View Full Version : Is it wrong to give my mother money?
carmenssecret
08-10-2010, 10:53 PM
In some Asian cultures, the elders in a family (parents, grandparents) are seen as more important than children. For example: I vaguely remember my cultural geography teacher telling a story about her friend who was an immigrant that escaped from Vietnam, and he told her when he was on a sinking boat with his family they made him and the other children get off the boat and stand up to their neck in water while the adults stayed aboard... :O
But I totally agree with Malaya and her parents' views that she shared, my dad is from South America and he would never ever ask any of his 7 children to pay him for rent or food. His house is open for us if we ever need a place to stay. He also complains to me about the "American way" of kicking your kids out of the house as soon as they turn 18. He can't believe it! I'm sure if he had things his way my six siblings and I would all still be living at his house..lol
Sorry, no offense to you! I understand your dad feels the "American Way" and not you! But I Hate StereoTypes! This is NOT an American Way its just the way certain ppl think!
Just wanted to clarify not necessarily towards you personally! I just hate when ppl stereotype
malayataylor
09-02-2010, 03:54 PM
For the Majority it is..
malayataylor
09-02-2010, 03:57 PM
Im actually African-American My parents are the same way[freely giving and would never ask for rent (just maybe wash the dishes from every once in a while)]! It actually frustrates my mother at times that I dont like to ask her and my father for things! so they always offer stuff to me even when I moved to another city they begged me to come home and even live with them rent free! Im so grateful! Girl Get your own spot! There is nothing like walking into your own!!! It's your sanctuary or vacation from the World! Trust me you'll loooove it
Since you quoted me I take it you're referring to me. Did you read that I didn't have my own place? Read again. I have my own place and It is VERY FAB too. I love it. A few sw'ers have been here.. ask them about it.
Most American families really are that way. Yeah you may not like stereotypes but they exists.. what are you going to do about it? Focus on yourself.
Elvia
09-02-2010, 04:36 PM
^^^ I agree with you, Malaya. It does seem to be the American way. I think it's a result of Americans having fetishized capitalism and individualism to the point where we've lost a lot of compassion.
malayataylor
09-02-2010, 04:41 PM
I think it's a result of Americans having fetishized capitalism and individualism to the point where we've lost a lot of compassion.
Very very well said here.
bammbiidearest
12-31-2010, 03:13 AM
It's controlling behavior and it's best to move out! What is happening to your brother is how my mom wants me to be! I have to live states away from her because she's so controlling and oppressive. At 1800 a month, she's making exponentially more than minimum wage, AND getting benefits from the government because she has 'no income'!
This reminds me of my mom, who can't handle her money. When I was 18 and making minimum wage, she'd borrow money from me to pay bills or her bank overdrafts, while she's not far away from making 6 figures herself. I never saw any child support, and didn't have a college fund. She has nothing to retire on and is in her late fifties because she lives like a shopping addicted teenager.
She made the decision to have kids, so she should act more responsibly, as Yuki stated above.
My mother is the exact same way. I will never understand why she thinks that's okay. I shouted a huge "THANK you!!!" when I saw this. Sometimes I try to tell myself there is a good reason for my she does the things she does, but there isn't.
GlitterBexie
12-31-2010, 08:06 PM
When i lived at home i paid £200 (about $310) a month to my parents, i got all my food, electricity etc, and lifts everywhere (to work and back etc) laundry done if i wanted it done. I was earning about £700 a month (without dancing) and thought it was fair, my Mum always said it was to teach me that nothing in life is free (lol) and that in ''real life'' you have to pay for living.
FiendishGyrator
01-01-2011, 04:28 AM
So-- OP, what's the update? You move out? How's the relationship with your mom?