View Full Version : The "Most Annoying Customer Comments" Thread
blondhottie
12-10-2010, 09:00 PM
"I know how this works."
"Do I look like I need a dance?" -Um yeah, actually you do.
"You just want my money."-Duh! It sure ain't your looks or your charming personality.
And especially when they give you unwanted advice on what to wear or how to do your job, like "You should go talk to that guy over there. He looks like he has money." "You shouldn't wear boots; they cover up your legs." "I liked the way you did your makeup yesterday better."
Tasha_xoxo
12-10-2010, 09:49 PM
So how much for outside? - why is this always followed by - But its only a block away!! Oh! Oh well! In that case! I was concerned about a long walk before I fuck your limp dick for a hundred bucks! But if its ONLY a block away, lets get going! (moron)
hahaha,,good one! lmfao.
SummerKiss
12-11-2010, 11:14 AM
I have to ask.. what the hell does it mean to have gypsy eyes... I get the tell me my future or some crap like that and when I ask they say I have gypsy eyes... I might be missing a culture thing but gypsy eyes was not a complement back near the witch trials.. Its starting to get on my nerves...
You want me to tell you about your future? "I see you getting few LDs with me, NOW! Let's go and make it happen:)"
SummerKiss
12-11-2010, 11:22 AM
Again I gotta "How old are you?" crap last night. I gave the dude my usual line of $1 for every year, but he was relentless... I got very annoyed at him, and finally told him "Dude, this a SC not your regular bar where you go trying to score for the night. so my age, likewise your gross income, what kinda car u drive, job u have, or how many inches long your dick is, is very rude AND POINTLESS. THIS IS NOT A DATE, WE ARE NOT ON A DATING SITE.
Actually, he was trying to be nice, and bought me a drink, but totally clueless about talking to girls. I told him to follow my "advice" from now on.
anouk.oui
12-12-2010, 10:48 PM
I have to ask.. what the hell does it mean to have gypsy eyes... I get the tell me my future or some crap like that and when I ask they say I have gypsy eyes... I might be missing a culture thing but gypsy eyes was not a complement back near the witch trials.. Its starting to get on my nerves...
if you dont work in eastern europe i would take it as a compliment
in eastern europe gypsies steal shit constantly, beat up other kids, live in one bedroom places with 6 kids, have kids really young, most likely fathered by her brother or dad
if american i second the mysterious fortune teller thang
MarvelGirl
12-13-2010, 11:01 PM
"Nobody likes your hair/outfit/shoes/boots/tattoos/makeup but their just too nice to say anything. You should go change it and then I'll get a dance."
Always said by some drunk piece of shit under 30. I love telling these guys to go fuck themselves. They act so shocked.
Or my favorite "Your so pretty, but you have red hair. Eww, red hair is gross. Why don't you dye your hair? Redheads are so ugly but you'd be so pretty with blonde hair. I don't know why anyone would want red hair. Gingers don't have souls you know, you should definitely bleach it."
Yeah, cuz I wud like totally gro a soul if I used hair bleach.
WTF do you even say to something like that besides "fuck off retard"?
charlie61
12-14-2010, 08:11 AM
^ Do people seriously say that shit to you????
Amareth
12-14-2010, 12:12 PM
Or my favorite "Your so pretty, but you have red hair. Eww, red hair is gross. Why don't you dye your hair? Redheads are so ugly but you'd be so pretty with blonde hair. I don't know why anyone would want red hair. Gingers don't have souls you know, you should definitely bleach it."
Whoa :O ... If you're telling the other guys to go fuck themselves I hope you're doing something a lot worse to these guys. Even if they're just joking they definitely deserve a few inches of plastic heel in the groin.
For the record I've always thought redhead chicks are hot. And strippers don't have souls anyway so I don't see why hair colour matters ::)
MarvelGirl
12-14-2010, 03:36 PM
^ Do people seriously say that shit to you????
I think it's supposed to be funny, but after hearing the South Park bit about how gingers don't have souls a few hundred times, it's gotten old.
It's kind of weird too because I don't have the ginger look. My hair isn't curly or kinky, it's straight. I also tan and my makeup covers the light freckles that I do have. My hair is also a natural looking red so it looks light brown in the dark club. Often a guy will be talking to me for a few minutes and then one of the lights hits my hair and he goes "OMG, you're a redhead!" Usually the reaction is good but occasionally some asshole decides to go off on me for being a nasty ginger.
You know, now that I think about it, maybe I get it because I'm not an obvious redhead at first glance (in the club). Those guys would probably just avoid me altogether or tell me to piss off if they knew "what I was" right off the bat.
I dunno, after a lifetime of hearing the redheaded stepchild bit, being called Axl Rose and asked if a giant used me as a tampon in grade school, I'm kind of done with the redhead teasing, lol.
It doesn't hurt my feelings, just goddamn annoying.:P
MarvelGirl
12-14-2010, 03:37 PM
Whoa :O ... If you're telling the other guys to go fuck themselves I hope you're doing something a lot worse to these guys. Even if they're just joking they definitely deserve a few inches of plastic heel in the groin.
For the record I've always thought redhead chicks are hot. And strippers don't have souls anyway so I don't see why hair colour matters ::)
lol, I'm so using the strippers don't have souls anyways line. Thank you!
anouk.oui
12-15-2010, 01:52 PM
go work at a blonde club and as the only redheard you will have your own customer fanclub and cult following =]
ayvaleigh
12-15-2010, 02:29 PM
I hate the guys who come in with the following:
"What's your number?" - "I don't give it out to customers" - "But I'm not like the other customers." (yeah, sure)
"When you're ready, I'll take care of you and your kids" - (umm....ok freak - like I'm gonna let some stranger looking for a wife in a SC near my kids!)
I also have to agree with the "What's your REAL name?" bullshit. I have a fake "real" name too.
"How old are you?" - I always say, "However old you want me to be."
Oh and I HATE the guys who come in and turn down LDs because they say "I'm just here to have a few beers and watch the game." Oh, well if that's the case, there's a sports bar right down the street where there aren't half naked women to distract you from football.
Ugh! Soo over retarded customers! Glad I'm about to start camming, although I'm sure there is a fair share of douches in that arena too.
sananeko
12-21-2010, 11:37 PM
This was off the clock but still it needs to be added to my rant list.. C for clueless..
C- Can I buy you a drink?
Me- Sure I'll have a coke.
C- how about something stronger?
Me- I don't drink so no.
C- .... Ok. I'm about to go out for a smoke, care to join?
Me- No thank you, I don't smoke.
C- ... really?
Me- .. Really and its ten degrees outside.. too cold for me.
C- ... Ok how about a special treat. I have a few in the car?
Me- No thank you, I-
C- You don't do drugs.....
Me- Yep..
C- Fuck girl what are you the virgin mary...?
Me- Nope.
After that it goes into a rant about how the hell did I ever pass the stripper test.. Really. Am I reading people too quickly or something.. I use to give people chances but I'm sick of people trying to stalk/fuck/fondle/take me home... But I do admit it only happens with every other person I meet..
Jay12
12-22-2010, 12:15 AM
Today I had a customer that was telling me how I should dance on stage. OMG, I wanted to kick him!
My answer? "Dude, I'm a performer not a pleaser, so if you excuse me, leave the are because other people want to see me dancing". He stayed, but he threw more money at me...and stayed quiet!
teaze
12-22-2010, 03:13 AM
During college night, I particularly can't STAND IT when there's guys who will only get dances if they are done out in the open. I suggest going to the back room where everyone else is doing the dances, but NO he "only want his dances done here" in the tiny portable chair he's sitting in right now. It's so tiring doing dances in these dumb ass chairs compared to the lap dancing areas. On top of that, there aren't many dance moves I can do since I have enough space just for an air dance and the stupid chair has wheels. Oh and of course, he has on a stupid ass grin on because everyone in the club is watching. Grrrr.
kitinboots
12-22-2010, 07:49 AM
Some 19 year old douchebag last night "I could be the richest guy in this room. How do you know I'm not?"
So I told him that without a doubt my boss is the richest guy in the room, and he doesn't feel the need to go round talking about it.
mischa_5
12-24-2010, 11:27 PM
OH! Biggest line ever... "I/we just got here"
AND??? So I tell them I'll come back when they're shit faced.
A few times they've said they don't have enough money or "come back later" and 5 minutes later I see some raunchy girl go up to them, grab them and drag them to a dance. WTF is that shit
I soooo hate it when guys do this^
girlygirl21
12-25-2010, 12:37 AM
"earn the dollar. Shake it for me baby, work it! come on now, shake it" when they have one dollar at the tip rail
"you dont look 22. Your lying. Your atleast 27. 28 even. I can memorize dates and throw them out as well" When they ask my age
"but why cant I touch? This is supposed to be a table dance right? Thats not a table dance if I cant touch. i shouldnt have to fucking pay for this shit" not referring to my arm or leg, but to me for not letting them finger me in the ass
morganstars
12-25-2010, 03:41 PM
-"where are you from?" stalker.
-"you got a man?" no. but who cares?
-"what does your boyfriend think of this?" like they assume I do...I don't have one...also, who cares. oh and then they ARGUE with me about the fact I don't have a boyfriend. "yeah you do!" "you're married, don't lie!" "come on, you HAVE to have a boyfriend!" I'm sure YOU, strange man, know my relationship status more than I would, I'm sure.
-"do your parents know you do this?" "what do your parents think about this?"
-"are you married?" I'm not, but rude.
-"got kids?" I don't, also rude to ask.
-"how old are you?"
-"what else do you do besides this?" WHO CARES
-"are those real glasses?" I can't even. or "can I try them on" NO
-"i don't do dances" then GTFO
-"go make your money" omg I hate this
-"you're the most beautiful girl in here"
-"can I touch?" "can I lick ___" oh goddd when we're dancing and they PLEAD to let me let them touch/lick/whatever
-"what do your tattoos mean?"
-"i'm just enjoying the show."
-"I/we just got here" ok. and? time to party, lames.
-on stage..."EARN this dollar! show me something!" I'M TOPLESS GIVE ME YOUR DOLLAR "put your boobs in my face!"
-when they try and argue about the prices...IT'S NOT A FLEA MARKET. this isn't Wal-Mart, there are no roll-backs. they find it funny when I say this.
-I'm white but I speak Spanish, so I HATE when they ask if they can fuck me, take me to a hotel, offer me $100 to have sex, etc in Spanish. for some reason it's more irritating hearing it in Spanish.
last night at last dance I got "so it's Christmas and I'm sure you're in the giving mood...how about a free lap dance?" I couldn't even believe it. then at that moment, the DJ actually went on the mic and told me to move on and find someone to dance with...and I then told the rude guy to eff off.
Flickdreams
12-26-2010, 05:27 AM
im not racist either,,
but damn your right,,
i refuse to dance for them.
and also,,when i get pissy with them,,they ALL reply with....
"as you wish." UGH!
:D:D "as you wish"
Yeah thanks Aladdin!
livingdeadgirl
12-26-2010, 06:50 AM
"Nobody likes your hair/outfit/shoes/boots/tattoos/makeup but their just too nice to say anything. You should go change it and then I'll get a dance."
Always said by some drunk piece of shit under 30. I love telling these guys to go fuck themselves. They act so shocked.
Or my favorite "Your so pretty, but you have red hair. Eww, red hair is gross. Why don't you dye your hair? Redheads are so ugly but you'd be so pretty with blonde hair. I don't know why anyone would want red hair. Gingers don't have souls you know, you should definitely bleach it."
Yeah, cuz I wud like totally gro a soul if I used hair bleach.
WTF do you even say to something like that besides "fuck off retard"?
WOW people really say that to you?!
monicabi
12-27-2010, 10:13 PM
seems like same bullshit goes everywhere.
Flickdreams
12-28-2010, 01:56 AM
"Nobody likes your hair/outfit/shoes/boots/tattoos/makeup but their just too nice to say anything. You should go change it and then I'll get a dance."
Always said by some drunk piece of shit under 30. I love telling these guys to go fuck themselves. They act so shocked.
Or my favorite "Your so pretty, but you have red hair. Eww, red hair is gross. Why don't you dye your hair? Redheads are so ugly but you'd be so pretty with blonde hair. I don't know why anyone would want red hair. Gingers don't have souls you know, you should definitely bleach it."
Yeah, cuz I wud like totally gro a soul if I used hair bleach.
WTF do you even say to something like that besides "fuck off retard"?
:D- How do they manage to function on a daily basis??
Jay12
12-28-2010, 11:54 AM
I once had this customer that claims he was gonna give me tons of money (while he jacked himself looking at me; he was very discreet, he did it without actually having to get his his hands inside the pants), yet he never gave me anything.
I kicked him out of the club; I did a judo move on him, and threw him through the door, seriously!!!!!
He just doesn't come to see me and get a free ride staring at me.
The club fined me for assaulting a customer, but I was satisfied. My mental sanity is priceless.
Jay12
12-28-2010, 12:08 PM
-I'm white but I speak Spanish, so I HATE when they ask if they can fuck me, take me to a hotel, offer me $100 to have sex, etc in Spanish. for some reason it's more irritating hearing it in Spanish.
You know that there's plenty of white people whose first language is Spanish, right?
Pay attention to the politicians from Argentina and Peru, unless you don't count having olive skin as being white.
http://do-while.com/beautiful-female-politicians/
Lillionaire
12-28-2010, 01:38 PM
"So, do you do this for the money?"
Wait, excuse me.... what?
"You do this for the money, right? That's why you're here?"
Wait, I'm sorry... You think I just... what?
Like, you think I just... come in here because I like to do this... for FREE?
Like, I need to party so hard, I come in and do this every week for FUN?
Wait, did you really just ask me that?
Um, YEAH.
I mean... I WORK here. This is my JOB.
Did you even know that... or...? Do you think I live here?
That question was so stupid, it just blew me away.
Roxychu
12-29-2010, 08:40 PM
-----
Amareth
01-01-2011, 10:09 PM
I always start a dance saying "hands to the side, no touching" so often as soon as a straddle them Ifeel their hands on my legs so I take them off and put them back to the side which leads to this conversation:
"What? I can't even touch your legs?"
"No"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure"
"Why can't I?"
"It's a non-touching club, I can get fired and you'll get kicked out"
"It'd be worth it"
"It'd be worth losing my job for? Don't think so"
"Okay, so how much to touch you?"
"Not for sale"
"Why not?"
"It's against state law to touch"
"Oh come on, no-one will see"
"They have cameras"
"where?"
*point to cameras*
Well I'm sure you know how to do it so the cameras don't see"
"I don't care, it's no touching"
Seriously sometimes it goes on like this for the whole dance and I get so close to just screaming "I DO NOT want your filthy fucking hands on me okay?!? Along with it being against the fucking law the thought of your pervy paws anywhere on my skin utterly repulses me!! So stop harassing me!!".
What part of "no" do these guys not understand?
Jay12
01-02-2011, 07:51 AM
Yesterday, a bunch of guys started asking things like "so, if you're Puerto Rican, why are you white?", or "wow, you sure are extremely pale to be from the tropics", or "you cannot be Puerto Rican, all the Puerto Ricans I know are brown and you're barely olive".
Really?!!!
shinysugar
01-03-2011, 02:33 AM
yep going to re-post a lot of things above
how tall are you?
why do you wear such tall shoes?
assholes we're all the same lying down!
you're so beautiful/sexy/ hot... "but i bet you get that all the time."
what are you going to do for my dollar? stage
have you ever kicked anybody/spilled their drink? stage
how about a 2 for 1 dance?
what do you think about girls with fake boobs?
why would you want fake boobs? because ten mins later your going upstairs with the biggest tits in the place! (i just really miss my huge post preg boobies)
what does your boyfriend/family think of you doing this?
can you just put your mouth/pussy/hand on it?
can i lick/touch it?
do you know where to get blow?
how about you buy me a drink?
so what's your real name?
what's that girls' real name?
i bet you're all friends in here
you wont believe what my stupid wife did this week!
if we go upstairs what are you gonna do for me?
what are you doing after this?
do you like girls?
what are you going to do after dancing?
why aren't you modeling?
does your baby's dad help you?
we should hang out sometime.
as a door girl the worst comment was 10 dollars to get in!
i also get sick of hearing myself ask all the same questions as well
just take me upstairs already!!!!
livingdeadgirl
01-03-2011, 06:13 AM
-I'm white but I speak Spanish, so I HATE when they ask if they can fuck me, take me to a hotel, offer me $100 to have sex, etc in Spanish. for some reason it's more irritating hearing it in Spanish.
i cant understand so I usually just stand there like an idiot smiling.
firemaiden04
01-03-2011, 03:21 PM
If I'm in my cynical mood (which I usually am, I'm just very good at hiding it), whenever a customer tells me, "Wow, you're so beautiful/gorgeous/hot," or, "Your hair/face/skin/eyes/tits are so nice," I will sarcastically respond with, "Well, I try." I guess the sarcasm isn't very obvious, cause when I say that, they ALWAYS say, oh-so-earnestly, "Oh, you don't have to try!" I guess I just get a huge kick out of getting that answer out of every customer. It's so predictable, and it makes me snicker on the inside.
Flickdreams
01-03-2011, 11:19 PM
You smell sooo good
"Well the daily showers really help"
*Jade*Love
01-03-2011, 11:34 PM
If I'm in my cynical mood (which I usually am, I'm just very good at hiding it), whenever a customer tells me, "Wow, you're so beautiful/gorgeous/hot," or, "Your hair/face/skin/eyes/tits are so nice," I will sarcastically respond with, "Well, I try." I guess the sarcasm isn't very obvious, cause when I say that, they ALWAYS say, oh-so-earnestly, "Oh, you don't have to try!" I guess I just get a huge kick out of getting that answer out of every customer. It's so predictable, and it makes me snicker on the inside.
Hahahaha! I have this exact same convo with customers at my club, I find it amusing that every time they answer the same way and don't seem to pick up on the sarcasm. Gosh that's so weird.
brooklyninphilly
01-03-2011, 11:54 PM
"I'm not giving you this dollar, you make ENOUGH money. You make TONS of money."
My response is "If you're not giving me a dollar, imagine how many other guys have your attitude."
"What are you gonna do for this dollar????"
UHM.
femmesalome
01-24-2011, 01:49 PM
Last night an Indian gentleman asked me to dance for him and as I was taking my clothes off, he asked if he could suck on my tits and to touch him down there. and then his annoying friend came out of nowhere and was like "give him full service, give him full service." WTH?
Lyssah
01-24-2011, 07:26 PM
How about - best responses to those common questions???
I've only danced three nights and I'm already sick of "what's your tattoo say"
Seriously??It's a rose with a name and it's obviously a memorial - how dumb are you?? ugh.
I've also gotten the "what else do you do?" so much I started telling the guys about the job I WAS doing before as if it was my day job now....
Tasha_xoxo
01-26-2011, 05:01 PM
How about - best responses to those common questions???
oh thats a good one.
jenn_t
01-30-2011, 03:47 PM
Some nice sweet gem of a man asked me the other day "Did you get yours boobs done so big because your brain is so small?"... Nice one! Now I know why you're here....UGH!
firemaiden04
01-30-2011, 06:02 PM
I had a customer stop me when I was walking by, and he told me that he loved my "child-bearing hips" and "breasts just made to give babies milk"...and he stayed on this whole tangent for like a minute, just going on and on, till I kind of just backed away.
kitinboots
01-30-2011, 09:40 PM
"I could have sept with you if I wanted"
Guy was an asshole and I didn't hesitate to tell him so.
livingdeadgirl
01-31-2011, 08:19 AM
"I could have sept with you if I wanted"
bahahaha
wow. :D
charlie61
01-31-2011, 09:47 AM
I had a customer stop me when I was walking by, and he told me that he loved my "child-bearing hips" and "breasts just made to give babies milk"...and he stayed on this whole tangent for like a minute, just going on and on, till I kind of just backed away.
:ill:
Good move on your part. Putting up with guys like that makes $20 feel like $.20
sierra.
01-31-2011, 08:13 PM
I had a customer stop me when I was walking by, and he told me that he loved my "child-bearing hips" and "breasts just made to give babies milk"...and he stayed on this whole tangent for like a minute, just going on and on, till I kind of just backed away.
I once had a guy tell me he liked my "tilted uterus."
He said it like it was a totally normal compliment.
Like, "Oh, I love your tits." but instead its "Oh, I love your tilted uterus."
Jasmine Jade
01-31-2011, 10:09 PM
Can I have your phone number?- I've had so many guys force their phone number on me that I've decided to collect the business cards and make a collage.
What's your nationality?- I get asked this about 20 times a night. Sure, I look different but I'm just so sick of explaining it to everyone.
Convince my why it's worth my money. - This is usually enough to make me walk away.
You're too innocent for me to get a dance-. If I was innocent I wouldn't be taking my clothes off and dry humping air for a living.
You're too good for this place. - Then why don't you get a dance off me?
You look 16...there's no way your 23. - Just because I have a small rack does not automatically make me pre pubescent.
charlie61
01-31-2011, 10:22 PM
You're too innocent for me to get a dance-. If I was innocent I wouldn't be taking my clothes off and dry humping air for a living.
You look 16...there's no way your 23. - Just because I have a small rack does not automatically make me pre pubescent.
Lol!!! :D
Lacy Luck
01-31-2011, 11:39 PM
I once had a guy tell me he liked my "tilted uterus."
He said it like it was a totally normal compliment.
Like, "Oh, I love your tits." but instead its "Oh, I love your tilted uterus."
LOL Does he even know what that is? There is no way to tell if you have a tilted uterus unless he just gave you a gyno exam.
livingdeadgirl
02-01-2011, 06:53 AM
LOL Does he even know what that is? There is no way to tell if you have a tilted uterus unless he just gave you a gyno exam.
yaa wtfff haha
femmesalome
02-01-2011, 11:47 PM
How about - best responses to those common questions???
I've only danced three nights and I'm already sick of "what's your tattoo say"
Seriously??It's a rose with a name and it's obviously a memorial - how dumb are you?? ugh.
I've also gotten the "what else do you do?" so much I started telling the guys about the job I WAS doing before as if it was my day job now....
how I would respond to a "what else do you do?" question would be
YOU! smile
and then say.. may I? be sexy, flirty, smile and lead him to the dance area
femmesalome
02-01-2011, 11:54 PM
Some nice sweet gem of a man asked me the other day "Did you get yours boobs done so big because your brain is so small?"... Nice one! Now I know why you're here....UGH!
my response maybe something like this :
no silly, they're here for your satisfaction, do you likely likely. lol. I would love to rub them on that nice head of yours..when I know you better of course.
Let's go get to know each other now!