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Kisca
05-18-2012, 08:54 AM
deleted

_natasha
05-18-2012, 09:16 AM
Im thinking of buying a LV bag today.. My purse is worn out but I cant really afford one persay. I need to repay off some debt before Sept... But the same time I didnt get any bday presents.. So.... I tihnk i should?

I have a Neverfull MM and I swear, most practical purchase I have ever made. It still looks brand new, and goes everywhere with me - beach, gym, school. And looks good with everything, its timeless. I sound like an advert, but I love that thing!

_natasha
05-18-2012, 09:19 AM
Right now I think I'm the saddest I have ever been in my entire life. I swear. It's fucking pathetic, over a pathetic worthless piece of shit. I fucking hate living alone at time like this, I just want someone to cuddle me and tell me I'm going to be ok.

tuesdaymarie
05-18-2012, 10:32 PM
^I can't cuddle you, but I'll tell you it'll all be okay.


I had a nightmare about my sadistic ex last night. He was trying to break my wrists again. I lit him on fire and watched his face melt. Fucked up, I know, but seeing that that face that stared as he did so many awful things to me could just melt away like that was so relieving... I've been afraid that he's going to come back one day, find out where I live or something, stalk me, hurt me, hurt someone I love... I just want him to stay far, far away forever.

Miss_McKenna
05-19-2012, 02:56 AM
It's 6am and I'm laying on my bed watching funny videos online and eating my way through a giant cupcake. I moved onto the funny videos after I got tired of researching the birthday trip I'm thinking of taking by myself. I definitely have issues.

the shy girl
05-19-2012, 07:36 AM
I keep trying to convince myself that I love my body, but I just can't. I'm so jealous of girls with fake boobies! I think I'm gonna start stripping along with camming to save up. I thought of using some of the money my family is giving me for college to get a BA, but that just sounds horrible.

_Avery_
05-19-2012, 03:29 PM
deleted

sananeko
05-19-2012, 07:01 PM
You can give it a try. I have had no luck with it and only get messaged for nsa sex.. even tho I say I'm not into it.

_Avery_
05-19-2012, 07:13 PM
deleted.asdfasd

JayATee
05-19-2012, 07:38 PM
I'd recommend calling the psychology department at whatever hospital / clinic you choose, and asking if they have triage nurses around. If you can get someone who does triage on the phone, then they'll be able to set you up with a therapist who specializes in your area of concern. It's better than starting off with someone random.

It's going to be a waste of time anyway. I'm not the problem. I just know I can be a vicious, vindictive cunt and if the goal is to make this work in some sort of fashion I can't do that.... at least not forever. }:D

Kellydancer
05-19-2012, 09:25 PM
When I read about all the relationship issues people have I can't help but be thrilled I am still single.

Last night I had a strange dream that's been bothering me. Basically I dreamt that I got engaged and went wedding dress shopping. What's weird is that I haven't had dreams about anything wedding related since my loser ex and at this point have given up on marriage. What's even stranger is that I'm meeting many men both online and through people but none of them are wowing me. A few seem like decent guys but not for me. One guy in particular both my mom and her best friend are trying to get me to date because he's a great guy. Apparently he doesn't have kids (my dealbreaker)and they don't think he was married before either. He's a business owner and well liked guy. He also seems to have the same interests as me. The reason he doesn't appeal to me is because while he's older than me at 50, he looks much older. He's mostly grey and looks older than my parents. He also looks like Jerry Garcia too. Luckily he hasn't asked me out so maybe he's not interested either, though he's very shy so hard to say.

_Avery_
05-20-2012, 11:06 AM
/anger

kaiarose
05-20-2012, 11:41 AM
^Yikes :/ Yes, def call your doctor. It's so hard to imagine you doing those things! It's understandable with all the bullshit you've been putting up with though. I'm surprised you haven't snapped sooner..lol.. At least you are realizing you need some sort of help before you do end up hurting someone. (((hugs)))

P.S. I have to applaud you a little bit because you did what alot of us would like to do to people when they piss us off...lol

luscious sadie
05-20-2012, 12:30 PM
that kind of thing was happening to me. I had a girl staying with me and everything felt so out of control. When I kicked her out things went back to normal.

roast
05-20-2012, 12:35 PM
My 20s is just full of me wanting to be an impulsive dumbass but it feels like I missed the mark, like the ship sailed and I missed it.

I hate owning and having so much crap in my space. I fantasize about setting my house on fire and burning all of my and my BF's shit to the ground. I fantasize about this scenario regularly (see above).

Ive started to bare my teeth at people who look at me for too long in public places. I get the strangest thrill at their reaction.

I have am totally attracted to Justin Bieber. I have a folder on my hard drive full of his pictures.

The only thing keeping me from being a pothead is vanity.

_Avery_
05-20-2012, 01:09 PM
done ranting

smeca
05-20-2012, 02:30 PM
I've been wanting to boast because i had a great night last night. made a crappy week great and i was the 2nd top girl :D but i've spent a year making naff money so i'm allowing myself to enjoyyy it, realising i am not just crap at it, i'm a normal stripper! lol

Spinnerette
05-20-2012, 04:08 PM
Sometimes my sadism takes precedence over being "proper".

mediocrity
05-20-2012, 04:10 PM
deleted.

mediocrity
05-20-2012, 04:11 PM
double post.

JayATee
05-20-2012, 05:31 PM
Unfortunately I think that awful tempers are exacerbated by emotional trauma and abuse, which you've totally been through. I think it's related to the "fight" in the "fight or flight" response. You end up with an overactive "fight" trigger after you get shit on so many times.



This is me exactly.

anouk.oui
05-22-2012, 10:34 AM
i dont know if i fell back in love with my ex or never stopped loving him... but whenever im with him i feel like hes my other half and i cant pull him in close enough when we hug. maybe the time apart made us realise how useless we are without each other in our lives. none of the men ive seen in the past 5 months we werent together compared to him. even when i was happy and thought i liked someone and forgot completely about my ex i felt like something was missing and kept disconnecting with all of them even if i did like one or two...

i realise im risking letting him hurt me again but i know what im getting into i guess. i think its worth it to see and let things run their course.


also dark shadows is a kickass movie. i prefer tim burton when he edges on the creepy side more so than commercial. he does creepy well. i wish him and helena bonham carter would adopt me. or give me a job.

kaiarose
05-22-2012, 12:49 PM
My feet are hideous. Seriously. I only wear a size 6 but I think my toes make up most of that. I have 2 knuckles on each toe...not normal!!! My husband doesn't help matters eaither by flinching away every time they get close to him :( He's suppose to love every inch of me goddamn it!

luscious sadie
05-22-2012, 01:25 PM
I decided to get my boobs done by Dr. Revis. I have told a few people at work and every time that I do they tell me to go and see a surgeon closer to where I live (close to Toronto).

the truth is: I don't WANT to see a doctor in TO. Not only are BAs more expensive up here (I'm aware that with travel it will all probably be the same) but I can't find a dr who would give me the results that I want. I swear that people think I am incapable of weighing out choices and whatever. I get it. you're older than me, you had yours done, you want what's best for me.

LET ME GET MY TITS DONE IN MOTHERFUCKING FLORIDA.

hf487
05-22-2012, 01:29 PM
I feel guilty when i cum on cam lol But sometimes it feels too good to fake! But i really do feel bad for some reason like i gotta save that for my man..... damn

LaurenAus
05-22-2012, 01:33 PM
lol Kaia at least ur a size six im almost a 10 one foot is larger than the other and my smaller toes curve inward it effing blows.

hf487
05-22-2012, 01:34 PM
My feet are hideous. Seriously. I only wear a size 6 but I think my toes make up most of that. I have 2 knuckles on each toe...not normal!!! My husband doesn't help matters eaither by flinching away every time they get close to him :( He's suppose to love every inch of me goddamn it!


Im the same way! Size 8 which is normal for me since im 5'7 my toes are super long, and i didnt know 2 knuckles wasnt normal but ive got 2 too ..... I know my feet are ugly but my mans a trooper he used to rub them for me after long shifts it was so sweet. He knows there ugly too im sure but never says anything : ) i was always insecure about them especially when i was younger ive learned to accept them lol Good luck! :D

gingerstripper
05-22-2012, 01:36 PM
i fucking totally agree with you.

Kisca
05-22-2012, 04:42 PM
deleted

gingerstripper
05-22-2012, 04:49 PM
yes he is the best! i got mine by jensen, hes pretty good, but revis is a boob god

Jessie_tinydancer
05-22-2012, 06:59 PM
I spent the most money ever on myself on a pair of shoes - Christian Louboutins for my 30th. Im kinda actually proud of myself for being greedy and frivolous for once. But I could do it guilt free because I have by far the most savings ever in my account. Happy Days!

Then my mom posted all these pics from home on her Facebook. They made me miss having a family. My husband dislikes his family - and I have to admit they are kinda weird. Im so happy I changed my life and left the small town and came here. I get to do so much stuff Id never have dreamt of, but when I see those pics I can't help but wonder what Ive missed out on by wishing for this big life. Small town life looks so simple and sweet. But then again maybe not...

GlitterBexie
05-22-2012, 07:25 PM
i just hacked my exes fb profile and i can not stop laughing at his message inbox. Sat here doubled up in fits giggling! hahahaaaaa what a douchebag!

luscious sadie
05-23-2012, 01:10 PM
okay picked my surgery date (October 17th) and just have to make the deposit and then it's finalized :D

spf
05-23-2012, 01:33 PM
i would die for a therapy sesh at the moment. My mom is so unsupportive and knocks anything I find self validating. Can't wait to move out so I can form my own opinions about myself!!!

My mom once told me she thinks stripping should be illegal.

tuesdaymarie
05-24-2012, 01:51 PM
I really want to apply at St. James, but am using the 45+ minute drive as an excuse to wait till I lose 5 pounds, or wait till I spend more time at a smaller time club, or wait till anything, even though I know I'll feel just as nervous about it in a month as I do today. Someone needs to kick my ass already, and it's probably me.

DesuvsDeath
05-24-2012, 03:07 PM
I feel like the way men treat me I'd just be happier going back to being a whore. At least if I'm going to get treated like one away I should get constant dick, right?

LaurenAus
05-24-2012, 03:34 PM
^ I've been dating for a little bit and if guys are gonna rid of you anyway or treat you like crap might as well get paid for it. I've actually considered the same thing.

Miss_McKenna
05-24-2012, 05:12 PM
I'm the kind of person that struggles even making toast, but I just made an Italian sausage pasta thing from scratch and it tastes fucking amazing, woot!

mediocrity
05-24-2012, 11:17 PM
deleted.

*Jade*Love
05-24-2012, 11:24 PM
^ Is it for scheduling purposes? That would kinda irritate me too :/

mediocrity
05-24-2012, 11:30 PM
deleted.

*Jade*Love
05-24-2012, 11:40 PM
Reasons a & b are understandable, I've texted with managers/dj's about coming in if there wasn't enough girls.... but even then, it was text only. Calling at random hours about personal problems? Fuck that noise. Sucks because he probably feels like he has to be nice about it too since corporate encourages it. Bitches, lol.

mediocrity
05-25-2012, 12:21 AM
deleted.

Su Su
05-25-2012, 02:23 AM
So I'm lazing off again, cancelled my shift for a night in with hot cups of drinks, chocolates, movies and leagues of legends :)

DesuvsDeath
05-25-2012, 04:17 AM
He should have a work phone...so he only deals with that while he's at work. And then maybe turn it on for an hour a few hours before each shift to call people in. But wtf, he's going way above and beyond what a GM should do.
It really depends on the club, tbh.
One of our managers here has 2-3 girls he actually picks up to bring to work because they "can't" afford cab rides..
It all depends on the club, ect, ect... but some clubs have this sort of super friendly atmosphere where everyone thinks they're bff's with the managers.

I'm not saying it's okay for girls to call their manager about shit that's not related to work... but at a lot of "small" clubs... there's a friendly atmosphere where people feel close to their managers... and since they have no one else to rely on for support... that's who they turn to.

mediocrity
05-25-2012, 04:58 AM
deleted.

DesuvsDeath
05-25-2012, 09:13 AM
I feel like it lets his work life bleed over into our home life.

The thing is though... that's what this industry DOES.
There's not really anything he can do about it but quit.

Su Su
05-25-2012, 09:36 AM
I was up almost all night on Efukt.

Susan-Va
05-25-2012, 10:35 AM
^^^^ I love that sight!

smeca
05-25-2012, 02:22 PM
I confess I really love this stuffed toy fox bf got me for my birthday. Like, too much by some 'normal' adult's standards. Pfft, smeca don't care.