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View Full Version : Peeve: Features



RBurgundy
05-03-2010, 04:53 PM
Went to one of my favorite clubs last week and didn't notice until I was already in and seated that a feature dancer was visiting and was going to be one stage in 5 minutes.

I simply don't get it, at all.

- Time waster. This club actually tells most of the girls to not "compete" with the feature by walking around and hustling guys.

- DJ on volume 11 trying to stir the obviously uncaring audience into making lame noise, again and again, and again. It got to the point that I justed wanted to punch him.

- Stupid crap games like throwing wadded up money to win a lap dance. OK if you are out with the boys pounding some beers, but lame.

- Why the f would I be interested in paying $ to get my picture taken or a signed autographed photo from some used up porn star?

From start to finish, the whole circus lasted over 1/2 hour. Nothing against dancers that travel as features, but unless it is someone I have actually heard of, is there anyone that actually likes this? I can tell from chatting with the girls afterward, they certainly could care less also.

Do the clubs actually get much attendance boost from a feature?

And yes, bachelor parties can also be annoying if it is one of those drawn out affairs, but having been there once, everyone deserves a free pass.

yoda57us
05-03-2010, 05:07 PM
I'm not nor have I ever been a fan of features. I rarely go to a club at night if there is a feature. None of my favs like working on feature nights and take them off whenever possible.

The bottom line however is that they do bring in more of a drinking crowd than you might see on a regular night and this makes money for the club...which is, ultimately, all that club management cares about...

Chili Palmer
05-03-2010, 05:07 PM
Went to one of my favorite clubs last week and didn't notice until I was already in and seated that a feature dancer was visiting and was going to be one stage in 5 minutes.

I simply don't get it, at all.

- Time waster. This club actually tells most of the girls to not "compete" with the feature by walking around and hustling guys.

- DJ on volume 11 trying to stir the obviously uncaring audience into making lame noise, again and again, and again. It got to the point that I justed wanted to punch him.

- Stupid crap games like throwing wadded up money to win a lap dance. OK if you are out with the boys pounding some beers, but lame.

- Why the f would I be interested in paying $ to get my picture taken or a signed autographed photo from some used up porn star?

From start to finish, the whole circus lasted over 1/2 hour. Nothing against dancers that travel as features, but unless it is someone I have actually heard of, is there anyone that actually likes this? I can tell from chatting with the girls afterward, they certainly could care less also.

Do the clubs actually get much attendance boost from a feature?

And yes, bachelor parties can also be annoying if it is one of those drawn out affairs, but having been there once, everyone deserves a free pass.

I admit, back in the day (early 90s), I used to enjoy the big busted features coming to town, and yes, I have about a 4" thick book of Polaroids sitting around here somewhere.

That said, yeah, features are, for the most part, a waste of time. There are so many adult performers now vs the early 90s, it's impossible to keep up with this week's anal queen or that site's bukakke princess. Mostly, it's Le Yawn.

Features do serve one positive purpose though: full length songs. When planned properly, you can sneak off to the VIP with your favorite dancer and get 3 or 4 5-7 minute songs in a row, with no one paying attention. That, my friend, is a mileage hound's dream sceanario.

Sorry, but I cannot give bachelor parties a "pass." Nothing ruins the forward momentum of a fun night at a club like a bachelor party, with the same old tired jokes and "Don't Do It!" rips from the DJ, the same old tired songs, and, worst of all, often taking 3 or more of the top dancers in the club away from the floor to pretend (and sometimes not pretend) to whip the groom with his belt. Double Le Yawn.

To answer your other question, yes, some features really help. Back when Jenna Jameson wasn't a poster child for the Eating Disorders & Bad Plastic Surgery support group, Spearmint Rhino in Industry, CA was fire marshal crowded. Same for Tera Patrick, before she was banging (and married) that tatted up rocker (cliche alert! cliche alert!).

CP

hockeybobby
05-03-2010, 05:56 PM
I've only seen one feature dancer...an SW regular, currently retired. The show was interesting...pole tricks, fire tricks...and I spent a polite amount on her. The house dancer who took the stage before her was an incredibly good dancer, and smoking hot. She had years of formal dance training, and her set was mezmerising. She could easily have been the headliner, but for the fact she was an unknown entity. I emptied the wallet on that one.

lopaw
05-03-2010, 07:30 PM
I've never been to a club with a feature, but it sounds like something that I would try to avoid.

Just ran into a bachelor party @ the OG in Vegas this past Saturday. It sucked ass because what few dancers that were actually out working the floor pounced on the group as soon as they entered the place, much to the chagrin of the rest of us PL's looking for attention. I got outta there ASAP and took my moolah elsewhere.

JoeUnCool
05-04-2010, 10:09 AM
Features were an interesting reason to go to a club........in 1990. Now, too many girls that I have never heard of advertise themselves as features. "You're who? Really, does anyone know who you are? Oh, you were in Anal MILFs 14 and 19, of course, I should have known that. And, you say you did Bound and Gagged 15 and you wore the mask....interesting." I'm sure that features provide some benefit to a club owner, but I don't go to a club because of a feature. I'm sure that some guys will go to a club because of a no name feature, but I'm not one of them.

Give me some quiet alone time with a dancer in the VIP if a club wants more of my money. "No waitress, I don't need a new drink since you just popped in here 4 minutes ago."

lolwut
05-04-2010, 01:02 PM
Just saw a porn star feature a couple of weeks ago. Same same. DJ being extra obnoxious, begging for $5 to come up and rub her down with sponges in the champange pool etc... It was mostly the regular dancers there hopping up on stage and getting their faces smeared. Features boobs were ultra plastiky , pointing towards the ceiling. Other than her outfit and her stupid looking boob job, she was no better (in fact worse) than the 'regular' dancers.
Shut the flow of dancers down for about 15 minutes or more to let the stage dry off after the champange was sprayed all over the place.

Didn't spend a dime on her.

SeppeSai
05-04-2010, 01:09 PM
I've been to the club by work when a feature has played. The place was packed and the sound was deafening. When the feature came on stage, she did her thing but I had no interest whatsoever. As always, my favorite bartender, who worked that night, was better looking dressed than the feature was with next to nothing on. Funny how that works.

ariel1228
05-04-2010, 01:41 PM
Not a fan of features. Mainly because the club spends a bunch of $$$ on them,they stay 3 days and do the same set nearly everytime, and then the club turns off all the lights during their rediculously long sets and us dancers hardly ever get any kind of sales while the feature is on stage. It's a waste of time and money for us. The feature goes around selling dances for $60 while the house dancers can only sell dances for $25. How is that fair? The feature gets a whole chap room to herself to sell her crap and god forbid I need that chap room for a PAYING customer..i have to wait. Not cool. I've heard of features getting dressed in the dressing room with the "regular" girls but all the ones I've encountered got dressed in the office. We had one feature who was actually talented and did all sorts of different stuff but the other just did an exaggeration of what regular strippers do.

MissShyGirl
05-04-2010, 01:58 PM
Sadly most American features wouldn't know how to entertain if it bit them on the ass.

When I was featuring I had fire shows, cream shows, shower show(I traveled with my own shower I set up on stage), a champagne glass tub, pyro in certain clubs that allowed it, I could actually dance(which a lot of features don't know how to do) I had gymnastics and advanced pole work in my show. I was one of the few who came prepared to put on a show and make myself stand out.

I had a list a mile long of magazines appearances, tv appearances and won a lot of major titles. I held my own and made myself worth it. I was trained by some of the best and showed it.

When I was in the US and saw what passed for a feature I almost fainted. I was shocked as hell and was embarrassed to be considered a feature. It was pathetic. A girl in a tube dress and string bikini on her knees bouncing up and down? And she was paid a shit load of money. Yea, no wonder dancers and customers were complaining. I can't blame them.

I think if a girl is going to feature she should know how to put on a show and make herself stand out and be entertaining to everyone in the club.

As for getting changed in the office. Yea I was one of those girls who demanded her own changing room because there was no way in hell I was leaving thousands of dollars worth of costumes in a changing room with other girls. I've been a house dancer and know how sticky girls fingers get and I know how much house dancers hate the features and will do what they can to sabotage them. But I never considered myself above the house girls. I would talk to them, if guys asked me for dances I would refer him to the house girls(I didn't do private dances, didn't like to step on anyones toes) and if I had weed I would smoke a joint with the girls. I never snubbed my nose at the girls and would always make an effort to be friendly. I know how much it sucks when a feature comes in and the club doesn't want the girls hustling for dances during her show. I always told the club I didn't care if the girls hustled, they were there to make money too.

ariel1228
05-04-2010, 08:43 PM
I see your point with the costumes.
I have yet to see a feature that could do some good pole work. Most of them just prance around the pole.

Kylea2
05-05-2010, 01:27 AM
^^^ There are features who specialize in pole work - such as Nakita & Rain (http://www.eroticrain.com/).

When you travel it's really hard to be on the road and always make friends. Eventually you are just going to rub someone the wrong way, even though you may try really hard to be friendly. Once when I was sharing a dressing room with the local house dancers one of the girls spilled some sort of liquid all over my bag & the bag of one of my friends. I don't even know who it was, but since the bags were so far apart it was obviously on purpose. So would I want to trust my more expensive costumes to be left in the main dressing room? Probably not. Plus, like someone else said - we all know how things disappear in dressing rooms.

I like to see a girl who is a really great dancer. Probably 75% of the time when I house dance and another feature comes in the customers complain that the house dancers are better. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that customers like a more sensual dance and features are often pushed to be more fast paced, which takes away from the sensuality. Add to that the fact that a lot of features on the road have no dance training and never danced in the club until they started featuring... and you can see why features in the U.S. sometimes get such a bad reputation.

On the subject of the features charging more, that's typically because the clubs want the features to make most of their money on stage or from promo stuff (photos, autographs, etc). By having the feature's lap dance prices higher the clubs think that it discourages the customers from buying a lot of dances from the feature, so that the house girls will keep making money. It may not always work, but until someone comes up with a better system that's how it will be. In some clubs though features aren't allowed to give lap dances and some features won't offer them.

Also, the feature stage shows are normally 20 minutes.

jasmine22
05-05-2010, 01:32 AM
I love you for posting this! This is why i NEVER work features

Harleigh HellKat
05-05-2010, 01:50 AM
I met Rain about a month ago... she is very sweet and amazing on the pole.

I love her Bama accent... hehe we share the same birth state.

Andi Sue is also pretty cool... no pole though. I can't say anything negative about features... because I'd love to feature one day. Sadly, with the way the industry is going, I doubt I ever will.

KS_Stevia
05-05-2010, 09:54 AM
I've always made much money when features have been at my clubs. But I've also never had a female customer hike up her skirt with no panties underneath as I've danced for her. So I'm some lucky anomaly. That being said, I've never worked at a club that had features constantly, and management has never told me to stop hustling the guys because the feature was onstage.

Hence...all of the above custies who have complained about features, you 8 or so..would be my PERFECT target during the feature set!

ariel1228
05-05-2010, 10:15 AM
Thanks for the insight, Kylea.
20 minutes sounds about right but when she goes on 3x a night -- that's alot of wasted time for us, house dancers.
The club doesn't tell us to stop hustling...the guys are just too busy paying attention to the stage since that's where the only lights are. They make the whole room dark except for the stage.

Athenathefabulous
05-05-2010, 11:00 AM
some features bring in a lot more customers. i.e. jenna haze. but jenna haze also spits on herself on stage and told management to keep the dirty strippers away from her :O. Actually she was quite a bitch. but she did bring in a lot of customers.

so yea, the big names bring in a lot or those with a specialized fan base--- there was one indian porn star who came who was probably one of the 10 hottest women ive ever seen. and she was a total sweetheart too. she didnt bring in ah uge crowd,.... but she did bring in a lot of indian men. actually that night kind of sucked,... but watching her act on stage was entertaining for me. she put on a good show :shrug:.

bachelor parties are the worst. the deja vu clubs have an option where the bachelor can purchase a dance from several girls on stage... the catch is that the club keeps all the money. i got into a spat with management over this--- they tried to make me go on the stage so i did and i sat down with my arms crossed for the duration of the songs. It is a contractual violation since we arent employees-- i read through that mother fucker and there is a clause in there saying they cant make us dance for anyone we do not want to. so they tried to make me go on stage and i just made them look bad (they havent tried to make me go on stage since). so yea.... fuck bachelor parties. i will not participate in those!

yoda57us
05-05-2010, 11:03 AM
Hence...all of the above custies who have complained about features, you 8 or so..would be my PERFECT target during the feature set!

LOL, feature or not,I would have been a sitting duck...}:D

Hernando
05-07-2010, 09:41 PM
the club i go to probably loses very little in LD $. The drinks are still flowing. It gives them something to advertise, some reason to put up a sign. That said, I hate them, and will usually leave when it begins. Pretty lame to be one of a few hundred guys looking at one high mileage girl. I don't even like it when the guy next to me is peeking at my girl during a lap/table dance.

Kylea2
05-07-2010, 09:47 PM
Wait, are you trying to insinuate that all features are "high mileage"/extras in the lap dance room?

Hernando
05-07-2010, 09:57 PM
What I'm saying is that most of the features that I've seen are high mileage porn stars of middling fame, who would probably just be an average looking dancer at a good club. Not worthy of a whole club's attention, for five minutes, much less thirty.

And in the LD room, the couches are probably nasty (esp from a germaphobe pov) if only for the sweat, but probably some other stuff too--saliva, spunk, ass crack, whatever.

startngate
05-08-2010, 07:56 PM
I don't mind a good feature dancer, meaning one that knows how to dance and has good routines in her performances.

There are so few 'local' dancers that even know how to dance any more, that I enjoy seeing someone with true talent on stage. Have found that the 'non porn star' features are usually the best, but understand that they won't draw the big crowds to the club.