View Full Version : Dancers' BF Types
I can't believe some of the stuff I just read on this thread. For me the underlying disappointment is in how much people define one another by their jobs. I get stereotyped all the time because of my work and it gets pretty old pretty quick. I hate it when people ask each other at parties 'what they do' as a means of triangulating one another's existence. I wish people would stop thinking about each other in terms of what they do for employment in general.
I am old school and am defined in many ways by my work. It is a measure of how I have contributed to my family and to society as a whole. I believe most would agree that within 30 seconds after meeting someone, folks talk about what they do. To suggest that this is somehow wrong is nonsensical. People are proud of what they do and it is an integral part of what makes them, them.
FBR
mediocrity
04-25-2010, 01:41 PM
^^ I suppose most are- I'm not proud of what I do.
Athenathefabulous
04-25-2010, 01:51 PM
I am old school and am defined in many ways by my work. It is a measure of how I have contributed to my family and to society as a whole. I believe most would agree that within 30 seconds after meeting someone, folks talk about what they do. To suggest that this is somehow wrong is nonsensical. People are proud of what they do and it is an integral part of what makes them, them.
FBR
i agree with this... i am definitely largely defined by what i do. My whole lifestyle is enabled by it and i have no shame in what i do 8).
rubyredlipsss
04-25-2010, 03:02 PM
I am old school and am defined in many ways by my work. It is a measure of how I have contributed to my family and to society as a whole. I believe most would agree that within 30 seconds after meeting someone, folks talk about what they do. To suggest that this is somehow wrong is nonsensical. People are proud of what they do and it is an integral part of what makes them, them.
FBR
this may hold true for some, like athena, and i don't see anything wrong with that, but i would preferred not to be stereotyped as a dancer because for me it's temporary. i think this would also hold true for people in certain occupations that fit in with mainstream society. however, when your job is not generally mainstream nor accepted by societal standards, the stereotyping for some can be quite irritating. which is why i agree angel's statement.
AngelKing
04-25-2010, 05:08 PM
I am old school and am defined in many ways by my work. It is a measure of how I have contributed to my family and to society as a whole. I believe most would agree that within 30 seconds after meeting someone, folks talk about what they do. To suggest that this is somehow wrong is nonsensical. People are proud of what they do and it is an integral part of what makes them, them.
FBR
If you define yourself by what you do for work then that is awesome, so does just about everyone else I meet. I define myself by who I am, and what I do for work is a small part of that. My contributions to society and to my family go way beyond what I do for work. And yes, my point was exactly that within 30 seconds of meeting most people ask what you do, and I don't think it's wrong, I just think people's pride in what they do shouldn't be defined by what they do for a living.
I would usually rather hear where a person has been, what they have seen, and what good they have done for others. If those questions are all answerable within the context of their employment, then fantastic. But people's jobs are certainly not the first topic about them that will interest me first.
Athenathefabulous
04-25-2010, 05:14 PM
^^it also partly depends how much you work. if you work 40+ hours a week then it is difficult to say that work is only a small part of your life. if you only work 10 hrs, then thats a different matter.
Kellydancer
04-25-2010, 05:24 PM
this may hold true for some, like athena, and i don't see anything wrong with that, but i would preferred not to be stereotyped as a dancer because for me it's temporary. i think this would also hold true for people in certain occupations that fit in with mainstream society. however, when your job is not generally mainstream nor accepted by societal standards, the stereotyping for some can be quite irritating. which is why i agree angel's statement.
I feel the same way. I wasn't ashamed usually that I danced, but knew many people wouldn't accept it. When I danced fulltime and people asked what I did I told them I was a model (which was true). Models are accepted more in society plus, are considered to be a field with pretty women. I knew I didn't most people to know I danced. When I danced part time and had a "regular" job fulltime I would tell people I was whatever the job was (radio, pr,etc). I knew that most people if I told them I was a stripper they would think I was a whore and drug addict because that's how society stereotypes it. I am far from the stereotype but knew people would believe I was not different. I learned this the hard way when I'd tell guys I was a stripper and they either thought I was a "bad" girl (and didn't want to date) or was "easy". I've always been a good girl and didn't want that to change.
AngelKing
04-25-2010, 07:00 PM
^^it also partly depends how much you work. if you work 40+ hours a week then it is difficult to say that work is only a small part of your life. if you only work 10 hrs, then thats a different matter.
To the point where it validates someone compartmentalizing your relationship choices because of your profession? And even if I worked 100 hrs a week I'd rather someone categorize me by the passion I have for my work rather than my job title.
Athenathefabulous
04-26-2010, 04:12 AM
i didnt say it validates this thread.
i just said if you spend roughly a quarter of your time in the strip club or whatever profession you choose, then it is a significant part of defining yourself.
AngelKing
04-26-2010, 06:27 AM
i didnt say it validates this thread.
i just said if you spend roughly a quarter of your time in the strip club or whatever profession you choose, then it is a significant part of defining yourself.
Finance professional or short order cook, I try and treat everybody the same and make no assumptions about their character based on their job. My sister recently started dancing and I hope people will do the same for her.
rubyredlipsss
04-26-2010, 10:45 AM
^well you can only hope, but people are still going to make their assumptions, it's sad but true. she'll just have debunk their stereotypes and show that her character, not her job, is what defines her. even as a student and the way i look people make assumptions about what i'm like, they're almost usually wrong too. they assume because i dress alternatively/fashionably, have tattoos, etc. that i'm this party girl who isn't majoring in anything significant. or they assume because of my major i hold certain opinions on things, yet there's so much more to me than my major, my job and how i look. unfortunately it's not a perfect world and people will always make assumptions.
what makes me angry is when they do get to really know me, they say things like "wow, i'm surprised you're so knowledgeable on such and such"
AngelKing
04-26-2010, 12:02 PM
^well you can only hope, but people are still going to make their assumptions, it's said but true. she'll just have debunk their stereotypes and show that her character, not her job, is what defines her. even as a student and the way i look people make assumptions about what i'm like, they're almost usually wrong too. they assume because i dress alternatively/fashionably, have tattoos, etc. that i'm this party girl who isn't majoring in anything significant. or they assume because of my major i hold certain opinions on things, yet there's so much more to me than my major, my job and how i look. unfortunately it's not a perfect world and people will always make assumptions.
what makes me angry is when they do get to really know me, they say things like "wow, i'm surprised you're so knowledgeable on such and such"
Yeah, I know it's a lot to hope for, and it's why I try not to pigeonhole people by their work myself to start with. I get misread all the time, people assume I'm illiterate, and that because of my work I have certain character and behavioral tendencies which are so off the mark it's not even funny.
I like to see people as being a total way beyond the sum of their parts, and my whole point for posting in this thread in the first place was because of my hopes that my sister doesn't get compartmentalized by her job to the point where people even go so far as to make assumptions about her dating habits. Sorry but I find that pretty asinine. She, like everyone else to me, is a human being before she is an occupation.
Athenathefabulous
04-26-2010, 01:30 PM
:shrug:
i guess i like shattering assumptions. i look like dumb barbie stripper bitch... and in a lot of ways i fit the stripper stereotype. Then i get to tell people i have a degree in math, then they see the iron maiden tattoo, and idk.... i guess im a huge fan of juxtaposition ;). i get a strange type of pleasure out of confusing and surprising people.
yea, you shouldnt judge people by the job though. when i said if you spend a lot of time in the strip club it defines you, i meant more from a first person perspective. its a big part of my life so its a big part of the way I define myself.
jack0177057
04-26-2010, 02:34 PM
No you're not. You've been here forever, yet you still posed this ridiculous questions because you do not and will not ever understand that strippers are just people.
I know that dancers are just people, I was just curious about whether certain types of guys make better dancer BFs than others (or are preferred by SOME dancers). That's not the same as saying ALL dancers ONLY date certain types of guys. I think the way I phrased my question was wrong - Would you have been so offended if it had been a survey, instead, with many different options? Aren't all surveys essentially the same - looking to detect preferences among a certain group of people. Do you react so negatively to all the surveys on SW?
You can ask the same question about many occupations -
(1) What types of women make the best GF's for men in dangerous occupations like police officer and fireman (or are preferred by them)?
(2) What types of women make the best GF's for male strippers (or are preferred by them).
(3) What types of women make the best GF's for 80hrs-week workaholic professionals (or are preferred by them).
Maybe the data reveals nothing... or maybe it reveals a preference, to some degree, towards a certain type of person. You will not know until the question is asked.
People take "personality" tests which are supposed to tell you your personality type, what other personality types you relate to best and what personality types you relate to least... People are just people, but there are many theories about how to group people into distinct "types" or categories for psychological purposes. Absolutes are bad!... But, it is not uncommon to find certain preferences (maybe as low as 51% or as high as 90%) among groups of people based on common characteristics like occupation or other factors.
JayATee's objection: The question itself - "whether certain types of guys make better dancer BFs " assumes that "dancer" is valid category for grouping of people - and we've been telling you, Jack, that it is not. It has no more legitimacy as a classification than grouping together all the people wearing a red shirt in the mall... or all the people wearing sneakers in any random city street... There is ABSOLUTELY nothing that makes "dancer" into a legitimate "group" for any study or survey. They have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON, except for how they earn their money... Okay, I get that. Yes, its processed.
Nuclear Martini
04-26-2010, 02:37 PM
My boyfriend is the sexiest man I have ever met and he is not an artist, a free-loader, or any other steriotype here.
AngelKing
04-26-2010, 04:55 PM
You can ask the same question about many occupations -
(1) What types of women make the best GF's for men in dangerous occupations like police officer and fireman (or are preferred by them)?
(2) What types of women make the best GF's for male strippers (or are preferred by them).
(3) What types of women make the best GF's for 80hrs-week workaholic professionals (or are preferred by them).
[/B]
Answer is the same for all or any other occupations you'd care to list. Ideal mate is one who will put up with their shit but still love them anyway.
Djoser
04-26-2010, 06:35 PM
Actually, dancers are far, far different from 'average', 'ordinary' women.
The average woman has never been on a stage of any kind, not since junior high or high school assembly bullshit.
The average woman has never danced on a stage for an audience.
The average woman has never stripped naked while dancing onstage for an audience of horny, drunk, potentially belligerent men.
The average woman has never then gone out into that audience and tried to get guys to buy lapdances, in which she strips naked and rubs on their genitals (in most areas of the country).
The average woman could not handle this.
The average guy could never handle 'his' girlfriend or wife doing this.
So right off, you have a dividing line between what the average guy can handle, and what the guy dating a dancer seriously can handle. The guys that can handle the dancing girlfriends without freaking out are often able to handle it for all the wrong reasons. Or, perhaps more common, they pretend they can handle it, but really they can't--and the tension shows in all kinds of nasty unpleasant ways.
From what I've seen, ten years working the clubs, most dancers' boyfriends have been assholes. But of course more than half of those years were spent working in Daytona, and all the guys were assholes up there, lol! And of course there are exceptions to every 'rule' of averages. We have many exceptional people here in this forum, for instance. And many of them have exceptional boyfriends, I'm sure.
threlayer
04-26-2010, 06:43 PM
I just got in on this conv. Back to generalizations.
I've found that the people most annoying to others are those who generalize and make assumptions about someone they have had only a few seconds/minutes with.
Generalizations objectify people and people don't like that. If you're going to be interested in someone for whatever reason, you'd better talk with them before you make many assumptions about them. For one thing most assumptions are just wrong.
As far as strippers in clubs, why have some I've seen numerous time told me they like my company (and would even go out) and others could care less? If generalizations held any merit, since they were all strippers, why wouldn't most all of them have the same feelings? Because they don't, generalizations are invalid.
__________________________
BTW, great response DJoser.
sxcbbw
04-26-2010, 06:43 PM
^Thank God. I was always scared of being average. No joke, I will likely sleep more easily tonight.
Djoser
04-26-2010, 06:46 PM
There are very few conformists in this industry. A lot of us were living outside 'the norm' long before we started, even. I know I was.
threlayer
04-26-2010, 06:51 PM
Oh, I gotta tell you this... Musicians most of you are denigrating, I'd guess, are the rocker, hip-hop types who have never taken a music theory class or even serious lessons on their instrument and so are often unsuccessful. There is another class of musicians (ones whom I deal with everyday) who have pretty much the opposite personality, though they often don't have much money either (starving artists) if they are only in music. Just to clarify.
Djoser
04-26-2010, 06:57 PM
I missed the musician bashing, lol. But then I didn't read the entire thread, I confess.
I have a good friend from college who has his doctorate in Music and is now teaching at the University of Michigan, a pretty good school as they go. Of course, he is pretty non-conformist as well! But yeah, he sure doesn't fit the stereotype.
jack0177057
04-26-2010, 07:29 PM
Actually, dancers are far, far different from 'average', 'ordinary' women.
No Djoser... You're not turning me back... Dancers are not in a unique classification they do not form any kind of legitimate group or subgroup of women. Other than the fact that they have adapted to their working environment and conditions in the SC, there is nothing that sets them apart or distinguishes them from other women.
They were not pre-destined to become dancers by some character trait or personality attribute and there is no human gene that makes a women predisposed to earn a living by stripping her clothes.
Dancers are woman that somehow arrived at the occupation of dancer by mere chance and opportunity. They adapted to it, just like any job requires you to change some aspect of your "normal" life to adapt to it and any apparent similarities amongst dancers is nothing more than that - the adaptation to the occupation of being a dancer. Otherwise, there is no commonality amongst them.
To say that there is anything they share in common (other than the conditions of their occupation) is to stereotype.
However, they sell the fantasy and the myth that they are different,... that they belong to a distinct class of women that are "sex goddesses" that love to dance, party and seduce men. We (the customer) buy into this fiction and see them as different from the women in the "real" world, and we pay to be in their company and enjoy their uniquely "fun and sexy personality". So, this is their dilemma - they must create the fantasy of being "different" to attract customers and be succesful in their occupation, but this fantasy they create breeds stereotypes that they resent.
Djoser
04-26-2010, 07:49 PM
I never said they were 'pre-destined' to become strippers.
I said working in stripclubs requires the ability to do things 'normal' women have never done and could never do.
To be a dancer is to deal with many things on a routine basis, that normal men and women will never have to deal with. Dancing for an audience. Getting naked on a stage. Having guys try to shove their fingers up your ass. Every single night they work, they deal with things that would have your average housewife running out the fucking door screaming.
It takes incredible fortitude to get up there on that stage and give an erotic performance 5-8 times a night, especially on slow nights when guys aren't tipping. It takes even more fortitude to deal with the kind of crap they have to deal with in the private dance rooms.
Part of my job is to watch the cameras so I know how crowded the private dance rooms are (so I can then cut the songs shorter as I am required to do), and also who is in Champagne Room since they never tell me when they go up or come down, and I have to skip them if they are in CR.
The shit I see on those cameras is not pretty. It's like going back to Junior high, I swear. Drunk guys trying as hard as they can the entire time to get their fingers on the pussy. Dancers spending all their time keeping the hands out of there, often requiring a great deal of physical effort, and far more patience than I would ever be able to summon up. A whole lot of dryhumping.
These are not 'average' women, putting up with that kind of shit. Of course, some of them are also walking with over a grand a night, so they are getting well paid for putting up with that shit. But most of them don't make that much.
It's also not a business people tend to get into by chance. They tend to consider it a while first. There are exceptions here as well, like a lot of times dancers will get their friends to try it if they need money, etc.
JayATee
04-26-2010, 08:00 PM
Oh, I gotta tell you this... Musicians most of you are denigrating, I'd guess, are the rocker, hip-hop types who have never taken a music theory class or even serious lessons on their instrument and so are often unsuccessful. There is another class of musicians (ones whom I deal with everyday) who have pretty much the opposite personality, though they often don't have much money either (starving artists) if they are only in music. Just to clarify.
Can you post the original post that you're referencing/clarifying? Before I go off I want to make sure I understand what it is you're saying.
threlayer
04-26-2010, 08:28 PM
Can you post the original post that you're referencing/clarifying? Before I go off I want to make sure I understand what it is you're saying.
I wasn't trying to dis anyone. But as a serious-minded musician myself I've seen many references over my tenure in SW referring to bad-boy loafers who call themselves "musicians" who seem to just take. I know a lot of musicians who you'd have to say are serious and I dont know anyone like that. So not all "musicians" (by far) are like that. I find them in general to be very giving of their time and talent, pretty much independent, and generous with what they have. Not at all like what is often portrayed here.
Again I don't mean to offend anyone.
Djoser
04-26-2010, 08:39 PM
I wasn't trying to dis anyone. But as a serious-minded musician myself I've seen many references over my tenure in SW referring to bad-boy loafers who call themselves "musicians" who seem to just take. I know a lot of musicians who you'd have to say are serious and I dont know anyone like that. So not all "musicians" (by far) are like that. I find them in general to be very giving of their time and talent, pretty much independent, and generous with what they have. Not at all like what is often portrayed here.
Again I don't mean to offend anyone.
I've known plenty of the stereotypical musician types, just as I've known many stereotypical DJs, managers, bouncers, dancers, and customers.
But only a fool would judge all people harshly in any given profession, no matter how unusual it might be, or how true the stereotypical behavior can sometimes run in the business in question. The serious musicians tend to suffer a bit I think. Like most of those involved in the Arts: painting, literature, traditional dance, etc. These are not fields renowned for high income, and respect from the professional types running the business world.
I missed what you said before, but I don't see anything objectionable about your last couple posts at all.
threlayer
04-26-2010, 08:46 PM
^^ Yes, don't over-generalize on musicians. It's what people do, not what they are.
JayATee
04-26-2010, 09:29 PM
I wasn't trying to dis anyone. But as a serious-minded musician myself I've seen many references over my tenure in SW referring to bad-boy loafers who call themselves "musicians" who seem to just take. I know a lot of musicians who you'd have to say are serious and I dont know anyone like that. So not all "musicians" (by far) are like that. I find them in general to be very giving of their time and talent, pretty much independent, and generous with what they have. Not at all like what is often portrayed here.
Again I don't mean to offend anyone.
Ah. Ok. See? Im glad I asked.
Golden_Rule
04-26-2010, 11:13 PM
...that strippers are just people.
I say that all the time. Just folks. Just like sweat-pants boner men. Subject to all the good and bad that entails. :)
KS_Stevia
04-27-2010, 10:23 AM
Answer is the same for all or any other occupations you'd care to list. Ideal mate is one who will put up with their shit but still love them anyway.
Yes. Exactly. That is all anyone needs to know.
Also, scheduling can be an issue. The partner of the stripper must put up with her working late hours, or also work them himself, OR understand that he will not have her to himself each and every evening. This is less of a problem for girls who work days.
I dated a chef, bartender, and club (non-SC) manager when I worked a day job. That was a huge PIA, trying to coordinate our schedules and maintain a healthy relationship. Its something a stripper needs to look for in a boyfriend as much as one who tolerates the sexual nature of her business.
Hence, most potential mates have two strikes against them from the get go,
1. Letting go of the sexual nature of the job
2. Dealing with the hours
Everything else is up to individuals.
chris91
04-28-2010, 04:53 AM
Actually, dancers are far, far different from 'average', 'ordinary' women.
The average woman has never been on a stage of any kind, not since junior high or high school assembly bullshit.
Everybody has done something in their lives that "the average woman" hasn't done. That doesn't make us a different animal.
Kellydancer
04-28-2010, 04:18 PM
^^ Yes, don't over-generalize on musicians. It's what people do, not what they are.
This reminded me of something. I went to school with the daughter of a musician. Some people might think "I guess that means her father was lazy" until I mention he was the lead singer of a famous rock band and had a successful solo career. Her family lived very normal (they lived not too far from me) and you'd never know who they were unless you saw their name. I seriously doubt her father went to strip clubs at all, and has been married for over 40 years.
prettysammie
04-29-2010, 12:43 AM
I know it's wrong, but most people stereotype a little. It's the only way to deal with information. It's often wrong, but you have to start somewhere. If a guy is wearing colors, has certain tats and flashing signs, he might just be making a fashion statement but I'm going to start with the assumption that he might be in a gang.
I think it's true for choice of profession or even school major. I meet engineers and I think "oh, he must be smart and I bet he has to study all the time." With that comes some assumptions about his personality (like he's responsible and disciplined enough to study and not party) and I bet I wouldn't be too wrong if I made some guesses that he likes Star Wars and maybe likes Japanese cartoons. I might guess that he hasn't had much time for girls, but I know enough engineers to know that's not always true. But I also know that stereotype exists for a reason.
With strippers, is it really that hard to think how someone might make some assumptions about personality if they knew a girl was willing to take off her clothes in public? At the very least it'd indicate a willingness to go against convention and a comfort with nudity and maybe sex? If they knew about the business side of stripping they might make some guesses about how she's smart and knows how to get money and stuff out of guys. They might also think she's a little jaded about men and maybe that effects how she views relationships.
I guess what I'm saying is it's not so crazy for someone to make some assumptions about you based on your career. I know there's certain things I could never do for a living because they just aren't me. I could never be a scientist who did test on animals because just thinking about it makes me sick. I could never be a sniper in the army because I can't imagine ever wanting to kill someone. But I could see myself taking off my clothes for money or if I really had to, trading sex for money. And I guess that says something about me and my own personal morals.
jack0177057
04-29-2010, 08:00 AM
^^^ And many of us have this dilemma in our careers - on the one hand, we profit largely from stereotypes, but, on the other hand, we resent them - Take trial attorneys for example, many of them put on a show of being mean junkyard dogs, because clients want a "mean and aggressive" trial lawyer, but, they also resent the stereotype of the asshole lawyer who people love to hate. Accountants, tax lawyers, engineers, biologists, and other cerebral professionals profit from being regarded as highly intelligent and nerdy, because that's what clients/businesses look for in those professionals. They learn to play the role well, but,... in the social scene, those stereotypes are a big liability and they resent being regarded that way.
Dancers are in a similar situation... They profit from the fantasy that they are uniquely different... hotter, sexier, wilder, naughtier, and raunchier than your wife/girlfriend... But, when these fantasies they create become crystalized into widely-held assumptions and stereotypes, they resent the stereotypes.
prettysammie
04-29-2010, 11:38 PM
Well, I don't think anyone wants to be stereotyped. We understand that people do it, and I know that if I ever became a stripper people would make certain assumptions about me. But I'd like to think that people wouldn't judge me based on those assumptions and actually get to know me.
I'm naturally busty and I'm friendly and social so a lot of guys think I'm just a dumb slut. Even if I'm more promiscuous than some other girls I know, I don't want to be dismissed as an actual human being with real thoughts and feelings.
laurcon
05-02-2010, 12:21 PM
I am old school and am defined in many ways by my work. It is a measure of how I have contributed to my family and to society as a whole. I believe most would agree that within 30 seconds after meeting someone, folks talk about what they do. To suggest that this is somehow wrong is nonsensical. People are proud of what they do and it is an integral part of what makes them, them.
FBR
If you are what you do, then when you don't... you aren't?
I was just on a nutrition/yoga retreat and a woman I became very close with was a doctor. I found this out when another friend said "yeah she's great, her patients are very lucky." She didn't feel the need to talk about her practice or ask me about how I make money, but yet I feel like we really know each other.
People who don't know their true self are going to be distracted by their ego, and the need to feed it.
If someone is really living their passion and loves her job and is helping the community, great, I'd love to hear about it. Its very inspiring and makes the world a better place. If you're just making money, who gives a fuck?
What do retired/disabled people talk about?? Who are they if they don't work? OMG!
laurcon
05-02-2010, 12:30 PM
^^^ And many of us have this dilemma in our careers - on the one hand, we profit largely from stereotypes, but, on the other hand, we resent them - Take trial attorneys for example, many of them put on a show of being mean junkyard dogs, because clients want a "mean and aggressive" trial lawyer, but, they also resent the stereotype of the asshole lawyer who people love to hate. Accountants, tax lawyers, engineers, biologists, and other cerebral professionals profit from being regarded as highly intelligent and nerdy, because that's what clients/businesses look for in those professionals. They learn to play the role well, but,... in the social scene, those stereotypes are a big liability and they resent being regarded that way.
Dancers are in a similar situation... They profit from the fantasy that they are uniquely different... hotter, sexier, wilder, naughtier, and raunchier than your wife/girlfriend... But, when these fantasies they create become crystalized into widely-held assumptions and stereotypes, they resent the stereotypes.
So perhaps the answer is to let people do their jobs while they are working and not judge them for it when they're off the clock? I don't understand the argument of "that's easier said than done" because I've really found it quite easy to not ask people what they do or care if they tell me. Its really up to each individual to abstain from judgment.
jack0177057
05-03-2010, 03:06 PM
^ I agree...
I admit that before discovering this forum, I did have some assumptions about dancers - but they were positive assumptions - more about glamorizing dancers than "judging" them... Stripper writers like Elisabeth Eaves, Danielle Egan, Katherine Frank, Merri Lisa Johnson and Diablo Cody, made me think there was a new wave of intellectual strippers - fiercely independent, rebellious, confident, deep-thinking, feminist, open-minded and seductive... Woman who weren't forced to be strippers because of a lack of options, but who deliberately chose to be dancers because it was empowering to them (money, flexibility, profitting from male weakness instead of succumbing to male domination, etc.). My experiences in some of the upscale clubs seemed to confirm this, because the dancers were very smart college girls with incite about psychology and relationships issues and I received very good relationship advise from them.
But, now that I've seen "behind the curtains" in this forum,... I agree that there is no reason to "judge" dancers and there is no reason to glamorize them, either.
ilbbaicnl
07-03-2010, 06:10 PM
married for 10 years to a Senior IT professional. Who is on the fast track to really succeed big in this company. I have also been retired for a year this week.
He's also, when at home, a pierced/tatted techno dj type. Surfer and gamer too.
If you don't mind saying, what did you like about dancing, since it sounds like you don't need the money?
princessjas
07-07-2010, 07:42 AM
If you don't mind saying, what did you like about dancing, since it sounds like you don't need the money?
This is a very weird question. Many of us have husbands who bring in a nice paycheck. I can't guess at Velvet's reasons for dancing, but here is my situation. My ex was very well off, he has his MBA and worked as a Financial Manager at a Lucent Tech, while I worked days as a lab tech then an accountant (yeah my education is all over the place, lol!)
I still danced until my second son was born. The money was great and allowed us to buy my two 550's outright and put down more than 20% on our custom built McMansion while socking away money for college and retirement. Why wouldn't I strip?!?! It's not like I'm shy and horrified by nudity? Oh, and stage dancing is FUUNN!! Always loved working the stage and having all eyes on me!
fast tan77
07-07-2010, 10:49 AM
Oh, and stage dancing is FUUNN!! Always loved working the stage and having all eyes on me!
Oh Jas, come work a few nights in Mo'town, PLEASE!!!!!!!
princessjas
07-07-2010, 02:32 PM
Oh Jas, come work a few nights in Mo'town, PLEASE!!!!!!!
Haha! I danced in Motown for about 5 years! First place I danced at was Lady Godiva's....but I shouldn't admit that and show my age! I've been swearing Imma take a trip up there for several years. If I do I might drop by a club one night. I kinda miss dancing to be honest. :)
fast tan77
07-07-2010, 03:00 PM
Check out the Blue Parrot, new club on mile ground in old Back Bay restaurant. Its only open Thursday Friday and Saturday, still under construction. Owners really have their shit together, they managed other clubs. Lots of Excalibur dancers their including one pI bet u know. PM me if ya want more info. I know for a fact they would let you dance a night or two.
ilbbaicnl
07-10-2010, 03:08 AM
This is a very weird question. Many of us have husbands who bring in a nice paycheck. I can't guess at Velvet's reasons for dancing, but here is my situation. My ex was very well off, he has his MBA and worked as a Financial Manager at a Lucent Tech, while I worked days as a lab tech then an accountant (yeah my education is all over the place, lol!)
I still danced until my second son was born. The money was great and allowed us to buy my two 550's outright and put down more than 20% on our custom built McMansion while socking away money for college and retirement. Why wouldn't I strip?!?! It's not like I'm shy and horrified by nudity? Oh, and stage dancing is FUUNN!! Always loved working the stage and having all eyes on me!
With the dancers I'm acquainted with, most say they dance because it would be a real hardship for them to do without the money they make. They say the job has a lot of serious annoyances, customers are occasionally scary, and they worry about being harrassed outside the club if the wrong people found them or found out they were dancers. But maybe it's not a representative sample.
mediocrity
07-10-2010, 09:34 AM
^^ I danced at first for fun, then for money, then because I felt stuck, now because of extra income. I'm down to maybe once or twice a week, but it hasn't always been that way. I've also danced through two husbands ( one from 19-24, my current as of 3months ago ) and three boyfriends. All of them vastly, vastly different.
jennsweet
07-10-2010, 08:54 PM
^they all liked sluts though !!!! lol JKJKJKJK (sorry i had too!)
MsChaos
07-10-2010, 09:41 PM
So much easier to just do it while single. Only way I'd feel comfortable.
princessjas
07-11-2010, 08:38 AM
With the dancers I'm acquainted with, most say they dance because it would be a real hardship for them to do without the money they make. They say the job has a lot of serious annoyances, customers are occasionally scary, and they worry about being harrassed outside the club if the wrong people found them or found out they were dancers. But maybe it's not a representative sample.
Actually, your sample is probably a better representation of all strippers. Over the years I've noticed most SW'ers are kinda the cream of the crop stripperwise. (Damn that sounds arrogant, and I really don't mean it that way.) Most of us took dancing serious enough to get online and look up ways to make more money and other tips....not exactly your stereotypical stripper.
I've been working the last couple of nights again after an extended retirement and let me tell you....I'm surrounded by morons. Gahhh, I hate stupid people. Just last night this girl ask another if she was going to do her hair and freshen up her makeup. The girl looked at the one that ask with complete shock on her face and said....but I'm skinny and still only 19!! Same girl 3 hrs later in the dressing room complaining that she never sells any dances or makes much money. Nahhhh!?!? You don't fucking say?? Wonder what you could do to change that?? Since you have absolutely no personality...might wanna work on looking hot. I hearby name you Annoying Idiot. Another two got into it the night before and were stupid enough to go to management over stolen pot! *bangs head* I have NO CLUE how some of these girls have the brain power to even breath. It's like an episode of the 3-stooges or something. :O
anouk.oui
07-11-2010, 09:08 AM
having met so many manipulative, annoying, creepy, asshole, boring and possessive types at work almost every night i prefer to come home to a man who i can be myself around and couldnt give shit whether i am a stripper or a super model a business professional or a crackwhore, because he loves who i am and supports whatever i do and treats me with respect.