View Full Version : I have no friends
Violet_Dawn
05-02-2010, 10:57 PM
i dont either...i also have social issues and find it hard to leave my room alot. i don't have friends here at college. the few i had graduated. my fiance is at AT and will be deploying soon. fam is in other states.
i dont like to drink much and i swear if i hear one more frat boy say "let's get TRAAAAASHEED!!!" I will go freakin insane. when did drinking=fun all the time? sometimes i wanna go back to first grade, where it was simpler
ArmySGT.
05-12-2010, 05:07 PM
I wanted to write a little about the situation I'm in.
I have been dancing since the age of 18 (I'm almost 22). I never really had many
close friends becuase I left high school at the age of 16. Don't worry so much on this Boys don't stary maturingt into Men until after age 25. Your young and vibrant with decades of Life with unimagined wonders ahead.
I worked at a nude club for three years with girls mostly in my age rage (18-20). I was always social and friendly with the staff, waitresses and doormen but I never really made friends with many of them as I kept things at work strictly business. After almost 3 years I left this club after an incident with another girl in the dressing room. I basically bounced around from club to club so the oppertunity for making steady female friends was very small.
I quit dancing about 6 months ago due to extreme and intense panic attacks. I had a few people in my phone book who would text and ask me to hang out and whatnot. But sooner than later I became known as a flake. I would think of any excuse to not leave my house because I had a huge fear of leaving the safety of my home. aking a stab at pop culture psychology I would say the bad news starts here. Maybe Journal it, write the whole thing out in long hand either first or third persons. This may exorcise the demons for you. Keeping your time in the club strictly professional isn't a problem, but you need to cultivate a non club social life too. There was something you felt was fun before dancing. Maybe you love books, libraries may have a book circle the revolves around a genre or author. Go.
Eventually my friend count became zero and I had no one. I couldn't tell the people who wanted to hang out with me that my flakiness was due to anxiety. How do you really explain to someone that you can't go out because you're scared you'll die before you even make it to your destination. (Anxiety while driving has been huge for me.) :-[ Maybe a walking club, ask someone if they will drive as you feel uncomfortable driving. It is not uncommon and some people would rather drive than be a passenger. Maybe a driving school? Professional instruction with a patient teacher may boost your basic skills and your confidence.
I'm just curious how you lovely women go about meeting and making friends with new people? Not qualified to answer this one. However you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
I've been told to go to bars or clubs or to take a class in something that interests me. This has kinda been a problem because going to a bar/club would mean showing up alone and either not drinking because I have to drive, or leaving the bar/club alone in a taxi. I think that would be terribly embarassing. The taking a class thing isn't really possible for me at the moment simply due to money issues from not dancing.
Anyone have any advice? Walking/running club. working in a club. I got wayyyyyyyyyyy more phone numbers and one night stands being staff than being another stunt dick at the bar. a beauty products / makeup social circle? Pole dance / exotic dance group for housewives. The rockwall at an REI store. Bicycling. Gardening in the yard? Whats happening at the community center / civic center? Visit with the patients at the state nursing home? Walking dogs for the ASPCA? Bikini car wash?
For starters lace up your shoes and go for a walk, its spring and the new blossoms are opening up.
K Sweet
05-13-2010, 08:44 PM
Funny you mention gardening, I just got a community garden. ;D
It's really nice just getting to work in the sun, and it's a good convo starter.