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4everresolutions
08-27-2011, 11:17 PM
^Or me.

My credit card is totally out of control too...

anouk.oui
08-29-2011, 04:43 AM
mines not too bad only 2k but i max it out everytime i pay it off. and just by buying school things, and food and stuff when im broke. im thinking of increasing it for that reason.
im not as irresponsible as i was when i used it for a holiday and continuous shopping trips and hair ext.

i confess i had a very optimistic day off, only to have my outlook ruined by a week of school and work again. i dont want my health to deteriorate any further

DominoDiva
08-29-2011, 09:35 PM
Confessions is summert ive not done for a while, so this will be long.

I left my Ex partner a few months ago, he killed himself 2 months after our split.
I no longer feel responsable for it.
He broke my spirit and heart.
I have a new man (i dont hang around) who i love so much it hurts.
Im depressed still, i feel useless, no good, and unattractive. I turn myself into someone else at work just to male sure im earning money to help my bf with rent/bills (i moved in with him quickly)
No one at work knows the changes in my life except 2 girls (sisters) who i hold dear to my heart.
I havnt spoke to anyone from my previous life since i left, i left in a bad way.
I cant bring myself to speak to my EX's parents even tho theres things that need sorting out.
My childhood problems have surfaced and ive realised alotta things about my entire life that has made me so deeply unhappy. I know the past is the past, but my heads screwed.
I have disconnected myself from these problems, but they come up out of the blue, unexpected at times, and i have a lil break down each time.
I fear my new bf will leave me, due to my insecurities, i feel like im not attractive enough for him, sex has slowed right down and its only been 3 months we have been together officially. My sex drive is so high with this guy, that im extremly frustrated.
Ive masterbated more times for personal pleasure (im an ex-camgirl) than ever.
I watch more porn than a guy (probably)
I still miss my dog who died 4 yrs ago, i told him everything, and he comforted me with his big brown eyes and cuddles.
I have little energy or lust to do things anymore.
Ive gained weight
Ive descovered i can bake which ive always wanted to do.
Ive become a complete mess in my head and trying to hide it is fucking with me more.
My mum wants me to see a counsellor, but wtf do i say to them, i wouldnt know where to start, and i dont wanna be judged.
I lost friends and i dont know why.
People dont understand me, and tell me i shouldnt think a certain way, but that dosnt help.
I just want to be ok.

DesuvsDeath
08-29-2011, 09:57 PM
My mum wants me to see a counsellor, but wtf do i say to them, i wouldnt know where to start, and i dont wanna be judged.
If you don't know what to say, you can just talk.
It's their job to sit and listen and not judge you.

If you think it might help, you ought to give it a whirl. It's important to have someone "safe" to vent at when you've got so much on your mind.

Eva Rose
08-30-2011, 07:17 AM
I confess that I can't believe that I just agreed not to have sex again until Friday.

My new play time boy and I have been going at it at least every second day since we met a month ago. We haven't done the dirty since Saturday. We've booked a hotel room for Friday night to have a "holiday", and his theory is that not seeing each other until then will build up anticipation. It was a really hot idea for a whole five minutes.

I'm already regretting it.

That boy is going to get mauled come Friday.

Kisca
08-30-2011, 07:50 AM
My mum wants me to see a counsellor, but wtf do i say to them, i wouldnt know where to start, and i dont wanna be judged.


Dont worry, just call in and get an appointment!

It took me about 5 years to finally see someone for help, I always knew something was not right when things got good, I forced myself forgot the bad things, until the negative came back and my emotions went in circles again. I never wanted to admit I needed help, and some people told me I did not need it at all and that I was just "bored" or "lazy", and I didnt want to talk to someone about my personal problems of what has happened.

Once you get your first appointment, it'll feel like a breeze, the counsellors help out so easily and quickly, that you dont really need to think of what to say, it'll come out naturally! Good luck :)

DominoDiva
08-30-2011, 11:02 PM
If you don't know what to say, you can just talk.
It's their job to sit and listen and not judge you.

If you think it might help, you ought to give it a whirl. It's important to have someone "safe" to vent at when you've got so much on your mind.

I think once i start, i could probably just word vomit, its starting that i cant do, but i guess there trained to help you get it out, so im gonna try get an appointment with my GP so he can refer me, i just dont wanna be shoved to the side and given pills for depression, which is what my doctor seems to like doin to people from what i hear of people who have been to him for depression.

xx

DominoDiva
08-30-2011, 11:05 PM
Dont worry, just call in and get an appointment!

It took me about 5 years to finally see someone for help, I always knew something was not right when things got good, I forced myself forgot the bad things, until the negative came back and my emotions went in circles again. I never wanted to admit I needed help, and some people told me I did not need it at all and that I was just "bored" or "lazy", and I didnt want to talk to someone about my personal problems of what has happened.

Once you get your first appointment, it'll feel like a breeze, the counsellors help out so easily and quickly, that you dont really need to think of what to say, it'll come out naturally! Good luck :)


I'm gonna go ahead and make an appointment, nothing really to lose by doing so, i just get scared, wya to easily, its hard enough for me to talk to people in everyday life (work tho seems to be easy most times, i act like someone else tho) ill get over it, hopfully lol, ty
xx

DesuvsDeath
08-30-2011, 11:11 PM
I think once i start, i could probably just word vomit, its starting that i cant do, but i guess there trained to help you get it out, so im gonna try get an appointment with my GP so he can refer me, i just dont wanna be shoved to the side and given pills for depression, which is what my doctor seems to like doin to people from what i hear of people who have been to him for depression.

xx
They're pretty good about asking you questions to get you started... or you can just start somewhere generic and not even talk about what prompted you to make the appt.

Just make sure you're very clear about wanting to talk to someone and wanting the referral. A lot of doctors like to put a patch on it and send you on your way, but if you're persistant and clear about what you want, you'll normally get your way eventually. <3

anouk.oui
08-31-2011, 05:36 AM
i confess i secretly apologise/feel bad for the people i lashed out at recently.
the last 3 weeks i felt like i was constantly PMSing, frustrated and stressed and the smallest thing can set me off.
im just really no good with people and would only mix well with them if im in a high position of power [which i can then abuse].

really, its not you its me.


jks,

it is you.

i hate people.

people suck

anouk.oui
08-31-2011, 06:12 AM
also

i hate it when i walk through a metal detector and my abs of steel set it off

Natalllia
08-31-2011, 09:23 AM
I'm gonna go ahead and make an appointment, nothing really to lose by doing so, i just get scared, wya to easily, its hard enough for me to talk to people in everyday life (work tho seems to be easy most times, i act like someone else tho) ill get over it, hopfully lol, ty
xx

I'm so glad you're giving it a chance. Therapy has literally saved my life before. Keep in mind that you will get the most out of it when you find the counselor you feel comfortable and safe with. If you don't feel that you're "clicking" with the first counselor you speak to, don't completely give up on the idea - there are as many different kinds of therapists out there as there are people, and the right one for you is out there and waiting to be found.

Also, it's totally natural to feel a little awkward or guarded at first. A lot of the benefit of therapy comes from finding a place where you feel safe with someone you trust. Once you find the right counselor, it might take a little time to build up enough trust to where you can really open up and get down to business. You may not "fix" everything in your first visit or two, but try to look at it as a jumping off point - the first step toward something that can be really great in your life.

Good luck!

Jessie_tinydancer
09-01-2011, 12:46 AM
Im so angry and frustrated at the moment with everyone. Any little thing could set me off. Im just so sick of being pulled in every direction by people. Im trying to stay nice and bubbly like my usual self but its getting harder and harder. I feel like people are constantly using me. Does anyone really care about me? Im sick of always giving. I wish I could just go somewhere by myself away from everyone for like a week. But I know as soon as I get back there'd be tons of text messages from people asking for something or the other which would defeat the purpose. :(

anouk.oui
09-01-2011, 01:24 AM
^ OMG you sound just like me!

i thought you were quoting my post for a second.

when you find out what to do can you let me know? i m so sick and tired of feeling the same

Jessie_tinydancer
09-01-2011, 01:34 AM
^Im planning on just telling them all to fuck off. I know who my real friends are I don't need these leeches in my life.

anouk.oui
09-01-2011, 01:42 AM
it works for me at school. i turn around and go "....boo!" everybody goes "AAAHHH"

i think the nicer you are the more people think they can get away with

Jessie_tinydancer
09-01-2011, 03:01 AM
^ Just massively vented to M... crying and everything. He actually just sat there and listened (odd for a man - usually trying to fix it).. I actually feel waaaaay better now. Maybe try it with D.

anouk.oui
09-01-2011, 03:14 AM
good idea. crying helps. though i been crying infront of him already due to stress [once coz i ordered a pizza and it came with the wrong crust, then because the internet ran out hafway through my tv show. theres probably more] and i think he already thinks im crazy / too emotional /pmsing etc. like i totally feel like i been pmsing since i started school 3 weeks ago.

i dont know. i dont wanna make him worried. i prefer to cry in private hugging my plush animals. they listen too =]

oh yeah and i need xanax

RoxyHart
09-01-2011, 07:12 PM
Come back from the dead with a confession, why the hell not!

So today at my daughter's preschool orientation i got to meet and uncomfortably deal with a crowd of parents. Made it through fine. Well, one women in particular has now made me relies that SHE is the person my SO is sposta be with. She went to school with him back in like middle school and they chatted a lot during the time there. She's very pretty, very proper, very smart/strong willed and is a teacher. Her husband just died last year and her daughter is a year older then mine. It was just something about her and the way they interacted that made me think "WOW, I am NOT the person he's sposta be with." . They weren't flirty or anything, they just looked good together and everything.
Now i can't get it out of my head.....

I'm not insecure by any means. I really actually accept this thought. I almost feel guilty about being in the relationship now cause i think he deserves THAT. I can never be THAT. So why am i here? Its a very confusing feeling.

So yeah... i'm really lost in this thought now....

Jessie_tinydancer
09-01-2011, 08:45 PM
good idea. crying helps. though i been crying infront of him already due to stress [once coz i ordered a pizza and it came with the wrong crust, then because the internet ran out hafway through my tv show. theres probably more] and i think he already thinks im crazy / too emotional /pmsing etc. like i totally feel like i been pmsing since i started school 3 weeks ago.

i dont know. i dont wanna make him worried. i prefer to cry in private hugging my plush animals. they listen too =]

oh yeah and i need xanax

Fucking hell I just cried at a nice txt msg from a friend... what the hell is wrong with me?? I really hope its just stress and not something else... like an embryo.. /:O

PleasureVictim
09-01-2011, 10:59 PM
He loves me, I don't love him.....I love you, you don't love me.

I hate this game.

kaiarose
09-02-2011, 01:10 PM
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mod and all but I feel like I can't fully enjoy the site sometimes. I feel like I have to watch everything I say and I feel like I have to stay neutral on threads. I come to SW, check reported posts, deal with issues, give points if needed, write out PM's to those pointed and then by the time that's all done, I'm sick of the pink...lol... Ahh well, I guess the perks outweigh the cons.
Btw, I am just venting.. (see?? I feel like I have to defend myself :/ )

4everresolutions
09-02-2011, 02:54 PM
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mod and all but I feel like I can't fully enjoy the site sometimes. I feel like I have to watch everything I say and I feel like I have to stay neutral on threads. I come to SW, check reported posts, deal with issues, give points if needed, write out PM's to those pointed and then by the time that's all done, I'm sick of the pink...lol... Ahh well, I guess the perks outweigh the cons.
Btw, I am just venting.. (see?? I feel like I have to defend myself :/ )

Kaia, even before you were a mod you were one of the most genuine, impartial users on the site. I totally get the 'sick of it aspect' (because there's only so much sw a person can tolerate) but as for needing to justify yourself - you really don't. We know you around here, and you're personaity/character isn't the type that needed reining in before you were a mod. I mean, I think i would feel the same in your shoes too.... But don't worry to much about being a 'good role model' for us SW girls now that you're a mod, because you were always a good role model before that.

Hopefully that makes sense....I think what I'm saying is just be you. You can still have an opinion and be an authority figure. No one will give you flack for that.

kitinboots
09-03-2011, 07:12 AM
My ex invited me to Portugal with him and a few mutual friends. I declined, but I really, really want to go!!

charlie61
09-03-2011, 11:18 AM
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mod and all but I feel like I can't fully enjoy the site sometimes. I feel like I have to watch everything I say and I feel like I have to stay neutral on threads. I come to SW, check reported posts, deal with issues, give points if needed, write out PM's to those pointed and then by the time that's all done, I'm sick of the pink...lol... Ahh well, I guess the perks outweigh the cons.
Btw, I am just venting.. (see?? I feel like I have to defend myself :/ )

Giiiirl....I feel ya. :hug:

Mindy Bares All
09-03-2011, 02:35 PM
My ex invited me to Portugal with him and a few mutual friends. I declined, but I really, really want to go!!

Then, go!

It can be "that time I could have gone to Portugal," or "That time I went to Portugal." Your choice.

charlie61
09-03-2011, 03:04 PM
Met up at a hotel last night with my ex-boss and he got his dick sucked by a blue-eyed, salt & pepper, extremely handsome older man while I ordered him around. When I finally let him get himself off, he shot at least 7 feet across the room, hitting the wall.

Mindy Bares All
09-03-2011, 03:13 PM
Met up at a hotel last night with my ex-boss and he got his dick sucked by a blue-eyed, salt & pepper, extremely handsome older man while I ordered him around. When I finally let him get himself off, he shot at least 7 feet across the room, hitting the wall.

Hahaha. That's quite the image. :D

Anastasia Foxx
09-03-2011, 03:15 PM
My confession is this:

I am SO angry at my so-called "best friend" right now that I can't stand it. I've spent years standing up for her, being there every time she needed me, being the calm in all her storms and yet she feels justified in backing up another girl at the club who called me a thief (when anyone who knows me knows I'm not, in fact when a lot of the girls get seriously fucked up at the club, they hand me their money to count and bank face and I've never taken so much as a dollar). She just sat there and stared at the floor while this little bitch went on and on to the manager (who doesn't believe them either, or else he wouldn't let me have a cash register when I work the door at the club during the week).

THEN, on top of all this, she's supposed to have been helping me plan my wedding, but she hasn't done anything more than find some decorations online - and it took a month of bitching and harassment to get her to do that. She still hasn't ordered her saree, despite being sent the links almost FOUR months ago when she was making money, and now she's pleading poverty. But what's funny is this: she & her hubby are currently on a week long vacation in Miami, when they were leaving, she was telling me they were staying with his grandmother, according to Facebook, they've been in a hotel, in Miami, at the height of the season.

I'm tired of being treated like a piece of furniture.

I'm also retiring from dancing. 10 years is enough and I am beginning to think that what's going on in the clubs now is the new reality, and quite honestly, I'm tired of guys asking if I'm gonna get their dick wet during a $20 topless dance. And we won't even talk about the girl we caught on the monitors sucking, fucking and fisting for 7 songs, making all of $150.

Yeah, I'm aggravated, can you tell?

Kellydancer
09-03-2011, 03:42 PM
Kaia, even before you were a mod you were one of the most genuine, impartial users on the site. I totally get the 'sick of it aspect' (because there's only so much sw a person can tolerate) but as for needing to justify yourself - you really don't. We know you around here, and you're personaity/character isn't the type that needed reining in before you were a mod. I mean, I think i would feel the same in your shoes too.... But don't worry to much about being a 'good role model' for us SW girls now that you're a mod, because you were always a good role model before that.

Hopefully that makes sense....I think what I'm saying is just be you. You can still have an opinion and be an authority figure. No one will give you flack for that.

Agreed. When I first heard she was made mod my first thought was a better mod couldn't be found. I've never seen Kaia fight with anyone. There has been a lot of fighting here lately but I think it's the economy because I see it everywhere.

Mindy Bares All
09-03-2011, 04:08 PM
Hahahahahahahahah!!!! Yessssssss!!!!!

1000 posts!!!

Weeeee!!

anouk.oui
09-03-2011, 07:32 PM
Fucking hell I just cried at a nice txt msg from a friend... what the hell is wrong with me?? I really hope its just stress and not something else... like an embryo.. /:O

and he totally ruined my saturday. fucking men.
so i cried to him and he just got angry and tried to solve my problems so i left and went shopping!!

solid advice from me to you: GO. SHOPPING. NAO.

it helps =]]

i feel like such a fucking pussy constantly crying.

bah i think uni is like the dementors in harry potter. it sucks out your happiness and willingness to live

charlie61
09-03-2011, 07:37 PM
Met up at a hotel last night with my ex-boss and he got his dick sucked by a blue-eyed, salt & pepper, extremely handsome older man while I ordered him around. When I finally let him get himself off, he shot at least 7 feet across the room, hitting the wall.


Hahaha. That's quite the image. :D

It was super fucking sexy.

whirlerz
09-03-2011, 08:19 PM
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mod and all but I feel like I can't fully enjoy the site sometimes. I feel like I have to watch everything I say and I feel like I have to stay neutral on threads. I come to SW, check reported posts, deal with issues, give points if needed, write out PM's to those pointed and then by the time that's all done, I'm sick of the pink...lol... Ahh well, I guess the perks outweigh the cons.
Btw, I am just venting.. (see?? I feel like I have to defend myself :/ )

Hugs to you, & I think your boobs look great!

Kisca
09-03-2011, 09:38 PM
I hate men they're all pigs... Its either they are players or they are crazy.

Whatever happened to the man picking up the girl, taking her to dinner? Instead some insane guy wants ME to go over to HIS house for dinner when we met once.. No thanks buddy, Im not that desperate to get laid with your little dick.

Im also hating on my BF for not calling me atm so I psycho-dailed his phone. When you say you're going to do something do it!

My mom suggested I start working as a stewardess to meet my RICH husband there! Doesn't sound like a bad idea. No one here is rich.. but in debt!

Susan-Va
09-04-2011, 06:10 AM
Thinking it may have been a bad idea to go to the beach for the weekend with the girl my ex is starting to hang out with.

kaiarose
09-04-2011, 09:13 AM
Met up at a hotel last night with my ex-boss and he got his dick sucked by a blue-eyed, salt & pepper, extremely handsome older man while I ordered him around. When I finally let him get himself off, he shot at least 7 feet across the room, hitting the wall.

Wow!! You seem so innocent that it's hard for me to picture this! But wow }:D


And thanks everyone for the kind words :)

kitinboots
09-04-2011, 09:25 AM
Then, go!

It can be "that time I could have gone to Portugal," or "That time I went to Portugal." Your choice.

I already declined, and agreed to dogsit for him while he's away.
Now a guy I was seeing more recently is coming back to town for a few days. I'm excited to see him, but if I'm on the brink of getting back with the ex, I don't want to mess it all up. Massive headfuck.

Natalllia
09-04-2011, 11:11 AM
I have never been fucked like I was by my first live-in bf. I was 19, he was 23, and he was the third man I'd ever had sex with. It's been over 10 years, and I've been fucked properly since then, but it's never been THAT good. I've been in love since, but not like THAT. I was so madly in love, and he had just the BEST cock. Mmmmm, god I miss him.

I fear that I will never find love like that again, and that I will never be fucked like that again. That's so depressing.:'(

creolekitty
09-04-2011, 06:36 PM
I've been feeling guilty about being a stripper. My parents have been nice lately and I am starting to see how much they're willing to do for me - and they would be so disappointed if they knew what I was really doing -_-'

Arianna419
09-04-2011, 07:30 PM
My confession....

Just watched the Kim Kardashian sex tape for the first time. Out of curiosity. I thought she would be embarrassing herself like the Paris Hilton sex tape. But Kim was surprisingly not bad in bed. It was pretty hot. I think celebrity sex tapes are becoming a guilty pleasure for me... weird.

charlie61
09-04-2011, 09:56 PM
Wow!! You seem so innocent that it's hard for me to picture this! But wow }:D


And thanks everyone for the kind words :)

I guess that makes sense. But let me assure you, my lovely...asexual =/= innocent! }:D

strippername
09-04-2011, 10:11 PM
Confession: I went to find the Kim K video and watched a bit of it. I wasn't impressed!

Jessie_tinydancer
09-05-2011, 12:02 AM
^ It looks like she's coked up through most of it to me as well.

Kisca
09-05-2011, 03:15 AM
I confess...

I fooled around with an engaged guy. We havnt seen each other in 2 years since we both lost contact, we recently started hanging out and he gave me an awesome message down there and didnt ask anything in return! Him and I been talking to each other more than to our own BFs/Gfs!

I feel so naughty.. but I didnt pressure anyone.

aussiebelle
09-05-2011, 05:53 AM
On Saturday night at the club there was this really young guy that actually looked about 12, wearing shorts and runners. Anyway I asked him for a dance and he accepted, but said he could only afford a $20 dance (generally I only sell $50 dances). We went in the private rooms and he paid me a $10 note then went to empty his wallet and count out the other $10 in change hahaha.

I've never been paid in coins before and the poor young guy literally spent every last $ he had on me.

kitinboots
09-05-2011, 07:44 AM
I came back to work for 3 weeks, but reached my 3 week goal in just over 1. I now have just 1 week left and I feel so lazy about it. I want to be at home, sorting out my personal life. I know I should be happy knowing I'll go home with more than anticipated, but my mind is focussed elsewhere.


Oh and its 5pm and my roomate is asleep and sleeptalking in Italian.

Arianna419
09-05-2011, 08:40 AM
Confession: I went to find the Kim K video and watched a bit of it. I wasn't impressed!

For porn standards, it sucked. For Kardashian standards, I thought it was good. But that isn't really saying much.

Kat w
09-05-2011, 05:06 PM
I am working on a senior art "thesis" and I want to do a portraiture series on strippers. I think my professors aren't taking it/me seriously.

kthnx
09-05-2011, 06:37 PM
I hate men they're all pigs... Its either they are players or they are crazy.

Whatever happened to the man picking up the girl, taking her to dinner? Instead some insane guy wants ME to go over to HIS house for dinner when we met once.. No thanks buddy, Im not that desperate to get laid with your little dick.

Im also hating on my BF for not calling me atm so I psycho-dailed his phone. When you say you're going to do something do it!

My mom suggested I start working as a stewardess to meet my RICH husband there! Doesn't sound like a bad idea. No one here is rich.. but in debt!

I hear ya about the flaky guy thing!! A while back I had a flaky ex who later (long after the relationship fizzled due to his stupidity and flakiness) had the nerve to email my best friEnd and ask her for my phone number. she asked him why he'd think I'd want him to contact me after he was a "shitty bf". then I sent him a VERY detailed email, blasting him for all the things he did wrong...similar to kisca's post about how some guys are. I also told him I didn't need him becuz I found a much better guy who enjoyed being a family man and was looking to have a baby with me (my current partner). And ended the email with "good luck with ur next set of gfs i guess" (no hes not a player either so i knew thatd set him off haha). Lol needless to say neither me nor my friend got a response from the coward :D