Log in

View Full Version : Confessions Thread!



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 [386] 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426

indiegirl
01-25-2022, 11:46 PM
oh god! 500 cals and adderall? glad you came out of that ok...i tried probably something similar, eating mostly plain lettuce, celery, some egg whites, one apple a day, green tea with only zero calorie sweetener, an hour on the treadmill....i finally fainted and smacked my face against a stool to get me the message...most of what ive learned since then is for losing weight is keep calories about 500 below what you normally need and eat good fruits and veggies and a decent amount of protein.

Yep the body can only handle so much until it is done!

I have a high tolerance for pain but geesh I am grateful I left college because I was literally killing myself with 40mg of adderall xr and 2 bowls of cereal a day. I have no idea how I survived off my ED I had since I was 9 yrs old. My worst moment was 108lbs at 5'7". But damn that weight felt good. I shouldn't be thinking about this. Wild to me, I came home from college and was told by multiple people I looked emaciated yet Hollister approached me in the store and wanted to hire me as one of their store models. Times have totally changed.

Thank god for dancing....made me realize all sorts of different weights and body types are beautiful.

Aurora_Sunset
01-26-2022, 03:15 PM
Me keeping to my set meal plan has been "starting next week" all month lol At least I meal-prepped my lunches and dinners for this week. If I could just get myself up early enough to eat the proper breakfast that I have planned instead of sleeping in and then grabbing mini donuts at work. I also need to stop buying candy. It's my major weakness.

chanzep
01-26-2022, 07:16 PM
I am planning a detox eating plan I won't do until after Superbowl lol.
My sleeping pattern is messed up since I spent the 1st 2 weeks of the year on medication that effects your sleeping.
If course me sitting here drinking green tea late doesn't help but sometimes I need green tea. Smh.

GlamLifter
01-27-2022, 07:42 AM
Fell asleep again in the tanning bed today, but now I had the alarm set..

indiegirl
01-27-2022, 11:06 AM
I'm ready to rip the large piggie dog toy out of their fucking dog toy box because it has both the squeak and crinkly toy feature. That toy should've been destroyed by now but here we are a month later in disbelief hearing that thing crackle and make squeaky noises at all hours along with the tug of war the dogs have. They pull that damn toy out at midnight or 2am like everything is cool when I'm exhausted.

https://i.ibb.co/FKnKNfR/IMG-4241.jpg (https://ibb.co/FKnKNfR)

Anyways, grocery delivery has commenced wahoo. I need a nap after this.

carmen_b
01-27-2022, 04:47 PM
I feel nervous that I am not going to make as much in Jan. as I was hoping. :/

It's not over till it's over though. Still 4.5 more days !

WendiStarr
01-28-2022, 05:24 AM
BD left a duffle bag on the floor for whatever reason and my youngest was attracted by it. She does the same with my purse which is why I always have to keep it hidden up high somewhere. I thought it was an empty bag until she pulled out a bottle of cholesterol pills and condom wrappers. After I put the pills up out of reach, I took the condom wrappers and taped them to the inside of his work laptop. If he really is going in-person to the office he's going to be in for a surprise and be embarrassed if co-workers happen to be around and see that. I don't give a fuck. He's been starting the whole "I've changed and want to just be a family man and be true to you for the rest of my life" crap, when I know it's a lie because the fool can't tell the truth about anything, even pointless shit. Like when he said he was going to go get his haircut but in reality, he contacted someone about buying something from them and meeting up to buy it, at the time he told me that he had a haircut appointment or when he said that he was going to the grocery store and came back with few groceries and a bar receipt that looked like he stopped for a burger and one beer.

Secret Shelly
01-28-2022, 09:34 AM
Today is one of the mandatory being on site day at work...no working remote...the one good thing is being around the super friendly and super cute supervisor of another team...flirt mode activated lol (sorry to my gf, though she totally gets it)

LoveyD
01-28-2022, 12:07 PM
BD left a duffle bag on the floor for whatever reason and my youngest was attracted by it. She does the same with my purse which is why I always have to keep it hidden up high somewhere. I thought it was an empty bag until she pulled out a bottle of cholesterol pills and condom wrappers. After I put the pills up out of reach, I took the condom wrappers and taped them to the inside of his work laptop. If he really is going in-person to the office he's going to be in for a surprise and be embarrassed if co-workers happen to be around and see that. I don't give a fuck. He's been starting the whole "I've changed and want to just be a family man and be true to you for the rest of my life" crap, when I know it's a lie because the fool can't tell the truth about anything, even pointless shit. Like when he said he was going to go get his haircut but in reality, he contacted someone about buying something from them and meeting up to buy it, at the time he told me that he had a haircut appointment or when he said that he was going to the grocery store and came back with few groceries and a bar receipt that looked like he stopped for a burger and one beer.

I'm so glad you see through his shit. He's hoovering in hopes to secure you as his "supply" again. You know if you go back, it'll be only worse. Hopefully he'll have an audience at work when he goes to open his laptop lol!!

JessaJade
01-28-2022, 01:15 PM
I've been charging my ex for sex for the past couple of years now. I have no feelings for him whatsoever and find it really strange that he can enjoy it so much, even though I usually only put in a half-hearted performance. I think he's such an emotionally empty person that he doesn't really notice.

miss.a.p1600
01-28-2022, 02:18 PM
I saw my weekly schedule from waaay back and realized that I don’t want L trying to use me to pawn his kids off because he doesn’t know how to say NO to that dusty Bertha.

No sir.

I’ll be out doing me, living my best life.

I’ve successfully avoided him and his kids when it was necessary

I refuse to allow Bertha and co. to encroach on my valuable time.

Aurora_Sunset
01-28-2022, 05:56 PM
I feel bad that I've really been checked-out from my stepkids recently. I've never been the super-engaged "I love kids" stepmom, but usually I would have at least some weekends where I didn't mind them being here, and would end up having a lot of fun with them.

But recently, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed their visits. Usually, the second I start a new week and realize that the weekend coming up is their weekend to be here, I spend all week dreading it. It's like a huge weight is lifted off my chest once they leave and I know they won't be back for almost 2 weeks. That makes me feel terrible to think. It's not like they're bad when they're here or anything, I just do not have the mental patience to deal with kids in my space. I can't deal with the insistence on watching stupid youtube videos or being all up in my personal space demanding we do makeup and hair or do some half-assed version of a craft. I get tired just thinking about coming home and immediately having people in my face, demanding time and attention. Sometimes I even feel that way about my husband if he's awake and perky when I get home from work. And the MESS, I cannot stand. When my mental health is trashed, being around constant mess just makes it worse.

Lately, I've been trying to minimize my time with them as much as possible - going to bed early on Friday, trying to slink off to the bedroom while they're distracted on Saturday night, and then running errands most of Sunday - so that I maybe end up with 3 solid hours of entertaining them on Sunday before they leave again. I try my best to act engaged when I do play with them, and not let on how tired and bored I am. But mentally, I am not there.

carmen_b
01-28-2022, 06:19 PM
^ I have to ask ..... because I thought your situation had you guys doing weekly exchanges ..... are they only there 4 days a month ?

Oh I'm super jealous if so .

I think you are just talking about the weekend range of their week long visit but now I’m curious.

whirlerz
01-28-2022, 06:53 PM
BD left a duffle bag on the floor for whatever reason and my youngest was attracted by it. She does the same with my purse which is why I always have to keep it hidden up high somewhere. I thought it was an empty bag until she pulled out a bottle of cholesterol pills and condom wrappers. After I put the pills up out of reach, I took the condom wrappers and taped them to the inside of his work laptop. If he really is going in-person to the office he's going to be in for a surprise and be embarrassed if co-workers happen to be around and see that. I don't give a fuck. He's been starting the whole "I've changed and want to just be a family man and be true to you for the rest of my life" crap, when I know it's a lie because the fool can't tell the truth about anything, even pointless shit. Like when he said he was going to go get his haircut but in reality, he contacted someone about buying something from them and meeting up to buy it, at the time he told me that he had a haircut appointment or when he said that he was going to the grocery store and came back with few groceries and a bar receipt that looked like he stopped for a burger and one beer.

Good for you, Wendi!
Hugs Girlie

Aurora_Sunset
01-29-2022, 04:38 AM
^ I have to ask ..... because I thought your situation had you guys doing weekly exchanges ..... are they only there 4 days a month ?

Oh I'm super jealous if so .

I think you are just talking about the weekend range of their week long visit but now I’m curious.

We don't do weekly exchanges. They used to come over 1-2 days during the week in addition to their every other Fri-Sun over here, but ever since my husband went back to school about a year ago, the weekly visits had to be put on pause. Now, we're on a "typical divorced dad" schedule of just every other weekend.

It really does come out to only about 4-6 full days a month, unless we take them an extra day/night due to bio-mom's plans or a holiday from school or something, so I really shouldn't complain. That makes me feel even more terrible when I think about it, because it's not even that many days that they're here! I should be able to not only handle it, but look forward to the limited time I get to spend with these kids, like their dad does, but instead I dread it.

(btw, not saying you made me feel bad thinking about the few days a month, but it's something I think about often anyway lol)

miss.a.p1600
01-29-2022, 06:35 AM
I feel bad that I've really been checked-out from my stepkids recently. I've never been the super-engaged "I love kids" stepmom, but usually I would have at least some weekends where I didn't mind them being here, and would end up having a lot of fun with them.

But recently, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed their visits. Usually, the second I start a new week and realize that the weekend coming up is their weekend to be here, I spend all week dreading it. It's like a huge weight is lifted off my chest once they leave and I know they won't be back for almost 2 weeks. That makes me feel terrible to think. It's not like they're bad when they're here or anything, I just do not have the mental patience to deal with kids in my space. I can't deal with the insistence on watching stupid youtube videos or being all up in my personal space demanding we do makeup and hair or do some half-assed version of a craft. I get tired just thinking about coming home and immediately having people in my face, demanding time and attention. Sometimes I even feel that way about my husband if he's awake and perky when I get home from work. And the MESS, I cannot stand. When my mental health is trashed, being around constant mess just makes it worse.

Lately, I've been trying to minimize my time with them as much as possible - going to bed early on Friday, trying to slink off to the bedroom while they're distracted on Saturday night, and then running errands most of Sunday - so that I maybe end up with 3 solid hours of entertaining them on Sunday before they leave again. I try my best to act engaged when I do play with them, and not let on how tired and bored I am. But mentally, I am not there.

This is how I feel.

I think at least for me the problem is my dude expects me to go above and beyond for some kids he doesn’t even hold their own mother to the same standards.

The bitch takes barely any responsibility for those kids.

I refuse to self sacrifice myself to that level. You want to self sacrifice for your ex wife then do you boo. But I’m not going above and beyond for some dead weight who is fully capable.

Plus I’m an introvert and these kids have unlimited energy, endless questions, nonstop conversations, and no concept of time.

When I’m done from work, I want to chill and have quiet time. And L is too cheap to put them in activities or send them to someone else like aunts uncles grandparents house.

He also stupidly and voluntarily takes on more than 50% (it just further enables Bertha and she does NOTHING beyond the bare minimum to help him) and pays her more than he’s require to do.

We can take care of your kids together (since you claim your sooo hands on) but I’m not letting you drop those kids off with me especially with no compensation - and paying my portion of rent (that you’d pay even if I wasn’t here) doesn’t count as compensation

miss.a.p1600
01-29-2022, 06:49 AM
I got a check from one of my wealthy family members and L was like “did you get the check?”

I wish I had a man who was more financially secure and didn’t need to watch my money.

miss.a.p1600
01-29-2022, 08:34 AM
I don’t want to go “home” this weekend.

I need a break from L, his unrealistic expectations, his baggage, and his pissy ass attitude.

carmen_b
01-29-2022, 09:11 AM
Aurora :
I am definitely jealous of the 4-6 days but another thing to consider is that you still have YOUR schedule you know ?
I can see why you still need time for yourself during those timeframes even if they are more limited !
Also giving him time with just them during the range doesn't really hurt anyone.
It's probably good he has some time with just them.

It can be such a hard balance to strike for sure . I feel guilt too over the times I'm less involved but I would really unhappy for sure if I was pushed into more involvement ( than an average of twice a week personally ). I don't really understand the stereotype of the " overly involved " step mom either unless it's a widowing situation. Like .... the kids has two parents already . You are literally an " extra " figure ( the word step includes it in the language ) . Striking a balance can have guilt creep up for sure.

carmen_b
01-29-2022, 09:16 AM
You should talk to your family about wanting some discretion about $ matters.
Then you can put the checks away without him seeing.
Or see if they can even transfer it discreetly into an account so it doesn't arrive in paper form.

I hope you get some relief from L.
I kind of read him as " squeaky wheel guy " .
Like .... your Mom / the mess Ex ...... they whine and squeak and so they are the ones getting the effort.
This is not good. I have no idea what to do with that info because I imagine you don't want to level up YOUR whining game . You want to not have to ! He needs to learn to ignore the loudest whiners. They are not HIS partner. :/


I got a check from one of my wealthy family members and L was like “did you get the check?”

I wish I had a man who was more financially secure and didn’t need to watch my money.

carmen_b
01-29-2022, 09:24 AM
^ Your " whine" might need to be the loudest in this upcoming week !
Announce that he had BETTER create 3.5 completely quiet days at your house ( for 50/50 fairness ) and if he doesn't there will be hell to pay.

Aurora_Sunset
01-29-2022, 08:42 PM
Aurora :
I am definitely jealous of the 4-6 days but another thing to consider is that you still have YOUR schedule you know ?
I can see why you still need time for yourself during those timeframes even if they are more limited !
Also giving him time with just them during the range doesn't really hurt anyone.
It's probably good he has some time with just them.

It can be such a hard balance to strike for sure . I feel guilt too over the times I'm less involved but I would really unhappy for sure if I was pushed into more involvement ( than an average of twice a week personally ). I don't really understand the stereotype of the " overly involved " step mom either unless it's a widowing situation. Like .... the kids has two parents already . You are literally an " extra " figure ( the word step includes it in the language ) . Striking a balance can have guilt creep up for sure.

For sure. I think one of the things that bugs me most is that there is a boy and a girl and they are very stereotypical about their interests - aka: boy is into video games and nerf gun battles, girl is into makeup/hair/dress-up/crafts. The thing is, I have NEVER been a girly-girl and I suck ass at arts and crafts. I have way more in common with the boy and his interests than the girl, but there is a consistent expectation that I endlessly entertain the girl because she wants to do "girl stuff." I'm not only not anymore interested in her "girly" activities than my husband is, but I don't know a DAMN thing more about them than he would. It is literally embarrassing how NOT girly I am when it comes to knowing about any of this stuff. But I'm just supposed to "figure it out" and grin and bear it, because I'm the woman. His ass can Youtube stuff too, but it's always me, trying to keep up with learning what she wants to do. I've told my husband multiple times that sometimes I would like to sit and play 2 hours of video games with the boy while he entertains the girl with craft-time, but he just laughs, like that's ridiculous. I hate this gendered expectation that I'm supposed to act interested and engaged in all that stuff just because I'm a woman, and he gets a free pass from it all day until I'm home, because he's a man.

All this to say, I would happily leave him to have his own alone Dad time with them, but he won't step in when daughter starts wanting to do girly stuff. And if I say I would like a break, he'll guilt trip off to the side about how she's missed me, because she has "no one else" to do this stuff with when I'm not home. Anyway... that's just one thing I think tires me out and makes me resentful.

But yes, I agree that step-parents don't NEED to be overly involved. I think this "social media" push of "step parents should act EXACTLY like bio parents/treat the kids EXACTLY as though they were their own" is kinda BS. The reality is that no matter how involved I am or how much responsibility I take, I will always lack the decision-making power of the biological parents, and will always only be allowed to play to the level that bio-mom allows without me "stepping on her toes." All the responsibility, expectations, and blame without any of the actual power over their upbringing. It's really a shitty double-standard. I was reading a book awhile ago about step-parenting that said that it's perfectly valid to decide that your step-parenting strategy/involvement could be more like an involved aunt or close family friend. I would be happier in that type of role, but it sounds shitty to bio-mom, and probably on some level to my husband, to admit that.

Anyway, just me ranting. I want to show up for them, but sometimes I feel like it needs to be in a different way. Or I just need to get my mental health in fucking check lol

Aurora_Sunset
01-29-2022, 09:14 PM
My farts smell so bad tonight. I try to keep them trapped under the blanket I'm wearing so they don't drive my husband out of the room, but they still sloooowly waft up through the front of the blanket directly into my face when I do that. The pain lasts even longer than if I just let them air out lol I don't know what I ate to do this. I'm gonna blame it on PMS.

Aurora_Sunset
01-29-2022, 09:46 PM
One more confession about my step-kid stress... I think one thing that really stresses me out is the future. I can look at my stepkids' current behavior and the environment that bio-mom and stepdad mostly provide (they're both immature psychopaths that I honestly don't think have any business being around kids - especially stepdad, holy shit). I KNOW when these kids hit teens, they are gonna have a rough time and be a nightmare. I can basically already see step-daughter having an eating disorder - might rant more in-depth about that at another time. And I can see step-son having BIG issues with his violent, overly-controlling stepdad once he gets bigger than him (and he WILL be, soon). I already have a feeling that stepson will come to live with us in the future once it becomes apparent that he cannot continue co-existing with dickhead. I really worry about stepdaughter's mental health and the type of things she will focus on as being important. I'm starting to understand that notion that goes around where women sometimes want to have sons more than daughters, because they know what it's like to be a teen/young woman and will constantly worry about them. At least you have some ignorance when it comes to what dumb young men do??

I feel powerless over the paths they're taking. I really feel like their most-involved parents are fucking them up. I feel like it's gonna catch up with them and screw them up and screw them over. I hate that I feel like I have no control over it. I hate thinking about dealing with the fallout when they're older, when I can literally already see some of the problems developing, and if I had any control over the situation, I could try to help them and correct it, at least a little. Not only do I see their personalities/behaviors becoming shitty and their lives becoming rough because of things outside their control, but I'm gonna be just as stressed as any of the other adults when it comes to the consequences of their crummy upbringing. I hate it for both myself and them. I can't stop worrying about the future for/with them.

Aurora_Sunset
01-30-2022, 07:16 AM
With the weather that’s coming here Wednesday and Thursday, I really hope work ends up sending us home early on Wednesday and giving us a paid snow day on Thursday like they did for a big storm last year.

But now that I’m getting my hopes up, the dang weather will probably change in the next few days to the storm shifting and going right around us like most of the winter weather has done all season so far lol

Secret Shelly
01-30-2022, 07:26 AM
Aurora reading about what's going on with you and your step-kids legit made me cry this morning...their situation sucks no question, but at least that have you in their lives...maybe you don't have much of the power to guide them but what little you do have could make all the difference.

carmen_b
01-30-2022, 08:32 AM
Aurora : ^ At times though it doesn't seem they are *too* off track ( your step kids ) !
I see how you could get nervous with them not having good examples 80% of the time.
I know what you mean about wanting to see behavior corrections .

I see it in my own situation too. My partner does very little to try to help his daughter gain independence ( something I consider important in kids ) . It's subtle. It's just *little* things like she will be off playing quietly for 30 minutes ( great that is progress because it was like 8-10 minutes max last year ) and instead of letting it just go to 45-60 minutes he can't help himself ...... he has to go poke around at minute number 31 haha and insert himself by checking in. He has a " helicopter" style and I get grossed out by it because I was super independent as a kid. At her age ( 9 ) I already had a business that I was dealing with after school lol. I know times are different but I remember at that age I could pack up my little back pack and wander around / find friends to play with ect. ! It can be hard to watch parents be overly protective ( in my opinion ) but admittedly our neighboorhood isn't super walking friendly either.

Something that has irritated me before is that he made a comment once about his ex " just letting daughter wander " ( in her very safe condo area with play stuff around it ). I'm listening but 100% agreeing with the ex on the subject.

I feel you on not being to have the actual power to DO much .
Like ..... if you are very very involved that is NOT overstepping.
I'll accept the power to not do much since I'm more lightly involved.

miss.a.p1600
01-30-2022, 09:29 AM
^L is the same way.

His daughter is extra clingy and can’t self entertain herself for longer than a few minutes

I’m like look kid…. Take this coloring book or whatever and sit down and stfu and do not come out till no less than one hour.

This is the shitty part of dealing with other peoples kids who weren’t raised right by their own parents and now it’s like if you try to regulate and make them better, their parents have a problem.

That’s why I’m for sending them to camps, grandparents, etx. The less regulation I have to deal with the better for my sanity

miss.a.p1600
01-30-2022, 09:31 AM
I also feel like these men with kids need to compensate us more for being excellent stepmothers.

It’s like look dude.

I’m not doing your ex wife’s job because I didn’t create these kids and I can’t regulate on them to correct their incorrect behaviors so if you want a full time super involved step mom

Then you need to compensate me WELL. Pay all these damn bills. Every last one of them. Plus my investment and retirements.

Then and only then will I step in and do more. Until then, as long as your ex-wife is able bodied and mentally competent (which I am questioning her and L’s intelligence levels), you won’t get a second of free childcare labor out of me.

carmen_b
01-30-2022, 09:34 AM
^ It can be hard when your own style differs. In those situation I'm talking about I don't actually SAY to him to back off ..... but I'm thinking it.
Like .... let her grow up. She is 9. She should be 100% fine playing and entertaining herself for a full hour.
Like it's HIM ruining the hour of quiet not her haha.

carmen_b
01-30-2022, 09:38 AM
I do honestly think there is some truth to it.
I don't expect outright compensation ( I have enough for my own investing ) .
What works in some level of spoiling ( ME ) in exchange for just my tolerance of his difficult schedule.
You take a no kids person ( with a remote schedule 80% of the time ) and I'm giving up A LOT . I now have schedule constraints where we need to be in town three days a week ( more really if you count the day traveling back ) that i didn't have before.


I also feel like these men with kids need to compensate us more for being excellent stepmothers.

indiegirl
01-31-2022, 12:53 PM
I'm putting on Planet Earth on netflix again to nap. Crap I just can't nap!!!

Also I did some car laps around the neighborhood feeling like my old self! I'm driving full time starting in March. But it felt nice driving. I only did it because I was told to do so to maintain the battery if I'm not driving at least 2 times a week.

Selina M
01-31-2022, 02:03 PM
I feel like the worst child ever. My mom broke her hip a few weeks ago & they only let her stay in a rehab for 2 weeks. I have been so overwhelmed and stressed out and just plain sad, between adapting to my own malfunctioning body, my animals all rotating getting sick, SO gone and not able to contact me, and having no income presently (since I cannot seem to drag my ass back to the club).

The idea of having to pack up my dogs & myself and go stay in her sweltering hot, no A/C, no internet house (which is my childhood home and frankly I want nothing to do with the area because the memories are painful) and be forced to socialize 24/7 was the least appealing thing I could think of, so I convinced her to stay with my aunt. To be fair, my aunt has a much more accessible house for a walker & works from home.

But yeah, I'm anticipating her calling me today and saying she's ready to go home & still needs me to come stay. And I feel bad for not wanting to do it and like everyone is judging me for not being more 'present' with the process. Sigh. I'm going to hell.

indiegirl
01-31-2022, 02:28 PM
I did a cringe worthy smile when my new female booker said "Please be on time".....I hate being on time. Oh well! LOL :). She's super nice. I'm being on time this round to show I'm more mature. I still couldn't sleep. I'm waiting on zelle, setting my alarm and taking a nap to be professional.

Aurora_Sunset
01-31-2022, 04:57 PM
I really want pizza tonight but I just went through my budget for January and I already overspent, mostly on food/eating out. Blah. I don’t have anything exciting at home.

Aurora_Sunset
01-31-2022, 05:03 PM
With the weather that’s coming here Wednesday and Thursday, I really hope work ends up sending us home early on Wednesday and giving us a paid snow day on Thursday like they did for a big storm last year.

But now that I’m getting my hopes up, the dang weather will probably change in the next few days to the storm shifting and going right around us like most of the winter weather has done all season so far lol

Well, work has already sent out a text saying to keep an eye out for updates on closures and make sure we have transportation planned for if they close early any days this week. Yaaasss. I’m not stupid enough to think they care about us, but if the trucks can’t drive on the roads, then they have no need for us. The ice that is going to accumulate makes me think that’s a strong possibility.

miss.a.p1600
01-31-2022, 06:32 PM
Exchanging money for love has its drawbacks.

One is I have had to decline multiple financial offers from my wealthy family because I want them to know that my partner can take care of me and not have to rely on my family for anything.

He said he thought that if he told her to compensate me (for my time helping/dealing with her and my mom)she might think he is desperate and can’t provide well which will be a turn off.

Well wealthy people already know your status so you’re not fooling anyone plus you really could be operating a your full potential if your believed it and stop letting that Bertha bitch hold you down.

carmen_b
01-31-2022, 07:13 PM
^ At least he is being self aware enough to *not* accept it.

It would be nice if you could put it away yourself for some savings ...... :/

SnuffleUffleGrass
02-01-2022, 07:45 AM
I confess I have to forgive two bigots and it is really annoying me in a bad way. Blerggghhhh

Aurora_Sunset
02-01-2022, 03:05 PM
This will probably sound really dumb, but I feel almost betrayed by a LOA blogger I used to follow hardcore. She was the first one I found years ago where I really resonated with her way of explaining things. I diligently read through her backlog of blogs every single day for a year until I was caught up, and I kept a close eye on her new ones. It really helped me out at the time.

Over time, she stopped posting as much, but would always come back every few months with an update, saying she had been doing all sorts of inner work that was leading her to bigger and better ways to help people with up-leveling their consciousness and lives. Then, COVID and the shitshow of American politics of 2020 happened. She barely wrote or posted anything during that time... she came back for about one month to post some podcasts where she had had discussions about race with other people, and then she dropped off the face of the planet again. It's been well over a year since I've seen any sign of her.

She would always say she "didn't shy away from the big questions" about LOA or collective manifestations when it comes to societal upheaval. Not only do I feel like she up and flaked on giving all her followers a perspective when we hit the biggest societal upheaval we've had for generations, but even half of the pages for her old blogs don't work anymore. She just didn't bother to maintain the blog portion of the site.

Edit to add: I just did some poking around, and it looks like she's shifted entirely to running expensive online workshops a couple times a years. So... she's still around, she just completely stopped putting out any new reading/podcasting material right when the world went to shit. I know this random internet person doesn't owe me anything, but I feel... abandoned... I guess, by someone that I really looked up to and looked to for a better way to look at and feel about things.

indiegirl
02-01-2022, 03:12 PM
I confess I'm taking next week off to get the whole school shit show taken care of plus I've been extremely tired lately. Like sleeping alllll the time and just feeling unhappy not taking a break nowadays. It feels like I'm living the same day over and over working all the time but I put on a good act with customers. I've had 70 reviews in 11 months. Mama needs a break.

Next month I want to go back to the real world for school, knock it out of the park financially on Saturdays, and Sundays for studying.

carmen_b
02-01-2022, 04:04 PM
I think with folks like this their freebie content really exists to push their paid experiences ( like you said the new workshops ).

You can think of it in a way that is nice that she ( personally ) had some success so now she can offer these things.

I have followed some people like that too ( self help genre ) who have done some similar things.


This will probably sound really dumb, but I feel almost betrayed by a LOA blogger I used to follow hardcore. She was the first one I found years ago where I really resonated with her way of explaining things. I diligently read through her backlog of blogs every single day for a year until I was caught up, and I kept a close eye on her new ones. It really helped me out at the time.

Over time, she stopped posting as much, but would always come back every few months with an update, saying she had been doing all sorts of inner work that was leading her to bigger and better ways to help people with up-leveling their consciousness and lives. Then, COVID and the shitshow of American politics of 2020 happened. She barely wrote or posted anything during that time... she came back for about one month to post some podcasts where she had had discussions about race with other people, and then she dropped off the face of the planet again. It's been well over a year since I've seen any sign of her.

She would always say she "didn't shy away from the big questions" about LOA or collective manifestations when it comes to societal upheaval. Not only do I feel like she up and flaked on giving all her followers a perspective when we hit the biggest societal upheaval we've had for generations, but even half of the pages for her old blogs don't work anymore. She just didn't bother to maintain the blog portion of the site.

Edit to add: I just did some poking around, and it looks like she's shifted entirely to running expensive online workshops a couple times a years. So... she's still around, she just completely stopped putting out any new reading/podcasting material right when the world went to shit. I know this random internet person doesn't owe me anything, but I feel... abandoned... I guess, by someone that I really looked up to and looked to for a better way to look at and feel about things.

Genoveve
02-01-2022, 05:34 PM
This will probably sound really dumb, but I feel almost betrayed by a LOA blogger I used to follow hardcore. She was the first one I found years ago where I really resonated with her way of explaining things. I diligently read through her backlog of blogs every single day for a year until I was caught up, and I kept a close eye on her new ones. It really helped me out at the time...

...She would always say she "didn't shy away from the big questions" about LOA or collective manifestations when it comes to societal upheaval. Not only do I feel like she up and flaked on giving all her followers a perspective when we hit the biggest societal upheaval we've had for generations, but even half of the pages for her old blogs don't work anymore. She just didn't bother to maintain the blog portion of the site.

Honestly I can see how that would be upsetting. She might have gotten screwed over by the pandemic like so many others and was so busy trying to make ends meet that she didn't have time to devote to her blog, or maybe she felt too overwhelmed and negatively impacted by it to feel like she had any business being 'inspirational,' you know what I mean? Covid hardships might also explain why she is only bothering with these expensive workshops, because she needs dinero and can't currently keep putting as much energy into free material.

I love Abe Hicks, they have videos and literature on just about every subject including the big ones and they have addressed the pandemic. The main reason why I like them so much is because I feel like they are especially good at breaking the LoA down in a way that is realistic for every day life. They focus a lot on how to deal with the normal, day-to-day frustrations and issues that most normal people have, rather than a bunch of super impractical, super abstract philosophic crap. But people seem to either love or hate AH and I can see how they'd be too 'weird' for a lot of people.

miss.a.p1600
02-01-2022, 08:08 PM
^ At least he is being self aware enough to *not* accept it.

It would be nice if you could put it away yourself for some savings ...... :/

True.

But only if the offers have minimal to no strings attached

SnuffleUffleGrass
02-01-2022, 08:59 PM
This will probably sound really dumb, but I feel almost betrayed by a LOA blogger I used to follow hardcore. She was the first one I found years ago where I really resonated with her way of explaining things. I diligently read through her backlog of blogs every single day for a year until I was caught up, and I kept a close eye on her new ones. It really helped me out at the time.

Over time, she stopped posting as much, but would always come back every few months with an update, saying she had been doing all sorts of inner work that was leading her to bigger and better ways to help people with up-leveling their consciousness and lives. Then, COVID and the shitshow of American politics of 2020 happened. She barely wrote or posted anything during that time... she came back for about one month to post some podcasts where she had had discussions about race with other people, and then she dropped off the face of the planet again. It's been well over a year since I've seen any sign of her.

She would always say she "didn't shy away from the big questions" about LOA or collective manifestations when it comes to societal upheaval. Not only do I feel like she up and flaked on giving all her followers a perspective when we hit the biggest societal upheaval we've had for generations, but even half of the pages for her old blogs don't work anymore. She just didn't bother to maintain the blog portion of the site.

Edit to add: I just did some poking around, and it looks like she's shifted entirely to running expensive online workshops a couple times a years. So... she's still around, she just completely stopped putting out any new reading/podcasting material right when the world went to shit. I know this random internet person doesn't owe me anything, but I feel... abandoned... I guess, by someone that I really looked up to and looked to for a better way to look at and feel about things.

FWIW the Pandemic was really strange in so many ways. It's likely she was impacted more than she expected & wanting to be at her best before resuming her LOA blogs.


My confession- I ate way too much today.

miss.a.p1600
02-02-2022, 09:23 AM
I feel like the worst child ever. My mom broke her hip a few weeks ago & they only let her stay in a rehab for 2 weeks. I have been so overwhelmed and stressed out and just plain sad, between adapting to my own malfunctioning body, my animals all rotating getting sick, SO gone and not able to contact me, and having no income presently (since I cannot seem to drag my ass back to the club).

The idea of having to pack up my dogs & myself and go stay in her sweltering hot, no A/C, no internet house (which is my childhood home and frankly I want nothing to do with the area because the memories are painful) and be forced to socialize 24/7 was the least appealing thing I could think of, so I convinced her to stay with my aunt. To be fair, my aunt has a much more accessible house for a walker & works from home.

But yeah, I'm anticipating her calling me today and saying she's ready to go home & still needs me to come stay. And I feel bad for not wanting to do it and like everyone is judging me for not being more 'present' with the process. Sigh. I'm going to hell.

No you’re not.

Most people don’t want to do unpaid grueling labor. And have their own lives in shambles while trying to help someone else.

If the elderly want someone to house them and take care of them then they need to figure that out BEFORE they get sick and disabled. If they can afford to hire help then they should do that.

Most people who work salaried jobs have no excuse to put a few bucks a month into a disability insurance plan

What’s unfair is expecting others to stop their lives, house them, take care of them, deal with whatever baggage they’re coming with and often times without any compensation because “oh you’re family”

whirlerz
02-02-2022, 09:46 AM
FOH w/some of these blues on here.

miss.a.p1600
02-02-2022, 09:51 AM
When I said 2022 was the era of traveling I was not lying.

I am planning to travel this month.

L was like 'let me know so "we" can go'

Um sir if 'we' is you plus 2 ...... that's a negative.

Leave those kids with Bertha....which I know you're not. So you stay here and be a good dad and take care of those kids.

This is NOT family travel.

This is SOLO travel.

No offense to those kids or him or whatever but I want a break from the obligations. 3 days will be perfect for rejuvenation. Doing what tf I want. Not having to worry about synchronized sleeping, sex when I'm rarely in the mood, etc.

carmen_b
02-02-2022, 10:07 AM
^ You'll love it !
I'm off on my own two day trip today.
:)
I also had yesterday to myself because they were up skiing.

miss.a.p1600
02-02-2022, 10:18 AM
^ You'll love it !
I'm off on my own two day trip today.
:)
I also had yesterday to myself because they were up skiing.

I just hope he doesn't find some excuse or guilt trip to try to invite himself along.

I want him and his kids to stay where they belong.

If for some reason he tries to bombard himself into my travel ----- he will have to pay for him and his kids to stay in a separate room.


Nice.....That's good you got a little break and J and his daughter had some quality time