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jennsweet
06-24-2010, 06:42 PM
wait you get off to porn? but hate it when ur boyfriend does the same thing? im not knocking you, im just trying to understand??

Kisca
06-24-2010, 07:12 PM
I dont mind porn if my boyfriend watches it. But as two people mentioned on two different topics.. it does bother me when females look like damn 14 y.o on camera with pink tails and all that crap. If she looked at least 18 then its fine. I find it very very disturbing.. I guess there is a strong market for it but why make her act and look like a preteen. This makes me wonder, I see so many men staring at young girls in their cars while they walk by.. eughh, is it to porn? And it seems like these girls that are younger than 18 are dressing worse and worse and getting into sex younger, which worries me.

Also when men think why the girl isnt getting pleasure "since im doing what he was doing in that porno" that disgusts me. Im glad i never dealt with that but whoever did, oh I feel sorry for you. He will learn in time but they should know its still a movie and a movie takes editing, acting and its fake!

charlie61
06-24-2010, 07:52 PM
wait you get off to porn? but hate it when ur boyfriend does the same thing? im not knocking you, im just trying to understand??

Yes...and I realize how hypocritical that is...which is why I'm not mad at my SO! That's why I'm so confused; I'm trying to figure out why it bothers me that he watches it, but it doesn't bother me that I watch it..

As a disclaimer, my SO doesn't treat me like we're in a porno or anything. That isn't the issue. He's extremely selfless and caring in bed, and listens well. Too bad I'm asexual. :)

msincredible01
06-24-2010, 09:25 PM
So I just watched some porn...which made me ;D at first then go :O bc I've realized more to my theory...

Go into a bakery..you want a cupcake, there are 3 cupcakes, your decision is simple, you pick the one you like best correct? Now imagine walking into a bakery with hundreds of cupcakes all a little bit different from eachother.All delicious looking... you want that one, no! now that one! but wait this one looks better...then you start noticing the details on 'em to make your decision.

With so much variety in porn comes curiousity. One man (or woman) can sit down and browse through every type of body type, breast size and shape, and kitties! Everythings super upclose and finely detailed, what if through all this porn watching my bf suddenly likes a vagina thats different from mine? Or developes a liking towards breasts that are different from mine? And now this is where some SW's come in and say "But guys don't knitpick (did i spell that right?) the details, they're just happy to see a vagina" and while thats accurate in our line of work when other senses are involved and the fact that its real, porn is all visuals, sound illusion. So we end up with some guys who are so used to seeing pornpussy that they can begin picking favorite shapes and looks. Maybe some of us feel like we're in competition with pornos...im pretty sure i feel that way.

As polite as he is...my bf notices alot on my body that is probably bc of porn.
"You're assholes so clean, do you ever need to shave it? Do you bleach it?"
"I love how small and blahlala your nipples look!"
"Don't ever change your pussy I love it exactly how it is!"

Almost verbatim quotes. But theres always going to be someone in porn with smaller nipples or a cleaner asshole. Some guys who find qualities they like through porn will go try to find it in real life even though their gfs or wives are real ppl and their porn fantasy is just that; a fantasy. I would know I've encountered some at work. And porn is pretty much all about the girl. The main focus is all female parts, dicks are simply a prop might i add. In porn clips the angling tries to hide as much of the guy as possible except for his cock of course. He's in the background or half way out of the shot bc its oriented towards a male audience..

We have alot more sexual competition than women 55 years ago had..and we're competing against internet porn, porn mags n movies, cellphone Porn, mass advertising, selling ordinary objects with sex, ect. Maybe this is why our generation of women are more hostile and judgemental about each other.. In the 50's them little housewives would gather around coffee and talk about what tarts that Bettie Paige and Marilyn Monroe were and We've got sex plastered up everywhere these days. Am i thinking way too deep into this??

charlie61
06-24-2010, 09:29 PM
So I just watched some porn...which made me ;D at first then go :O bc I've realized more to my theory...

Go into a bakery..you want a cupcake, there are 3 cupcakes, your decision is simple, you pick the one you like best correct? Now imagine walking into a bakery with hundreds of cupcakes all a little bit different from eachother.All delicious looking... you want that one, no! now that one! but wait this one looks better...then you start noticing the details on 'em to make your decision.



Interesting analogy..I wonder if this is part of why it bothers me. It's like, porn is now inherently personal because there is such a huge variety of women. It's no longer a randomized tool for masturbation.

charlie61
06-24-2010, 09:33 PM
As polite as he is...my bf notices alot on my body that is probably bc of porn.
"You're assholes so clean, do you ever need to shave it? Do you bleach it?"
"I love how small and blahlala your nipples look!"
"Don't ever change your pussy I love it exactly how it is!"


Yeah, for some reason comments like these bother me too. It's like "Yeah, I know I have a porn-tastic body. I'm a stripper. People pay me lots of money to look like this."

Maybe I'm worried that he won't be attracted to me when my body starts its inevitable decline as I age. :-\

Men, no matter their ages, will always have access to 20 year old porn stars via the web. Even if he's still with me when I'm 50, I fear that I'll always worry that he wants to be with the younger version of me. Why can't aging be beautiful too?

(Don't get me wrong, I'm not usually this melodramatic about everything. We have a beautiful relationship. I just get worked up when I think hard about it.)

CKXXX
06-25-2010, 09:39 AM
Yeah, for some reason comments like these bother me too. It's like "Yeah, I know I have a porn-tastic body. I'm a stripper. People pay me lots of money to look like this."

Maybe I'm worried that he won't be attracted to me when my body starts its inevitable decline as I age. :-\

Men, no matter their ages, will always have access to 20 year old porn stars via the web. Even if he's still with me when I'm 50, I fear that I'll always worry that he wants to be with the younger version of me. Why can't aging be beautiful too?

(Don't get me wrong, I'm not usually this melodramatic about everything. We have a beautiful relationship. I just get worked up when I think hard about it.)

Theres more to love then looks. I've been with my husband for 13+ yrs. I'm pushing 40. There are tons of women out there that are younger, harder bodied, etc...then me. But in HIS eyes...I'll always be the hottest chick around. Because he loves me. And vice versa. He's in his 40's, has a gut, etc...but I'd never in a million years leave him for a younger hard body. Because I love him. And thats all that matters.

jennsweet
06-25-2010, 09:39 AM
cupcakes, randomized tools, hating bf's, and hating pornstars.... lol, ur all so complicated! look at the hot stud with the big cock pounding some submissive whore... get wet, get off, done.

~but thats just me!

Kisca
06-25-2010, 10:40 AM
cupcakes, randomized tools, hating bf's, and hating pornstars.... lol, ur all so complicated! look at the hot stud with the big cock pounding some submissive whore... get wet, get off, done.

~but thats just me!

Yah true, thats a good way to think of it. Men look at various of porn at the end of the day, its porn and nothing more. Their with you and not the porn

AudrinaN
06-26-2010, 04:34 PM
Another problem I had was that I was with a man that virtually never fucked me, and he always would attribute that to his "low sex drive." Meanwhile he could/would jerk it to porn QUITE frequently. I even caught him watching it on his computer early one morning when he thought I was asleep in the other room. And he tried to lie lie lie to my face about it. Said it was a pop-up advertisement... Sigh.





Exact same thing here. He has this pile of (ugh sickens me to say) t-shirts he uses to jack into in the corner of his closet (yeah he doesnt wash em,they are reusable nut collectors)I can peek at it in the morning, go to work, come home, and look at the pile of shirts..the top tshirt moved a little...which tells me he came home for a lunch break, eerr, a nut. It kinda hurts me feelings, like....was this morning not good enough for you when we had sex? or.... at bedtime im thinkin in my head..im lyin here naked...and u tell me ur not horny? did the porn drain u that much? is it THAT much better than me? it makes me resent the porn a lot.
He denies having watching it that day when I ask him bout it...but he has NO CLUE that i know bout that lil pile of tshirts in the corner. He probably wonders HOW DOES SHE KNOW THIS STUFF????? lol Next time when he denies it imma say "Baby....look at ur right hand, every time u jack,i see this muscle pop a little.... " lololol

Now on the other hand. I LOVE porn. Nasty, big Mandingo type interracial type porn. I even have some saved in my favorites. But i watch it maybe, once or twice a week... and if he happens to come home right after i nut already, i could STILL jump on him and want it. If HE was the same way, I would be cool with it. But porn takes me place a lot of times.

Gosh, I talk a lot, sorry OP. I couldnt offer much advice, but...I guess im sayin ur not alone... ?

MelancholyChloe
06-27-2010, 09:44 AM
I view sex in such a different manner. I believe in primalistic ways, because evolutionary wise sexually, we haven't come very. far. I mean you have to still manually process dna :) ok, so what I am trying to get at is say if we were in the wild, what would guys do, they would see a couple doing it out in a meadow while hunting, they would then instinctually want to get. some. No female around, they would watch and then probably jerk off. That's why guys constantly need other women. Younger women is evolution also.... think about it. Most older women in society were dead due to child birth. Instinctively a man would have to go younger to keep his dna flowing for species sake. Porn really isn't anything more than cyber primative release.

MelancholyChloe
06-27-2010, 09:48 AM
I really had to think in a way that wouldn't get me too upset because nice guys love porn as much as the perverts

charlie61
06-27-2010, 11:18 AM
Porn really isn't anything more than cyber primative release.

Lol. I love this!! Seriously though, it's kind of a helpful perspective!

mediocrity
06-27-2010, 03:02 PM
Charlie, please don't take offense to what I am about to ask. I just don't know how else to phrase it, and have a very limited knowledge of asexuality.

You say you want your SO to be attracted to you when you're 50. To me, attraction means sexual- like, when my husband says I look beautiful or sexy et al, I know he is expressing he finds me sexually attractive and I welcome that. I keep myself in tip top shape ( as does he ) because I want him to want to have sex with me.

You say you emotional monogamous and sexually non-monogamous. So theoretically, if he was still loving emotionally towards you; comforting, sweet gestures, cuddling etc, he could get the sex part somewhere else? So why does the porn matter, or him being attracted you in a sexual manner?

I'm just trying to understand.

charlie61
06-27-2010, 03:15 PM
Charlie, please don't take offense to what I am about to ask. I just don't know how else to phrase it, and have a very limited knowledge of asexuality.

You say you want your SO to be attracted to you when you're 50. To me, attraction means sexual- like, when my husband says I look beautiful or sexy et al, I know he is expressing he finds me sexually attractive and I welcome that. I keep myself in tip top shape ( as does he ) because I want him to want to have sex with me.

You say you emotional monogamous and sexually non-monogamous. So theoretically, if he was still loving emotionally towards you; comforting, sweet gestures, cuddling etc, he could get the sex part somewhere else? So why does the porn matter, or him being attracted you in a sexual manner?

I'm just trying to understand.

No worries! It's pretty damn complicated.

I'm asexual, but my SO and I still have sex. I love making him feel good, and it is an intimate act (albeit physically useless to me). Because I know that he's a sexual being, it's important to me that he's sexually attracted to me. It would signal a drastic change in our relationship if he were to stop being attracted to me. And I genuinely love that he is attracted to me sexually.

I find my SO very attractive, and I am attracted to him, but not in a sexual way. I fantasize about him, etc, but I feel no need to act on it physically. Yes--if you aren't asexual, this is a very difficult thing to understand.

And you're right; we are sexually non-monogamous. However, we don't tend to take advantage of this option. The farthest I've ever gone with it lately is kissing, and once he's received oral from someone else. My SO is naturally monogamous--he would be happy sleeping with only me for the rest of my life. So if anything happens outside of the relationship on his side, it's usually very circumstantial and not something he's sought out.

In conclusion: if he were to stop being attracted to me (and I don't actually fear that...my fear of that is something akin to a child being afraid of the dark-->it's unreasonable and fleeting), then that would indicate that something had changed between us. Which would not be okay with me.

Does that make any sense?

mediocrity
06-27-2010, 03:50 PM
^^ Complicated, but yes it does in a way. Thank you for clearing that up.

luckischalk
07-10-2010, 08:58 PM
My husband doesn't watch porn unless we watch it together, but I like watching it with him.