View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 04:59 PM
Charlie : You were the ultimate chase because you didn't want to be chased lol !!
He couldn't resist !!
Obviously it moved beyond that thrill ( chase ) into deeper connection ! It's a sweet story.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 05:02 PM
His ex struggled too so maybe I assumed he would be *better* at this than your average person?
I can't decide whether to kind of continue raging about it or just let it go given that it's 70% better now anyway.
My depression is that way too.
I will have a horrible day sometimes and then a few good days.
I don’t know. Maybe I over reacted.
I mean you can’t really force therapy on someone....
Is he one of those people who doesn't experience anxiety or depression, ever, perhaps? My partner is like this, too. Which is a good thing in some ways, but can lead to some misunderstandings (they think depression is like a 'bad day," where you wake up fine the next morning).
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 05:46 PM
I decided to look up an old ex from college (I googled searched him in the past but found nothing)........he was the second guy I slept with and in fact had an 'open' relationship
I knew about a girlfriend he had from his home state and he knew about a guy I was actively involved with but I naively thought he'd leave her and I'd quit my dalliances and we'd both be together.
Well when he graduated, I loosely kept in touch but mainly forgot about him. A year or so after graduation I was in cali the same time as him and we met up. He creeped me out by not so subtly propositioning me for sex during our what I thought was innocent meet up. And I never talked to him again.
I didn't realize then like I did after that post college meetup that he was just manipulating me the entire time to have his cake and eat it too. He never left the ditzy girlfriend.
Anywho I finally found him on Whitepages and noticed that in fact he married that lady.
Oblivious that her 'man' was/is community dick.
When I found his Facebook profile I wanted to barf at all the 'family photos' and her clinging onto him. LOL
I blocked it because I couldn't stomach the hypocrisy, the fake image of fidelity, etc.
I'm sure he's probably STILL fucking off on her.
Anyways, he's a low-life scumbag and they deserve each other.
I wished I never went looking.
charlie61
01-10-2022, 05:47 PM
This is definitely a confession because i wouldn't say it to my partner, and it's super cheesy, but i feel like my partner kind of saved my life. I went from experiencing very little in life (and mostly being afraid of / disinterested in everything) to experiencing so many things that have taken my life to the next level... everything from generating significant passive income to going to concerts, restaurants, hiking, traveling, van camping, buying an expensive home (that's paying for itself in rental income and increasing property values)... i was so afraid to be with him when we first met because i knew i couldn't just sit back on the couch and be my usual, depressive self if i were in a relationship with him. And in taking the leap, i feel like I've won the lottery. I signed up for the ride, and I've never been happier.
charlie61
01-10-2022, 06:06 PM
I'm drinking champagne, watching IG reels, and just living my best life on my PTO day right now.
whirlerz
01-10-2022, 06:18 PM
I feel attacked on here.
Well have a nice day
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 06:22 PM
I should have refilled my secret edible collection today......
L is off tomorrow and I don't know if/how I'll be able to go to the CBD store without him noticing unless I make up some excuse as to why ill be gone for 45-60 min.
Hopefully he will be off doing manly tasks and/or self development so that he won't even notice my whereabouts.
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 06:23 PM
I feel attacked on here.
Well have a nice day
Are you talking about the dudes? .... on this forum?
Um yeah they can be aggressive trolls. they love the attention even if its negative.
indiegirl
01-10-2022, 06:32 PM
Charlie : You were the ultimate chase because you didn't want to be chased lol !!
He couldn't resist !!
Obviously it moved beyond that thrill ( chase ) into deeper connection ! It's a sweet story.
Seriously how it is when you watch romantic comedy movies and the guy is hypnotized by one girl who doesn't try at all. That's a lucky girl.
It has me baffled like how do I attract the worst men. None were perfect they were just looking for sex right away. I'm already paid for that so it is not needed.
If ya'll need a dog and this man thing doesn't work out for me, feel free to PM me if I wind up with a hundred dogs owning a dog rescue. I don't want to settle for just anyone. I get the worst men. LOL!
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 06:42 PM
^ There IS something to it ha.
It seems like formula is :
Don’t be totally ugly.
Don’t try with them at all.
I say it jokingly but I had a friend in high school like this too !
It seems like she just had *crazed* fan boys. It all seemed fueled by her ambivalence to not try at all in dating. She would just say no / carry on doing whatever !
Ha. I think she would converse 5-10 min. IF the guy brought weed!
indiegirl
01-10-2022, 06:48 PM
^ There IS something to it ha.
It seems like formula is :
Don’t be totally ugly.
Don’t try with them at all.
I say it jokingly but I had a friend in high school like this too !
It seems like she just had *crazed* fan boys. It all seemed fueled by her ambivalence to not try at all in dating. She would just say no / carry on doing whatever !
Ha.
Every single relationship I've been in is because I approached them or a few were online because they didn't have the balls in public. I dunno. One man called me intimidating like please. Is it my resting bitch face? I dunno.
It's scary approaching age 33 in May because most guys have had kids by then. I've been reading Miss.A.P's posts on L and his kids.. I think to myself how I could not handle that long term if it was not my child.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 06:53 PM
^ I could see men being scared to approach you !
I feel awkward in the house now. I was too lazy to drive to the AirBnB ( 30 min each way ) so I kind of hid upstairs to laze ! I do feel good after my lazy fest . Then I had to move downstairs so J could work out and now I have to move UP again to watch a show because they will be in the TV room !
I just figured out what is wrong with the damn house ! There are only TWO rooms I have access to with closing doors . One is our master bedroom ( where my little desk is but also where his home gym is ) and one is the theatre room downstairs. For a large house it could really use more doors for Audio minimizing !!
:/
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 06:58 PM
Every single relationship I've been in is because I approached them or a few were online because they didn't have the balls in public. I dunno. One man called me intimidating like please. Is it my resting bitch face? I dunno.
It's scary approaching age 33 in May because most guys have had kids by then. I've been reading Miss.A.P's posts on L and his kids.. I think to myself how I could not handle that long term if it was not my child.
Girl that shit is tough.
In order for it to work, a dude needs to have:
1. his ex Bertha in check
2. his kid(s) well behaved
3. disposable income (send the crumb snatchers off to camp, or wherever anytime you need a break and so they can be in activities that make them better contributors of society)
L is working on 1 & 3 but ideally you have a man if he has kids where he already has these 3 things in place
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 07:09 PM
^ Mine has the items in place but it's admittedly still very hard sometimes ( just having the scheduling limitation ).
Certain days are harder than others too. Today it has bothered me that we can not just crack in to the issues immediately after work wraps up. It's one of the harder days. Tomorrow they won't be in the house much. It will be easier I'm 99% sure !
I feel like I've come around to the therapy issue again and feel so desperate for it when I thought even just a couple hours ago I might be able to let it
Putting our stuff " on a shelf " for three days ( he is taking care of his kid during his days which he should be ) is still leaving it sitting on the shelf !
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 08:03 PM
Sorry for my Novella again lol
What provoked this is that I was trying some visualization work .
I was laying down this morning and thinking " Ok just picture moving THROUGH the day as if you didn't have all this anger " .
I was visualizing myself " setting it aside " and thinking of what it would look like to move through the day like that.
What came up was a sensation in a voice that said something like " HOW can I just set it aside? My partner doesn't work with me at all ".
At the start of the visualization I was not really thinking about my " coupled " self but just an individual trying to move through a day without so much anger.
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 08:26 PM
Since I started the novel I might as well write the final chapter ha.
I almost lost it with him about 48 hours ago. We had talked about removing photos of his ex from social media ( FB specifically ) and he said he would . I didn't check, I just trusted it was done ( probably talked about it 10 days ago ). I had an anxious moment when he was traveling to Vegas and wanted to check if the " still in relationship with C " thing was still there ( because my ex had removed HIS from public view and it was heart breaking ).
Well .... our relationship was still up but so were some of the pictures ! I could feel FIRE omg ! They are removed now. He just abandoned the project mid way ! I have no idea how I wasn't screaming at him. I have this thing about attempting to stay calm I guess ! I found that whole thing humiliating ( people that know us casually could click on photos to quickly get to know him and there were just so many ).
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 08:53 PM
^I don’t look at L’s Facebook.
I did once and it was a snooze fest.
One day he was like “I was scrolling through and saw my ex photo I forgot to delete”
I guess she was such a horror (in his words) that he couldn’t wait to tear up or delete her pics.
I could see how you’d be upset by it.
I think I made a thread about it titled “delete the evidence” lol! Mfs better delete the evidence of Bertha’s presence. Lol!
miss.a.p1600
01-10-2022, 09:13 PM
Seriously how it is when you watch romantic comedy movies and the guy is hypnotized by one girl who doesn't try at all. That's a lucky girl.
It has me baffled like how do I attract the worst men. None were perfect they were just looking for sex right away. I'm already paid for that so it is not needed.
If ya'll need a dog and this man thing doesn't work out for me, feel free to PM me if I wind up with a hundred dogs owning a dog rescue. I don't want to settle for just anyone. I get the worst men. LOL!
i went through a LONG stretch of attracting and dating the worst men.
Started getting wise, enforcing boundaries, and ditching them when they acted like complete users/abusers/fuckbois
being single and celibate helped tremendously.
I’m at the point where I truly think there is no purpose to be with men unless you are compensated (doesn’t always have to be money but your life should be enriched during the relationship AND after you leave them)
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 10:20 PM
Ha
Now after I did my tell all he is willing to set the damn appt. I guess.
It was a “ busy “ week so he wants next week.
Um ok... coulda said that so I didn’t have meltdowns and distractions today feeling stuck.
My ex betrayed me. So why would I have pictures up ?
His ex left ... so yeah take all pics down !
carmen_b
01-10-2022, 10:26 PM
^ Miss P: I’ll come back later to that thought ( enrichment ) because I feel the same !
My sexuality feels a little all over the place at times but I do always circle back to ... getting treated well ... yes that works for me !!
I honestly feel like sex work has given me an amazing life long gift that way. I am just legitimately grossed out by lackluster behavior so it saves a lot of time !!
indiegirl
01-11-2022, 10:34 AM
LMAO.....I saw a post on instagram from a past SW-er that had me rolling. Said something along the lines of "I thought the guy standing outside with pizza on a tray was handing out free samples so I took some. It was HIS pizza. I ate a strangers pizza. This was 5 years ago and I think about it every week."
I've been cackle laughing re-reading it hahahaha!!!
Totally reminds me of when someone has the bluetooth ear things in and says "Hello" and I would respond "Hi!" which would cause him to say over his phone call "Sorry! Someone thinks I'm talking to them." LOLLLL
I confess: I decided to change my picture to an older photo of me. I'm getting back to this shape and spray tanning instead of sunless wipe on starting in March :). I'll have time then when I'm focused on school to study at the gym like I used to. I can't just let myself not exercise with covid news going around for god knows how long missing out on life. I miss the machines!
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2022, 02:03 PM
^nice avatar pic!
carmen_b
01-11-2022, 03:02 PM
I feel bad because I'm glad to have the house to myself again. :)
He's headed up to the mountain with daughter and they will stay the night ( totally not a waste of $ lol ) .
Anyway ...... 24 hours at house to self is nice.
I HATE being around during " packing " process type mode but didn't fully avoid it.
My lunch and gym time only got me so far and left about 15-20 minutes of noise.
Had to spy hotel price. $158 is really not that bad !
charlie61
01-11-2022, 03:07 PM
I feel bad because I'm glad to have the house to myself again. :)
He's headed up to the mountain with daughter and they will stay the night ( totally not a waste of $ lol ) .
Anyway ...... 24 hours at house to self is nice.
I HATE being around during " packing " process type mode but didn't fully avoid it.
My lunch and gym time only got me so far and left about 15-20 minutes of noise.
Had to spy hotel price. $158 is really not that bad !
I'm the same. Cannot stand being around the packing and leaving process for trips I'm not attending. I thought i was the only one until you mentioned this a while ago!
carmen_b
01-11-2022, 03:07 PM
I don't really necessarily *want* to part ways with my partner but I feel like if I happen to I will be one of those ladies that just openly hates men and doesn't date ( think the comedian Katherine Ryan for example ). Ha.
Not even *hate* I guess ....... but I feel like you'd really have to sell yourself as contributing to a better life and QUICKLY !
I'd get straight to the point ( curious what type of house they lived in / wanting info about schedule and expectations ) hahaha.
carmen_b
01-11-2022, 03:11 PM
Yes, I had my dog in the car and I was totally going to stop and just wander with doggie until I was *sure* they were gone . I didn't see him yet today at all so I felt guilty .
I felt like if I went past 2 hours and 15 min. for gym and lunch he would know I was hiding hahaha.
I tolerated 15 min. or so of noise for that one goodbye hug !
I'm the same. Cannot stand being around the packing and leaving process for trips I'm not attending. I thought i was the only one until you mentioned this a while ago!
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2022, 03:39 PM
I feel bad because I'm glad to have the house to myself again. :)
He's headed up to the mountain with daughter and they will stay the night ( totally not a waste of $ lol ) .
Anyway ...... 24 hours at house to self is nice.
I HATE being around during " packing " process type mode but didn't fully avoid it.
My lunch and gym time only got me so far and left about 15-20 minutes of noise.
Had to spy hotel price. $158 is really not that bad !
24 hours sounds nice. I wish L would take an overnight trip but he has this mindset of “I need to be home with my wife” and stays rushing back.
In my mind I’m thinking “please stay as long as you need”
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2022, 03:49 PM
i confess that my blood boils when I see these people on hoarders.
They don’t take care of their property, they collect so much stuff often times to the point they can’t take care of their children, they hoard animals and don’t take care of them properly, then when people help them clean the mess up, they act like 12 year olds and have meltdowns.
Bitch clean that shit up!
carmen_b
01-11-2022, 04:19 PM
^ Yes , it was honestly becoming a problem. Due to his covid paranoia he would just have himself and daughter at the house constantly.
Now she has the shots and it has been much better. I was FEARING it wouldn't be good enough and he would still be doing weird behaviors but he has been getting out !
They went to Vegas last week and it was SO NICE ( two days )!
carmen_b
01-11-2022, 04:21 PM
Omg my day job customers are doing that " busy club " vibe.
There are SO many inquiries and I have just been talking to people all day.
Someone actually BUY please. I don't get paid just for this talking portion.
Thank you.
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2022, 04:54 PM
^i had a prospective client today
Showed her one of the cheapest plans I offer
And the bitch was like let me decide/call me next week ….. whilst talking non mf stop.
In my mind I’m thinking “look heaux if you’re not going to buy please stop fucking talking right now because you are wasting my time”
carmen_b
01-11-2022, 05:16 PM
^ yes , this person wants to book on a peak time so I immediately send info ( contract + exactly how to book ) and suggest they do it right away.
Ha , I'm not lying. It's a PEAK day. Take it or don't.
I just stopped replying. They have the info .
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2022, 06:40 PM
I should have refilled my secret edible collection today......
L is off tomorrow and I don't know if/how I'll be able to go to the CBD store without him noticing unless I make up some excuse as to why ill be gone for 45-60 min.
Hopefully he will be off doing manly tasks and/or self development so that he won't even notice my whereabouts.
Didnt get a chance to refill my cbd and edible collection
I’ve been clear-eyed for 24 hours and I feel less creative, less motivated, and just blah
Cant wait to re-up tomorrow
LoveyD
01-11-2022, 08:43 PM
If I don't have my edibles, my cptsd gets out of control. I've been trying to meditate more, and cutting caffeine and working out has really been helping a lot.
miss.a.p1600
01-11-2022, 08:55 PM
I confess.
Today L reminisced about his ex wife and how he resented how much she needed him and how he felt like she was just another dependent and he felt like he had 3 kids instead of 2.
You married a bitch with no job, no work ethic AND impregnated her twice. Wtf do you expect?!?!?
I started feeling resentful towards him for making this comment. But it let me know we’re not on the same page despite him claiming “Ill take care of us”.
No you won’t. You can’t right now. And even if you could you’d probably resent me like you resented her.
Plus how can you feel resentful for “3” dependents yet if I acquiesced to your desire to have a kid THAT would be 3 dependents.
Anyways, I’m not backing down on my perspective of men being providers and not needing women to help them pay bills. If the women want to pay bills that’s fine. But men *needing* women financially is just not acceptable to me.
What can I say, I have old school type values.
charlie61
01-11-2022, 09:04 PM
^You nailed it with this, girl: "No you won’t. You can’t right now. And even if you could you’d probably resent me like you resented her."
miss.a.p1600
01-12-2022, 08:57 AM
L took a coronavirus test.
I was hoping it was positive so he could quarantine and make my job a lot easier. Lol!
miss.a.p1600
01-12-2022, 09:53 AM
I confess.
I login to stripper webs like a gazillion times a day. Probably more than the moderators. And maybe more than the male trolls.
I think I’m addicted.
It’s not good and I should take a SW break.
carmen_b
01-12-2022, 10:01 AM
^ Haha. I know I need to back off too. I do try to only open it a couple times a day BUT I have intermittent downtime at day job ( so the computer is just there ) hahaha. Damn it.
carmen_b
01-12-2022, 10:04 AM
Today is a heavy " me " day lol.
Gym about 11:15 , then get ready for day.
counseling 1 p.m. ( I'm nervous as it's the first in person session with someone new )
Then massage at 3:40
It might be a little excessive but sometimes we just need to take care of ourselves .
^ I really don't want to miss any of the above things.
GlamLifter
01-12-2022, 10:14 AM
It might be a little excessive but sometimes we just need to take care of ourselves .
Yes! And it’s very underrated :) If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others either.
indiegirl
01-12-2022, 10:57 AM
Sometimes I miss the whole idea of dancing in Vegas and going there a lot and returning back to Cali the next day but then I remember the part where I actually have to make money, tip everyone out, house fee, work politics, and inhale secondhand cigarette smoke and think "mehhhh I'll pass!"
charlie61
01-12-2022, 11:13 AM
I confess.
I login to stripper webs like a gazillion times a day. Probably more than the moderators. And maybe more than the male trolls.
I think I’m addicted.
It’s not good and I should take a SW break.
Same. What i do take a break from is posting so much. I can tell when fellow members are getting a little sick of my posting, so i try to back off a little, lol. True story. We're all up in each other's business all of the time on here, so it makes sense that we'd step on some toes occasionally.
carmen_b
01-12-2022, 11:46 AM
OMG me toooooooooo.
I had the ultimate " terrible " Vegas experience last time BUT I have had good ones too. Ugh !
You are literally gambling with your time, energy, LUNGS , ect. !!
It is SUCH a hard city to work in ( overall in my opinion ) .
Gimme that cozy dive bar in a random town ( non smoking please ) .
Then the flip side ( with the right mindset ) is that you can go in kind of LOOKING at it like a gamble and sometimes you do win !!! That's why it's addicting omg. I don't think my overall averages are ANY higher than ANY other random city either ( for those thinking of the place as the ultimate fountain of money ). For me it was on my sex worker bucket list. I basically HAD to go and get licensed . Even if I only made $100 in profit after all the hassle it was something I had to have. Now the itch is scratched. It turned into a burning wound of nonsense ( fighting with my partner over the last shift , HATING the last shift anyway , ect. ) !
Sometimes I miss the whole idea of dancing in Vegas and going there a lot and returning back to Cali the next day but then I remember the part where I actually have to make money, tip everyone out, house fee, work politics, and inhale secondhand cigarette smoke and think "mehhhh I'll pass!"
miss.a.p1600
01-12-2022, 11:58 AM
I should be working but COVID threats has me feeling anxious so not only did I have to go procure some edibles but I am waiting till said edibles kick in while I watch Little Women
I can’t believe what’s her face is still with Matt. That fool was cheating on her constantly and he is the ultimate clout chaser.
Aurora_Sunset
01-13-2022, 01:28 PM
I threw away one of husband's shirts today without telling him. I usually wouldn't do something like that, but I have been begging and asking him to get rid of this ratty-ass shirt for months now, and he always complains and says no. It's not sentimental or even a pretty shirt. It's a generic, solid red t-shirt. It's had a huge hole in one of the armpits for months, and now it has them in both armpits. He has no interest in fixing it. He just wears it around the house on his days off CONSTANTLY. It's so ugly. It's not like he's lacking for t-shirts. I'm sick of washing and putting away this stupid hobo shirt. There is zero reason for him to keep it. If it's just about the color, I'll buy him another fucking red shirt.
Aurora_Sunset
01-13-2022, 01:32 PM
I wonder if work will be mad at me for skipping today. I felt like I needed an introvert vacation from my vacation. But I do know they were trying to schedule new training for me probably today. They never officially said it would for sure be today, but pretty sure that's what they were planning on.
Oh well. I'm not excited about this new position anyway. I'm feeling the familiar anxiety that I get any time I start to potentially move up in a job, like I'm "settling" into a life I don't really want and feel like I need to run away before I get stuck somewhere and drift even further from my real dreams in life.
It didn't help my feelings toward work that I had to argue with HR for 20 minutes on Friday to take me off the schedule for mandatory OT on Tuesday because I already had a trip planned and vacation time approved. They were less than accommodating about it, and he was kind of a jerk. I eventually made him talk to someone else and won my argument, but it shouldn't have been that damn difficult in the first place.
indiegirl
01-13-2022, 01:56 PM
So glad I have two dogs. There are days when they play with each other for hours instead of me having to put in any effort to entertain them and I try to stay as quiet and not move as much as possible so they wear each other out hahaha. I have to go to the bathroom but I just don't want mister needy dog to stalk me if I get up and disturb this free exercise I don't have to pay a dog walker for.
My stalker was staring at me yesterday before work wanting to cuddle on the bed bahaha. He has to be allowed on the bed so he'll just stand there like a creepo waiting! lol
https://i.ibb.co/34CPfN0/66371636446-7-B8-C069-A-BCF0-4696-BB0-B-75-E3921-B11-D0.jpg (https://ibb.co/34CPfN0)
kimbe
01-13-2022, 02:08 PM
I wonder if work will be mad at me for skipping today. I felt like I needed an introvert vacation from my vacation. But I do know they were trying to schedule new training for me probably today. They never officially said it would for sure be today, but pretty sure that's what they were planning on.
Sometimes you just have to do what you feel like! :)
kimbe
01-13-2022, 02:23 PM
It’s not good and I should take a SW break.
Please don't, I enjoy your posts! :)