View Full Version : If you could do it over, would you be a stripper again?
Harleigh HellKat
07-15-2010, 02:03 PM
I was 22 when I tried to file fafsa and didn't get jack. I basically was LAUGHED at because I was still 'dependent'. I hadn't lived at home since I was 18, but because I wasn't 25 and had no kids, I didn't qualify for anything but shady loans for an overpriced, ghetto beauty school.
How is someone who is 22 years old and lives states away from their, by the way, SINGLE parent, who has lived on their own for several years, CAN PROVE they've lived on their own, and makes 200 dollars a week still 'dependent'???
I can guarantee that when I turn 25 I'll be turned down for fafsa again, no matter how much I make. So I don't have much faith in getting 'help' for school. Fuck it, I'll find my own damn way.
Hehe, end rant.
Harleigh HellKat
07-15-2010, 05:04 PM
Nope, not since I was like.... 18. It's freakin retarded. The year before that I worked cleaning houses. I was a freaking MAID but couldn't get financial aid. WTF?
Kellydancer
07-15-2010, 10:05 PM
^ kelly, i agree with you 110% yet again. seems to me that if your childless, there aint no fin aid for you...regardless of age or (lack of) income. i think i already mentioned this in my previous post on this thread but mebbe some people didnt see it -- i KNOW more than one "cotinueing ed"/adult student over the age of 25 who filled out their fafsa form and didnt get JACK in fin aid grants. nothing but the standard stafford loan (which has a MUCH higher % int rate these days by the way). and thats considering that both people i knew had small, paltry incomes too -- annual incomes of <$25,000 due to having been laid off from their jobs in the yr prior. no surprise here that both of these old, financially challenged friends were childless, huh?
kelly, i also agree with your point about it being harder to have a child while stripping. i also mentioned this in my previous post -- stripping does NOT have group health benefits, paid maternity leave, paid sick days (in case you have pregnancy-related health issues, or in case your small child is sick and you need to stay home that day), etc. yea you can buy your own health ins and save up a bundle of money to use while you leave stripping during your pregnancy, but its still not nearly as convenient as having these things available to you.
also, once the kids reach school age, the work hrs of a stripper arent very compatable with the lives of children. a standard 9-5 day job is good becuz it almost completely overlaps with kids school schedules. most schools get out at ~3pm, but most also offer after school programs and stuff to kill the time between when school lets out and when most adults get out of their fulltime job. then that gives you the whole evening and into the nite to spend with your kids, helping them with homework, tucking them into bed, etc. oh and you get off weekends when the kids are off too. now compare that to working the typical stripper's work schedule. most strippers work during nite -- thats when theres usually more customers, and not all clubs are even open during daytime. that means the stripper is able to pick up her kids at 3, but only has a few hrs to spend with them before running off to work. and then after working a late nite (prolly getting home past 1am or so), she has to wake up early in the morning with minimal sleep to get her kids off to school. i mean, a stripper could try to work day shift or try to find a way to make it work, but its more difficult than a standard day job would be.
I know this one woman who lost her job last year, got unemployment and was denied Pell, while a friend made $50,000 and got it. The reason? The other woman had kids. Single childless people just can't get as much aid and it's not right. They need to change it.
That's another main reason I never considered kids while dancing: insurance. Right now I am checking into jobs with insurance in the event I do have kids. Otherwise it's thousands of dollars out of pocket. Oh sure, I could have a kid on tax payers dime, but not going there, lol. I was so self centered then about money that I wouldn't have been able to deal with kids then. Now if/when I have kids either me or the potential father can drop them off at one of the grandparents house, then we could go to work and pick them up. Perfect all around because we would save money (though I would pay the grandparents) plus the kids would be with people I trust most of all. When I was dancing I can't imagine having parents watch them at night.
carmenssecret
08-09-2010, 12:27 PM
it's long and complicated for me, but i guess the short answer is yes, if i could still have met the same people i hold dear now, no if i could still have them without venturing down that path.
If yo do, make a plan and stick with it.
thanx
kthnx
09-05-2010, 06:08 AM
I know this one woman who lost her job last year, got unemployment and was denied Pell, while a friend made $50,000 and got it. The reason? The other woman had kids. Single childless people just can't get as much aid and it's not right. They need to change it.
That's another main reason I never considered kids while dancing: insurance. Right now I am checking into jobs with insurance in the event I do have kids. Otherwise it's thousands of dollars out of pocket. Oh sure, I could have a kid on tax payers dime, but not going there, lol. I was so self centered then about money that I wouldn't have been able to deal with kids then. Now if/when I have kids either me or the potential father can drop them off at one of the grandparents house, then we could go to work and pick them up. Perfect all around because we would save money (though I would pay the grandparents) plus the kids would be with people I trust most of all. When I was dancing I can't imagine having parents watch them at night.
theres website forums devoted to perceived "childless discrimination". most of the peeps on those sites are from europe, where they have an actual literal "childlessness tax" for childless peeps over ~30-35 yrs old or so. in europe they DEPEND on people having kids so their kids can later contribute towards all the social security programs they have. this might explain why the us follows this to some extent too, becuz they see kids as an investment in securing the future elderly generation. doesnt make it right tho.
yea it stinks. the avg kid costs about $7-12,000/yr. additional kids past the 1st one are a lil cheaper becuz u can reuse some of the baby equipment (carseats, highchairs, cribs, clothes, etc). and alot of things like food are cheaper in bulk. and some kid-related expenses are tax deducitble, like childcare. so the friend who was making $50,000/yr + had kids prolly STILL had more money (atleast a lil more) left over after covering all child-related expenses, than the friend who was on unemployment. yet the $50,000/yr chick got fin aide but the one on unemployment didnt. yet another example of childless discrimination.
[quote=prettysammie;1948166] So I was wondering how many of you would go into stripping again if you could live your life over? quote]
I dunno, it's 50/50. Part of me says hell yeah. The other half says nooo.
There are so many good things that have come out of dancing, but I can equal that list with the bad and the way business is right now... I wouldn't wish this job on my enemy. My views on life, people, and working have all changed and not necessarily for the better. The skills that I've perfected as a dancer do translate into the real world, but not in the ways that you think. It's a blessing and a curse to be in this business.
Everyone is affected in different ways, but if I did do this all over again I would SAVE, SAVE, SAVE and tell my loved ones NO when they asked for money. I would live waay below my means, almost like a poor man, and invest. I would have something to show for all my hard years as a slave to this industry.
:-\
Kellydancer
09-05-2010, 04:18 PM
theres website forums devoted to perceived "childless discrimination". most of the peeps on those sites are from europe, where they have an actual literal "childlessness tax" for childless peeps over ~30-35 yrs old or so. in europe they DEPEND on people having kids so their kids can later contribute towards all the social security programs they have. this might explain why the us follows this to some extent too, becuz they see kids as an investment in securing the future elderly generation. doesnt make it right tho.
yea it stinks. the avg kid costs about $7-12,000/yr. additional kids past the 1st one are a lil cheaper becuz u can reuse some of the baby equipment (carseats, highchairs, cribs, clothes, etc). and alot of things like food are cheaper in bulk. and some kid-related expenses are tax deducitble, like childcare. so the friend who was making $50,000/yr + had kids prolly STILL had more money (atleast a lil more) left over after covering all child-related expenses, than the friend who was on unemployment. yet the $50,000/yr chick got fin aide but the one on unemployment didnt. yet another example of childless discrimination.
I didn't know they taxed childless a tax for not having kids. That is discrimination. I know in the USA the childless pay more in taxes (which I find discrimination) but not an additional tax. I know in Europe they are very generous to new parents, which is nice, but not nice knowing it's on the backs of the childless. Reminds me of the welfare system here. I can't get a lot of assistance though right now I am unemployed. However if I had several kids I could get a lot.
Kylea2
09-05-2010, 04:29 PM
I would absolutely do it again ... and I would also have started as soon as I turned 18 and not 'waste my time' obtaining a college degree and working at a 'straight job'.
I did start right away, but I 100% agree with Melonie. If I wanted an education I would have waited until later... over 24/25 whatever the current age was to claim "independent" status on FAFSA. I wouldn't have placed so much emphasis on always having a mainstream job. I also wouldn't have listened to others (like my mom, aunts, etc) who only served to hold me back & tell me why I couldn't/shouldn't do all the adult modeling work rather than why I COULD & SHOULD! Sigh... I wasted so many years listening to ignorant people.
anouk.oui
09-06-2010, 09:07 AM
my only regret is not starting as soon as i hit 18. thats two years of a decent economy i wasted doing cafe work. and i wouldve put away more money when i was doing really well when i first started [though i thought it would somehow always pay this well so i kept spending till my money ran out]
i look at my old earnings which i dont see any of anymore and wonder where it went. perhaps i should look for an answer in my wardrobe for that one..
it hasnt changed me negatively, unless you count me being bitchy when people want to waste my energy or push me into things im not keen on doing. also have nights usually fri sat, when i decide to have entire generations and the male gender, luckly it doesnt last long enough and i have an amazing man at home to prove me every night there is still hope. i am naturally honest and outspoken and sometimes when i have to shut up and alter personality traits in order to make cash i feel quite repressed. I dont feel exploited most of the time because there is only so much i can deal with before i press for security and have the fucker dragged out.
thanks to stripping i am now a lot more confident, can talk to just about anyone in any situation [before i wouldnt talk to anyone who looked more than 5 years older because what could we possibly have in common], i became more of a go-getter and made opportunities for myself when there were none and learnt to recognise one easy should a useful opportunity come my way. i can read people in minutes and talk my way into or out of anything. I have access to money people my age or qualification can only hope for years down the track.
KS_Stevia
09-08-2010, 01:06 AM
I don't know. I'm torn. On one hand, I got to be a "beautiful" girl for some years, getting paid for my looks, figure, and charming sex appeal. When younger, I didn't see myself that way. I got to travel places, have a blast, make good money.
But it also enabled me to maintain a pretty nasty drug habit, and is the ultimate enabler of lazy, due to the quick money. I believe I might be even farther in my career now had I not ever done it.
But who knows, it made me the person I am today, and I'm rather proud of it personally, although not many people can know. Then again, its never been a stigma for me and I have no guilt about getting naked for thousands of men and flirting/rubbing/performing sexual acts for money.
Kellydancer
09-08-2010, 08:30 PM
I don't know. I'm torn. On one hand, I got to be a "beautiful" girl for some years, getting paid for my looks, figure, and charming sex appeal. When younger, I didn't see myself that way. I got to travel places, have a blast, make good money.
This was one of the lasting effects that really messed with my mind. Between dancing and modeling I developed a superiority complex where I thought I was better looking than most people (and in reality I was). I rejected average guys and even made fun of them. Everyone has heard about the guy I love, but what I rarely talk about is how I was sometimes downright cruel to him about this. I would often tell him he was too "ugly" for me though I really wanted him (and he's not very attractive and insecure about his looks to begin with). He wasn't my only victim and it's only now I realized how mean I could be. As I got older I realized that I was a superficial bitch. When the jobs started drying up, including several clients dropping me in both dancing and modeling then I truly realized how terrible being judged on looks really is.
Harleigh HellKat
09-12-2010, 08:07 AM
I think it made me mean too. The money gets to you. The lack of money gets to you as well.
Kellydancer
09-12-2010, 12:46 PM
I think it made me mean too. The money gets to you. The lack of money gets to you as well.
I'll never forget days where I'd walk out with little money after dancing 8 hours. Dancing as we all know is like being on a roller coaster and some days you are high after making a lot of money and days you are on a low for making little/nothing. Luckily I've never had to owe a club, but there were a few times where I walked out with nothing or something like $10. It really gets to dancers especially if it's a packed club, almost everyone else is banking and you are not (had this happen). Of course there's been times where I was the only one who made money so you get an self inflated ego.
If I have a daughter and she's blessed with good looks I will tell her never to rely only on her looks. Sure, it might help her in the beginning but rely mostly on her brain. If heaven forbid she became a dancer (I would hope not but if she's an adult it's her choice) I would tell her to use it as a stepping stone to other things. I don't want her to repeat many of the things I did. I don't want her to reject quality men because they aren't "hot". I don't want her to think because she's pretty that gives her an excuse to be mean to others.
GlitterBexie
10-07-2010, 07:23 PM
I just regret not starting earlier, i wish id done it through uni, i wish id not gone to uni and done what i wanted to do at 16 and trained to be a beauty therpist! Uni was great fun but for the most part i hated it!
I was worried about regretting doing it but to be honest, its been the best thing ive ever done, i missed it when i gave it up and i cant wait to get back to it!
Weigh up the pro's and con's of dancing, what you are worried about regretting as it were and go from there, or just give it a try, you can only try! If you dont like it, walk away, if you do, embrace it!
JayATee
10-23-2010, 01:46 AM
Yes I would, with some majorly epic changes...
charlie61
10-23-2010, 07:45 AM
Yes I would, with some majorly epic changes...
Haha, like if money rained from the rafters and customers lined up to pay $20/song just to get within 20 feet of us? Yes....that suddenly seems much more tolerable!
_Avery_
10-23-2010, 08:33 AM
Nope.
I would have finished school and done something else.
Not that I regret dancing, just regret not having a backup plan.
Never wanted to feel "stuck".
I wish I would have realized when I first started dancing that dancing won't ALWAYS be good money. I miss the days of guys asking ME if they could get a dance. Ah, it use to be so easy.
Now it drains my soul.
Yeah, DEFINITELY would've finished high school, went to college and did something else.
(have no idea if I already answered this..oh well)
JayATee
10-25-2010, 12:47 PM
Haha, like if money rained from the rafters and customers lined up to pay $20/song just to get within 20 feet of us? Yes....that suddenly seems much more tolerable!
Well now that you mention it...
No, I would've moved out of my current city and started dancing much much younger to avoid the catastrophe that occurred at my old club.
astarisborn
10-25-2010, 03:36 PM
I wouldn't trade dancing for the world.
I've "lost" a lot along the way, but in my mind ... it feels like the things I lost sort of fell away as a natural reaction to how much I was changing. Like a butterfly shedding the cocoon :)
I am more self confident, more assured in my abilities to support myself, more resourceful. I'm a much better judge of character, I notice everything about a person's demeanor and am able to make quick calls as to what type of person they are. I am more self-aware and unafraid of my own sexuality and it's power. I could go on forever.
Dancing has had some horribly painful moments for me, but I returned to it (and would again) because it opened my eyes to another side of life and another side of myself that I am sure would have remained latent and suppressed for my entire existene if I had never embraced this one single thing in my life.