View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
indiegirl
12-26-2022, 07:27 AM
Well I am still currently in bed with a customer. We decided to get full blown drunk on Christmas, head to a strip club and spend a couple hundred watching girls on stage and head back to my hotel room. Bahaha fun night!
LoveyD
12-26-2022, 08:49 AM
^^^ that's so funny you're posting on here when you're still in bed with a customer! I'm glad you had a fun Christmas!
I'm still in my hotel room as well. It was so nice to sleep on my stomach again last night. It's also so nice just to wake up and have a bathroom. Soon I'm taking another nice long soft bath and shower, then I have to check out. Then it's back to car life.
carmen_b
12-26-2022, 08:58 AM
^ I'd really look into Rover !
I'm about 15 days in to my stay in the city ( while making a little $ with the doggies ).
I have 8 more days of reservations stacked up ( it could just be the timing of the holiday ).
If you did the set up though you could likely get a nibble for the new years time frame holiday when people are traveling.
I think another peak travel time is Jan 13-16 ish.
Holiday people have work off for.
LoveyD
12-26-2022, 09:17 AM
^^ thank you for reminding me! I've been so busy with everything that I haven't had time to look into it.
indiegirl
12-26-2022, 10:36 AM
^^ thank you for reminding me! I've been so busy with everything that I haven't had time to look into it.
So true about rover. Some people don't want to deal with their dogs leaving the house and want them comfy at home. Easy house stay for you :)
trustfundkiller
12-26-2022, 04:04 PM
I'm really glad I live in South Florida, because I think the seasonal depression would be real for me if I didn't. It's been abnormally cold, raining and gloomy here all day and I'm hating it.
Dreamqueen
12-27-2022, 10:11 AM
I'm really glad I live in South Florida, because I think the seasonal depression would be real for me if I didn't. It's been abnormally cold, raining and gloomy here all day and I'm hating it.
Amen to this.
I get really depressed on the 4 or 5 days per year that it's cloudy or rainy.
Could never live in a place that rains a lot.
At one point I was thinking of working for one of the cam sites that I'm on.
But their home office is in Seattle.
No way could I ever live there.
I grew up in snow, rain, etc.
Nope.
Not good for my psyche.
I've been living in sunshine for 40 years.
Love it.
charlie61
12-27-2022, 11:28 AM
I'm really glad I live in South Florida, because I think the seasonal depression would be real for me if I didn't. It's been abnormally cold, raining and gloomy here all day and I'm hating it.
We're all so different! Constant sunshine depresses me, lol. I lived in Arizona for two years. Didn't mind the heat (it always cools off at night, and dry heat really isn't a big deal). But i couldn't handle all of the sun, no change in seasons, etc.
carmen_b
12-27-2022, 11:46 AM
Dream : I'm struggling with SAD thing too. I upped my wellbutrin to " travel light " and not drag my fake sun lamp around but I'm feeling like the increase of the drug is too much for my body. I want to ease back to lower dose and try to treat more holistically ( with the lamp , keeping workouts up , tanning a little here and there ).
miss.a.p1600
12-27-2022, 09:48 PM
My temp position is seemingly over in a few days and I don’t have any w-2 jobs lined up
i planned to work a side hustle on eve an weekends while employed but I got stuck in a mandatory overtime schedule with my employer to the point I was too mentally drained to get my second income steam up n rolling
I’m a bit worried that I could botch my entire Greener Pastures Operation if I don’t hustle my ass and figure out how to continue to succeed financially after this.
I’m two days thc free and trying to fight the urge to smoke several blunts to ease my anxiety about it all
My freedom n exit plan is on the line here.
LoveyD
12-27-2022, 10:51 PM
It's raining in Southern California and it's so nice. Calming. Today was so weird and bizarre, I'm so glad I'm staying in a place that is guarded and protected.
LoveyD
12-28-2022, 12:41 PM
^^ I didn't hear that. I'm not an LA resident though.
kimbe
12-29-2022, 01:04 AM
I feel it in my thighs after skiing today..
buttonpop
12-29-2022, 12:16 PM
^^^as far as I know, only 3,200 LA residents get to participate in that universal income program and they've been selected already. They were selected "randomly" from people under the poverty line with 1 dependent living with them. It's less of a welfare program, and more of a long-term scientific study trying to prove that universal income works and doesn't discourage people from working.
maybe in 10 years they'll expand it but probably not anytime soon :(
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 04:30 PM
N came over to apologize in person Tues. and " talk " .
I had ignored his request for lunch ( to send a message to stop asking for time during business hours ).
He brought hand made chocolates for me. That was cute.
Did I have the self control to not fool around ?
Damn. I love his touch. Now I'm caught in this great debate.
I know I need to cut him off ( for not stepping up and into a bf / gf label ) .
Gotta do it. Lol
I didn't mention it due to how little self control I have.
I may delete this.
The experience was awesome so maybe I should keep doing it ?
The jury is out .....
charlie61
12-29-2022, 05:10 PM
Carmen, what on earth lol. The issue is not that this guy wouldn't step up into the bf/gf role. This guy has been on your nerves from the beginning. Clearly not a good fit from what you've shared. You guys met like five minutes ago and have already had an epic fight. That's not someone you want to date. Did i miss something??
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 05:50 PM
^ I don't know if it was an *epic* fight.
He did feel bad about rubbing the hotel thing in my face .
I don't think he thought through that is was a bad detail to share.
I really believe he didn't do it to be hurtful . He apologized on text, phone, and in person about it after looking at it from my perspective.
Why does THIS person have to have such a sensual touch style ?
I'm lining up other dates ugh. Someone else MUST have a similar style.
It might take a few tries. Ha.
I'm going to try to ignore him for REAL this time.
THANKS for not quoting that as I might delete it.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 06:10 PM
^ I do feel like things get lost on the site when bitching about dudes and I do forget to put the positives up.
He's also been a good friend to me, he checks in frequently with both texts / calls , and is supportive of what I'm up to.
For example, I interviewed for this job last week and it was a detail he remembered and asked me about when he was here last time. I told him I got it and his congrats was SO enthusiastic and the hug SO deep. He really listens, asks questions, and has tried to make a real solid effort to get to know me. That is part of what has impressed me. No one other than him has made this conversational type progress if that makes sense.
I'm pretty harsh and picky about my " cuts " though. Not being a bf ( clearly wanting to ) within 30 days is not impressive to me . So I have no problems looking at other options.
I'm sure with a little effort I can find the conversation AND touch magic AND no kids.
I also want the remote job ( which he has ugh ) but it's not *as* important as the others.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 06:23 PM
^ There has been so much of this " deep campfire conversation " if that makes sense ......
Maybe it was just something I was needing and missing from other avenues.
He knows DEEP details about former relationships, why they ended, the disappointments ect. !
He knows a lot about what I'm working on currently, short and long term goals ect.
^ I hope it helps explain the draw somewhat. I guess he reeled me in with the juicy conversation as much as anything.
I did tell him last time that my " other partner " might not want to do any poly type arrangements so we may see a shift happening soon . I just wanted to kind of indicate that his clock was running out.
I'm feeling *burnt out* ha.
I kind of want a week off or more from dating efforts.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 06:52 PM
https://i.ibb.co/KWFF9Q3/B4-C420-E3-499-C-47-D9-9832-D427468-F64-C9.jpg (https://ibb.co/HqnnrMk)
After the " it's nice to be in a hotel " part he goes on to say he didn't really enjoy the outing and why.
DUH ! Because it was a stupid idea.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 06:55 PM
Being alone on Christmas Day was also MY fault.
I evaluated it wrong. I typically am NOT attached to any " exact day " stuff with holidays .
Christmas was over with my family on the 24th - we did everything that day.
So I really misjudged it ( my own mistake ).
I could have EASILY gone over to my parents or gone somewhere. it was my mistake too.
I tried to get out and go to a movie and saw this AWFUL MOVIE ( the Whale ) . Don't see it .
That decision pissed me off even further when the movie sucked.
Staci
12-29-2022, 07:28 PM
Not being a bf ( clearly wanting to ) within 30 days is not impressive to me .
Was this the one who had said at the beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship or am I confusing him with someone else?
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 07:37 PM
^ He didn't phrase it that way but he said he is dating non-exclusively .
I thought it was a weird thing to say on date #1 but maybe I should taken it at the red flag it was ha.
I'm definitely in a weird place.
I'm super touch starved. BUT I'm still not letting men get away with lazy bullshit.
I guess I'll just book a bunch of massages or something.
It might be time to just go celibate ( with set intention ) to focus on $$$ and other goals.
I can see why many women on this site go that route.
I'm SO close to a particular goal ( a pay off of my home in the burbs ).
37k-40k ish left to go but who is counting lol.
It would have been DONE already if covid didn't ruin my business for two years.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 07:52 PM
I'm having a hard time getting myself together today.
I did all this work of shaving it all and then didn't feel this date idea lol.
Now I'm not feeling the go out solo idea, ugh ! WTF ha.
Thanks for listening.
charlie61
12-29-2022, 08:12 PM
I think you'd be totally fine IF you're good at keeping it casual! I think you tend to get involved emotionally when you're involved sexually. We care about you! ♡
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 08:18 PM
^ I definitely DO get attached. That is why I had that up front convo with him.
Plus I feel like even though he's a GREAT lover..... it's still too beneficial to him to do for free for too long. In a pinch ..... ok ...... but he shouldn't get this perk ongoing. I WISH men HAD to ask for a relationship formally ( like if it could just BE this way across and board ) before getting any sexual access .
Plus part of me catches this debate going with myself.
J " claimed " his feeling were not strong initially but he flipped at 6 weeks when he thought he was losing me ( I told J I was done at 6 weeks for not having the bf / gf title ). Sometimes I just feel like men don't set that " intention " but they DO catch feelings even when they are like " oh we can't be serious for whatever reason xyz xyz xyz " . I just don't want to take a RISK again with that type of relationship resistant energy.
I just want someone NOT afraid to set that relationship building intention.
Intention work is so powerful. I am not sure I can build without it.
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 08:28 PM
I think the dating apps can be really dangerous for men.
I swear they meet a GREAT connection and their addition to the app itself leaves the person standing in front of them frustrated and they are just convinced to try something else even though the option IN FRONT of them is great.
neverendingkneebruises
12-29-2022, 08:33 PM
Delete
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 08:41 PM
^ Aw. I'm curious if you've booked some therapy ?
I just find it SO helpful .
Break ups can be SO hard.
I have heard a scientist say that the " paths " your brain goes down ( things like checking in with your partner , getting held , getting that conversation ect. ) is like a carved rut in a road. So when it ends you are making a NEW way through the road there is a level of exhaustion that comes in EVERY DAY by not having your usual " access paths " .
I found that comforting when I read it.
You can shoot me a PM too if you are having a " omg I can't make it " day .
This shit is a DAY at a time. Really.
neverendingkneebruises
12-29-2022, 08:52 PM
Delete
carmen_b
12-29-2022, 08:53 PM
^ and a link for you ( I'm actually going to watch it again for myself ) .
I found this TED talk so helpful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=651&v=k0GQSJrpVhM&feature=emb_title
Ok .....I'm sort of jealous you were smart enough to sugar date lol.
I went ALL in with vanilla dating just figuring I'd give it TIME in December since it's was good life timing ( basically having the time for it ) . I'm already " eh " on the results .
charlie61
12-29-2022, 08:56 PM
These holidays are majorly slowing down the progress of interviews and hearing back about them. Still hoping i land one of these promotions! Just updating since i was talking about it a few weeks ago on here. PTO schedules are slowing the process down to a crawl!
charlie61
12-29-2022, 10:43 PM
I never, ever wear my hair down. I can't stand the feeling of it, and i don't like how it looks on me.
I think the only time I've ever worn my hair down in my adult life was when i was dancing.
kimbe
12-30-2022, 12:58 AM
LoL, I feel like I overdressed slightly when we went out for dinner tonight..
miss.a.p1600
12-30-2022, 07:30 AM
I never, ever wear my hair down. I can't stand the feeling of it, and i don't like how it looks on me.
I think the only time I've ever worn my hair down in my adult life was when i was dancing.
that’s interesting because I went through a phase where I never wore my hair up I always, I mean 95 percent of the time wore it down.
I have a big head and was trying to disguise it by keeping my hair down
indiegirl
12-30-2022, 06:32 PM
Apparently I'm 7 years old, I just ate a lunchables for dinner bahaha. Thank you instacart for allowing me to stay home. I hate going grocery shopping and dealing with long lines and hauling my food back home.
LoveyD
12-30-2022, 07:35 PM
I never, ever wear my hair down. I can't stand the feeling of it, and i don't like how it looks on me.
I think the only time I've ever worn my hair down in my adult life was when i was dancing.
Same here. My hair is usually up in a bun because I'm delivering groceries or working out and since I'm without a home at the moment I don't have the luxury of sitting down and doing my hair at a vanity. Plus I'm getting a trim in early January to trim off some over processed hair and prep my hair to grow out long again. The only time I actually do my hair is when I go on acting gigs. And I'm trying to preserve my hair and not put any heat on it or anything. That's the only way I can get it to grow out healthy and strong.
charlie61
12-30-2022, 08:16 PM
Exactly!! I'm really not trying to get attention for my long hair at my corporate job... not going to spend time styling on weekday mornings. And I'm trying to protect my ends. I don't use any heat on my hair - i would for a special occasion, i guess. But i prefer no-heat updos and simple, low braids, anyway...
carmen_b
12-30-2022, 08:33 PM
Well I've had it with vanilla dating.
It was a mistake.
Next stop , sugartown USA. lol
Sometimes scientific experiments go wrong and need a correction.
buttonpop
12-30-2022, 10:01 PM
My fiancee and I are making our wedding invites and I wasn't happy with our engagement pictures being used on the invites (she surprised me with a photographer when she proposed; I love the photos because they captured the moment and they did turn out pretty beautiful, but I did NOT know I was going to have a major photoshoot that day and was not prepared makeup or outfit-wise!) so we scheduled a last-minute photoshoot to take more pictures. I bought a Skims dupe bodycon dress off amazon since it was the fastest floor-length dress I could get shipped to me.
I expected this dress to be super thin fabric that reveals everything (in a bad way) and makes me feel bad about myself... but I'm delightfully surprised. my waist looks snatched AF and my ass looks damn good. I'm impressed.
miss.a.p1600
12-31-2022, 08:23 AM
Congrats on your upcoming wedding
miss.a.p1600
12-31-2022, 08:31 AM
I’d say Carmen if I were you I’d open my roster back up.
N could be dangerous in the sense he seems to fulfill a need for you but your other needs (commitment, security, etc) are missing with him.
kimbe
12-31-2022, 09:34 AM
I confess I insisted on driving to the party tonight. Yep, I'm going to be that boring one, who doesn't drink. I won't dress boring though ;)
I know these people and there won't be just alcohol, so to speak..
carmen_b
12-31-2022, 09:55 AM
Yes, I'm just going to tell him that while I LOVE our chemistry and his conversation ( beause both are incredible I'm not going to lie ) , him not offering me the girlfriend title is just unacceptable and I'm done.
He knows it's coming. When he did his stupid hotel extravaganza ( and then even more stupidly told me about it ) with his ex and child as a family outing ( with separate rooms ) I sent him a note saying I was upset. He was rubbing the hotel outing in my face AND I was upset about him not requesting time with me. I told him I had reached a frustration point.
I'm literally going to tell him I wanted to suck and ride his beautiful dick ( it's so gorgeous ) a few times a week but I'm not sharing it. The end.
I've found that when I tell someone WHY I'm disappointed its ends up being so easy to let go after .
He knows me INCREDIBLY well. He knows so much about what I'm working on in the next 6-12 months and has a solid sense of my goals. He has the info and knows I'm solid as a partner and hustler but CHOOSES to not step up.
I’d say Carmen if I were you I’d open my roster back up.
N could be dangerous in the sense he seems to fulfill a need for you but your other needs (commitment, security, etc) are missing with him.
carmen_b
12-31-2022, 09:57 AM
My time can be entirely mine ! I can hustle hard by day then fill the next 7 evenings with movies, dinners out solo , volunteer work , family stuff, yoga , meet up group outings, and the spa.
^ I could pick ONE of those for EACH evening and fill out my calendar in a incredibly positive way.
I’d say Carmen if I were you I’d open my roster back up.
N could be dangerous in the sense he seems to fulfill a need for you but your other needs (commitment, security, etc) are missing with him.
WendiStarr
01-01-2023, 04:29 PM
I've spent every day since Christmas Eve with my boyfriend. He had an entire week off of work and we've been together every day, except for when he went home once to spend time with his son and went home yesterday to get a change of clothes. I feel this emptiness and sadness now. It's pathetic, really. I think the fluid bonding thing is real.
carmen_b
01-01-2023, 09:12 PM
^ Sex bonding chemicals are real and very strong.
Aurora_Sunset
01-02-2023, 09:00 AM
I'm worried about school in a couple weeks. I'm worried I just won't have the energy or motivation to keep up.
It's not like it's a program that I was dying to do or for a job that I'm super interested in getting. It's just the only thing that's worked out in 2 years of me trying to find something else to do, and work will pay for it, so I figured I may as well.
To do the program in the time required while still working enough to pay all my bills is going to be an extremely rough schedule. I know I'm capable of it, because I've done harder schedules in the past, but to do it for something that I'm not particularly passionate about is filling me with dread.
The thing is, I can't even just "skate by" in these classes. It was made clear to me that in order to actually get into the full program in the Fall, I NEED to get A's in these accelerated pre-req courses this spring.
I'm worried I'll either be super miserable and/or eventually give up/fail out, and it will be a huge waste of time, everyone will be disappointed in me, and I'll just be right back where I started with no plan.
miss.a.p1600
01-02-2023, 10:37 AM
^you can do it :) because you know you’ve done it before.
Just keep your stress level to a minimum, eat healthy, see if your husband and step kids can help take some of the load off by doing more of the homemaking (even if you have to dole out some chore money - from your husbands wallet ;) ; ask for help if you realize you need it, and
Aurora_Sunset
01-02-2023, 06:16 PM
I am virtually incapable of opening a tab can like a normal person, with my index finger. I have to hold it backwards and open the tab with my thumb and then spin the can around.
I don't think anyone has ever noticed me doing it, but I always feel like a weirdo.