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rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 12:41 PM
really thatguy and sam? dancers always ask those questions? i never do. i have never once asked their marital status, age or really try to avoid asking what they do for a living (i really try to avoid the question because i've always figured they're there to forget about those things, but when i do i quickly turn it around and lead into it another question for ego-stroking ;) )

those questions that were mentioned about dancers asking that are what i've been asked constantly. i'm assuming those dancers, imo, that are talking about their kids or personal lives are not the greatest of hustlers. i don't have kids or an so but if i did i sure wouldn't talk about my kids itc. in fact i've had quite a few custies tell me about their daughters, even had one that told i looked exactly like his daughter, showed me a pictures (i did look a lot like her) and everything and proceeded to say it would be weird to get a dance from me for that reason...then he got multiple dancers from me and was really into it....i've blocked out the details of what he did and said from the dance cause it creeped me out so much. i guess i just figured it was one of those american beauty things, fantasy about having an affair with his daughter's friend. that's what i'm hoping at least.

it was fucking creepy.

rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 12:48 PM
Hey WestCoast, ever heard of HERPES- Yuck! I can guarentee your arent the only paying man getting that extra

:rotfl:

Sam Pepys
04-25-2010, 02:10 PM
Creepy story about the father, rubyred.

I was kind of a regular of a dancer who looked like a former young employee, which kind of creeped me out when she was going through some of her routines and I would notice the resemblance. The employee and I were close and remain friends today, but we had a purely professional relationship and I never had any kind of fantasies about her. Really the SC relationship with the dancer developed for despite the resemblance.

rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 02:57 PM
well at least it was an employee and not a daughter. employer and employee relationships aren't so far fetched or creepy imo.

WestCoast101
04-25-2010, 07:33 PM
Extras? never heard of em. Always a complete gentleman in clubs.

Jessie_tinydancer
04-26-2010, 06:28 AM
really thatguy and sam? dancers always ask those questions? i never do. i have never once asked their marital status, age or really try to avoid asking what they do for a living (i really try to avoid the question because i've always figured they're there to forget about those things, but when i do i quickly turn it around and lead into it another question for ego-stroking ;) )

those questions that were mentioned about dancers asking that are what i've been asked constantly. i'm assuming those dancers, imo, that are talking about their kids or personal lives are not the greatest of hustlers. i don't have kids or an so but if i did i sure wouldn't talk about my kids itc. in fact i've had quite a few custies tell me about their daughters, even had one that told i looked exactly like his daughter, showed me a pictures (i did look a lot like her) and everything and proceeded to say it would be weird to get a dance from me for that reason...then he got multiple dancers from me and was really into it....i've blocked out the details of what he did and said from the dance cause it creeped me out so much. i guess i just figured it was one of those american beauty things, fantasy about having an affair with his daughter's friend. that's what i'm hoping at least.

it was fucking creepy.

That is fucking revolting! WTF?!!!

That being said I once danced for a guy that looked like my Dad... ewwwww!

shaina
04-26-2010, 07:35 AM
Omg I hate this. Mind your own business fellas. I was camming the other day and some dude kept asking me a zillion times if I had a bf and about my bf so I asked: 'Are you gay?" and of course he was like, no, why? And I was like: 'Well, you're obviously obsessed with men.' I mean, they're talking to a chick yet all these guys do is spend the time asking about our significant others/men. Gay? heehee

Haha. I love that.

the truth
05-04-2010, 09:03 AM
I have a few questions for the guys.
1. Why do guys ask if the dancer is married or has a boyfriend?

2. If she says yes does it make you stop spending money on her?

I think 90% of dancers are involved with someone and about 40% have families. So I dont understand why the question is asked so much. Sometimes I say I am married and the customer stops spending money.:O

Most guys don't really care. They are just making small talk. If he stops spending money after hearing you are in a relationship he probably figures won't get to go as far as he would like so he gives up right then.

ilbbaicnl
07-03-2010, 05:45 PM
The problem with lying and conceling information is that some dancers will rat on other dancers in order to steal their customers.

I think the dancers who do best are the ones who say they are bi, have had lots of trouble with men, and now have a girlfriend. Dancers can really work this, they can back guys off saying they are committed to somebody, but hint around about a possible threesome.

I get very fond of dancers quickly, so I don't mind listening when they need a ear to bend. But I don't have a burning desire to know all their personal shit if they'd rather keep it to themselves.

I try to go to the club when it's busy, to minimize those "I think I'm supposed to talk to you, but I don't really want to tell you shit" moments.

wanderlust08
07-03-2010, 05:51 PM
I'm going to start telling them I'm in a polyamorous relationship and watch their reactions. Because it's kinda sorta not lying... Mono/poly but that's getting technical.

http://bennymc.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/monopoly1.jpg

I'm sorry, I just had to. It just came to me.

Harleigh HellKat
07-03-2010, 09:01 PM
Hahahaha too funny.

About other dancers ratting you out... this does happen. This is why it's best not to blab random info in the dressing room.

Anthill
07-07-2010, 10:30 AM
I've never asked that. Most people are stupid and have nothing more interesting to ask or talk about(or think they can get cash-free OTC action).

bambiblue
07-07-2010, 10:31 PM
Maybe I'm too much of a newbie, but I just tell the truth and say I'm single. I don't believe in saying no when a guy asks me out so I've gone out with a few customers. They've been pretty nice for the most part, generally nicer than guys I meet in bars. The only time it got weird was when I found out that three of them were roommates and go to the same school I go to.

It's kind of a weird morning when you go to the bathroom and run into a guy you dated two nights ago and a guy you dated last weekend.



ummmm...no comment ::)::)

ilbbaicnl
07-10-2010, 06:05 PM
I don't ask.
One of my faves eventually revealed to me she's a lesbian. I've seen her in action too.;) We compare notes on girls in the club.

Yea the lesbian and bi dancers are the best. I remeber when I first started going to SCs, I was sitting with one dancer, when another really hot dancer walked by. I was straining not to look, so as not to be rude, when the girl I was sitting with yelled "look at the cans on her!".

Miniman
07-23-2010, 08:44 PM
I have a few questions for the guys.
1. Why do guys ask if the dancer is married or has a boyfriend?

Because they are knobs. And they are looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place.

I never ask that question. Ever. Because it implies I am looking for something. And it suggests I have something for sale, and worse yet, that you expect the dancer has something for sale (other than a dance). To ask that question is totally tasteless and without class.

Having said that, I had my favourite dancer. I spent a lot of time with her, and a lot of money (all inside the club) and her boyfriend (who worked in the club and who I should have realized was her boyfriend) was somewhat suspicious of my fixation with my favourite dancer. In that context, perhaps the question would be warranted. But as a customer, it would never be a question that should be asked at any point.

jennsweet
07-24-2010, 07:38 AM
its important to be classy in a stripclub too. bc we as strippers are looking for that.... not just the money.

~wink~

rickdugan
07-24-2010, 08:06 AM
Over half of all dancers that I chat with ask the marriage and kids questions. I have no problem answering and I actually believe that many prefer that I am married with kids.

When (and only when) I am asked, I also ask in turn. With respect to the dancers, the kids and marital status info. are good barometers for certain performance and potential OTC matters.

I can understand how these questions would upset some, but in some of the local (low hustle) clubs I frequent you can't really avoid this stuff - the guys simply like to know a little something about the dancer before they spend on her.

classyguy
07-25-2010, 08:53 PM
I'm not young, but I'm really new to this scene - so take that into account when evaluating my comment. It seems that a lot of guys on tuscl have become somewhat hardened and rather cynical. Judging from some of the posts on here, it seems that a lot of dancers have too. Maybe I'll get there someday, but I hope not.

Shouldn't you at least consider the possibility that a man might ask some personal questions because he is genuinely interested in getting to know you as a whole person. I've had my best experiences, and spent the most money, with girls that I've felt have been honest with me, that I like, and that seem to be interested in me too. I've also had great dances from more beautiful ladies, with better bodies, with great moves - but because they don't want to open up with me - its not the same - and one or two dances is usually enough (if they're a perfect 10, I might splurge on a third).

Its probably dangerous to be too open with the wrong guys. And maybe its true that 95% of your customers have unspoken motives behind these questions (maybe I do too - an OTC relationship with a beautiful dancer is a fantasy that I probably wouldn't say no to either). All I'm suggesting is that it might be OK to trust your instincts and not be too quick to take offense when a customer asks you some personal questions.

she sells sanctuary
07-27-2010, 04:56 PM
^ fair point.

i can honestly tell the difference pretty quickly between the guys who are playing stupid games to waste my time and the guys who are just friendly and like to feel like they've gotten acquainted with a girl before they hand over a hundred bucks for a few minutes of her being nekkid.

but i'm a talker. i like to chat with custies for a couple minutes before dancing anyways. so i have even more incentive than just cash to notice the difference. i try to make as much of my money as possible from men who are actually enjoyable to be around.

the simple fact is that for every guy who wants to socialize first for a bit, there are about 5 guys (depending on the type of club and where it's located) who are just being difficult. and of those, only about half even have a "right answer", and the other half are just time wasters.

johnnytwoshoes
07-27-2010, 06:38 PM
It's part of the fantasy you are selling. If they ask it's because it helps sell the fantasy. How you answer is of course up to you. But guys ask for a reason. If you tell them you are married, etc., the fantasy becomes much less appealing. It is as simple as that. How you chose to answer is your choice. But if you are in this business to make money, your job is to sell the fantasy. Then the answer becomes obvious.....

sadbuttrue
07-27-2010, 06:41 PM
Actually I often ask for a phone number. It's so I can try to be sure of a girl being there at the club. I usually get an answer and oddly enough don't call half of them, because lately I've been picky and something turned me off in hindsight. Strangely enough, they often will give me a phone number, but lately if I ask the same girl for a schedule for her at the club, the response is "I work every day" ?! Wierd! It used to be that a girl would tell me to get the repeat customer.

Sometimes I ask about their relationship in response to questions about any I might have. If I ask about a relationship without being asked myself, it has typically been because they said they did OTC. (Not that I'd get a true answer, but I was just feeling them out to see if OTC feels right. There's actually only about a 10-30 per cent chance she is telling the truth even if she will do OTC. They always have "somebody", so I don't really know why I waste my time.)

Lots of girls are "out there" with whether they have kids. And I've met them.

If you aren't chatty to some extent about your personal life, you probably wouldn't be my long-term dancer type. If it's going to be LT, I want something to talk about and for the most part my life is an open book.

I am often out with the idea that I am not looking for a gf/SO/wife. So maybe that's why my chatter gets received well.

-Sad-

she sells sanctuary
07-28-2010, 02:20 PM
It's part of the fantasy you are selling. If they ask it's because it helps sell the fantasy. How you answer is of course up to you. But guys ask for a reason. If you tell them you are married, etc., the fantasy becomes much less appealing. It is as simple as that. How you chose to answer is your choice. But if you are in this business to make money, your job is to sell the fantasy. Then the answer becomes obvious.....

you're assuming that every guy has the fantasy of a single and available girl dancing for him.

some guys have the fantasy of a married woman dancing for them, then going home and fucking her husband.

or a lot of custies will think that if a girl is single that she's trying to find a sugar daddy or husband in the club...and a lot are incredibly turned off by that. hell, i'm just a sweet person, and i've had custies tell me that they weren't interested in dating me. and i thought they were insane, because duh, i'm a stripper, i don't want to date you.

if you need to think a girl is single and that you've got a chance with her in order to enjoy the experience, okay. but that you. it's not everyone.

different guys like different looks. different guys like different contact levels. different guys like different types/amounts of conversation. different guys like different types of stage performance.

and frankly, more often than not, if a custy asks me if i'm single and i tell him i am (that is, the truth), i get called a liar and told that i'm just hustling him and he's too smart to fall for my stripper shit. so whatever.

classyguy
07-28-2010, 09:39 PM
I've never yet asked a girl if she was married, and only a couple have volunterered some limited information on their personal lives. Actually, if a stripper told me she was married, or had a committed relationship, it wouldn't be a turn-off at all. In fact, it would open up a whole new and interesting area for discussion. I would be interested in how the two of them handle her career. It can't be easy. It seems that it would take a very confident man to have a dancer for a wife (or girlfriend), and it would take a very together lady to balance the sexual excitement of her job with her need to provide comfort and assurance to her partner.

Couples who can actually do this successfully would be very much in accord with my view of how the world should be, and I would be delighted to find a kindred spirit. This is something that I have never been able to discuss with anyone currently in my life. It seems that it should be a natural and interesting subject to discuss with a strippper, but, so far, I have been disappointed because no one has been willing to go there with me.

Maybe I should try to start a new thread, and ask the very articulate ladies on this site some questions that might be a little more interesting than whether you're offended to be asked if you're married. Can anyone tell me how to do that?

jennsweet
07-30-2010, 03:08 PM
^wow deep................ you really there for the convo, or you just wanna see tits and ass?

classyguy
07-30-2010, 06:31 PM
its important to be classy in a stripclub too. bc we as strippers are looking for that.... not just the money.

~wink~
And I would say that its important to be interesting as a dancer bc I, as a customer, am looking for that.... not just the tits and ass (of course -your tits and ass make you a hell of a lot more interesting - just like the money probably makes me a lot more interesting)

btw - I'm really new at this. How does one start a new thread?

hockeybobby
07-30-2010, 06:39 PM
btw - I'm really new at this. How does one start a new thread?

Click on "forums" at the top, click on the forum you want your thread in (eg. industry insight / lounge whatever), then click on the "New Thread" button upper left. Fill yer boots.

classyguy
07-30-2010, 07:33 PM
Thanks

bumrubber
08-03-2010, 06:39 PM
Seems to me like a really dumb thing to ask. I never have.

femmefatale88
08-23-2010, 01:22 AM
I hate this uestion because I was asked this and the customer said he couldn't buy a dance because "he feels bad". FUck that! I made him get a dance anyways and he did, and he enjoyed it and said now I realize your bf is very lucky, when before he said it is hard to imagine it is ok to dance and have a bf.
I always try to dodge the question somehow. Also sometimes I say I don't have a bf, and of course then the guy thinks he has a chance then starts to convince me to date him. I am at a loss as to what I should say.

Hopper
08-23-2010, 01:39 AM
^Perhaps the best answers for getting yourself out of that situation are "no I don't have a bf" and "maybe I will give you my number" (a few months and twenty LDs from now).

flyguy29
09-08-2011, 02:46 AM
I ask only in VIP after getting comfortable. I like having a "normal" conversation and dirty "fantasy" talk is too fatiguing. I go in and outof fantasy after setting the stage for normal interaction. The dancers I chose for VIP don't kind and actually enjoy the gime that passes more since it's not all just ld.

Jay12
09-08-2011, 10:32 AM
I had told customers I'm taken, but what really grinds my gears is when they ask this: "so, is he ok with you doing this?"

My answer: "Oh yes, and he brags about it at work!"