View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
indiegirl
01-08-2022, 01:10 PM
Customer I joke with who I recently saw asked me last night why ladies who label themselves "VIP_____ always charge $20,000 for a hug." I said that my new name is "Executive VIP Future President Audrey" lolllll he thought it was funny. :P...I'm just running my special version of stand up comedy in appointments, don't mind me! LOL!
On a hilarious side note my mom emails me tik toks now and I think to myself "Shouldn't I be the one on social media and having tik tok figured out compared to you haha?" :P. I still don't get why she emails them to me instead of texts the link but she's closer at it than I am hahaha! This is all coming from the same woman who kept calling everything 'downloading' and once my mom retired she is somehow on Tik Tok :P lol!!
miss.a.p1600
01-08-2022, 05:05 PM
Do men still like handjobs? Or is that something they should turn their nose down at?
Sometimes I don’t feel like sucking or fucking but I’d be willing to do a handjob.
L turned down a handjob once and I was confused. Should have taken what he could get. Handjob or nothing. S&F is off the menu until further notice. Pussy is an at will employer. You can leave any time and pussy can leave/go on strike at any time.
carmen_b
01-08-2022, 06:31 PM
^ My partner won’t take one haha.
Odd to me because I love hands hahaha.
Decisions about handjobs may change I’d imagine as the time went longer without anything else!
indiegirl
01-08-2022, 07:20 PM
Just so anyone knows. Jobs are just getting limited and save. Customer met a fucking robot when he accidentally showed up to the wrong hotel. This is going to end poorly.
miss.a.p1600
01-08-2022, 09:10 PM
^ My partner won’t take one haha.
Odd to me because I love hands hahaha.
Decisions about handjobs may change I’d imagine as the time went longer without anything else!
Next month, I'll just make sure to turn off ALL the lights next time so he will have a hard time telling the difference
What I hate are the people that don't share anything about themselves. One guy asked me "Is this an interview? Why are you asking me so many questions?" Like geeez.
Lol, I’ve been asked that before at the club, I just like asking questions to get to know enough to seem like I’m interested before asking if they wanna dance/room and it helps w the segue there. I have the same flow w everyone all night lol
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 10:28 AM
^ Right ? Because you need to go with *overall* what works. Otherwise half of them will be like " why are you gettin straight to it ? " ect. !
In a club setting the chit chat is almost part of the service .
charlie61
01-09-2022, 11:25 AM
I hate being on top. None of it is doing anything for me, so I'm like, what am i doing up here?
miss.a.p1600
01-09-2022, 12:18 PM
^Do you mean being on top…….sexually? If so, I feel ya, I only like it it i can blindfold them so they’re not gawking n shit.
It’s just another way for them to “see” you perform PLUS they get to be lazy and just lay there.
indiegirl
01-09-2022, 12:21 PM
I hate being on top. None of it is doing anything for me, so I'm like, what am i doing up here?
Lazy Starfishing it is the best.
That's all I can muster up if I'm not getting paid for it and in a relationship LOLL. I'm a nightmare in bed if it's for free and would rather the person pay someone at this point in my life. hahaha.
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 12:34 PM
Not my fave either but will do for variety.
Lowest chance of hitting the clit of any position lol unless the woman is just touching it ?!? So I guess if you enjoy balancing AND doing the touch he should be doing then do this.
I hate being on top. None of it is doing anything for me, so I'm like, what am i doing up here?
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 12:38 PM
I’m so immature.
Now I miss dancing .
It’s been three weeks since my dancer trauma experience ( little cash and shower broken after shift at hotel ).
Like ... there is just no way it could be worse lol .
I got the “ bad luck “ out of the way.
I’m going to try to leave it alone , spend time at real estate office , see if I can snatch any crumbs over there.
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 12:39 PM
You know what it is ?!? Lol
My gym is playing stripper music. Now I’m like “ where is my $1,000?”
I want to sort the bills, smooth them , turn all the heads the right way lol.
miss.a.p1600
01-09-2022, 12:39 PM
Lazy Starfishing it is the best.
That's all I can muster up if I'm not getting paid for it and in a relationship LOLL. I'm a nightmare in bed if it's for free and would rather the person pay someone at this point in my life. hahaha.
girl I agree 2000
indiegirl
01-09-2022, 12:49 PM
You know what it is ?!? Lol
My gym is playing stripper music. Now I’m like “ where is my $1,000?”
I want to sort the bills, smooth them , turn all the heads the right way lol.
Have you ever been to one of those gyms that brings in a dj blasting music randomly?!?! Happened at my LA Fitness a few times and felt totally like the vibe of "bring the poles out and those dollar bills!" hahahaha
miss.a.p1600
01-09-2022, 12:49 PM
Not my fave either but will do for variety.
Lowest chance of hitting the clit of any position lol unless the woman is just touching it ?!? So I guess if you enjoy balancing AND doing the touch he should be doing then do this.
i always thought the clit would be stimulated in the on top position but the times I have been on top I couldn’t feel anything. I figured it was from L being overweight and his stomach in the way lol.
Then I practiced being on top with my body pillow and it was a success
But maybe it’s just the dude? And his body/dick just not hitting right. Idk?
miss.a.p1600
01-09-2022, 12:53 PM
Lazy Starfishing it is the best.
That's all I can muster up if I'm not getting paid for it and in a relationship LOLL. I'm a nightmare in bed if it's for free and would rather the person pay someone at this point in my life. hahaha.
L tried to insinuate (by sending me a video of a woman who said you better suck your man dry or some busted bitches will be ready to do it)
I tried to act horrified but in my mind, if I could outsource sex with him, I would.
I hate having sex with no immediate benefits.
Pretty much at once a month right now. I’m fine with that. That’s all he deserves from me.
pass the test, get a raise, and then I will release the nudes.
miss.a.p1600
01-09-2022, 12:58 PM
You know what it is ?!? Lol
My gym is playing stripper music. Now I’m like “ where is my $1,000?”
I want to sort the bills, smooth them , turn all the heads the right way lol.
Hahahaha! Tell me you’re a stripper without telling me you are a stripper……
Sorting and organizing the money so it’s easy to count it faster
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 01:06 PM
It’s random ! Club music today got me cash hungry and quickly lol !!
I was so traumatized by the last shift all my dancer clothes were just in a smoky ball unwashed in a bag lol. I washed them last night finally.
Have you ever been to one of those gyms that brings in a dj blasting music randomly?!?! Happened at my LA Fitness a few times and felt totally like the vibe of "bring the poles out and those dollar bills!" hahahaha
miss.a.p1600
01-09-2022, 01:16 PM
I confess I'd give this ring back for my solitude, my freedom, etc.
charlie61
01-09-2022, 02:39 PM
I confess I'd give this ring back for my solitude, my freedom, etc.
That is an option! Your thanks count will pop to 40k when you leave this dude, lol!
charlie61
01-09-2022, 02:42 PM
^Do you mean being on top…….sexually? If so, I feel ya, I only like it it i can blindfold them so they’re not gawking n shit.
It’s just another way for them to “see” you perform PLUS they get to be lazy and just lay there.
Lazy Starfishing it is the best.
That's all I can muster up if I'm not getting paid for it and in a relationship LOLL. I'm a nightmare in bed if it's for free and would rather the person pay someone at this point in my life. hahaha.
100%. When I'm on top, i feel like i need to perform or something, which really is the last thing i need as an ex-sex worker. I'm 0% focused on paying attention to my body when I'm on top. If I'm on the bottom and he's doing whatever feels good to him, then i can at least try to see if i can feel anything.
I have this toxic mix of inattentive-type adhd + asexuality + dissociative tendencies from sex work that's a nightmare for partnered sex. Even when I'm masturbating, i can be having explosive multiple orgasms while I'm thinking about my next lululemon order. Something is definitely wrong with me...
charlie61
01-09-2022, 02:51 PM
Was just trying to have some lazy Sunday morning sex to satisfy my loved one and somehow ended up on top like it's my job, lol! At some point i was like, "yesterday was Leg Day" (i.e. please let this stop now) and he graciously took over. I think for a lot of dudes, girl on top is like the best thing ever. They can lay back, enjoy the view, etc. Meanwhile, I'm feeling like the Pillsbury dough boy up there, flopping around.
Anyway, sorry for tmi, lol...
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 02:56 PM
Haha
Quite funny how I hate girl on top lately. I don’t always hate it either.
Maybe it IS a sex worker thing. Straddling just feels too “ at work “ maybe haha.
JGB2009
01-09-2022, 03:44 PM
^^^^
I don't like being on top. Fuck that. Id rather masterbate by myself!!!!
carmen_b
01-09-2022, 03:52 PM
So funny but Charlie’s post has me thinking about how much I hate it haha.
Lately anyway !!
My sexuality is all messed up lately and I’m getting some pro help getting it sorted.
My fetish is pretty " out there ".
I seem to currently like ...... being left alone. Lol.
WendiStarr
01-09-2022, 07:08 PM
Dang, all this talk of sex...my belly is so huge that it's comical to imagine being on top or any sex at all right now. I have no idea how any man would even be able to get to it with this massive 19lb mountain in the way. Truth be told I probably have a red forest growing down there because I haven't been able to see over the belly for a few months now to shave. Lol!
I spent like $200 today on stuff for the kids. My oldest didn't really need a new comforter. I just felt guilty because I've been buying stuff for the new baby on the way and presents for my other daughter's birthday.
Pokahantas
01-10-2022, 09:08 AM
I want to tell my boyfriend that he’s too heavy. In the 3 years we’ve been together he’s always been a big guy 6’0 and I think like 260 pounds but lately I’ve noticed that he’s gotten even bigger and not only is it a turn off but during sex I literally feel like I’m going to die from suffocating or something. His stomach crushes me and he puts all his weight on me. He doesn’t seem to care that when he’s on top of me I’m trying to push him off of me because I can’t effing breathe. Last week when it happened I could feel my food trying to come up and thought I was also going to choke to death but he just kept pouncing. I want to say something but don’t know how to start this conversation. I am in shape and have tried to encourage him to eat healthy by cooking him healthy meals and even replacing the bad foods in his house but he just retreats back to eating bad. Can you imagine being 5’4 121 pounds going through this? He keeps saying he’s going to lose pounds but keeps eating unhealthy at the same time. Over the weekend I sent him a video of an episode from my 600 pound life where they had to break out a man’s wall to get him out his house. I sent it to him saying isn’t this crazy? Hoping he’d get a hint. Is it mean for me to feel like I don’t want to have sex with him until he loses some weight? I do a lot to stay in shape and feel as though I deserve better than this. This is crazy! It’s starting to really make me miss being with girls.
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 09:12 AM
^ Girl I know the feeling
My dude could look 1000 times better if he toned his body up and dropped a good 30-40lbs. He knows he is too big so I try not to be too stern but I made it clear......Im not attracted to super big dudes (UNLESS I am VERY WELL compensated to overlook it).
It's hard. cause you want to be a little bit sensitive to their body image but at the same time its like ..... ' come on now, you've GOT to shape up at least a bit'
My favorite position is missionary but I rarely get it because of my dude being overweight
UGHHH!!!!
Only thing you can do is go to the gym yourself, encourage him to go too. And only cook healthy meals. And give positive reinforcement when he is eating healthy n exercising.
If it gets bad (he does nothing)......Leave his ass cause men are hypocrites and WILL leave you in a heartbeat the moment you blow up n don't snapback.
Pokahantas
01-10-2022, 09:22 AM
^ Girl I know the feeling
My dude could look 1000 times better if he toned his body up and dropped a good 30-40lbs. He knows he is too big so I try not to be too stern but I made it clear......Im not attracted to super big dudes (UNLESS I am VERY WELL compensated to overlook it).
It's hard. cause you want to be a little bit sensitive to their body image but at the same time its like ..... ' come on now, you've GOT to shape up at least a bit'
My favorite position is missionary but I rarely get it because of my dude being overweight
UGHHH!!!!
Only thing you can do is go to the gym yourself, encourage him to go too. And only cook healthy meals. And give positive reinforcement when he is eating healthy n exercising.
If it gets bad (he does nothing)......Leave his ass cause men are hypocrites and WILL leave you in a heartbeat the moment you blow up n don't snapback.
So sorry you too have to deal with something similar to my situation. I just added to my original post that I’ve encouraged him to eat healthy by cooking and buying him more healthy food options but he goes right back to eating fast foods daily. Thanks for bringing up the positive reinforcement. I do that as well. We played ping pong and he was so out of shape he could barely keep up but kept making excuses instead of accepting the reality of his situation. I honestly just think he’s lazy and doesn’t want to put in the work.
charlie61
01-10-2022, 10:30 AM
^and you KNOW that if these dudes were single, dating, and not getting laid, they'd be tightening up.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 11:01 AM
Would it be crazy if I ignored some things today and went and did tea somewhere , and maybe a meditation class ?
It is business hours. I *should* be focusing on making money but my phone would still be on if an easy customer were to surface.
Hmmmmm
I have a to do list but I feel like most of it wouldn't implode if I pushed some to tomorrow.
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 11:47 AM
^and you KNOW that if these dudes were single, dating, and not getting laid, they'd be tightening up.
AHAHAHAHA.....
precisely!
When I stopped fucking.....He was like 'what wrong? Am I too big?'
I just can't get into it if mf aint at least attempting to get their body and health right.
Which brings to my point that I think men should be held to the same 'if you get too big, I will leave' standards they put on women/women's bodies.
So sorry you too have to deal with something similar to my situation. I just added to my original post that I’ve encouraged him to eat healthy by cooking and buying him more healthy food options but he goes right back to eating fast foods daily. Thanks for bringing up the positive reinforcement. I do that as well. We played ping pong and he was so out of shape he could barely keep up but kept making excuses instead of accepting the reality of his situation. I honestly just think he’s lazy and doesn’t want to put in the work.
It could be laziness. IDK. But what I do know is when they see you hitting the gym eating good......that thought pops into their mind that you'll be looking good/getting fit making you more attractive, especially to other men - it could snap some sense into him (because the possibility of another man taking your lady is motivating for them to change) or if he still doesn't give a damn....that lets you know right there that he is cool with being big and you either take it or leave it
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 12:04 PM
^ Depression too.
BUT still .... the individual has to give 100% to giving it a shot at improvement !
I think I'm turning into a bit of a snooty gym rat. :/
I am probably a little biased.
Give your body an hour a day and you won't have these problems ( along with creating better health ) !
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 12:14 PM
Omg I just can not visualize myself going up to the real estate office today ! :/
I do know that I want to create a plan to hide from J and daughter from 1:30 - 7:30 though. Lol
It may be selfish but I might need it. I may escape to the AirBnB for " day use " haha .
I was with them yesterday ( so not a total dick move ) just for perspective ha.
Wtf is it with schools these days ? Now she is out at 1 the next couple days days for something ? ! ?
I wish I wasn't being a pussy about just getting up to that office and getting involved .
It is almost like I'm *scared* to take on a client. I need to get over it.
I think it is my depression telling lies ( telling lies that I can not handle things at a "larger scale" than what I do for day job ). I will be getting a check from that office though. I will ( eventually ) be pushing through to get that first check.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 12:33 PM
I'll admit I'm a little irritated with J on a couple things . A step at a time of course.
He has caused himself some stress this week thinking it would be a good idea to take daughter out of school tomorrow to go skiing . This is shorting his work week hours and adding stress.
He is salary so it doesn't " short " him financially but then he will whine about the stress. :/
^ Ok if you want to do that fabulous but I am giving zero time to this project.
It's all on you.
I think you need to let people learn themselves rather than say something so that is the angle I'm taking on this.
He has already mentioned feeling pinched in work hours ...... maybe not shave 7-8 of them off your week then. He could have taken her Sunday ( yesterday ) and not touched his work hours so I'll just step on back from this one.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 02:30 PM
I’m not sure how to get through to my partner.
I feel like my body has lost 90% of its sexual response towards him because he seems to not be willing to crack into deeper relationship work . My concern today is therapy. I swore we were doing it and then he dodged giving the date ( availability ) to book.
He seems to be trying with me ( talking together daily ). I feel like we need guidance and deeper work. I’m just very hesitant and wish the session was booked. It takes time to get seen ( typically needing to book 4-8 days ahead ) .
This is my working theory anyway of where my libido “ went “. It could be wrong ( diy theory here )!
I do see he is trying by planning nice dates / nice weekend plans coming up . I’m having a hard time with therapy resistance even though I do clearly see these other efforts and appreciate them.
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 03:28 PM
^Yeah I understand where youre coming from because...........
If a guy won't listen to you outside the bedroom, then his listening skills will probably going to be on that same level in the bedroom......not listening, barreling through, doing it *his* way
I felt similar when L was hell bent on this fantasy of having a baby - right now - and would not listen to my concerns about the reality of it. Made me not want to have sex at all because I was traumatized by the anxiety of unwanted pregnancy on my end that I couldn't get aroused at all.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 03:30 PM
He’s brainstorming but still gets going on the “ let’s just have more fun together “ thing.
It ( therapy ) felt really important to me.
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 03:34 PM
^sounds like a typical male response to a more deeper issue.
"I'll just wine and dine her so she forgets about it all"........
Anytime the sex tapers off, they start buying roses and planning dates because thats the easy simple band-aid fix in their minds.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:04 PM
I'm easy haha so the nice dates , weekend plans, and the DIY effort DOES work ( to some extent ) ! :)
I just wish it were happening *in conjunction* to deeper work .
I don't know if I feel like our DIY efforts are doing enough ( they definitely are not fast enough ).
I'm compartmentalizing for sure because I refuse to let distraction impact work.
I have enough projects to keep me very busy but I do find myself thinking about this stuff in random moments and downtime .
I'm not really trying to pick ( I think ! ) but also with a higher income ...... just whipping out a card for a date night seems like a very easy cop out ( I think similar to what you mentioned ) . It's a " bandaid " when an actual emergency needs an ambulance ( therapy ) .
charlie61
01-10-2022, 04:14 PM
Carmen, do you ever think of yourself as being in a "pandemic relationship"? I don't ask to be offensive. I think there's a lot of benefit to the circumstances... dating culture during non-pandemic times moves TOO quickly. I hated my first date with my current partner of over four years and told him i never wanted to see him again (we were in very different places in our lives at the time), and likely never would've seen him again if we didn't work together. So i think the pandemic has been similarly nice for a lot of folks who might have given up on the relationship very early on if they hadn't been in lockdown.
Do you think it's more of a blessing that it has forced you, in some ways, to keep investing yourself? Or do you think you've spent more time and effort on the relationship than you feel like is really "worth it" due to the circumstances (money tight, pandemic, etc.)?
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:21 PM
^ Thanks for reply as always. :)
I have really thought of this and we do talk very openly about everything so we have also discussed it openly ( the possibility that we are a " pandemic " fit but not a good long term one ). We talked about it and looked at so many angles . Together we made the choice to continue to go forward and keep trying . We enjoyed " the regular world " together !
I will openly admit though that I was in a phase of dating those " sugar daddies who don't know they are SD's " though ! I entered that phase with a better hearted intention that it probably sounds like ! I was finding men were not really as organized and swift with things like scheduling / not flaking / respecting time ! I felt like my time and energy was disrespected constantly so as an experiment I just tried much busier people. It worked and I was finding that I GOT ALONG WITH THEM SO MUCH BETTER . I don't know how to explain it entirely but I was in a phase of experimenting for sure. I'm successful too in my own way ( all my efforts are " stuck " in real estate holdings haha with very little liquid ) . I would not say I'm " unsuccessful " or that I am ladder stepping with J .... we are on each others level.
Playing suburbia does not seem to make me entirely happy lately .
I don't even know what WOULD which is why I'm entering my own therapy ( finally ! ) to explore.
I know that technically I'm in a good position too ( I have enough home equity to put 55% down on a NICER one ) .
I want to work with the personal therapist on that. I see these gains that i have ( with logic ) but still wake up and feel angry often ........ I mean 90% of the time.
I am journaling / note taking heavily and playing with a lot of scenarios .
I think therapy could help us at a deeper level too because our ( former ) partners both abandoned US v.s. a mutual agreement or us leaving by choice ect. ! I think this is something to look at . At some level we must both feel pain from that abandonment.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:22 PM
Ok now I'm dying to hear what was wrong with that first date ( ha ) to the point of you knowing for sure you didn't want a 2nd one hahaha .
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:30 PM
Maybe but I can easily see us as having NOT given up had it not been a factor too.
It just happened to be .
I always felt like he was more " hesitant " with me than I would have liked BUT people are different .
I do feel hopeful but I have thought for three days therapy was on the table. :/
Well ..... obviously I wanted therapy ( badly ! ) but it seems stalled which is a bummer.
i think the pandemic has been similarly nice for a lot of folks who might have given up on the relationship very early on if they hadn't been in lockdown.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:35 PM
( delete )
charlie61
01-10-2022, 04:42 PM
Ok now I'm dying to hear what was wrong with that first date ( ha ) to the point of you knowing for sure you didn't want a 2nd one hahaha .
Girl, it is a whoooole story... at the time, i was preparing to leave my 11-year relationship due to my ex's addiction (it was a very sad situation - he was a soulmate, but i couldn't handle the rollercoaster anymore). I had just started my new corporate job after returning to dancing for a year or two, so was very much in sex-worker mode (not putting up with an ounce of bullshit in my free time). I met up with my current partner, an extremely attractive, confident, well-dressed, well-traveled, ripped, super intelligent, charismatic, story-telling guy that i might classify as hypersexual. We had a casual date at the house of the room he was renting. We'd previously only ever talked at work. Basically, it felt like my life was falling apart (i was losing the love of my life). And i went on a date with this dude who was just Having Fun dating and clearly thought that our date was going to be an easy, casual, slam-dunk of a time. I told him straight up that i was married, asexual, and a sex worker, and he wasn't phased (he was in casual mode). I was used to being with men where i was very clearly in control, and i wasn't used to guys like my current partner... I'm naturally introverted, and he gives off a very extroverted vibe until you get to know him... i was feeling very damaged and deep, and he was ready for casual, fun vibes...
It's honestly a whole story. But when i left, i told him i never wanted to see him again (that's the only time I've ever said that to anybody). He was extremely disappointed and realized afterwards that he had really screwed up the vibe. He pursued me afterwards, saying that he hoped he hadn't ruined his chances. I told him that he had, indeed, ruined his chances. But he started courting me at that point. He'd bring me little gifts / treats at work, like food (my weak point), fancy chapstick, etc. He offered to cook me dinner for my birthday after i moved out on my own, and i acquiesced. He realized very quickly that i was kind of on a different level, and it was a level he wanted to be on. He was very scared early on, because he thought I'd drop him like a hot potato, and he was used to being the one who wanted to keep things casual. And there he was, wanting to be exclusive, wanting to move in...
Anyway, lol, that's the short of it...
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 04:50 PM
^ Thanks for reply as always. :)
I have really thought of this and we do talk very openly about everything so we have also discussed it openly ( the possibility that we are a " pandemic " fit but not a good long term one ). We talked about it and looked at so many angles . Together we made the choice to continue to go forward and keep trying . We enjoyed " the regular world " together !
I will openly admit though that I was in a phase of dating those " sugar daddies who don't know they are SD's " though ! I entered that phase with a better hearted intention that it probably sounds like ! The guys in my income range were not really as organized and swift with things like scheduling / not flaking / respecting time ! I felt like my time and energy was disrespected constantly so as an experiment I just tried much busier people. It worked and I was finding that I GOT ALONG WITH THEM SO MUCH BETTER .
I don't know how to explain it entirely but I was in a phase of experimenting for sure.
I have kind of sat myself down and had THAT convo too.
Like ..... playing suburbia does not seem to make me entirely happy lately .
I don't even know what WOULD which is why I'm entering my own therapy ( finally ! ) to explore.
I know that technically I'm in a good position too ( I have home equity to put 55% down on a NICER one ) .
I want to work with the personal therapist on that. I see these gains ( with logic ) but still wake up and feel angry often ........ I mean 90% of the time.
I am journaling / note taking heavily and playing with a lot of scenarios .
I think therapy could help us at a deeper level too because our ( former ) partners both abandoned US v.s. a mutual agreement or us leaving by choice ect. ! I think this is something to look at .
LOL!!! That sounds so familiar........
charlie61
01-10-2022, 04:52 PM
I guess what I want is just an acknowledgement that he didn't do " the best " with me in December.
I was trudging through a difficult depression and I think he added more stress because of not backing off of expectations .
But now out of the depression somewhat I can SEE why he didn't back off too ...... he didn't think that less time and less attention would help .
I feel I didn't get the support I needed and always felt alone and lost trying to claw my way out dark thoughts .
He sounds like someone who didn't know how to support you because he's never been through something like that before? Is he one of those people who doesn't experience anxiety or depression, ever, perhaps? My partner is like this, too. Which is a good thing in some ways, but can lead to some misunderstandings (they think depression is like a 'bad day," where you wake up fine the next morning).
Anyway, i feel like I'm totally threadjacking at this point!
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:55 PM
He's mad at me anyway I think today.
He hinted that I make dinner in this busy day ( that wouldn't have been overly busy if he wasn't planning to drive into snow tomorrow ) .
I declined.
As humans we can decline to do things we don't want to such as scheduling certain important appointments ect. !