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Arialandre
10-12-2010, 01:23 PM
Oh my god this thread is so much dramaaaaa. All I know is that I didn't pay rent for Oct, and I probably won't be paying any for Now...or Dec....

PleasureVictim
10-12-2010, 05:11 PM
Girls dont like boys. Girls like cars and money??? Good Charlotte you are so clever.

I definitely fall into that catergory.}:D

Ladies, we have to let others do what works for them. If I want a man who will pay for everything while I sit my happy ass on the couch and don't contribute- that is my cross to bear. If I find that guy, all the merrier.

That isn't setting women back at all. I consider myself a feminist and I don't believe that the only way to be equal is to pay my own way in every situation. If I'm invited out to eat, I will not expect to pay for my meal or his to show independence. To me, that's just bad manners.

Kisca
10-12-2010, 05:55 PM
I have yet to live with a man that was actually clean or didn't annoy me in some way. I like having them around I guess because I think they'll keep me safe if someone breaks in. Even without them I still would prefer to have a maid... but living without a man actually would save me money because I'd only need her to come in once per week ($50) versus 2-3 ($100 - $150) times per week. I also wouldn't need so much space for all their junk, so living alone is cheaper because you don't need so much space. BTW, why do I always find the guys who have more junk than I do?!

At this point I think I'd rather just have my own place. If a guy wants to go out fine. He can pick me up at my place, drop me off at the door after... & as long as he doesn't expect me to pay for his meal I'm 100% happy. As for feeling safe, I have re-thought my opinions on guns & plan to take some classes at shooting range. I'm also a cat person but if I suddenly get a big dog... don't anyone be surprised.

I'll be damned before I have some man thinking I'm going to ask him for money & playing "housewife". If a guy wants to pay for my living expenses fine - but right now: he's not living with me & I will continue working because I don't ever want to find myself at his mercy. Yes, I'm in a sour mood about this. Maybe one day I'll get over it... maybe I won't.



Im totally with this. I lived with a guy for a year and so.. and its annoying cleaning up and then more of his mess. He has horriable allerigies and leaves his nasty tissues everywhere - I dont touch those but throw them in his terrority. I started doing if you dont clean - I dont clean. Sadly at all, he does not mind it and it sickens me, that I am soon getting a maid or doing it myself since Ill be going into surgury and want a clean place.

As for the feeling safe part, I can also relate on. But I know many men these days that will save their own ass compared to their girlfriends/wives if their life dependend on it. I find that really.. really disgusting for some reason.. In my view and the way I grew up, I look as the man as the man, and he should protect me. But these days.. dogs are more loyal and they love you without leaving a mess or annoyance.

I strongly agree on your money view with this. Going into mercy to his feet.. doesnt not look a good idea at all. I rather work while I have 2 legs and 2 arms, I can do that myself and I'll be happy if I make more than men, since right now the best person to depend on is you.

tempest666
10-12-2010, 06:12 PM
why does it bother you so much elvia? omg!!!! Why are you mad that people are attacking it? Sorry for attacking it... WOW! If I knew it would bother you so much I wouldn't have said a thing. Geez.

Oh you can call the woman who chooses to stay at home a "bitch" all you want. I. do. not. care for those type of people. I am very independent and all for independent women. I never encouraged anyone to become stay-at-home housewives. I find it EXTREMELY degrading.

I'm proof you can't turn a ho into a housewife!!!! Argh! I was tugging on the sheets trying to make the bed and I fell off and hit my head! Fucking housework sucks!!!>:(

*trying her best to lighten mood!*

Arialandre
10-12-2010, 06:17 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA

Girl I've been folding laundry for like an hour now because I keep being distracted and reading threads on SW!!!

tempest666
10-12-2010, 06:19 PM
I daresay I'm the messy one in this relationship. Chris is a bit of a neatfreak so when he sees books all over the place and unearths chopsticks he does get a little agitated. We both split the bills equally and we hardly ever fight about money.

The only times he has forbidden me from buying something is when I tried to buy a monkey.

Kisca
10-12-2010, 07:25 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA

Girl I've been folding laundry for like an hour now because I keep being distracted and reading threads on SW!!!

Fuck laundry - Get a maid :P

I cannot stand doing that - I stopped. I used to it since I was a guy then, did it from pure love hmm.. now he does it himself off the floor like a dog. What a good boy. I step on his things if it isn't folded.

Kylea2
10-12-2010, 09:21 PM
The only times he has forbidden me from buying something is when I tried to buy a monkey.
http://i700.photobucket.com/albums/ww6/ghosthacker32/Spank20the20Monkey.jpg

http://www.addictinggames.com/monkey.html

- Sorry, had to. }:D

princessjas
10-13-2010, 03:32 AM
I don't know about NM but This is the case for ALOT of people. It is STANDARD for a lot of people. Where I'm from it is. Americans do ALOT of things differently from people in other parts of the world.

The thing is when they come to America they don't become Americanized (though some do) they live their lives by what they were taught. Call it fucked up or wrong but I like it.

Not only people from other countries but some people were raised to be/think and live a certain way. This shouldn't be a surprise to you.

I think this is the problem. Call us crazy, but we are just like every other country in regards to our expectations. If you come here, you need to know the language and the customs. Simple. If I went to China, I'd know Chinese before I went (and what was acceptable behavoir). If you are going to another country, adapt to them, don't be so damn ignorant you expect them to adapt to you.

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 03:37 AM
I think this is the problem. Call us crazy, but we are just like every other country in regards to our expectations. If you come here, you need to know the language and the customs. Simple. If I went to China, I'd know Chinese before I went (and what was acceptable behavoir). If you are going to another country, adapt to them, don't be so damn ignorant you expect them to adapt to you.

I am going to go off topic here ... brace yourselves... lol


lol @ me being ignorant. That was one of the most ignorant things ive read on sw. Sorry everyone doesn't think the same way you do Jas. Chinese people come here and they don't forget their chinese. Ethiopian people come here and they don't forget their ethiopian. Nigerians (Like myself) come here and they don't forget their Nigerian. For example: My best friend is from Kuwait and everytime she comes to my house she takes her shoes off at the door. I tell her "Vy YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT" She says "No it's not right we do not wear shoes in the house". That is not an american thing but she does it. Perfect example of our culture follows us wherever we go. There is NOTHING like strong culture!

I think it is safe to say that I am somewhat "well traveled" I always adapt to wherever I go of course BUT I never forget where I came from. Sorry thats just the way it is.

Where the fuck did you get that I wanted "them" whoever they are to adapt to me? and who said anything about not knowing the language and customs? Just because one lives in america doesn't mean they have to do things the American way. speak english and abide by the laws FANTASTIC but you don't have to talk like an american and eat american food just because you're in america. I sure as hell DON'T! American is a frikkin Melting Pot. Let's not be ignorant here. America IS not like Sierra Leone or Morroco. Everyone is here! Mexicans, Indians, Asians, Africans, Japanese... they're here. LOADS OF THEM! Comparing America to Chinas is like Comparing apples and oranges.. seriously? Sorry I don't get where the hell you got that from Princessjas. I know I went totally off topic but I had to respond to that b.s post!

I have been living in america since 96 and I have only 2 american friends. My best friends in high school were asian and mexican. Yes this is america but trust me when I say that there are LOTS of other nationalities here and they do NOT follow american "customs". In nigeria, you WILL see a caucasian, you might see an asian, you MIGHT see someone from sierra leone but go to Nigeria and show me two mexicans and two indians and I will give you 5k. Nigeria, for example, is not like America. Again Apples and Oranges.

Case closed.

Had to edit this before it got outta hand..

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 04:21 AM
"America has no real defined culture, its just really what it is, a melting pot of different cultures mixing together. There is no standard of culture in America, in different parts there are different religious beliefs, political affiliations and races."

... and these are NOT my words.

So what am I supposed to be adapting to here? Last time I checked everyone ran their household the way THEY wanted?

princessjas
10-13-2010, 06:30 AM
^^I am not saying that people should forget their culture, but to come here and be angry at American's because our culture differs is not acceptable imo.....and that is what I have encountered many times. People who do not know English or even Spanish or French or Creole which are commonly spoken here act like it is OUR problem for not understanding them. Act angry because our hair isn't covered, etc. I'm not making this up, I was engaged to and lived with a guy from Algeria for years and this kind of thing was routine when meeting his friends.

Also, my post wasn't directed at you. You mentioned you had integrated just fine, I was addressing those morons who work in fast food, etc. who scream at you because you speak English and have no clue what the hell they are saying or bitch at you for not having your arms covered when it is 90 freakin degrees out (yeah, that's about a third the fast food employees around here).

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 06:53 AM
^^I am not saying that people should forget their culture, but to come here and be angry at American's because our culture differs is not acceptable imo.....and that is what I have encountered many times. People who do not know English or even Spanish or French or Creole which are commonly spoken here act like it is OUR problem for not understanding them. Act angry because our hair isn't covered, etc. I'm not making this up, I was engaged to and lived with a guy from Algeria for years and this kind of thing was routine when meeting his friends.

Also, my post wasn't directed at you. You mentioned you had integrated just fine, I was addressing those morons who work in fast food, etc. who scream at you because you speak English and have no clue what the hell they are saying or bitch at you for not having your arms covered when it is 90 freakin degrees out (yeah, that's about a third the fast food employees around here).

You quoted me, That is why I responded the way I did to you..

Honestly, I have never experienced any thing you've mentioned. I have heard other say they have.. I just haven't myself.

I've also heard that Americans don't try to understand what foreigners are saying. Instead they say things like "huh what was that" or Laugh at them. So it goes both ways. We should learn how to accept and adapt to other cultures.

tempest666
10-13-2010, 08:37 AM
My man may not pay the rent but he makes up for it in other ways }:D Gonna go shower now. Doing our part to save the enviornment with 2 people in the shower.

Oh yeah back on topic. Can we just agree to disagree. You know I love everyone on here to some degree or another and the catfighting in Other work was extremely annoying to sort through. I hope when I come back everyone will have happy faces and I'll be walking bowlegged. ::)

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 10:24 AM
^^I am not saying that people should forget their culture, but to come here and be angry at American's because our culture differs is not acceptable imo.....and that is what I have encountered many times. People who do not know English or even Spanish or French or Creole which are commonly spoken here act like it is OUR problem for not understanding them. Act angry because our hair isn't covered, etc. I'm not making this up, I was engaged to and lived with a guy from Algeria for years and this kind of thing was routine when meeting his friends.

Also, my post wasn't directed at you. You mentioned you had integrated just fine, I was addressing those morons who work in fast food, etc. who scream at you because you speak English and have no clue what the hell they are saying or bitch at you for not having your arms covered when it is 90 freakin degrees out (yeah, that's about a third the fast food employees around here).

I've encountered people who don't respect American culture etc and it infuriates me. I once met a guy from a Muslim country (name escapes me now) who refused to do business with me because "women don't own businesses" (this is when I ran a bachelor party service). I've met people here yet they refused to speak English and expected me to speak Spanish to them. As far as I'm concerned every single one of these people can go back to where they are from. I wouldn't expect people in other countries to cater to me, they shouldn't expect it here.

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 10:53 AM
I've encountered people who don't respect American culture etc and it infuriates me. I once met a guy from a Muslim country (name escapes me now) who refused to do business with me because "women don't own businesses" (this is when I ran a bachelor party service). I've met people here yet they refused to speak English and expected me to speak Spanish to them. As far as I'm concerned every single one of these people can go back to where they are from. I wouldn't expect people in other countries to cater to me, they shouldn't expect it here.

It's very easy to avoid idiots in the bachelor party industry isn't it? I take it you had a website up and all and the guy decided whether or not he wanted to use you for the party by looking at your pictures and rates.. that's how it works with my work as an escort. If I went on a call and someone started talking crazy like that I'd take my money and leave.

You can dislike foreigners all you want but fact of the matter is america is a melting pot and they aren't going ANYWHERE.

Brings me to my next question.. what is American Culture? Please Enlighten me? What culture does America have? Last time I checked American culture was Hotdog, Hamburger and Holiday. "America" does not have it's own culture. Other cultures make America what it is today. This is why America is soo "beautiful".

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 10:58 AM
My man may not pay the rent but he makes up for it in other ways }:D Gonna go shower now. Doing our part to save the enviornment with 2 people in the shower.

Oh yeah back on topic. Can we just agree to disagree. You know I love everyone on here to some degree or another and the catfighting in Other work was extremely annoying to sort through. I hope when I come back everyone will have happy faces and I'll be walking bowlegged. ::)

I'm actually enjoying this discussion. I think it's safe to say we're all different and lead different lifestyles.

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 11:00 AM
It's very easy to avoid idiots in the bachelor party industry isn't it? I take it you had a website up and all and the guy decided whether or not he wanted to use you for the party by looking at your pictures and rates.. that's how it works with my work as an escort. If I went on a call and someone started talking crazy like that I'd take my money and leave.

You can dislike foreigners all you want but fact of the matter is america is a melting pot and they aren't going ANYWHERE.

Brings me to my next question.. what is American Culture? Please Enlighten me? What culture does America have? Last time I checked American culture was Hotdog, Hamburger and Holiday. "America" does not have it's own culture. Other cultures make America what it is today. This is why America is soo "beautiful".

This is before the websites where this guy contacted me (heard about me from someone else) but didn't want to deal with a woman business owner. I don't "hate" foreigners but if they are here they need to respect the American value, which is we don't think of women as cattle. If they don't like it they are welcome to go home. Only foreigners who assimiliate belong here. If I hear about one more honor killing I will scream because we don't do that here and these people need to be deported ASAP.

Jessie_tinydancer
10-13-2010, 02:12 PM
It's very easy to avoid idiots in the bachelor party industry isn't it? I take it you had a website up and all and the guy decided whether or not he wanted to use you for the party by looking at your pictures and rates.. that's how it works with my work as an escort. If I went on a call and someone started talking crazy like that I'd take my money and leave.

You can dislike foreigners all you want but fact of the matter is america is a melting pot and they aren't going ANYWHERE.

Brings me to my next question.. what is American Culture? Please Enlighten me? What culture does America have? Last time I checked American culture was Hotdog, Hamburger and Holiday. "America" does not have it's own culture. Other cultures make America what it is today. This is why America is soo "beautiful".

Im not American nor have I ever lived in America but I am Canadian/Australian and both places also heavily rely and have relied in the past on immigration. True there might not be obvious culture norms like say in some very old european countries or asian cultures, but to call your own country (you live there right) a hot dog and hamburger culture is very weird to me. I certainly dont see my adopted country Australia as a beach bum society full of ex criminals.

From an outsiders perspective I believe America represents the free world. A place where men and women are equal and where anyone can make it. A place where you can live your life the way you want and speak freely and be who you want to be. I believe it population wise to be a heavily Christian society (thinking bible belt here) or at least built on Christian values. It has the largest Media and Entertainment industry and I note that the media has a heavy Jewish influence. I see it as a culture that is confident and cut throat and a powerhouse in the world and you can see this attitude in Americans overseas.

Are there negative implications to this culture too? Sure. Honestly Im guilty of thinking "stupid americans" too. But thats mainly because it is so gigantic that you cant possible operate without some shit in there especially with so many cultures trying to mix.

Living in Canada and Australia are very much the same. Sure we might not have some special dish besides maple syrup (canada) or prawns on the barbie (Aus), or a special cultural attire or a certain bizarre cultural norm, but that doesnt mean there isnt a culture. I see the culture here being breached everyday and I grew up being taught to accept all cultures. Now every day I become less and less accepting when I see people who dont speak english, people walking around in full burkas (sp?), and when shit goes down like in my elementary school when we could no longer have a Christmas concert or sing Oh holy night because we might offend other cultures? WTF? Last time I checked we were still part of the Commonwealth and came from England. From the Christian queen. I have no problem with other beliefs but when you are in my house you operate under my rules. I have assimilated to Australia. I speak the way they speak and I behave the way they behave. Have I lost my Canadian? No but when Im in a group of Australians I will follow their norms out of respect to them. Im in their home.

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 03:04 PM
Im not American nor have I ever lived in America but I am Canadian/Australian and both places also heavily rely and have relied in the past on immigration. True there might not be obvious culture norms like say in some very old european countries or asian cultures, but to call your own country (you live there right) a hot dog and hamburger culture is very weird to me. I certainly dont see my adopted country Australia as a beach bum society full of ex criminals.

I live here it's not my country and all I did was tell the truth. Call It weird I don't care. That is YOUR perspective of austrailia. I am just speaking my mind.


From an outsiders perspective I believe America represents the free world. A place where men and women are equal and where anyone can make it. A place where you can live your life the way you want and speak freely and be who you want to be. I believe it population wise to be a heavily Christian society (thinking bible belt here) or at least built on Christian values. It has the largest Media and Entertainment industry and I note that the media has a heavy Jewish influence. I see it as a culture that is confident and cut throat and a powerhouse in the world and you can see this attitude in Americans overseas.

.... and I DID just say this in my own little way. Please go back and read what I posted. I can also say what I want.. this is a free country isn't it?


Are there negative implications to this culture too? Sure. Honestly Im guilty of thinking "stupid americans" too. But thats mainly because it is so gigantic that you cant possible operate without some shit in there especially with so many cultures trying to mix.

Again... I am confused as to what America's Culture is.


I have no problem with other beliefs but when you are in my house you operate under my rules.

Exactly.


I have assimilated to Australia. I speak the way they speak and I behave the way they behave. Have I lost my Canadian? No but when Im in a group of Australians I will follow their norms out of respect to them. Im in their home.

Sure when I'm in a group of Americans I don't speak with my normal accent. Just so THEY can understand better.. Do I have to do this? Hell no but If I spoke with my nigerian/british accent I would get funny looks and it would be hard for some to understand me. When I have my american friend over do I pop in my nigerian movie? No. I put in an american movie.. This is just to accomodate her. However, When I go clubbin I go to Liberian/Cameroonian/Nigerian clubs not American. The only time I will consider going to an american club is if I was with an american person. In fact, I feel very uncomfortable at American clubs especially black american clubs. Yeah Jessie I guess you can call me "weird".

So just because someone lives in America doesn't mean they have to live the American way or do things American people do.

prettysammie
10-13-2010, 03:37 PM
This discussion is interesting to me because I'm living with some guys right now who aren't asking me to pay any rent. We were dating/fwb's before I moved in, so when I got kicked out of my apartment it seemed natural for me to move in because I was there so much anyway. Over all it's been great, but lately it's gotten kind of weird with one of the guys. It's hard to describe, but the other guys feel like friends who are helping me out, but he's making me feel like I'm a prostitute who's using pussy to pay my rent.

I think when money gets involved it makes different people act differently. He feels I owe him something other than gratitude and wants to get "his money's worth." But everyone else just seems to like having me around. I'm not stupid enough to think how I look and my relationship with them doesn't play a part, but it's different. Now I just don't know how to break up with one guy I live with without having to move out.

4everresolutions
10-13-2010, 03:40 PM
I think this thread has become a catch-all for the discussion of different members values, morals and beliefs. As long as the moderators and OP don't mind the off-topicness, I gotta say I'm really enjoying the converstaion and reading everyones points of view. We could make a new topic but it wouldn't be as passionate as this one has become.

Anyway, I have to agree that America is a melting pot - and I wish it were less of one. Although you do see various cultures who move to the US stand out and represent themselves, a lot more of those cultures try and melt into the "Americana-ways". Many try and abandon who they are and where they come from in hopes of being accepted in the USA.... they give up their traditions and values and try and blend in. That's sad, IMO - because neither the immigrants nor the 'nationals' are happy with this. The newcomers are suppressing their nature and values and the locals see this as an attempt to assimilate and 'take over' their country. I wish it wasn't this way and the various cultures in America were celebrated instead of being swept under the rug.

I'm in Canada now, and it's really more of a tossed salad than a melting pot. All the different cultures and ethnicity's stand apart from each other brightly - and in all I think it brings the country closer. I'm in Toronto right now - and it's considered a 'City of Neighborhoods" because it really is; there's a Little Portugal, Little Italy, China Town, Greek Market, Little Africa, etc....It's great fun and GREAT food and it's nice to be able to experience something so different from what YOU were raised with - street events and celebrations....I don't have anything aganist someone who comes to this country and doesn't know english yet. They have to learn it somehow. Mind you, it is irritating when they've lived here 20 years and still haven't bothered to learn.

Malayla (or Kayla?) - Judging from this thread and a few others, I have to say that we have eerily similar values/ideas when it comes to things like family, money, men and culture. Maybe it's because we were both raised elsewhere before being brought to the US as teens (even though we were brought up on different ends of the world).

rubyredlipsss
10-13-2010, 05:05 PM
I think this thread has become a catch-all for the discussion of different members values, morals and beliefs. As long as the moderators and OP don't mind the off-topicness, I gotta say I'm really enjoying the converstaion and reading everyones points of view. We could make a new topic but it wouldn't be as passionate as this one has become.

i agree.

maybe because i've been raised in california in an area where there are a lot of immigrants, i can say it doesn't bother me that there are people who don't speak english. maybe because i've lived in another country where i myself struggled to speak the language even after 7 years of studying it. while gender equality is a characteristic of industrialized nations, so is immigration. imo, i like the diversity and don't see any problem with someone who moves to the us to keep their values from their home-country.

and i too would like to know what 'american culture' is. i'm honestly sick of hearing about how immigrants need to assimilate in order to be american.

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 05:37 PM
i agree.

maybe because i've been raised in california in an area where there are a lot of immigrants, i can say it doesn't bother me that there are people who don't speak english. maybe because i've lived in another country where i myself struggled to speak the language even after 7 years of studying it. while gender equality is a characteristic of industrialized nations, so is immigration. imo, i like the diversity and don't see any problem with someone who moves to the us to keep their values from their home-country.

and i too would like to know what 'american culture' is. i'm honestly sick of hearing about how immigrants need to assimilate in order to be american.

By assimilating I expect immigrants to learn English and not sponge off our system. Years ago (before I got into dancing) I briefly worked for a social service agency that helped people on welfare and the amount of immgrants getting welfare and social security (who incidentally never paid in) was astounding. These immigrants all need to be deported because I don't want to support freeloaders in this country, let alone foreign freeloaders. Also, we are a Christian country and while I don't want to see things like prayer in school I don't want to see things like Christmas parties taken out because it might offend other cultures (Like what Jessie Tinydancer mentions). I have a good friend who lives in an area populated by many Muslims. She's often talking about how they have gone into the public schools and complained about things like holiday events and other issues. I have no problems with immigrants coming here (my great grandparents and even my paternal grandmother were all immigrants) just come legally, learn English and work hard. Don't enforce your views on other people here.

princessjas
10-13-2010, 06:06 PM
200 years ago, we had no culture and were just a big mixing pot. I find it very offensive when people assume we must have stayed that way for their convenience though. We have developed a culture and having people get upset about it doesn't make it less true. Sure, there are no concrete judgements and you won't get stoned to death for varying them, but there are certain societal norms (which admittedly change from one coast to the other and from North to South, but we are a BIG country so what do you expect). If you come into the south with attitude and are unwilling to talk to people, you will not do well. Our cultural background involves being nice and friendly and speaking to everyone. If you go up North (on the East Coast) and say hi to everyone you pass on the street and try to strike up a convo, you are voilating their personal space and will make them feel uncomfy. Even though I'm US born I try to be VERY aware of my surroundings as to not offend anyone. :O

KaylaM
10-13-2010, 07:18 PM
If you come into the south with attitude and are unwilling to talk to people, you will not do well. Our cultural background involves being nice and friendly and speaking to everyone. If you go up North (on the East Coast) and say hi to everyone you pass on the street and try to strike up a convo, you are voilating their personal space and will make them feel uncomfy.

This is EVERYWHERE not just in the U.S. ... think about it. Just FYI.

4everresolutions
10-13-2010, 07:26 PM
. Also, we are a Christian country and while I don't want to see things like prayer in school I don't want to see things like Christmas parties taken out because it might offend other cultures (Like what Jessie Tinydancer mentions).

America's a Christian country? The Treaty of Tripoli would state otherwise. Majority of the founding fathers were Deist's or other non-Christian followers. It's true that America looks to be founded on the general principles of Christianity, but those 'general principals' are so vague they could be shared with other religions as well. I wouldn't say America is a Christian country...it sounds so closed minded (and this is coming from a fellow Christian - myself).

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 07:36 PM
America's a Christian country? The Treaty of Tripoli would state otherwise. Majority of the founding fathers were Deist's or other non-Christian followers. It's true that America looks to be founded on the general principles of Christianity, but those 'general principals' are so vague they could be shared with other religions as well. I wouldn't say America is a Christian country...it sounds so closed minded (and this is coming from a fellow Christian - myself).

But it's not a Muslim or atheist country is my point. I don't care that one practices another religion (or no religion) I just don't want their views overriding mine.

Elvia
10-13-2010, 07:45 PM
^^^ Well, that's kind of what would happen to me if you were to insist on having a "Christmas" party at a public school where my Jewish children might attend. It puts me in a rather awkward position of either allowing my children to be forced into participating in a Christian practice or having to segregate them.

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 08:07 PM
Well then they don't have to participate but why take it away from the other kids? It's not fair to deny kids this.

DesuvsDeath
10-13-2010, 08:09 PM
^^^ Well, that's kind of what would happen to me if you were to insist on having a "Christmas" party at a public school where my Jewish children might attend. It puts me in a rather awkward position of either allowing my children to be forced into participating in a Christian practice or having to segregate them.
I've always been curious about that... it's still considered your children participating in another religion's practices? I mean... "Christmas" parties at school (at least when I was a kid) don't actually involve any relgious practices and most of were labeled "Holiday" parties and were more cookies, punch and 'paper cut out snowflakes' than Santa or x-mas...

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 08:11 PM
I'm fine with it being called a holiday party and doing things like lighting the menorah or santa claus. It doesn't have to be religious but people (mostly atheists I've seen) want to take this away from kids.

Kylea2
10-13-2010, 08:11 PM
I would mostly agree with 4everresolutions. Part of the reason so many people originally wanted to come to the US was the freedom to practice other religions, that is part of the basis of our foundation. Live & let live.

_Avery_
10-13-2010, 08:15 PM
Well then they don't have to participate but why take it away from the other kids? It's not fair to deny kids this.

I remember in 4th grade, we didn't have a Christmas party because our teacher was Jewish. It sucked when all the other classes were celebrating having a good time. :(

I'm not religious AT. ALL!, but it's still fun to celebrate holidays.
I agree that it's not fair to take it entirely away just because one person may not agree.

It's like Sex Ed, you now have to get parental permission to participate.
Because some parents want to teach their kids "their way"...
I dunno, I guess if you didn't want your kids to attend a Christmas party at school, just have them stay home that day. It's not like the parties were all religious. It was fun. Cookies, coloring, music. Just good times.

aww...I really miss being a kid lol.

4everresolutions
10-13-2010, 08:22 PM
I had a girlfriend who was Jehovah Witness - she always had to miss out on the parties. She couldn't even play the Christmas music in band. It made me so sad, I remembering wishing we wouldn't have holiday parties at all.... Oh the mind of a Child

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 08:23 PM
I remember in 4th grade, we didn't have a Christmas party because our teacher was Jewish. It sucked when all the other classes were celebrating having a good time. :(

I'm not religious AT. ALL!, but it's still fun to celebrate holidays.
I agree that it's not fair to take it entirely away just because one person may not agree.

It's like Sex Ed, you now have to get parental permission to participate.
Because some parents want to teach their kids "their way"...
I dunno, I guess if you didn't want your kids to attend a Christmas party at school, just have them stay home that day. It's not like the parties were all religious. It was fun. Cookies, coloring, music. Just good times.

aww...I really miss being a kid lol.

This is what I mean. I have no problem with a party being secular (and at a public school I don't want it religious). It's just that too many schools remove them so not to offend other groups (and the other groups are rarely Jewish). I've heard that about sex ed as well and to me that should be taught but parents should be allowed to let their kids go or not (btw I would let my kids go to sex ed).

rubyredlipsss
10-13-2010, 08:24 PM
me too. i felt so bad that she didn't get presents on her birthday. birthdays are my personal favorite. maybe cause it involves only me getting presents.

rubyredlipsss
10-13-2010, 08:33 PM
This is what I mean. I have no problem with a party being secular (and at a public school I don't want it religious). It's just that too many schools remove them so not to offend other groups (and the other groups are rarely Jewish). I've heard that about sex ed as well and to me that should be taught but parents should be allowed to let their kids go or not (btw I would let my kids go to sex ed).

we would have 'winter break' parties to be inclusive of groups. i don't see what's wrong with teaching children about other religions and traditions. i know i learned about them and we still had a party. also, i remember sex ed in 8th grade and the teacher only taught abstinence as a means for protection. it was very obvious to me (i was decidedly agnostic by then) that she was trying to instill her 'values' and own beliefs on students.

my point is, is there really anything that seriously wrong with calling it a 'holiday party'

eta: jesus christ this thread has had a massive-derailing. sorry.

Kellydancer
10-13-2010, 08:37 PM
we would have 'winter break' parties to be inclusive of groups. i don't see what's wrong with teaching children about other religions and traditions. i know i learned about them and we still had a party. also, i remember sex ed in 8th grade and the teacher only taught abstinence as a means for protection. it was very obvious to me (i was decidedly agnostic by then) that she was trying to instill her 'values' and own beliefs on students.

my point is, is there really anything that seriously wrong with calling it a 'holiday party'

eta: jesus christ this thread has had a massive-derailing. sorry.

I find nothing wrong with calling it winter parties and teaching about other religions. In grade school I had a few Hindus and many Jewish kids in my classes and they taught us about their cultures. I do have a problem with only abstinence being taught in sex ed. I support birth control being taught, along with the consequences of everything.

firemaiden04
10-13-2010, 09:09 PM
I think the major problem is that while a lot of people bitch and complain about schools removing anything that isn't totally secular, it's very one-sided. Christian holidays are okay, but I fucking guarantee you that if most schools started having parties and celebrating Muslim holidays, the parents would FREAK.

princessjas
10-14-2010, 01:04 AM
Im not American nor have I ever lived in America but I am Canadian/Australian and both places also heavily rely and have relied in the past on immigration. True there might not be obvious culture norms like say in some very old european countries or asian cultures, but to call your own country (you live there right) a hot dog and hamburger culture is very weird to me. I certainly dont see my adopted country Australia as a beach bum society full of ex criminals.

From an outsiders perspective I believe America represents the free world. A place where men and women are equal and where anyone can make it. A place where you can live your life the way you want and speak freely and be who you want to be. I believe it population wise to be a heavily Christian society (thinking bible belt here) or at least built on Christian values. It has the largest Media and Entertainment industry and I note that the media has a heavy Jewish influence. I see it as a culture that is confident and cut throat and a powerhouse in the world and you can see this attitude in Americans overseas.

Are there negative implications to this culture too? Sure. Honestly Im guilty of thinking "stupid americans" too. But thats mainly because it is so gigantic that you cant possible operate without some shit in there especially with so many cultures trying to mix.

Living in Canada and Australia are very much the same. Sure we might not have some special dish besides maple syrup (canada) or prawns on the barbie (Aus), or a special cultural attire or a certain bizarre cultural norm, but that doesnt mean there isnt a culture. I see the culture here being breached everyday and I grew up being taught to accept all cultures. Now every day I become less and less accepting when I see people who dont speak english, people walking around in full burkas (sp?), and when shit goes down like in my elementary school when we could no longer have a Christmas concert or sing Oh holy night because we might offend other cultures? WTF? Last time I checked we were still part of the Commonwealth and came from England. From the Christian queen. I have no problem with other beliefs but when you are in my house you operate under my rules. I have assimilated to Australia. I speak the way they speak and I behave the way they behave. Have I lost my Canadian? No but when Im in a group of Australians I will follow their norms out of respect to them. Im in their home.
This points out what pisses me off the best. The US isn't fucking 20 yrs old now, get the fuck over it and move on.

jennybean
10-14-2010, 01:42 AM
I am so annoyed right now. Maybe I am old fashioned or raised to expect to be spoiled but I hate paying my half of the rent. I live with my BF and we agreed to split the rent when we signed the lease but it just feels so wrong. Should't the man want to take care of his woman? Am I being ridiculous

? IS this normal?

I used to pay half the rent too and I did feel a bit like you for a while but got used to it. He used to pay for a lot of other things as well

Jessie_tinydancer
10-14-2010, 02:08 AM
America's a Christian country? The Treaty of Tripoli would state otherwise. Majority of the founding fathers were Deist's or other non-Christian followers. It's true that America looks to be founded on the general principles of Christianity, but those 'general principals' are so vague they could be shared with other religions as well. I wouldn't say America is a Christian country...it sounds so closed minded (and this is coming from a fellow Christian - myself).

76% of Americans identify themselves as being Christian.

princessjas
10-14-2010, 04:34 AM
76% of Americans identify themselves as being Christian.

People who want to pretend that we have no culture 200 yrs later will not be convinced I've discovered. No point in further arguement. ;)

KaylaM
10-14-2010, 04:53 AM
76% of Americans identify themselves as being Christian.

THIS IS SO TRUE!

On American culture, Reading other forums it is clear that America doesn't have a standard culture. So this culture I keep hearing about ... HMMMMMM

princessjas
10-14-2010, 06:56 AM
THIS IS SO TRUE!

On American culture, Reading other forums it is clear that America doesn't have a standard culture. So this culture I keep hearing about ... HMMMMMM

Ok, considering I lived with, loved, and was surrounded by those from other countries for years I'll enlighten you. Even my ex wasn't dumb enough to pretend that we didn't have a culture though, so I doubt this will sink in.

American culture = We work to much, we laugh at ourselves freely, our women have the same rights and privledges as our men (at least in theory).

This varies from area to area, on the West Coast they tend to be very liberal and more fun loving than us East Coasters, it's also common for them to be more in shape and active.

North Easterners are typically very loud and in your face and extremely outspoken, I can't tell you how many times I saw someone pulled over screaming at the policeman!! They also tend to have no real sense of personal space.....like I was at the grocery store at 2am and this woman was standing so close to me she was actually touching me!! No one else was in line either, they are just this used to being all squashed up.

Down south....this is like a whole different country. You are lucky to live in a diverse area like Charlotte. Most places, people are very prejudiced, which disgusts me. My neighbor actually ask for cooking lessons, then when I showed up that morning she informed me that she was above that cause she had a N-word to do that for her. I wanted to punch her in the face. Southern culture also involves the woman doing all the housework and cooking (something I was taught and have a hard time deviating from), being much more friendly than average....it is actually mentioned in our nursing book that southern and specifically Appalacian people require more personal interaction.


I also find that our basic fun-loving attitdue combined with a less serious demeanour causes some other cultures to cartoonize us....at least this is what my ex Nabil seemed to think, but I didn't give a fuck, since I worked 60 hrs a week and he and his friends expected to fuck off and work less than 10 and still earn respect??? Yeah, there is a damn reason you lived in a mud hut before, you won't fucking work.

firemaiden04
10-14-2010, 07:58 AM
I don't think America has a culture as a whole...as you pointed out, culture differs drastically depending on the area you live in. Geographically, we're simply too big to be completely unified when it comes to something like culture.

Originally, America truly was a melting pot. From the original settlers, which included the English, the French, and the Spanish, and in the cases of the French and Spanish, intermarrying with the local existing tribes. This resulted in a rich and full original culture. The English, however, had zero interest in assimilating or converting the native culture; they wanted the land, and they wanted the natives gone. I feel that this attitude has carried over through the years. At the turn of the century, when the immigrants were coming in, Americans treated them like shit. Now those cultures have (sort of) assimilated into American culture--and now, a century later, the exact same thing is happening--Americans are freaking out because MORE immigrants are coming here. I don't get it. People are supposed to be all sorts of patriotic; shouldn't we be proud that so many cultures want to be a part of this country?

But I digress. I think it's truly unfortunate that America doesn't have a unified culture. I think if you asked other nations what defines Americans, they would say that we're spoiled, arrogant, ignorant, and all about immediate gratification. Unfortunately, that is very very true when it comes to a lot of Americans. Not all of us are like that; but that's what people think of us. Having lived in the Bible Belt, I know that down there, people are ignorant, close-minded, and judgmental, though they'll put on a good face in front of you. Women are ALWAYS supposed to be dressed up, with hair done and full makeup, even just to run to the post office or the bank. In upstate New York, people tend to be loud, brash, rude, crude, aggressive, and confrontational. Nobody seems to care about their appearance, unless it's a weekend night at a club. Adjusting to the lack of basic manners and common courtesy up here has been a continuing struggle for me; I just think being rude for no reason is unexcusable.

So, yeah. I really believe there isn't a unified defining culture in this country.

KaylaM
10-14-2010, 08:22 AM
Interesting... :)


American culture = We work to much, we laugh at ourselves freely, our women have the same rights and privileges as our men (at least in theory).

(I had to correct your error..sorry)

Only in America huh? You might want to check out other countries babe. You will be shocked and amazed. America is all hype. There are OTHER countries that are much more free than America .. you just dont hear about them because America has convinced themselves that they re the best.

America does not have it's own culture sweetie.


This varies from area to area, on the West Coast they tend to be very liberal and more fun loving than us East Coasters, it's also common for them to be more in shape and active.

Right...


North Easterners are typically very loud and in your face and extremely outspoken, I can't tell you how many times I saw someone pulled over screaming at the policeman!! They also tend to have no real sense of personal space.....like I was at the grocery store at 2am and this woman was standing so close to me she was actually touching me!! No one else was in line either, they are just this used to being all squashed up.

True.


Down south....this is like a whole different country. You are lucky to live in a diverse area like Charlotte. Most places, people are very prejudiced, which disgusts me. My neighbor actually ask for cooking lessons, then when I showed up that morning she informed me that she was above that cause she had a N-word to do that for her. I wanted to punch her in the face. Southern culture also involves the woman doing all the housework and cooking (something I was taught and have a hard time deviating from), being much more friendly than average....it is actually mentioned in our nursing book that southern and specifically Appalacian people require more personal interaction.

Ha! Those same racists are the same racists that pay $500 an hour to sleep with me. I also dO. not. have a problem with the N word. It does not move me. You can call me a Nigger all day I wouldnt give a damn. I came to america in 96..I didnt come here on a slave ship. My father came here to get his airline licensed to fly in the states and so we can have an education. I laugh when black Americans get all worked up over the N word its so fucking stupid to me but tell them they came from africa and its "Oh hell nah I aint been thurr. I ain't ever been to africa." Ugh!! So urking and super ignorant!

I lived in Greenville SC for 8 years and never experienced racism. I actually started experiencing racism when I moved to Charlotte. I have also went on business trips, dinners, fucked well known racists... as long as they were paying me I didn't give a damn. People take the racist thing too seriously. We have a black president now. Being racist is played out! Guess what.. those hardcore racist men you know or hear about? They really dream of being with an ebony goddess at night. I'm just banking off of it!

:wave: got a hot date!

KaylaM
10-14-2010, 08:24 AM
The United States should really be the Divided States. It isn't so "United".. Just saying!

Nuclear Martini
10-14-2010, 08:55 AM
To me it is so unbelievable that 76% of Americans are Christian. I live in Miami, where it seems most Christians are non-praciticing and there is a large and thriving Jewish community.

I have also lived in Boston, where I would have guessed that it was about 50% Christian with a large number of Jewish people (again, a large Jewish Communityy) and also many atheists (which seems to happen in places where people are the most educated).

I guess in the cities I have lived in, yes there are many Christians but they don't practice anything besides Christmas, and many of them don't live the typical "good Christian" lifestyle.

It seems the most religious people I have lived around are the Jewish people who actually practice their religion.

I also wanted to add there are many Americans who will say their beliefs are "I don't know what I believe but I believe in some kind of God" and this has shown to be a perdominantly American phenomenom. It is almost like the person who feels this was is an Atheist but is full of guilt for being that way subconciously.