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View Full Version : STUPID annoying shit I've heard on cam....



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ShadySailor
03-07-2012, 08:10 PM
"You've been my favorite model forever! But since I have been watching you I have never seen you naked. A tit or an ass flash once in a while but never the full monty. UNTIL LAST NIGHT I caught you in a group show and busted out the credit card as quickly as I could. You are incredibly cute when you get off. You need to do that in public once in a while! Why dont you? You'd get alot more tips. Hope I see you again soon"

....Hmm, why don't you read your message again, because you answered your own question. You busted out the credit card because you REALLY wanted to see me naked. Now, if I did cumshows in public, would you be tipping for them? Or would you be sitting there freeloading off of other's tips, dick in hand? I think I know the answer to that one!

Cammi
03-07-2012, 08:34 PM
So I'm doing a standard dirty bitch private, fingering away while this guy tells me how I'm his cumslut, fuckdoll blah blah blah and then...

"I wish I had your stockings here with me.
It'll be Christmas every day with those stockings."

:O

IsobelWren
03-08-2012, 08:59 AM
I have no problem with those threads being merged but can we pretty please put them someplace else? They are totally ruining what I consider one of the best ongoing threads in Camming Connection! I always read this thread for the lulz, and those lulz become much less funny when you have to wade through a bunch of questions to get to them. The experience turns out to be something like this:

Why do squirrels swim on their back?

"How do I get rid of squirrels?"

"Can squirrels be kept as pets?"

"How big does squirrels get?"

To keep their nuts dry

See what I mean? :-\

We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. This is the thread for stuff that we find annoying. Here's the OP on the thread:

"Here are the dumb ass stupid shit I hear on cam....that's making me hate men...."

It's totally relevant for people to post things anywhere along that vein in here or move anything that fits that into here.

I do understand what you're saying about how it can be confusing when a new thread is moved and displaces posts in the old thread. I'll keep that in mind in the future.

shywebcamgirl
03-08-2012, 09:21 AM
We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. This is the thread for stuff that we find annoying. Here's the OP on the thread:

"Here are the dumb ass stupid shit I hear on cam....that's making me hate men...."

It's totally relevant for people to post things anywhere along that vein in here or move anything that fits that into here.

I do understand what you're saying about how it can be confusing when a new thread is moved and displaces posts in the old thread. I'll keep that in mind in the future.

Fair enough, you know me. I will disagree with one of your decisions but I will always respect it and abide by it because I personally love the stuffing out of ya. Oh yeah, and because you are mod. ;)

Browneyes
03-08-2012, 07:53 PM
Oh I tell you what's the most annyong shit i 've heard on cam..... " BB i want to make you cum" " Do it the way you love it, just enjoy it" and after couple of minutes...the demands keep coming.... BB put this toy there, do this, do that. Oh wait a minute I thought we are doing it my way Not your way...and now...the most annoying shit ....." cum bb, cum,....cum bb for me, cum bb, do it now, cum now....This is the most annoying shit for me, I swear if someone is gonna tell me one more time CUM BB NOW I 'm gonna slap him into another nationality. Can someone explain me what is the big deal about us cumming? It's not like they are doing the job. They don't even see the difference between fake orgasm and real....just arch your back and breath fast and they think you are done.

Incantatious
03-09-2012, 03:36 AM
This is the most annoying shit for me, I swear if someone is gonna tell me one more time CUM BB NOW I 'm gonna slap him into another nationality.

^ Love, love.. I have SO much love for that line.. <3

Vlodina
03-09-2012, 03:49 AM
They guys who come into free chat and ask if I do x, y, z in private. When i tell them that, yes I do, they bloody leave, never to be heard of again? Wtf.

TheBrownFox
03-09-2012, 05:06 AM
aldo101 on AdultWork:


Hi bb.
U have uniform.
Let me see those nice tits.
Fuck that pussy and cum hard for me bb.

1. Learn how to ask nicely.
2. Telling me to "cum hard" doesn't mean that I will. You watch too much porn and are silly enough to think all that shit is real.
3. I'm not changing my outfit for a picky cheapass who wants a really, really fast dildo show that he'll end abruptyly. Come back when you're ready to spend some fucking money.....

lissieBella
03-09-2012, 07:48 AM
last night on camgoals the guys had already tipped to get me naked, suddenly this guys tells me please bb show me your nipples! so i was like wHAT? im naked! i guess he got mad that i didnt reveal to him my imaginary third nipple cause last thing he said before i banned him was I HATE YOU!

CourtneyRaine
03-09-2012, 08:47 AM
Rude asshole: Hey bb can we go pvt?
Me: Of course, boo! I haven't cum all morning, I'd love for you to me my first fuck of the day ;)
Rude asshole: Ok bb let's go private
Me: I'm ready whenever you are
Rude asshole: pvt?
Me: Yep, you just gotta click the button to take me private and we can have some fun together
Rude asshole: come on bb i wana cum for u
Me: Oh my God are you kidding me? If you want to do a private show with me, you have to click on the button to take me private. I have a different interface from you guys, I can't initiate privates, only you guys can.
Rude assholoe: bb let's go pvt
Me: *ignore*
Rude asshole: Fuck you stupid NIGGER
Me: *BLOCK*

loveshooks
03-09-2012, 12:59 PM
(this is an entire conversation copy/paste, so I'm not omitting any actual opening pleasantries or anything with this charmer)

asshat: I have a girl who does 10 mins for $15, what discount will I get from you
me: (nothing)
asshat: anyone home??? i have a gilr who's doing 10 for $15, what will u give me?
me: nothing
asshat: ???
me: no discounts, I'm not walmart
asshat: byyyye

(a few mins later)...

same asshat: I like you, are you free now?
asshat: I want a show
asshat: I want to buy a show
me: on principle alone you don't deserve an orgasm, peace
asshat: I want to buy a show
me: (are you fucking kidding me??)

I love my ignore button :heartbeat

CourtneyRaine
03-09-2012, 01:14 PM
Ooh, this happened to me two days ago:

BF wannabe: hi honey, i don't have any money to do a show with you
Me: Okay, well, you probably don't want to advertise that since this is a PAY site
BF wannabe: can we just get to know each other?we could start a real relationship
Me: No, we can't. I'm not here for a relationship, I'm here to have fun on cam.
BF wannabe: you seem like such a nice person i just want to know the real you
Me: Thanks? But like I said I'm not here for all that.
BF wannabe: okay let's just get to know each other, we can have a deep connection
Me: I am no longer engaging in this conversation with you. *proceed to ignore*
BF wannabe: can't you just give me your mobile number so we can talk?
Me: What the-? *block*

Lol and this morning while sitting in free chat in a cami and panties a viewer I have never seen before actually said, "Can I offer you my jacket? I can't stand you showing off your body to bad people who are watching you with bad eyes." Lmfao! Yeah dude, you totally didn't come on this website to watch me with "bad eyes" (whatever that means!), I know you really came here just to offer me your fantastic e-jacket to shield me from the eyes of all the horny men out there. Okay.

TheBrownFox
03-09-2012, 02:13 PM
BF wannabe: can't you just give me your mobile number so we can talk?




Tell him your phone number is 1-800-GET-A-CLUE!!! :P

Timor
03-09-2012, 05:06 PM
Cheapfuck: hey bb will you voxer me for half hour for my last 20 tokens?
Me: you seriously want me to walkie-talkie you with my phone for a half hour, for $1.00.
Cheapfuck: yes bb
Me: lolololololololol

roast
03-10-2012, 03:58 AM
1. "you wanna get in porn?"

yes! embarking on a career in porn with grammar-challenged freeloaders using free email accounts who wont even pay to even see if Id even be good at porn sounds like a fantastic idea! and me being in the sex industry of course means I dont know how to do it myself, so tell me dear freeloaders who sends unsolicited msgs and emails --- what kind of lazy trafficker are you?

Pimping isnt supposed to be easy so at least show some effort, goddamn.



2. dear studio who tweeted me trying to get me to sign up with them: LOL

ElianaIsis
03-10-2012, 04:55 AM
Message I got on SM from a guy who never got a show from me or I ever recall being in my chat. Made me LOL Tonight is the night That my lips meet yours in kiss . It is night that pull you in my body as hold in my arms to night. It the night that my finger tips go up down sexy body unzping unbutton pulling of your pretty cloths as my tongue dart in out lips mouth as kissing you. To night is the night that feel tip my tongue licking slowly back forth over top your nipples. To night is the night you feel my mouth slide over hard nipples suck them in out my mouth to night. To night is time day gone find my face between legs lay on your bed in bed room watch my face in between legs feel my tongue slide between pussy lips lick between them with tip my tongue. To night is gone be night feel me licking sucking on your clit well coulp my fingers slide in out your pussy. To night is night gone lick suck finger fuck your pretty pussy untill make cum my face to night. To night is the night that watch suck my hard dick in out pretty face as lay in middle your bed to night. To night the might when feel lips mouth slide up down my throbbing hard cock. To night is the night that I between legs hold them part with my hands body face you between your legs laying on your back watch me pump pump my hard cock in tight pussy untill make cum on bed to night. To night the night your climb on top my body ride ride ride on top my hard cock untill cum all over it to night. To night is the night your on all fours I am behind you hold on your hips thrusting my hard cock again and again in pussy my balls smack in pussy drain all of my cum as cum with you to night. To night is naughty your wet dream passion come true..XOXOXO

Did anybody else imagine this in some little smokey coffee house setting with the guy at a microphone with his knitted scarf artistically draped (with fringe) and a bongo drum beat being played behind him slowly by a guy in a beret? Then we're all supposed to snap instead of clap for the 60-70's style freeword poetry?

ElianaIsis
03-10-2012, 05:51 AM
"Will you give birth on cam?"

Yeah BB... I am going to take my computer to the hospital, hope they have decent internet, and leave it streaming until I am ready to push then hope I get a private show at the exact time I am pushing my baby out. Yep, totally gonna do that.

Tell them that would be child p*rn. (didn't want google search)

HighHeelHottie
03-11-2012, 08:11 PM
Idiot: what do you want with customer

Me: have some fun in private ;-)


Idiot: and meet perhaps men?

Me: no

Idiot: give reasons

*BLOCK*

LaceyCummings
03-11-2012, 08:28 PM
nenuphar: what do you want with customer

Me: have some fun in private ;-)


nenuphar: and meet perhaps men?

Me: no

nenuphar: give reasons

*BLOCK*

Oh my god so good!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing. I really do hate it when they ask "why?" Why anything. I never, ever answer. Makes me feel like I'm dealing with a 2 year-old. If they want something and I say no, they can either move on to another topic of discussion, or the conversation is over. There is no 3rd option where I explain myself to someone who isn't going to give me money, lol.
This also reminds me of the dudes who ask "What do you like to do in pvt?" You know what I like? Customers who don't ask too many stupid questions.

neliana
03-11-2012, 08:35 PM
Idiot in free " if i guess the color of your panties will u show me pussy"

Me "no you need to go prvt for that"

Idiot "booooo"

I got taken exclusive almost right after that..so ha! Lol. This isn't a guessing game or something, PAY if you want me to do something for you! Sounds so simple and yet so many guys don't get it 'sigh'

CurvySweet
03-12-2012, 03:20 AM
Here we go again. My point exactly trying to make women feel bad.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2113443/Why-mother-work-80-hour-week-These--insist-families-cope-price-paying.html

Why should mothers feel bad for having that drive to do a job there love??

Cammi
03-12-2012, 07:45 AM
Guy: Hey bb how ru CAN I SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL ASS PLZ?
Me: Ok, 1) can you please turn your caps lock off? You're yelling at me and I don't like it. 2) I don't do anything for free, if you want to see my ass you need to tip me some gold.
Guy: ok sorry
*Guy has tipped $1.00 GOLD*
Me: *Godammit, I keep forgetting to put a price on gold flashes*
Me: Ok, 1 gold isn't much so it literally gets you a flash
Me: *swings butt in the general area of cam, swings it away*
Guy: YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME MORE THAN THAT
Guy: IT'S NOT FAIR, I PAID 1 GOLD AND I SHOULD GET TO SEE ASS OTHER GIRLS DO IT FOR FREE

I was just about to tell him I don't give a shit what other girls do when my internet disconnected. Oh well.

Rosemary Rabbit
03-12-2012, 10:05 AM
-----

Incantatious
03-12-2012, 06:01 PM
I get this at least once every night:

Jizmbrain: are u hairy

Me: Very. I never trim or shave

Jizmbrain: can't tell from looking at u

Me: That's because I have underwear on


Someone needs to explain to these gentlemen that the purpose of underwear is to conceal one's genitalia, and that if I wear something over my vagina for example - as jaw-droppingly astounding and frankly ridiculous as it may sound - that means you cannot see my vagina. It's incredible. Perhaps these people are really aliens, watching me perform from their special home planet, Ignorwankamathoz, in which invisibility cloaks were long invented before the miracles of nylon or silk...

You mean you CAN'T see that my pussy is hairy whilst I'm wearing underwear which conceals that very part?! Well... I'll be just fucked.

Is your cock hard bb? I can't tell from looking at your screen name.

Rosemary Rabbit
03-12-2012, 07:36 PM
-----

Aurora_Sunset
03-12-2012, 07:43 PM
Someone needs to explain to these gentlemen that the purpose of underwear is to conceal one's genitalia, and that if I wear something over my vagina for example - as jaw-droppingly astounding and frankly ridiculous as it may sound - that means you cannot see my vagina.

Bahaha! Maybe they think that because you have hairy pussy, you should be hairy all over? As though they think pussy hair doesn't grow on girls who don't have man-hair all over their chests. ::)

emskiness
03-13-2012, 05:54 AM
"Open breasts, bb." In free chat, of course.

I beg of you dearly, how does one "open breasts"? ::)

Haha MistyRose I get that one a lot too! And yes, same shit. Omg, soooo glad I found this site. This forum is wicked! I'm glad I'm not the only one who men piss off. I'm new to this and posted a thread before about LiveJasmin. The Free chat room is evil, and I do the non-nude category. When I get taken to PVT chat, it's always "please bb, just for me..." Yes, I've had it all, and I've worked that site now only 2 days.

I've had people con me too. We are "admin", we are "affiliates" of LiveJasmin. I even had a seventeen year old ask me why I wasn't performing. Ummmm, not only are you a minor but you do realise THIS SHIT IS NOT FREE!!

WHY DO MEN JUST NOT GET THAT??!?!?! I ALWAYS SAY "I DON'T INTERFERE WITH YOUR JOB" WHEN THEY TRY TO BULLSHIT ME.

And yes, I've had guys post next to their name <----Multi-Private chat----> "bb u are in multi-pvt chat... bb u need to perform... bb we are paying u now... bb im going to complain if u don't..."

do thye think just cos I'm new im fricking retarded? Geez...

HighHeelHottie
03-13-2012, 10:20 AM
Oh my god so good!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing. I really do hate it when they ask "why?" Why anything. I never, ever answer. Makes me feel like I'm dealing with a 2 year-old. If they want something and I say no, they can either move on to another topic of discussion, or the conversation is over. There is no 3rd option where I explain myself to someone who isn't going to give me money, lol.
This also reminds me of the dudes who ask "What do you like to do in pvt?" You know what I like? Customers who don't ask too many stupid questions.

Lol, exactly! And this guy pissed me off even more 'cause he tells me "Give reasons" like I'm a child and he's demanding that I answer him. I can tolerate the "why" guys better than the ones who demand me to make a list of reasons. I really hate guys who come on cam sites thinking that girls are just going to willining meet them. They must think they are the ONLY ones who ever ask us to meet them.

They only come on looking to meet for 1 of 2 reasons: 1) They want to fuck for money or 2) They want a girlfriend. If #1 is their reason: they are looking for someone who will fuck them for $100 for 8 hours, because you know damn well they've looked for escorts in their area, and aren't able to afford them. Or they will promise some very high amount, and then for whatever girl falls for it, he will think of a way to scam her out of the money (not putting the right amount in the envelope, showing up and saying they don't have the full amount, acting like they're going to pay afterwards, then dip). If #2 is their reason, they're so fucking ugly, or so fucking weird that no hot girls will give them the time of day. Either way, no guy who is looking to do anything but take my private, is attractive to me, because it's a big red flag that something is wrong with them (either cheap, creepy, or ugly).

Decalyn
03-14-2012, 08:51 AM
"OMG you didn't look that pregnant 2 minutes ago!"

.......

*facedesk*


I wanted so badly to reply with something along the lines of "It moves. It's a fetus, not a paperweight."

http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/h/thatsgreatplz.png?1

CourtneyRaine
03-14-2012, 02:31 PM
Customer #1: I'm looking for an escort
Me: This is not an escort site, if you want to play with me we gotta do it on cam.
Customer leaves.

(an hour later)

Customer #2: I'm looking for a soulmate
Me: This is not a dating site, I doubt you are going to find your soulmate on this site, this is a cam site.
Customer leaves.

Where the FUCK are the guys who come to a CAM SITE actually looking for a CAM SHOW?! Please? Can somebody explain this to me??? I had only 7 shows in 3 hours this morning because 90% of the guys in my room either wanted to be my fuck buddy or my boyfriend, but hardly anyone just wanted to do a regular ol' cam show. Fml. So Over It!

Timor
03-14-2012, 02:53 PM
A regular told me on the customer sign-up page that they're encouraged to ask us for our numbers and personal information, while we models are told to never ever disclose our personal info. >:( I knew mfc markets itself as some sort of a dating site but I didn't actually know that they encouraged customers to actually try and date us. Even a little consistency between what's told to customers and what's told to us would be nice.
Mfc is starting to irritate me.

Browneyes
03-15-2012, 06:17 PM
Today in pvt: Member: BB can you stuff your pussy wiht panties?
me: sure bb:)
after few mins of play with panties still stuffed in my pussy..
member: BB can you put beads in your pussy too?
me pulling panties out
member: no no no bb leave the panties inside and stuff some beads in and push them in with toy
member: can you put two toys in your pussy?
o.O

At that moment i lost it...i usually say something nice and avoid doing it or offer something else, but i m getting PMS and everyone and everything is annoying so i told him
" Are you fucking joking...this is a pussy not a fucking bottomless pit."

MissEgo
03-16-2012, 09:30 AM
A regular told me on the customer sign-up page that they're encouraged to ask us for our numbers and personal information, while we models are told to never ever disclose our personal info. >:( I knew mfc markets itself as some sort of a dating site but I didn't actually know that they encouraged customers to actually try and date us. Even a little consistency between what's told to customers and what's told to us would be nice.
Mfc is starting to irritate me.

That gives you the perfect opportunity to sell that information, imo. FAKE info to keep yourself safe. But still.

roast
03-16-2012, 12:33 PM
My Name is Mercy Cooks, permit me to inform you my interest of going into business relationship with you.

As I have inherited the sum of USD 6.5m from my late father who was recently poisoned by his brothers due to his wealth.

I have the intention of investing this sum with your care and supervision in your country, am willing to offer you 10% of the total money for your humble assistant.

Contact me on this my private email.
Mercy Cooks


^this was not an email btw, but a chat msg he carefully copypasta-ed. lol. He spams elsewhere (http://www.aussiev8.com.au/members-lounge/47991-aussie-v8-scam.html)according to the imlive forums he is spamming ppl with it. The 419 scammers have gone.... pornographic

CourtneyRaine
03-16-2012, 01:35 PM
My Name is Mercy Cooks, permit me to inform you my interest of going into business relationship with you.

As I have inherited the sum of USD 6.5m from my late father who was recently poisoned by his brothers due to his wealth.

I have the intention of investing this sum with your care and supervision in your country, am willing to offer you 10% of the total money for your humble assistant.

Contact me on this my private email.
Mercy Cooks


^this was not an email btw, but a chat msg he carefully copypasta-ed. lol. He spams elsewhere (http://www.aussiev8.com.au/members-lounge/47991-aussie-v8-scam.html)according to the imlive forums he is spamming ppl with it. The 419 scammers have gone.... pornographic

Hahahahahaha! Omfg, that is just priceless :D

lissieBella
03-16-2012, 03:21 PM
My Name is Mercy Cooks, permit me to inform you my interest of going into business relationship with you.

As I have inherited the sum of USD 6.5m from my late father who was recently poisoned by his brothers due to his wealth.

I have the intention of investing this sum with your care and supervision in your country, am willing to offer you 10% of the total money for your humble assistant.

Contact me on this my private email.
Mercy Cooks


^this was not an email btw, but a chat msg he carefully copypasta-ed. lol. He spams elsewhere (http://www.aussiev8.com.au/members-lounge/47991-aussie-v8-scam.html)according to the imlive forums he is spamming ppl with it. The 419 scammers have gone.... pornographic

OMG cant believe now they are doing this scam on adult webcammers as well. makes you wonder how many people actually fall for this i mean if nobody did they wouldnt do it at all anymore right?

HighHeelHottie
03-17-2012, 11:48 AM
Idiot: nipple flash=pvt
Me: $5 gold=nipple flash
Idiot: too much money, bye!

Ok, so your dumb ass was going to take me private at $3.89/min, but you can't even afford $5?

Cammi
03-17-2012, 01:04 PM
Dumbass: Sorry, I just noticed the cost. $50 for 10 min show
Me: Well yeah, this is a hot shit body, you can't see it for free
Dumbass: I did last night ;)
Me: *BAN*

MistyRose
03-17-2012, 04:24 PM
Gem #1

*mid show*

Him: "Do you have any toys? Big toys?"
Me: "No, sorry, hun! "
Him: "nothing?"
Him: "how about a deodorant bottle? or something?"

A deodorant bottle? Or something? Like..anything? How about I grab a jumbo bottle of shampoo from the bathroom and try that first...and if it isn't enough, squeeze in a bottle of foundation and maybe an apple from the kitchen?

Gem #2

Upon showing the guy my tits, he says:

Him: "mmm they are huge! just like my mommas!"
Me: "I'm sorry honey, I don't talk about that. :)"
Him: "mmm thats ok, its a compliment"

Aight. Look, I don't think it's wrong to fantasize about that, I'm just not comfortable acting out that particular fantasy. But, uh, trying to tell me it's an innocent compliment? It's not the kind I'd like to hear if I'm on a date. In fact, it'd probably send me off in a hurry. I wonder how his dates end, ho-hum...

Gem #3

*in private*

Me: "Hello!"
Him: "Hi, do you have any designer heels?"
Me: "Uhh, sorry but no, only regular heels."

*leaves*

Oh, pardon me! I forgot about my 3 pairs of Louboutins in the closet! Come baaaack!

Gem #4

*in private*

Me: "Hi honey! What would you like to do?" (with a huge grin, naturally)
Him: "Hi, looking for a whore to fuck tonight."

.....and it didn't occur to you to check out escort ads perhaps? It's like going to a liquor store and telling the guy you want to buy a drill. They don't sell it? But you really want a drill! Go to a hardware store? Noo, I really want you to sell me a drill...here in the liquor store, c'monnnn, c'monnnnn, c'monnnnn, I know you could if you wanted to! Jack Daniels? I don't want liquor, I want a drill, come on, sell me a drill...you don't sell drills? Well it doesn't matter, I'm sure you could sell me one! To me? Just me?

maryjaynexo
03-17-2012, 06:12 PM
This takes the cake, and is pretty self explanatory. It happened over the course of half an hour or so. I'm not sure what to think, but damn was it entertaining!

Him: Stupid apple

Him: The stupid mother fucking apple through the fucking bs again
Yeah that aholio, Hes so purple and tan

Him: i crunched his hairs all over the place, he slept with my pillow again

Him: Grabbing the rooster was a bad idea said thomas

Him: None of ur business
apple told me i cant tell
he hurted me
U down for some sauce of apple?
I says no
he bing me real good

Him: she sat on the dolphin again, dammit
u know

Him: dont play games

Him: rogue agent

Him: U know too much
MS jason bourne

Him: get out now

Him: no, the pickle man

Him: the dude abides

Him: the dude abides

Him: dammit fucking apple and his asshole round bed and dragon ears of fairy unicorns!

Him: u dont fuck with unicorns, they eat lime juice

Him: they like pepper but they hate cinnamon
duh

Him: tell me now
Him: FLAME ON

Him: NO ROCK
FLAME FLAME
JACKPOT
u know ur tricks
smoke and mirrors wont hide it from me
im to u
im onto u

Him: I will no goto grettles house
i dont believe ur stories

Him: Crap, i ate the candy

Him: fucking bread crumbs, apple fucked us again
he eat hole of ur crub

Him: crum
JACKPOT
JACKPOT
FLAME ON

Him: We are FWaming Dwagon!

Him: We are Fwaming Dwagon!
100,000,000 dollars
I dont have the tivo

Him: Im a brother playing a brother whose playing another brother

Him: Ice age 2 eats monkey tails
Pears?

Him has logged off

lissieBella
03-17-2012, 06:29 PM
This takes the cake, and is pretty self explanatory. It happened over the course of half an hour or so. I'm not sure what to think, but damn was it entertaining!

Him: Stupid apple

Him: The stupid mother fucking apple through the fucking bs again
Yeah that aholio, Hes so purple and tan

Him: i crunched his hairs all over the place, he slept with my pillow again

Him: Grabbing the rooster was a bad idea said thomas

Him: None of ur business
apple told me i cant tell
he hurted me
U down for some sauce of apple?
I says no
he bing me real good

Him: she sat on the dolphin again, dammit
u know

Him: dont play games

Him: rogue agent

Him: U know too much
MS jason bourne

Him: get out now

Him: no, the pickle man

Him: the dude abides

Him: the dude abides

Him: dammit fucking apple and his asshole round bed and dragon ears of fairy unicorns!

Him: u dont fuck with unicorns, they eat lime juice

Him: they like pepper but they hate cinnamon
duh

Him: tell me now
Him: FLAME ON

Him: NO ROCK
FLAME FLAME
JACKPOT
u know ur tricks
smoke and mirrors wont hide it from me
im to u
im onto u

Him: I will no goto grettles house
i dont believe ur stories

Him: Crap, i ate the candy

Him: fucking bread crumbs, apple fucked us again
he eat hole of ur crub

Him: crum
JACKPOT
JACKPOT
FLAME ON

Him: We are FWaming Dwagon!

Him: We are Fwaming Dwagon!
100,000,000 dollars
I dont have the tivo

Him: Im a brother playing a brother whose playing another brother

Him: Ice age 2 eats monkey tails
Pears?

Him has logged off

OMG wtf

housewench
03-17-2012, 06:49 PM
^ w t f-ing f?

THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T DO MUSHROOMS OR ACID AND THEN INTERNET, KIDS

(( Well, that and coming across things like guro or yugop ))

maryjaynexo
03-17-2012, 08:01 PM
Yeeep. I was posting in Chatzy laughing my ass off while it was happening. Good times :D

Bigsoftandwet1
03-18-2012, 10:18 AM
Gem #1

*mid show*

Him: "Do you have any toys? Big toys?"
Me: "No, sorry, hun! "
Him: "nothing?"
Him: "how about a deodorant bottle? or something?"

A deodorant bottle? Or something? Like..anything? How about I grab a jumbo bottle of shampoo from the bathroom and try that first...and if it isn't enough, squeeze in a bottle of foundation and maybe an apple from the kitchen?

Gem #2

Upon showing the guy my tits, he says:

Him: "mmm they are huge! just like my mommas!"
Me: "I'm sorry honey, I don't talk about that. :)"
Him: "mmm thats ok, its a compliment"

Aight. Look, I don't think it's wrong to fantasize about that, I'm just not comfortable acting out that particular fantasy. But, uh, trying to tell me it's an innocent compliment? It's not the kind I'd like to hear if I'm on a date. In fact, it'd probably send me off in a hurry. I wonder how his dates end, ho-hum...

Gem #3

*in private*

Me: "Hello!"
Him: "Hi, do you have any designer heels?"
Me: "Uhh, sorry but no, only regular heels."

*leaves*

Oh, pardon me! I forgot about my 3 pairs of Louboutins in the closet! Come baaaack!

Gem #4

*in private*

Me: "Hi honey! What would you like to do?" (with a huge grin, naturally)
Him: "Hi, looking for a whore to fuck tonight."

.....and it didn't occur to you to check out escort ads perhaps? It's like going to a liquor store and telling the guy you want to buy a drill. They don't sell it? But you really want a drill! Go to a hardware store? Noo, I really want you to sell me a drill...here in the liquor store, c'monnnn, c'monnnnn, c'monnnnn, I know you could if you wanted to! Jack Daniels? I don't want liquor, I want a drill, come on, sell me a drill...you don't sell drills? Well it doesn't matter, I'm sure you could sell me one! To me? Just me?

omg i always love ur comments.. i be crackin up lol

IsobelWren
03-18-2012, 12:19 PM
Dude: Show tits
Me: You can see tits in the show!
Dude: Lame, this is so lame.
Me: Then go somewhere else, it won't hurt my feelings. Go, be happy!
Dude: Fuck you
Me: You wish you could fuck me
(And then I click his name to block him, but my GS timer pops up so I'm stuck watching what he writes and can see nothing else)
Dude: You're a nasty whore
Dude: Slut
Other dude: Yeah, lol!

*sigh* yet more examples of the, "I love you! Plz bb! I love you! I love you! BB plzzzzzz?! ....no?! Well you're a stupid poo poo head! I never wanted you anyway!"

Like you said, they're so predictable.

Caramel_BBW
03-18-2012, 12:44 PM
Him: "Hi, looking for a whore to fuck tonight."

.....and it didn't occur to you to check out escort ads perhaps? It's like going to a liquor store and telling the guy you want to buy a drill. They don't sell it? But you really want a drill! Go to a hardware store? Noo, I really want you to sell me a drill...here in the liquor store, c'monnnn, c'monnnnn, c'monnnnn, I know you could if you wanted to! Jack Daniels? I don't want liquor, I want a drill, come on, sell me a drill...you don't sell drills? Well it doesn't matter, I'm sure you could sell me one! To me? Just me?

LMAO I love you!

IsobelWren
03-18-2012, 12:47 PM
Him: do u have a boyfriend?
Me: Aw hun. I don't think that has any bearing on our time here. We can have fun no matter what!
Him: does! I want 2b yr boyfriend.
Me: *laughs friendly-like* Who says I want to be your girlfriend?
Him: otherwise u wouldnt b on here
Me: *starting to get annoyed* So I'm here just waiting for you to come find me and be my boyfriend?
Him: yes

some time passes, I talk to other people, he lurks

Him: so how about it?
Me: *forgot who he was* How about what?
Him: go out with me.
Me: You don't know where I live and I will never tell you.
Him: i do. i googled you.
Me: *chuckles* You're not starting this relationship on a very good foot. You're already a creepy stalker.
Him: IM NOT! IM YR PRINCE! I WILL SAVE YOU! MY WOMAN WILL NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN!

another reg: woah buddy. You're scary

Me: *annoyed, yet amused* So you've met me here, yet once I become "yours", like a piece of property, you'll "save" me and pay all my bills so that I don't have to work.
Him: no u'll get a nice rispectable job like a secretary or waitress or something

For some reason I find this hilarious and laugh so hard I tear up enough to run my mascara

Him: whtever. yr a bitch anyway
*leaves*

Same reg as before: I dunno. I think you should have dated him. He was a real peach.
We go back and forth for several minutes with names to describe what a great guy he would have been, "a mensh" "a diamond" etc until I was taken to excl

Caramel_BBW
03-18-2012, 12:53 PM
OMG I hate guys like this. I love the ones who claim they will basically make you a princess, pay all your bills, rub your feet every night and you'll never have to worry about a thing again....

Yet refuse to pay one red cent to prove they have access to such assets. Come on dude. If you were actually dating me you would at least have to pay the dinner. Let's skip the middle man and you can watch me screw myself mmkay?

IsobelWren
03-18-2012, 01:00 PM
Have you guys gotten the guy on SM who says, "The sexiest part of you is your brain"? He then says a few more things about your brain, always the exact same things every time he shows up. He tries to get you to engage with him, talk to him about your brain, like the physical organ itself, not your mind. If you ignore him long enough he'll start on about your heart. Always brain, then heart, as though he can physically see them and is jerking it (in free chat) thinking about the organs themselves. If you don't engage he starts entering things at an ever increasing pace.

I tried to get him to go excl to talk about it but he never responded to anything I said if it didn't include the word "brain" or "heart". He was like a well spoken spambot. I used to think it was funny b/c it was just so weird and repetitive. Once I realized he'll never take me pvt and it was just cluttering up my feed I banned him.

IsobelWren
03-18-2012, 01:01 PM
That gives you the perfect opportunity to sell that information, imo. FAKE info to keep yourself safe. But still.

ROFLOL I do that. If they insist long enough I tell them a fake name. A new one every time.