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MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 09:35 AM
Hey single guy, when a guy says "if we have kids" are they thinking of you as a potential mother of their future children?


I personally never ask this question. I actually really like kids, and I think I'm an exception to that rule. Most guys I know would prefer if you didn't have children. I think they view it as a complication for them to get what they want. Maybe there's a stigma attached to single Moms they're going to be more cautious about who they bring home, what speed they take the relationship, etc. I don't think most guys want to deal with that. I mean, I guess from that standpoint I wouldn't really either. If I was feeling someone I would prefer it progressed at the natural rate as opposed to someone being overprotective, but I just don't mind kids that much. I'm kind of a big kid myself.

There are alot of exceptions to this I'm just generalizing, b/c I think it applies to most guys. I can say this tho, I don't know of any guys who look at a woman and think "kids". If we did then the birth rate would be alot lower in this country.

MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 09:47 AM
I've got one.

I'm married to a completely wonderful guy, he's loyal, intelligent, and drop dead gorgeous. I'm polyamorous by nature, but I am completely monogamous with him and would never cheat. I am totally up for threesomes, watching porn, going to the strip club etc, but he isn't comfortable with doing these things with me. He'll go to the strip club with me but seems a bit uneasy there, even though I know he used to go with his mates when he was in the Marines. I know he used to watch tons of porn when he was single. Why doesn't he feel comfortable with doing this stuff with me? I thought I was a man's dream come true being into all this stuff, but I feel like I have to repress it around him.


This is alot like the relationship I had with my ex. She always wanted to go out and I'm more of a homebody. I wasn't super experienced when we first met either, not sure about your guy, but that could be a factor. It wasn't just enough to go out for her. If we were at a club she had to be in the center of the dance floor dancing provocatively all up on me or with another girl. I think she definitely got off on other ppl watching her/us. She'd ask me to have with her in public too, which I did a few times, but wasn't necessarily comfortable with it.

I know for me, it wasn't an issue of being comfortable with the actual acts or experiences, b/c I almost always wound up doing them. It was more having them pushed on me. Almost like do this or I'm going to throw a fit. I'm not saying thats your approach, thats just how I felt my ex would jam stuff down my throat.

So I would ask him about that first, do you feel I'm too forceful or pushy about doing these things? Are you okay with doing these things? If so, let me go at his own pace, just let it be known its something you enjoy and definitely want to see happen at some point. Also, its okay to be more reserved and thats just how some ppl are. Its not something that will change overnight. It sounds like you're very understanding of him tho, so I think a conversation about him taking the lead will help.

MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 09:49 AM
ask anything..........
ok ....
have you ever got so drunk, high , etc.. that you peed in ur eye?????
I have always wondered if that is possible....
yup

lol, no can't say that I have. I'm not much of a drinker. Just a social drinker really, or a nice glass of wine with dinner, but very rarely.

I would think a quick youtube search would confirm whether its possible or not.

MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 09:55 AM
No, no, no, you've got it wrong.... Men are money objects, they will always need us, but we don't need them. Seriously, my vibrator has gotten me off better than any man ever has. Men won't admit it, but they secretly like to chase women and work for it, so smart women won't sell themselves short and give it up easily, they capitalize on that shit. Don't get it twisted.

this is very interesting. I think almost every man, whether he will admit it or not, is fearful of poor performance in bed. The realization you've had better orgasms with your vibrator than any man has ever been able to give you is probably more than we can handle I think. The male ego is pretty fragile.

I'm interested in the "we don't need them" comment. It seemed as if you did need/want some form of interest or relationship with the 3 guys you wrote about earlier. Is there a seperate need in play there or would you make the distinction its more of a want? The stereotype of course being that all women need attention. Which I don't know if I buy that or not.

I would say you are a little off base on "men won't admit it, but they secretly like to chase women". I would amend that to most men, but not all.

MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 10:13 AM
ok. i want a detailed answer.

what are the stereotypes/beliefs guys have about certain races/ethnic groups that make guys want to fuck chicks? date chicks? marry chicks? what beliefs do they have that make them want to avoid women from those backgrounds? (like a pro/con type list maybe)

i'm aware of the stereotypes about asians, but that's the only one i'm really familar with. there's the shy, reserved girl who is sexually submissive and always ready to do whatever her man wants. then there's the insatiable dragon lady who gets her kicks seducing and destroying men with her sexuality. both are total bs, but a lot of guys seem to believe this shit. probably because many of the asian women non-asian men have had intimate contact with, historically, have been prostitutes or trying to find someone to give her a better life than what she had come from, something women of all races are often inclined to try.

but i've been doing research on all this stuff lately, so the more opinions i can find, the better.

and i know guys talk about that stuff.

personally, i actually probably fit the docile asian stereotype, right down to have an eastern-style philosophy on life. and i always end up finding out that the white guys i like only like asian girls. and it's like dood, i'm not asian, but i'll be glad to love you long time. open your mind a little. but they won't. sad. well, sometimes the guys i like like latinas. and again, no compromising. bummer.


man this is pandora's box right here..... hmmmmm

I should preface this by saying I'm white and the majority of my friends are white.

White girls - I would say white girls are the most popular, if thats even the right way to put it. It comes down to who you are physically the most attracted to. Myself, I'm attracted to all races, so I don't really understand ppl who are attracted to primarily one race, but thats out there.

Depending on social class differences there can be stigmas associated with white girls, i.e. they're higher maintenance, more demanding, pickier, etc.

Black girls - I know several of my friends who just aren't attracted to black girls. I think they're crazy, but hey to each his own. My personal experience with black girls is they just don't seem to be into me. I know a few girls who have told me they only date white guys, b/c they have some negative steretypes of black males.

As far as stereotypes I don't think you have to put alot of guess work into what those are and I don't think its right to repeat them since they're bullshit anyways.

Latin girls - The only friends I have who have said anything about Latinas are my Hispanic friends. They just say common things like don't cheat on a Spanish girl or they will cut your balls off etc, they are very jealous. I don't know if thats not more true and less stereotype, its just what I've heard.

Asian girls - I think you summed the stereotype up very well, other than maybe I might be more inclined to ask an Asian girl to help me with a math problem, j/k.

MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 10:16 AM
So like a pic of my nooni with a dildo in it or something? LOL At risk of sounding stupid. This is one area I really have no experience in.

Depending on your comfort level anything from cleavage to full nudity would pacify most guys I think.

MiracleDJ
08-13-2010, 10:18 AM
Haven't heard from miracleDJ since Fri. I think he's been overwhelmed. I know I would be !!!

Fun thread, though. Now worries about hijacking when the thread is by definition about WHATEVER.

haha yeah, its overwhelming a bit. Some of the questions are pretty sincere and thoughtful, so I want to give a sincere and thoughtful answer. But yeah, I've just had about $2500 in home repairs to attend to the past week, S.O.B.!

MiracleDJ
08-16-2010, 09:29 PM
Well, I started this thread to be entertaining, and maybe offer some insight. Since there aren't any questions being asked right now, maybe I should switch it up and ask you ladies some questions.

Here's one I'm curious about. How much are you willing to let a guy get away with depending on how good looking he is? For example, if Brad Pitt approaches you at a bar and has the most God awful cheesy pick up lines, fumbles through his words, is dressed in ratty clothes, etc etc... How much would you let him get away with, before you'd say no to going out with him?

Also, how good does a guy who looks like Seth Rogan or even worse Danny DeVito have to be in the same scenario to get a date?

Jessie_tinydancer
08-17-2010, 01:13 AM
Anyone who uses cheesy pick up lines would not get a look in from me... Brad Pitt or not... unless maybe if it was Brad Pitt as he looked in Troy. Then I might just get drunk so it didnt bother me as much an shag him, but definitely not date him.

I would date someone like Seth Rogan anyway cause I love funny guys. But it would help if he was as rich and as funny as the actual Seth Rogan. I'm definitely not a gold digger (my husband is not rich, but he's funny and sexy). If your just funny, you prob need to be rich too.

Danny DeVito... only if he was paying me and I didnt have to do anything sexual.

Trem
08-17-2010, 09:41 AM
Also, how good does a guy who looks like Seth Rogan or even worse Danny DeVito have to be in the same scenario to get a date?

Danny Devito is rich and famous and he still ended up with Rhea Perlman. Even gold diggers have standards my friend.

KS_Stevia
08-17-2010, 06:38 PM
lol, no clue. I've never owned any pets, sorry.

EVER? What a shame, pets are so great.

justa_grrl
02-04-2011, 12:54 PM
Okay, why are (most) guys so into giving anal when they're so squeamish about getting something up their own arseholes? How can they be so insistent that it'll be great for the chick when they're so reluctant to take it themselves; hey, we've all got arseholes! (Honestly, though, I've never met a guy who got drunk enough to be on the receiving end of a little arseplay who didn't like it a lot . . . though maybe he would never admit it while sober.)

I suspect the answer is the perceived dominance/submission role thing, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

socialreject
04-04-2012, 07:50 PM
Okay, why are (most) guys so into giving anal when they're so squeamish about getting something up their own arseholes? How can they be so insistent that it'll be great for the chick when they're so reluctant to take it themselves; hey, we've all got arseholes! (Honestly, though, I've never met a guy who got drunk enough to be on the receiving end of a little arseplay who didn't like it a lot . . . though maybe he would never admit it while sober.)

I suspect the answer is the perceived dominance/submission role thing, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

You answered your own question. In a male dominated society (such as here in the USA) it is NOT okay for 2 men to have sexual relations. Anything relating to male homosexuality in the slightest (such as male anal penetration) is not tolerated. Whereas it's perfectly fine for 2 females to have sexual relations, as well as anal penetration.

Let_It_Fly
04-20-2012, 12:56 PM
Since SR reanimated this thread...

Why do men cheat?
There only one thing better than pussy...new pussy.
A man is as faithful as his options.

And about the 3 things guys want:
Food, sex, & silence...

All these things were said by a comedian (cant recall who ATM)...although that shouldn't take away the validity of it.

Almost Jaded
07-12-2012, 02:39 PM
Not all guys are hung up about anal. No issues here, lol.

Not all guys cheat. Still unsure about girls though...

Hey single guy, here's a question:

Why are you still single?

Kellydancer
07-12-2012, 03:04 PM
Having done the nline dating thing, I can answer that many single men are still that way because they are way over picky. I mean seriously, 400 pound fat man is not going to attract a thin woman who is hot.

Almost Jaded
07-12-2012, 06:24 PM
Kelly - you know I love you and all, but you are really hung up on this, lol. We all know about your experiences and why this bothers you - those of us tht get your point agree with you whole-heartedly. But you post about it a LOT!! Most of these men you don't want anyway. Let them chase what they can't get - they can't get you either, so be glad they think you're "too old" because it spares you having to deal with their lame asses.

Well
07-12-2012, 07:00 PM
Not all guys are hung up about anal. No issues here, lol.

Not all guys cheat. Still unsure about girls though...

Hey single guy, here's a question:

Why are you still single?


Because there's no drama, the sex isn't worth the drama.

Kellydancer
07-12-2012, 10:56 PM
Kelly - you know I love you and all, but you are really hung up on this, lol. We all know about your experiences and why this bothers you - those of us tht get your point agree with you whole-heartedly. But you post about it a LOT!! Most of these men you don't want anyway. Let them chase what they can't get - they can't get you either, so be glad they think you're "too old" because it spares you having to deal with their lame asses.

You are right on everything. Oddly, I met a 30 year old man the other day who thinks I am hot and a potential girlfriend, I know a 25 year old who wants to date me and I found a man I hope I marry. Weird how these things turn out. Yes I can date all kids of men and unlike the losers I often mention I can date pretty much any guy I want.

Flickdreams
07-13-2012, 09:37 AM
^ Well, you cynic! Smacks of bitterness my love! Not all relationships are drama just as not all single sex is drama free!

Almost Jaded
07-13-2012, 07:23 PM
Thanked flickdreams for the "not all single sex is drama free" part. Kelly's cynicism is well founded and based on much personal experience. If it makes her sound bitter... Well, as I said above, she posts about it too much - but pet peeves get to be like that, lol. Lord knows I have a few - look at my screen name for fucks' sake! :P

Raider
07-14-2012, 06:49 AM
Thanked flickdreams for the "not all single sex is drama free" part. Kelly's cynicism is well founded and based on much personal experience. If it makes her sound bitter... Well, as I said above, she posts about it too much - but pet peeves get to be like that, lol. Lord knows I have a few - look at my screen name for fucks' sake! :P



I think flickdream's comment was directed at ''Well'' who mentioned a perceived connection between drama and sex.

Flickdreams
07-14-2012, 11:09 AM
Raider gets the cookie.

Kellydancer
07-14-2012, 11:31 AM
Thanked flickdreams for the "not all single sex is drama free" part. Kelly's cynicism is well founded and based on much personal experience. If it makes her sound bitter... Well, as I said above, she posts about it too much - but pet peeves get to be like that, lol. Lord knows I have a few - look at my screen name for fucks' sake! :P

Yeah I post about it way too much which is a problem when something bothers me. Like I mentioned above I am meeting many men and the cynicism is disappearing because quite frankly it's their loss, not mine. I mean I know I am attractive and know that I can attract men offline without a problem. I think too many people (me included)get hung up on the "all guys" comments I see often and I hate generalizing about all men or all women because we are all different.

Even when I read comments like "all men cheat" I cringe because I know many men who don't cheat. Then there are also the issues where if both people agree it's not cheating (swinging, polyamourous, open relationships)and I would hate to include these people in the whole all men cheat. In fact I would say they weren't cheatng because I can't call it cheating if both people (or more as the case may be)are in agreement.

I hate to say it, but I think attractive women, especially attractive women who make money off their looks see the absolute worst in men. I know I would see so many horrible men while dancing who would have cheated if they could, have asked me for sex, etc. Then again I have had many great regulars too who thought of it as a fantasy.

Mentioning anal sex though and I wonder if this is common with younger women. I have dated a lot of men and only two have brought it up. One was a man I lived with and the other mentioned he only did it once. None of my other boyfriends had an interest.