Log in

View Full Version : Confessions Thread!



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 [417] 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426

neverendingkneebruises
10-21-2022, 08:23 PM
I'm just going to focus on solely stage money at work for the time being and not even worry about hustling dances/vip. Unless a customer asks me first. It's like pulling teeth & gets me in such a mood.

I'm still making enough from just stage to cover my bills and then some so I'm thankful for that.!

Honestly ever since making this decision for myself it's a weight off my shoulders. :) Just gonna use the freed time/labor to hardcore focus on my fulltime career.

I've been holing myself up in DR in between stage sets in my nice cozy blanket, snackin, and reading textbooks. It's awesome. :D I feel so free. Lol

Edit; of course right after I write this a guy gets a bouncer to grab me and take me to vip. Lmao

carmen_b
10-21-2022, 10:00 PM
I am writing to you all from my parents spare room haha.
I got OUT of the town I was living in with J.
I still have some business to take care of around there so I'll be back as clients need me.
I just couldn't see staying and renting a room ongoing . I had to come drop some stuff off .

I feel SUPER embarrassed in a way . I'm not quite sure how to explain. I just feel it's really embarrassing so I've only told one friend so far ( like 5 min. ago ).

chanzep
10-21-2022, 10:35 PM
Why are you embarrassed ?. It's just a breakup your doing the right thing. So What if your at your parents house . At least your not in a relationship that's making you unhappy. I'm sure you will be happy again soon. Your decide where you want to be and meet someone else .

carmen_b
10-21-2022, 10:37 PM
^ I guess it's just that I *had* a very nice house to live in and I ( obviously ) couldn't keep it together. But J was super unreasonable and I guess I'll tell the whole story to people who will listen.
I guess they wouldn't blame me ......

chanzep
10-21-2022, 10:56 PM
Yes I understand , you will live in a nice house again and it will be yours, you won't have to tiptoe around people and their kids.
I had to move from a luxury apartment with security in the nicest part of the city so I get it. I had to downsize and move to suburbs to a much more basic place to afford a safe area.I'm happier tho. You will be happy again too.

indiegirl
10-21-2022, 11:03 PM
^ I guess it's just that I *had* a very nice house to live in and I ( obviously ) couldn't keep it together. But J was super unreasonable and I guess I'll tell the whole story to people who will listen.
I guess they wouldn't blame me ......

You dodged a painful long-term bullet of divorce. Your person is out there for you when it is time. It's not this guy and that is totally okay.

Love this breakup song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ_L0eaoIdQ

chanzep
10-21-2022, 11:13 PM
Deffo divorce is stressful.

kimbe
10-21-2022, 11:31 PM
^^I can understand that you feel like you do, but you should be proud of getting yourself out of a non-functional relationship. A breakup at a later time would probably be even worse..

carmen_b
10-22-2022, 08:29 AM
Thanks for posting that with those details. I was finding myself stressing like " my own house has a NORMAL tub not a huge soaking tub " lol !
You know what ? I'm in the real estate industry now and I'll just watch for what is out there scanning for the bathroom photos first ha.
I'm going to miss that bathtub with heart felt longing haha !
But it is not worth being in the vicinity of J so ............


Yes I understand , you will live in a nice house again and it will be yours, you won't have to tiptoe around people and their kids.
I had to move from a luxury apartment with security in the nicest part of the city so I get it. I had to downsize and move to suburbs to a much more basic place to afford a safe area.I'm happier tho. You will be happy again too.

moneybags
10-22-2022, 11:43 AM
Oh my godÂ…I tried to move all my sex toys before the movers got here and I had my stripper shoes out! OMG! IÂ’m so embarrassed! No wonder why he was flirting with me.

indiegirl
10-22-2022, 10:17 PM
I confess I literally drove all the way to the grocery store just so I can eat mini pretzels while watching tv. LOL.

miss.a.p1600
10-24-2022, 03:10 PM
I confess my current employer (the main manager) is acting like a corporate slave driver and setting unrealistic performance expectations. What part of “I just got out of training is not registering?”

Are there any employers who aren’t psychopaths?!? Bringing in millions for themselves while the kick back and ride employees into the ground while paying them chump change

Im gonna keep working my second income position on weekends, keep an eye on other companies, etc …. just in case

Fml!!!!!

charlie61
10-24-2022, 04:14 PM
I confess my current employer (the main manager) is acting like a corporate slave driver and setting unrealistic performance expectations. What part of “I just got out of training is not registering?”

Are there any employers who aren’t psychopaths?!? Bringing in millions for themselves while the kick back and ride employees into the ground while paying them chump change

Im gonna keep working my second income position on weekends, keep an eye on other companies, etc …. just in case

Fml!!!!!

I started out in a position like this at my current company. It's their job to encourage productivity no matter how productive you are. Try to not take it personally or get stressed about it. I always put it back on them - like, be excited to learn more, ask them for specific tips on how to improve, etc. Being engaged and having a good attitude will often get them on your side.

For me, it was worth it to stick around, because i started moving up after "doing my time" in that entry-level position. And the reason I'm good at my current job is because i got the "in the trenches" experience at that company that others may lack. It's invaluable experience, even though it was rough at times.

Not sure what your company's policy is, but we could post out to other positions internally after a year. So maybe try to set that as a goal? Time flies. It could be worth it if you're looking to move up.

chanzep
10-24-2022, 05:57 PM
Don't let this company stress you out, just give yourself time your still new . Lots of companies act like this mine included . They are not worth the stress try not to let them get to you. After a while you can see if it's a good fit or not. I know some companies are ridiculous tho. One place I worked last year only a month after training because the supervisor was crazy and they kept messing up my pay.
If they are paying correctly and it's bearable stay until you secure a apartment.

lurkingtitties
10-24-2022, 06:12 PM
Love this breakup song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ_L0eaoIdQ

Damn, I fux with this! It's nice to find a current country artist with some substance and not just shitty top 40.

miss.a.p1600
10-24-2022, 06:32 PM
I started out in a position like this at my current company. It's their job to encourage productivity no matter how productive you are. Try to not take it personally or get stressed about it. I always put it back on them - like, be excited to learn more, ask them for specific tips on how to improve, etc. Being engaged and having a good attitude will often get them on your side.

For me, it was worth it to stick around, because i started moving up after "doing my time" in that entry-level position. And the reason I'm good at my current job is because i got the "in the trenches" experience at that company that others may lack. It's invaluable experience, even though it was rough at times.

Not sure what your company's policy is, but we could post out to other positions internally after a year. So maybe try to set that as a goal? Time flies. It could be worth it if you're looking to move up.

Excellent feedback. Thank you.

I may need an attitude adjustment (see the challenges from a positive perspective) and a bit of confidence.

Part of where I feel crappy is just when I get the hang of the skill they taught us a couple weeks ago, they changed my job position last minute (forcing me to learn *that* role quickly), then changed my role again last minute plus added a days worth of training for another new skill without applied application in training environment, expected me to remember EVERYTHING, then pushed me to perform more than double my goal the fist couple weeks.

I do want to make more of a positive impact in my career at current so I’ll keep maintaining an open mindset because they have other opportunities available after 3 months and I want to make some upward movement in very near future


Don't let this company stress you out, just give yourself time your still new . Lots of companies act like this mine included . They are not worth the stress try not to let them get to you. After a while you can see if it's a good fit or not. I know some companies are ridiculous tho. One place I worked last year only a month after training because the supervisor was crazy and they kept messing up my pay.
If they are paying correctly and it's bearable stay until you secure a apartment.

Indeed. Keeping my eye on the prize

WendiStarr
10-24-2022, 06:40 PM
I've got that damn doctor dude on my mind too much lately. It's probably just a comfort thing since he made me feel safe, something I've not felt in a while. I'm moving in 8 days into my own place. I've got more important things to think about than men. Ugh.

charlie61
10-24-2022, 08:39 PM
Yesss miss a p, you totally got this! A lot of those managers are super burned out from high turnover, too, so they're probably doing their best, but many of them don't have the best vibes... they're on autopilot. Tell them you're invested in the company and want to do well, butter them up, get them to invest in you. Do your best with the job, make connections, build your reputation, and move up when the time is right! Bigger and better things are just around the corner.

I'll shut up now, lol, i just feel you!! I have been there. ♡

neverendingkneebruises
10-25-2022, 01:52 AM
Delete

lurkingtitties
10-25-2022, 06:31 AM
In that last picture with no makeup I think a lighter/warm honey brown would suit you. But in the first picture with your club gear on the dark hair really really works.

indiegirl
10-25-2022, 06:43 AM
I lost 6 of my covid pounds from 2 years ago in a matter of 2 weeks bahaha. I plan on losing 4-6 more soon without the gym or basically doing anything. I'll go back to the gym in 14 months or whenever I graduate. I lose weight very easily but I can't expose myself to any gym sickness when they don't clean the equipment until I graduate lol. I definitely don't look fat but I want my super slim bod back pre-covid!!

charlie61
10-25-2022, 07:05 AM
I'm stuck between keeping my hair dark, fading it to light brown or going ginger. I've legit been stuck on this for 6 months. I like pulling off the raven-haired vixen/italian beauty thing but not sure if another color would suit me more

[url]https://ibb.co/8NZ4h
[url]https://ibb.co/vzn5x
[url]https://ibb.co/LCf7wrl]

Looooooove the dark hair on you, omg. Gorgeous!!! I really can't picture light brown or ginger with your complexion. I think you're spot on with the raven-haired beauty stuff. So beautiful!!

Dreamqueen
10-25-2022, 09:10 AM
I'm stuck between keeping my hair dark, fading it to light brown or going ginger. I've legit been stuck on this for 6 months. I like pulling off the raven-haired vixen/italian beauty thing but not sure if another color would suit me more

https://ibb.co/8NZ4hdz
https://ibb.co/vzn5xWV
https://ibb.co/LCf7w0Y

Wow!
I'm now officially a lesbian.:flirt::heartbeat

charlie61
10-25-2022, 09:53 AM
Literal perfection!! Don't change a thing!!!

carmen_b
10-25-2022, 03:17 PM
NeverEnding .... so gorgeous ! :)

carmen_b
10-25-2022, 03:19 PM
Ok ..... I am burning through this TO DO list at least *trying* to get the option in place to go to Mexico for 3-4 weeks of Nov. ( or part way into Dec. if I don't make it out until later ) !
Made a medical appt. I had procrastinated ( I have to get a camera put in bladder yikes ) and I was stressing .... like ... what IF I don't do it and THEN have problems out on the road ? I'd feel so stupid ! Ugh.

There were various other odds and ends on this list. Trying to get at least some done.
Half the list can just travel with me ha IF I end up wanting to go.

I feel temped to stay at the AirBnB just because it's no cost and open Nov. 2 -10 .
BUT ..... go back to my old area just for that ? Eh. It may not be time yet to " reclaim " that area as one of my home areas.

chanzep
10-25-2022, 03:41 PM
I love the dark hair on you Never. You are hott. Toy with some wigs if you want to change your hair color .

chanzep
10-25-2022, 03:45 PM
Carmen you seem really focused since the breakup. Mexico sounds nice. I hope your medical procedure go well. I had a endoscopy a few years ago and was scared but it was fine. I was just emotional from the anesthesia.
I think just get it out of the way as soon as you can.

neverendingkneebruises
10-25-2022, 04:17 PM
Lol I'm blushing :-[ you guys are too nice. I've been feeling mehh lately and that was just the kind of positivity I needed. :)

I had to switch clubs recently cuz I moved but it sucks. I want to make the 2 hr drive back to my old club so badly.

LoveyD
10-25-2022, 08:12 PM
Literal perfection!! Don't change a thing!!!

@neverending I agree! Stunning the way you are!

neverendingkneebruises
10-25-2022, 08:33 PM
Delete!

kimbe
10-25-2022, 08:36 PM
^ Keep it dark, you look great!

miss.a.p1600
10-27-2022, 07:43 AM
I’ve never been so glad the employer systems are down. Hoping they stay offline as long
As possible

My brain (and body) needs a rest

chanzep
10-27-2022, 11:13 AM
Oh I know that feeling.
I want a job where I can work on a laptop not this big desktop computer. I used to before and work from my couch .

carmen_b
10-28-2022, 01:32 PM
I confess it occurred to me that maybe to rile J up I could reach back out to the " Aviator " the private plane broker I was obsessed with ha and offer J's contact. He could send J updates of the inventory he has ! haha
I'm SO helpful !
I know it would piss him off to know I've been in touch.

I WON'T . I won't. ha

carmen_b
10-28-2022, 09:21 PM
Oh I'm single now. haha
So I could also contact the Aviator and spell out *exactly* what benefits might be available if he were single, up for taking me city hopping, and can actually plan a dinner this time around lol.

I was pissed last time he didn't break out the big perks package for me !
When he didn't organize a nice date I " lost " his number .
I remember he told me he was heading to city xyz to deliver a plane to his buyer and I'm like " why the fuck am I not on it " ?
Maybe he needed a little incentive. :)

I mean ..... I'm not really *ready* to date per say. If I'm potentially ready at some point maybe start at the private plane hanger ? haha

miss.a.p1600
10-29-2022, 09:37 PM
I have been ruminating what the “breakup speech” will look like.

I definitely won’t give the breakup speech in person - if I give one at all.

I guess I need to take things step by step so I don’t get overwhelmed, paranoid, and talk myself out of doing what needs to be done.

carmen_b
10-29-2022, 10:10 PM
^ How close do you think you are ?
I think I remember you mentioning you planned to leave discreetly like a work day for example ?

miss.a.p1600
10-30-2022, 04:35 AM
^ How close do you think you are ?
I think I remember you mentioning you planned to leave discreetly like a work day for example ?

yes that’s what I want to do.

My last conversation with my therapist, she was like “what do you plan to DO to get out of this?”

i told her I planned to start with a storage unit and try to move items without him knowing. So I have to at least do that before I meet with her again.

it’s a bit challenging because there are cameras and sensors all over the house and I want to pay as much of my bills up, learn self defense, and perhaps procure more weapons first.

Also his current job - his boss let’s him leave early like yesterday so last thing i need is him to see movers on cam and rush to the house from work. I want to wait till he’s in the new job where the manager won’t give him freedom like that.

I think if I can tolerate this dude and his kids and ex wife for another few weeks I’ll have my ducks in a row.

carmen_b
10-30-2022, 08:12 AM
^ I could be reading this wrong but I don't think you should be scared of L .

He is kind of a bitch lol.

carmen_b
10-30-2022, 08:13 AM
^ I may come back to edit that haha

I guess you have evaluated it and know you feel *some* risk so this all had to be done in secret .

I bet you could move over the course of a few days and he wouldn't even do anything.

carmen_b
10-30-2022, 08:16 AM
Are you concerned about large pieces of furniture for example ? Like what do you HAVE other than your documents , laptop , clothes , personal items ect.
Is it ALL of a high enough value that you couldn't sell a few of the more bulky things just to have this easier ?

Techincally ...... he did hold you down that time so you could also get a personal protective order on him if you wanted . The cops can be there too while you pack especially if you have one.

carmen_b
10-30-2022, 08:19 AM
If you needed to break it over two days do it on one of his 8 hour shifts and then the 2nd day come back with the cops ( because obviously at that point with half the stuff gone he will know whats up ).

Dreamqueen
10-30-2022, 09:07 AM
I confess that I've decided to just give in to my agoraphobia.
For now.
I've had therapy all summer ( which didn't help at all), and I'm ok with being like this.

I tried to psych myself up to go to a very high end supermarket yesterday.
It's only 2 blocks away.

I took a shower, but then started pacing back and forth, contemplating it.
Nope.
Didn't feel right.
My home is my sanctuary, and safe spot.
It is what it is.

indiegirl
10-30-2022, 06:28 PM
My electricity circuit breaker panel box is from the 50's. That damn thing has lasted for 72 years at my house and I finally have to replace it in the next 2 days. MANNN. I hate spending money It's gonna be like 2 grand but I have no internet now with renters in the house. I'm doing homework in my car at a starbucks lol.

chanzep
10-30-2022, 06:39 PM
Miss P I would move sooner rather than later, especially the way he has no boundaries even physical. You seem like your close with your family , have them help you move even if it's just them being there and you pay movers . Try to have males if you can. If he's going to watching cameras and calling you to see what's going on in rushing home have them talk to him . He's less likely to get crazy with people around. I don't trust how he will act with just you.

miss.a.p1600
10-31-2022, 03:37 AM
^good point. Especially about Having people around like male family members is a good idea.

And no I don’t have large furniture. But I did supply about 75 % of the stuff (minus the furniture) in this house cause all his shit was old and cheap and I made him get rid of it.

carmen_b
10-31-2022, 08:40 AM
^ I noticed when I moved that home depot had packing boxes pretty cheap ( very sturdy card board ones ). Get those and strong tape / marker . Label the boxes on the outside very well so there is no guessing what's there. If you end up with a temporary stay somewhere think in terms of what you need JUST for that 30-60 days stay. You might want to make a list. I took about 30% of my clothing , I took jewelry , ect. and boxed the rest up. Put the rest in storage.

If you end up going directly into an apartment it could be even easier !

With apartment hunting, be AGGRESSIVE in this market.
When you go view have a xerox of your drivers license, a recent paystub to prove income , possibly even a bank statement showing last 4-6 weeks of deposits, and a CHECK ready in case you want it.
^ Having all the in hand will put you above the competition who might want to " think about it " for 24 hours ( probably gone by then if your local market is at hot as my state is right now ).

whirlerz
10-31-2022, 09:10 AM
My electricity circuit breaker panel box is from the 50's. That damn thing has lasted for 72 years at my house and I finally have to replace it in the next 2 days. MANNN. I hate spending money It's gonna be like 2 grand but I have no internet now with renters in the house. I'm doing homework in my car at a starbucks lol.

DAMN! ^

Shit, no renters either? One of the tenants in one of the other houses owned died (booze), 2 are behind in rent here, +the one couple moved out..

If you were in my state, I'd ask my crush to do that, he's an electrician, (btw he's one of the 2 that owes, he's working, but very far, prop Mgr asked if I could get in touch w/him, I texted him but no answer, so Idk).

chanzep
10-31-2022, 11:21 AM
Now Apartments drop their prices for the Winter you should be able to get a good deal.