View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
carmen_b
02-20-2022, 10:03 AM
PLUS he seems to be completely unwilling to do that thing that would make this HARD situation so much easier.
Create a SCHEDULE where each parent brings the kid to " exchange " just once a week.
If his time is on the weekend, he does the weekend. If hers is M-F then she is fully responsible for that time.
He won't do it and he is doing something DIFFERENT than what 99% of divorced people do.
It seems very concerning that he wouldn't even TRY one organized week ( where his ex is fully 100% responsible during her time ). He could at least tried it your way a week or two and then evaluated .
miss.a.p1600
02-20-2022, 10:06 AM
I'm just floored that Bertha wants to take a vacation but it was just three seconds ago that she can't afford to take care of her kids. Like wtf?
Yes girl the bitch got her tax returns so she’s in “let’s blow money” mode
And why tf she didn’t take her vacation LAST weekend when we took her kids out of town.
I could see if it’s travel to scout a better job and leave the city …… with her kids but most likely it’s either leisure or she’s just in the cut somewhere laughing while L scrambles to reorganize his schedule and push me to the brink of leaving him cause he stays going above and beyond with no reciprocation from that sociopathic Bertha.
PLUS he seems to be completely unwilling to do that thing that would make this HARD situation so much easier.
Create a SCHEDULE where each parent brings the kid to " exchange " just once a week.
If his time is on the weekend, he does the weekend. If hers is M-F then she is fully responsible for that time.
He won't do it and he is doing something DIFFERENT than what 99% of divorced people do.
It seems very concerning that he wouldn't even TRY one organized week ( where his ex is fully 100% responsible during her time ). He could have at lease tried it your way a week or two and evaluating from there.
Yeah I’m going to demand to see his parenting agreement AND ask for a WEEK notice of their arrival.
The problem is he is supposed to have them on the weekends when he is off work but sometimes he getting them on the weekends even when he works (because Bertha giving him grief about it) which I don’t think is fair to me or him.
I want a break from clingy kids and I want him to use whatever off time he has to work on things that would make him a better partner like self development etc.
carmen_b
02-20-2022, 10:09 AM
^ She is leaving town. So her family can step in and assist.
carmen_b
02-20-2022, 10:18 AM
^ You are not asking for too much.
99% of divorced people have a schedule ( there is even an app for it ).
He doesn't seem *interested* per say in creating a better life ( scheduling smoothly would " level up " your lives ).
indiegirl
02-20-2022, 10:49 AM
I need Starbucks. I'm also mad at myself for ordering pizza yesterday. My card couldn't recognize it as a normal location due to the name of the address and all I could get was fucking dominos pizza. I tried so many times to get sushi and it was declined because of the weird address.
This fucking idiot has been changing the time this entire morning. I'm gonna take a nap and let him figure his life out until I'm ready.
indiegirl
02-20-2022, 01:06 PM
Me agreeing with everything this man has to say so I can get his ass out the door. I need to feed my dogs and ship my ass back here. I have only a few more days to get in control before school. Let's do this shit!
LoveyD
02-20-2022, 01:26 PM
^ You are not asking for too much.
99% of divorced people have a schedule ( there is even an app for it ).
He doesn't seem *interested* per say in creating a better life ( scheduling smoothly would " level up " your lives ).
Even my NPD Baby Daddy and I managed to have a schedule in place early in the week. We'd have one made every week immediately after NPD BD got his work schedule. It became routine and this way, my son knew what to expect.
Also, I had my son in a six to six program, in hockey, soccer, YMCA camp, etc.
Miss ap I understand your frustrations. They need to hammer out a schedule and stick with it and stop making waves in everyone else's lives!
Also Bertha sucks at money management. Take your damn refund and invest it, save it, don't selfishly blow it on a vacation for yourself away from your kids. L and Bertha need to do way better!
miss.a.p1600
02-20-2022, 03:24 PM
Damn, Girl, & what's w/basement mistress?? :O
It’s like when dudes scrape the bottom of the barrel just to get something fast and easy….usually low quality women….just to validate their fragile ego
miss.a.p1600
02-20-2022, 04:08 PM
The silver lining of being in an argument with my partner and barely talking to him for two days…..
I don’t have to answer to him, explain where I’m going, be pressured to invite him and his kids (who are rarely dressed properly) along, have sex I’m not in the mood for, have multiple guilt trips run on me when I don’t do the above
Mf if you thinks it’s okay not to have to answer to me or run decisions (that affect me) by me BEFORE involving those kids then this is the cold shoulder treatment you will get every time.
It’s been uncomfortable but freeing
#kidsdontrunmyhouse
#holdberthaaccountable
miss.a.p1600
02-21-2022, 08:28 AM
I confess……
Things are a bit better but I still can’t shake the feeling that:
1. L is probably going to keep letting his Bertha bitch and kids manipulate and suck up all his time and resources.
2. I need a man who is more ambitious, higher income, and NO little kids/NO batshit needy dependent ex wives/NO child support.
I’m going to continue my level up, invest in SOLO travel, and focus on bettering MYSELF
The more I focus on developing someone else the more I lose my mind because I feel like I’m wasting my time on someone who is lazy and not ambitious
I refuse to let anyone hold me back from my goals.
LoveyD
02-21-2022, 08:42 AM
^^Like my therapist told me, you can't control what other people do, but you can control what *you* do. I've found these words very empowering.
Aurora_Sunset
02-21-2022, 08:48 AM
The kids asked last minute to spend last night and today with us because they're off of school today. My husband asked if I was ok with it, because what it would basically boil down to was that he would be working last night and then sleeping today. So, that meant that "us" having the kids an extra day and night would really be ME having the kids by myself for an extra day and night, after I just got home at 7pm last night after working a 50 hour week. I said no. So, he told a white lie and said I couldn't keep them because I had to work today as well.
Had it been an emergency, or hell, even if bio-mom had asked about this a week ago and PLANNED it because she was trying to make plans for her days off or something, I probably would have said yes. But don't ask me for alone parenting time at the last minute, after I picked up an extra day at work. Plus, Sunday nights are always my "me time" nights to unwind and have some time to myself because my husband goes to work early on Sundays.
After I said no, I felt guilty and asked my husband if I was being the "asshole" or the "bad guy" by saying I didn't want to take on the responsibility of keeping them here that extra time if he wasn't going to be around at all. He said no, it was totally fine. He understands that, ultimately, when they're here, yes, we're a family, but they're here under his custody, and their purpose is to spend time with HIM - their father. If he's not even going to be present, why do they need to stay here unless it's a pre-planned or emergency childcare issue on bio-mom's part?
Anyway, miss.a.p, I say leave L. Because respecting your boundaries with the kids shouldn't be such an argument all the time. Bertha can handle her own childcare issues during her parenting time. Whenever bio-mom plans a vacation or something during her parenting time, she'll usually extend an offer to my husband if he wants the kids so he can spend some more time with them, but if we can't, they go to their grandparents' without it being an issue. Sounds like L parents both out of "divorced-dad" guilt (which my husband does sometimes, but not to that extreme) as well as he's now trying to make a point to manipulate you into spending more time with the kids, even though it's in a way that's just driving you further away from them and him. You've given him a lot of warnings and chances. It doesn't seem like he's about to change his custody/childcare situation, and like someone else said above, it will just make them even worse and more whiny and entitled as they grow up. Get out now.
whirlerz
02-21-2022, 08:48 AM
^^Like my therapist told me, you can't control what other people do, but you can control what *you* do. I've found these words very empowering.
My friend tells me this all the time, I know, for example I put a note on both sides of front door, to pull door closed, cause it's loose/old/whatev..
Some one ripped 1 of the notes off, so fine I guess if someone walks in & ripps off the place, lol? ::)
Especially the couple, that keeps 2 brand new bikes right there?
miss.a.p1600
02-21-2022, 09:01 AM
The kids asked last minute to spend last night and today with us because they're off of school today. My husband asked if I was ok with it, because what it would basically boil down to was that he would be working last night and then sleeping today. So, that meant that "us" having the kids an extra day and night would really be ME having the kids by myself for an extra day and night, after I just got home at 7pm last night after working a 50 hour week. I said no. So, he told a white lie and said I couldn't keep them because I had to work today as well.
Had it been an emergency, or hell, even if bio-mom had asked about this a week ago and PLANNED it because she was trying to make plans for her days off or something, I probably would have said yes. But don't ask me for alone parenting time at the last minute, after I picked up an extra day at work. Plus, Sunday nights are always my "me time" nights to unwind and have some time to myself because my husband goes to work early on Sundays.
After I said no, I felt guilty and asked my husband if I was being the "asshole" or the "bad guy" by saying I didn't want to take on the responsibility of keeping them here that extra time if he wasn't going to be around at all. He said no, it was totally fine. He understands that, ultimately, when they're here, yes, we're a family, but they're here under his custody, and their purpose is to spend time with HIM - their father. If he's not even going to be present, why do they need to stay here unless it's a pre-planned or emergency childcare issue on bio-mom's part?
Anyway, miss.a.p, I say leave L. Because respecting your boundaries with the kids shouldn't be such an argument all the time. Bertha can handle her own childcare issues during her parenting time. Whenever bio-mom plans a vacation or something during her parenting time, she'll usually extend an offer to my husband if he wants the kids so he can spend some more time with them, but if we can't, they go to their grandparents' without it being an issue. Sounds like L parents both out of "divorced-dad" guilt (which my husband does sometimes, but not to that extreme) as well as he's now trying to make a point to manipulate you into spending more time with the kids, even though it's in a way that's just driving you further away from them and him. You've given him a lot of warnings and chances. It doesn't seem like he's about to change his custody/childcare situation, and like someone else said above, it will just make them even worse and more whiny and entitled as they grow up. Get out now.
At least he asked you and didn’t make it seem like YOU were the problem for saying no.
In all honesty, he did mention early in the week that the kids were begging to come over here. But I had my mind set that if she chose to take a vacation during what I perceive is her parenting time (weekends L works) then her family needs to take care of them. And if his exwife worked it out for kids to stay with her parents then let them stay there.
if she wanted to travel kid free and not have to worry about childcare, then she should have taken her vacation same time we did last week when we took L’s kids out of town
He also pissed me off lying and claiming no one helps him so he has to do all the work but when his ex wife send them to grandmas, here his ass is enabling their clingy manipulative behavior (kids acting like they are to scared n uncomfortable to stay at their grandmas house) then coming to “rescue” them from grandmas house with allegedly 10 people in 3 bedroom house.
Mf let the grandma help you!!!!
You are 1000 percent right. He is operating out of guilt that his kids don’t have daily dad and so he tries to be at their beck and call and Bertha uses his guilt to do as much hands off parenting as possible to suck L dry of resources because she’s lazy bitter and trifling.
I am planning to leave soon (bettering myself and lining up his replacement) because I don’t want to deal with 10+ more years of this shit.
I only agreed to live with him because I thought Bertha would stay out of town with her kids and now that she’s back in town I realize she’s borderline deadbeat and L is doing twice the work AND expecting me to do the work too. Nah! I don't agree to anything more than 50% custody PLANNED
And I realized last night that he is not changing his custody issues. Anytime I say he’s being manipulated by his exwife into doing more childcare than what is on his divorce agreement he goes into denial and doubles down.
Overly dependent Bertha and those needy whiny kids can have their free manny and 24/7 Uber back. I can’t get ahead in life and live the lifestyle I want with a man who thinks every free moment he has should be raising kids
L needs doesnt need a wife he needs a retired sugar grandma who can use her retirement checks to help him pay his bills and sit at home all day n help him take care of kids to make her feel alive and young again.
Thanks you for your insight because I often wonder if I am the cunt or if he is the cunt.
carmen_b
02-21-2022, 10:46 AM
^ Aurora :
I think it's funny how guilt things can pop up.
I will basically always say NO if things are short notice if nothing more than to set a pattern of just NEVER to ask for anything short notice ( other than emergencies ).
I don't really feel guilty over anything like *that* but I think it's just interesting to note in these situations how little guilt phases can " pop " up.
carmen_b
02-21-2022, 10:50 AM
Well Miss P ..... I think you know my take.
I really think the most concerning thing is that he won't even TRY to be organized for just 1-2 weeks to TRY IT.
I don't think you are asking for too much.
miss.a.p1600
02-21-2022, 10:58 AM
^he did tell me a week in advance they were trying to come over.
My problem was simply that he worked that weekend so instead of catering to them in what little time he had that this should actually be Berthas parenting time and they’re fine at their grandmas even if it is 20 people deep and we have a lot of space here.
I didn’t mind him spending a couple hours or whatever but I did NOT want them spending the night because it meant meals and laundry and endless conversation with his ADHD daughter and sharing my space (those kids are loud and needy)
I didn’t want to be bogged down with kids even if it was an hour because we just came from out of town with them last weekend and *I* needed a break from kid obligations.
I am discovering he takes his parenting time EVERY weekend regardless if he works or not and I don’t think that’s efficient or healthy for him nor the kids. They need variety and L being their sole source of existence is creating clingy kids, overly dependent exwife who will expect him to take them every weekend regardless of his work schedule, and less time for him to improve his economic standing
Yes it’s great he spends time with them but not every cotdamn free second he gets. That’s bordering into enmeshed codependency and Bertha will kee demanding more and more. No wonder she’s so lazy and trifling as a parent - L enables this shit!
carmen_b
02-21-2022, 11:02 AM
^ When you indicated you preferred they didn't he should have come up with another plan.
The grandmas house is perfectly fine. :)
miss.a.p1600
02-21-2022, 12:17 PM
I confess….
L being so combative, clingy, cunty, etc these last couple weeks really reduced my attraction to him ….. permanently
Bruh YOU are the one with hella baggage, you/your needy kids/your trifling ex-wife do not get to run this show….you need to give me something to overlook this mess and if you start expecting 50/50 relationship and/or acting like a bitch whining and complaining when I want my house to myself and breaking my reasonable boundaries …..
you’ll be alone in this house with your ugly basement mistress while your exwife continues using tf out of you
LoveyD
02-21-2022, 03:34 PM
@Aurora that's good your guy understands that he needs to be there for the kids bc it is his parenting time and they are there to see him.
My ex used to beg me to come over, then ditch me with his kids and go to the club where I worked! Then he'd spend money ON MY COWORKERS (um, where's my nanny money??), then get so drunk he'd lose his keys.
Needless to say, I left the fucking loser...
LoveyD
02-21-2022, 03:39 PM
At least he asked you and didn’t make it seem like YOU were the problem for saying no.
In all honesty, he did mention early in the week that the kids were begging to come over here. But I had my mind set that if she chose to take a vacation during what I perceive is her parenting time (weekends L works) then her family needs to take care of them. And if his exwife worked it out for kids to stay with her parents then let them stay there.
if she wanted to travel kid free and not have to worry about childcare, then she should have taken her vacation same time we did last week when we took L’s kids out of town
He also pissed me off lying and claiming no one helps him so he has to do all the work but when his ex wife send them to grandmas, here his ass is enabling their clingy manipulative behavior (kids acting like they are to scared n uncomfortable to stay at their grandmas house) then coming to “rescue” them from grandmas house with allegedly 10 people in 3 bedroom house.
Mf let the grandma help you!!!!
You are 1000 percent right. He is operating out of guilt that his kids don’t have daily dad and so he tries to be at their beck and call and Bertha uses his guilt to do as much hands off parenting as possible to suck L dry of resources because she’s lazy bitter and trifling.
I am planning to leave soon (bettering myself and lining up his replacement) because I don’t want to deal with 10+ more years of this shit.
I only agreed to live with him because I thought Bertha would stay out of town with her kids and now that she’s back in town I realize she’s borderline deadbeat and L is doing twice the work AND expecting me to do the work too. Nah! I don't agree to anything more than 50% custody PLANNED
And I realized last night that he is not changing his custody issues. Anytime I say he’s being manipulated by his exwife into doing more childcare than what is on his divorce agreement he goes into denial and doubles down.
Overly dependent Bertha and those needy whiny kids can have their free manny and 24/7 Uber back. I can’t get ahead in life and live the lifestyle I want with a man who thinks every free moment he has should be raising kids
L needs doesnt need a wife he needs a retired sugar grandma who can use her retirement checks to help him pay his bills and sit at home all day n help him take care of kids to make her feel alive and young again.
Thanks you for your insight because I often wonder if I am the cunt or if he is the cunt.
You're not a cunt for having boundaries.
L needs to get a grip.
Bertha, I'm convinced, is doing all this shit on purpose.
These people are inefficient and don't make sense.
moneybags
02-21-2022, 04:14 PM
^^^i agree. I’ve made a decision to not let love effect my money.
All relationships are really a negotiation.We don’t think of that way, but they are. You want win-win relationships. Right now for him it’s win and you are losing. If a guy wants a pretty women (his win) and a pretty woman wants money (win)-then there’s nothing wrong with negotiating that.
Society -the patriarchy- likes to make women feel bad for negotiating on their on behalf instead of devaluing their time and energy.
This is what I originally came to post-
I emailed my accountant, “Hi, I’m gonna submit my taxes. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m the cam model.” LOL OF COURSE she remembers me. How can you forget writing off dildos and gallons of lube. LOL
Hope that made you all laugh.
Aurora_Sunset
02-21-2022, 07:02 PM
After my husband leaves for work, I'm gonna get high with my new pipe, eat sushi and chocolate cake I got from the store today, and watch the live-action Beauty and the Beast.
Dreamqueen
02-21-2022, 10:37 PM
My (stalker) neighbor's mail ended up in my mailbox.
Somehow it made it's way into my shredder too. ;D
I had a lovely afternoon reading her latest edition of "Better Homes and Gardens" along with a hot cup of cocoa.
It's the little things in life that being me joy.
That, and murder is illegal.
whirlerz
02-22-2022, 07:28 AM
Well, I kinda was working w/my plants in the hall, crushie came out of the bf, no shirt on, :heartbeat:faint:.. O.M.G Soooo hawt, sorry not sorry..
Btw, he's fixing my car in exchange for the $ he owes me, he already agreed to do it. :)
miss.a.p1600
02-22-2022, 07:33 AM
After my husband leaves for work, I'm gonna get high with my new pipe, eat sushi and chocolate cake I got from the store today, and watch the live-action Beauty and the Beast.
That reminds me I have some leftover weed from New Years I think L totally forgot about.
I hate how the times I smoked weed with him he was playing around with it barely inhaling acting like a clumsy high school kids who has never smoked before and wasting my weed burning it n not getting high
Cotdamn it! Just stop. Wasting up my weed. I’m smoking this solo while he is at work. I need a new pipe though.
^^^i agree. I’ve made a decision to not let love effect my money.
All relationships are really a negotiation.We don’t think of that way, but they are. You want win-win relationships. Right now for him it’s win and you are losing. If a guy wants a pretty women (his win) and a pretty woman wants money (win)-then there’s nothing wrong with negotiating that.
Society -the patriarchy- likes to make women feel bad for negotiating on their on behalf instead of devaluing their time and energy.
This is what I originally came to post-
I emailed my accountant, “Hi, I’m gonna submit my taxes. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m the cam model.” LOL OF COURSE she remembers me. How can you forget writing off dildos and gallons of lube. LOL
Hope that made you all laugh.
Lol at the dildos n lube!
You’re right though.
L has been the biggest hypocrite and I think he still has issues he needs to work out from dealing with his messy exwife for decades.
This is why I’m not slacking here like a lot of women do when they get too comfortable. I’m dressing good looking good and feeling good and I’m going out solo and doing social media marketing cause mark my words L’s Replacement WILL Be Lined Up before I leave him here shortly.
He’s the fool for letting this ugly Bertha bitch ruin the best thing he can ever get in his life.
Sir you can’t come into this relationship with baggage and barely average money and start making demands/refusing to level up/refusing to provide/etc. Doesn’t work like that. That’s how you get cheated on
carmen_b
02-22-2022, 10:51 AM
Why cheat though ? ^
It's better to just rent a room and get OUT and be totally straight " The reason I'm leaving is because of you not having a smooth schedule and refusing to change it " .
You can also say to him you have become progressively disappointed over the lack of work progress.
There is nothing wrong with just laying it out straight !
I just say that because " lining up a replacement " seems a little cruel ( I had a former partner do that to me and it was horrible ). Maybe L *does* deserve it though where I didn't feel I deserved it . I could be biased there.
It's classy to get out and then begin finding the new mate. Reputation could also follow and you don't want your new person getting word that you were living the L while starting up with them.
whirlerz
02-22-2022, 11:02 AM
Why not rent a room & get a hot ****?
Oops, that's what I wanna do:D
There's a couple shady-ish motels around here, I used to fantasize about crushie, I think one got torn down
Anyways Ms P ain't ready/willing to chuck it all just yet, why not have a little fun??
carmen_b
02-22-2022, 11:10 AM
Wow some men are bat shit crazy.
My ex used to beg me to come over, then ditch me with his kids and go to the club where I worked! Then he'd spend money ON MY COWORKERS (um, where's my nanny money??), then get so drunk he'd lose his keys.
Needless to say, I left the fucking loser...
miss.a.p1600
02-22-2022, 11:36 AM
Why cheat though ? ^
It's it better to just rent a room and get OUT and be totally straight " The reason I'm leaving is because of you not having a smooth schedule and refusing to change it " .
You can also say to him you have become progressively disappointed over the lack of work progress.
There is nothing wrong with just laying it out straight !
I just say that because " lining up a replacement " seems a little cruel ( I had a former partner do that to me and it was horrible ). Maybe L *does* deserve it though where I didn't feel I deserved it so I could be biased there.
It's classy to get out and then begin finding the new mate. Reputation could also follow and you don't want your new person getting word that you were living the L while starting up with them.
The irony is that while living with him I have been able to get my credit from low 600 to 708 and I have an emergency savings and I passed my state tests/got 2 licenses - while he’s literally stalled out because he’s busy playing Mr Mom/free Uber for Bertha
I am teetering back and forth on leaving right away vs in a couple months.
If I left now a rental deposit will eat my emergency savings
I charged my mom rent (so neither one of us would owe L anything for letting her stay with us) and she paid it in full and he cashed the check so trying to get a refund from a bitter ex will be hell.
I want to stack a bit more paper so I can get something in an upscale neighborhood.
You’re Right I’m going to keep it classy for now and focus on my leveling up and see where it takes me vs. actively seeking out men who may be messy
Why not rent a room & get a hot ****?
Oops, that's what I wanna do:D
There's a couple shady-ish motels around here, I used to fantasize about crushie, I think one got torn down
Anyways Ms P ain't ready/willing to chuck it all just yet, why not have a little fun??
Haha take a male hoe to the “Hoe”tel cause hoes don’t tell ……
Honestly I probably don’t have the guts to full on cheat (unless I know he’s cheating) plus I don’t need dick that bad anyways ….. but some nsa money, some flirting, etc….I’m down for that.
But yeah I confess that I stand by my position to leave him when I got inside his car saw how dirty it was, how his windshield is cracked, his wiper blade falling off, his tire pressure low ….. none of which he seems to be trying to fix
But yet he wants a luxury car.
Why so you can give luxury car owners a bad name and run that into the ground too? You can’t even take care of what you have so why would the universe bless you with something nicer?
Anyways my next man will have a luxury car that he can afford to take care of. And buy me one too.
I’ll be calling an Uber before I ride with him again.
carmen_b
02-22-2022, 11:52 AM
^ Let your Mom stay if she paid.
I’d just find a room 45-60 days then your own place.
miss.a.p1600
02-22-2022, 11:55 AM
^ Let your Mom stay if she paid.
I’d just find a room 45-60 days then your own place.
LOL!!!
L would LOVE it ..... his retired sugar grandmommy
My mom would probably get depressed n get tired of his shit FAST....
I'm going to figure something out because pretending for two months is going to take a lot of energy out of me. I just didn't realize this would unravel (most likely irreparable) basically 3 days ago. The way he stormed in demanded that his kids were coming over was the last straw out of many straws that I tried to overlook.
When I reflect on my dating past, L is light years behind and slower than molasses running uphill in a snow storm. I tried to overlook his weight, his stalled career, his annoying ex and needy kids, his mediocre salary, etc. but what I cannot overlook is demands on my time, my boundaries, my space without any compensation in return.
I don't need dick (that's what my vibrator is for), I don't need 'male presence' (that's what weapons are for), ..... literally what tf are you doing for me besides being needy, demanding, controlling, and clingy.
After constant guilt trips about those kids ---- I just think he needs someone who can help him pay his bills and help him take care of his kids ---- Bare minimal forward progress, I'm beyond over it.
Say some prayers for ya girl I'm going to need it like I need water and peace of mind right now.
He wants to plan a date this weekend (which should have been on Valentines) and this is the one time I am hoping Bertha has her usual emergencies needing cash or childcare and its cancelled. I want him to make it easy for me to leave.
carmen_b
02-22-2022, 12:34 PM
^ Well if they are there I hope he fully plans to take care of them over the weekend.
carmen_b
02-22-2022, 12:35 PM
I think that is where he gets delusional.
You were ok tolerating demands on his time ( having kids ) .
But you know he’s over the line expecting your constant time.
indiegirl
02-22-2022, 12:44 PM
I am so sad this woman passed recently from cancer. She was such a positive person despite knowing she had a 2% rate of living... I could not imagine dealing with battling cancer for years. *Hugs to her*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZJvBfoHDk0
whirlerz
02-22-2022, 01:00 PM
The irony is that while living with him I have been able to get my credit from low 600 to 708 and I have an emergency savings and I passed my state tests/got 2 licenses - while he’s literally stalled out because he’s busy playing Mr Mom/free Uber for Bertha
I am teetering back and forth on leaving right away vs in a couple months.
If I left now a rental deposit will eat my emergency savings
I charged my mom rent (so I would not owe L anything for letting her stay with us) and she paid it in full and he cashed the check so trying to get a refund from a bitter ex will be hell.
I want to stack a bit more paper so I can get something in an upscale neighborhood.
You’re Right I’m going to keep it classy for now and focus on my leveling up and see where it takes me vs. actively seeking out men who may be messy
Haha take a male hoe to the “Hoe”tel cause hoes don’t tell ……
Honestly I probably don’t have the guts to full on cheat (unless I know he’s cheating) plus I don’t need dick that bad anyways ….. but some nsa money, some flirting, etc….I’m down for that.
But yeah I confess that I stand by my position to leave him when I got inside his car saw how dirty it was, how his windshield is cracked, his wiper blade falling off, his tire pressure low ….. none of which he seems to be trying to fix
But yet he wants a luxury car.
Why so you can give luxury car owners a bad name and run that into the ground too? You can’t even take care of what you have so why would the universe bless you with something nicer?
Anyways my next man will have a luxury car that he can afford to take care of. And buy me one too.
I’ll be calling an Uber before I ride with him again.
Gawd.. ^
I'm messy AF w/my car, I do keep up with its maintenance, I also keep AAA.
moneybags
02-22-2022, 01:08 PM
LOL!!!
L would LOVE it ..... his retired sugar grandmommy
My mom would probably get depressed n get tired of his shit FAST....
I'm going to figure something out because pretending for two months is going to take a lot of energy out of me. I just didn't realize this would unravel (most likely irreparable) basically 3 days ago. The way he stormed in demanded that his kids were coming over was the last straw out of many straws that I tried to overlook.
When I reflect on my dating past, L is light years behind and slower than molasses running uphill in a snow storm. I tried to overlook his weight, his stalled career, his annoying ex and needy kids, his mediocre salary, etc. but what I cannot overlook is demands on my time, my boundaries, my space without any compensation in return.
I don't need dick (that's what my vibrator is for), I don't need 'male presence' (that's what weapons are for), ..... literally what tf are you doing for me besides being needy, demanding, controlling, and clingy.
After constant guilt trips about those kids ---- I just think he needs someone who can help him pay his bills and help him take care of his kids ---- Bare minimal forward progress, I'm beyond over it.
Say some prayers for ya girl I'm going to need it like I need water and peace of mind right now.
He wants to plan a date this weekend (which should have been on Valentines) and this is the one time I am hoping Bertha has her usual emergencies needing cash or childcare and its cancelled. I want him to make it easy for me to leave.
If all women were like you men would be better to us all.
Speaking of lining someone else up-I feel like my crush is trying to line me up to take his girlfriends place, but I won’t do that. Period. I would never get in a relationship with someone who doesn’t take time to grieve and is so codependent they can’t be by themselves after a break up for awhile. Whatever I guess I shouldn’t judge, but I’m not gonna take some girls man. That’s just bad karma. I enjoy having a hot doctor, but im not gonna be his girlfriend anytime soon. I’m not dating until I finish school. Oh man he’s so hot! Grrr! Too bad he’s taken. He makes it so hard because I really think he’s trying to see if I could take his girlfriends place. I just don’t think we’re compatible. He’s hot, but I have toys I’ll be fine. I don’t need love when I love myself. It takes all the strength I have to control myself because he’s a hot, charming, rich doctor-my type.
miss.a.p1600
02-22-2022, 01:52 PM
Good point moneybags.....you are setting your standards too!
It is something a bit 'ruthless' about lining up the replacement before officially ending the relationship (men do this shit ALL the time).....I know 2 wrongs don't make a right.
The hot guys are the hardest because they look so good and so attractive and it seems like even more effort to maintain your rules/standards/boundaries
miss.a.p1600
02-22-2022, 04:25 PM
L's brother talking about how he was tired of having to push him to succeed and step up to his full potential
Well cotdamn it, I'm tired too and I've only been around him way shorter timeframe
L's brother is successful, go-getter, takes initiative to provide a very nice lifestyle for his family. He's more like the type of guys I usually date and its too bad L is not like his brother and he should be because obviously he's doing something right.
Anyways L's brother was like I took him under my wing but now I have to kick him out the tree/nest.
Well I'm on the verge of kicking him out of my nest too cotdamn it
LoveyD
02-22-2022, 04:32 PM
It's raining and I'm tired from my workout. I just want to relax today. I e done two orders that were nearby, so that's good. Not driving longer distances today.
carmen_b
02-22-2022, 04:47 PM
Can't help a bird who refuses to fly .....
Anyways L's brother was like I took him under my wing but now I have to kick him out the tree/nest.
Well I'm on the verge of kicking him out of my nest too cotdamn it
Aurora_Sunset
02-23-2022, 08:22 AM
I drank way too many margaritas last night. I should have gotten the separate ingredients instead of the pre-mixed bottle so I could have more accurately kept an eye on how much I was consuming every time I had to make one. Being able to just pour it out of the bottle made it too easy to over-consume.
miss.a.p1600
02-23-2022, 08:58 AM
L tore up a shirt he admitted was from his ex-mistress after I grilled him on why he would parade around in a shirt his ex-mistress got him like that shit was a badge of honor. The shirt was old and worn anyways and last night he was adamant on keeping those tattered artifacts.
I guess he changes his tune today.
I halfway wish he would have kept it so I could have ammunition that would make it super easy to leave. I still have plenty of ammunition if he doesnÂ’t complete his job level up and get Bertha in check.
charlie61
02-23-2022, 09:02 AM
^Being unhappy is the only reason you need to leave. <3
Secret Shelly
02-23-2022, 10:52 AM
I halfway wish he would have kept it so I could have ammunition that would make it super easy to leave. I still have plenty of ammunition if he doesnÂ’t complete his job level up and get Bertha in check.
that just sounds like too many "if's" to count on.
miss.a.p1600
02-23-2022, 11:36 AM
^youre right.
My bio clock is ticking and I don’t have time to wait for mfs who moving slow or not at all.
And part of my confession is I woke up today thinking that even though things have smoothed over a bit since this past weekend when he tried to force the issue of kids coming over during his weekend workdays, I’m only about 45-50% happy in this relationship…..when I believe there may be someone out there who I’d feel closer to 80%+ happiness
I know there is no perfect man and I probably will always rant in the man bitching thread but I am realizing that I should have made the income status and little kids/batshit crazy lazy ex wives thing a hard NO (which it definitely will be in the future)
indiegirl
02-23-2022, 12:20 PM
I want a happy meal from Mcdonalds. I really want their french fries......enter in Sinead O'Connor-Nothing compares to you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-EF60neguk
I have salad kits in the fridge but I want those salty french fries with tasty ketchup to dunk my fries in lol!!!!!!
carmen_b
02-23-2022, 12:26 PM
Miss P :
I really think he just did you wrong and it's hard to forgive.
He COULD have made things so much smoother simply scheduling ( like 99% of divorced people do ).
I know we don't have the full picture but it just seems nasty in a way that he made things SO difficult when changes could have brought things to an easier place.
Every situation is totally different but I know exactly when my partners daughter is going to be in the home.
I have this info 2-3 weeks ahead. It would be rare that I " only " had it a week ahead . There are easier ways to do this and your partner just won't do them which must be infuriating.
indiegirl
02-23-2022, 12:41 PM
^youre right.
My bio clock is ticking and I don’t have time to wait for mfs who moving slow or not at all.
And part of my confession is I woke up today thinking that even though things have smoothed over a bit since this past weekend when he tried to force the issue of kids coming over during his weekend workdays, I’m only about 45-50% happy in this relationship…..when I believe there may be someone out there who I’d feel closer to 80%+ happiness
I know there is no perfect man and I probably will always rant in the man bitching thread but I am realizing that I should have made the income status and little kids/batshit crazy lazy ex wives thing a hard NO (which it definitely will be in the future)
I dunno, I think it would be a good idea to pack up your essentials, head to a hotel, and give him an ultimatum and a list of things you require to stay....and see how he responds. It would suck to waste any more time on someone who isn't your ideal guy and settling when you want a happy family in your future. Who knows, you may find your dream guy and look back on this and laugh.
I totally get why you want him to have a better paying job. Kids are expensive! Just my opinion :P.
miss.a.p1600
02-24-2022, 08:59 AM
Miss P :
I really think he just did you wrong and it's hard to forgive.
He COULD have made things so much smoother simply scheduling ( like 99% of divorced people do ).
I know we don't have the full picture but it just seems nasty in a way that he made things SO difficult when changes could have brought things to an easier place.
Every situation is totally different but I know exactly when my partners daughter is going to be in the home.
I have this info 2-3 weeks ahead typically. It would be rare that I " only " had it a week ahead . There are easier ways to do this and your partner just won't which must be infuriating.
Carmen he was NASTY about demanding his kids come over this past weekend despite having to work that weekend so it was Berthas parenting time (especially after I worked hard to push past what *I* wanted in order to sacrifice for him and get him AND his kids on a trip that was supposed to be solo), that’s why I cold shouldered him for 2 days.
Anyhow I demanded Spring Break and of course his response “Idk, I have to work” …. So I said “that’s s not what I asked you, I asked what is your parenting obligation for Spring Break?”
Because it looks like Bertha expects him to have the kids even during his workday (if his work day falls on weekend or holiday breaks).
whatever. I’m going to book some SOLO activities and trips.
Let him and Bertha have at it.
I dunno, I think it would be a good idea to pack up your essentials, head to a hotel, and give him an ultimatum and a list of things you require to stay....and see how he responds. It would suck to waste any more time on someone who isn't your ideal guy and settling when you want a happy family in your future. Who knows, you may find your dream guy and look back on this and laugh.
I totally get why you want him to have a better paying job. Kids are expensive! Just my opinion :P.
I realized I am settling and if I settle then mf needs to learn the motto “happy wife happy life” If this mf is going to be an uphill battle about getting a raise to provide for me and respecting my boundaries when I say I want my home to myself during what I believe is Berthas parenting time then it’s not worth the energy and effort and waste of time.
I simply don’t want kids in my space every cotdamn free second I have. That’s what rich housewives and retired people and nanny’s are for. This asshole expects the housewife treatment but won’t provide anything to support that. Then HE starts acting like the housewife by bending over backwards for Bertha and letting these clingy kids hang off him every second of every day.
Anyways I was blinded up until the point he started making demands, clinging, and not compensating me for my efforts.