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View Full Version : STUPID annoying shit I've heard on cam....



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MissAnthrope
12-20-2013, 05:53 PM
Had a couple good ones a night or two ago.

First one a bunch of people were starting to ask me about the other person in my room. I work alone. So naturally I replied, "Silly guys it's just me here!"

But over time more and more of them started talking about it and pointing out a blue blanket I've been using as a curtain as it had been moving.

I realized I had moved it when I pushed my chair back a couple of times so I told them that I bumped it off cam. and someone pointed out that they saw feet O_O

I looked and some shoes were hanging out from under the bottom of it, and I joked that it was where I stashed the dead bodies.

"REally?! There?!"

HELL no. You think I'd admit it if I did? lol. I couldn't believe some of the guys bought it.



Another one was a milk guy. Now i'm trans see... and the conversation goes somewhat like this:

Him: "Mmn, let's see some of that milk then!"
Me:"Uh... I'm trans and not stimulating myself to give milk?"
Him: "Oh no it's always there, show me that tranny milk!"
Me:"That's something that isn't always there... for ANYONE."
Him:"Couldn't you just try and squeeze it? It'll come out..."

I just shook my head after that. Disbelief and facepalms.

neeve
12-20-2013, 06:29 PM
This is stupidly long and stupidly annoying so I figured it belonged here. Believe it or not i've taken bits out of it:




Would you make a custom video for me?



Here is the script.



Please be completely naked, on your back on the floor (or on a mat to make it more comfortable for you) with your legs spread wide open.



Your boyfriend should walk around you in a complete circle filming you in that position.



The camera should be on the floor or a pillow for a sideways view. (ie. perpendicular to you.)



You should say to him: “I am going to keep my legs spread open nice and wide for you.”



He should then have sex with you in missionary position for about four minutes. He should be holding himself up with his arms partially extended. You and your boyfriend should be kissing on the lips as much as possible. (I really like kissing during missionary position, so please do this a lot.) The idea is that you are really making love. Please use your thumbs to rub his nipples. To give an example of the position I am looking for, I have attached a pic of a woman doing push-ups. This is similar to the position I am looking for (upside down, of course). (If your boyfriend needs you to stop rubbing his nipples because it is too much stimulation, please rub with your thumbs just above his nipples so it still looks like you are rubbing his nipples.)



During missionary, please keep your legs spread open as wide as you can like in the pic I attached. Please stay in that position the whole time during missionary. Also, please don’t have your boyfriend “hook” your legs open with his arms.



Please have an orgasm after about four minutes of missionary. (I know you will probably need to fake the orgasm, but I am sure I won’t know the difference.)



You should then get on all fours for doggy style sex. (I have attached a pic of the position I like in doggy.) Again he should walk around you in a complete circle filming you in that position. He should then have (vaginal) sex with you in that position for about four minutes. Your boyfriend should also reach forward and feel your breasts a couple of times during doggystyle. Also at some point, while still in doggystyle position, please lift up the front part of your body and turn your head and kiss him for about twenty seconds.



During doggystyle, his legs should be between yours, like in the pic I sent. Your knees and his knees should stay on the ground.



Please have another orgasm after about four minutes of doggystyle.



At that point, he should pick up the camera and sit upright at the edge of a chair. (Please see the picture attached.) You are completely naked. You are on your knees in front of him between his legs. The balls of your feet are facing up.



You put your elbows on his legs (to prop them up) while you rub his nipples. (Please place the palms of your hands near his pecs and use your thumbs to rub his nipples through the whole blowjob.)



You should then give him a blowjob.



I would like it shot POV. Please use a wide camera angle. He should film you giving the blowjob, but, every now and then, he should show the camera that your thumbs are rubbing his nipples while giving the blowjob.



Through the whole blowjob, your boyfriend should hold his dick at its base to keep it in position while it is in your mouth or while you lick it up and down the side or lick the tip. (Both of your hands will be busy rubbing his nipples.)



When he is cumming, the head of his dick should be in your mouth and you should be looking into the camera. (Please have at least the whole head of his dick in your mouth while he is cumming.) After he cums in your mouth, hold it there, show it to the camera and then swallow it, and open your mouth and stick out your tongue to show the camera that your mouth is empty. Lick your lips, then suck him a little more to get every drop out, swallow it, and then open your mouth and stick out your tongue to show the camera that you swallowed that too. If any of the cum slips out of your mouth, please push it into your mouth with your fingers. (Also, please ask the cameraman not to have any close-ups. I want to see your whole head in the frame. Also, please look into the camera during the blowjob, especially when he is cumming and you are swallowing.)



Then you should say “I always swallow the cum.”



During the blowjob part, I would like your boyfriend to hold the camera looking down at you and I would like you to look up as much as you can. Please don't have any ball licking or sucking. Also, please don’t use your hands at all (ie. don’t use a half handjob/half blowjob.)



Please don't use any eye shadow. (My mother used to wear a lot of blue eye shadow and it always reminds me of her.)



Please have your hair down.



If you usually wear glasses, please don’t wear them in the video.



Your boyfriend shouldn't say anything in the video.



Also, after he cums, if some of the cum slips out of your mouth, please use your fingers to push it into your mouth.



Also, please don’t wear a watch or bracelet. I would like you to be completely naked.



Please don’t have any music or a television on in the background.



The video should be about 8 to 10 minutes. (If you edit the vid, please leave the section of at least one minute leading up to him cuming in your mouth.)



Also, please make sure that you don’t have mygirlfund.com on in the background because if you do, you might get a chat request which will make that annoying beep sound.



Please rehearse all the lines. I intentionally did not include any lines during missionary or doggystyle positions. If you would like to, please say whatever you usually say when you make love during these parts. I want it to look like you really are making love and that you are enjoying it.

MissAnthrope
12-20-2013, 06:41 PM
Holy shit O_O

kortneykay
12-20-2013, 06:46 PM
OMG neeve, that was the absolutely most ridiculously, stupidest, and funniest script I've ever read. I literally laughed my ass off! That guy is fucking nuts. I mean, if you do it, I hope you do it right, otherwise you're going to have to edit and do it again haha. There will be fake orgasms for sure. Your poor bfs nipples are going to chafe off, and I think this guy needs a fucking robot, and NOT a woman. If you're going to do this, PLEASE make him pay you $5,000,000,000.

Jade62013
12-20-2013, 06:53 PM
This has happened to me with several guys lately:

Me (during gs countdown): Hey guys, let's make this show happy! I can't wait to play with myself I'm so horny!
Him: Lol no you're not, you are NOT horny OR You're lying about being horny

WTF? Who wants to argue with me about how horny I am? Anyone who antagonizes me in that way is immediately banned. Like wtf, asshole? You don't know how horny I am, who the fuck are YOU to tell me how horny I am?

neeve
12-20-2013, 07:24 PM
haha i read it out to him and i don't think he's ever looked so scared. I'm definitely not doing it, there's no way to give that guy exactly what he wants and he seems the type to throw a hissy fit if a tiny detail was wrong.
I'm still baffled by the 'if the stimulation is too much, fake rub the nipples'. The boyf is just like, 'how the hell do his nipples work'

audritwo
12-20-2013, 08:11 PM
Also you have four minutes to have an orgasm. LOLZ

Rina
12-21-2013, 12:15 AM
Fool: Where do you live?
(Note: My profile lists my location as Kings Landing, Westeros)
Me: Why are you coming to see me?
Fool: Maybe?
Me: Oh well how tall are you?
Fool: You like tall guys?
Me: I like all kinds of guys but last time a customer came to visit me I didn't make the hole long enough and I had to cut off his legs. It's hard to saw through bone and I broke a nail so this time I want to make sure the measurements are right. *slow smile*
Fool: *leaves room*
Regular: *tips 20 tokens*

Snowy0Star
12-21-2013, 12:53 AM
i want you to rub a deordrant stick on your elbow while hopping on one leg on a chinese flag covered in contact solution while i record you with a recently widowed woman from israel

VictoriaChaos
12-21-2013, 07:14 AM
Sitting in free chat topless because I was tipped to

NoPleasingMe: Can I see your ass bb?

Seriously?

You really can't please everybody...

justanothercamgirl
12-21-2013, 07:44 AM
Fool: Where do you live?
(Note: My profile lists my location as Kings Landing, Westeros)
Me: Why are you coming to see me?
Fool: Maybe?
Me: Oh well how tall are you?
Fool: You like tall guys?
Me: I like all kinds of guys but last time a customer came to visit me I didn't make the hole long enough and I had to cut off his legs. It's hard to saw through bone and I broke a nail so this time I want to make sure the measurements are right. *slow smile*
Fool: *leaves room*
Regular: *tips 20 tokens*

35822

Sunnylexie
12-21-2013, 10:35 AM
This is stupidly long and stupidly annoying so I figured it belonged here. Believe it or not i've taken bits out of it:


Your boyfriend should walk around you in a complete circle filming you in that position.

**************

You should say to him: “I am going to keep my legs spread open nice and wide for you.”

************************

He should then have sex with you in missionary position for about four minutes.

You should then get on all fours for doggy style sex. (I have attached a pic of the position I like in doggy.) Again he should walk around you in a complete circle filming you in that position.

******************************

He should then have (vaginal) sex with you in that position for about four minutes.

*************************************************
During doggystyle, his legs should be between yours, like in the pic I sent. Your knees and his knees should stay on the ground.



Please have another orgasm after about four minutes of doggystyle.

*******************************

You should then give him a blowjob.

***********************

The video should be about 8 to 10 minutes. (If you edit the vid, please leave the section of at least one minute leading up to him cuming in your mouth.)




Looks like the guy really sucks at maths. The missionary+doggy parts alone would make 10 minutes, unless you have your bf run when circling you with the camera.

Vlodina
12-21-2013, 12:47 PM
Great0291 has logged on

Great0291 has successfully sent you $10.00 of GOLD.

Great0291: take it off
faster
i dont want teasing
i want to see

Great0291 has been blocked.

MissAnthrope
12-21-2013, 07:11 PM
Guy who had been flirting hardcore and barely tipping enough to keep my attention pulls this out on me when I talk about tips for requests for him on CB.

2 ways
X
sit on my dick now
X:
this is a free room
X:
i may corrupt other members minds
X:
hahaha

So both not tipping AND trying to turn other people off from doing so? Yeah lol

caramelDip
12-22-2013, 08:18 AM
Lol this dude never spent a dime:



Im looking for someone who takes care of my Needs...First, we start out on $kype. This will work best if you have [email protected]@l. [email protected]@l is the way I'll send you $$$$$$ .I send $$$$ to [email protected]@l, We $kype, (Get it...??). This requires Trust....!!!!! After we develop a relationship then I become your Sugar Daddy....!!!!!!! All this is cyber only.. As a result I become someone who supports your lifestyle (smile). This does "NOT" mean I TAKE CARE of you....!!!!!!!!! I'm looking for someone who has and is doing there own thing as well . A mature Woman not a little Girl... !!!!!! I will never complicate your life nor will you mine...!!! If any of this is you or if you are interested Message me back.
> > >
> > > I expect you to take the time and we get to know one another FIRST...!!!!!!!! iF INTERESTED PLZ DONT AGREE THEN ASK FOR MONEY!!. What real Man is that stupid..?
> > > This is a "Special" realationship first and formost "But" TRUST has to be established first....!!!!!!!! [email protected]
> > >
> > > If this works for you cool if not I totally understand,,,
> > >

Snowy0Star
12-22-2013, 08:20 AM
Lol this dude never spent a dime:



Im looking for someone who takes care of my Needs...First, we start out on $kype. This will work best if you have [email protected]@l. [email protected]@l is the way I'll send you $$$$$$ .I send $$$$ to [email protected]@l, We $kype, (Get it...??). This requires Trust....!!!!! After we develop a relationship then I become your Sugar Daddy....!!!!!!! All this is cyber only.. As a result I become someone who supports your lifestyle (smile). This does "NOT" mean I TAKE CARE of you....!!!!!!!!! I'm looking for someone who has and is doing there own thing as well . A mature Woman not a little Girl... !!!!!! I will never complicate your life nor will you mine...!!! If any of this is you or if you are interested Message me back.
> > >
> > > I expect you to take the time and we get to know one another FIRST...!!!!!!!! iF INTERESTED PLZ DONT AGREE THEN ASK FOR MONEY!!. What real Man is that stupid..?
> > > This is a "Special" realationship first and formost "But" TRUST has to be established first....!!!!!!!! [email protected]
> > >
> > > If this works for you cool if not I totally understand,,,
> > >

translation - give me free sex shows and attention .

Sunnylexie
12-22-2013, 11:06 PM
Lol just had an idiot nearly jump out of his pants trying to prove that silicone ruins pussy, and bananas and veggies are the best for being all-natural. Must be one of them guys who fuck grapefruits and watermelons.

Sunnylexie
12-23-2013, 02:07 AM
35839

Graceface
12-23-2013, 03:46 AM
Great0291 has logged on

Great0291 has successfully sent you $10.00 of GOLD.

Great0291: take it off
faster
i dont want teasing
i want to see

Great0291 has been blocked.


:heartbeat

apryll11
12-23-2013, 06:21 AM
usually I don't block people, mainly because one of the sites i stream for makes it so hard. You have to type the name then log out ,log in. Who got time for that? This morning at 320am I made the fucking time. I stopped working till 4am a while back because traffic is super slow and I feel like im on page 9 or something. Only the same 2 squatters are in my room come 3am, like every nite at 3am its the same 2 motherfuckers. They dont beg for shit but if I dont log off they will stay in my room for hours enjoying my voice without a tip or a 40sec private to say thanks. So today I worked till 5a. So its 3am, my freeloaders come in, now one else enters my room, not even a guest. So when it gets like this I always ask my squatters to check my placement. If you cant take me private, earn your fucking keep and be my placement checker lapdog.
So lapdog #2, all he ever wants to talk about is if I think hes good looking and add him to my facebook, because clearly I need to friend his ass. This is his 2nd annoyance.
His 1st was he came into my room with credits on his account, never had credits before because hes a "broke student" , but today he is just flaunting his lil green $ sign in my face and doesn't take me private.
Now his 3rd offense, which got him banned for life. While hes going on about does he look cute( for the last 10min at this point) I asked him check my placement. He keeps talking how he wants to know what I think of his latest facebook pic, because clearly I long to see them, so I tell him go out my room check my placement and come back in. He tells me he's still waiting for me to add him to facebook, Hes been waiting since Sept I personally would have stopped waiting. So I tell him again leave my room and check my placement. This mother fucker tells me all I have to do is search my name and Ill see my placement or look in the offline host section. Then he proceeds to ask when Im going to look at his pics and add him. He was banned in under 5secs, I didn't know I could type so fast.
Give a squatter a few doallars on his account and next thing you know he act he has the right to question you and not follow orders.
However once his sqatting ass was blocked, I got 8 privates.

mia_noxx
12-23-2013, 11:50 AM
the most recent weird thing that happened was a week ago.... i was in freechat on imlive


my regular : omg RIP nelson mandela

me: whaat? when?

my regular: just now... it's allover the news.

random freeloader: the guy is dead. now show ass. honour the man !

justanothercamgirl
12-23-2013, 01:07 PM
the most recent weird thing that happened was a week ago.... i was in freechat on imlive


my regular : omg RIP nelson mandela

me: whaat? when?

my regular: just now... it's allover the news.

random freeloader: the guy is dead. now show ass. honour the man !

Ha ha! Can you imagine all the people at Nelson Mandela's funeral dressed like this to honour him?

35846

SavannahLynnn
12-24-2013, 12:58 AM
guy01: Heyy, it's my neighbor. Wow, I didn't know you did this!

me: Nice try dipshit, my neighbors already know I do this.


guy02: Anal?

me: Nope

guy02: Thats cool you're too beautiful for anal anyway

me: Aw, thanks. That's a strangely sweet compliment

guy02: Yeah so you should show me something for being so nice

me: Hahaha, Dude compliments don't get you free things

guy02: I'm glad I don't know you in real life because I'd spend all my money on you

me: I'm glad you don't either

mia_noxx
12-24-2013, 01:34 AM
Ha ha! Can you imagine all the people at Nelson Mandela's funeral dressed like this to honour him?

35846



BWAHAHA ! I just blew coffee from my nose while watching that.

Sunnylexie
12-24-2013, 02:02 AM
In a Gold Show:

Moron: are you a milf babe
Me: no I'm not)
Moron: No?
Me: imm not a mom.
Moron: Will you be if I ask you to
Moron has logged off
Moron has logged on
Moron: If I ask you to
Me: if you ask me to do what?
Moron: Be a milf


OK let me push some and POP the baby goes out of my vagina! Voila, I'm a mom! You're welcome. Now where they dispose of kids?

Another GS gem:

Idiot: you are beautiful but next time shave <3

Bitch please lol)

audritwo
12-24-2013, 06:09 AM
Idiot: you are beautiful but next time shave <3


Lol I HATE THAT!
I say "click the shaved category next time"

justanothercamgirl
12-24-2013, 09:10 AM
Meanwhile in the $1 GS

iamafiveyearoldindisguise: <(") it's a penguin
*JAC sighs*

redridinghood
12-25-2013, 04:23 PM
I've been going through this thread since joining recently, and I noticed this. He sent me the same exact message, so I assume he just spam sent it to several ladies.


Hahahaha! I love you!

Thank you for the visual lmao. I didn't even notice, or rather, my brain just probably couldn't comprehend the bits and peice I read over that made NO sense.

I still have yet to respond to his little message, but, I think I am going to crush his ego. He is the same age as me, apparently....and, if he thinks THAT is an "awesum stori" to send to ladies, he has GOT to be a little slow in the head.

I wonder if he wrote that specifically for me, like...looking at my photos and jerking it while typing that shit or something....probably....ew.

It's funny, because, I cut my nails super oober short, because it's no good being a cam girl with long as nails because i'll probably cut myself haha. The way he describes sex with ME, is not even close to how I would act...at all.

I don't like digging nails into skin....and, who the heck wants to be "fingered and penetrated in both holes" in a swimming pool?!

And...."grabbing my tit"....well, I have 34 A boobs....so, not much to grab there.

He's like the ultimate "god modder" of stories. His story is like, basically just some dude that ravages some poor girl in the pool in an unsanitary and degrading fashion. I was NOT turned on by his story. So many fucking dudes tell me their "stories" they wrote, and 99% of them SUCK.

bbwchristyminx
12-28-2013, 05:23 AM
member enters the room..
me: hey baby, happy holidays
him: Mr.MoneyBags: hey i just want to say i admire your confidence to have the bravery to charge guys to see that body and that face most girls wouldnt have the confidence with that body but you do hats off.
him: immediately logs off
me: thinks to myself, i make more money as a BBW cam girl than at any job i have ever had so i must not be that unattractive. LOL :)

justanothercamgirl
12-28-2013, 09:13 AM
Meanwhile in the $1 GS

entitled: can i see ur face bb??????

JAC: ......

entitled: can we see ass at east please?

JAC: Please read Gold Show description. This is your $1 preview. No requests or interaction. Want to direct your own personal show? Exclusive $12.99/min | Group $14.99/min

entitled: everyone dont get in its dumb

entitled: ok this is dumb no one reades discription

----

So, let me get this straight. You paid a single $1 and because you didn't read the description I am now entitled to do everything you requested EVEN THOUGH it is written in the GS description that I don't do those things.

Fucking waste of fucking white blood cells. I am so tired of these entitled and fucking pieces of shit douchebags that think that because they have paid in a $1 to a GS that I am now their fucking dancing monkey.*

*Note: I am REALLY sick today. I know that I should just let it go and move on but it is so hard to let things go when you are working when you are sick as a dog. :/

CatBBW
12-28-2013, 03:21 PM
Just now on AW cam...

Server Status : Group Has Started -----------------
CatBBW: hiya!
rippedfreak: hurt me
CatBBW: in what way would you like
rippedfreak leaves the room
Server Status : Group Has Finished ----------------


Communication will get you what you want...

Procrasturbator
12-29-2013, 12:19 AM
Me in pvt: Mmmm how do you like these tits?
(T) dumbass: there alright
Me: *busts up laughing* Hahahaha wow thanks
(T) sensiblecustie: Nice
(T) dumbass: they could be bigger
(T) dumbass: im being honest

And that honesty is why you have to pay for it. Lmao this is the first time a paying custie has said anything like that so I'm a little bitter but jeez. Honesty is not appreciated dude.

(T) guest1210: TURNING JAPANES MAING THE RECTUM CONTRACT TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC TURNING JAPANESE BY THE VAPORS/

EDIT: (T) boobslover287: u looks dam hot bbe show me pigeons

Idk man. Idek anymore. Pigeons????

Rhiiannon
12-29-2013, 02:14 AM
LMFAO "let me lose my anal virginity on came for five dollars" AMEN!!! I get asked that all the time! I realize I'd probably make more if I did anal things. But I am REALLY not comfortable with anything near my anus, thank you.

The best I've gotten are...
Flash your this/that/whatever, and then we go private...
I'll give you x-amount of tokens AFTER you do this show for me...
Flash me your vagina. How much? That's too much, is 20 tokens enough?
What are your Skype prices? (I tell them and I think they're really good prices) What? How about 20 minutes for $17?
Why don't you do what x-model does? She makes a lot of money.
You NEED to do this or that. You HAVE to, to make money! (I don't HAVE to do ANYTHING).

Or when they want a bargain and ask a ridiculously cheap price even though it shows they have like 800 tokens. You can't afford 50 tokens for what I ask? Christ.

Or the guys who are like "I dislike your tattoos. I don't like your earrings (I have stretched ears). Why did you shave the side of your head?" why the fuck are you in here? You saw my picture!

or "I'm waiting to get paid. I'll pay you once my paycheck clears. Can you..." No, I cannot. I'm online mostly every day so I'll still be there when that paycheck clears, don't worry :-)

And the guys offering to pay me with Western Union and say they'll give me like $200. Yeah, okay. If you think I'm THAT dumb...

Rhiiannon
12-29-2013, 02:17 AM
In a Gold Show:

Moron: are you a milf babe
Me: no I'm not)
Moron: No?
Me: imm not a mom.
Moron: Will you be if I ask you to
Moron has logged off
Moron has logged on
Moron: If I ask you to
Me: if you ask me to do what?
Moron: Be a milf


OK let me push some and POP the baby goes out of my vagina! Voila, I'm a mom! You're welcome. Now where they dispose of kids?

Another GS gem:

Idiot: you are beautiful but next time shave <3

Bitch please lol)
LOL

One time a guy asked if my boobs squirted milk. I said no sorry, I've never been pregnant. He said "I can fix that ;) I can get you pregnant." and I was like... no. No thank you. I can play along with pretending to be horny for you, but getting pregnant for you is a whole different story.

Sunnylexie
12-29-2013, 05:02 AM
LOL

One time a guy asked if my boobs squirted milk. I said no sorry, I've never been pregnant. He said "I can fix that ;) I can get you pregnant." and I was like... no. No thank you. I can play along with pretending to be horny for you, but getting pregnant for you is a whole different story.

I utterly hate when guys come up with how hot I would look with a belly. My age is closer to that of a MILF than that of a "babe", so I get this quite often. A few days ago, I had a very unpleasant talk with one of my regs who kept telling me how much he would love it and finally told he'd give me $500 (!) if I got pregnant. Like we were talking about getting a boob job, you know. Like it was just a procedure of inflating your belly, filling your tits with milk and then deflating your belly while making your pussy fit for fisting. The fact I have to explain grown-up men that getting 7+ months pregnant results in giving birth, which is a lifetime commitment and is a decision the woman may be not ready for (financially, psychologically, whatsoever), is really disturbing. Looks like they think we could just leave babies in the maternity clinic or toss them into garbage after we're done being pregnant *shrug*.

justanothercamgirl
12-29-2013, 06:42 AM
Meanwhile in the $1 GS

iamthecenteroftheuniverse: do you have toy for pvt titfuck?

JAC: .....

iamthecenteroftheuniverse: hold up just one tit for yes

justanothercamgirl
12-29-2013, 08:39 AM
Meanwhile in the $1 GS

kingoftheentitled: im willing to go c2c if its possible

luscious sadie
12-29-2013, 09:21 AM
hahaha omg. "hold up one tit if yes"

I wish that there was a smiley where you could shoot yourself in the head.

TattooedBBW
12-29-2013, 12:48 PM
A customer asked me to do stuff with my dog for $50
w.....t......f...... Gross

Renton
12-29-2013, 08:08 PM
nabil84: can i show ur ass bb
me: I don't know nabil, can you?

edit: they keep coming omg

ISAC789: hi
is possible piss me next put a finger in your pussy?

Sunnylexie
12-29-2013, 09:36 PM
Dude: hey u likeplay with water for me!
Me: ?
Dude: bath?
cum with water
Me: I will do it in Pvt.
Dude: ok
IN PVT:
Me *turn the water on and get all ready*: do you want me to stand?
Dude: lay
get better angle
want to see wet pussy
Me: *proceed masturbating with the sprinkler*
Dude: have direct stream?
Me: No, it has no modes *I have a really simple one, no switches or anything*
Dude: under faucet
Me:*honestly try to get my clit under the faucet so that the dude still can see my "wet pussy". I have an old type tub with one faucet sitting on the wall like 1 meter high that you have to spin-switch between the tub and the sink, so it's quite a task. Finally, I manage to perch myself on the tub curb behind the faucet outlet, back pressed into the wall, feet on the opposite sides of the curb. No need to say the maneuver sends water flying everywhere - did I mention I have a laptop with a cam sitting on the washmachine next to the tub and a plug-in studio light about to dive into it (my bathroom is really small)?*

Me: well
I'm supposed to cum now)))?
Dude: trythis, lay dow with head tward cam
slide legs up wall
Me: *Go for it. Direct stream falling on the clit from 1-meter height - ouchee. Not to mention the dude isn't getting to see my pussy, but whatever*

Dude: that nozzle needs some work spitting everywhere
Me: Seriously?! Shall I call the plumber?! *sit up and stare until the dude leaves*

CatBBW
12-30-2013, 05:52 AM
^^^ LMAO at "shall I call the plumber?" !!!

Heather7679
12-31-2013, 12:29 AM
dipshit1979 : hi are you available for a show?
me : yes i am . : )
dipshit1979 : great can i see a pic?
me : all my pics are on my ad. and here on my skype profile
dipshit1979 : where is your ad?
me : where you found my skype name......
dipshit1979 : (crickets chirping..... no response)
me : wow you are seriously a moron. byeeeeeee * BLOCKED *

apryll11
12-31-2013, 04:25 AM
So Im 3min away from logging off and I tell the guy whose been bullshitting or slow moving himself towards a private for the last 5 min to fav me.
His response, Sure, I know it helps you girls out
Me: No it doesn't. The amount of privates and money I bring to the site is what keeps me on the 1st page. Faving me helps you out by letting you know if I'm online or not.

If all my freeloaders and squatters gave my $1 every time they came into my room, that would help me out. As if a fav keeps my internet or lights on.

Snowy0Star
12-31-2013, 06:40 AM
So Im 3min away from logging off and I tell the guy whose been bullshitting or slow moving himself towards a private for the last 5 min to fav me.
His response, Sure, I know it helps you girls out
Me: No it doesn't. The amount of privates and money I bring to the site is what keeps me on the 1st page. Faving me helps you out by letting you know if I'm online or not.

If all my freeloaders and squatters gave my $1 every time they came into my room, that would help me out. As if a fav keeps my internet or lights on.

it helps ur placement tho part of the placement formula is how many favs u have. just wanted to point that out to u in case u didnt know that.

Vlodina
12-31-2013, 08:44 AM
All the cheap wankers who pull the Scottish card on me. Example: "I'm scottish too bb so you should show me your ass". OMG

Sunnylexie
12-31-2013, 09:07 AM
All the cheap wankers who pull the Scottish card on me. Example: "I'm scottish too bb so you should show me your ass". OMG

I'm from Russia and SM has it blocked, but they still go for it (just get a bit more creative). Like: Hey bb, I live in the USA but my great grandfather on the mother side was 1/3 Russian! *Here comes an obviously Google-translated compliment*. Will you show me your %google-translated or really roughly transcribed bodypart name% please?

audritwo
12-31-2013, 10:10 AM
hi from me babe
hi from me babe
u have facebook?
u have facebook?
cuz u is not gata mt wiggles to delight nois
cuz u is not gata mt wiggles to delight nois
cuz u is not gata mt wiggles to delight nois
cuz u is not gata mt wiggles to delight in
roll over to us please
ass
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us pleaseroll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please
roll over to us please

*Plot twist* this was not in freechat.. this was in a gold show.

h0ttie
12-31-2013, 10:45 AM
idiot: i added u as a favorite now what do i get?

u get me as a favorite loser :D

CourtneyRaine
12-31-2013, 02:37 PM
Apparently bans on naked expire. Some rude as fuck guy I banned months ago just came in my free chat and was able to talk. He didn't get any less annoying since being banned.

Idiot: can u stand up one time pls?
Me: can you tip for requests, please?
Idiot: not get naked just stand
Me: not a ton, just a small tip. i'm not doing shit for any of you until you give me what I want first
Idiot: thats pretty demanding
Me: and you're NOT being demanding?
Idiot: no. just asked
Me: and i just answered
Idiot: i accept your indirect no
Me: [actually, I didn't say no, I said I'd do it for a tip] now tip or get the fuck out
Idiot: sheesh sarcasm and attitude
Idiot: so i guess customers arent always right
Me: customers = people who actually pay
Me: free loaders are not entitled to anything

I proceed to ignore him and talk to other guys while he keeps babbling how he wants to see the car before he drives it, asking if I'm Mexican, what my tattoo says, complaining that I am always wearing the same shirt every time he sees me, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Thank God someone rescued me by taking me private.