View Full Version : STUPID annoying shit I've heard on cam....
AutumnAmbrosia
08-02-2013, 12:44 PM
34581
What the fuck just happened? My head fucking hurts now. /:O
Well, I know a certain someone who just lost his DM privileges. >:(
OH GOD IT HURTS. The fucking assholes who can't speak English or refuse to are almost the best. They try SO HARD.
Free user:"Pls to tkng off shirt???"
Free user:"PlS tak off shit!"
Free user:"PLS TO TAKING OFF SHRT FR TTIS!"
I imagine the Asian dude from The Hangover screaming in fucked up English and that just makes my day. Please tell me I am not the only one who thinks this? I feel incredibly racist or something.
Snowy0Star
08-02-2013, 12:50 PM
OH GOD IT HURTS. The fucking assholes who can't speak English or refuse to are almost the best. They try SO HARD.
Free user:"Pls to tkng off shirt???"
Free user:"PlS tak off shit!"
Free user:"PLS TO TAKING OFF SHRT FR TTIS!"
I imagine the Asian dude from The Hangover screaming in fucked up English and that just makes my day. Please tell me I am not the only one who thinks this? I feel incredibly racist or something.
no u dont when im on cb and i get a name that looks something something similar to this jfg3pw4njtgvoiu8w and all they know how to do is press the M and spell intimate body parts and keep asking over and over when i try to ignore them i assume their middle eastern and ban them - not for being middle eastern but for being gray and spamming my chat with free request
AutumnAmbrosia
08-02-2013, 12:52 PM
On MFC someone tips for a pussy close up. I put my camera close to my vag and spread the lips.
Twatface basic: Oh BB you have beautiful cervix!
I beg you pardon?
He makes your pussy sound like a gaping cave or something.
Now, I have strong reason to believe this fucker is no gynecologist, but it DOES sound like the only sex ed he's ever had came from hentai. Y'know, the ones that show women getting fucked...with a cock so big, it shows through the skin in their stomach? Or by tentacles. And have you ever read the dialogue from one of those things? "You have a beautiful cervix" sounds like it would fit right in in a hentai feature. lmfao
AutumnAmbrosia
08-02-2013, 12:53 PM
not for being middle eastern but for being gray and spamming my chat with free request
Yes. THIS. <3
Snowy0Star
08-02-2013, 12:55 PM
He makes your pussy sound like a gaping cave or something.
Now, I have strong reason to believe this fucker is no gynecologist, but it DOES sound like the only sex ed he's ever had came from hentai. Y'know, the ones that show women getting fucked...with a cock so big, it shows through the skin in their stomach? Or by tentacles. And have you ever read the dialogue from one of those things? "You have a beautiful cervix" sounds like it would fit right in in a hentai feature. lmfao
lol IKR i think that's just bad translating tho but it does make sense now. now im going to think myslef hentai watcher when someone makes some offhand comment about non-sensicle anatomy
Marina Starr
08-02-2013, 01:12 PM
I get this quite a bit, "Are you really a Transsexual?"
I know it's a "compliment" but it gets annoying. What does a Transsexual supposed to look like?
AutumnAmbrosia
08-02-2013, 01:31 PM
I get this quite a bit, "Are you really a Transsexual?"
I know it's a "compliment" but it gets annoying. What does a Transsexual supposed to look like?
Like this. Duuuuuh! ;D
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o56/sparklznsmilez/RHPS_zps74f8b7a3.gif (http://s117.photobucket.com/user/sparklznsmilez/media/RHPS_zps74f8b7a3.gif.html)
AutumnAmbrosia
08-02-2013, 07:31 PM
blackdick8: how tall are you?
Me: All my info is in my profile below, babe. :)
blackdick8: you seem taller then 5'5 i dunno why
All he could see was my face and shoulders in the cam.
BANNED.
VictoriaChaos
08-02-2013, 07:34 PM
^Funny when usernames hold true.
justanothercamgirl
08-02-2013, 09:33 PM
Meanwhile in the GS
attention_seeker: your nipples point at your toes
JAC: *ignores*
--attention_seeker logged off--
It is so cute how they try to get a rise out of me because they are mad at themselves because they realized they should of read the GS description.
justanothercamgirl
08-02-2013, 09:49 PM
butthurt: 26 or u mean 36?
----
I am sure the fact you made that comment has NOTHING to do with the fact that you just begged me through an entire $1 GS for me to show my face to which I repeatedly reminded you over and over again in auto-text that my GS description it is clearly marked that I don't show my face.
And even if I was 36.....so fucking what? There are so super hot camgirls out there that are over 40! So if you expect me to take it as an insult to be compared to them.....prepare to be disappointed.
Via Flaminia
08-02-2013, 11:37 PM
34587
Where to begin?
AutumnAmbrosia
08-03-2013, 12:31 AM
34587
Where to begin?
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o56/sparklznsmilez/lolwut_zps0986cd35.jpg (http://s117.photobucket.com/user/sparklznsmilez/media/lolwut_zps0986cd35.jpg.html)
justanothercamgirl
08-03-2013, 12:48 AM
Just got tagged with: overrated
Anyone want to take a guess which of the following two asshats I mentioned above did it?
AutumnAmbrosia
08-03-2013, 12:50 AM
Anyone want to take a guess which of the following two asshats I mentioned above did it?
Attention_seeker?
justanothercamgirl
08-03-2013, 01:09 AM
Attention_seeker?
I was actually thinking it was probably butthurt. It is like playing 'Camgirl Clue' though. They both are really good suspects. :)
Ashley_3
08-03-2013, 01:39 AM
Have a wild cock and cum filled weekend ya seXXXy wee fukker!
I got this at the end of a message :)
Procrasturbator
08-03-2013, 02:09 AM
This is less annoying than amazing.
i want to eat your pussy
build a house down there
stick my tongue in there
vagina and rectum
live down there
eat smell taste
i am going to lick your vagina with my tongue
everywhere and see
if i can reach your cervical os
and try to go into your cervical canal
go all the way through vagina
hell yeah
you will see it
i am going to bit your clit
clitoris
and vibrate it
and juggle it between my teeth tongue
and lower teeth
i am going to move ur labia major out of the way
so i can get the full clit
then stick my tongue a little below the
clit into your urethra
i am going to push on your belly
and force you to pee in my mouth
and i am going to drink it all
i am going to drink your pee
after itcomes out of your urethra
handcuff you
eat your vagina
urethra
clitoris
rectum
stick my tongue in each of them
reach your cervical os, cervical canal say hi to the uterus
tell the uterus to stay healthy
and keep the periods cycle going
lets turn to your rectum now
i am going to bend you over while
ur handcuffed
and just stick my nose in there
god ur so gorgeous
breathtaking
wowi love your pointy cute nose
and jaw and tight lips
and ur petite
perfectvery very cute
but in a really sexy mature way
long blonde goldilocks hai
hair
is fantastic
a turn on
dirty blonde
wow
gorgeous nails
wow
soooo sexy
i want to have sex with you
give me a daughter
i want my daughter to look just like you
i want her to have those eyes and nose and lips
and hair and everything else
Honestly, "let's turn to your rectum now" is my very favorite part. I want to use it as a response to everything.
"Tits plz bb? :)"
"Let's turn to your rectum now."
"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Let's turn to your rectum now."
Oh, and he says he's a doctor, so we can rest assured that this is completely anatomically accurate.
AutumnAmbrosia
08-03-2013, 03:32 AM
god ur so gorgeous
breathtaking
wowi love your pointy cute nose
and jaw and tight lips
and ur petite
perfectvery very cute
but in a really sexy mature way
How I view customers who try to talk even remotely romantically:
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o56/sparklznsmilez/masterofromance_zpsf73e3ebe.gif (http://s117.photobucket.com/user/sparklznsmilez/media/masterofromance_zpsf73e3ebe.gif.html)
AutumnAmbrosia
08-03-2013, 03:52 AM
5 mins ago, this happened. I can't stop laughing.
"fuck bb if only u were single in boston
id hold my hard haity chest gainst u bb mm caress u all over kiss u all over
oh bbi lov to spoon too while u get your catnap my sex kitten"
Just what?
IsobelWren
08-03-2013, 11:00 AM
This is less annoying than amazing.
i want to eat your pussy
build a house down there
stick my tongue in there
vagina and rectum
live down there
eat smell taste
O_o I'm picturing this in a fairy tale kind of way. The elves have constructed a house in your vagina, the brownies in your rectum. Walk through the forest, part a curtain of weeping willow and there's Procrasturbator's vagina, with a gingerbread house inside it.
i am going to lick your vagina with my tongue
everywhere and see
if i can reach your cervical os
and try to go into your cervical canal
go all the way through vagina
Well, at least he admits that he's only going to try and reach it? If he can reach a cervix with his tongue, I think he should try out to be a Gene Simmons impersonator. He'd be even better than the man himself!
The first thing I thought of when I read that was, "No shit! He used the correct anatomical term for the opening of the cervix. I have never seen that on a cam site before." Neither have I seen someone even mention the cervical canal anywhere outside of medical literature.
i am going to bit your clit
clitoris
and vibrate it
and juggle it between my teeth tongue
and lower teeth
O_o Ow.
i am going to move ur labia major out of the way
so i can get the full clit
Doc must not be up on the latest in medical research. The great majority of your clit is inside your body. Though, I guess if he parted your lips and licked up and down in between the majora and minora he would be rubbing over those bits...
then stick my tongue a little below the
clit into your urethra
i am going to push on your belly
and force you to pee in my mouth
and i am going to drink it all
i am going to drink your pee
after itcomes out of your urethra
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ewface.gif
give me a daughter
i want my daughter to look just like you
i want her to have those eyes and nose and lips
and hair and everything else
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Creepometer2.gif
Honestly, "let's turn to your rectum now" is my very favorite part. I want to use it as a response to everything.
Agreed!
Oh, and he says he's a doctor, so we can rest assured that this is completely anatomically accurate.
Oddly enough, it pretty much is. I certainly hope he's not a gynecologist though.
justanothercamgirl
08-03-2013, 12:07 PM
Meanwhile in the $1 GS
douchebag: lady your are terrible at this
----
Oh my god! You are so right! That must be why ONLY 12000 people have listed me as their favourite.
I might as well just give up camming right now.
Maybe I can go and be a school teacher or something.
chloemay
08-03-2013, 02:12 PM
Meanwhile in the $1 GS
douchebag: lady your are terrible at this
----
Oh my god! You are so right! That must be why ONLY 12000 people have listed me as their favourite.
I might as well just give up camming right now.
Maybe I can go and be a school teacher or something.
That is so funny, it is now my goal to have a guy say that I am terrible at this. Did you burst out laughing or what?
ManyRoses
08-03-2013, 04:13 PM
Has anyone else seen a huge increase in guys saying that they will "suck ur pussy" lately?
I swear, every second show, they are telling me that they will suck my pussy.
Not even my clit (which would be fine), but nope, the whole damn shebang. HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK????!!!
I just....I can't......I imagine tentacle suckers.....plungers....
tattooed_fox
08-03-2013, 04:28 PM
"tell the uterus to stay healthy"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... CANT STOP LAUGHING.
Graceface
08-03-2013, 06:27 PM
hurrduurp: james 53
great you
age
mine
diploid 53
im 53
high
Me: ok
look owo wow
high high
Me: I look high? (I don't even smoke cigarettes while on cam)
yes you do
Me:o me
dildio in as and pussy
ok
So I go to lube up my toys and dude logs off.
I don't even... day shift you be cray.
DoodlebugBites
08-03-2013, 07:29 PM
FetishDirector: Hi sweet you have a plunger at home??
Me: no, sure don't, sorry
FetishDirector: Can you think of times a plunger pressing against your stomach?? Thus, the plunger that sucks at your sweet belly and a round mark on your belly and a round footprint at your navel. Also give you gold if you do it
Me: sorry, love
FetishDirector: Plunger on the Belly 5 Gold
Me: sorry, don't have one
FetishDirector: Bellybutton
[Annnd SCENE!]
justanothercamgirl
08-03-2013, 09:12 PM
That is so funny, it is now my goal to have a guy say that I am terrible at this. Did you burst out laughing or what?
I just kind of smirked to myself at the logic fail on his part.
I mean, I already had his dollar so therefore I can't be THAT bad at it.
CanadianRuby
08-04-2013, 12:08 AM
FetishDirector: Hi sweet you have a plunger at home??
Me: no, sure don't, sorry
FetishDirector: Can you think of times a plunger pressing against your stomach?? Thus, the plunger that sucks at your sweet belly and a round mark on your belly and a round footprint at your navel. Also give you gold if you do it
Me: sorry, love
FetishDirector: Plunger on the Belly 5 Gold
Me: sorry, don't have one
FetishDirector: Bellybutton
[Annnd SCENE!]
34594
I have a terrible phobia of bellybuttons. *freaks out* It's called Omphalophobia.
Uhg
uh
uhgghughuguhg
That's the second time today I came across someone talking about belly buttons as their fetish.
Graceface
08-04-2013, 02:52 AM
Dipshitdickforbrains: (tips 1 dollar) Show tounge.
Me: Totally...after you finish tipping me.
Dispshitwhyareyoustillinmyfuckingfreechat: (silence)
Me: It CLEARLY states in my room topic that all requests are $5
Dipshitomgitburns: (silence)
Me: FINISH TIPPING ME BEFORE I BAN YOU.
Dipshitwhhhhhyyyyyohgodwhyyyyy: (silence)
BAN
pippapippa
08-04-2013, 03:14 AM
This is less annoying than amazing.
i want to eat your pussy
build a house down there
stick my tongue in there
vagina and rectum
live down there
eat smell taste
i am going to lick your vagina with my tongue
everywhere and see
if i can reach your cervical os
and try to go into your cervical canal
go all the way through vagina
hell yeah
you will see it
i am going to bit your clit
clitoris
and vibrate it
and juggle it between my teeth tongue
and lower teeth
i am going to move ur labia major out of the way
so i can get the full clit
then stick my tongue a little below the
clit into your urethra
i am going to push on your belly
and force you to pee in my mouth
and i am going to drink it all
i am going to drink your pee
after itcomes out of your urethra
handcuff you
eat your vagina
urethra
clitoris
rectum
stick my tongue in each of them
reach your cervical os, cervical canal say hi to the uterus
tell the uterus to stay healthy
and keep the periods cycle going
lets turn to your rectum now
i am going to bend you over while
ur handcuffed
and just stick my nose in there
god ur so gorgeous
breathtaking
wowi love your pointy cute nose
and jaw and tight lips
and ur petite
perfectvery very cute
but in a really sexy mature way
long blonde goldilocks hai
hair
is fantastic
a turn on
dirty blonde
wow
gorgeous nails
wow
soooo sexy
i want to have sex with you
give me a daughter
i want my daughter to look just like you
i want her to have those eyes and nose and lips
and hair and everything else
Honestly, "let's turn to your rectum now" is my very favorite part. I want to use it as a response to everything.
"Tits plz bb? :)"
"Let's turn to your rectum now."
"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Let's turn to your rectum now."
Oh, and he says he's a doctor, so we can rest assured that this is completely anatomically accurate.
Thanks so much for posting this. I honestly cried laughing.
Sunnylexie
08-04-2013, 03:15 AM
Barak: hi baby. what do u say you give me a free show and I will give you 50 pictures of mine in return?.
When they do it, I privately type "But I don't want to see your dick! =/ ". Sometimes you've got to tell them the truth.
VictoriaChaos
08-04-2013, 06:39 AM
GAWD, I didn't save the conversation I wish I had.
Basically he wanted me to use my belly like a pussy.
He had me rub my belly button like a clit and had me get a quarter, nickel and a dime to compare it to.
Easy money, yes but it was weird.
He too thought it was weird, he kept saying "sorry I know it's weird"
He was really really nice about the whole thing and stayed for awhile.
Maybe I should just start offering belly shows. I've seen a lot of guys with that fetish now that I'm paying attention to it.
Once you learn a certain fetish a lot of the stuff guy want you to do for free makes a lot more sense.
Glad I charge people when they ask me to stand...
Snowy0Star
08-04-2013, 06:50 AM
GAWD, I didn't save the conversation I wish I had.
Basically he wanted me to use my belly like a pussy.
He had me rub my belly button like a clit and had me get a quarter, nickel and a dime to compare it to.
Easy money, yes but it was weird.
He too thought it was weird, he kept saying "sorry I know it's weird"
He was really really nice about the whole thing and stayed for awhile.
Maybe I should just start offering belly shows. I've seen a lot of guys with that fetish now that I'm paying attention to it.
Once you learn a certain fetish a lot of the stuff guy want you to do for free makes a lot more sense.
Glad I charge people when they ask me to stand...
i had a guy once want me to fuck the fold in my stomach along my belly bottom line with a dildo and fuck my belly button its comes along with the territory of being a bbw bb
VictoriaChaos
08-04-2013, 07:00 AM
^ Oh shit.
I didn't even think of that.
That makes so much sense.
EphemeronXOXO
08-04-2013, 07:42 AM
Snowy u remembered what I told you! About the bellybutton fetish awwwwwww thank youuu seee Im sooo happy that u ALSO think its a great idea:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
But the trick is with that and the belly fucking which is a whole diff thing than the actual bellybutton thingy.....it really counts how naturally u can act. Because the act makes it perfect and enjoyable. If you are a bit shy - Hey Vicky btw:P - practise a lot and record it and watch it back! <3 beautiful sunday to lovely ladies!
Rose_Who
08-04-2013, 08:03 AM
This was a back-and-forth email about a custom clip:
Shady McScammer:
1) can i ask you to kneel down and kowtow to the camera like a submissive slave girl?
2) how much is a 3 minutes video?
3) is paypal available?
----------------------
The Friendly and Beautiful Rose:
No paypal. You can use amazon giftcards, or donations via clps4sale.
I would be willing to do such a video, however I require a minimum of 5 minutes for my customs. Even if you just really want it to be only 3 minutes, you will be charged for 5, which comes to $45 for a basic custom. if you wish me to do something in the video that makes it un-resellable, such as using your name, then that will be an additional $25. If you require any special materials to be used that I do no have on hand and will cost me more that $10ish of my own money, you will have to cover those costs, as well. I will cover minor expenses out of my own pocket.
Once I receive payment, we can discuss your video in further detail. I guarantee delivery within one week of receiving payment.
---------------------
Shady McScammer:
unfortunately, my credit card doesn't work at clps4sale. i don't know why.
---------------------
The Kind and Patient, but Slightly Sarcastic Rose:
I'm sorry, but if your credit card is being declined by a reputable merchant, then I will have to decline, as well.
---------------------
Here's a hint: If C4S declines your credit card, then maybe you should make sure that A) You didn't steal your credit card, and B) You have CREDIT. No, Mr. Shady McScammer, I will not be getting scammed by you today. No C4S, no clips for you.
Bubblegum1235
08-04-2013, 08:22 AM
This is the funniest thing I ever heard, the ultimate freeloader. Last night some guy get into my room, and after a few minutes hi says:
FL: Bb get naked in private?
Me: Sure :)
FL: Private running: Please stand up and take your bra off (in free chat)
Me: O.O hahahahahhahaha
He left.
JGB2009
08-04-2013, 10:12 AM
I worked this weekend and I had two people that said something funny...
Dick wad one: Show me ur tail (LMAO even someone in my room commented on that )
Dick wad two: Do you hAve cam?
Marina Starr
08-04-2013, 12:43 PM
Fucktard: you are very sexy, bb!
Marina: I have so much more to show you.
Fucktard: oh yeah?
Marina: Yeah, in pvt or exclusive.
Fucktard: I have problem with credit card.
Marina: As in no money?!
Fucktard: yeah.
BANNED! Get the fuck outta here!
funismymiddlename
08-04-2013, 12:49 PM
If one more person says I have small tits I'm gonna scream. a 34c is not small. I'm like a small 34 c now if I lose 5 lbs I'll prob drop to a full b. But wtf I have a small body. Even when I'm a b with my body frame at 114 lbs that's medium not small. These guys don't understand what the word medium.
That's like saying a 5.5 in dick is small. Or any dick that's not 9 in is small.
kortneykay
08-04-2013, 01:53 PM
During a GS today.
cheapass: Damn baby, $6 for your premium rates? You're sexy but man...
me: Awww I'm sorry bb, you'll just have to get a better job :(
my brain: Why not just tip in for the GS? It's only $4 and 8 whole minutes...cheap ass douchebag.
>.<
justanothercamgirl
08-04-2013, 02:43 PM
During a GS today.
cheapass: Damn baby, $6 for your premium rates? You're sexy but man...
me: Awww I'm sorry bb, you'll just have to get a better job :(
my brain: Why not just tip in for the GS? It's only $4 and 8 whole minutes...cheap ass douchebag.
>.<
I know!
The time I get the most complaints about my per minute price is when I am running a GS! O.O
If anyone could explain the inner workings behind that phenomena to me, I'd be forever grateful!
Graceface
08-04-2013, 06:58 PM
Fucktard: you are very sexy, bb!
Marina: I have so much more to show you.
Fucktard: oh yeah?
Marina: Yeah, in pvt or exclusive.
Fucktard: I have problem with credit card.
Marina: As in no money?!
Fucktard: yeah.
BANNED! Get the fuck outta here!
On SM there is a setting that makes it so bitches without a credit card can't come into your room. I don't know if there is a similar setting on other sites, but I find that my troll quotient has gone WAY down since I found out about it.
Digressional Tangent: I'm getting burnt out on hearing, "You're sexy, BB!". At least 50% of the guys who say it ain't got no motherfuckin' money.
ConnyLove
08-04-2013, 07:36 PM
I
Dick wad two: Do you hAve cam?
Omg ! next time he would ask if you have internet connection !
LilyAnderson
08-04-2013, 09:46 PM
"if you were a burger at mcdonalds you'd be the "Mcgorgeous"
quite possibly the worst line...ever.
SoloDesire
08-04-2013, 10:14 PM
"if you were a burger at mcdonalds you'd be the "Mcgorgeous"
quite possibly the worst line...ever.
I literally JUST heard the same line!!
CanadianRuby
08-04-2013, 10:50 PM
Why did you all start talking about belly buttons......n
*scream*
I hate them.
Haha my phobia is SO debilitating....just seing someone else touch their own bellybutton makes me nauseous and all squirmy. Phobia are weird like that. Makes no sense.
My profile on mgf specifically states I dont cater to ageplay, diapers, blood,scat,pain on me, or bellybuttons....bahahah.
Yuck yuck
CanadianRuby
08-04-2013, 11:07 PM
Creeper message from a guy on MGF:
p.s. i'd love to coat your body in honey and lick you clean, not missing a centimeter of your perfect little body.
My thoughts: That would be incredibly awkward. Strange tells me he literally wants to give me a tongue bath. Nice introduction. Ill just keep reading that part of the email in a creepy stalker voice from horror movies.
jessymisspretty
08-05-2013, 05:17 AM
From my experienced years, i think if you are performer on webcam you don't need to take everything serious or personal, just be funny smile and get along with it. People on the webcam are elder people and alone that seek compassion, if you are just fake you will not succeed