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rubyredlipsss
06-02-2010, 12:11 PM
just buy the paper online!!!

haha. i wish but i already submitted my proposal so the prof knows my topic and it's really obscure. i did some research done. i still have more to do plus writing and i'm sure i'll be procrastinating more. oh weeelll.

mediocrity
06-02-2010, 12:14 PM
I have been drinking too much.

It's ok. I just kicked the over boozing six weeks ago. It's rough but it can be done.

_Avery_
06-02-2010, 12:15 PM
I farted.

Harleigh HellKat
06-02-2010, 12:16 PM
I haven't been drinking enough. Damn you NC and your strict laws!!!

I confess I'm being lazy today.

anouk.oui
06-02-2010, 04:52 PM
my mum thinks im moving out from the carefully put away money i earnt at 'the bar' for months, not a week of dancing.

also my hairdresser didnt cost 600. more like 1300.

rubyredlipsss
06-02-2010, 07:43 PM
i'm drinking bacardi when i promised myself i would stop drinking. and eating ricecakes. i know this is a bad bad thing but i found a bottle that i stashed awhile ago and forgot about and it was calling my name. i couldn't resist. bad. bad. bad.

JayATee
06-02-2010, 10:07 PM
I'm sleeping with my ex husband again...

Simone NinaNin
06-02-2010, 10:34 PM
Wine is my poison. I only drink when I'm not working. I feel out of sorts outside the club sometimes. A glass of wine eases the night. This is a new habit of mine and I'm not quite ready to give it up.

mediocrity
06-02-2010, 11:52 PM
After a lot of soul searching, I hit the final straw tonight with my mother. What she did to my sister was beyond the realm of fucked up.

I got the guts to say enough is enough and she is out of my life for good. I feel confused but a great wash of relief. After a long talk with my sister, who agrees with me, and my husband, who backs me up 100%, I'm ready to let go of the 27 years of abuse.

I will never forgive her, but I will start over and forget.

Harleigh HellKat
06-03-2010, 12:06 AM
::hugs:: I know how it is to grow up with a mom who is abusive. Mine is out of my life as well. I don't know what yours did, but mine pretty much made me feel worthless my entire life. I'm sure you'll feel much better once you step out of the cloud of negativity.

pixierocksonthepole
06-03-2010, 05:47 AM
Okay so I can now completely confess. My husband finally got his discharge papers and that means he can join the Army and will be signing up in a week or two. Other part of my confession that no one knows about...I may be pregnant or I may have lost it... "/ We aren't sure.

JayATee
06-03-2010, 05:07 PM
Okay so I can now completely confess. My husband finally got his discharge papers and that means he can join the Army and will be signing up in a week or two. Other part of my confession that no one knows about...I may be pregnant or I may have lost it... "/ We aren't sure.

Oh honey, big hugs. I just went through this a few months ago. If you need anything, even just a shoulder, please pm me!

(sorry I know no one has really been commenting on these but I couldn't help it.)

4everresolutions
06-03-2010, 08:08 PM
My confession - I HATE MY TRAINER! But he's super qualified and really knows how too whip me into shape fast, plus he knows how to deal with my shitty back. I have to tolerate his narcissism for just 3 sessions, and it'll be over....


After a lot of soul searching, I hit the final straw tonight with my mother. What she did to my sister was beyond the realm of fucked up.

I got the guts to say enough is enough and she is out of my life for good. I feel confused but a great wash of relief. After a long talk with my sister, who agrees with me, and my husband, who backs me up 100%, I'm ready to let go of the 27 years of abuse.

I will never forgive her, but I will start over and forget.

Props to you honey! That takes a lot of courage. I'm glad you have support in your decision and I'm glad that weight has been lifted from you.

If you don't mind me asking ...do you wish you had done it sooner? I'm on the verge of 'dumping' my abusive mother (BPD) - I've tried several times before but I always go crawling back believing everything is my fault. So typical, all that FOG. I keep thinking if I wait a few more years things will get better....ugh. I'm 21 and don't want to waste my stress and worries on her....(maybe I should have PMed this? Eh....:-\)

mediocrity
06-03-2010, 08:32 PM
My confession - I HATE MY TRAINER! But he's super qualified and really knows how too whip me into shape fast, plus he knows how to deal with my shitty back. I have to tolerate his narcissism for just 3 sessions, and it'll be over....



Props to you honey! That takes a lot of courage. I'm glad you have support in your decision and I'm glad that weight has been lifted from you.

If you don't mind me asking ...do you wish you had done it sooner? I'm on the verge of 'dumping' my abusive mother (BPD) - I've tried several times before but I always go crawling back believing everything is my fault. So typical, all that FOG. I keep thinking if I wait a few more years things will get better....ugh. I'm 21 and don't want to waste my stress and worries on her....(maybe I should have PMed this? Eh....:-\)

Support while doing this is absolutely key. I am not kidding when I say that when my mother calls, my husband literally comes unglued just listening to my side of the conversation. He is there for me to talk to at any time, as is my sister who is also cutting her loose.

My dad always says my mother uses the FOG as well. She always calls me a fattie ( I'm 5'8" and a size 4), "snot nosed little wretch", etc... telling my sister and I she'd pack up and leave and we'd never see her again and all that noise. I believed it for years and it shot my self esteem to shit. Don't buy it.

You're 21, get out now if you have the support. It will save you trouble in the long run, trust me. Don't end up Captain Abandonment Issues like me.

DirtyLittleSecret
06-03-2010, 08:54 PM
Forgive me SW for i have sinned (ok not really but confessions made think of that).

I want to be a cam girl so bad it hurts. BUT i have a stick in the mud boyfriend of 7yrs who would never allow it and a 3yr old daughter who is home with me all day every day (SAHM). Since i can't be a stripper (see boyfriend, hypocrite stick in mud) i figured i'd just get my "sexual manic energy" (i'm bipolar) out there camming (better then sleeping with his friends....). Its like everywhere i turn i hit a wall and i'm stuck in a stepford wife life. *pout* Can i at least at some point get a damn pole in our future house??!! I'll even settle for that!

Wow, that feels better.

CherryBomb954
06-04-2010, 04:13 AM
Once in a while I turn down my husband for sex then masturbate to porn after he leaves the house!!

I get in these weird moods where I am horny, but don't want to be touched, and nothing turns me on except the thought of doing this.

Harleigh HellKat
06-04-2010, 02:52 PM
Weird. I do that too sometimes.^^

Wow I didn't know having an abusive mom was such a common thing... like the exact same things I went through. Mine has control issues, and it shows in how I was raised and the fact that she is a habitual animal hoarder. Once, in high school she beat me up for having bad grades and I went to the school guidance counselor who was no help at all. DHR visited and my mom made up stories about how I lied etc, and their solution was that I needed to 'go to church'. I had no one on my side.

mediocrity
06-04-2010, 04:42 PM
Weird. I do that too sometimes.^^

Wow I didn't know having an abusive mom was such a common thing... like the exact same things I went through. Mine has control issues, and it shows in how I was raised and the fact that she is a habitual animal hoarder. Once, in high school she beat me up for having bad grades and I went to the school guidance counselor who was no help at all. DHR visited and my mom made up stories about how I lied etc, and their solution was that I needed to 'go to church'. I had no one on my side.

Ugh. When I got bigger my mother would wait til I sat down and then beat the crap out of my head and shoulders in a fit. Then she'd sigh and be like "See what you made me do? now my hands hurt and are all red!!!".

I know what you mean about feeling like you have no one on your side. I had a little sister to protect (she's 5 yrs younger ), and my father had no idea because he was Navy and out at sea months at a time. It got considerably better once he retired but by then I was in my teens.

I haven't heard from my mother in two days and I have never felt better. I'd advise anyone who has an abusive mother to cut them out. It's not worth it at all.

Harleigh HellKat
06-04-2010, 05:06 PM
I agree. I've just now gotten to mend my self esteem.

I was basically a tool to force my dad into marrying my mom. It didn't work. I've never met the guy. So it's not that my mom wanted me, she just wanted control over somebody.

KS_Stevia
06-05-2010, 05:49 PM
My confession is that I'm sitting around right now with bleach on my asshole! :rotfl: The worst part is....I've already bleached, and am just doing monthly maintenance now! This is way itchy! haha

Why do you anal bleach if you don't mind me asking? Like, I understand why porn stars and I guess, strippers, do it..although I don't agree with it because there's nothing offensive to me about the color of the butthole. But why bother doing it if you aren't dancing, and, I presume (incorrectly?) that you are not dating right now?

Harleigh HellKat
06-05-2010, 07:14 PM
I want to see before and after pics cause I'm curious. I'm considering doing southern charms so obviously more of my um, downstairs/backdoor area will be visible than just topless dancing. I googled it but found no good pics! Maybe I should just look at porn stars' booties. Is it a noticeable difference?

My confession: I was in a car wreck today and it wasn't our fault. In a weird way, although it scared the shit out of me... I'm relieved. We couldn't afford the car anymore and it is now totaled. We were trying to figure out what to do with the car and my boyfriend kept joking about hoping that someone would hit us. Well... someone ran a red light and freaking hit us. The end!

mediocrity
06-05-2010, 11:17 PM
After not eating any junk for god knows how long and having noticeable weight loss ( thanks JD for noticing!), I'm having the hubs bring me home a BK Veggie burger with double cheese.

That's right! Fat kid FTW tonight!

Harleigh HellKat
06-05-2010, 11:31 PM
^I had stuffed shells and garlic bread today. I deserved it though, yayyy stress!

princessjas
06-06-2010, 12:37 AM
After not eating any junk for god knows how long and having noticeable weight loss ( thanks JD for noticing!), I'm having the hubs bring me home a BK Veggie burger with double cheese.

That's right! Fat kid FTW tonight!

Beware of the BK Gardenburger!! I ordered one today, didn't pay attention since I was driving and took a bite...and it was real meat!! Was in the right wrapper and I order it no mayo add mustard, so you'd think they wouldn't just throw whatever they had around to me, but alas, I ended up with a regular Whopper. Sucked big time!

Be careful and check em!

pixierocksonthepole
06-06-2010, 12:30 PM
Starting today I am going to watch what I eat and drink. Alcohol is a no go. And it isn't for weight loss. My husband and I agreed last night that we are ready to be parents, we just won't be trying for it for another two years. But in the chance that I do get pregnant before then because we won't be taking precaution, I want to be in great shape and great health for it. I'm not taking any chances of messing it up. ^_^

charlie61
06-06-2010, 05:34 PM
Starting today I am going to watch what I eat and drink. Alcohol is a no go. And it isn't for weight loss. My husband and I agreed last night that we are ready to be parents, we just won't be trying for it for another two years. But in the chance that I do get pregnant before then because we won't be taking precaution, I want to be in great shape and great health for it. I'm not taking any chances of messing it up. ^_^

Awww, yay! Good luck with ze pregnancy!

princessjas
06-06-2010, 06:01 PM
Starting today I am going to watch what I eat and drink. Alcohol is a no go. And it isn't for weight loss. My husband and I agreed last night that we are ready to be parents, we just won't be trying for it for another two years. But in the chance that I do get pregnant before then because we won't be taking precaution, I want to be in great shape and great health for it. I'm not taking any chances of messing it up. ^_^


Congrats!!! Look into eating for health! I'm a vegetarian but ate lean beef twice a week during my pregnancy to avoid anemia. Most North Americans actually get about 4-500% of their daily protein requirment and are at almost twice their iron requirments so it's not anything to worry about. I would start adding random veggies to you salads tho. That's what I did and it was easy peasy to get the majority of the stuff I needed that way.

*Sending healthy baby vibes*

pixierocksonthepole
06-06-2010, 09:14 PM
Congrats!!! Look into eating for health! I'm a vegetarian but ate lean beef twice a week during my pregnancy to avoid anemia. Most North Americans actually get about 4-500% of their daily protein requirment and are at almost twice their iron requirments so it's not anything to worry about. I would start adding random veggies to you salads tho. That's what I did and it was easy peasy to get the majority of the stuff I needed that way.

*Sending healthy baby vibes*

Oh yes specifically for health. I will never be able to be strictly vegetarian because of my mass amounts of food allergies but I am going to try my absolute best. :D We just aren't telling anyone in the family or our friends. Just keeping it as is but taking better care.

Thank you!

mediocrity
06-06-2010, 10:22 PM
Starting today I am going to watch what I eat and drink. Alcohol is a no go. And it isn't for weight loss. My husband and I agreed last night that we are ready to be parents, we just won't be trying for it for another two years. But in the chance that I do get pregnant before then because we won't be taking precaution, I want to be in great shape and great health for it. I'm not taking any chances of messing it up. ^_^

Wow, huge step, congratulations! I quit boozing for other reasons, and I feel a lot better; also am a lot thinner. Win.

My husband and I are child free by choice, but have decided I am going to donate my eggs for someone who needs them.

Harleigh HellKat
06-06-2010, 10:30 PM
I was thinking of egg donation. I'm super scared of surgery though, and the weight gain I'm sure would suck! Good for you for making the decision though!

pixierocksonthepole
06-06-2010, 10:38 PM
I had thought about doing the egg donation a few years ago. I'm so not against it. I think it is such a great thing. But my health honestly, isn't all that great from genetics. And I know that some of those places, some of the best are very selective. And I can understand why. And now my husband just doesn't really like the idea lol.

Harleigh HellKat
06-06-2010, 10:55 PM
Yeah I also have a few genetic flaws. Such as Psoriasis... somewhat insignificant but incredibly annoying!

rubyredlipsss
06-06-2010, 11:12 PM
i've thought about egg donation too. but i have bipolar disorder...so i think i'm out.

_Avery_
06-07-2010, 12:22 PM
I can't stop eating today. :(

rubyredlipsss
06-07-2010, 03:36 PM
i haven't gotten out of bed today yet. now i'm watching judge judy. yeah, i'm the best procrastinator evaaar. should be studying but damn, a nap sounds really appealing right now.

JayATee
06-07-2010, 04:25 PM
My husband and I are child free by choice, but have decided I am going to donate my eggs for someone who needs them.

I did that. Probably one of the most meaningful things I've ever done.

Glamgirl
06-08-2010, 02:31 AM
My uncle died yesterday, he had been severely disabled for almost 15 years and he wouldve hated being a prisoner in his own body. So we all feel a sigh of relief, my mum said he never looked so peaceful and its like now he can be free.
We are sad obvously and i think his funeral will really hit me(we are playing free bird) but at least he is free.

pixierocksonthepole
06-08-2010, 04:48 AM
^^^I am sorry for your loss. I'm sending you love!! :-*

Harleigh HellKat
06-08-2010, 10:06 AM
Oh wow we had Freebird at a friend's funeral about 2 months ago.

:hugs::

Glamgirl
06-08-2010, 10:49 AM
Thanks ladies :)

I am dreading the funeral, ive never been to one before and he is gettin cremated so i know what happens when those curtains close. I'm just not good around upset people, i never know what to say and i clam up if i get upset in public.

Harleigh HellKat
06-08-2010, 11:15 AM
I do too. I get very quiet. My friend was cremated and it was the first cremated memorial I've ever been to. Honestly I prefer it to open casket. It was probably the best memorial I've ever been to, and I hope I get to go out with such a bang!

I totally know what you mean about not being good around upset people... I never know what to say. I'm southern so I usually just cook a lot of food for the family. :D

Kellydancer
06-08-2010, 01:05 PM
Yeah I also have a few genetic flaws. Such as Psoriasis... somewhat insignificant but incredibly annoying!

I have it too. It can be very annoying and I know when I get insurance again I am going to try more medications.

Strangely though when I checked into egg donation years ago I either didn't have it, or it was extremely mild (where I thought I didn't have it). Egg donation is a very rigorous thing to do. I know I had to fill out paper after paper and went for several tests. At the time I had no illness, and they really wanted me to do it because not only was I smart (I think I was in college at the time) I have great genetics lookwise and healthwise. I decided against it because I'd have to take shots everyday, deal with various side effects (including bloat with eggs) and actually do the harvest. At the time I was strongly against having kids, but had I done it, it also would have sent me into menopause much earlier, possibly years (a side effect they rarely mention). Not to mention I'd always wonder if I have genetic children out there. I am too old now (39) and have arthritis so it's not even a choice for me.

Harleigh HellKat
06-08-2010, 01:08 PM
Try Clobex... it's a spray steroid that eliminated mine in two weeks. It popped up on my elbows now, but it hasn't appeared on my scalp since.

I believe arthitis also runs in my family, as well as skin cancer... this is why I choose not to have kids.... well one of many reasons.

Kellydancer
06-08-2010, 01:21 PM
Try Clobex... it's a spray steroid that eliminated mine in two weeks. It popped up on my elbows now, but it hasn't appeared on my scalp since.

I believe arthitis also runs in my family, as well as skin cancer... this is why I choose not to have kids.... well one of many reasons.

Thanks, I'll try that. Luckily in the summer it kind of goes into remission but in winter it is awful. I suspect my arthritis showed up because of being active (dancing and sports) but could also be because of psoriasis. I know in my family diabetes and high blood pressure runs in the family, but they usually shows up later in life, and most of those who are/were diabetic were obese.

jennsweet
06-09-2010, 07:45 PM
I have a touch of it too... i think my psoriasis gets worse with stress too. its on my elbows, in my ears, toes, knees, and scalp ~sadness

princessjas
06-09-2010, 07:53 PM
Why do you anal bleach if you don't mind me asking? Like, I understand why porn stars and I guess, strippers, do it..although I don't agree with it because there's nothing offensive to me about the color of the butthole. But why bother doing it if you aren't dancing, and, I presume (incorrectly?) that you are not dating right now?

Yeah, I did it for my guy! Definitely an ass man!! I don't think there is anything offensive about the previous color of my butthole and he had no issues with it....I just did it as a fun little pressie for him! (Trust me, if I'd ever been asked to do it, it'd probably piss me off, I'm submissive, but that would really irk me!) I think the biggest turn-on was just the fact that I wanted to please him enough to bleach my ass! haha ;D Butthole beautification to please Daddy! :rotfl:

Su Su
06-10-2010, 10:18 AM
We were on the subject about strippers when I asked him..
What if you fell in love with a stripper?
His response was a surprised "are you a stripper?!"
I quietly said "....No." and felt guilty about lying to him. He didn't approve of them.

I enjoy stripping and I think I'm in love and I wouldn't want him to leave me... :(

That's the confession for the day, thanks.

charlie61
06-10-2010, 10:54 AM
We were on the subject about strippers when I asked him..
What if you fell in love with a stripper?
His response was a surprised "are you a stripper?!"
I quietly said "....No." and felt guilty about lying to him. He didn't approve of them.

I enjoy stripping and I think I'm in love and I wouldn't want him to leave me... :(

That's the confession for the day, thanks.


If he doesn't love everything about you, especially something as big as your job, then is it really love? :-\

joyount
06-11-2010, 04:06 AM
I have a crush on my DJ. He's totally cool and he's also NOT physically attractive. In any way really. I actually masturbated thinking about him today. I'm also happily married.
yeah well that's great .,.,.,cause you do find your life more pleasure and pleasure makes as happy even boys too. thanks

_Avery_
06-11-2010, 10:24 AM
Deleted.