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AvaJade
12-17-2022, 10:41 AM
He wrote back and I of course can't find the reply.

To paraphrase he said he's knows I put in effort to try to get us together in a physical way . He had started seeing someone else and stepped back to see how that relationship would progress. He said something about how he wasn't comfy being intimate but it wasn't due to a lack of attraction. Then he went on to say something about being turned on all day receiving my emails lol.

^ So .... I " knew " about that element when he cancelled our third date about two weeks after we met but then a few weeks after that cancellation we went the basketball game . So was he seeing that person THEN and still invited me to the game?

At this point I'm leaning towards just going out solo this evening.
I bet a lot of other people will be out. :)

TBH when I read the other post about him I thought it sounded like he was in a relationship and was trying not to physically cheat while still dating around for whatever reason.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 10:59 AM
Yes I'm wondering if he was in a LONG relationship already and was " searching " .

He had phrased it as " a relationship that was developing " .
I asked for specifics back then such us if there was intimacy in that relationship and he said there wasn't ..... but there was planned activities and he thought something might develop. I think there was a week there I was suggesting he see us both ( as long as things were just at a " cuddle and make out " level with us both ).

I would find it very odd though that he would have me drop him AT his place if the relationship was serious.

Something doesn't seem to be adding up. If the relationship was over at 5 weeks after I'd met him ( when we went the the ballgame ) why didn't he make a move at THAT point ? If it wasn't ..... why torture me with the game date ?

Maybe it's a better mystery left UN-CRACKED .

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 11:10 AM
I packed a few things for this dog sit and two of the lunches were frozen burritos .
There isn't a microwave here ! Ha. So I had to go BACK to the store and get stuff I could do in
a pan. It's also been driving me nuts at time to do hot water for tea in a pan and not have popcorn from microwave.


Me being a hangry bitch waiting for my instacart delivery. Totally get it, but I am out of food and hungry. My fault!

AvaJade
12-17-2022, 11:29 AM
If the relationship was over at 5 weeks after I'd met him ( when we went the the ballgame ) why didn't he make a move at THAT point ? If it wasn't ..... why torture me with the game date ?

Probably because he was thinking of himself and his own needs and not you. Maybe it was for an ego boost, telling himself he still had options or something.

SnuffleUffleGrass
12-17-2022, 11:34 AM
I need to be motivated today and here I am wasting time on the Internet while drinking coffee. Bad me.

AvaJade
12-17-2022, 11:39 AM
I cried properly for the first time in years this week. I had an osteo treatment and one of the areas treated was my jaw for TMJ...I think a lot got released. It's weird because I used to cry a lot but rarely do anymore - unfortunately I seem to make better progress in life (superficially) when I am more closed off and unemotional about everything, but I am aware I'm not always being authentic.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 12:15 PM
He's a 6'8'' former basketball player lol. Obviously he has options.

Intuition is telling me to leave it.
AND it's like when you'd say to a dog when they are headed towards something .... " LEAVE IT ! ".

I actually think it could really derail what I have going with N which feels like *something*. We are talking everyday via text. It is feeling substantial but I do need to see where he is at also.


Probably because he was thinking of himself and his own needs and not you. Maybe it was for an ego boost, telling himself he still had options or something.

Staci
12-17-2022, 12:40 PM
He's a 6'8'' former basketball player lol. Obviously he has options.

Intuition is telling me to leave it.
AND it's like when you'd say to a dog when they are headed towards something .... " LEAVE IT ! ".

I actually think it could really derail what I have going with N which feels like *something*. We are talking everyday via text. It is feeling substantial but I do need to see where he is at also.
Was N the one that wasn't looking for a relationship?

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 12:47 PM
^ I don't think that is the case necessarily but it might be.
I plan to talk to N tomorrow.
He is the one that said after our first date that he wanted to date non-exclusively ( which I felt was overly transparent ).
Doesn't everyone date non-exclusively the first few weeks ?

But yeah ..... he may be relationship resistant .
The LAST thing I need is another " I hope he changes his mind and takes me seriously " vibe after my J ptsd.
I was going to ask him in person about where he saw things going tomorrow.
I felt like it was in person convo to have.

On the other hand .... it is currently non-exclusive so maybe it's ok to see Teacher tonight ?

indiegirl
12-17-2022, 12:50 PM
Trying times....some instacart driver had the AUDACITY to take a photo of my groceries and WALK to prove she was there. I have security cameras.....unreal
I had to re-order food..I'll be getting my money back. She took it all back on my porch while i was inside waiting. What a cunt. She literally dumped it and I watched on security camera. I also had vodka which requires an ID and she did not go through the process. I'm angry

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 12:57 PM
^ Wait ..... was the food not there ? Lol
Did this person just steal it or something ?

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 12:58 PM
Also .... Teach was suggesting I come over at 5 and we cook ?
Grow up. Make a dinner reservation please. Maybe the casual cook out another time.

This would basically be a " first " date if I agree to a refresh with him.

MAYBE I should leave them both alone. Lol.
Indecision.
I am made at N for the week long gap in seeing him BUT he did try ( for Wed. ) but it was last minute which I found a turn off. He tried for Thurs ( after singing practice cancelled ) and I held my no same day requests policy .

Maybe the teacher just met two people he liked and had to pick one and his intentions were not really that awful?
He picked WRONG lol .

charlie61
12-17-2022, 02:47 PM
Both of these guys seem like duds. Your world just opened back up! Keep moving until you find someone who isn't dead in the water right out of the gate.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 02:50 PM
^ Your take on N is dud too ?
I didn't completely read him that way I have to admit.
He seemed kind and conscious . He seems to be really making an effort on getting to know me. I was thinking I might just let the Wednesday / Thurs thing slide ( supposedly he had tutoring Wed. ) ! The singing practive is EVERY Thurs. ( and I though it might be cancelled that group took FOUR of his evenings the week prior ).
But the chemistry is crazy so maybe that is affecting how I'm thinking.

Teach I can 100% see that evaluation on , ha.
I wrote him another email explaining how *I* got replaced in 2018 while living with someone and I just wanted to MAKE SURE he wasn't doing the " looking while with someone " thing.

Oh ..... I didn't end my looking there ha.

:)

I have rsvp'd for drinks for a tall videographer Monday and possibly a tea or drink with this woman I met on Bumble also ( I suggested Mon or Tues to her ). This stacked calendar may read as a little nuts but I figure some of these may end up as first / only dates ( such as with S 4-5 days ago there just wasn't enough to go on there ).

^ That's is for now, I have bumble on snooze mode now.

miss.a.p1600
12-17-2022, 03:09 PM
He's a 6'8'' former basketball player lol. Obviously he has options.

Intuition is telling me to leave it.
AND it's like when you'd say to a dog when they are headed towards something .... " LEAVE IT ! ".

I actually think it could really derail what I have going with N which feels like *something*. We are talking everyday via text. It is feeling substantial but I do need to see where he is at also.

Former players imo are more delusional than current players.

Typically theyre older, out of shape since they’re not playing anymore, STILL acting like players, have kids / baby’s moms or ex wife lurking somewhere, and unless they invested WELL they’re not making nearly the same amt of money when they were playing

go with your intuition

miss.a.p1600
12-17-2022, 03:13 PM
I really need a refill on edibles but I’m tired af and don’t feel like driving.

I wish there was thc delivery here.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 03:16 PM
^ He's very in shape.
Unless he grew a gut in 4 years or something.
Aw, maybe he's just too pretty to bring onto my personal ball team lol .
It's always such a hassle !

He's known within the state ( college ball ) but it's been a bit , he didn't play pro ball , just as a scholarship.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 03:17 PM
This reminds me I left my vape pen in my parents spare room and they have been to town twice but I wasn't going to ask them to transport it. I could use a little puff to offset first date nerves and if my date/s smoke I thought it would be fun to puff before we went into wherever ......



I really need a refill on edibles but I’m tired af and don’t feel like driving.

I wish there was thc delivery here.

indiegirl
12-17-2022, 03:50 PM
^ Wait ..... was the food not there ? Lol
Did this person just steal it or something ?

She took a photo of the food and walked. I also had a wine purchase which requires photo ID which I had the ID ready for her in person. This woman totally scammed me.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 04:34 PM
^ I may not be reading it but did someone steal it then ?
If so you’ll get your money back with Insta!

charlie61
12-17-2022, 04:47 PM
^ Your take on N is dud too ?
I didn't completely read him that way I have to admit.
He seemed kind and conscious . He seems to be really making an effort on getting to know me. I was thinking I might just let the Wednesday / Thurs thing slide ( supposedly he had tutoring Wed. ) ! The singing practive is EVERY Thurs. ( and I though it might be cancelled that group took FOUR of his evenings the week prior ).
But the chemistry is crazy so maybe that is affecting how I'm thinking.

Teach I can 100% see that evaluation on , ha.
I wrote him another email explaining how *I* got replaced in 2018 while living with someone and I just wanted to MAKE SURE he wasn't doing the " looking while with someone " thing.

Oh ..... I didn't end my looking there ha.

:)

I have rsvp'd for drinks for a tall videographer Monday and possibly a tea or drink with this woman I met on Bumble also ( I suggested Mon or Tues to her ). This stacked calendar may read as a little nuts but I figure some of these may end up as first / only dates ( such as with S 4-5 days ago there just wasn't enough to go on there ).

^ That's is for now, I have bumble on snooze mode now.

I think I'm just picking up on all of the stuff that you aren't into. He has a kid, and scheduling dates / time is already an issue for various reasons. There is just no reason to put more energy into developing something when you're already seeing potential turnoffs / dealbreakers. You just met him and already have complaints.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 04:59 PM
^ I really didn’t mind the spaced out a week dates ( dates 1,2,3 ). This week it would have been nice to do Wed or Thurs AND Sun this week ( date 4 scheduled for Sun ) . We’ve known each other three weeks now so know each other much better.

I should mention he’s finishing grad school.
That last month of school can’t be easy so I didn’t mind a light Dec. schedule.
Plus I’m getting settled here too.

But yeah … you are right in that way.
Kid takes two evenings and singing takes one or slightly more if it's a performance week too.
He doesn’t have a “ ton “ left but it didn’t feel that off track to me.

charlie61
12-17-2022, 05:16 PM
I know you're very physical / sexual in relationships, so i feel like you might be thinking with your dick here. Ignoring some early signs of incompatibility because you love how he touches you. Anyone who is sexually experienced can touch a near-stranger in a way that feels very intimate and loving, you know?

I might be way off-base, and please tell me if i am! Just going off of what you've shared.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 05:16 PM
Teacher says :
My memory of November/December 2018 clearly has some holes. I know I wasn’t in a long term relationship and openly or secretly looking for someone else. For the past few days I was thinking the other girl was my friend L that I’d liked a lot for a couple years. I was thinking something might finally be developing with her (ultimately things didn’t develop, I was essentially her backup plan if her partner at the time didn’t marry her, but he did and we’re all still good friends). It couldn’t have been her. I read a message I sent you that said this other girl was a girl I’d recently met. I noticed this last night, and I haven’t been able to remember who it was. I wish I could tell you more.
If you’re still up for “ restaurant xyz “ let me know.

carmen_b
12-17-2022, 05:19 PM
Good point.
His touch “ feels “ loving.
That could be a skill though .

He must be really sensual though.
Dude made it through two 4 - 4.5 hour make out sessions without getting off ( I don’t think lol ). He seemed to love it.
I’m sure the blue ball torture thing may lose its appeal soon.

It could be that I’m just responding to what I wasn’t getting with J ( extended non sexual touch / make out ).


I know you're very physical / sexual in relationships, so i feel like you might be thinking with your dick here. Ignoring some early signs of incompatibility because you love how he touches you. Anyone who is sexually experienced can touch a near-stranger in a way that feels very intimate and loving, you know?

I might be way off-base, and please tell me if i am! Just going off of what you've shared.

WendiStarr
12-17-2022, 09:50 PM
I told him that I am perfectly fine with being single and alone again if he really wants to do the couple swap or threesome thing. He said that he was just curious since he'd never done that before but promised to never bring it up again. We ended up cuddling for 3 hours and despite him initially seeming hesitant I got him to have period sex to help make my cramps go away. I think he liked it because we were cuddling for maybe 20 minutes before he wanted to again. I'm not right ha.

carmen_b
12-18-2022, 10:46 AM
^ Smart !
I think men can sometimes jump with too much enthusiasm when they find out about sex work.
Just be normal and carry on lol !

carmen_b
12-18-2022, 10:48 AM
Shhhhh
I have a secret ( NO QUOTES PLEASE AS I'LL DELETE IN A COUPLE DAYS ) .

I went to the dinner with Teacher and made out with him haha.
It was SO satisfying too. It was kind of like if you rode by a billboard with this amazing food picture on it for every day for 6 months and then 3.5 years later you saw the picture again and then GOT TO HAVE what was in the picture.

It can be our secret lol.

WendiStarr
12-18-2022, 02:38 PM
Got more sexy time from "Guy" and BD said he wanted to visit with the kids and sent me $. I said fine, knowing that "Guy" would be here and I feel safe with "Guy" here. BD brought food for the kids but didn't stay long. I had purposely buttoned my shirt wrong and left my hair a mess so it would be obvious "Guy" fucked me. Petty? Yes. When he(BD) was leaving and I was following behind him to lock the door, he looked at me, all sad, his lip quivering like he was about to cry. I know it was just an act to make me feel bad. I know seeing another man here would piss him off. Still cracks me up that BD is the one who inadvertently introduced me to him in the first place. We were only supposed to work together, not fuck and date.

LoveyD
12-18-2022, 04:36 PM
^^ Omg Wendi I love it! Glad your new guy is treating you well. You deserve it!

I confess that I need to start working out again, starting tomorrow. I haven't worked out in over 2 weeks and I feel blah. Time to get back in the groove.

kimbe
12-19-2022, 08:20 AM
I confess it was with mixed feeling I left town when Mr Olympia returned to Vegas after a break. Being the biggest and most important event in the Bodybuilding/Fitness industry during the entire year, I have used to attend in one or the other way.

whirlerz
12-19-2022, 10:26 AM
Well.
My former crush has left the bldg, I must admit I went through his stuff he left behind, I found some work book, 'Authentic Man', Winning @ Work &, @Home, lmao

He filled in w/interesting stuff.

carmen_b
12-19-2022, 10:26 AM
Thanks for the intro and new better dick ! Lol !!


Got more sexy time from "Guy" and BD said he wanted to visit with the kids and sent me $. I said fine, knowing that "Guy" would be here and I feel safe with "Guy" here. BD brought food for the kids but didn't stay long. I had purposely buttoned my shirt wrong and left my hair a mess so it would be obvious "Guy" fucked me. Petty? Yes. When he(BD) was leaving and I was following behind him to lock the door, he looked at me, all sad, his lip quivering like he was about to cry. I know it was just an act to make me feel bad. I know seeing another man here would piss him off. Still cracks me up that BD is the one who inadvertently introduced me to him in the first place. We were only supposed to work together, not fuck and date.

carmen_b
12-19-2022, 10:43 AM
I went out to tea with N and then back to the very nice place I'm dog sitting.
He's delicious as usual. His touch is incredible. He smelled AMAZING . Once thing I noticed the the last few dates is he didn't seem to have a smell and this time he did and whatever is was ..... mmmmmm. Something natural .

So we get back and I turn the fireplace on and he's doing his amazing touch thing on the couch. So much holding and caressing. We move to the bedroom and I decided to just take pants / shirt off to go down to undies bra to be able to feel more skin to skin. I did the verbal check in about " where we are at " around this time. I almost wussed but I was able to do the verbal check in and he says he " isn't ready for exclusive " . I didn't want to press for details . I just told him about my experience with how J was hesitant with me and it brought negative energy to the entire duration of the relationship. He phrased his situation as " recovering from being married " . I'm not sure what to think ( he's been separated over a year ).

So we hold and snuggle forever and start making out and his hands move. This time I went with it. I just couldn't hold back . It made NO logical sense in the moment. So I let him do the over the panties action that I love and then gave him the go for under . I don't know how many times I got off ..... maybe 4 ? Maybe 5 ? I was on cycle too and he could care less ( I was trying to be clean and got a towel ha ). I had him squirming and touched him some ( and had to awkwardly go find lotion ). We just kept things to " hands " type of action. I don't think he got off at night. He held me tight and we were falling asleep. He mentioned he could " go anytime I wanted him to " and I invited him to stay. He held me super tight and we fell asleep.

Some light fooling around in the morning and I got him there in the morning ha.
You should see the " tool " I'm working with here .
It is something I'll tell you ( the size sort of surprised me ).

So ...... I will need to think about what to do with N .
It might be the last time I see him OR something else may be possible ( as long as it's all fully transparent and I'M in control ) .
I am leaning towards this being the last time I see him.

SnuffleUffleGrass
12-19-2022, 10:44 AM
I confess I'm staying in this NYE. I love hermit life....lol

Dreamqueen
12-19-2022, 11:16 AM
I confess I'm staying in this NYE. I love hermit life....lol

https://images.app.goo.gl/ScE6MdioHyVTZ3fX8

Funny you should say that.
I watched this movie last night.
Every actor/actress is in it.
Have you seen it? Found it on HBO.
Such a feel good movie, but at the same time very chaotic.
It made me glad that I'm a hermit, and can watch the ball drop on t.v.,all while being cozy at home.....alone.
Aah.

carmen_b
12-19-2022, 10:32 PM
From Hot for Teacher :

C,
Thank you for giving me so much of your time Saturday. I’m sorry my house was such a disaster. It’s already looking a bit better. I'm having a nice day and I’m just now laying down in the bed we cuddled in. It felt so good to be close to you. I hope we’re together again sometime soon.

indiegirl
12-20-2022, 09:33 AM
I'm officially leaving my house today for lab practice today. I confess I did absolutely nothing except see 1 customer since school winter break. I had it all planned out that I would work every day and all I've done is chill in my room watching Netflix. It pissed my mother off that I did nothing, that is for sure.

Dreamqueen
12-20-2022, 10:35 AM
I confess it was with mixed feeling I left town when Mr Olympia returned to Vegas after a break. Being the biggest and most important event in the Bodybuilding/Fitness industry during the entire year, I have used to attend in one or the other way.

I watched some of that series, "Killer Sally" on Netflix.
Did you know her?

kimbe
12-20-2022, 10:49 AM
I watched some of that series, "Killer Sally" on Netflix.
Did you know her?

No, I only know her trough media.

carmen_b
12-20-2022, 10:49 AM
I think he knows this.
He was clinging to our good bye hug in the morning forever.

He doesn't have to choose this option.
BUT .... if he is " not ready " for a relationship I may be " not ready " to give him any more time on the calendar.



I am leaning towards this being the last time I see him.

carmen_b
12-21-2022, 12:07 PM
A man with a plan gives me a lady boner the size of the Moon !

carmen_b
12-23-2022, 09:55 AM
N wants to meet for lunch ?
Um ok ......
Do day time dates annoy anyone else ?
I guess I should at least appreciate the *gesture* of seeing him a bit today before we have to give family the 24th and 25th.

indiegirl
12-23-2022, 10:07 AM
WELLLL I had a fucking morning after work finished at 5am. I accidentally locked myself out of my own room because of my dogs. Tried to break in for an hour and spent it crying. Reached desperation and considered breaking my window but then walked to a Starbucks a mile away who lent me a phone to call my mother twice for help to get a locksmith. I had no key, phone, wallet of any sort. It felt like being homeless. Thankfully, my mother sent a locksmith and now I'm back to normal. 200 dollars later. Thank you dogs!

Word of advice, neighbors aren't "neighborly" anymore. Fuck 'em!!!! They totally avoided my polite knock for help. ALSO I never realized how much I get honked at when I'm purely walking on the sidewalk by men in traffic. Gross. I was wearing a covered sundress. I dunno what the fuck I did but men were wanting me and 1 even approached me. Prolly why I hate the public. Bahahahaha All of that for free.

carmen_b
12-23-2022, 10:30 AM
^ Aw. I'm so sorry ! I hate it when days get derailed over silly mistakes.

WendiStarr
12-23-2022, 04:07 PM
I hate how I went from no sex drive to wanting it every day. I haven't had sex since Sunday and I'm so irritated. I was hoping that I'd get some on Wednesday when bf was here babysitting for me but my youngest woke up as soon as he was about to put it in me. Ugh. It's cold and I'm horny like a man for some reason.

Aurora_Sunset
12-24-2022, 04:30 PM
I hope both the kids are too old for "Santa" next year.

Honestly, the whole Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth fairy thing is kinda fun the first time, but then it just gets tiresome.

indiegirl
12-25-2022, 08:15 PM
Christmas is fucking over for me! I took the decorations down at my place in a matter of minutes LOLLL. Obviously I don't decorate much at all. Hurray!!!

carmen_b
12-25-2022, 08:21 PM
^ I'm so glad it's over.
I'm trying to kill 70 minutes and go to bed at 9:30 so I can wake up to it DONE and the world back to business.

Aurora_Sunset
12-26-2022, 06:45 AM
Today is supposed to be family Christmas at my aunt's, but I called my mom this morning and told her my husband woke up sick with a fever and body aches. It's a total lie - we both just don't want to go.

Honestly, when I agreed to going, I hadn't looked up the directions - I just assumed it was about a 2 - 2 1/2 hour drive. It's closer to 4 hours one way. And I have to work tomorrow. They're not even starting appetizers until 1pm. We'd spend almost 8 hours in the car just to be there for maybe 4-5 hours. I just saw my immediate family a week ago, and there's no one in my extended family that I miss THAT much to make that sort of drive in one day. Maybe if we could stay the night and/or had tomorrow off... But nah. Just gonna chill today.