View Full Version : What happened to the man paying rent?
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Jessie_tinydancer
10-07-2010, 12:04 AM
It's a personal thing, really.
I just wouldn't want to live with a man who would be comfortable with me spending that much additional time away from him when it wasn't necessary.
It's not like it's not that big a deal... even if your work schedules are only an hour apart... it adds up. I'd rather have the extra 20+ days a year (2 hours a day, 5 days a week) to spend together and stay home.
For me, personally, I wouldn't live with someone who wasn't more important to me than a job/career... and I sure the fuck would not spend all my time away from home so I could split the rent.
My husband is certainly more important to me than a career... however I am happy to give up those 20+ days (although it will add up to a lot more when I'm a vet) to gain:
- social relationships with other staff/clients
- building my knowledge and skill base
- confidence
- business acumen
- and cuddles and love from all my little animals
I see you are saying its a personal thing, but its not just about splitting rent either. I would probably become brain dead, loss my confidence and be lonely if I was stuck at home personally.
DesuvsDeath
10-07-2010, 12:32 AM
^^^Actually the reason I work from home is to keep me from getting bored and to fulfill most of those needs.
Building knowledge/skills doesn't necessarily involve leaving the house... Working on cars at home I learn something new just about every day. Which also builds my confidence as my skillz improve. Also, talking with the people who own the cars is more than enough social interaction for me.
Jessie_tinydancer
10-07-2010, 05:25 AM
^ Ohhhh cool. I hadnt realised you were working from home. One of my friends is also a girl mechanic and she is one of the smartest people I know.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 01:38 PM
I have no interest in those guys. Maybe if I wanted to be a trophy wife, but I prefer blue collar guys, guys that actually get dirty when they work..
Not sure what you mean, that men who have made themselves rich don't get dirty for their money? Or that blue collar guys always get dirty when they work? Neither are true.
Besides we all know what they call women who marry men for their money.
Even if I wanted to just marry a rich guy so I could shop and eat bon bons all day I don't see why I would care about what other people would call me. But I guess some people are obsessed with what others think about them.
And many of the dancers making that are extras girls.
And many aren't, I know quite a few currently successfull and clean dancers. Mind you there's also tons of broke extras girls.
If there's all of these people making money, name a field because I'd love to work in this field with all these people getting rich. This is funny because I know BANKERS who have lost jobs, along with teachers, nurses and pretty much every field.
More of your weird generalizations.... Why do you assume that I mean that there's entire fields that are faillessly prospering? You seem to have trouble grasping simple concepts.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 01:49 PM
SO sick of hearing about "loosing jobs because of the economy" BS.......
Ditto. I mean, the economy is shitty but I think way too many mediocre strippers and way too many other mediocre 'professionals' love to use it as an excuse for their failure. Because of the economy, the typical overweight stripper with bad hair and a half-filled in sleeve can have 'a legitimate reason' as to why she's not making money... ::)
That you can be the smartest person on the planet but can still lose your job.
The smartest person in the world would probably create their own job.
KaylaM
10-07-2010, 01:55 PM
I would expect a guy to pay for everything if I was living with him. It's a privilege that he gets to exist in my presence.
This. In my country a woman paying for anything wouldn't fly. Thank goodness our culture follows us wherever we go. I couldn't pay for ANYTHING if there was a MAN under the roof. That is why he is a MAN.
bexxx
10-07-2010, 02:03 PM
I think its fair enough to expect a man to pay everything if you contribute more to the house in other ways but I dont think its fair enough to expect the man to pay everything then expect things like cleaning cooking etc to be split equally between you
I'd rather make my money and pay half my way and my bf just take me out nice places and a few nice gifts etc
Kisca
10-07-2010, 02:06 PM
Ditto. I mean, the economy is shitty but I think way too many mediocre strippers and way too many other mediocre 'professionals' love to use it as an excuse for their failure. Because of the economy, the typical overweight stripper with bad hair and a half-filled in sleeve can have 'a legitimate reason' as to why she's not making money... ::)
The smartest person in the world would probably create their own job.
I agree on this... stripper or not. If your that certain % of the population who still makes a good living in this economy, while others are losing, struggling, and such - It shows what your mind set is and strive towards life. As the majority has to make changes as followers to their society. When there is no money to be made there, "that" person will find a way around it.
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 02:10 PM
Ditto. I mean, the economy is shitty but I think way too many mediocre strippers and way too many other mediocre 'professionals' love to use it as an excuse for their failure. Because of the economy, the typical overweight stripper with bad hair and a half-filled in sleeve can have 'a legitimate reason' as to why she's not making money... ::)
The smartest person in the world would probably create their own job.
You are aware that 80% of all businesses fail aren't you? Sure I made a lot of money dancing, but in many fields people don't make a lot of money. For instance professors are very intelligent but don't make squat. There are DOCTORS who don't make money.
All I can say is when you get old you will change your mind. When you get old the guy who are with (who's likely only with you because of your looks) will dump you for another hot young thing. Your thinking will change drastically but by then the good guy who you rejected will be happily married and you'll be an old hag. You don't think that will happen but when you get older your looks will fade no matter how much surgery you get.
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 02:13 PM
I agree on this... stripper or not. If your that certain % of the population who still makes a good living in this economy, while others are losing, struggling, and such - It shows what your mind set is and strive towards life. As the majority has to make changes as followers to their society. When there is no money to be made there, "that" person will find a way around it.
The problem is people have skills in one field and there just aren't openings in most fields. In theory one could start a business but most fail and other people just don't want to start a business. In my personal case my business fail because of too much competition so I'm not willing to start another business. I can't go back to school and while I'm looking into switching fields there's not many jobs anywhere, not even medical. There are teachers losing jobs.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:16 PM
You are aware that 80% of all businesses fail aren't you? Sure I made a lot of money dancing, but in many fields people don't make a lot of money. For instance professors are very intelligent but don't make squat. There are DOCTORS who don't make money.
My goodness. I am not going around this circle again you have clearly missed the boat my dear. :O
All I can say is when you get old you will change your mind. When you get old the guy who are with (who's likely only with you because of your looks) will dump you for another hot young thing. Your thinking will change drastically but by then the good guy who you rejected will be happily married and you'll be an old hag. You don't think that will happen but when you get older your looks will fade no matter how much surgery you get.
Again, you have completely missed my point/s. Also you just sound very vindictive(and jealous?) at this point. :-\ Not sure why you are so hung up with the idea of 'hot young things' hooking up with shallow, wealthy men. That's not what's being discussed. Like, every response of yours is unrelated to the thread....
I think I shall siggy this btw lol!
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:23 PM
I agree on this... stripper or not. If your that certain % of the population who still makes a good living in this economy, while others are losing, struggling, and such - It shows what your mind set is and strive towards life. As the majority has to make changes as followers to their society. When there is no money to be made there, "that" person will find a way around it.
I completely agree!
kandie_kitten
10-07-2010, 02:26 PM
Post after post has been about men should should pay for the priviledge of being with a hot charming woman. So what happens then when you lose those looks, and he's still holding up his end of the bargain and paying bills? It's not that much of a jump that he would think he'd get a better deal with someone younger and prettier.
When you shape a relationship like this rather than on a connection and equal investment (financial and emotional), you're setting up what is essentially a business deal. His money for your company.
More importantly, let's say you decide the man should pay for everything so you can spend more time with him. What the heck happens when he's hit by a bus, or decides you just aren't fun anymore? Everything is in his name, and you're screwed.
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 02:27 PM
My goodness. I am not going around this circle again you have clearly missed the boat my dear. :O
Again, you have completely missed my point/s. Also you just sound very vindictive(and jealous?) at this point. :-\ Not sure why you are so hung up with the idea of 'hot young things' hooking up with shallow, wealthy men. That's not what's being discussed. Like, every response of yours is unrelated to the thread....
Not jealous, just stating a fact. I still look good. However you will find it very hard to find a guy willing to pay for everything as you get older with nothing in return. I bring up the wealthy men because you made it clear you date guys with money.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:27 PM
^^^Unrelated to my posts then.
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 02:31 PM
Post after post has been about men should should pay for the priviledge of being with a hot charming woman. So what happens then when you lose those looks, and he's still holding up his end of the bargain and paying bills? It's not that much of a jumop that he would think he'd get a better deal with someone younger and prettier.
More importantly, let's say you decide the man should pay for everything so you can spend more time with him. What the heck happens when he's hit by a bus, or decides you just aren't fun anymore? Everything is in his name, and you're screwed.
Yep. I get the feeling the women who are stating this are early-mid 20's and in their hot stage. I was once like them until a few years ago when I woke up to the reality that I wasn't going to be hot my entire life and then when? I am 39 now and still look good, but will not look like I did while dancing the rest of my life. In my younger years I actually bypassed quality men because I thought men should be thrilled to be with a hot young girl.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:35 PM
^^^Well some girls have nothing to them but their looks.
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 02:37 PM
And if looks is the only thing they have they'll find life very lonely. This is why I am thrilled I have brains.
kandie_kitten
10-07-2010, 02:41 PM
Do you? lol
Really? That's just uncalled for. I don't understand why people can't debate without getting aggressive and resorting to name-calling.
Good move on the delete.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:42 PM
^^I deleted it because I thought it was rude. Meanwhile I'm glad you accuse me of name-caling, check out my siggy lol.
kandie_kitten
10-07-2010, 02:43 PM
That's not name calling. That's the truth. We'll all be old hags, no matter what surgery we get or how much moisturizer we use.
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 02:47 PM
That's not name calling. That's the truth. We'll all be old hags, no matter what surgery we get or how much moisturizer we use.
Exactly. I'm fine with being an old hag because aging happens to the best of us.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:47 PM
Yeah okay, what she said wasn't coming from a nasty place at all.
Zinaida
10-07-2010, 02:48 PM
Gotta go make some money, brb ladies.
kandie_kitten
10-07-2010, 02:49 PM
I'm not trying to fight with you; I really don't think it was from a mean place. She was just saying it's easy to have the attitude that men should spoil you when you're young and beautiful. Young and beautiful girls often forget that they too will get old, and will lose those looks.
strippername
10-07-2010, 02:51 PM
Gotta go make some money, brb ladies.
Have fun at your boyfriend's! ;)
girlfromipanema
10-07-2010, 02:58 PM
Suppose the preference for wanting a man who can provide a comfortabe living may be somewhat instinctual. It is taught that in some hunter/gatherer societies the most sought after men were the ones with the best hunting ability, which meant the family would have a better chance at survival. I can see the logic in seeking a well-off man to have a relationship with. They are likely to enjoy a materially prosperous life with this type. There is no guarantee that they would be traded down the road for a younger woman, but there is no guarantee they wouldn't.
If some of the girls in their 20s expect a man to pay for everything perhaps it would be good advice for them to put away some money in the meantime and find some type of career in the event their significant other will no longer take care of them.
Nevertheless, I think Noelle said it best here:
It's wrong to tell women what is and is not appropriate for them to do. Period. That's what feminism is about: choice.
GrlWithTheMost
10-07-2010, 03:11 PM
I totally get what Zinaidas point of view in the situation bc I am in the same boat. Dating a man who can and will provide for a woman does not mean that he is with you for looks. Certainly she is gorgeous but she is obviously a fantastic business woman in this "horrible economy". Sure maybe looks attract. But when you're a "10" meaning you have brains, beauty, charisma, great personality, etc. you can choose whichever type of man you want to be with. (My fiance is not wealthy but he takes care of me and our child financially)
And for the record, if you take care of yourself you can still look hot at 50 years old. Ive seen many women in their 50s still look hot.
Also, just because you have a degree and claim to have brains doesnt mean you're an awesome person. Sorry Ive seen many people with "letters behind their name" that are worthless in my opinion.
Kisca
10-07-2010, 05:13 PM
Appearance is physical. Personality is mental.
In the long-term I believe if you influence a man correctly, you can get anything you want.
If there is no influence then there is no mark of respect (from rent/bills to cheating)
Christany
10-07-2010, 05:26 PM
And for the record, if you take care of yourself you can still look hot at 50 years old. Ive seen many women in their 50s still look hot.
I agree girl. I think a lot of it is not only just about looks, but about the joy and light they exude. There are women who are way older that people are still drawn to because they are magnetic, wise, and smile! They smile externally and internally too. When I grow older I want to be like Florence Henderson, the chicks from the Golden Girls, or that lady Peach from Project Runway. People adore them because their personalities and laughter keep them young.
DesuvsDeath
10-07-2010, 08:22 PM
I'm not really sure where wanting to marry someone who can keep up (financially) with the lifestyle you're accustomed to makes someone a gold digger.
Different people have different levels of comfort... and don't want to live below them. I don't see where there's anything wrong with that.
If someone is able to provide themselves with nice things... it's not unreasonable to think that they would be unwilling to date/live with/marry someone who can barely afford their bills.
I think there's a big difference between someone who is providing themselves a certain level of comfort only wanting to date men who can maintain that if they become involved long term (and move in together)... and someone who can barely pay rent in an apartment expecting someone they were in a relationship with to buy them a house and a new car, ect and they were only with that person for that reason.
The reality is that money plays a part in any relationship. I don't see girls running out to date that hot homeless guy on the corner, after all. Even if he's really nice. Why? Because money matters and he clearly has none.
OFF topic (lol):
Really? That's just uncalled for. I don't understand why people can't debate without getting aggressive and resorting to name-calling.
It seemed like a pretty appropriate response given the other parties post about 10 or so before it.
Rude is rude. It wasn't the first rude reply in this topic... and it's silly to call one person out in a debate that's rude on both ends.
Ditto. I mean, the economy is shitty but I think way too many mediocre strippers and way too many other mediocre 'professionals' love to use it as an excuse for their failure. Because of the economy, the typical overweight stripper with bad hair and a half-filled in sleeve can have 'a legitimate reason' as to why she's not making money... ::)
Agreed. I think that sometimes, just because people have made it into a certain job field, they consider themselves intelligent professionals. So then when they get laid off... it's all "BUT WHY!??! THEY HAD A DEGREE!" ...that doesn't mean they did their job well. It doesn't mean their job was necessary or they were a useful asset to their company.
Someone who does EXACTLY their duties at work... even if they do them well... isn't necessarily someone worth keeping. It's like the stripper who just goes on stage and walks around and asks wanna dance? Sometimes just doing "your job" isn't enough. Sometimes if you don't go above and beyond... you're going to get fired. Even if you're "intelligent and capable".
Kellydancer
10-07-2010, 08:47 PM
On topic: I'm not really sure where wanting to marry someone who can keep up (financially) with the lifestyle you're accustomed to makes someone a gold digger.
Different people have different levels of comfort... and don't want to live below them. I don't see where there's anything wrong with that.
If someone is able to provide themselves with nice things... it's not unreasonable to think that they would be unwilling to date/live with/marry someone who can barely afford their bills.
I think there's a big difference between someone who is providing themselves a certain level of comfort only wanting to date men who can maintain that if they become involved long term (and move in together)... and someone who can barely pay rent in an apartment expecting someone they were in a relationship with to buy them a house and a new car, ect and they were only with that person for that reason.
The reality is that money plays a part in any relationship. I don't see girls running out to date that hot homeless guy on the corner, after all.
Who said anything about dating a homeless man? Yes if one is dating a man so he can provide her with all these luxuries (and this is the only reason she's dating him) then yes she's a gold digger, or do you prefer hooker (no offense to the hookers who are honest with what they do).
It seemed like a pretty appropriate response given the other parties post about 10 or so before it.
Rude is rude. It wasn't the first rude reply in this topic... and it's silly to call one person out in a debate that's rude on both ends.
I was not insulting her, I was stating a fact. Even with the best care, one at 40 or 50 or whatever will not look like one does at 25. If one is depending on their looks in life they'll be in for a rude awakening. I once knew a woman who was a model and a dancer. She was in a serious car accident and she doesn't look like she did. Her husband left her and she has no other skills.
Agreed. I think that sometimes, just because people have made it into a certain job field, they consider themselves intelligent professionals. So then when they get laid off... it's all "BUT WHY!??! THEY HAD A DEGREE!" ...that doesn't mean they did their job well. It doesn't mean their job was necessary or they were a useful asset to their company.
Someone who does EXACTLY their duties at work... even if they do them well... isn't necessarily someone worth keeping. It's like the stripper who just goes on stage and walks around and asks wanna dance? Sometimes just doing "your job" isn't enough. Sometimes if you don't go above and beyond... you're going to get fired. Even if you're "intelligent and capable".
If this was aimed at me, you don't know the reasons I lost my job. You don't know that my employer decided to get rid of people in my department to bring in their people, and cut costs because of tax dollars being cut. Just look up corruption in Cook County. My one coworker who worked very hard and free overtime was fired. MANY people are let go for many reasons, including they just felt like it. This is common at at will states (look this up). Employers keep lazy workers. My former employer kept an employee because she was sleeping with a politician. Actually, I don't have to justify why I lost my job except to say contrary to what a few people think the economy is bad. If it's as great as certain people claim, then I'd like to see these people donate to a food pantry because they are going broke.
DesuvsDeath
10-07-2010, 09:32 PM
Women who want to date men who make the same kind of money they do aren't gold diggers.
Women who fake feelings/relationships with men so they can have money, are.
Money is important to everyone, it's necessary for survival... the only difference is how important money is to people. If money is important to you... you marry someone to whom money is equally important (ex: someone who makes a lot of money)... I don't think that makes you a gold digger.
[@ Kellydancer... there was a nice long reply here adressing your comments/questions...
But you're a drama-mongerer trying to spread this self-created conflict into another thread.
You're right, I am not your boss. Just someone who asked you nicely to keep your drama from this thread IN this thread... you know, to be considerate of the rest of the board... but you can't even do that, so I'll take your advice and just block you now.
FYI: your last comment was paranoid and crazy. I don't know you, how would I know you got fired/why you got fired and why would I take the time to reply to someone else's comment just to indirectly insult you for not being able to keep a job? :D]
KaylaM
10-07-2010, 09:50 PM
The smartest person in the world would probably create their own job.
Exactly!
Jessie_tinydancer
10-07-2010, 09:56 PM
I had an interesting thought... I wonder how often women who put heavy weighting on a man being able to provide everything financially and be in an elite salary bracket are actually even in a relationship? A lot of you girls are kick ass singles and making good money. But in theory I am married to man with a decent but not elite salary with whom I share most expenses...
I'm thinking a lot more of my money gets saved because I am in a relationship vs looking for something specific ie. man with shitloads of money. Being in a relationship means my expenses are shared so in theory right now I am much better off?
Plus I not only get financial support (not everything), I get love, affection, shared goals, dreams, aspirations, a partner and soul mate. I am confident that my partner wants to be with me because he loves me and not because I make x$$. I wonder what a man would feel like knowing he's mainly an atm. I wonder how many mistresses he would have to gain the feeling of unconditional love and appreciation.
Christany
10-07-2010, 10:01 PM
I had an interesting thought... I wonder how often women who put heavy weighting on a man being able to provide everything financially and be in an elite salary bracket are actually even in a relationship? A lot of you girls are kick ass singles and making good money. But in theory I am married to man with a decent but not elite salary with whom I share most expenses...
I'm thinking a lot more of my money gets saved because I am in a relationship vs looking for something specific ie. man with shitloads of money. Being in a relationship means my expenses are shared so in theory right now I am much better off?
Plus I not only get financial support (not everything), I get love, affection, shared goals, dreams, aspirations, a partner and soul mate. I am confident that my partner wants to be with me because he loves me and not because I make x$$. I wonder what a man would feel like knowing he's mainly an atm. I wonder how many mistresses he would have to gain the feeling of unconditional love and appreciation.
That's really interesting to think about. I think every individual's value system is different. The points they assign to each value and the weight it carries varies greatly woman to woman, much like with stripping. Some women value working at a certain club because they can get X, Y, and Z, so they're willing to compromise on W. Others might decided W carries the most weight.
KaylaM
10-07-2010, 10:07 PM
I have always said this and I will say it again: A man is the head of the household. LET THE MAN BE THE MAN. To those of you supporting your man GREAT! Just know he's not a man he's a bitch! Sure keep telling yourself that the economy's bad and he'll find a job soon... umm if he hasn't found one by now and he's been a couch potato for the last 3 months... keep dreaming. You are enabling him. You're not bringing out the best in him. I will be there for my man if he REALLY needed me to be but for me to pay the bills when HE'S living under the same roof? C'mon .. alot of you seriously need a reality check. A man will do what you allow him to. Don't forget that.
Jessie_tinydancer
10-07-2010, 10:35 PM
^ I dont support my man. He can support himself. He has a good job. He is a manager of an entire department at a large city council. The largest in the country in fact. He could support us both but that would mean we would have to cut back in order to make up the difference of what I make now. So that makes him a bitch?
4everresolutions
10-07-2010, 10:38 PM
She was just saying it's easy to have the attitude that men should spoil you when you're young and beautiful. Young and beautiful girls often forget that they too will get old, and will lose those looks.
I don't think men should only spoil me because I'm good-looking (which I do think I'll be at any age, as I look after myself well), he should (and mainly) spoil me because he thinks I have an amazing personality, we have a serious, deep, loving connection and I'm 1-in-1,000,000,000 kinda gal.
rubyredlipsss
10-07-2010, 10:49 PM
aagh. i was going to just watch from afar because it's so damn entertaining. but i guess i'll state my opinion. i have to agree with one point desvus mentioned. and that there's nothing wrong for wanting a partner who lives a similar lifestyle. i'm not cheap and would have a hard time being with someone who is cheap. so wanting someone who is of similar socioeconomic status, to me, is somewhat natural.
i dunno, to me there's a difference between someone who wants a man based on his income and income that translates to particular qualities such as work ethic, similar lifestyle, etc that are desired.
GrlWithTheMost
10-08-2010, 12:05 AM
I have always said this and I will say it again: A man is the head of the household. LET THE MAN BE THE MAN. To those of you supporting your man GREAT! Just know he's not a man he's a bitch! Sure keep telling yourself that the economy's bad and he'll find a job soon... umm if he hasn't found one by now and he's been a couch potato for the last 3 months... keep dreaming. You are enabling him. You're not bringing out the best in him. I will be there for my man if he REALLY needed me to be but for me to pay the bills when HE'S living under the same roof? C'mon .. alot of you seriously need a reality check. A man will do what you allow him to. Don't forget that.
lmfao. well said!!!!
Jessie_tinydancer
10-08-2010, 12:05 AM
^ couldnt agree more (with Ruby). Similar values are paramount to the success of a relationship. Thats why I would never expect some guy to pay for my way. I expect someone who works hard and is not a mooch but nothing more. Would I turn down a billionaire? No obviously not. But I wouldnt turn my nose up at an MD because he only makes $100K. Pleeaaase. And think of all the successful married women. If their husbands demanded they stop working ... what would the world lose??
Angelina Jolie
Gwen Steffani
Beyonce Knowles
Hilary Clinton
Their husbands are certainly not bums just because they have careers. Heck Gwen Steffani makes waaaaaaaaay more than Gavin Rossdale and he is still a fucking hot piece of ass. I think she's still doing well. And I dont think he is a loser because she is more successful than her. It takes a very strong man to have a more successful wife and still be proud of her achievements and support her in other ways.
KaylaM
10-08-2010, 05:19 AM
^ I dont support my man. He can support himself. He has a good job. He is a manager of an entire department at a large city council. The largest in the country in fact. He could support us both but that would mean we would have to cut back in order to make up the difference of what I make now. So that makes him a bitch?
Jessie, I did not quote you so I was not talking to you. I was responding to the whole board. Yes you say beyonce and gwen stefani are rich and also have rich husband.. TRUE! However, I am sure that Beyonce isn't splitting the rent/mortgage with JAYZ. She also mentioned something similar to this in a recent 60 minutes interview. Dude is the richest rapper in the world . I am not saying women should be bums and bum off the man. I never said that. I am saying BE SUCCESSFUL but he needs to BE SUCCESSFUL too. Do not pamper and spoil a man financially. You can spoil him with loving/lots of sex and gifts every now and then but don't go as far as providing for HIM. Let him do the providing.
....
Wait.. What the fuck is the point living with a man or a man living with you? I would be annoyed as hell if I had a man living with me and he wasn't footing the bills. I guess that's the way I was raised. My mom was here 13 years in the united states before she went back home to Nigeria and my dad paid the mortgage/billsevery single month. Mind you she had a very successful store in Greenville, south Carolina but he still PAID THE BILLS because that's just what real men do. Real men take care of their familes/responsibilities.The money she made from that store was pretty much play money and whatever we (the kids) needed. There's 6 of us.
I am not saying I will only marry a rich man. I am saying that whoever I end up with will have to be financially stable and able to take care of me and my daughter. I don't think my father would allow it any other way anyways. In my country a man is considered USELESS when he can't provide or ALLOWS his wife to provide for the family. In that case, He is considered a bitch.
Corey
10-08-2010, 11:16 AM
^ couldnt agree more (with Ruby). Similar values are paramount to the success of a relationship. Thats why I would never expect some guy to pay for my way. I expect someone who works hard and is not a mooch but nothing more. Would I turn down a billionaire? No obviously not. But I wouldnt turn my nose up at an MD because he only makes $100K. Pleeaaase. And think of all the successful married women. If their husbands demanded they stop working ... what would the world lose??
Angelina Jolie
Gwen Steffani
Beyonce Knowles
Hilary Clinton
Their husbands are certainly not bums just because they have careers. Heck Gwen Steffani makes waaaaaaaaay more than Gavin Rossdale and he is still a fucking hot piece of ass. I think she's still doing well. And I dont think he is a loser because she is more successful than her. It takes a very strong man to have a more successful wife and still be proud of her achievements and support her in other ways.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
I agree. My parents wouldn't let me leave the house until I had a degree completed. Because I worked so hard on my education, I would only date men who had an educational level at least equal to mine, but preferably more advanced. I had this attitude when I was 19. They had to have goals or already be on the road to a great career. Or come from a family background that I felt comfortable with. However, I could never imagine myself not working and/or contributing.
My husband is very successful and supportive. I am honored to have his family as my in-laws. And yeah, he has the advanced degrees. I hurt my back earlier this year and haven't been able to dance/work as much as I would like, but he insists on paying for everything. This actually makes me feel a bit awkward, though I am grateful.
I just want to be able to do the same for him if anything ever happens.
"Moochers" were mentioned in this thread. These guys do exist. I know, I've had friends involved w/ these type of men. But the ladies involved with men like these have a choice. They don't have to be involved.
Kellydancer
10-08-2010, 12:08 PM
^ couldnt agree more (with Ruby). Similar values are paramount to the success of a relationship. Thats why I would never expect some guy to pay for my way. I expect someone who works hard and is not a mooch but nothing more. Would I turn down a billionaire? No obviously not. But I wouldnt turn my nose up at an MD because he only makes $100K. Pleeaaase. And think of all the successful married women. If their husbands demanded they stop working ... what would the world lose??
Angelina Jolie
Gwen Steffani
Beyonce Knowles
Hilary Clinton
Their husbands are certainly not bums just because they have careers. Heck Gwen Steffani makes waaaaaaaaay more than Gavin Rossdale and he is still a fucking hot piece of ass. I think she's still doing well. And I dont think he is a loser because she is more successful than her. It takes a very strong man to have a more successful wife and still be proud of her achievements and support her in other ways.
This. What I don't understand is why some people are equating guys who want to share money 50% to moochers? They are NOT the same thing. Who would date a guy expecting a woman to pay for everything? I wouldn't. But yes since I am quite capable of taking care of myself I don't expect anyone else to support me. And Jessie made a great point about if one divorced. I know a few women who believed the man should support them. The man dumped them and they had no choice but to go on welfare or move back home. Why would I mess with that possibility?
Athenathefabulous
10-08-2010, 12:24 PM
wow, what the hell is this argument really about?
isnt this really a matter of what type of men you ladies are attracted to? Some ladies (zinaida, JD) seem to want the alpha male who is protective and will provide for her and wouldnt even think of letting her foot the bill. and some ladies are attracted to a more moderate type of male who is willing to split responsibility.
I dont think that Zinaida or JD said that every man should pay for everything for every woman, i think that is what they said would be their ideal relationship.
And kelly's, elvia's, etc etc ideal relationship would be one where money was split equally and the man was ok sharing that responsibility.
how did this blow up into a shit show? really? everyone is attracted to different types of people. some girls would never date a guys shorter than them, some girls would never date a guy with out a 6 pack, and some girls would never date a guy who wouldnt pay the rent. its all just preference really.
saying that women are being bad feminists by not paying rent or saying that women are letting men mooch because they split the rent is ludicrous IMO.
i think one thing we can all agree on is the 'stereotypical stripper boyfriend' who lives with the stripper while she pays rent and is unemployed due to his video game and pot habit is a no go. other than that, love, attraction, and relationships come in many different forms. as long as both parties are happy who is to say that the other people are doing it wrong? no need to jump down eachothers throats!
Elvia
10-08-2010, 01:48 PM
I have always said this and I will say it again: A man is the head of the household. LET THE MAN BE THE MAN. To those of you supporting your man GREAT! Just know he's not a man he's a bitch! Sure keep telling yourself that the economy's bad and he'll find a job soon... umm if he hasn't found one by now and he's been a couch potato for the last 3 months... keep dreaming. You are enabling him. You're not bringing out the best in him. I will be there for my man if he REALLY needed me to be but for me to pay the bills when HE'S living under the same roof? C'mon .. alot of you seriously need a reality check. A man will do what you allow him to. Don't forget that.
Has ANYONE here said they are supporting a man? Maybe I missed something, but I don't think so.
I'm really sick of people acting as if there are only two options- the man pays for everything, or the woman pays for everything. This is not the first time it's been mentioned that people keep resorting to this bizarre logical fallacy. Why they continue to do so is beyond me...
girlfromipanema
10-08-2010, 01:58 PM
how did this blow up into a shit show?
Haha exactly! This shouldn't have even become a debate. It is a matter of preference, but some people feel personally offended that others don't view the issue the same as them. Instead of trying to understand the other point of view, we get blanket statements, lectures on how we should live, and insults to those who share different opinions. Some don't know how to live and let live. I'm glad you know how.
charlie61
10-08-2010, 02:33 PM
^ Part of the issue too is that it really is hard to 'hear' peoples' viewpoints via the internet sometimes. People can't hear intonation, etc, and so it's pretty easy to get offended.
KaylaM
10-08-2010, 02:35 PM
Has ANYONE here said they are supporting a man? Maybe I missed something, but I don't think so.
.
Elvia, You should know better. Visit the Life support section on this site. Some of the stories there are pretty pathetic and yes it's about how the chick is supporting her guy and he treats her like shit. ... Welcome to Stripperweb.
That is what I was referring to. I was not referring to anyone in particular.