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rickdugan
10-02-2010, 11:51 AM
I recently had reason to think back a bit on the edgier OTC and more limited ITC activities that I have engaged in with dancers over the years. In doing so I realized that the vast majority of these activities have occurred with single mothers.

Now some of these clubs have a lot of dancers that are also single mothers, so the laws of probability certainly play a role. But IME single mothers have always been much more open to these types of things than other girls. Now either I am simply irresistible to some single mothers ::) OR, and obviously much more likely, this is a function of the increased pressures they are under to bring home cash.

Now as both a monger and father to young children, I have very mixed feelings about this. The monger in me is always glad to find out that his OTC target is a single mother, but the father in me is somewhat saddened to know that mommy, rather than reading her kids bedtime stories and tucking them in, has to be out at night doing things like this with me to provide for them.

I have nothing but respect for a woman who does whatever she needs to do to earn a better life for her children, but thinking about it does make me pause from time to time - though certainly not stop, lol.

FBR
10-02-2010, 12:15 PM
I have nothing but respect for a woman who does whatever she needs to do to earn a better life for her children I prefer not to know, at least with random strippers I interact with. I don't want mental images of her kids as she is grinding me.

FBR

rickdugan
10-02-2010, 04:03 PM
I prefer not to know, at least with random strippers I interact with. I don't want mental images of her kids as she is grinding me.

FBR

I can understand that sentiment.

In my experiences it usually seems to come up in the "get to know you" chat before dances, etc., are offered. Despite the theories held by some pinks on the topic of personal questions (as covered in one of the pink threads), IME well over half of dancers ask the married/kids questions very soon into the intro. chat, at which point the natural response is "and you?" And if not there, in the first few minutes of exchanging tidbits it almost always seems to come out.

Funny though, I remember their faces and whether they had kids, but not their names. :O

But there it is fwiw.

Chili Palmer
10-02-2010, 04:46 PM
Here's the thing, Rick.

Yeah, the probabilities are that most of the strippers you see are single moms. Where I have a problem with OTC activity (or inside HM activity, for that matter), is the whole "It's the end of the month, she needs to pay rent" attitude so many PLs have and try to take advantage of. Those playing that card is where the guilt should lie.

For me personally, as much as I have mongered over the years, I've never once succumbed to this strategy. Everything inside a club I've done has been at the dancer's initiative--everything. When I shoot for OTC activities, frankly I've always tried to avoid the more desperate and obvious choices, which is probably one of the reasons I so rarely have any drama or issues, either.

Because I always treat my partners (paid and unpaid) respectfully, it's fairly easy for me to rationalize why she doing it with me, and any guilt I may feel is assuaged by the knowledge I'm helping her with the bills and (hopefully) she's having as much fun as I. Like I said, it's how I rationalize it, at least.

CP

safado
10-02-2010, 05:33 PM
Is it possible that single mothers are more desperate or maybe they are hot to trot?

Seriously, it is not something that I consider as the women I have done ITC and OTC with were the ones who initiated the activity. I have never felt guilt over any of my p4p activities, but I have felt guilty a few times for lying to women to get sex in non p4p situations.

Also how can you be sure that they are really single?

yoda57us
10-02-2010, 06:24 PM
I've been with a few ladies, both dancers and escorts, who were single moms. I never really thought too much about it since the sex industry attracts a lot of single moms. The money and the scheduling flexibility are tough to beat if you have to juggle income, maybe school, and single-parenthood.

I don't really see it as an advantage or a disadvantage. it's not an attraction or a drawback for me.

bigmarv
10-02-2010, 06:36 PM
I have always been a customer who has supported single mom's one dollar at a time ITC while dancing on stage and most likely supporting them $20 at a time in VIP. For me OTC play can get emotional so I tend to avoid those encounters and keep our fun ITC. :)

lopaw
10-02-2010, 08:43 PM
I have also been involved with several single moms OTC over the past few years. Like FBR, I'd rather not know about it, but many dancers are very quick to share that aspect of their life with me, since I'm also a woman. I find that when I know that she is hurting for money, I'll usually spend alot of money on her kids (yes, I have actually met a few of the little tykes) and my approach to our OTC encounters takes on a different aspect. Problem there is that the mom can misinterpret the occasional OTC's into something much more, and then it gets very awkward to end things when the "relationship" has (at least in in my eyes) run it's course.

There are a couple of mom's (& their youngun's) that I still take to Disneyland or to a theme park a couple times a year, even though we no longer meet up OTC. I wouldn't change that for anything. And I don't even LIKE kids.

mortalman
10-02-2010, 10:38 PM
I prefer not to know, at least with random strippers I interact with. I don't want mental images of her kids as she is grinding me.


Uhmmmm, which reminds me of a story...

So I got a few dances from this girl...
We're sitting there enjoying the afterglow...

She tells me how she is missing her little boy...
(I'm thinking they're separated by the daddy, child services, something like that...)


Then she tells me how her 6 month old baby just died recently :O
and she just picked up the urn with the ashes that very morning :(

I would have preferred to go my entire life without ever hearing a story like that ... especially inside a strip club lap dance room.

hockeybobby
10-03-2010, 08:52 AM
Y'all shoplifted the pootie. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW95YIpC6Rw)

:D

rickdugan
10-03-2010, 01:19 PM
Here's the thing, Rick.

Yeah, the probabilities are that most of the strippers you see are single moms. Where I have a problem with OTC activity (or inside HM activity, for that matter), is the whole "It's the end of the month, she needs to pay rent" attitude so many PLs have and try to take advantage of. Those playing that card is where the guilt should lie.

For me personally, as much as I have mongered over the years, I've never once succumbed to this strategy. Everything inside a club I've done has been at the dancer's initiative--everything. When I shoot for OTC activities, frankly I've always tried to avoid the more desperate and obvious choices, which is probably one of the reasons I so rarely have any drama or issues, either.

Because I always treat my partners (paid and unpaid) respectfully, it's fairly easy for me to rationalize why she doing it with me, and any guilt I may feel is assuaged by the knowledge I'm helping her with the bills and (hopefully) she's having as much fun as I. Like I said, it's how I rationalize it, at least.

CP

CP, excellent post IMHO and I agree with most of what you said.

The only place where I deviate a bit is that I don't always wait for the dancer to initiate OTC discussions. And I will also admit that, when I go through my filtering processes in order to determine whether I am even going to make the attempt, single motherhood and marital status both factor heavily into the equation. Now I most certainly have done things over the years with women who were not single mothers, but I am more likely to wait for much clearer signals when they are single without children or married (with or without children).

I think that we can all agree that treating a partner with dignity and respect is, or should be, the norm. For me, I'm not sure that I feel guilty about this as much as saddened by it to an extent, though of course certainly not enough to abstain - lol.

FBR
10-03-2010, 04:06 PM
my only encounter with a single mom was my indy atf. i allowed myself to get sucked into the drama and wound up renting her an appt after she left her husband. really dumb on my part. after i escaped from that situation it was dont ask dont tell. my current fav (such as the situation is) has no little ones.''FBR

JoeUnCool
10-13-2010, 10:44 AM
I recently had reason to think back a bit on the edgier OTC and more limited ITC activities that I have engaged in with dancers over the years. In doing so I realized that the vast majority of these activities have occurred with single mothers.

Now some of these clubs have a lot of dancers that are also single mothers, so the laws of probability certainly play a role. But IME single mothers have always been much more open to these types of things than other girls. Now either I am simply irresistible to some single mothers ::) OR, and obviously much more likely, this is a function of the increased pressures they are under to bring home cash.

Now as both a monger and father to young children, I have very mixed feelings about this. The monger in me is always glad to find out that his OTC target is a single mother, but the father in me is somewhat saddened to know that mommy, rather than reading her kids bedtime stories and tucking them in, has to be out at night doing things like this with me to provide for them.

I have nothing but respect for a woman who does whatever she needs to do to earn a better life for her children, but thinking about it does make me pause from time to time - though certainly not stop, lol.

I had to think this thru several times to understand the numbers. 4 girls out of 11 that I have known were "working girls." of the 4, one was a mother at the time. Of the 7 others, 5 were mothers, not sure about the single part. I'm not into all of these, so I can't speak one way or the other as to how it would effect me.

jester214
10-13-2010, 09:55 PM
I prefer not to know, at least with random strippers I interact with. I don't want mental images of her kids as she is grinding me.

FBR

I'm with this.

I don't want to know how many children you have, or how old they are, etc. Especially as you dance naked in my lap. But that's just me...

Kids are not a topic I bring up.

JoeUnCool
10-14-2010, 05:59 AM
I'm with this.

I don't want to know how many children you have, or how old they are, etc. Especially as you dance naked in my lap. But that's just me...

Kids are not a topic I bring up.

Yeah, same here. I don't want to know. Unfortunately, the girls always tell me. I might not hear it immediately, but I eventually here it. What's scary is when they pull the pictures out of their little dancer wallet and start showing them to you. Me:"Excuse me, while I am glad that you are proud of your child, the pictures just deflated my woody."

Vyanka
10-24-2010, 11:06 PM
Yeah, same here. I don't want to know. Unfortunately, the girls always tell me. I might not hear it immediately, but I eventually here it. What's scary is when they pull the pictures out of their little dancer wallet and start showing them to you. Me:"Excuse me, while I am glad that you are proud of your child, the pictures just deflated my woody."

Wtf. /:O I can't believe girls actually show strangers pics of their children.

Athenathefabulous
10-24-2010, 11:19 PM
Wtf. /:O I can't believe girls actually show strangers pics of their children.

probably for the same reason some beggars have a child or a dog with them.

the pictures might not even be their kids. it might all help with the pity hustle.

Vyanka
10-24-2010, 11:26 PM
probably for the same reason some beggars have a child or a dog with them.

the pictures might not even be their kids. it might all help with the pity hustle.

I'm just picturing it..."Hi wanna dance?" *strips* "Here is my child". Yeah, none cares & that was really sexy.

But most guys assume we all have kids anyway. A lot of customers ask me if I have children. I'm gonna start saying yes, see how that works. LOL.

Kellydancer
10-24-2010, 11:32 PM
I'm just picturing it..."Hi wanna dance?" *strips* "Here is my child". Yeah, none cares & that was really sexy.

But most guys assume we all have kids anyway. A lot of customers ask me if I have children. I'm gonna start saying yes, see how that works. LOL.

I used to carry a photo of children in my wallet so some guys would give me more money. I have no kids but some guys have this mother fetish.

rickdugan
10-25-2010, 03:05 AM
Wtf. /:O I can't believe girls actually show strangers pics of their children.

This happens a lot, though often the pics are stored on girls' cell phones. A customer in his late thirties and up is likely a father, so from a "get to know you" perspective the kids chat is a good ice breaker.

KS_Stevia
10-26-2010, 04:44 PM
A lot of custies have shown me photos of their kids in their wallet or cell phones. Interest is feigned like with everything else.

sadbuttrue
10-26-2010, 07:48 PM
I've never used this as a tool to decide on which girls to pursue, although I've usually cared more if they were single mothers.

For both long-running favorites, I knew and saw the kids.

For the ATF, I knew her boy since he was about ten. He came over to my house for Christmas once, and I saw him from time to time over the years.

For the other fave, we often bumped into each other at Walmart and she had said kids she mentioned ITC before with her. I never really initiated real OTC with her, nor could or would I. I sometimes included in Toys R Us gift cards at Christmas for them. Something different than the usual wad of cash.

I think though, with the above one, that sometimes interruptions in dance sets, to get a phone call was not always from the babysitter, mom or her dancer-partner taking care of the kids. I.e. the fact that I knew about them could be used as an tool/excuse by her.

Sad

Kellydancer
11-14-2010, 02:54 PM
I have to admit most of the dancers I've known who were open to OTC were single moms. There's many reasons. One is the dancer needs more money to support other people (her kids) or in a few cases they actually hate men so they are more open to sleeping with them for money (I'm not sure why this one is so, just something I've seen). But then again depending on the club, there's likely to be more single moms than childless. Like mentioned above this is an industry that is more flexible for a single mom than many others, especially if dad still isn't around.

FBR
11-14-2010, 06:14 PM
Thinking back all my favs were moms except for Miss B and Miss D. I will always remember the encounter with Miss B }:D (she was very tight if you get my drift) and at the same time lament the demise of my situation with Miss D. No complaints though...I gave her thousands of dollars and I received a pretty good ROI during that time. Even Steven in my book. Not sure she would agree but considering I control the purse strings I trump.

FBR

rickdugan
11-16-2010, 05:45 PM
My current local fav, Sexy Italian, is also a single mother. The other night I ended up at her house after hours. As most here know, mine is primarily a road game and though I do tend to target single mothers, I never actually have to see how they live as my activities normally take place in hotel rooms.

I can sum up the experience in one word: depressing. Don't get me wrong, the sex was great, but everything else about the experience was a bit seedy. She lived in a decent house, but clearly did not have the money to furnish it. Her daughter's room was ok, in a trailer park over-done pink sort of way, but the place was empty otherwise. We had our sex on an air mattress, which is what this girl sleeps on.

Seeing how she lived really put a damper on the whole thing somehow and I enjoyed it more when it was an illicit car or hotel adventure.

Mr Hyde
11-17-2010, 10:05 AM
probably for the same reason some beggars have a child or a dog with them.

the pictures might not even be their kids. it might all help with the pity hustle.

Total woodkill. When a stripper brings up her kids with me, I'm done with her. Not that I don't have a soft spot for kids...I just don't want to hear about it in the midst of her preparing to mash her tits in my face.

Casual Observer
11-17-2010, 01:14 PM
^ See, that doesn't faze me; MILFs need cock too, dude.

jester214
11-17-2010, 01:38 PM
^Sure, but that in no way means I need to hear how Little Johnny did at school the other day or how Susie has become so horrible since she turned 12.

Those are not what I want to hear about while being danced on by a naked woman.

safado
11-17-2010, 06:15 PM
My current local fav, Sexy Italian, is also a single mother. The other night I ended up at her house after hours. As most here know, mine is primarily a road game and though I do tend to target single mothers, I never actually have to see how they live as my activities normally take place in hotel rooms.

I can sum up the experience in one word: depressing. Don't get me wrong, the sex was great, but everything else about the experience was a bit seedy. She lived in a decent house, but clearly did not have the money to furnish it. Her daughter's room was ok, in a trailer park over-done pink sort of way, but the place was empty otherwise. We had our sex on an air mattress, which is what this girl sleeps on.

Seeing how she lived really put a damper on the whole thing somehow and I enjoyed it more when it was an illicit car or hotel adventure.

Are you sure that she really lives there and it is not just her "ho pad"?

A favorite from a few years ago had a place that she used for OTC with barely any furniture. She claimed that she owned the house and rented out the first floor apartment, and used 2nd floor to "entertain her friends". A few times after our sessions I gave her a ride to another house where she said that she lived.

rickdugan
11-17-2010, 06:30 PM
^No, there were boxes, personal momentos, her kid's things, etc. She clearly lived there. Also, she really just dabbles in p4p, so I don't see her setting up a "ho pad."

It took me several months to get her to cross the line, and she only did so when it looked like I was going to pull my $$$ from her and the club.

KS_Stevia
11-17-2010, 06:37 PM
Rut-roh, its REALITY!

But perhaps she is just in transition? When I was dancing I lived in a very tiny guesthouse because I was saving money and travelled frequently. It might have looked depressing but it was inexpensive, easy to maintain, and didn't have a long-term lease.

Or perhaps she is just typical stripper who can't save her money because the allure of spending all the cash in your pocket is just too easy.

rickdugan
11-17-2010, 06:55 PM
Rut-roh, its REALITY!

But perhaps she is just in transition? When I was dancing I lived in a very tiny guesthouse because I was saving money and travelled frequently. It might have looked depressing but it was inexpensive, easy to maintain, and didn't have a long-term lease.

Or perhaps she is just typical stripper who can't save her money because the allure of spending all the cash in your pocket is just too easy.

LOL. I've always brought these girls into MY reality (in other words, to a very nice hotel), so I've never been confronted with their situations beyond what they have told me. Seeing it in full living color, however, was something special. :O

Times have been very tough in her club lately, which I suspect is part of the issue. She also recently moved out from a house owned by her former boyfriend, so transition issues are certainly in play.

This also reminds me of an OTC story from about a year ago. I took a girl out of a club in Baltimore and back to my very nice hotel. As she was walking through the lobby, she said to me "I feel like that girl in the movie Pretty Woman." Now of course I resisted the urge to tell her that she was no Julia Roberts, but there it is. :P

Mr Hyde
11-17-2010, 09:54 PM
^ See, that doesn't faze me; MILFs need cock too, dude.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against MILFs. A chick is a chick, no doubt. I just don't want her showing me pics of her kids while I'm in the middle of getting a bump and grind. That kills the mood. It moves it from rated R to PG-13.

JoeUnCool
11-18-2010, 08:40 PM
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against MILFs. A chick is a chick, no doubt. I just don't want her showing me pics of her kids while I'm in the middle of getting a bump and grind. That kills the mood. It moves it from rated R to PG-13.

Nothing puts the fire in the wood out quicker............

OmarJones
11-29-2010, 05:54 AM
Been there and done that with seeing girls in their home it can be depressing if they aren't living as well as u expected.

JoeUnCool
11-29-2010, 12:29 PM
Wtf. /:O I can't believe girls actually show strangers pics of their children.

Yeah, they always tell me too much. Unfortunately, I had a lot of game in my younger days. It still will inadvertently show thru. The result is too many girls will think I am interested in them when I am not. Girls will show me pics of the kids, their real name, where they live, their love life, and just too much personal info. Now, this could be game on their part, but given the amount of time spent with me vs. The amount of money I spent(not much), I really wonder. Btw, it's not an isolated occurrence. It doesn't happen every time, but it's way too common for my taste.

Less info about your kids, more boobies and lap dancing. :)

AmyLynne
11-29-2010, 04:17 PM
so all this time I could have got you to pay my rent? I took too long to get back on! LOL



my only encounter with a single mom was my indy atf. i allowed myself to get sucked into the drama and wound up renting her an appt after she left her husband. really dumb on my part. after i escaped from that situation it was dont ask dont tell. my current fav (such as the situation is) has no little ones.''FBR

FBR
11-29-2010, 08:36 PM
so all this time I could have got you to pay my rent? I took too long to get back on! LOLLOL Well, a couple of problems. Of course the distance from your far away states to Ohio plus you just don't seem like the kind of gal who would take advantage of old FBR. You have a kind face. I mean, I have long ago forgotten what is what your hot website pics secreted to me notwithstanding -;

FBR

JoeUnCool
11-29-2010, 08:57 PM
......you just don't seem like the kind of gal who would take advantage of old FBR. You have a kind face. I mean, I have long ago forgotten what is what your hot website pics secreted to me notwithstanding -;
FBR

And just think, there is someone out there that will think you are serious when you say that.