View Full Version : how long till you fuck a guy you like?
Kellydancer
04-25-2010, 02:08 PM
^Surely someone's desire for kids or not has nothing to do with another person being "good enough", but more just the lack of want for children.
I think the children issue really only pertains in the case of someone having sex in a relationship versus just sex. Right now there is a guy I like who may or may not ever get over his issues. I could definitely see myself having children with him eventually in a marriage. However right now (forever? who knows) he doesn't want marriage or children, though he once did. On the other hand there's another guy I am considering having a FWB situation with but I definitely don't want kids with him. He'd only be a fling (no intercourse) at at 25 he's definitely not thinking kids (I wasn't either then).
Having said that, while dating the issue of children is big for me. I think I would like to have kids, but know at my age (39) my days of childbearing aren't many more years (maybe 5-10). Because of this, I do ask potential dates about it because I don't want to waste my time with a guy who'd a definite no. I mentioned this earlier, but I do ask guys what they'd prefer in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. The guy I like has said marriage was the option (we aren't sleeping together).
wanderlust08
04-25-2010, 04:03 PM
is it just me or is it DAMN HARD to not want to sleep with a guy you really, really, really like?
i have a hard time communicating my feelings to people so sex is literally how i express my feelings with my sig. others. (if i like you right now i want to bang you, if i'm mad at you don't touch me.)
Zinaida
04-25-2010, 04:33 PM
is it just me or is it DAMN HARD to not want to sleep with a guy you really, really, really like?
Agreed. But for me it is hard to really really really like a guy.
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 06:13 PM
+1...it's why i am always single. i mean i used to sleep around a lot to take care of the lack of sex. but now i'm just gonna take care of myself. and can i just say i get so sick of the question, "i don't get it how are you single?" if i knew then i probably wouldn't be single, but i also know it's a combination of sabotaging potential relationships because of trust-issues and being picky as hell. i get bored of a guy within like two weeks.
Zinaida
04-25-2010, 07:07 PM
I don't get bored easily, it's just that....where are all the decent guys???
As far as getting sick of that question; 'how are you single? you could get any guy you want! blah blah blah' I feel ya. Guys don't seem to understand that when you're an attractive female you may attract a ton of guys, but it's usually the wrong type of guys...
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 07:16 PM
^exactly!! i never seem to attract the guys i'd actually be interested in. currently i've attracted a creepy stalker who will not stop asking me out. i've officially given up dating. and when i say i get bored, i mean more that i realize they're not so decent and boring.
Zinaida
04-25-2010, 07:44 PM
Yeah I have given up too.
Kellydancer
04-25-2010, 08:11 PM
I don't get bored easily, it's just that....where are all the decent guys???
As far as getting sick of that question; 'how are you single? you could get any guy you want! blah blah blah' I feel ya. Guys don't seem to understand that when you're an attractive female you may attract a ton of guys, but it's usually the wrong type of guys...
I get this all the time. People assume because I am attractive I must have every guy after me. Sure, I attract guys, I attract the ones I don't want. Where are the decent guys, I'd like to know too. Try finding a never married guy without kids at 39, guys who want more than sex and actually want a relationship and it gets very hard. If someone else tells me to "lower my standards" I will scream. So basically, I'm supposed to find a guy with kids though I don't want that? I don't want the drama of stepfamilies or psycho exwives. And when I say part of the reason is religious, people laugh at me and call me stupid for not taking anyone. So my options are to wait for the one I like and hope he gets over his issues, date guys with kids, or hope a guy who's exactly what I want comes around. I know there are guys exactly what I want, I just don't know where they are.
I hate this.
Zinaida
04-25-2010, 08:43 PM
I hate men.
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 08:52 PM
exactly! or people tell me i'm being too shallow. so you're telling me i'm so hot how can i not find a guy but i should settle for someone i'm not attracted to? isn't strange how hot women can't find a good man. wtf. i hate men too. this is why i'm giving up.
I hate men.
but we love their money! :D
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 09:02 PM
True that!
isn't strange how hot women can't find a good man. wtf. i hate men too. this is why i'm giving up.
Don't give up! Just use 'em for what you can (money, gifts, ways to better your life) So if I meet a guy, I immediately start thinking how can this guy help me and/or make my life better? Whether it's a job opportunity, taking me out, using him to get to his contacts, I mean whatever, I'm in a constant mindset of what's the most I can get out of this. I mean hell, if I meet a guy who is a farmer I'll try to get him to hook me up with free vegetables, you get the idea... I make any man work to my advantage somehow, but while remaining completely emotionally unavailable, (which in turn usually makes them pursue me even more aggressively) independent, and never emotionally relying on them for happiness. Looking at my bank statement gives me lots of emotional happiness. I stay distant and focused on my goals. My two dogs give me more love and emotional satisfaction than a man ever could.
I have in my head the ideal guy, and I am holding out for him. I will not settle for anybody else. When he comes along, I will pursue him. And when I see something I want, I always get it. ;)
Kellydancer
04-25-2010, 09:21 PM
exactly! or people tell me i'm being too shallow. so you're telling me i'm so hot how can i not find a guy but i should settle for someone i'm not attracted to? isn't strange how hot women can't find a good man. wtf. i hate men too. this is why i'm giving up.
Yeah, why are the best looking women unable to find decent guys or what we want? I was once set up on a blind date with an obese guy and because I wasn't attracted to him, my friend said I was being superficial. Sure, it's enjoyable seeing people wonder why I am sitting at dinner with a 400 pound guy who was a slob. I'm not really a shallow person, because otherwise I'd only date hot guys. The one guy I like is far from hot (he's actually somewhat homely) but I'm shallow? Yet if you lurk on dating sites (I have several free profiles just to lurk) you see the strangest looking guys wanting hot girls but they bring nothing to the table. I get it, everyone wants love, but honestly if you are 400 pounds, unemployed, or with kids you probably won't get someone like me. Yet when I've mentioned guys being picky on these sites, I get comments like "he's stating what he wants". Why is it different for women to have standards than men? In fact it's the opposite because there are far more single men than there are women so they should be the ones being picky, not us.
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 09:43 PM
Don't give up! Just use 'em for what you can (money, gifts, ways to better your life) So if I meet a guy, I immediately start thinking how can this guy help me and/or make my life better? Whether it's a job opportunity, taking me out, using him to get to his contacts, I mean whatever, I'm in a constant mindset of what's the most I can get out of this. I mean hell, if I meet a guy who is a farmer I'll try to get him to hook me up with free vegetables, you get the idea... I make any man work to my advantage somehow, but while remaining completely emotionally unavailable, (which in turn usually makes them pursue me even more aggressively) independent, and never emotionally relying on them for happiness. Looking at my bank statement gives me lots of emotional happiness. I stay distant and focused on my goals. My two dogs give me more love and emotional satisfaction than a man ever could.
I have in my head the ideal guy, and I am holding out for him. I will not settle for anybody else. When he comes along, I will pursue him. And when I see something I want, I always get it. ;)
I have a guy that I could totally do this with only he's creepy and stalkerish, so I'm not gonna go there. But if another guy crosses my way, I'm gonna gonna follow in your footsteps J.D.
Kellydancer
04-25-2010, 09:50 PM
I think JD has the right idea.
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 10:06 PM
J.D. teach me oh wise one ;)
wanderlust08
04-26-2010, 02:41 AM
ladies don't give up quite yet. i had pretty much given up when i met my boyfriend.
and it's literally like i wrote down every quality i ever wanted in a man and bam! silver platter, amazing boyfriend.
you just have to kiss a lot of frogs i guess.
Athenathefabulous
04-26-2010, 04:06 AM
Don't give up! Just use 'em for what you can (money, gifts, ways to better your life) So if I meet a guy, I immediately start thinking how can this guy help me and/or make my life better? Whether it's a job opportunity, taking me out, using him to get to his contacts, I mean whatever, I'm in a constant mindset of what's the most I can get out of this. I mean hell, if I meet a guy who is a farmer I'll try to get him to hook me up with free vegetables, you get the idea... I make any man work to my advantage somehow, but while remaining completely emotionally unavailable, (which in turn usually makes them pursue me even more aggressively) independent, and never emotionally relying on them for happiness. Looking at my bank statement gives me lots of emotional happiness. I stay distant and focused on my goals. My two dogs give me more love and emotional satisfaction than a man ever could.
I have in my head the ideal guy, and I am holding out for him. I will not settle for anybody else. When he comes along, I will pursue him. And when I see something I want, I always get it. ;)
This. The guy i was talking about in this post (who is now the guy i am currently seeing) came along and he is pretty much my ideal guy. Like literally perfect across the board (by my standards) on everything except for one issue.
sxcbbw
04-28-2010, 07:54 AM
But frogs are gross, wanderlust! THEY HAVE COOTIES. *whines* I hate frogs.
Ironically, the most amazing perfect omg man I have ever met? Really identifies with frogs and toads. Go. Figure.
asianlady
05-01-2010, 09:45 AM
me if I like a guy I will have sex with him right away, why wait?I am an adult and don't care what people think did my good girl time now its me time and time for some fun