View Full Version : would you ever lie about birth control?
tempest666
11-15-2010, 02:41 AM
^THIS A million times.
Just because you desperately want something, doesn't make it okay to lie or violate someone in this way.
And the "he'd never find out thing" just makes me sick. By that line of thinking, it should be fine to rape a girl who is unconscious or drugged, as long as she doesn't "find out".
I can't find the thank function....Lying about this shit pisses me off, fucking psychopathic bitches.
pussyinboots
11-15-2010, 09:45 AM
Going back to the OP - the whole point is that a woman who lies about birth control is being thoroughly selfish and irresponsible. The people who suffer most - are the guy she's lied to - and the baby.
OJenni!
11-15-2010, 11:11 AM
lying about birth control is stupid, but not a women only problem. While it looks like the majority of people that do it are women, I can bet you it is solely because of the wide array of options we have (in terms of birth control) and the fact that this responsibility almost solely is put in the lap of women.
I can bet you if the situation was reversed (and men were the ones seen as the ones having to take bc) we would see the same thing-many men lying about birth control.
The only options men really have are sterilization and condoms. We women have pills, female condoms, jellies, dyes, shots, implantables, IUDs, etc. IMO too much control is put in the women's hands. We need to start teaching our boys that they too can control their reproductive life. They need to wear condoms even if they are "going steady" with a girl if they don't want to have babies. Yes, even if the girl they are going steady with is purportedly taking the pill.
We will always have this problem until we realize, as all sexually active adults, that birth control is 50% a man's responsibility and 50% a woman's responsibility.
Kellydancer
11-15-2010, 11:59 AM
^THIS A million times.
Just because you desperately want something, doesn't make it okay to lie or violate someone in this way.
And the "he'd never find out thing" just makes me sick. By that line of thinking, it should be fine to rape a girl who is unconscious or drugged, as long as she doesn't "find out".
To be fair, I think Kthnx was being hypothetical (at least I hope so). I think it was just a question. Now if a woman really is planning to do that, that would be horrendous and yes equated to rape, especially with a drug.
Sadly however I've seen people (men and women) trick other people into babies because they just wanted one. It's part of our culture now where if you want something you can get it, even if it means hurting someone else. Even though I'd like to eventually have children I would never trap a man. It would have to be where we both wanted children, were financially secure (which I am not now with this economy) and were married (or were going to be). Otherwise I don't "need" to be a parent.
tempest666
11-15-2010, 12:18 PM
I really really wanna punch bitches that think they can keep a man by pulling this shit. This shit makes my blood boil.
tempest666
11-15-2010, 12:19 PM
why would anyone want to be with a man that no longer wants them? A man who stays out of obligation is just going to stray later anyhow. Ask my father -_-
Kellydancer
11-15-2010, 12:28 PM
why would anyone want to be with a man that no longer wants them? A man who stays out of obligation is just going to stray later anyhow. Ask my father -_-
Bcause women think the man will stay. I've seen men think the same thing so it's not just women. Personally I would think the worst thing to do would be having kids during a breakup. I knew a woman years ago who had a cheating husband. She thought if they had a kid he'd be faithful. He of course still wasn't.
pussyinboots
11-15-2010, 12:53 PM
lying about birth control is stupid, but not a women only problem. While it looks like the majority of people that do it are women, I can bet you it is solely because of the wide array of options we have (in terms of birth control) and the fact that this responsibility almost solely is put in the lap of women.
I can bet you if the situation was reversed (and men were the ones seen as the ones having to take bc) we would see the same thing-many men lying about birth control.
The only options men really have are sterilization and condoms. We women have pills, female condoms, jellies, dyes, shots, implantables, IUDs, etc. IMO too much control is put in the women's hands. We need to start teaching our boys that they too can control their reproductive life. They need to wear condoms even if they are "going steady" with a girl if they don't want to have babies. Yes, even if the girl they are going steady with is purportedly taking the pill.
We will always have this problem until we realize, as all sexually active adults, that birth control is 50% a man's responsibility and 50% a woman's responsibility.
I really could not agree with you more.
Sadly though, this situation will remain for as long as so called 'enlightened society' still only plays lip-service to sexual equality and ridding itself of sexist stereotyping......and continues to give credence to the idiotic notion that the man provides and the woman simply 'keeps home' and raises the children.
In fact, mankind may still be discussing this subject, when the end of the world as we know it arrives.
Laurisa
11-15-2010, 08:57 PM
You know, without stepping on too many toes I will say this.
I got pregnant because I knowingly stopped taking my birth control pills for four days. I wanted to get pregnant, and didn't tell my SO, but then I got scared so I started up the BC where I left off and thought nothing of it. Sure enough, I got pregnant, our son turned 9 months old on November 11th. I didn't do it to get his Dad to stay with me, his Dad loved me very much already. I foolishly wanted a child because I wanted someone to love me forever, but now it's evolved into much more than that--something beautiful and maternal.
His father is a great father. I left him a few months ago on my own accord because of personal issues, nothing to do with his parenting. We decided outside of court to split visitation 50/50, and since he lost his job I'M the person that pays for everything for our son. I agreed that I wanted nothing to do with child support, and that once he was able to get back on his feet that he would help buy things for our son. We remain good friends, and I help him with grocery and gas money for himself when he needs it.
So, although my judgment was wrong at the time--last month (after our separation) my son's father thanked me very sincerely for the decision I made, because our son is a blessing and all is well. I wouldn't change it for the world.
-Laurisa
kthnx
11-22-2010, 03:02 AM
^ yea that's the story of the woman i know.
well think of it this way. guys decieve girls all the time...they lie about not having stds, they lie about being faithful, etc...its not like guys are perfect lil angels.
also, sometimes women lie about BC not becuz they're trying to keep the guy, but simply becuz they want to have a baby and they know they cannot do it any other way. e.g., the woman i know (who's in her late 50s by now) who separated from her husband (becuz he didnt want kids with her) and then moved away to her home country while pregnant. if she was trying to latch onto him she wouldnt have separated and/or moved out of country.
i still say theres worse things u can do. okay people say go to a sperm clinic...first of all, clinics can be EXPENSIVE. you think titty bars nickel-and-dime customers for everything?...ha try a sperm clinic. you gotta pay like $45-65 just to see baby pics of the donor, and no adult pics to tell if the guy is handsome or not. there's fees for everything and they make a PL's experience at a strip club look like a trip to the dollar store. height, weight, eye color, hair color, and ethnic background only tell you so much. becuz sperm clinics do not tell you the person's name or show a recent pic of the guy, who knows if perhaps the donor you're selecting isn't some relative???!!!!...esp since most times, single women want to choose a donor that resembles themselves to increase the likelihood that their baby will resemble them. some clinics do lots of screenings, which can unfortunately weed out some women that have an unfortunate smudge on their background but would otherwise make great mothers. like the sad woman in michigan, who recruited a pig of a woman to serve as a surrogate mother...this woman had been unable to adopt, and later lost custody of the kids (the result of donor egg and donor sperm) to the pig surrogate as a result of a single drug misdemeanor and dui from like 20yrs prior. (she, her husband, and the obnoxious selfish surrogate were on dr phil and the surrogate made my blood boil!!!)
truthfully, ive noticed the pregnancy deception tends to occur more with older women, i.e. 40s and 50s, mebbe it was less shunned a generation ago. in my opinion the womens rights movement didnt just liberate women, but it liberated men too. e.g., when women work a career, it puts less pressure for the man to bring home the bacon, and theres less of a need for a man to produce a large salary. heck, some men even have the option of being a stay at home dad now. also, now that more women are pursuing careers and pushing back marriage and babies, this gives men more freedom as well to sow their wild oats, and less pressure for them to propose. so im thinking mebbe older women are less likely to think the pregnancy deception thing is "wrong" becuz back in the day, society put alot of pressure on adults to marry and make babies already.