View Full Version : Why Men Love Bitches - This Sh*t REALLY works
kthnx
08-12-2011, 12:15 PM
^ yea in some cases settling doesnt even help. one of my guy friends went thru a sexual/romantic "drout" a few yrs ago. I think I wrote bout this before. Anyway during his drout he seemed to lack much in the way of standards. I'd point out a chubby mediocre chick at a bar and ask if he'd go for her and he'd say "sure" in a "I'll take anything" tone. His lack of standards didn't get him MORE chix, if anything it hurt him MORE becuz girls saw him as desperate. I found that for myself too when I was much younger.
Plus, god forbid if people actually become aware that one is settling or willing to take anything...the last thing people want is to be the guy/girl that's "anything". People want to feel like they're a catch, ie attractive and special, not feel like they were picked up just for having a heartbeat.
Kelly, perhaps someone should post a link to that lame article so other people can laugh at it too lmao.
I also agree Kim kardashian is the worst role model for marriage.
Kellydancer
08-12-2011, 12:18 PM
I'll see if I can find the article, but yes it was a pathetic article. On many sites (including here)people settle for people they shouldn't. We see attractive women here staying with losers instead of doing better because they are afraid of being alone. I'm always attacked because I refuse to date dads and they tell me I should settle. Why settle when it'll make you miserable? Sure it's great to have a man but is it better to be alone and not having to deal with drama one doesn't want?
PleasureVictim
08-12-2011, 10:51 PM
Being divorced doesn't necessarily mean you can't dispense good advice. After all, sometimes that is how you learn not to makes those mistakes again. I know more about relationships/marriage after being divorced than I did years ago.
Kellydancer
08-12-2011, 11:56 PM
Being divorced once is different than being divorced THREE times. No, someone divorced that much obviously don't know much about staying married. As for the Rules if the advice was great the author never would have divorced.
ShellyConnors
08-13-2011, 01:04 AM
Well the whole thing is about "getting" married, not "staying" married, right? Evidently she's great at getting them there. Maybe she should read someone else's how-to book on keeping them ;)
xGigi
08-13-2011, 06:07 AM
Being divorced once is different than being divorced THREE times. No, someone divorced that much obviously don't know much about staying married. As for the Rules if the advice was great the author never would have divorced.
smart with men? no. smart with money? yes. women will buy any crap that will teach them how to get a man because sooooooo many women these days are desperate and easy.
Kellydancer
08-13-2011, 11:46 AM
That's the problem, and there are many examples here alone. Way too many women are desperate to have any man they put up with abuse, cheating, etc. If women would be more confident and not give into men too easily they would do better.
xGigi
08-13-2011, 12:29 PM
That's the problem, and there are many examples here alone. Way too many women are desperate to have any man they put up with abuse, cheating, etc. If women would be more confident and not give into men too easily they would do better.
the dressing room makes me sick for this exact reason. one week a girl is all proud and telling everyone how she left her man for hitting her and then the next week they're back on. once I walked in and a girl was on the phone with her boyfriend saying shit like "I know you cheated on me because I wasn't good enough in bed, but I'm really trying!" and basically making it sound like it was all her fault that some douchebag slept with another girl. every time I walk into a conversation like that I want to throw their phone on the ground and slap some sense into them!!
Kellydancer
08-13-2011, 12:35 PM
Me too. I danced with a girl who's husband beat her if she made less than $200 for "them". I wanted to slap her myself and tell her to leave that scum of a husband who sponged off her. Why women stay with men who beat or cheat I'll never know. Personally I'd rather be alone.
xGigi
08-13-2011, 02:18 PM
wowwww that's not a husband, that's a pimp. she needs to grow a backbone. I would drop that asshole like a hot brick. I wouldn't even date a guy that didn't have a job let alone one who took my money.
Kellydancer
08-13-2011, 02:24 PM
I haven't seen her in years but last I heard she dumped him for a woman. I hope so because I would never allow a man to treat me like that.
xGigi
08-13-2011, 02:50 PM
well good for her if she did! unfortunately there are still plenty of women out there in similar situations who aren't as smart. I wanna know where the hell this notion came from that women NEED to have a man and they have to hang on for dear life to the first one that comes along
Kellydancer
08-13-2011, 03:16 PM
It comes from society. Society does stigmatize women without men so many women stay with these scummy guys. No one needs a man that bad.
Flickdreams
08-14-2011, 05:58 AM
Well the whole thing is about "getting" married, not "staying" married, right? Evidently she's great at getting them there. Maybe she should read someone else's how-to book on keeping them ;)
Hahaha
xGigi
08-14-2011, 06:33 AM
It comes from society. Society does stigmatize women without men so many women stay with these scummy guys. No one needs a man that bad.
how so? I'm not disagreeing with you btw I just wanna know more :D
Kellydancer
08-14-2011, 10:46 AM
how so? I'm not disagreeing with you btw I just wanna know more :D
Because from an early age women are pressured to be mothers and wives. You see this pressure on all the scare tactics people use articles on, such as "you'll be alone if you don't marry". The marriage industry is a multi million, perhaps even billion dollar industry. Men get it too but not as bad, but probably because they can have babies anytime and then there is the myth that they can get much younger women (a myth but many believe it).
Optimist
08-14-2011, 12:02 PM
^^^^^Absolutely! Men get high fives for staying unattached as long as possible. Women get "what are you going to DO with your life, what about when you get OLD?!!" Men have no shelf life and women are past their peak once they can't have the kids--the same kids that men aren't supposed to want.
Kellydancer
08-14-2011, 12:22 PM
Exactly and it's sad. I see so many women past a normal marrying age (which is going up all the time)and they are pitied but men aren't. Men who stay single are often treated as doing the right thing but women aren't. Oddly though I am seeing a change in this at least online where single men past a certain age are often just as much stigmatized as older women. I've heard many stories of women relatives marying anyone just to be married, including abusive or cheaters. I'm glad we don't need to just put up with that today.
The_Ecdysiast
09-19-2011, 10:11 AM
I bought this book for Kindle Saturday night - I'm 90% done already.
Like another poster stated, I cringed at the past mistakes I've made, but now feel well-equipped to deal with men in the future.
It truly is an excellent read - it isn't about 'playing games', but truly loving/valuing yourself FIRST & how to understand guys a little better to make things smoother in your dating/marriage life.
ALL women can benefit, whether you're single or married with 3 children - EVERY woman I know, and I know a lot, has been guilty of doing a no-no mentioned in this book.
I highly recommend it!
LibraSnake
04-21-2012, 09:43 PM
Ugh. That book is mostly right, except I hate when it suggests that you act like a helpless bitch.
"Oh honey I can't look, please make that scary ant go away!"
"Will you come with me when I walk the dog? It makes me feel safe!"
"I can't change this lightbulb, I need you to do it for me!"
GAG. VOMIT.
Fuck that shit...I'll tear a live rattlesnake in half before his eyes, and he'll like it.
#I'manENTJ
cherryblossomsinspring
04-22-2012, 01:12 AM
Lol Libra!
Glad this was resurrected. I think this thread needs to be on a damn sticky!
Flickdreams
04-22-2012, 01:34 AM
might go dig it out of the moving boxes. Husband has been a shit of late >:(
Optimist
04-23-2012, 09:54 PM
Lol Libra!
Glad this was resurrected. I think this thread needs to be on a damn sticky!
Your wish is my command!
BlkSharpie
04-23-2012, 10:15 PM
Im glad this thread came up too... I already have Why Men Love Bitches... and while scoping things out also found the sequal Why Men Marry Bitches. I got the download and its a really good read so far, not like most books where they just repeat the same stuff, this one has more info, pretty good insight in it too. I sort of skipped around last night to parts that I was curious about and also got some insight as to some recent events, why things happened the way they did from how I reacted. Sort of makes me wish I had this book too a year ago...cause I reread Why Men Love Bitches and it didnt have stuff in it that this one does, that would have really helped me.
About to read through the whole thing...will report back with any new findings if anyone is interested :)
kitinboots
05-12-2012, 11:11 AM
I liked it, I found the tips on keeping a guy around interesting. I started going for coffee with the girls or going out so I'm not home when he finishes work, and it worked. He'd phone me to ask where I was, and he actually started coming to join me wherever I was like he really wanted to be around me.
I can't for the life of me get him to do the dishes though. He'll wash a couple of things after dinner but not everything. I tried just not doing them, but it took 2 or 3 days for him to do them and I can't live like that.
I can't wait to read the sequel.
kitinboots
05-12-2012, 11:14 AM
Oh, and I was watching one of those MTV True Life episodes where a girl was dating an older rich man, and it showed her calling him to see what time he'd be home, then sitting around waiting for him to turn up 4 hours later than he said. I wanted to scream at her to read this book!
Flickdreams
05-12-2012, 08:20 PM
I have read the 2 books already published, Sherry Argov is releasing a 3rd book in June (Men's accounts). I wish she would write a book directed to the already married.
sweetsam
05-13-2012, 07:49 PM
I also own this book. :)
GlamourRouge
05-21-2012, 03:27 PM
Why Men Love Bitches - Dating/Relationships & Psychology Group (http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/group.php?groupid=77). Someone wanted me to make it so there you go ;). Join away
pink_bunny
05-28-2012, 11:19 PM
lol thanks ladiess i think i will read it. that said, i cant do phony out side the club. im always ready for a serious relationship. i wonder what women of other cultures. (maybe france? or some place out side the usa would feel about this literature.
IS it just a USA thing? I dont know. I don't do phony. if want to call, ill fucking call. If the guy gets turned off and scared, its his problem. On to the next, there's a lot of people in the world. Im just not a "bitch." To me it seems like a full- time acting job which is draining.
Flickdreams
05-29-2012, 01:48 AM
Its not bitch as in Im going to be a cow to men its B.abe I.n T.otal C.ontrol of H.erself. The book isn't game playing, it's advice on how to maintain a cool head when all those hormones are flying around, make smarter choices when it comes to dating men and so on. It also gives fair insight into the male psyche and asks you to consider that when you make your choices. The title is meant as a marketing ploy.
bubblegumbitch
05-29-2012, 09:43 AM
yes!!!! i just purchased this from amazon. this is like the dating bible. i cannot wait to read it!
Flickdreams
05-29-2012, 11:20 AM
Enjoy darlin'
_natasha
05-29-2012, 11:32 AM
In the 20 minutes since I started reading this thread it has improved my love life... Amazing! Men really hate to know that they aren't the centre of your universe don't they...
laurielegs
05-29-2012, 02:44 PM
In the 20 minutes since I started reading this thread it has improved my love life... Amazing! Men really hate to know that they aren't the centre of your universe don't they...
Very true, but think what happens when a man behaves like that toward you. I can't stand needy men! ugh. So unattractive, so no wonder men don't like that either.
It's all about being your own person and having your own interests. Makes for a much more interesting relationship.
Flickdreams
05-29-2012, 11:47 PM
....and to some extent, what we call 'games' our forebears called standards of behaviour.
Sometimes I think its like the stripper who gives it away on the floor/sits with custie for ages/buys custie a drink and complains how shit her night is compared to the Dancer who keeps conversation brief but tantalising, leaving him wanting to know more, has standards about what she will and wont allow physically (which is emotional boundaries) and gets the quality customer in the VIP room.
Kellydancer
05-30-2012, 12:22 PM
^^^^^^
Very true. Right now I am casually dating a few guys and have decided to use this idea in dating. In the past I was one of those people who would contact guys, would approach them and chase after them. In addition I also made the mistake of sleeping with a few way too early. Now though I am doing the opposite, I am letting them pursue me, I am going slowly in terms of dating, and will not sleep with them now (I hope to wait until marriage). I am noticing a big difference in that those guys who are interested like the chase. Also, if you don't become clingy early on they find out that you won't be a woman they avoid. I hate clingy men, why would men be different? Only time will see where this goes. Right now there is a guy I am interested in but I will not pursue him. I will take it slowly and let it build up if that is what will happen. I am going to let him contact me and let him ask me out. I refuse to get hurt again over men who have no interest in a long term relationship with me.
Flickdreams
05-31-2012, 06:09 AM
^ Do you date more than one guy at a time?
Kellydancer
05-31-2012, 02:25 PM
Right now yes, though none are serious. I am meeting men both online and through people I know. As of now there is one guy I am interested in, he's shy, a business owner, great personality, and I met him through my mom's best friend but if he doesn't work out we'll see what happens. I am also meeting guys online but for the most part am striking out on that because the men I want are being picky and the ones I am not interested in are the ones who like me.
cherryblossomsinspring
05-31-2012, 05:13 PM
I feel so optimistic!! hahaa:) Thank you Optimist!!
I've tried out overly sweet and overly bitching and yes being a bitch words hands down. I had one guy that was typically an asshole seriously afraid to loose me, Now still I had to dump him because even though he was making strides more than what he ever did for any woman in his past, he still was moving too fucking slow. So yes he had to go.
If I received a penny for every PUA douche pick up line off and on cam, I'd be a rich bitch. So I agree we need our own rules of engagement. I've been single for a while on purpose, but perhaps it's time to go out and play a bit. I wonder how this chapter will go this time around...
Kellydancer
06-01-2012, 11:09 PM
Men I have noticed like being controlled by women. I don't mean the nagging sort but the situations discussed where the women are pursued.
Since I have an agenda of marriage, I am putting a deadline on that. I'm sure we all know someone who waited years for an engagement only to see them dumped. Often the men married the next women. Anyway I am telling men I meet what I am looking for and will not sleep with them until that point. I am also putting a timeline on engagement, for example say in the next month or two I start dating one of these guys exclusively I expect an engagement by next Valentines Day. In my opinion by then we should both know whether we like each other by then. My mother had an interesting life where she dated several men casually until she got engaged. She knew she wanted marriage and refused to be a long time girlfriend. I don't want to be a man's bed buddy/long time girlfriend I want to be his wife.
GlamourRouge
06-02-2012, 01:40 PM
Men I have noticed like being controlled by women. I don't mean the nagging sort but the situations discussed where the women are pursued.
Since I have an agenda of marriage, I am putting a deadline on that. I'm sure we all know someone who waited years for an engagement only to see them dumped. Often the men married the next women. Anyway I am telling men I meet what I am looking for and will not sleep with them until that point. I am also putting a timeline on engagement, for example say in the next month or two I start dating one of these guys exclusively I expect an engagement by next Valentines Day. In my opinion by then we should both know whether we like each other by then. My mother had an interesting life where she dated several men casually until she got engaged. She knew she wanted marriage and refused to be a long time girlfriend. I don't want to be a man's bed buddy/long time girlfriend I want to be his wife.
I feel like, if you go into dating LOOKING for marriage, the man will immediately smell desperation and will run in the opposite direction or string you along until he's done with you (which will never reach marriage). Men want to be loved for who they are and what they bring to the table, not to fit in someone's agenda and fetishized into someone's idea of a life for them. I've seen that happen so often. And that's like one of the premises of Why Men Love Bitches. You just have to work on yourself- your body, face, hair, style, education (& by that I don't mean formal education/degrees), culture, creativity, interests, and career. Once you get all those in place and have the confidence to show a man you don't *need* him but you genuinely like the person he is, then he will start considering marriage. Change things until you get the results you're looking for.
Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 02:09 PM
I think it is important to be on the same wavelength upfront so both know what the other is looking for. I don't need a man I want one. I'm not desperate at all, as for improving myself I am quite confident in myself so I see no need for improvement. If a man doesn't want me his loss, but I will not give him what he wants until I receive what I want in return. However I am older and look at this in more realistic views and will not bend over for a man.
GlamourRouge
06-02-2012, 02:45 PM
I think it is important to be on the same wavelength upfront so both know what the other is looking for. I don't need a man I want one. I'm not desperate at all, as for improving myself I am quite confident in myself so I see no need for improvement. If a man doesn't want me his loss, but I will not give him what he wants until I receive what I want in return. However I am older and look at this in more realistic views and will not bend over for a man.
99% sure this is one the BIGGEST mistakes women make. Asking men about that or even hinting at it or bringing up the subject before you truly *KNOW* the guy for who is he is an instant dealbreaker for most men because it seems like, to them, you are trying to see if they fit into *YOUR* life plans. People are selfish. They have their own life ideals. Men don't want to be objectified, they want to be liked for who they really are, to the point where you genuinely want them in your life and marriage just happens. Not "OH IS YOUR GOAL TO GET MARRIED SOON???" because most men would answer "no" "if i find the right person" or "maybe if it happens" but if the right girl comes along of course he is going to say YES YES YES no matter how old or young he is (within reason).
But men don't want to think about marriage or even consider it until it gets to the right time... which is usually at least a year. They want to enjoy the girl first and to see if 1.) he likes her personality, and 2.) how well they mesh together. But it takes time, and you'll know if it won't work out and can move on then. It will become clear by his words & his actions if it won't work out between you two... unless you become delusional by clinging to the idea of OH IF I STAY WITH HIM LONG ENOUGH OR GET PREGNANT THEN HE'LL MARRY ME. Men see right through women who are marriage or baby-minded and don't see them as authentic because it comes off as desperate... and they RUN in the opposite direction as fast as they can.
Most of my closest friends are male, and that is the one thing they always complain about and tell me they run in the other direction from. They want a woman to love them for who they are first, and consider marriage as an extension of loving them for who they are. Women, for some reason, tend to want the reverse. But men don't think that way. And in the end, the men do the proposing, so you have to play by their rules if you want to get engaged (and then married).
Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 02:54 PM
Actually I have men (and I too have lots of male friends)who tell me they are looking for marriage and they tell women upfront because they don't want to waste time dating a woman who isn't interested. Neither do I, so it usually is said upfront. Keep in mind that these men are older and not interested in dating long time. I am NOT telling them I am wanting to marry them soon, just that it is my goal to marry EVENTUALLY. My male friends are doing this too and guess what? most are marrying. Since I'm not sleeping with any of them any chance I would become pregnant to trap them is zero and I don't approve of that tactic.
GlamourRouge
06-02-2012, 02:56 PM
Actually I have men (and I too have lots of male friends)who tell me they are looking for marriage and they tell women upfront because they don't want to waste time dating a woman who isn't interested. Neither do I, so it usually is said upfront. Keep in mind that these men are older and not interested in dating long time. I am NOT telling them I am wanting to marry them soon, just that it is my goal. My male friends are doing this too and guess what? most are marrying.
Well its fine for them to bring up the subject since they are the ones who do the proposing. Like I said, its only an issue when a woman brings up the subject or presses the issue. Its okay to answer the questions they ask, but its not okay (if you want to get married) to ask yourself, bring it up, or press the issue.
Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 02:59 PM
We don't live in the 50s where women would automatically get married. We live in an era where many men do not want to get married so it's best to avoid these men upfront. So I do and screen out the men who say they aren't interested in marriage. As for proposing I know many women who do that but that's not the same thing as telling men "I'm not interested in dating just to date".
GlamourRouge
06-02-2012, 03:42 PM
We don't live in the 50s where women would automatically get married. We live in an era where many men do not want to get married so it's best to avoid these men upfront. So I do and screen out the men who say they aren't interested in marriage. As for proposing I know many women who do that but that's not the same thing as telling men "I'm not interested in dating just to date".
When a men tells you "i don't want to get married" it generally means "i don't want to get married to you." If he finds the right girl, he will marry him and it will change his mind. Its happened a million times. But you never know til you get to know one another.
Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 03:52 PM
Not always. I've known plenty of men who have no interest in marriage. There are men here who have stated they will not marry. George Clooney has been outspoken about this too. Not all men will marry and when a man says he will not marry it is best not to date him with the hope he will change.
Just to clarify (though I thought I was clear before)I am not asking these guys to marry ME I am asking them what they are looking for in dating. I am not looking for sex at all or casual dating once I meet the one. I am also not interested in dating for years just to have him state he's not interested in marriage.
GlamourRouge
06-02-2012, 04:53 PM
Not always. I've known plenty of men who have no interest in marriage. There are men here who have stated they will not marry. George Clooney has been outspoken about this too. Not all men will marry and when a man says he will not marry it is best not to date him with the hope he will change.
Just to clarify (though I thought I was clear before)I am not asking these guys to marry ME I am asking them what they are looking for in dating. I am not looking for sex at all or casual dating once I meet the one. I am also not interested in dating for years just to have him state he's not interested in marriage.
Yes but that will become apparent to you through his words and his actions if he is marriage-minded or not- probably within a month or two of meeting him... like I said, unless you're *fixed* on the whole OH HE'LL MARRY ME IF WE DATE LONG ENOUGH OR IF I GET PREGNANT (like many women are). I just don't think its a good idea to go all out asking or hinting about marriage or the future to a guy you don't even know yet. Wants, needs, and plans change. So can a guy's feelings toward you. Its best to go with the flow otherwise it scares men off.
While asking him about the future/marriage may weed out those who don't want to get married very easily, it also weeds out all the ones that have potential but are turned off by undertones of desperation, which only leaves you with someone who is ALSO looking for *someone* to fit in their life plan as a wife. Not for someone who likes who you are first.