed to just listing ingredients) that contain only water-soluble silicones. : /
Maybe i should just give up on the no-silicones thing altogether and see if it makes a difference in frizz and texture.
I have the same kind if hair. Same hair scenario. It's maddening!
charlie61
07-22-2021, 08:04 AM
Lurking - that issue is consistent with this guy. Seems like a toxic pattern of false accusation. That would really hurt me, too. Be careful. Not going to give you advice... just be careful. :(
lurkingtitties
07-22-2021, 08:23 AM
Lurking - that issue is consistent with this guy. Seems like a toxic pattern of false accusation. That would really hurt me, too. Be careful. Not going to give you advice... just be careful. :(
Agreed! Things were moving in a consistently positive direction for months but now it’s back to square one! Really not sure what to do from here. When we got back together I told him that even though everything felt warm and fuzzy and perfect, things would happen in the future that would trigger his trust issues and we would need to deal with it the right way next time. He agreed and promised things would be different but now the same stuff is happening again…