View Full Version : Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chgojoe
05-24-2010, 09:35 PM
Most of the discussion so far has revolved around the financial aspects, and the loss of privacy and freedom of having a parent move in. Perhaps because I am quite a bit older than most of you I am looking at the situation from a different perspective.
Before I started planning out the logistics I would discuss the matter with every family member I could talk to, and every aquaitence of his that I could. I would think about my relationship with him as well as his relationship with others in the family and his friends. I would want to totally get in touch with my feelings for him and think what our relationship has been and what we have meant to, and done for each other. I would also think about what will become of him if I don't take him in, and what it would do to my relationship with him if I didn't take him in.
The decisions you make regarding this could cause you a sense of accomplishment or a huge case of guilt that may follow you for years. Some things about him I picked up sound very troubling such as heavy weed use, talk of suicide, etc. From what has been said I get the feeling that you aren't very close and you have a lot of questions about his motives and little idea of how he will plan on living his life.
My advice is to first figure out your feelings about him and the situation, and after that go about figuring out the logistics.
Mr Hyde
05-24-2010, 10:41 PM
Mr. Hyde,
I'd be appalled if I were your father!
I'm not saying she shouldn't help him, I'm saying she shouldn't let him move in with her. The guy has threatened to kill himself. Being around that 24/7 is not healthy for her. Honestly, if my 50-something father, apparently addicted to pot, talked about killing himself...told me he wanted to move in with me, but was also totally against my way of making a living and his move-in threatened that ability, I'd be more interested in getting him some mental health counseling than helping him feed his pot habit and putting him up. The guy should theoretically live for 25-30 more years. Is she gonna live with him that long?
Again, I'm not saying that she shouldn't help him, and I would even let him move in with me for a little while...but long term, she needs her space. I just hope she manages this well...
threlayer
05-28-2010, 07:31 PM
^^^Actually you were wrong on all counts. :)
sooo.....how's that working out for ya?
Zinaida
05-28-2010, 10:38 PM
How do you mean?
It's a fact that the things you suspected are not true. But it's a very complex situation, I've only given the absolute minimum details on it, I'm not surprised or upset that anyone has come to the wrong conclusions involving any of it.
Melonie
05-28-2010, 11:50 PM
Most of the discussion so far has revolved around the financial aspects, and the loss of privacy and freedom of having a parent move in. Perhaps because I am quite a bit older than most of you I am looking at the situation from a different perspective.
Since Zin chose to post this thread in the Dollar Den, and specifically cited the potential impact on her ability to conduct her business i.e. earning money via webcam and/or road trips, it's not surprising that the majority of responses have been financial in nature. In fact, a 50% economic content is a ( supposed ) condition of all Dollar Den threads.
Zinaida
05-29-2010, 09:24 PM
^^^True dat.
I want my father to be able to have his last few years alive in San Diego(he does not have much time left I am convinced, although not 100% certain of course!). He was born here, lived here for maybe a decade and has never been back, has always wanted to so badly. I do want him to be able to live here, I don't enjoy paying for it of course!
I'm gonna leave him here while I travel. It's just scary because I'm worried that I'm going to hate work now. It's pretty easy I feel to make a couple hundred bucks a night in a stripclub, but if I was content with that kind of money I'd just keep doing what I'm solely doing now. But frankly, a couple hundred bucks a 'shift,' even if I NEVER took a day off, is not going to get me anywhere near $200,000 a year. Especially considering my now high cost of living. I am literally going to need to be having like, $800+ nights on a constant basis. From everything I'm hearing from girls in the clubs now that is no easy feat! BUT, I know that it does still happen, I just have to be where it's possible, get there and work my ass off. I just fear that this may burn me out and make me miserable.
Back to my father though, we haven't told my sister yet that he is moving out here, when he tells her she may become extremely upset at the idea of him being so far away for the first time in her life that she may demand he not go...not something she can really do though since he's basically homeless and she is struggling with three children. But, she is the sister I mentioned who is relocating to the midwest for a cheaper living standard. I 'hinted' to my father that should he ever want to live with her it would be a lot cheaper for me to keep him there rather than here!
It's just so odd because in my mind, I really do NOT see him ever living here, and if I can't picture something, it usually never ends up happening. And there's a bunch of other stuff involving a tarot card reading he had years ago....some bizarre stuff that I should not consider credible lol...but I don't know. I really do want him to finally come here and live out his dream...I just hate that I am footing the bill!!