View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
Kellydancer
08-17-2011, 08:55 PM
I am going the sugar daddy route. I figure since all I seem to attract old lecherous men I might as well date old lecherous RICH men. I'm going to try the sugar daddy sites others have recommend.
4everresolutions
08-17-2011, 09:04 PM
I just measured myself, weighed myself, and had my personal trainer do a body fat analysis on me. The numbers weren't what I want. I'm so tempted to revert to my eating disorder right now....
But I won't. I don't want my daughter to deal with that
But damn it's hard....
After you had the analysis done, did your body look different than before? I'm willing to bet - no. Don't go back to an ED in desperation. I know it's not always something you can control (it's a real mental illness), but try and remember that crash dieting will only make you feel AND look worse. *hugs*
Kellydancer
08-17-2011, 09:27 PM
I assume you mean fat along with weight and it reminds me of when I started lifting weights. I started gaining weight and crying until the trainer told me I was gaining muscle and muscle weighs more. Weight number doesn't mean much.
velvet
08-17-2011, 10:53 PM
^Didn't realize such things exist.
Hate that meeting women requires I go research my area and make repeat outtings. Why can't lesbians just stay home and play WoW... then beg to come over and LAN with me when they see my epic dps?
Most medium and large cities have bars that just cater to lesbians. They are not hard to find online usually.
sananeko
08-18-2011, 06:12 AM
^Didn't realize such things exist.
Hate that meeting women requires I go research my area and make repeat outtings. Why can't lesbians just stay home and play WoW... then beg to come over and LAN with me when they see my epic dps?
Being here is a bore but lesbians do end up at the gay clubs around here and its easy to tell the straights ones from the not.. I go mostly for the dancing cause it may be easy to find a lesbian but its not easy to fine a open minded one that doesn't think bisexual means a cheater..
obscurity
08-18-2011, 09:00 AM
OH SO STRAIGHT!
Or they're the "I'll fuck around with anyone who will let me touch them" type of girl... which is just *vomit*.
Which sort of just adds to my frustration... the only lesbians I can find are whores I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
you should come to Atlanta.....beautiful lesbians everywhere....men don't hit on me....well...older men do lol. but women are aggressive here....i get a lot of "compliments" from them. I haven't had the pleasure of viewing your pics.....I'm sure they'd love you here.....
I am very er, um ...unique looking....so i get a lot of randomness...but the chicks are always so pleasant ::)
Natalllia
08-18-2011, 09:36 AM
I just measured myself, weighed myself, and had my personal trainer do a body fat analysis on me. The numbers weren't what I want. I'm so tempted to revert to my eating disorder right now....
But I won't. I don't want my daughter to deal with that
But damn it's hard....
Stay strong!
Give yourself the credit you deserve for overcoming your ED once before - if you were able to acheive a healthy lifestyle after dealing with those issues, then you're already a superstar.
I don't have experience with ED, but I do have a history of compulsive behavior and addiction. I know how those evil little voices can creep in and tell you to make bad, unhealthy decisions. Recognizing them for what they are is an important first step, so you're already one step ahead of the game.
I know that you can overcome this - both for yourself and your daughter. It can be so hard to admit you're having problems with the disease again - kudos to you for reaching out and getting the support you need.
I've always really enjoyed your posts here on SW - I'm pulling for you!
:hug:
_Avery_
08-18-2011, 11:56 AM
Sorry, just don't know where else to go. <3
I <3 you girls. xoxo
Kellydancer
08-18-2011, 01:19 PM
Wow Avery you have my sympathy. You've been nothing short of a sweetheart on here and you deserve much better than you are getting.
Are you still dancing? That might make a difference in custody. It shouldn't but we all know how the system is set up. If not you need to find a legit job (I know, not easy now)or you should apply for welfare. Yes, I know I'm always talking about how much I hate the system but it's set up to help people like you get on your feet.
You also need to start making lists of everything he's said and done wrong. Yes he will probably bring up your past but in return you need to bring up everything you've mentioned here, such as his refusal to help out. He will bring out everything.
Do you have a place to stay? Maybe another dancer? If not, check into a shelter. Not an ideal situation but better than staying with him.
I wish I had more advice except to wish you well and to pray that things get better.
DesuvsDeath
08-18-2011, 02:44 PM
You should head down to the courthouse when you have time for info. Most places they have a lot of free informational seminar type things that they do a few days out of the month that will tell you how the whole divorce process works and how to fill out paperwork, ect.
If you move out, srsly, take your kids. You've mentioned repeatedly how lazy he can be about shit like getting them drinks and changing diapers. Your kids deserve a parent who will focus on them full time... not one who just wants to hurt their ex as much possible by getting full custody with no regard for what's best for the kids.
Jessie_tinydancer
08-18-2011, 03:06 PM
^ I agree... he's a lazy bastard. Does he honestly think he can take care of your kids on his own? He's totally bluffing and trying to scare you into staying. I know its hard, but don't overreact. Your boys need you to keep a calm and rational head. This is gonna be a really hard time. Try to think about the other times when you felt like this... you got through them right? Aren't you glad you made it through and became a stronger person and experienced good things on the other side? Try to focus on that. Every time we are challenged we need to focus on the fact that it will get better. It might getter harder first but their is hope and you are a strong and beautiful person. I only know you through a computer but I know you will succeed in life. You have way more to offer than you realise. Is there a free counselling service that you can access anywhere in your area? Then you can vent your frustrations on someone else without throwing fuel on the fire between you and your ex.
*Jade*Love
08-18-2011, 03:10 PM
OH SO STRAIGHT!
Or they're the "I'll fuck around with anyone who will let me touch them" type of girl... which is just *vomit*.
Which sort of just adds to my frustration... the only lesbians I can find are whores I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
Agreed, 100%
Avery, I am soooo so sorry that you are going through this right now. You have such a kind soul, I can't believe someone would treat you like this..you definitely shouldn't have to put up with it. Especially with a young child and a newborn baby.
I agree with Kelly, you should start writing things down and logging his abuse. It would help to have something for reference in court if he decides to try and bring up a lot of things about you.
I think if you could eventually move back to Phoenix and get back on your feet it would be a better life for you. I have a lot of friends who go to Phoenix on the wknds to dance and I think you would be able to make more money in Arizona than Wisconsin, esp since Phoenix is more tattoo friendly. So is SD, we get a lot of military customers here and they love it. Something to consider.
I wish there was something I could do to help you out :( If we lived closer I'd let you come stay with me, I've been alone in my 2bd apartment for a while because my bf and roommate are gone. Keep us updated on what's going on, I hope you can find a way to get out of the situation and one that keeps both you and your children safe.
sananeko
08-18-2011, 06:59 PM
I'm alittle sad today cause I found a old letter from a friend of mine.. it was when his fiancée broke it off with him and ran off with another guy.. He even fell ill to it.. and then ran off to the army to get away from it.. He was one of my rare best friends.. He acted like a big brother to me and way always there.. I know its been four years but I still wait for him to call or send me a letter to this very day.. Just to tell me hes ok..
He may have not been blood.. but I miss my big brother...
kitinboots
08-20-2011, 03:23 AM
I wish I didn't let my friends stay with me.
They take up all my space, make a huge mess and not tidy up, make loads of noise, and I've just caught one of them using my chef's knife as a tin opener!!!!
Argh!
And I keep dropping hints asking when they're moving on to the next place (they're travelling Europe) because I myself have to fly to Norway on Tuesday and would like at least a day to sort everything out and clean up after them, but they're being so useless.
Aslinn
08-20-2011, 04:08 AM
Im pretty sure Im pregnant, debating not mentioning it to my bf till its quit obvious, maybe he won't notice and I will just show up with a little black baby and he wont ask questions lol But seriously Im a bit worried on how I should broach the subject usually I would right it off as my own hypochondriac fears but there is just one to many signs this time to write it off as my period just being a butt head.... Its not the baby that would really bother me I love children and I know I can handle the responsibility but I feel so bad because when he ask me to marry him Im going to flat out say no. For some reason having a baby is way less freaky than getting married...
kitinboots
08-20-2011, 04:46 AM
Im pretty sure Im pregnant, debating not mentioning it to my bf till its quit obvious, maybe he won't notice and I will just show up with a little black baby and he wont ask questions lol But seriously Im a bit worried on how I should broach the subject usually I would right it off as my own hypochondriac fears but there is just one to many signs this time to write it off as my period just being a butt head.... Its not the baby that would really bother me I love children and I know I can handle the responsibility but I feel so bad because when he ask me to marry him Im going to flat out say no. For some reason having a baby is way less freaky than getting married...
Take a test...then you know whether you even have a decision to make or not...
Aslinn
08-20-2011, 07:19 AM
I have tested but its honestly pointless to do, with my previous pregnancy I didn't get a positive till I was at the end of my sixth week and with that pregnancy I had nausea so bad I called in three times all within the first and second week of pregnancy :( so alas I play the waiting game.
Jessie_tinydancer
08-20-2011, 04:33 PM
Feeling homesick and struggling to come back to reality.
4everresolutions
08-21-2011, 01:03 AM
Feeling homesick and struggling to come back to reality.
*hugs from homeland*
It will ebb and settle with time (the homesickness). Just think about all the great things in the land of Oz! :)
sammii
08-21-2011, 04:12 AM
I've completely spent all the money in savings to the penny, so I'm considering getting a credit card to fund my shopping addiction. It's such a bad idea but I'm craving a shopping trip. I haven't bought anything in like 4 or 5 days, which is the best I've ever done, but it's just because I'm broke.
Natalllia
08-21-2011, 07:22 AM
^^^ Don't do it!!!
Just get some dude to buy stuff for you, if you really must have some shiny new things. Don't spend $$$ you don't have on things you don't really NEED.
noelle
08-21-2011, 01:58 PM
I met a hot guy last night and took him home, but ended up getting so drunk and stoned I got the spins, vomited for like half an hour, and then passed out. Probably not what he was expecting would happen!
Jessie_tinydancer
08-21-2011, 03:15 PM
I've completely spent all the money in savings to the penny, so I'm considering getting a credit card to fund my shopping addiction. It's such a bad idea but I'm craving a shopping trip. I haven't bought anything in like 4 or 5 days, which is the best I've ever done, but it's just because I'm broke.
Nooooo... you would seriously vomit if you knew what my credit card limit was... I got it 6 years ago to pay for a flight home... lets just say its more than 10x its initial limit now and Ive never even used it for shopping! Granted the limit hasn't gone up since Ive danced but seriously I beg you don't be stupid like me. :-[
sammii
08-22-2011, 12:25 AM
Nooooo... you would seriously vomit if you knew what my credit card limit was... I got it 6 years ago to pay for a flight home... lets just say its more than 10x its initial limit now and Ive never even used it for shopping! Granted the limit hasn't gone up since Ive danced but seriously I beg you don't be stupid like me. :-[
Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry that happened to you. :( It sounds like you got the CC for a good reason, so I don't think you're stupid. I'm wanting one for a stupid reason. I just have 0 common sense and a shopping addiction.
Anyways, I'm just going to hold off on it for as long as I can because I know I'd buy things I don't need. After moving away from my SO, shopping has been the only thing thats made me happy, but I'm going to try to find something else to occupy my time. Thanks again. After reading your post, I realised how stupid it is to get a credit card for things I don't need.
Jessie_tinydancer
08-22-2011, 12:31 AM
^ ya I used it when I had no savings as an emergency fund for years. Shiiiiit! Ive been slowly paying it off but it's gonna take 2 more years! Yuck! Thank god for visa-debt cards...screw using money you don't have.
What about eBay shopping? My roomate seemed to feed her addiction that way for hardly any $$$
sammii
08-22-2011, 12:49 AM
I miss my emergancy fund ... I regret spending it. Maybe you'll make good $$ next year, and you'll be able to pay it off sooner. Fingers crossed that you get a bunch of great money spending regulars. :)
I never thought of Ebay ... that's a good idea. I'm going to sell stuff too for extra shopping $$. I'm gonna go on there now, lol.
anouk.oui
08-22-2011, 04:27 AM
i confess this was my bed
http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/889/tumblrlqbj18i06d1qe8w6l.jpg
im digging season4 of ze true blood. alcide = yum!
Kellydancer
08-22-2011, 11:40 AM
Anyway my confession is I am going to have a fling with this 27 year old. I met him a few years ago and he's been bugging me to get together and have sex. I told him no regular sex, just oral and he's fine with this. He's also bi and has been banging a transvestite and is going to allow me to watch them have sex (the other guy looks like a woman but still has a dick). I am intrigued on this whole idea and we are making plans now. Just because I made a vow to be abstinent doesn't mean I can't do other sexual things.
PleasureVictim
08-22-2011, 02:51 PM
I'm in a new city where I don't know anyone except my ex that I'm staying with temporarily. I wish I had a hobby to keep me occupied, but everything I want to do costs money that I don't have to spare at the moment.
I feel emotionally drained having to pretend to be okay with the fact that he is a smothering, possessive, insecure man. One day accusing me of wanting to be with someone else (truth) the next day it's all hugs and kisses.
Many times he makes my skin crawl. I can't be honest and tell him I wish he'd never touch me again because I don't want to deal with the consequences. He'll become even more sniveling and clingy.
I think I will mark the weeks off on a calendar until I can move out and be alone without having to walk on eggshells to make other people happy.
sananeko
08-22-2011, 06:00 PM
Wow. I guess I shouldn't be surprised but it always does. What is the purpose of people doing this?
Anyway my confession is I am going to have a fling with this 27 year old. I met him a few years ago and he's been bugging me to get together and have sex. I told him no regular sex, just oral and he's fine with this. He's also bi and has been banging a transvestite and is going to allow me to watch them have sex (the other guy looks like a woman but still has a dick). I am intrigued on this whole idea and we are making plans now. Just because I made a vow to be abstinent doesn't mean I can't do other sexual things.
I want to watch....
Jessie_tinydancer
08-23-2011, 03:08 AM
I miss my emergancy fund ... I regret spending it. Maybe you'll make good $$ next year, and you'll be able to pay it off sooner. Fingers crossed that you get a bunch of great money spending regulars. :)
I never thought of Ebay ... that's a good idea. I'm going to sell stuff too for extra shopping $$. I'm gonna go on there now, lol.
hahah thanks :) I do make awesome money so can't complain on that one but the $9-$10K extra a year on tuition is not my friend. Good news is I haven't got any new student debt at least.
Spinnerette
08-23-2011, 07:45 PM
I confess that I am currently experiencing jealousy. This is a rare emotion for me because I've always told myself when I see someone doing extremely well, "Huh, well they don't have anything I can't get for myself!". It's a motivator, a challenge, and one often conquered. But this perceived "gap" between where my "competition" is and where I am is so wide that doubt is creeping in.
I don't know how to deal. *pouty face*
PleasureVictim
08-23-2011, 09:40 PM
I confess that I am currently experiencing jealousy. This is a rare emotion for me because I've always told myself when I see someone doing extremely well, "Huh, well they don't have anything I can't get for myself!". It's a motivator, a challenge, and one often conquered. But this perceived "gap" between where my "competition" is and where I am is so wide that doubt is creeping in.
I don't know how to deal. *pouty face*
Yes! I've felt that way not to long ago, and it was tough. I just had to accept it because our differences were something I couldn't do anything about.:(
Spinnerette
08-24-2011, 08:17 AM
Yes! I've felt that way not to long ago, and it was tough. I just had to accept it because our differences were something I couldn't do anything about.:(
Yeah, it's odd because I don't even want to be at that level and if I were to reach it, I'd keep it to myself. But seeing that it's possible makes me want to go for it because in my head, anything less will be slacking (read: failure) in comparison. Bar has been raised, I must touch it...
Stupid metaphorical carrot.
siliconedoll
08-24-2011, 11:18 AM
Not really a confession but a year ago I wrote on this thread about how I felt it was time to come out the closet and how I was excited to be going on my first proper date with a girl. Turns out to be the best thing I ever did, it's our one year anniversary tomorrow and we've been living together for 6 months. She is my whole world, I love her so deeply. Every morning waking up with her is the most perfect feeling. Being with her has made me a better person partly because she is an amazing person and partly because I am so relieved that I am finally being true to myself. Yay for happy endings!!
amorescudero
08-24-2011, 11:55 AM
I confess that I can't wait til my BF's dog dies. I used to love the animal....but he's old now and is worse then a child. He sheds a ton....im sick of vacuuming every fucking day. As soon as I am done vacuuming he clime on the couch getting hair on it. Im sick of him farting. He farts more then any human could possibly. And its LOUD and smelly. He also drools everywhere leaving white marks on stuff. Ugh im just ready to be petless
charlie61
08-24-2011, 05:47 PM
Not really a confession but a year ago I wrote on this thread about how I felt it was time to come out the closet and how I was excited to be going on my first proper date with a girl. Turns out to be the best thing I ever did, it's our one year anniversary tomorrow and we've been living together for 6 months. She is my whole world, I love her so deeply. Every morning waking up with her is the most perfect feeling. Being with her has made me a better person partly because she is an amazing person and partly because I am so relieved that I am finally being true to myself. Yay for happy endings!!
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. :hug:
Mindy Bares All
08-24-2011, 07:41 PM
I applied to become a SuicideGirl. Before anyone says anything, I KNOW. My set will be up for member review on/around Oct 14th. My name is Eisley.
And.
I kind of sort of made plans to lose my virginity to my best guy friend when he comes to visit me. And sent him the naked pictures from my unreleased set.
strippername
08-24-2011, 07:43 PM
^ :o Mindy is a virgin! Sell that shit, Mindy!!!! :) jk.
I have a warrant for violation of probation. Fuck!
sananeko
08-24-2011, 07:44 PM
I applied to become a SuicideGirl. Before anyone says anything, I KNOW. My set will be up for member review on/around Oct 14th. My name is Eisley.
And.
I kind of sort of made plans to lose my virginity to my best guy friend when he comes to visit me. And sent him the naked pictures from my unreleased set.
Good luck.
PleasureVictim
08-24-2011, 08:22 PM
Not really a confession but a year ago I wrote on this thread about how I felt it was time to come out the closet and how I was excited to be going on my first proper date with a girl. Turns out to be the best thing I ever did, it's our one year anniversary tomorrow and we've been living together for 6 months. She is my whole world, I love her so deeply. Every morning waking up with her is the most perfect feeling. Being with her has made me a better person partly because she is an amazing person and partly because I am so relieved that I am finally being true to myself. Yay for happy endings!!
So awesome! I want to find a lady love. Good luck to you both.
Natalllia
08-25-2011, 09:51 AM
Not really a confession but a year ago I wrote on this thread about how I felt it was time to come out the closet and how I was excited to be going on my first proper date with a girl. Turns out to be the best thing I ever did, it's our one year anniversary tomorrow and we've been living together for 6 months. She is my whole world, I love her so deeply. Every morning waking up with her is the most perfect feeling. Being with her has made me a better person partly because she is an amazing person and partly because I am so relieved that I am finally being true to myself. Yay for happy endings!!
Your post made me so happy. I love hearing stories with happy endings. Many more years of domestic bliss for you both!!;D
roast
08-25-2011, 10:54 AM
Not really a confession but a year ago I wrote on this thread about how I felt it was time to come out the closet and how I was excited to be going on my first proper date with a girl. Turns out to be the best thing I ever did, it's our one year anniversary tomorrow and we've been living together for 6 months. She is my whole world, I love her so deeply. Every morning waking up with her is the most perfect feeling. Being with her has made me a better person partly because she is an amazing person and partly because I am so relieved that I am finally being true to myself. Yay for happy endings!!
This brought tears to my eyes
Congratulations - you are inspiring and incredible
_Avery_
08-25-2011, 03:05 PM
I applied to become a SuicideGirl. Before anyone says anything, I KNOW. My set will be up for member review on/around Oct 14th. My name is Eisley.
And.
I kind of sort of made plans to lose my virginity to my best guy friend when he comes to visit me. And sent him the naked pictures from my unreleased set.
Virginity can be cured!!! ;D
Natalllia
08-25-2011, 09:06 PM
I have the biggest crush on a man who's not my SO.
I've been living with the SO for 3 years, and I do love him, but lately we feel more like best friends than lovers. It's been an embarrassingly long time since I've had sex.
Oh my freaking god, the things I would to do this man (my crush), if only he would let me, and if only I would let myself. It's not helping that we're in a play together, so we get dressed and undressed side by side every night.
Kellydancer
08-25-2011, 10:09 PM
Ok I have a dilemma that many people would envy me about. I met this guy two years ago at this job. He's a nice looking guy much younger than me (he's 27, I'm 40)and wants nothing more than to orally please me. I told him I would not feel comfortable having regular sex with anyone. While thinking of this I get really turned on.
Here's the dilemma: I can separate sex and love but on the other hand I worry that I'll feel guilty because I am looking for a relationship. He has told me he's not looking for a relationship and he's too young for me anyway. I'm not worried about that, what I'm worried about is the guilt for fooling around .
What should I do? I am tempted to just meet him for oral sex and take it from there. If anything maybe it might make me less freaky out about finding someone. I think I'm worrying about my past where I had a few FWBs then found out they found serious girlfriend while I didn't find a great guy. No, I didn't have feelings for most of them just a tinge of jealousy.
Jessie_tinydancer
08-25-2011, 10:11 PM
^ meh I say go for it... if that happens again a tinge of jealous certainly isn't gonna kill ya and in the meantime you can be distracted by a little fun. You shouldn't feel guilty about that.
Kellydancer
08-25-2011, 10:16 PM
Thanks I feel less guilty. I shouldn't feel guilty because I really need some sort of sex and he's more than willing. We both know the score which is good and it's strictly sex. I know someone may question why I would do this when I claim to want to stay abstinent but who knows when I'll meet a guy or even if I will.
kitinboots
08-26-2011, 03:57 AM
At work I look around the room to see which girl is where doing what, and try to calculate how much money they're making compared to me. I can't help it.
anouk.oui
08-27-2011, 09:12 PM
I just have 0 common sense and a shopping addiction.
dont get a big cc limit then........ and constantly pay it every week so u dont end up like me