View Full Version : The "Most Annoying Customer Comments" Thread
Lyssah
02-02-2011, 08:41 PM
LOL! Thanks @ Femmesalome, I'll def try that tomorrow!! ha.
Aslinn
02-05-2011, 05:54 AM
"What are you doing after this?"
A: I'm going to go smoke my crack pipe and get beat by my pimp because you didn't give me any money
How old are you?
A: older than jesus.....
No really how old?
A: I'm 18
Omg I feel old!
A: even if I was thirty, dude you would still be hella old.
Why don't you get naked?
A: because I have a tampon stuck in my vagina, now if you want too see it I can accomidate your need right now.
Why don't you act like your black?(I seriously get this every night no joke)
A: I have taken extensive english language classes since the day I was imported from africa so I could entertain men. It took ages to get me to stop snapping my fingers and screaming at everybody who looked at me.
(Someone believed me I just sat in the dressing room laughing for ten minutes)
What is your real name?
A: Bonquisha
Do you have a boyfriend?
A: my pimp won't let me, besides Maury is still trying to find my baby daddy.
I'm not makeing these answers up fyi, I seriously said this too people like two days ago because I was pissy and burnt out....my manager suggested I take a few days off lmao
charlie61
02-05-2011, 09:32 AM
^ Love. It.
Aslinn
02-05-2011, 05:59 PM
^ Love. It.
Thankyou it was just not a good day for me, then after that I went to breakfast and a cracked out lady tried to hit my favorite waitress in the face....so I had to rip her a new one. I think I'm hormonal right now lmao
_natasha
02-06-2011, 10:19 AM
'You should be my secretary. You'd be paid better than here, I go abroad 8 months of the year and you'd come too. It would be a better life for you. I mean, you have no qualifications, but I can teach you all you need to know....'
Oh wow thanks, because I'm halfway through a law degree and when I've finished that, I'd LOVE to be your lowly paid and sexually harassed employee.
sananeko
02-06-2011, 10:25 AM
'You should be my secretary. You'd be paid better than here, I go abroad 8 months of the year and you'd come too. It would be a better life for you. I mean, you have no qualifications, but I can teach you all you need to know....'
Oh wow thanks, because I'm halfway through a law degree and when I've finished that, I'd LOVE to be your lowly paid and sexually harassed employee.
Oh REALLY! You are willing to pay 4000 a day to have me as your secretary, teach me all the skills I need and to never have sex with me? Sure as long you pay up front and sign a contract stating my employment.
Sasha-Brooke
02-07-2011, 02:23 PM
Here's just a few of the one's I've heard too often and some of my response...
"You're so hot"...Thanks
"Do you have a boy friend"...just a few right now (not true but love to say that)
"I don't do lap dances but I'd love to take you out"...If you can't afford a dance where would we be going for our date? Mickey D's?
"You're so nice...why are you working here?"...I love all the hot men that come in here (I especially love saying that when they are 5'10" 300lbs)
"If we go to VIP what can we do"....I can dance and we can chat in private
"Can I get a BJ in VIP...it's a lot of money just for the room"....I'm sure you probably can, but not from me..DOHHHH
"I want to do VIP, but you have to let me taste your pussy"...BYE!!!
JaneysGun
02-07-2011, 03:34 PM
"What are you doing after?"
--I think from now on I'm going to respond to this question with, "YOUR MOM."
Laurisa
02-07-2011, 04:00 PM
It was the last call for lap dances, we were closing. I walked up to a fool in a crazy hat, it was crazy hat night.
Me: "Would you like to have some fun before we close?"
Custy: "I find you incredibly attractive but feel that I would be incredibly disappointed by your lap dance."
Me: "Well that's good because I find you incredibly unattractive and was only talking to you to try and get some money." *walks off and snickers*
JaneysGun
02-07-2011, 04:08 PM
I keep getting told that my "tramp stamp" (I fuckin' HATE IT when they call it that) resembles an arrow pointing down to my "back door" which is EXACTLY where they wanna FUCK ME.
(it's an aries symbol. not an arrow.)
And I can't count the number of times I've been asked if I like anal.
femmefatale88
02-07-2011, 10:41 PM
I came up to a guy to say hi and he kept on going on about my (obviously) fake eyelashes, saying it was "false advertising". And then he went on to ask are your breasts and hair fake too? Fucking asshole, I coulda killed him. Next time I see him he's getting thrown out by the bouncer.
Amareth
02-07-2011, 10:53 PM
^ I hate guys like that. False advertising, pffft. 99% of girls (not just strippers) go out having one or a combination of false eyelashes/hair extensions/dyed hair/acrylic nails/fake tan/breast implants/high heels/make-up, all things designed to make us more attractive that we don't normally have. You really want a dance from someone natural? Good luck finding a girl who hasn't shaved in 2 months and just rolled out of bed.
Idiot.
Spinnerette
02-08-2011, 09:13 AM
"What are you doing after this?"
A: I'm going to go smoke my crack pipe and get beat by my pimp because you didn't give me any money
How old are you?
A: older than jesus.....
No really how old?
A: I'm 18
Omg I feel old!
A: even if I was thirty, dude you would still be hella old.
Why don't you get naked?
A: because I have a tampon stuck in my vagina, now if you want too see it I can accomidate your need right now.
Why don't you act like your black?(I seriously get this every night no joke)
A: I have taken extensive english language classes since the day I was imported from africa so I could entertain men. It took ages to get me to stop snapping my fingers and screaming at everybody who looked at me.
(Someone believed me I just sat in the dressing room laughing for ten minutes)
What is your real name?
A: Bonquisha
Do you have a boyfriend?
A: my pimp won't let me, besides Maury is still trying to find my baby daddy.
I'm not makeing these answers up fyi, I seriously said this too people like two days ago because I was pissy and burnt out....my manager suggested I take a few days off lmao
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: These are frickin' hilarious!
Kisca
02-08-2011, 09:27 AM
"Oh wow look at you...!"
(doesnt even look at my face, but my body for 5 whole mins going Mhmmmm between words)
"You look like a young.... a young Miley Cyrus before she was 18! ...... How old are you, your not 18 right?"
Eww creep, I know I look young but not THAT young.. and I sure know I dont look like Miley.. not even a bit!
sananeko
02-08-2011, 09:31 AM
"You are the whitest black I've ever seen! I got five so you can keep the change after the fuck, cause you know.. I'm a gentlemen."
I'm about to put a cap in someones ass..
Tasha_xoxo
02-08-2011, 03:11 PM
LMFAO! ^^^^^
wtf someone said that to you? lol.
sananeko
02-08-2011, 03:20 PM
LMFAO! ^^^^^
wtf someone said that to you? lol.
I was sitting at a bar drinking a soda.. I'm in iowa so I'm hoping that is not going to be normal..
CherryBomb954
02-08-2011, 03:46 PM
The most annoying comment to me, above all : "Smile!" SO simple yet so insanely aggrivating.
So Fine Divyne
02-08-2011, 04:46 PM
Why don't you talk black?
Do you talk white to all your customers?
Do you talk like this all the time or just when you are at work?
I even had one retard, at my one and only day at a black club say to me,"You don't have to talk white to me. You mean you really talk like that all the time? Do you have a man? Is he black? How the fuck can he stand to hear your voice sound like that? Here's $5. Get the fuck away from me the way you talk is driving me insane." I took his $5 and jetted.
Like, wtf? I'm sorry my mom and dad taught me English. How dare I sound like I learned something at sometime in my life.When the hell did black and white become languages?
Aslinn
02-08-2011, 10:26 PM
Why don't you talk black?
Do you talk white to all your customers?
Do you talk like this all the time or just when you are at work?
I even had one retard, at my one and only day at a black club say to me,"You don't have to talk white to me. You mean you really talk like that all the time? Do you have a man? Is he black? How the fuck can he stand to hear your voice sound like that? Here's $5. Get the fuck away from me the way you talk is driving me insane." I took his $5 and jetted.
Like, wtf? I'm sorry my mom and dad taught me English. How dare I sound like I learned something at sometime in my life.When the hell did black and white become languages?
Omg I have no idea when it became a language! I'm going to walk around doing my redneck voice and see how freaked everyone gets!
Jay12
02-11-2011, 04:23 PM
I always get the "white" thing, and it feels weird. Is like, the majority of customers always expect indigenous looking people to know Spanish.
The last time I was told that, I said: "Sorry for looking less like America Ferrera and more like Paz Vega." He felt so stupid; he looked on his phone a picture of Paz Vega, and well, he was shocked. He though she was Russian, not Spaniard.
http://www.mytelevision.com/movie_stars/pictures/paz_vega.jpg
This is Paz Vega, and she's from Spain; the old country.
anouk.oui
02-19-2011, 10:34 PM
i was out for a cigarette and this guy and his friend wanted to come to the club.
the friend was being a bitch.
friend: oh cmon man, do we really have to go in? strip clubs are shit. theyre so weird, its not my thing. im just not into it. all the girls rubbing tits in the guys face on the stage making them think theyre into them when all they want is fucking money. the whole thing is fake, fake names, personalities, tits etc. id rather just go to a pub and work on a REAL girl.
*turns to me*
you must get that huh, are there guys like me who are weird about coming in here? im sure its normal.
me: i dont know, i dont hang out at the stonewall [local gay nightclub] often enough.
lil fagalicious fucks off and i get applouded by a group of guys about to walk in
:D
xGigi
02-20-2011, 05:50 AM
I've only danced three nights and I'm already sick of "what's your tattoo say"
Seriously??It's a rose with a name and it's obviously a memorial - how dumb are you?? ugh.
I HATE "what does your tattoo say?"
I started putting thick concealer and powder over my tattoo because I was just tired of talking about it. even a simple tattoo, guys will ask you why you got it. it's personal! fuck off!
picksydusst82
02-20-2011, 08:01 PM
"you're pretty hot but too foreign for me"
Nuclear Martini
02-20-2011, 08:37 PM
Oh my goodness! I can't imagine a customer saying that to me. I would have been outraged. How rude! Keep it to your damn self, asshole
anouk.oui
02-20-2011, 11:01 PM
abnoxious dude talking about other quiet dude in group:
AD: hes like a toned down homosexual. didnt even wanna come in today. i had to make him come!
me: really, you made him come?
whole club erupts in laughter
cherryblossomsinspring
02-22-2011, 08:33 AM
what about last time when a table with 4/5 mexican guys were asking "how much is a girl to go?' i was like huh??? They repeated the question saying money wasn't a problem, and i politely said thanks and declined the "indecent" proposal. Then, i tried to approach one of them for a ld, and he was like avoiding the question, so i threw back at him his friend's comment about "money is not a problem", and a ld is way cheaper than a girl "to-go"... Summary" they keep trying to low ball me and i pretty much told all of them off "there is no 1/2 price. Do i look like i am half price to you? No... So it's full price for a ld. If don't have the money, do not waste my time. Have a good nite:)" it feels so empowering to say that.
i also hate when customers want to waste ur time "ur so beautiful", and try to get a free feel and/or make me sit on their laps....it happened a lot last nite. "no, if you want me to sit on ur lap ---the ld room is the place and it's $20" --- did they go for it? No... I watched these "touching feeling" guys, and they didn't even tip the girls on stage.
"how old are you?" --- me: How much money do you make? ---lol they were like huh? See, some questions are very rude to be asked and they don't matter in the end. The, i say " if i tell you my age, you will have to tip me a dollar for each year of my life... Ok, i am 90 years old, and you owe me $90... Time waster left me alone after that... Which was exactly what i expected him to do.
Do you do topless lds? Dude -- seriously??? You've been going to scs for a while, and this is an alcohol club... Do i need to explain the basics??? C'mon
ugggggggggggg!!!! I'm reading this and it's driving me insane!! I want to go running into one of these clubs with a baseball bat!! It sickens the hell out of me. See i would so get arrested for sure if someone tried to feel me up and sitting in my face spewing garbage. I go through this online but you can just ignore these losers and they get nothing. Uggg this sickens me that someone is within body shot of touching you.
I had problems with the indian men at regular dance clubs and i some guy grabbed my a$$ at a lounge and i kneed that bastard right in the kisser and he got kicked out! Ugg i can't take these disrespectful losers. I'm not exactly sure what it is with the indian men per se. I block all indian countries and middle eastern countries whenever i sign up on a cam site. It's weird that they are all the same way no matter what. Maybe someone that's born here is different , but majority will never spend a dime so i look in my connections see that country and kick. They are always asking for contact info or trying to send it to you. Weird! I never knew that women went through this at strip clubs too! Even non sexual chat sites, they do the same . Something is wrong with how they approach women. Or maybe it's some stupid stereotype of american women. Not sure
cherryblossomsinspring
02-22-2011, 08:39 AM
"you're pretty hot but too foreign for me"
ONCE AGAIN!!! LOSER ALERT!
I WANT YOU BUT I HATE THAT I CAN'T HAVE YOU SO THIS GUY IS GOING FOR THE
LET ME REJECT YOU FIRST APPROACH.
Someone going out of their way to insult you is saying that your so important that they need to do this. Basically trying to take you down a few pegs.
I will strip clubs worked like DMV. They write their name on a board next to your name after paying the fee. Then when their name is called you can go off to your prepaid dance with them. They need to run these clubs better. Girls should never have to go up to men to sit on their lap and grind on them. And for $20.00 bucks? Why is that so expensive? Alot of these guys are 2 minute wonders so he'll be done before the song is over.
cherryblossomsinspring
02-22-2011, 08:42 AM
i was out for a cigarette and this guy and his friend wanted to come to the club.
the friend was being a bitch.
friend: oh cmon man, do we really have to go in? strip clubs are shit. theyre so weird, its not my thing. im just not into it. all the girls rubbing tits in the guys face on the stage making them think theyre into them when all they want is fucking money. the whole thing is fake, fake names, personalities, tits etc. id rather just go to a pub and work on a REAL girl.
*turns to me*
you must get that huh, are there guys like me who are weird about coming in here? im sure its normal.
me: i dont know, i dont hang out at the stonewall [local gay nightclub] often enough.
lil fagalicious fucks off and i get applouded by a group of guys about to walk in
:D
NIIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!!!!! yes this loser wants to sit in a girl's face without buying her a drink and hoping to get laid. Pathetic and their breath usually smells like vomit! hate those types at dance clubs.
cherryblossomsinspring
02-22-2011, 08:47 AM
Why don't you talk black?
Do you talk white to all your customers?
Do you talk like this all the time or just when you are at work?
I even had one retard, at my one and only day at a black club say to me,"You don't have to talk white to me. You mean you really talk like that all the time? Do you have a man? Is he black? How the fuck can he stand to hear your voice sound like that? Here's $5. Get the fuck away from me the way you talk is driving me insane." I took his $5 and jetted.
Like, wtf? I'm sorry my mom and dad taught me English. How dare I sound like I learned something at sometime in my life.When the hell did black and white become languages?
Actually the loser that was trying to get me for $150.00 roll in the sack said the same thing. First I was sophisticated then you sound like a white girl. lol I was like so am I supposed to say "yo yo" Seriously? What a loser! Go to the ghetto and find that $150.00 ho! Or save that money and find a street walker. I'm pretty sure she'll do you for $40 bucks.
C0RINNE
02-22-2011, 12:51 PM
The other night I sit down with a customer. He claims to be a songwriter for Disney... Says he's super rich, successful and blahblahblah
Him: I'm the hottest guy in here, don't you agree?
Me: Well you might be the cockiest ::) So how bout some dances?
Him: If you play your cards right, you could end up getting a piece of this
Me: (getting annoyed) should I be so lucky... Why don't we go have some fun in VIP baby?
Him: So how bout it? Come back to my hotel room. It'll be the best night of your life.
I just got up and left. He then proceeded to freak out and yell stuff like "That's some bullshit! Why are you being such a cunt?"
That was one magic carpet ride I definitely didn't want to go on. What a douche!
Amareth
02-23-2011, 09:33 AM
^lol, he actually expected that to work :D
A while ago while dancing for a guy he kept saying the typical "you're too good for this, I have so much respect for you, seriously you're so hot I just really respect you so much" then without skipping a beat "how much to come home with me?"
Yep. Really feeling the repsect there buddy ::)
cherryblossomsinspring
02-23-2011, 11:37 AM
^lol, he actually expected that to work :d
a while ago while dancing for a guy he kept saying the typical "you're too good for this, i have so much respect for you, seriously you're so hot i just really respect you so much" then without skipping a beat "how much to come home with me?"
yep. Really feeling the repsect there buddy ::)
haaaaaaaaaaaa!!!lol
Aurora_Sunset
02-23-2011, 02:32 PM
I HATE the "I just got here" line when asking for tips. It is almost always said by guys who were there in plenty of time to see me on the stage, and it's like dude, I was the one up on a stage, twirling 360 degrees - I can see the entire room - do you think I'm just fucking blind or stupid that I couldn't see you sitting there watching me the entire time? And you want to pretend you didn't, just to save a dollar? >:(
I also had a customer say to me the other night, when I asked if he was tipping the ladies, "Some of them," giving me a look like 'but not you." Dick...
The most wtf moment I've had though was a guy who, when I was sitting next to him went on and on about "Why do women hate men? Why don't you trust us?" And then 20 minutes later, during a LD, offered me 150 bucks to go home with him... /:O
Guys also think it's the most hilarious thing in the world that my major is Religious Studies and go "Isn't that an oxymoron for a stripper?"
anouk.oui
02-23-2011, 08:14 PM
im dancing for losers with funny money on their table whilst on podium and ask for a tip and they begin to tell me they just got here and are 'window shopping' and not ready to spend yet
Amareth
02-23-2011, 08:40 PM
Just remembered another one from a while ago. Asked this guy for dance he replies "I just got here, this is my first beer I want to wait till I've finished it" I think fair enough, it's quiet so I sit and chat to him for the rest of his beer.
He finishes it, goes to the bar to get another one, sits back down next to me so I say "so you must be ready for that dance now?" he replies "I just got here, this is my first beer"
I just looked at him like :O and said "I just saw you finish your beer and go get another one, I've been talking to you for 10 minutes". He doesn't say anything and just sips his beer.
I backed away slowly.
anouk.oui
02-24-2011, 12:14 AM
his first 'first beer' was probably his 4th. beth es been using that line all night. fucker. spill it on him
xGigi
02-24-2011, 01:56 PM
Just remembered another one from a while ago. Asked this guy for dance he replies "I just got here, this is my first beer I want to wait till I've finished it" I think fair enough, it's quiet so I sit and chat to him for the rest of his beer.
He finishes it, goes to the bar to get another one, sits back down next to me so I say "so you must be ready for that dance now?" he replies "I just got here, this is my first beer"
I just looked at him like :O and said "I just saw you finish your beer and go get another one, I've been talking to you for 10 minutes". He doesn't say anything and just sips his beer.
I backed away slowly.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! what a psycho!!!
I hate the "I just got here" line. I want to go to THEIR jobs and say that. go to their car dealerships and when they ask if I need any help be like "DAMN I JUST GOT HERE"
go to their restaurants and when they ask what I'd like to order "I JUST GOT HERE LET ME HAVE SOME FREAKING WATER FIRST"
and I would REALLY love one of the salesmen business guys to give me THEIR best pitch so I can say "maybe later!"
Surprise
02-24-2011, 02:15 PM
bah, last night i did a VIP with a guy who haggled with me about price
me: baby it's $600 for the rest of the evening (it was only going to be an hour and a half) and you'll get uninterrupted playtime!!
him: that's kind of expensive... and i even bought you a bottle of vodka!!
alcohol doesn't pay my bills. wtf.
xGigi
02-24-2011, 02:49 PM
lol I hate that. "But I bought you a drink!!! why do you want a dance?"
Jay12
03-09-2011, 10:58 AM
Ok. Last night I had this naval pilot as my customer (who I obviously didn't tell I'm an enlisted sailor). He kept insisting in speaking bad Russian to me despite that I kept telling him I'm Puerto Rican, and that the only languages I can speak besides English are Spanish, Portuguese and Japanese.
No Russian.
Athenathefabulous
03-26-2011, 03:42 PM
I had a customer keep telling me that i was a bad boy during the lapdance. wasnt even sure how to react to that one.
and yes, he was american. it was not a mishap where someone confused pronouns due to english being their second language.
Jay12
03-29-2011, 09:47 AM
^ Was he gay or something?
Fionaver
03-29-2011, 11:40 AM
I was walking by a table a couple nights ago when one girl (customer) turned to the other and said "If I didn't have morals, I would soooo be a stripper and give you money."
>:(
Twat.
Jay12
03-30-2011, 12:34 PM
I was walking by a table a couple nights ago when one girl (customer) turned to the other and said "If I didn't have morals, I would soooo be a stripper and give you money."
Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since I have no morals, I can tell you to get the fuck outta here!!!!!!!
This would totally shut her up.
MarvelGirl
03-30-2011, 01:03 PM
Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since I have no morals, I can tell you to get the fuck outta here!!!!!!!
This would totally shut her up.
And perpetuate the stereotype that strippers are vile pieces of shit with no morals or ethics.
Gee, thanks.
Lacy Luck
03-30-2011, 01:46 PM
^Eh, there is no winning with such twatwaffle holier than thou customers. Might as well tell her we are possessed by satan. At least she'd shut the fuck up.
sananeko
03-30-2011, 02:35 PM
^Eh, there is no winning with such twatwaffle holier than thou customers. Might as well tell her we are possessed by satan. At least she'd shut the fuck up.
Or put on that sweet southern accent and tell her to have a nice day. It might only be iowa but when you mimic that blond chick with the big hooters they tend to shut up and leave.. oh what was her name simposn.. or something..
dark.eyed.doll
04-02-2011, 03:23 PM
I HATE it when, after a few minutes of conversation, the guy is like, "Oh, I don't want you to dance for me! I want to take you out to dinner!"
Dude...really? This is a strip club. Not a singles bar. Taking me to dinner doesn't pay my rent, thanks.
SparkyBunny
04-02-2011, 03:39 PM
I HATE it when, after a few minutes of conversation, the guy is like, "Oh, I don't want you to dance for me! I want to take you out to dinner!"
Dude...really? This is a strip club. Not a singles bar. Taking me to dinner doesn't pay my rent, thanks.
"I'll buy you a drink, but I'm not into dances. No offense to your profession or anything, it just does nothing for me/I don't like being teased by something I can't have."
"You can pay me for talking to you."
"Why would I do that? You like talking to me!"
*headbar*