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xxxGothBarbie
08-06-2022, 09:27 AM
The only good thing about yesterday was talking to UK crushy last night. I know he's merely a fantasy in another country but I enjoy his company so much right now when I can.

indiegirl
08-06-2022, 11:18 AM
I just had a conversation with a potential customer on the phone while I was pooping. Hahahahaha. That's all I came here to say. I'm the only person I know who does this type of stuff. He had no idea. LOLLL

carmen_b
08-06-2022, 11:21 AM
^ Well if he was into it you obviously would have had to Venmo invoice him !
NO freebies lol !!

Dreamqueen
08-06-2022, 12:54 PM
I find that if you are home a lot you have to really watch for depression patterns.
It's comfy so it seems like you don't need to leave ..... but you do if you are seeing patterns of " blahs ".
I do anyway ! I'm similar . It's hot where I am now ( for another month ). I work from home too.

I'm the opposite.
Going out depresses me and makes me feel sad.
If you reread my post, I don't like people. So being around them is not good for me.
My happy place is at home.
Edit to add: I talk and interact with hundreds of guys each day on cam.
As an introvert, that's a lot of energy expelled.
I hate small talk.
Plus, I'm 63. I've been out. Most of my life.
Lol

carmen_b
08-06-2022, 04:40 PM
The time my partner is out of town is flying.

I need to clean tomorrow because it was so nice to be here alone that I just was leaving stuff scattered everywhere.

I was UPSET about the very little amount of time we ended up with this month but an empty house is also luxurious anyway you slice it haha.

miss.a.p1600
08-06-2022, 08:37 PM
L brought up how he was feeling frazzled because I’m not in the same room with him.

Bruh firstly my need to avoid your pathogens is greater than your desire for companionship and a warm body. Go exercise then if that doesn’t cut it go Jack off.

He thought I enjoyed sleeping in a room by myself.

Well yes I do.

I enjoy sleeping on my time - and not having to do all this synchronized sleeping schedules.

I enjoy going braless or panty-less without being sexually harassed.

I enjoy reading stripperweb without worrying he’s going to peek at my phone.

I really miss being celibate and I don’t really like living with a man

carmen_b
08-06-2022, 09:39 PM
^ Ha. Getting a taste of freedom is going to make you want to apartment shop haha.

miss.a.p1600
08-07-2022, 05:18 AM
^he gone text me talking about “it feels like we’re separated”

Well assmuncher maybe a “separation” is what we need. Hell I need it. It’s been nothing but being constantly bombarded by you and your kids EVERY cotdamn weekend, the only person getting breaks from the obligations was Bertha, and *I* needed the break that your dumb ass wasn’t going to give me.

I’m enjoying the break from them so much that I’m going to dread having to be “reconnected” with him and when his loud needy obnoxious kids come back over here.

Aurora_Sunset
08-07-2022, 07:22 AM
I admit that I'm legitimately really mad at myself for all the money I "left on the table" the last few months of using my new flexible schedule to not work as much. I DID need the mental health break, but at this point, my financial shitshow is no one's fault but my own. I needed to "gear up" back into self-preservation mode a lot sooner than I did. When I think about how long and difficult it's going to be to simply catch up now, I get massive anxiety.

miss.a.p1600
08-07-2022, 08:54 AM
I’d give anything to shake some ass on a pole to a slow seductive song while dudes who know their role are tossing cash in the air to give thanks for being able to witness the glorious sight.

indiegirl
08-08-2022, 05:17 PM
Posted my ad for a new roommate and put the room rent price at 1200 since the price of electric, water, gas, trash, cable, internet, etc. bills is too high per month thanks to inflation or whatever is happening. I hope this price works out. This world is getting too expensive!

The room looks really nice after I cleaned it, replaced the sheets with new sheets, and bought a new comforter for the room. I really made sure to make it worth the price.

whirlerz
08-08-2022, 08:32 PM
That's a great price, I hope you get a great roomie!

miss.a.p1600
08-09-2022, 04:43 AM
I confess. I don’t like having sex with 97% of men and I don’t like living with men.

miss.a.p1600
08-09-2022, 08:39 AM
I’m feeling a bit agitated by the hoops employers make you jump through.

Yes I’d love the extra cash, the benefits, etc. But hours of applications, new hire paperwork out the ass, invasive drug tests, level 2 fbi background checks, the anxiety and headache, etc……for a average pay work at home position …. Really?!?

I’m trying to find a silver lining and maybe its my own self getting in the way and self sabotaging my opportunities.

indiegirl
08-09-2022, 10:48 AM
https://www.tmz.com/2022/08/09/china-langya-virus-infected-fatal/

Here we go again. New virus in China and 35 infected. Langya Virus. Same side effects as covid but people who have it are reported to be having liver and kidney failure.

Close off travel to China now until you figure out more about it! I'm not going through this shit again. We still aren't done with Covid here.

Aurora_Sunset
08-09-2022, 12:58 PM
^^Mother Nature really be out here, just DONE with us humans lol

lynn2009
08-09-2022, 07:11 PM
Being older and maybe mildly wiser, I don't like Grey's Anatomy anymore because all that relationships are so toxic. But I still can't stop watching it, I'm only on season 4 and there are 19 now!! That is a lot of wasted time.

buttonpop
08-09-2022, 09:22 PM
(no quotes please)

my brother-in-law got blackout drunk while his wife was out of town on a business trip. He left their 3 kids alone downstairs without food or diaper changes while he drank 3 huge bottles of everclear. His wife found out when their oldest daughter (7yo) answered BIL's phone and said "daddys asleep and wont wake up!" My fiancee and I drove hours to get there and spent the last two days watching the kids while he got drunk in his room upstairs, only coming out to throw up all over his daughters room or to come down in the middle of the night to the living room where we all were sleeping and stare at us with a glazed expression, refusing to say a word to anyone. Today he finally talked to my fiancee and told her he wants to die. He signed a contract years ago that he wouldn't get drunk ever again or else his marriage is over, so he knows he fucked up. his wife is trying to get home as fast as she can, but I'm a little afraid he'll attempt before she gets back tomorrow morning.

The last two days have been so hard. I barely slept, and these kids are a handful. The 7yo especially; she wants CONSTANT attention, she cannot get enough, and she refuses to play on her own. If you turn away from her for 10 seconds she'll say your name over and over or ask you a question or run over and ask what you're doing and why. sooooo freaking annoying, and it made it impossible for us to deal with her drunk dad upstairs. Grandma is staying with them tonight and I'm so glad that we were able to leave.

WendiStarr
08-10-2022, 05:11 AM
I have a confession. I feel like I have to post this so that my recent hospital and surgery and everything makes more sense. In May when I found out that I was pregnant again, I had thought that I'd just get an abortion due to the circumstances. I bought the pills from the website and had them shipped by mail. They arrived. I never had such bad nausea and vomiting in my life as I had with that pregnancy and I was only 5 weeks. I contemplated taking the pills just to end the misery but in the end I threw the pills in the trash and decided to keep the baby. At 7 weeks I had an early fetal blood test done that said it was a boy. Fast forward to week 10 when I went for an ultrasound and found out I had a 2cm subchorionic hematoma. I went back at week 13 and was told that the hematoma had grown a bit bigger and to come back on the 29th of this month to monitor it. I thought that maybe it would go away and be reabsorbed until this Monday when I suddenly started heavily bleeding. I knew that the blood was not a good sign but the ob had told me that sometimes bleeding can happen and the baby could still survive. I found out in the ER that the baby had died. Just that morning at 10am I had heard his heartbeat at 159. Then there I was, staring at a silent ultrasound image of my son, no heartbeat. I had to have surgery to remove him yesterday morning. My state has a new law that requires people to either bury or cremate their stillborn or miscarried fetus. Now I have to make a decision that I never in my life would imagine that Is have to make for one of my babies. I posted a picture of a sun dress that I had bought from a street fair, strategically taken from the front so that nobody could see, but this is from another angle..57555 I was secretly pregnant this whole time(if you follow my Twitter, then some of you knew) but I'm not anymore. I think I will be choosing to cremate him so that I can have something tangible to remind me of what would've been my only son, among 3 daughters. I'm getting my tubes removed because my body and heart cannot take any more losses.

miss.a.p1600
08-10-2022, 06:38 AM
Sorry to hear this Wendi and I am praying for you!

miss.a.p1600
08-10-2022, 06:39 AM
That sucks buttonpop.

He deserves a very tough ultimatum

buttonpop
08-10-2022, 02:17 PM
Wendi, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how much grief and sadness you are feeling right now. I wish you healing and peace.


My confession is that the whole situation with my BIL getting drunk when he was supposed to care for his kids really brought up a lot of trauma from my past. My parents neglected me around age 11 on. They didn't provide me consistent food, clothes, or medical care and I moved out at 16 because I was already taking care of myself at a young age anyway. The neglect started when I developed severe insomnia and my parents refused to take me to the doctor or help me. I would lie in bed for 4-5 hours unable to fall asleep and worrying about how tired I was going to be the next day. I would go to my parents room and stand at the foot of their bed to ask them for help, but my dad never woke up and my mom got sick of waking up to see me staring at her (as an adult I understand this would be freaky but your child needs help!). instead of getting me help for my insomnia, she just started locking her door at night. I would come to her door at 1am and just curl on the floor outside her door trying to get some comfort just being near her room i guess. that memory is extremely painful to think about.

carmen_b
08-10-2022, 02:26 PM
^ Aw that is so traumatic. There were probably resources too at your school ( therapy to help and food resources even ) but you probably didn't know to ask at age 11 ! Plus some simple medication may have helped! Ugh !

:(

miss.a.p1600
08-10-2022, 02:41 PM
So my dumb ass didn’t turn a long form that the job requires (they didn’t tell me a deadline) which allows them to dig into my background fbi level deep and it was causing me anxiety which caused me to procrastinate.

The recruiting manager said I missed that hiring class because I didn’t get EVERYTHING in on time but they have a similar position open which starts a week later.

Now I have to go through all the hoops again. And I have to get everything in fast.

This is bittersweet because I can finally free myself and get to a better place SOLO if I can pull this off but the anxiety of it all has me feeling depressed and defeated.

Just shag me backwards unlubed with a plastic BBC.

I spent yet another $100 for overnight shipping of yet another detox drink.

I’m gonna need some anti anxiety pills. The strong ones. After I go through these job pre qualifications AND complete my first day.

buttonpop
08-10-2022, 03:08 PM
^ Aw that is so traumatic. There were probably resources too at your school ( therapy to help and food resources even ) but you probably didn't know to ask at age 11 ! Plus some simple medication may have helped! Ugh !

:(
My school did give me discount lunch for a dime (often the only meal I ate) but that's the only resource I was ever offered. From the outside, I didn't look like I was being neglected at all, so I think that's why nobody intervened. The neglect slowly got worse from ages 11-13 but I could take care of myself. I sewed my own clothes or bought clothes with my own money (mowing lawns, babysitting, and later got a housekeeping job at 15), I learned how to cut my own hair, I was clean and well groomed. I ate dinner at friends' houses and dated older guys, so that's how I got food. Plus I still got good grades and didn't misbehave in class, so even more reason I "seemed" fine. I was open about what was going on with friends, friends' parents, teachers, etc but nobody ever told me it was not okay or did anything to help me (except the discount lunch). I think people thought I was exaggerating or they just didn't care because I was surviving just fine on my own.

I'm doing EMDR (a type of therapy) right now and a lot of this stuff is coming up now even though I haven't thought about it years.

chanzep
08-10-2022, 08:35 PM
Wendi I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you are feeling and you've already been through alot. I'm glad your mum has been able to be there for you.

moneybags
08-10-2022, 10:57 PM
@wendistar I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing okay.

@buttonpop-i think we all have experienced family dysfunction to a degree-some of us worst than others. My dad is an alcoholic. I cut him off when he started being abusive to me. It’s sad to see. I wouldn’t wish alcoholism on my worst enemy. I myself relapsed when Covid started. I’ve been sober for 8 months now. AlAnon is a good resource. I like the support, but didn’t like the religious stuff.



My confession-researching attachment trauma. How traumatic it is for us a strippers/cam models to be shunned from our community and ostracized. It’s literally the same punishment they give prisoners. It’s considered the worst form of punishment.


I’ve been through hell. It’s a miracle I’m alive and not a psychopath. If I didn’t have such a big heart then I’d be a fucked up individual. My relationship with God has been my source of comfort. I’ve been through hell and back.

indiegirl
08-10-2022, 11:31 PM
I have a confession. I feel like I have to post this so that my recent hospital and surgery and everything makes more sense. In May when I found out that I was pregnant again, I had thought that I'd just get an abortion due to the circumstances. I bought the pills from the website and had them shipped by mail. They arrived. I never had such bad nausea and vomiting in my life as I had with that pregnancy and I was only 5 weeks. I contemplated taking the pills just to end the misery but in the end I threw the pills in the trash and decided to keep the baby. At 7 weeks I had an early fetal blood test done that said it was a boy. Fast forward to week 10 when I went for an ultrasound and found out I had a 2cm subchorionic hematoma. I went back at week 13 and was told that the hematoma had grown a bit bigger and to come back on the 29th of this month to monitor it. I thought that maybe it would go away and be reabsorbed until this Monday when I suddenly started heavily bleeding. I knew that the blood was not a good sign but the ob had told me that sometimes bleeding can happen and the baby could still survive. I found out in the ER that the baby had died. Just that morning at 10am I had heard his heartbeat at 159. Then there I was, staring at a silent ultrasound image of my son, no heartbeat. I had to have surgery to remove him yesterday morning. My state has a new law that requires people to either bury or cremate their stillborn or miscarried fetus. Now I have to make a decision that I never in my life would imagine that Is have to make for one of my babies. I posted a picture of a sun dress that I had bought from a street fair, strategically taken from the front so that nobody could see, but this is from another angle..57555 I was secretly pregnant this whole time(if you follow my Twitter, then some of you knew) but I'm not anymore. I think I will be choosing to cremate him so that I can have something tangible to remind me of what would've been my only son, among 3 daughters. I'm getting my tubes removed because my body and heart cannot take any more losses.

You deserve the biggest hug right now. *Massive HUG* I follow your posts on here to check in on you to see if you are doing okay... and you are an incredibly strong woman with the obstacles life has thrown your way! I am so sorry this happened to you :(.

kimbe
08-10-2022, 11:48 PM
Sorry to hear WendiStarr, you've got my best wishes!

Dreamqueen
08-11-2022, 02:03 AM
I'm so sorry for your intense loss @Wendi Starr.
My heart aches for you.:brokenhea:hug:

It's not my business, but would you consider holding off on the tubal ligation for a while?
Only because it seems like you really want to have a son.
You never know what miracle the future will bring.

miss.a.p1600
08-11-2022, 11:34 AM
I confess. I have mostly checked out of my relationship (the just barely average paycheck and the kids thing should have been an absolute dealbreaker), I fake it for my safety and to secure the resources for my next level up, and I have thought to myself “how and what am I going to tell him once I leave”

indiegirl
08-11-2022, 01:23 PM
I could literally strangle L in my class. I am so done with her. I can't believe I have a year and a half with her in class. I hope I don't blow up and say what I think one of these days. She cuts into our time SO MUCH. We just covered the trauma center portion of the class, wants to now work at a level 1 hospital, and she lives right next to one. I swear to fuck if I get stuck in the same hospital as her. The nonstop talkers usually won't make it like her but who knows. Please god, do the right thing and have them put her at a different site for clinicals. I CAN'T deal with her anymore. bahahaha. She definitely has bipolar and is on a medicine that is clearly not working. I'm just in awe this woman was not cut from the program. She went from wanting to work in pediatrics to wanting to work in neuro and now trauma along with a level 1 hospital. Go to plastics and get outta here haha. I hope she fails a class so I don't have to hear her interrupting class or taking up 45 extra minutes on a test while everyone else is done.

Also my advertisement escort site went from being free to 150 to 275 and now they increased it to 345 a month. This is greed at it's finest. It's truly shitty to do that to us ladies.

LoveyD
08-11-2022, 09:29 PM
+1on enjoying being single. I'm turned off by men too.

Edit: Wendi I'm so so sorry. Brokenhearted to hear the news. Hun please take care of yourself. Sending huge hugs your way.

miss.a.p1600
08-15-2022, 05:40 AM
My partner annoying tf out of me right now.

I have made up my mind I don’t want to be with him long term because I’d rather be single and focus on myself and my financial wealth building than to constantly deal with someone who is STILL affected by the piss poor financial decisions him and his ex wife made together.

He’s a decent dude. Just not what I want right now.

Now I have to extricate myself from this. I’m praying this new job comes through so I can have an easier time leveling up without him.

miss.a.p1600
08-16-2022, 07:25 AM
I hid my secret edible stash …. While I was high …. Then forgot where I hid them …. And thought L saw/found them/ate them

xxxGothBarbie
08-17-2022, 10:41 AM
Kind of sad/annoyed that my u.k crush hasn't messaged me back in almost a week. He's done this before and usually replies within this time frame but still... I can't help but feel cynical.

xxxGothBarbie
08-17-2022, 07:04 PM
Totally taking the night off. I did a baby facial earlier and want my face clear of makeup until tmrw. I'm also lounging , snacking with unsolved mysteries. Self care night.

carmen_b
08-17-2022, 07:08 PM
I feel like a big secret in my life is that I still have phases where I feel like I'm somewhat * just surviving * .
I often feel scared and anxious about what " bad " issue will happen next that I have to face.

So far..... I've made it through all of the issues . I think being around my family is bringing this up because I'm like " oh can I be honest about these thoughts or should I just pretend " ? I made a to do list of items I procrastinated ( it's mostly medical appointments for myself still on the list ) . I'm trying to work through them.

miss.a.p1600
08-17-2022, 07:38 PM
I feel like that too.

I’ve been living with someone not having to pay rent but I STILL feel like I am not where I want to be.

L blows up at me for having boundaries (mostly revolving around his kids and ex wife) and for expecting a provider man (who dutiful man who positively provides without any complaints).

chanzep
08-17-2022, 11:02 PM
How dare he get mad at your boundaries . You have been more than accommodating to him and his mess. He disturbs your peace all the time. He's not going to find what he wants a woman to take on him and his kids and pay for stuff. He can dream on. You have put up with a lot from him don't feel bad.
If I were you I would save my new paycheck and bounce.

miss.a.p1600
08-18-2022, 06:08 AM
^ Girl I’m going to do exactly that.

In addition to him being clingy af, trying to convince me to subscribe to and accept his mediocre existence, failing to procure a higher paying job within a year and a half…….Him getting pushy about me hosting/taking care of these kids while he’s at work is my final straw.

Bertha can have his ass back. It’s too much for me.

My home should be MY castle where I can relax and feel peace. This is the very least a man should provide.

I am going to hustle my ASS off and make as much money gig work until the new job starts in about a week and a half cause I won’t get paid from the job until two weeks after I start.

Saving up for storage unit and rent deposit and credit improvements

I wish I could kick him out but I’d rather go to a better part of town anyways

indiegirl
08-18-2022, 11:40 AM
I don't understand people who have to get dressed up in order to leave the house to do something basic such as going to the store. One of my teachers is like this and gets changed out of her scrubs just to pick her son up from school and then puts it back on for class. I've known people like this and I don't get it. Meanwhile, I was totally ready to roll on up to court in my pajamas if I was forced to go down to the courthouse for jury duty this year. LOL. I feel like there is a time and a place for getting ready and for now, that's only when I'm getting paid for work.

chanzep
08-18-2022, 02:15 PM
Good for you Miss P you will feel better once your gone. It's been a year since I last saw my ex, he's still trying to avoid divorce but not seeing him and blocking him on my phone. Knowing he doesn't know where I live . I feel so much better.

chanzep
08-18-2022, 02:16 PM
Indie I agree I go out looking crazy. Men's t shirt leggings is my signature look.

chanzep
08-18-2022, 04:07 PM
My job stressing me I got chick fill a for lunch.

whirlerz
08-18-2022, 04:50 PM
Aw!
I am so sorry my Wendi & buttonpop, hugs to you 2 wonderful ladies!:hug:

miss.a.p1600
08-19-2022, 01:22 AM
I don't understand people who have to get dressed up in order to leave the house to do something basic such as going to the store. One of my teachers is like this and gets changed out of her scrubs just to pick her son up from school and then puts it back on for class. I've known people like this and I don't get it. Meanwhile, I was totally ready to roll on up to court in my pajamas if I was forced to go down to the courthouse for jury duty this year. LOL. I feel like there is a time and a place for getting ready and for now, that's only when I'm getting paid for work.

Sugar Daddy Headquarters calls for a particular wardrobe.

There is one REALLY nice grocery store in town where wealthy men go. I dress like a cute Sunday school teacher or feminine business executive when I go there.

Her kid could be at a top tier private school which is packed with rich DILFs. I’d dress in anything cute (not my work uniform) if I could help it.

smeca
08-19-2022, 01:48 AM
^I get dressed up to do anything now. Spending all week mostly alone doing vanilla work at my computer, I have way too many nice outfits for how rarely they are observed by other humans now lol

miss.a.p1600
08-19-2022, 04:32 AM
Good for you Miss P you will feel better once your gone. It's been a year since I last saw my ex, he's still trying to avoid divorce but not seeing him and blocking him on my phone. Knowing he doesn't know where I live . I feel so much better.

Thank you chanzep.

Also,

How did you keep your new home address private from him?

I have a P.O. Box all my mail and such can go to to keep my address private

But for extra security layers…..

Did you have to procure a gated, controlled access, and/or garage to make it even harder for him to try to pop up uninvited?

Marina Starr
08-19-2022, 07:51 AM
My confession for today is about my neighbor.

She's a huge trump support but very friendly to me. She'd always say hi whenever we run into each other when she's walking her dog. The past week she's not being her usual friendly and warm self. She was distanced and giving me the cold shoulder. It occured to me it was because I was rocking my 'Biden/Harris' hat.

So yesterday I asked her if she's okay because she doesn't seem friendly as how I've experienced her. I acted all sad and pretending like she "got" to me.
I can tell she was very gleeful about it. This morning she was friendly and said hi. She must thought by giving me the cold shoulder and silent treatment, and being passive aggressive really controlled made me sad and feel so bad.

Neither does she knows I'm playing her like a fiddle, lmao.

I do the same shit to fuckboys, acting all sad and so hurt when they ignored me because they can't get sex. They hurt me so bad. Funny thing is they really think they so.
Joke's on them. I call that playing the vanilla hoes role.

https://i.ibb.co/g7KpNyF/64f14abf6d09bc0953f18846d1dd9d65.gif (https://imgbb.com/)