View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
DesuvsDeath
05-25-2012, 02:39 PM
I took a date to my favorite bar on the off chance that my ex would show up.
He did.
And now suddenly he's all about texting me.
I win!
Spinnerette
05-26-2012, 03:45 PM
If there really isn't a point to all this, as I am so deeply convinced there isn't, then the fact that I care so much is contradictory. I have to remember this. I constantly forget and it puts me at odds.
_Avery_
05-26-2012, 08:58 PM
I was doing a search, and then came across this link:
and...it sounds way too familiar (even with me)....and especially with a lot of the things I read in certain threads on here.
It's probably not that big of a deal....but yeah, the shame sucks when I do "fall off the wagon" (which hasn't been that bad or much now!).
And...I use to LOVE going out to eat, and now, I do whatever I can to convince everyone to just eat at home...where I know exactly what I'm getting.
I dunno...just something I never heard of. I'm probably over analyzing things right now. My brain/mind won't stfu tonight.
DesuvsDeath
05-26-2012, 09:56 PM
^I don't think it's all that bad.
Yes, it's somewhat similar to your eating habbits... but you still give yourself treats/breaks ect without it being a huge deal.
*Jade*Love
05-26-2012, 11:16 PM
Lol @ 25-40 a night being a small club! Crazy how different the clubs are regionally...there's only one club I know of in SF that will top 40 girls, and that's your old stomping ground Med. the rest of the "big clubs" usually have 30-35 on the weekends, and when more than 35 girls regularly start showing up they fire girls/have a hiring freeze. These clubs are big and really impersonal. The small clubs here top out at 15-20 on the weekends, 6-12 during the week. A little more personal, but the managers are still dicks and the only way youre getting his number is if you're blowing or dealing to him.
God I hate this city. I wanna move to Seattle!
Wtf?! I work in a tiny club, it's literally the size of a fast food restaurant... and we barely ever have less than 40 girls working. Management just doesn't give a shit. The most I've worked with at once was 80. I don't even know how they all fit in the dressing room! Let alone in the building. 15-20 girls on a weekend shift sounds like a dream. Minus having to go on stage a million times.. I wish my club would at least cap the number of the girls at a decent number, work has been ridiculous lately :(
mediocrity
05-27-2012, 12:14 AM
Jade, BOTM, Desu? You guys come up and work at hub's club to balance out the crazy, Kthx.
THANK FUCK ITS HIS DAY OFF TOMORROW.
_natasha
05-27-2012, 02:53 AM
Just broke all my own rules and slept with someone on the first date... Oops. Yay for 10 week dry patch being over though.
Edit to say less a little less yay than I thought. Cystitis for my 3 hour final final exam is going to be a giant barrel of laughs.
strippername
05-27-2012, 07:34 AM
Not a confession a vent but not for stupid blues to see.
Some fucker who was hanging out with me and a friend a few weeks ago claimed to have had sex with me that night. My friend believes him. I never thought an accusation like that would bother me but it really does. I have had ENOUGH of jerk people. I feel so gross right now. He definitely tried, but I said something along the lines of "ewww! no!" when he tried to kiss me. I sound like a ten year old, but ugh...yuck! I need to get out of this industry so people can stop treating me like a whore. I don't carry myself like one, but guys seem to think they have a chance with me a little bit too much. Time to find a bridge.
Miss_McKenna
05-27-2012, 10:49 PM
Sometimes I think something is wrong with me, with how much time I spend alone. If I see a commercial or something online that I'd like to go to, I head off to it myself and it doesn't even occur to me to ask someone else if they want to come with. Tomorrow I'm going on vacation to DC for a week, for my birthday... by myself. And I think I'll be happier alone than with other people - I've always traveled alone. If I didn't have roommates, outside of work I'm pretty sure I could go weeks without talking to another person. I'm not sure that's normal
funkymamagia
05-28-2012, 01:42 AM
Just caught this thread. I don't dance anymore...that was a loooong time ago, 1980's I was a teenager working in Jersey. And I thought 6 girls working one club was a lot! We made an hourly wage @$17 per hour plus tips. Wow things have sure changed o.0!
papillonluvr
05-28-2012, 08:37 PM
I'm trying to makes friends with someone because a) the family is fun and b) I need a sitter for my daughter and she's very generous and will sit for a couple hours for free.
How horrible am I? Ugh sometimes I wonder at myself. But at least I am hanging out with her and her family and invite them over a lot and out and stuff. I'm not just using her. Bit that's part of the motivation...
CupCake
05-29-2012, 09:24 AM
I'm not sure how I feel when my boyfriend mentions marriage...I am not ready for something so life changing. I don't know that I will ever be ready for marriage. I'm afraid I can't keep up the commitment marriage takes (not because I'm a serial cheater or anything) but the fact that you are dedicating yourself to someone for the rest of your life is not a decision to take lightly. Being 23..next month 24 I just feel like I need to spread my wings more. Too bad I'm still working on my anxiety and panic attacks..ugh.
LaurenAus
05-29-2012, 09:33 AM
Cupcake I feel exactly the same way + the working on anxiety part.
sammii
05-29-2012, 07:53 PM
My boyfriends mom is fucking driving me up the wall. We need to move out ASAP. All day long "you guys should go on a walk. You never get sunshine. How come you guys don't hang out with other people? You should find some friends. You guys just sit around 24/7. Get some exercise." FUCK LEAVE ME ALONE AND FIND A BOYFRIEND. I've never known someone who fucking nags sooooo much. I just want to cam and watch Adventure Time with my boyfriend. When I move to California or Vegas (not decided yet), I'll be out all the time, but Arizona sucks and it's ghetto.
Oh, and she told me I should eat less. Thanks ... she's so sweet.
Jessie_tinydancer
05-29-2012, 09:07 PM
I really wish I could stop drinking at work... Its like I have an at-work alcohol problem. I don't have a problem not drinking any other time. Im very confident so I really don't need alcohol for that... its more that the customers are usually dumb and annoying so I want to drink or the opposite they are really fun so I end up drinking to be social. Im really gonna try tonight not to come home drunk because I gotta wake up and do stuff in the morning.
Kisca
05-29-2012, 11:00 PM
deleted
kaiarose
05-30-2012, 12:25 PM
Ooooh, one of the coolest Blues I've ever met may be coming back to see me in July!
CupCake
05-30-2012, 04:10 PM
sammii-Sorry to hear about the nagging, but block that sh*t out with the sweet sounds of fin's beat boxing!:P hehehehhe sorry I love adventure time too!
sammii
05-30-2012, 10:22 PM
It's easy to block her out when I'm watching it. It's like my own little world, lol.
"What time is it? Adventure Time!" Sorry, I couldn't resist. :D
_Avery_
05-31-2012, 03:09 PM
I feel really bad for this girl on my FB who just posted a pic of her makeup and it looks HORRIBLE!
It's very sad.
GlitterBexie
05-31-2012, 08:12 PM
i am having a sad moment, good job ive got the chihuahua to keep my spirits up, cause the so aint doing it anymore.
smeca
06-01-2012, 10:34 PM
too drunk to go to sleep just yet, havin a quiet little dance sesh to youtube downstairs on my own!
mediocrity
06-01-2012, 10:54 PM
Im sad I have to give my other doggie to my parents while Im travelling for work, since my boyfriend doesnt want to clean(pee-pads) after him. BUT the other gets to stay with him! Not fair, im going to miss them both. But the one thats attached to him more, is the one he wants to keep at our place, and the one thats attrached to me more he wants at my parents :(
You know you can train small dogs to a litterbox! That might be easier and a good compromise, unless the dog is old.
Su Su
06-02-2012, 01:42 PM
I confess stocky/built men makes my panties drop, funny how a few years back I thought opposite.
kaiarose
06-02-2012, 01:43 PM
^ You'd love my husband :P
Su Su
06-02-2012, 06:31 PM
^^ Mmm lucky lucky you!!
tuesdaymarie
06-02-2012, 11:40 PM
Lying in bed next to my SO with my 8 y/o cat curled against him and his 4 month kitten curled next to me. I want to wake him up just to tell him I love him one more time, but his back has been hurting him horribly, so I don't have the heart. I've never had someone be as good to me as he has. He's usually the one taking care of me, so it's good to make him mac and cheese and put on Star Wars.
anouk.oui
06-04-2012, 09:13 AM
i dont know why im in a funk or what i could do to fix it.... i just dont feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. strangely apart from going to work where i can drink and pretend to be someone else.
i love all my friends who have been trying to help and hug and it helped a lot..... but what i also think would help a lot would be a night of really hot passionate fucking with a sexy man who really wants me and will fuck me like he means it!
im not even on my rags i dont know why im so needy all of the sudden. i just feel all kinds of unwanted by everyone. so ive been in my room hiding. but id rather hide with a sexy naked man.
luscious sadie
06-04-2012, 12:17 PM
goddam I meet hot guys at the club sometimes :/
stupid boyfriend.
LaurenAus
06-04-2012, 12:36 PM
I confess I have not laid eyes on hoards of hot, sexy men in a very long time. Sensory deprivation.
luscious sadie
06-04-2012, 03:51 PM
just flash him.
The guy probably noticed the BA already and was insinuating you flash him anyway :-p
Natalllia
06-05-2012, 02:15 PM
I quit dancing for a little while, and went a little bananas with the junk food just because I could. Now I find myself heavier than I'd like, unable to afford a gym membership, and facing the very real possibility that I'll have to go back to dancing to get myself out of a financial hole. Ugh, why'd I get so fat?!?
A friend of mine swears it's not that bad, and that there are girls at her club that are bigger than I am and they don't even have the huge knockers to balance it out (bc really, big ole natural titties do afford you a little extra leeway in the "curvy" department in most men's eyes)... but I just don't FEEL sexy. It's gonna be hard to sell sexy confidence when I feel like a heifer. Oh well, I gotta do what I gotta do. Lose as much flab as I safely can before I have to go back to the club, and work on my self-esteem for the rest of it.
I hate the extent to which my feeling of self-worth is tied to my waistline.
smeca
06-05-2012, 03:08 PM
I love indulging my weird crushes when I'm home alone. Feel so taboo!
kaiarose
06-05-2012, 03:29 PM
True Blood starts on Sunday!! So ridiculously, wrongly excited about it <3
sammii
06-05-2012, 03:50 PM
I hate the extent to which my feeling of self-worth is tied to my waistline.
I know the feeling ...
GlitterBexie
06-05-2012, 06:49 PM
he had me fooled, shame on me for believing...
missjzone
06-05-2012, 08:29 PM
I confess I'm sick of all the pc shit. Listen honey calling you a fat ass isn't a hate crime
Anastasia Foxx
06-06-2012, 07:21 AM
I quit dancing for a little while, and went a little bananas with the junk food just because I could. Now I find myself heavier than I'd like, unable to afford a gym membership, and facing the very real possibility that I'll have to go back to dancing to get myself out of a financial hole. Ugh, why'd I get so fat?!?
A friend of mine swears it's not that bad, and that there are girls at her club that are bigger than I am and they don't even have the huge knockers to balance it out (bc really, big ole natural titties do afford you a little extra leeway in the "curvy" department in most men's eyes)... but I just don't FEEL sexy. It's gonna be hard to sell sexy confidence when I feel like a heifer. Oh well, I gotta do what I gotta do. Lose as much flab as I safely can before I have to go back to the club, and work on my self-esteem for the rest of it.
I hate the extent to which my feeling of self-worth is tied to my waistline.
I am going through the same exact thing! OMG! Although to be honest, I have started doing the BodyRock workouts, about 2 weeks ago and have already dropped like 5 pounds of the 15 I need to get rid of. They're free, you can find them on YouTube.
Kellydancer
06-07-2012, 12:35 AM
Ugh, sometimes the internet can be my worst enemy. Ok so I met this guy and found out his last name. I have been spending two hours Googling him and found all the search for a person sites. Anyway these two women keep coming up as relatives and I am praying they are sisters and not exwives. From what it looks like at least one of them is a sister and the other one is likely a blood relative too. I found her website and it sounds like she is married so it's probably not an exwife but still you never know. I'm worrying about nothing because we haven't even gone on a date and I'm not even sure he is interested. I am just terrified that I will like him and then find out he has an exwife (or more)and even worse has kids (though my mom's best friend is pretty sure he is childless). My mom's friend thinks he has never been married either but you never know.
I have already made the vow that if this isn't the one I am completely done looking for a mate.
*Jade*Love
06-08-2012, 01:28 PM
It's really hard to get over someone when you can only get off if you're thinking about him...
I'm such a destructive person. I hate it. I'm too scared to take risks, to get hurt, so instead I decide to hurt them first and push away anyone who gets close. I'm disgusted with myself right now.
sammii
06-08-2012, 06:27 PM
//laaaa.
_Avery_
06-09-2012, 01:45 PM
Going on a little vacation and DREADING it.
First of all, I'm just not comfortable around HIS grandpa in a tiny cabin.
Second, I know that I will eat more than I want.
I am down to 118lbs and have never felt better about myself.
I love hearing "omg, you're so tiny", "Omg, you look great!", "Wow, Jess, how'd you do it".. (and I realize how vain that sounds, but I like it... :/ )
and money has been easy to come by now.
ughh..HOWEVER, this little trip is going to fuck me up...breakfast, dinners..all at restaurants.
I'm kinda sad because I use to love that stuff..that use to be one of my favorite things to do, but now I'm getting horrible anxiety about it!!
I don't want to come back in 3 days all fat and gross again. I'm going to have to look like a complete weirdo...and risk being "made fun of" for ordering salads and...healthier stuff....
I know I'll want a big baked potato and prime rib, and all that delicious stuff, but I can't do it.
I've worked too hard to get where I'm at.
I really fucking don't want to go
4everresolutions
06-09-2012, 03:02 PM
Yeah, usually people who mock you for eating properly do it becasue they feel guilty about looking like a cow and eating like one too.
It's true.
I'd never tease someone for ordering healthy or choosing not to eat carb-heavy/sugar-heavy food. I'd admire their will power. Good for them!
And good for you Jess! Congrats on the weight loss.
charlie61
06-09-2012, 06:09 PM
Going on a little vacation and DREADING it.
First of all, I'm just not comfortable around HIS grandpa in a tiny cabin.
Second, I know that I will eat more than I want.
I am down to 118lbs and have never felt better about myself.
I love hearing "omg, you're so tiny", "Omg, you look great!", "Wow, Jess, how'd you do it".. (and I realize how vain that sounds, but I like it... :/ )
and money has been easy to come by now.
ughh..HOWEVER, this little trip is going to fuck me up...breakfast, dinners..all at restaurants.
I'm kinda sad because I use to love that stuff..that use to be one of my favorite things to do, but now I'm getting horrible anxiety about it!!
I don't want to come back in 3 days all fat and gross again. I'm going to have to look like a complete weirdo...and risk being "made fun of" for ordering salads and...healthier stuff....
I know I'll want a big baked potato and prime rib, and all that delicious stuff, but I can't do it.
I've worked too hard to get where I'm at.
I really fucking don't want to go
People just don't like that because it makes them self-conscious--they're faced with the realization that what they're doing to their bodies isn't good.
I'd recommend doing an Atkins-like approach for the three days (not good for long-term, but works for me to stave off weight gain for vacations and whatnot). Stay away from carbs (breads, sugars, etc.) and try to get stuff with protein (whether vegetarian, like eggs, or things like seafood / chicken).
sammii
06-09-2012, 08:42 PM
My SO is going to be out of rehab for alcoholism right when I'm turning 21 ... really sucks. He can't be around alcohol or anyone who drinks, so I guess we'll just stay at home and watch reality tv or something. I know I sound really selfish but I was really excited about our plans, and now it's going to suck.
I'd never tease someone for ordering healthy or choosing not to eat carb-heavy/sugar-heavy food. I'd admire their will power. Good for them!
And good for you Jess! Congrats on the weight loss.
This. They just want you to be as miserable as they are. My SO's mom is tiny but she eats super healthy and I really respect her for it. While the rest of us are ordering pasta, she's ordering a salad. I'm trying to eat more healthy, and I really commend people who make the lifestyle choice to be healthy.
Kat w
06-10-2012, 02:00 PM
When I'm in a certain kind of emotional funk it manifests itself as a physical pain in my chest, I'm experiencing it right now and it's just awful.
kortneykay
06-10-2012, 02:09 PM
I still want to leave my marriage and go back to being single. I love him, but I miss being alone. I want to get my own place, cam, and run my phone sex company. Alone. :(
luscious sadie
06-10-2012, 04:37 PM
BOTM, you should start using a bandana inbetween you and the guy when you dance. I know that it isn't a ~thing~ in the US but it is up here. That way, even if someone came in their pants it wouldn't really get on you at all :D
Jessie_tinydancer
06-10-2012, 06:37 PM
When I'm in a certain kind of emotional funk it manifests itself as a physical pain in my chest, I'm experiencing it right now and it's just awful.
That's an anxiety attack miss :( and it sucks. Mine used to be chest pain now I get a numb left arm...and respiratory distress... Fuuuuun :(