View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
strippername
08-01-2012, 04:28 PM
I feel like I am being very childish. I posted about my birthday last month and my boyfriend not knowing. I told him the day of. He still didn't do anything. His birthday is this weekend. I said I would go see him (four-five hours away) and want to buy him a pair of designer jeans he mentioned once. BUT, I keep getting angry that he didn't care about mine. I even told him that someone at work bought me cake and champagne. He didn't even care! It sucks that I can't get past it. I don't want to be forgotten on every holiday. Besides how unthoughtful he is I think he is amazing. :( Not right now though. I am a bit upset.
papillonluvr
08-04-2012, 06:31 AM
Damnit man, I want to fucking dance again. I could make absolutely no money every night and be happy. I just want to dance.
Ditto. Only, I'm in Japan on SOFA status. To my knowledge I can't dance legally, and even if I could, I'd have to go through my husband's commander, and then EVERYONE would know.
I miss stripping.... miss making lots of money and all the attention and just being free to be whoever I want for a night. It's like now I'm missing half my personality. It's weird.
MyButter
08-04-2012, 07:04 AM
^ Oh that sucks so much, papillionluvr! :( I'm sorry, thats got to be really hard for you.
anouk.oui
08-04-2012, 12:49 PM
totally lusting over this new guy is making me forget about how shit ive been feeling lately.
so now instead of obsessing about how fucking rude my housemate is and how my friends hate my and my life sucks i find myself really excited thinking about his oh so tasty looking lips and where on my body i would like them!
i want to fuck him so bad!
and i havent even found any dude attractive or hot to me lately its nuts that all of the sudden ive become so sexually charged. DAYUM
tuesdaymarie
08-05-2012, 06:13 PM
I got one of those bombshell bras from VS today. Hot pink with sequins. It makes my boobs look great and confirms the fact that I need to have boobs that look that big all the time. And then I'm gonna put those in a bombshell bra too, and walk around my apartment with nothing else on for the rest of my life.
ChefKitty
08-06-2012, 04:24 AM
I slept with a bouncer. A man-slut bouncer.
MyButter
08-06-2012, 06:50 AM
^Lol. Was it most excellent?
My husband seems really sad that i want to dance again. He says he will support me in anything i do, but he doesn't understand why i don't want to pursue something else, especially given that he is financially capable of supporting the household. So now im having a bit of an internal struggle, and it suxor!
ChefKitty
08-06-2012, 10:44 AM
It was bad.
anouk.oui
08-06-2012, 12:19 PM
i cant remember the last time someone other than my mother hugged me. as in not like a greeting hug when random acquintances come up to say hi.... but like a long comforting hug from a close friend or an everything gonna be fine im here type bear hug from a man.
i know reality is out there and i have to fight a battlefield of problems every day only to see more new ones bred causing me more heartbreak and anxiety and anger this last month more than ever, but i just for maybe 10 minutes wish to be held by a big strong man who i may be a bit attracted to, and be told everything will be fine. then go off to deal with my issues.
im sick of always being the big strong person and hugging and reassuring everyone. i need somewhere to hide and be nurtured.
honestly the things i had to deal with this year i need a big man shoulder to cry on. but in the meantime i guess ill settle for hiding in my room and eating my way up several dress sizes
Kellydancer
08-06-2012, 01:39 PM
I don't know if I want to confess this because I am always talking about men and it can get boring but I met someone and am scared. I met him in early June or late May through mutual friends and he's very shy. I was told to take time getting to know him because he will get scared so I am doing that. However last week we had a conversation that scares me. I asked him to dance at this one dance and he told me he wanted to but was afraid to approach me because I was sitting with people he didn't know. What scares me is that I am afraid he will tell people I was flirting with him and then laugh at me. This comes from school where I told a guy I liked him and he told everyone as he made fun. I have several school fears still from school and another one is every time I am in a crowded place I am afraid someone will put a sign on my back. Kids in school used to do this to me and 30 years later I still worry.
stripperchic
08-07-2012, 04:46 PM
Have to confess this.
Been banging on and excited about this dude for months. Over last few weeks we get closer he lets guard down. We bang. And stuff. He talks about his ex lets call her Lori. He, out of the blue, says I'm not for him. Stops messaging. Ignores me. After I made the rookie error of getting him gifts (cause I was better off in life than him) being used for lifts. Paying for everything. Food cinema the lot.
Being a little stumped and not getting a full excuse from him I decided to let go. Though closure is hard without a lot of reason being given to me when I was told I was the amazi g girl. Out of his league (which was true!) etc etc.
So mooching on FB I notice the girl Lori and I have 2 friends in common, him- and an old customer. I gets to talking with the old customer...who mentions Lori is is cousin.
He had been with Lori the whole time. She wasn't his ex she was his current a d he banged me for two weeks while professing to be a faithful angel that always gets his heart broken. So I fabricate a name and mention that Lori had been played as he was seeing my 'mate'.
The customer/ cousin is a good custy a nice guy and was a messenger between. Turns out Lori is a fucking amazing girl. She had doubts about him and was mainly gutted he had cheated on her with my 'mate' before she had the chance to do the dirty on the dude in the first place. She's currently on her way round to kick him....actual kick him....in the bollocks! I didn't wa t to hurt the girl however I was lead to believe he was single....she deserved to know.
She sounds so cool - apparently cheats on everyone (not that that makes her cool, her reactions in life make her cool) and has said she is keeping the names quiet as doesn't even give a damn about the boy and is gutted he cheated first. Her aim is to go get a lap dance from my 'friend'....and pull my 'friend' as payback to her cheating bastard now 'ex'.
Nothing like TWO women scorned. Men. Learn. :)
_Avery_
08-07-2012, 06:09 PM
...deleted...
papillonluvr
08-07-2012, 08:11 PM
Oh, Avery, that's terrible.
I could've written that when I was struggling with my ED. :'( I hope you're not getting one/don't have one.
I know you probably don't need to be told this, but Imma say it anyways: misusing laxatives can destroy your bowel system. Please dont. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
And I know you hear this a lot cause it's true and probably won't make a difference, but you're already very thin. You're beautiful. I don't see a belly on you, only a nice flat toned stomach. And your thighs are very small. And there's no way you'd break a scale. You're about to blow away in the wind already! :D
Hugs to you and Desu. Sounds like you both need it if those thoughts are/have been taking up residence in your head.
ChefKitty
08-07-2012, 08:31 PM
My disorder was planted in my head long before I figured out how to throw up successfully. Taking away the previously inescapable guilty feeling and I have yet to find a healthy alternative but, I can tell you that it will get better by becoming happy with your body.
Kellydancer
08-07-2012, 09:31 PM
Reading all these posts (btw Desu, Avery and Papillon I have seen your photos and you are all beautiful)makes me wonder how much is caused by dancing or do women with body issues get into dancing. I know when I was dancing I never felt thin enough so I would often overexercise. Unfortunately I have the type that builds muscles so sometimes I felt worse. Then you have the clubs that want bone thin and the customers who are mean if you aren't built that way and it causes it to be worse. I've suffered from eating disorders myself (to lose weight sometimes I threw up)and even now I know I appear to be much larger than I am.
mediocrity
08-07-2012, 10:13 PM
Everyone thinks I'm super tough and "strong" blah blah blah blah... but really, I have really bad separation anxiety every since my hubs got sick. I mean, he's all better and stuff now. But I get upset every time he goes to work (it's gotten a lot better), I don't go out without him (I feel like I literally CAN'T, like something awful will happen if he isn't with me), I hate not being around him. Luckily for me he loves having me close all the time (he initiates at least half of the closeness), talks to me all night on text while he's at work and stuff so I don't get lonely. He even takes naps with me on the couch, and if i'm awake and he's sleeping I sit quietly next to him in bed until he wakes up.
I'm such a huge baby. But I really do feel like something catastrophic will happen if I'm away from him.
papillonluvr
08-07-2012, 10:57 PM
Kellydancer, ive often wondered the same thing. As for me, I had it before dancing. My logic was "if I'm suffering this much to be skinny in getting paid for it!". Lmao
Kellydancer
08-08-2012, 12:13 AM
I did too, which is why I think I gravitated towards it. I do know when customers or clubs would reject me I would think it's because I was fat (which I wasn't except in my head)but many times it wasn't. Even today I can't stand to look at a mirror because I am so critical of myself. Forget that I have men wanting to date me and that I get men to buy me drinks in bars, I feel like a fat girl. I knew I had a problem when I would spend hours working out and the gym attendants would actually tell me to go home because I was there too long.
papillonluvr
08-08-2012, 02:00 AM
Everyone thinks I'm super tough and "strong" blah blah blah blah... but really, I have really bad separation anxiety every since my hubs got sick. I mean, he's all better and stuff now. But I get upset every time he goes to work (it's gotten a lot better), I don't go out without him (I feel like I literally CAN'T, like something awful will happen if he isn't with me), I hate not being around him. Luckily for me he loves having me close all the time (he initiates at least half of the closeness), talks to me all night on text while he's at work and stuff so I don't get lonely. He even takes naps with me on the couch, and if i'm awake and he's sleeping I sit quietly next to him in bed until he wakes up.
I'm such a huge baby. But I really do feel like something catastrophic will happen if I'm away from him.
Mediocrity, when I was younger, like 5 years old, my parents divorced and dad got custody. My mom dipped out on us for a year; I saw her twice during that time. Until I turned like 15 I was a nervous wreck unless I knew EXACTLY where my parents, especially my dad, was at all times. I was so scared of them leaving again. My relatives were really annoyed because I was always asking "where I'd my dad/mom?".
I feel you on feeling like something bad will happen. Hopefully you'll "get over it" sooner rather than later. Took me almost 10 years. Even now, if I don't know where My husband is or where my daughter is I get a twinge of nervousness.
ChefKitty
08-08-2012, 02:13 PM
See, I know this scenario, I've been through it more than once, and the fact that I had those thoughts in my head showed me that I was coming to the end of my at-that-time relationship. Had I not gone for it id probably still be living with said boyfriend and missing out on a LOT of life experiences. The temptation guys usually turn out not worth it for me, but they played a big part in me getting off my ass and making difficult changes to my situation.
Jessie_tinydancer
08-08-2012, 03:17 PM
^If I left my husband for every person I had a dream about Id be with 1000s of people by now. I dont put much stock in my dreams. If I did Id also be able to fly by now and have died in several tsunamis. Oh and Ive had that kinda dream about Brad Pitt. Maybe I shoulda acted on that one. haha
ChefKitty
08-08-2012, 06:01 PM
Not at all what I'm saying. Read my post again, I didn't say to leave her man for her classmate. In fact, if anything, I implied the classmate probs isn't worth it.
anouk.oui
08-09-2012, 02:52 AM
ugh honestly my housemates band is so lame.
they just posted some lyrics online and they think its so deep and meaningful and theyre gonna change the world n shit.... none of it makes sense basically and the message of the song is money makes children go to war and doing what youre told means you sell your soul to capitalism. oh. my gaaawd. im sure it wasnt hard for him to convince the rest of the unemployed drug addicts in his band to write a song about money not mattering and the people who hold down jobs and support the economy are inevitably sending everyone including themselves to hell.
i wrote a song in reply.... it can even be a rap!
go back to school you fucking tool
get a job and stop mooching off me
shut the fuck up your band sucks
BAM
i wonder why i not famous yet....
oh well enough ranting time to go back to sewing stripper dresses =]
black metallic snake skin & red mesh lace <3
Jessie_tinydancer
08-09-2012, 10:27 AM
I think I might be burnt out :( I know for me it only usually lasts a little while but I tend to go into self destruct mode when it does. Im not the person I become during burn out but yet I feel like thats who people think I am 24/7. I wanna scream at them "fuck you! Ive worked my ass off my whole life. I study 40+ hours a week, balance a husband (which is a full time job in itself) and I always have 3 friends asking me for something and the gym and my dogs and the list goes on and on. Sometimes I wish I could just be alone for 3 days.
anouk.oui
08-11-2012, 01:41 AM
i totally got to fuck that real sexy dude last night i had my eye on [and went out clubbing alone the week before to plant the seed that im HOT lol]
and DAYUM it was hot! like omg my vagina is still sore and it was last night!
he left his necklace thing on my bedside so im hoping i can use that to con him into coming and over and accidentally tripping and falling penis first into my vagina again!
also new record... hes 10 years older than me.
maybe i should just stick to fucking older guys who know what theyre doing
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Miss_McKenna
08-12-2012, 08:44 AM
+1 for older guys! If I meet a guy and find out they're my age, I treat it like I would if I found out they were 15. It's like "aww honey *laughs* you're not old enough". Older men who have a clue in the bedroom only, thank ya!
anouk.oui
08-12-2012, 11:50 AM
^amen to that sister!
lol or even when theyre like a year older than you and they reckon theyre so suave.
he could keep going for hours, knew exactly how to touch me and didnt whinge about condoms. ten points!
what kinda sucks though is that i havent had any for a month before him and i was kinda getting used to it and didnt really care for sex.... which is probably not a good thing..... and now that i just got some thats ALL i can think about. DAMMIT this happens to me everytime i dont get it regularly! so heres to hoping im not gonna spend the next 3 weeks horny as fuck then start to get over it and forget about the whole thing and then have really hot sex all over again to get me all horny all over again!
does any of this even make sense? i know its a trivial issue but id like to get past it..... preferably by having lots of sex as opposed to not having it for months....
anouk.oui
08-13-2012, 10:25 AM
oh god im a fuckup.
why couldnt i just be satisfied with the hot man and the great sex??
but oh noo i had to read his awesome and intimidating blog about the local art/fashion/music/film scene full of personality and colour and photos and videos and witty writing. now im intrigued and want to know more.
prepare for more anouk saga my beautiful followers. i really hope i can just forget about all this and fuck him and leave it at that.
dammitdammitdammit!
see this is the problem when you hook up with artsy types. thats how the whole fuckdoll thing started this year. i had sex with him and thats all i wanted and somehow got sucked into being a fan of his music and life. i wish i was into regular douchey type guys completely devoid of everything i find exciting and stimulating personality wise. i fucked one of those once and never had the temptation to get suckered into his carpenter-surfer-partygoer-pillpopper boring demeanor.
Vyanka
08-13-2012, 06:58 PM
Omg this is bad. I can never get the stripper out of me for a minute and be a normal girl. I look at everything as a hustle or potential customer. Lol. Right now I'm annoyed I didn't bring business cards at this place I'm eating at now. Why the fuck can't I live out of the stripper world for a minute??? I'm taking a day off work to meet men with my gf and I'm thinking of hustling them. Aaaaahhhhhh. Make it stop.
Vyanka
08-13-2012, 07:00 PM
I want to meet my future husband/baby daddy...
Jessie_tinydancer
08-14-2012, 04:11 PM
^ awww thats awesome. See sometimes guys really do listen! I was being silly - I meant actually fly as in me flying not in a plane. I pretty much fall asleep within the 1st 3 mins of being in any moving vehicle so never been scared of flying. Im not scared of dying in an accident (only of illness) so it doesnt really bother me. Im atheist so if I crash and die I figure I wont even know, so who cares. C'est la vie.
strippername
08-17-2012, 01:43 AM
I was just being a moron and dicking around on the fabulous internet. I had a look at my boyfriend's ex-wifes myspace. I had a panic attack! I am prettier. :D
anouk.oui
08-17-2012, 01:51 AM
i hate how we have couches now. everyone in the house stayed in their rooms or hung in the kitchen before and the living room was empty.
now theres couches and the house is becoming very clique-y. plus my room is right next door so i get to listen to partying and loud tv.
when i move out im adopting more cats fo sho
strippername
08-17-2012, 01:55 AM
^That happens in most shared apartments. You should probably get out, be nice and stop whining about. Don't make your time there miserable.
anouk.oui
08-17-2012, 02:16 AM
lol i only whine on here at home i just tend to keep to myself
i wanna live alone but financially its currently not an option. planning on it though.
strippername
08-17-2012, 02:34 AM
^A good place to do it! That really makes it ok. I was under the impression you mope'd around and bitched all day. I mean that in a less bitchy tone that it is reading, I promise.
anouk.oui
08-17-2012, 02:51 AM
yeah i know. the only reason i constantly complain here is coz i wanna keep it off fb or my life. its all the things i wanna say anonymously to a group of people in cyberspace im unlikely to meet. lol.
IRL i only bitch to like my bffs or if somethings really bothering me. otherwise i like to stay out of drama. i always somehow get dragged into it though and it sucks :\
oh god they just came home and all the stereos are already on..... so glad im leaving for work in an hour
_Avery_
08-17-2012, 11:25 AM
blah, venting
Anastasia Foxx
08-17-2012, 11:30 AM
OMG. SO mad at myself! I love food, and I love to eat. But I'm lazy as fuck and I don't know why!
Time to kick myself in the ass and start getting back into shape!
Anastasia Foxx
08-17-2012, 11:35 AM
OMG. SO mad at myself! I love food, and I love to eat. But I'm lazy as fuck and I don't know why!
Time to kick myself in the ass and start getting back into shape!
ETA: I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS GETTING IRRITATING! EVERY SINGLE TIME I POST SOMETHING - WHETHER IT'S BEEN AN HOUR OR A F$*(# WEEK, I GET THAT STUPID "YOU CAN'T POST MORE THAN TWICE IN 30 SECONDS" PROMPT! AND THEN EVERYTHING I POST IS DOUBLE POSTED! I'VE OPENED A TICKET AND NOTHING HAS HAPPENED!
_Avery_
08-17-2012, 03:38 PM
^^Yeah, it's really not even that much fun posting on here anymore with all the bugs/glitches.
glitzy
08-17-2012, 09:15 PM
i got laid for the first time since breaking off my 2 year relationship. i've been a prude and not interested in dating or fucking anyone because i was still sad but OMG it was so hot! i never have good one night stand sex either. there is hope for my dormant sluttiness! lol
annoyed as i was by all my friends telling me to fuck someone else to move on over and over again while i moped around, they were totally right...
Anastasia Foxx
08-18-2012, 07:28 AM
^^Yeah, it's really not even that much fun posting on here anymore with all the bugs/glitches.
I know. It just drives me crazy. Sorry I was yelling. Not enough coffee, too many fat burners LOL
LaurenAus
08-19-2012, 09:31 AM
So I messaged this traveling motivational speaker over facebook complimenting his work, and asked if he'll ever come out to Cali again and if so that we should get drinks if his schedule permits. He addressed the compliments and "politely" ignored everything else. Sometimes I forget especially because of the industry I'm working in, that maybe not every guy out there is a sleazeball who would happily accept advances over facebook. Blah :/
anouk.oui
08-19-2012, 11:56 AM
i dont know why i always get dragged into drama. i must have somekinda magnet on me or something.
at least i finished my 5th night this week! and for me thats like a lot. really looking forward to having an all day bubble bath =]
.....and think about why that douche still didnt call me back. if it was just a one night i get it but you still say something like 'it was nice to see you thanks for the great night' right?
im expecting too much. the wakeup call has arrived. i need a REAL man. like a MAN man, man!
smeca
08-19-2012, 02:20 PM
I feel kind of bad that I got irked by my friend when we got together recently. She seems to have put on weight since we last saw each other, and she's always been wanting to lose some anyway... but she seems to make hardly any effort to lose it and get fit. I see it can be hard to stay motivated but she does everything soo slowly- says walking up this hill is really tiring but seems to slow down so much that it's not work anymore, even eating slowly which I think makes it harder to lose weight because the metabolism is so slow (no expert, not sure if that's how it works?)... Then she had so many fizzy drinks for refreshement instead of water or flavoured water or something and, being vegetarian, replacing the meat part of a meal with another carb choice, though she doesn't even seem to eat much anyway...
And I just thought 'what's the point' when she said she had borrowed the Insanity workout dvd from someone, but is doing it at 'her own pace' at home. From the promo vid I saw that workout is meant to kill you with max effort every time, there is no middle ground there!
I don't know, she might not eat and drink like that all the time, I don't know how much she is pushing herself while exercising but I was just annoyed by how little she seemed to be doing. I suppose I'm worried and upset seeing how unfit and unhealthy she is. It is hard to workout well without a gym, I know I hate running outside and my motivation is so much better in the gym, so when she gets a decent wage things might change.
Kisca
08-20-2012, 01:16 AM
Rabbling /vent
mediocrity
08-20-2012, 01:52 AM
So at a recent wedding, out of all the couples we know, my boyfriend and I were guessed to be the next ones to get married.
And all of the girls that we know in their mid-late 20s whom arent married or dont have kids are already non-stop annoying their bfs for either...
If Im not engaged by age 25, then I dont see a point... At least there is SOME talk about the ring and wedding prices....
It really sucks how our parents, their friends and our friends already make jokes and remarks on marriage... I dont even know how to react on that!
Kisca, I know in your family it's mostly cultural. But really, babe- it's better to wait for the right time and the right one. I was married at 19 and divorced at 24 to the wrong guy. It sucked. At 27 I met and married my current husband and couldn't be happier. Tell them to fuck off and it isn't a race.
Dorien
08-20-2012, 07:46 PM
Never been on this thread. Since none of my friends or man IRL dont' understand, I'll just write it here.
I've been pole dancing for a long time & but doing aerial classes/performances off & on for 3 years. I had an audition set up for this Sunday. It was a for a recital at a studio for a solo spot. Only 5 were avail, one for each level (of class), me being in the advanced level. The owner said she wanted perfection & the more tricks the better for advanced students to be considered. I was ready to meet her standards. I was on fire for ideas!
Two weeks ago while dancing on stage, I got into crazy dancing and my left knee kind of tweaked. Took a few days off, got better. Last week, worked 2 days in a row, sort of happened again, not as bad. Last Monday, cardio & intense stretching during the day, 2 classes in a row that night. Pretty tired & sore. Last Tuesday, running errands in 3in heels. Knees started burning!! Never. Had. This. Happen. Ever. Continued the next day. Last Thursday, fine. I rent the studio for an hour to practice. Next day fine, spend entire day in beach city w/ bbf. At the end of Friday knees hurting. Last Saturday, very sore. Worked yesterday, had to ice an hour when I got home. Saw doc today. She says it's up to me what I want to do about class and audition. She referred me to a sports therapy clinic.
I'm not stupid, I canceled my audition & classes for a week. I know it's right, but I'm really sad right now. This is the 1st time in months that I haven't worked out to some extent every day. I'm being lazy and watching the Australian series "Satisfaction" on Netflix. Everything is making me emotional and I am usually fairly rational, but happy emotional, not sad.
I suppose risking possible surgery or even worse is really not worth popping the perfect trick:-( Feel weird about being lazy. I guess it's ok now and then.
Kellydancer
08-20-2012, 09:28 PM
I had a meeting tonight and the guy I am interested in attended. I got so wet thinking of him going down on me that I couldn't even concentrate on the meeting.