View Full Version : How to politely tell a dancer your not interested?
Hopper
12-05-2010, 12:29 AM
in theory, i agree. but when every single guy says it and none of them get dances, even though it's a saturday night and the club is packed, it fucking sucks. and yes this happened to me, back when the economy was great and i was in the best shape of my life. and it was season. at what was arguably the best club in the area for money, full nude, full contact (tampa, no booze). couldn't even make my housefee that night. and a lot of other girls were bitching too. really hot girls.
I guess if a packed room full of guys won't get LDs from truly hot dancers in a full-nude club, full-contact club, it says something about customers in all clubs. But I can't understand why they would be happy just looking and groping out on the floor and not go for LDs in a club like that.
thin-skinned is one thing. i've had guys whip their dick out, call me names, tell me to "work for" a dollar onstage, touch my pussy, put dirty poop-germ money on my pussy before i could stop them, offer me insultingly little money for sex, hit me, push me, trip me, grab me and call me a bitch because i wouldn't give them a drug hookup, slap my ass when i was walking by, stealth-finger me while i was talking to someone else and didn't see them, etc. i'm not thin-skinned. it's when it adds up. when you're getting naked and groped for walmart money, and it happens a few nights in a row, it fucking sucks. and when guys say "maybe later" or something like that all fucking night instead of just being honest, or they lead you on while getting the most free grope they can until you leave, it sucks.
I didn't know all that was so common. I haven't heard of or seen that kind of thing happening at clubs I go to - not often. But if guys are not buying dances, I can see that the rest is not at all worth putting up with.
guys have this idea that if they think you're hot, but they don't spend money on you, you're still going to make bank because they think you're hot. but if you don't spend money, how do you know anybody else is either?
Good point. I've thought that way a number of times, like a hot dancer would almost laugh at what I would spend on her or tip her compared to how well she's doing with many other customers. But I do like to "look after" the hot girls, simply because just by being hot and working there they've earned it in my book. Also, some girls I think are hot are not necessarily the ones all customers think are hot, so I don't necessarily expect other customers are spending on them.
and the ones who do spend (and who therefore can't understand the ones who don't) have no real idea what kind of shit we have to put up with from jerks.
I'm aware of it. Dancers talk, and often I can tell just by looking around me.
anouk.oui
12-05-2010, 01:50 AM
dont come to a strip club without the intent of spending money.
in most places it costs under 40 bucks for a lapdance, some even 15-30 which means if you came to the club to get dances, they are cheap enough to buy from several girls.
do not come to the SC with only 50dollars and expect it to last the night until you find the hottest girl you can buy one dance from. the chances are, the best girl will be booked out by her regulars or will be busy closing sales with willing customers all night and wont have time to sit with you for hours to convince you she deserves the one 20 dollar dance when she just got out of a two hour vip.
so instead of coming often with no money, come rarely and really make it worth the experience, buy drinks, get lesbian shows, vips, have FUN.
by counting every dollar you spend youre no gonna have a great relaxing time, which is what the SC is for.
if a girl sits down and you dont want a dance from her, just say 'im really sorry i dont want a dance and i dont want to waste your time' before she spends hours sitting at your table hoping to close a sale
and if youre not waiting for another dancer you just dont want dances, period, why are you in the club? drinks are cheaper elsewhere and you wont get annoyed by girls hustling you every second youre there. dont forget, its the dancers job, and by you being in the SC is a valid enough excuse for a girl to assume you will be getting a dance from someone at somepoint this evening
Hopper
12-05-2010, 02:34 AM
dont come to a strip club without the intent of spending money.
I always go to SCs with the intent of spending money. But there aren't always dancers there I want to spend money on. I only go to SCs for LDs, not to drink or chat. Stage shows are a reason too, but any really hot girl on stage I also want an LD from.
in most places it costs under 40 bucks for a lapdance, some even 15-30 which means if you came to the club to get dances, they are cheap enough to buy from several girls.
Yes but that doesn't mean I'll throw it away on girls I don't really like. Sometimes there are not several dancers there I rate well enough for an LD. In some clubs dances are that cheap, but in most I go to they are not, because they are all full contact clubs.
do not come to the SC with only 50dollars and expect it to last the night until you find the hottest girl you can buy one dance from. the chances are, the best girl will be booked out by her regulars or will be busy closing sales with willing customers all night and wont have time to sit with you for hours to convince you she deserves the one 20 dollar dance when she just got out of a two hour vip.
If she's hot, she won't need to sit with me at all. I'll go and ask for her in the middle of her hustling the other customers. I know I'll miss out if I don't and I don't want to wait around.
so instead of coming often with no money, come rarely and really make it worth the experience, buy drinks, get lesbian shows, vips, have FUN.
by counting every dollar you spend youre no gonna have a great relaxing time, which is what the SC is for.
That's not a good strategy for me. I don't go to SCs very regularly, but the more frequently I go to them the more chances there are that I will find dancers I do want LDs from. I don't find one every visit. They are not all what I consider hot and full contact LDs are expensive, so she has to be pretty hot for me to justify buying.
I'd rather go five times and get two LDs with strippers I really like than go once and get three LDs with strippers I don't really like and therefore don't even justify the price. From the dancers' POV, they should prefer I go five times and get two or three LDs than go one time and get none or maybe one. The lower price clubs I can justify more, and I do like going to those more often, but most of them are highly priced.
I don't like lesbian shows and I don't need VIP to relax. Throwing my money away does not make me relax. If every customer did what I do, you'd all sell a lot of LDs. I'm not carrying the other customers by spending more than I really want to.
if a girl sits down and you dont want a dance from her, just say 'im really sorry i dont want a dance and i dont want to waste your time' before she spends hours sitting at your table hoping to close a sale
I don't like to say that straight off, for reasons I have already given, but I don't encourage them to spend more time than they think is reasonable to try to make a sale. Few girls would spend hours with one customer trying to make one sale. If girls spend more than about five minutes with me, it is usually because they have no other customers to hustle for the time being and they just want to look busy.
and if youre not waiting for another dancer you just dont want dances, period, why are you in the club? drinks are cheaper elsewhere and you wont get annoyed by girls hustling you every second youre there. dont forget, its the dancers job, and by you being in the SC is a valid enough excuse for a girl to assume you will be getting a dance from someone at somepoint this evening
Why indeed.
GeorgeBailey
12-05-2010, 10:05 AM
because there are psycho bitches who'll go off on a guy who tells them no, even if he's polite about it. and they ruin it for all of us.
Thank you. I'm working at being more assertive about this, but I've had bad experiences regardless of how polite I try to be. I've been called everything from a cheap SOB to a racist just because I wasn't interested in a particular dancer.
jester214
12-05-2010, 01:54 PM
Smile. Make eye contact. Say "no".
If they won't leave after that, ignore them... If they stay after that you're not going to get rid of them.
If they want to throw a fit, there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Isis Star
12-05-2010, 02:22 PM
If she's hot, she won't need to sit with me at all. I'll go and ask for her in the middle of her hustling the other customers. I know I'll miss out if I don't and I don't want to wait around.
.
seriously??? so you're clueless AND rude?
Hopper
12-06-2010, 01:05 AM
seriously??? so you're clueless AND rude?
Sounds like you need a few clues and some manners yourself. So far in this thread you have called me an asshole and now clueless and rude. You said I "sound like" an asshole without actually saying why I am one and now it's clueless with no reason why. You know, there is always the possibility that you don't understand someone properly, so before abusing him it's best to make sure with a few queries. Even then, just because someone disagrees with you does not mean he is an asshole or clueless. It could be you.
As for rude, would you resent a customer if he came over to you, while you were in the middle of spending five or ten minutes trying to hustle some guy who doesn't even want an LD (or you wouldn't still be hustling him), excused himself and and asked for an LD with you, or asked one of the staff to tell you instead? I can't tell from across the room whether the customer a dancer is talking to is on the verge of buying. He can think it over while the dancer is making money from me. And if she would rather keep talking to him, I can wait, but at least she knows I want one. Otherwise I have to sit across the room watching her so I can jump in quickly when she's finished before she goes on to the next customer, maybe one only half a meter away. If I'm not fast enough she could go on all night talking to one customer after another until I have to leave.
she sells sanctuary
12-06-2010, 02:27 AM
seriously, it's one thing if a guy grabs you when you're hustling to ask you for a date or offers you 100 to go back to his hotel room, but if he comes over to ask for a dance, there's nothing wrong with that at all. that's not rude. it's rude if he grabs you and drags you along to the dance area.
and besides, if you're with a regular or are sooooo sure the guy you're hustling is gonna take you to the cr any second now, you can always say no to the one who came over to ask for a dance.
Hopper
12-06-2010, 05:46 AM
There are reasons why a dancer might not want to leave the customer she is talking to to give me a lapdance. She might be closing a sale. Or he might seem wealthier than me and likely to spend more if he buys from her. So I'm not going to necessarily expect an LD straight away. The point is just to ask. Of course I would not walk up to a dancer who is talking and say I want a LD right now. The when and if is up to her. It is also possible to handle it through another dancer, which would be less awkward or intrusive for both the dancer and the customer she is talking to.
Rookie2010
12-10-2010, 11:49 AM
deleted
missplayful
12-13-2010, 01:23 AM
If A Customer ask me about LD while i talk with my regular there is no way i could dance for him. I never ever leave to my regulars for any customer. They pay for my time i wont be avaible for anyone else.
By the way interrupting my converstation with my customer would be pissing me off. I can be easily sweet and easily bitch. I am not gonna kiss anyones ass for 20 dollar. i m not gonna beg either.. i dont understand why guys think 20 dolar is sooo important and only they can get 1-2 dance whole night and they have to wait for best girl.Thats not a sirious money at all. Even though i am female customer before i dance i treated strippers very good and i did not make a problem about spendin money, i am not even bi or lesbian. U cant go MC donalds and say no i actually dont like burger i am not gonna buy i AM here to watch... if u come to strip club of course girls would expect some dances.
IF your budget is thight or spending money at strip club is gonna make u feel uncomfartable better stay at home. Strip clubs are luxury place for maden spendin money and havin a good time. Yes definatly if u dont spend any money there is no good time for u. Strippers will bitch ,girls wont dance on stage for free. U will be hearing some bull shit from dancers because u keep sayin no to everyone or maybe later...We arent at the club for party. We are workin at the club because we all have bills and when we dont make money we have no mativation for work. I cant entartain people without money.
i hate some guys gives me to much compliments and they think i am hottest one still when i ask for dance they tun me down?? why? if i could compliment a person non stop 10 min i would be to shamed to say no to her... i dont see any point to say no if u can compliment to a girl.