View Full Version : STUPID annoying shit I've heard on cam....
Mlle_Mystere
06-26-2012, 04:27 PM
Precious moment in private - if anything this should be under HILARIOUS shit I've heard on cam. I cad the cam zoomed in on my pussy, as he requested, and I get this message:
hummmmmmmmmmm j'aimerais bien gouter ton sirop d'erable
Translation: mmmmm, I'd like to taste your maple syrup baby.
the shy girl
06-26-2012, 05:43 PM
Cheapass: Why are your prices so high bb? Lower it in half and I'll go pvt :D
Cheapass: plz bb for me
Me: GET OUT MY CHAT ROOM!
You're fucking kidding me right?! Out of all the STUPID annoying shit I've heard so far, this one irks me the most. If your boss cut your paycheck in half, would you still work?! Hell no! Don't act like you're special, you're not getting special treatment.
Okay rant over!
Tsani
06-26-2012, 06:34 PM
This was all within one hour today:
freeguest: show pussy bb
me: i will do a pussy flash for 20 tokens like it says on my board. make a members account and buy some tokens.
freeguest: spread those legs and show your pussy
me: this is your last warning, one more time begging and i'm kicking you out.
freeguest: show me that big fat cunt!
me: *kicks freeguest*
douchebag: hey fatty!
me: ooh! look guys, our first ban of the day! bye douchebag! *bans douchebag* weeeeeee! that was fun!
dicktard: will u do a show with your dog?
me: no i can not do a show with my dog because i do not have a dog. and even if i did have a dog i wouldn't do a show with him because that's gross, illegal, and against the rules.
other members and guests: eew man that's gross!
dicktard: what about just licking?
me: no dude that's nasty and you're getting kicked now byeeee!
*freeguest comes back*
freeguest: I thought you banned me
me: nope, just kicked, but i will be happy to ban you if that's what you want.
*freeguest leaves.*
Incantatious
06-26-2012, 07:49 PM
douchebag: can i see that bush sweetie you may get 20
me: if you tip 20, yes!
douchebag: then you get nothing
5
4
3
me: wtf?
douchebag: 2
1
douchebag logged off
Oh yay I flash my bush and it'll probably be for FREE?! Well how insanely exciting and tempting!
The loss is YOURS, dickhead. Not mine.
I'm not a flashy fucking arcade game.
TheBrownFox
06-26-2012, 08:14 PM
Half of these fucktards talk like they're middle school dropouts, and you can't even understand what the fuck they're saying. LMAO...
Tsani
06-26-2012, 08:19 PM
Oh, and also during the magical hour that I posted about above, I had an "open ass bb" I told him I only do requests for tips and i don't know how to "open ass". he said "lame!" then left. byeeee!!!
IsobelWren
06-27-2012, 07:31 AM
Precious moment in private - if anything this should be under HILARIOUS shit I've heard on cam. I cad the cam zoomed in on my pussy, as he requested, and I get this message:
hummmmmmmmmmm j'aimerais bien gouter ton sirop d'erable
Translation: mmmmm, I'd like to taste your maple syrup baby.
Madam, you are one sexy, sexy pancake. Perhaps he was into waffle roleplay, "Mmmm, butter up that thick stack for me baby!"
Well no, if the syrup was yours you'd be like, Aunt Jemima. Porno syrup lady! The bottle is a little unwieldy because the syrup flows from between her legs.
In related news, taking a large supplement of the herb Fenugreek, which is really good for pregnant ladies, will make nearly everything that comes out of your body smell like maple syrup. My friend Carol takes it when she's pregnant (which is kinda frequently, actually. She's a professional surrogate). The undertone of her breath, her armpits, her sweat and -she informs me- her pee all smell distinctly maple-y. When she's about a month or two pregnant it's quite pleasant to be next to her in yoga class.
Vlodina
06-27-2012, 07:55 AM
Over the course of a few days, in a camsite inbox:
Idiot: you going to lets is feel what that vagina feels like babe?
Me: Let you feel what my vagina feels like? lol
Idiot: lol yep, I wanna experience it, is that a problem
Me:Hate to disappoint, but you cannot meet it in person.
Idiot:oh right, why is that then? So are you just a trick
*********end*****************
I know we get a lot of guys wanting to meet and fuck, but this exchange felt particularly 'special'. ;-)
Milaa
06-27-2012, 09:46 AM
Cheapo: Show ass bb
Me: Okay bb, but you show pp first
Cheapo: But we can only cam2cam in private
Me: well bb, do you want to see that ass or not?
I hate "show something bb" so much that I request "pp" when they say something like that.
Most men just leave my room so I can focus on the men who are willing to actually spend money.
LaceyCummings
06-27-2012, 10:23 AM
"Subject: I like you" This is awesome. I guess it goes without saying at this point that this was not a paying customer.
member1148 <12893704>
Sent: 06-27-2012
To: Me
SUBJECT: I LIKE YOU
hi
do you want to money
i have money
i want you i need fucking you how much
justanothercamgirl
06-27-2012, 12:46 PM
Cheapo: Show ass bb
Me: Okay bb, but you show pp first
Cheapo: But we can only cam2cam in private
Me: well bb, do you want to see that ass or not?
I hate "show something bb" so much that I request "pp" when they say something like that.
Most men just leave my room so I can focus on the men who are willing to actually spend money.
This is so freaking brilliant. I love it!
Vlodina
06-27-2012, 01:06 PM
I love when guys tell me that they love my name. I want to say, yeah I chose it myself. 😜
Mlle_Mystere
06-27-2012, 01:39 PM
Madam, you are one sexy, sexy pancake. Perhaps he was into waffle roleplay, "Mmmm, butter up that thick stack for me baby!"
Well no, if the syrup was yours you'd be like, Aunt Jemima. Porno syrup lady! The bottle is a little unwieldy because the syrup flows from between her legs.
In related news, taking a large supplement of the herb Fenugreek, which is really good for pregnant ladies, will make nearly everything that comes out of your body smell like maple syrup. My friend Carol takes it when she's pregnant (which is kinda frequently, actually. She's a professional surrogate). The undertone of her breath, her armpits, her sweat and -she informs me- her pee all smell distinctly maple-y. When she's about a month or two pregnant it's quite pleasant to be next to her in yoga class.
I literally loled. New cam name: sexy pancake. Guess I better work on getting my whole body flat lol.
If ever I get into escorting, I'll take a bunch of that stuff and go find this guy :P
AliceFun
06-28-2012, 04:03 AM
So this odd guy came into my freechat to say hello, we had a few privates where he'll just enjoy to chit-chat (text) for a few minutes then he leaves. Never heard my voice, last evening he said "just online to say Hi", me: OK, nice, bla bla
So i decided to ask him about my stream quality, sound and all having in mind i got cut off live session before he came in my room, i ask things, he gives some answers and then as i wanted to talk faster i just started talking, he heard my voice (i have a foreign accent), i talk and ask things then he comes up with "are u drunk?"
OMG, this was really insulting comming from a guy i had a few privates with and seemed kinda nice even odd. It got me upset, asked why he believes i could be drunk, he said "oh, maybe cause is the 1st time i hear u talking" but hey, i told the moron the 1st time we had private i am not native english speaker...
He left after he realized he pissed me off, i am really pissed off, i never drink and never did, bleah! He could tell anything but to say i act, look and talk like a drunk person is too much for me :(
KimKlass
06-28-2012, 05:12 AM
"Is Kim your real name?"
o_O Yeah dude, I totally use my real name on cam. WTF is wrong with you?
"Where do you live?"
My usual reply: "In the Internet, actually; I'm a hologram. Like Tupac at Coachella."
cherryblossomsinspring
06-28-2012, 05:51 AM
Okay, so I signed up for a site and did one show a couple of weeks ago. No privates, no tips at all, just a few idle chit-chatters and two or three people professing their passionate interest in actually meeting up with me. I deleted that profile a couple of days ago. Fast forward to tonight; one of the viewers IMed me on Skype talking about how "I missed you babe". He tried to convince me to go back to that site, and I said no. This is the last bit of our conversation.
Me: I just don't like having to try and work a new site when I've got one already that works. I only got people idly chatting and trying to meet up with me on <redacted>
Him: some do it for a free show or cause your sexy and some really mean it
Me: Whatever their intentions, I don't meet up with fans or customers, or anyone that I meet online
Him: i know i saw you say that and i was really upset
Him: you seemed really nice
Him: ok nothing free, no idle chitchat, and no meeting you is that right?
Me: Pretty much. I'm a camgirl, not someone looking for friends/romance/whatever.
Him: yea you can find that on your own
Him: can i ask a quastion if you got the time?
Me: Alright
Him: if i order a show anyway after the show we can just talk when you have free time?
Him: i know its against your rules
Me: I don't log onto skype in my free time. If I'm logged on, that means that I'm at my computer and working. Otherwise, I don't have time.
Him: oh there goes my hope of talking to you at all
I blocked him at this point. I don't have the patience to deal with your self-pity and delusions.
Ohh if he said that I would have said "sure". That guy would be waiting forever for "free time". Even the fact that he actually asked was showing that he's too needy.
Classy_Katy
06-28-2012, 09:32 AM
Two in a row today:
Seem to be having an influx of young guys on AW at the moment.
Idiot: need a date
Classy_Katy: is that a question or a statement?
Idiot: treat what u like just need an answer
boomtang007: ?
Me: oh...it was a question but missing the ?
Me: no...this isn't dating site
Idiot: not @ all
Me: I'm not wanting a date thanks
Idiot: cool
Idiot: plz ur sels
Idiot: urself
Idiot: do u like YOUNG COCK?x
Me: I just have old cock at home
Idiot: how bad do u need sum young cock?zx
Me: not very much...
MommieLongLegs
06-28-2012, 10:06 AM
dumbass: lay on your back fully naked and show both feetsoles up on air looking to camera and i go pvt
Caramel_BBW
06-28-2012, 11:02 AM
My usual reply: "In the Internet, actually; I'm a hologram. Like Tupac at Coachella."
OMG I tell guys the same thing when they ask to meet lol "I'm sorry sweetie but I don't really exist. I'm a hologram like Tupac". They usually laugh and like me all the more lol
justanothercamgirl
06-28-2012, 04:36 PM
dumbass: lay on your back fully naked and show both feetsoles up on air looking to camera and i go pvt
This just made me laugh my ass off so damn hard I almost peed! Wow, just wow. The stupid, it burns!
AliceFun
06-28-2012, 05:10 PM
Here goes another one:
Him: need to see them on while you bend over and pull the back of your skirt up, if I like them will go private (was about panties)
Me: ha!
u join pvt then i change
Him: I have a panty fetish and need the right look, cant pay until i know I have the right view
Me: oh fuck off u cheap ass ->blocked
(got pissed off after i was showing him more panties till he decided for the right ones, had to get up and bring them on cam)
KimKlass
06-28-2012, 07:23 PM
OMG I tell guys the same thing when they ask to meet lol "I'm sorry sweetie but I don't really exist. I'm a hologram like Tupac". They usually laugh and like me all the more lol
Damn! I thought I was being original lol. Usually they ask if I can teleport my hologram to their bedroom : /
Classy_Katy
06-29-2012, 08:54 AM
Another couple today:
Previous client who likes to push his luck tried to get me to chat for free on Skype but eventually comes into paid instant message on AW...runs out of credit after 5 minutes and then emails me asking if we can continue on skype...I tell him sorry, can he reload with credit?...he says he can't...I don't reply any further!
Another guy who has only paid for one show before but always comes into free chat in instant message and never paid:
guy: what you been up to?
me: just chatting and shopping etc
guy: buying anything sexy?
me: no, afraid not
guy: pity
guy: you could have lied !
me: I don't like lying lol
guy: pretend then !
me: come into paid chat and I'll lie LOL
guy: ha ha
leaves the room
PrincessLavender
06-30-2012, 05:45 PM
"If I send you a picture of my cock will that cover the gold to get your pics"
No, sorry. Last time I took in a handful of dick pics to pay my electric bill they shut it off.
Jay12
06-30-2012, 05:53 PM
I had king stupid today.
This guy was saying that 'cause of my pregnancy I can't play with dildos anymore. I told him that I had sex earlier this morning, and he got all crazy saying how I'm harming the baby and all sort of crazy BS. Obviously, he got ignored and banned.
PrincessLavender
06-30-2012, 05:57 PM
"Since I'm the only one in here (free chat) can you show me your tits for free"
There was close to 20 people in my room. I've been hearing that a lot lately. I assume it's because so many girls do party chat and they can see how many are in there. I don't ever do party chat.
ThatOneGirl
06-30-2012, 10:30 PM
creepy: wow your slim
me: lol; yes I am
creepy: what size are you
me: like in clothing? I'm a 2
creepy: your breasts
me: 34B
creepy: i thought you would be an A
me: heh; nah; not quite
creepy: small breasts make a girl look younger
He stopped talking after that. o.O
Vanessa_Paws
07-01-2012, 01:33 AM
him: if you snort i go private
me: what?
him: i mean sniff
me: what are you talking about i dont do drugs and wont do them in private
him: sniff your panties and i go private for 10 minutes
newsweet
07-01-2012, 08:50 AM
I had my first ban yesterday!
Fucktard: are you a worthless whore
Me: "Nope! But thanks so much for asking!" **huge smile**
Fucktard: tell me you want my cumload on your face and ill go exclusive
Me: **ignoring him, chatting with someone else in party chat**
Fucktard: no do it now your a whore i wont pay until you degrade yourself
Me: "OO! I get to do my first ban! Let's see if I can figure this out!" **ban**
Me: "Yay!"
**applause from other guys in my room**
I've honestly been looking forward to using my ban-hammer almost as much as I've been looking forward to getting paid and it was everything I'd hoped it would be :-D
Another couple today:
Previous client who likes to push his luck tried to get me to chat for free on Skype but eventually comes into paid instant message on AW...runs out of credit after 5 minutes and then emails me asking if we can continue on skype...I tell him sorry, can he reload with credit?...he says he can't...I don't reply any further!
Another guy who has only paid for one show before but always comes into free chat in instant message and never paid:
guy: what you been up to?
me: just chatting and shopping etc
guy: buying anything sexy?
me: no, afraid not
guy: pity
guy: you could have lied !
me: I don't like lying lol
guy: pretend then !
me: come into paid chat and I'll lie LOL
guy: ha ha
leaves the room
OMG, this KILLED me! hahaha
justanothercamgirl
07-01-2012, 09:43 AM
I've honestly been looking forward to using my ban-hammer almost as much as I've been looking forward to getting paid and it was everything I'd hoped it would be :-D
This truly warms my camgirl heart! Way to rock the banhammer, girl!
neliana
07-01-2012, 05:33 PM
Guy asked me last night "Do I get a discount for being cute?" Wtf? I don't care if you're cute or not! "Cute" doesn't pay my bills ! Plus I don't like c2c much anyway (and I get more nervous when they're cute!) so that just made it even dumber lol.
IsobelWren
07-01-2012, 06:04 PM
Guy asked me last night "Do I get a discount for being cute?" Wtf? I don't care if you're cute or not! "Cute" doesn't pay my bills ! Plus I don't like c2c much anyway (and I get more nervous when they're cute!) so that just made it even dumber lol.
Do you know what would have been hysterical? If you'd said yes, then when you got him in pvt on C2C you went, "ohhhh, noooo, discount doesn't apply"
IsobelWren
07-01-2012, 06:04 PM
Guy asked me last night "Do I get a discount for being cute?" Wtf? I don't care if you're cute or not! "Cute" doesn't pay my bills ! Plus I don't like c2c much anyway (and I get more nervous when they're cute!) so that just made it even dumber lol.
Do you know what would have been hysterical? If you'd said yes, then when you got him in pvt on C2C you went, "ohhhh, noooo, discount doesn't apply"
neliana
07-01-2012, 06:58 PM
Lol I might have actually tried that if it wasn't a pre-booked skype show he was asking about
ThatOneGirl
07-01-2012, 08:58 PM
"I wish i could teach u domme"
This guy has spent the last ten minutes trying to convince me to let him teach me how to be a domme. It's not something that I'm into, so I don't know a WHOLE lot about it, but doesn't teaching your domme kind of defeat the point? Head, meet desk.
I'm quite fond of my girl-next-door, awkward-but-sexy image. It works well for me, and even though it IS more difficult to find paying customers, those customers are AWESOME. I couldn't be a domme if someone paid me a million dollars to try, but for some reason, I keep getting requests for it (even though all of my profiles say I don't offer it).
Classy_Katy
07-01-2012, 10:38 PM
"I wish i could teach u domme"
This guy has spent the last ten minutes trying to convince me to let him teach me how to be a domme. It's not something that I'm into, so I don't know a WHOLE lot about it, but doesn't teaching your domme kind of defeat the point? Head, meet desk.
I'm quite fond of my girl-next-door, awkward-but-sexy image. It works well for me, and even though it IS more difficult to find paying customers, those customers are AWESOME. I couldn't be a domme if someone paid me a million dollars to try, but for some reason, I keep getting requests for it (even though all of my profiles say I don't offer it).
It's exactly the same for me too!
TheBrownFox
07-02-2012, 12:18 AM
The freeloaders on MFC who say "Well since you're about to log off, how 'bout a quick flash before you go?" *rolls eyes*
And when random guys (non-spenders) say "Today is my birthday" and then a minute later they ask "What are you gonna do for me since it's my birthday?"
AngeXx
07-02-2012, 06:48 AM
Do you know what would have been hysterical? If you'd said yes, then when you got him in pvt on C2C you went, "ohhhh, noooo, discount doesn't apply"
hahaha that's the best one I've heard in a while! Love it!!!!
AngeXx
07-02-2012, 06:50 AM
The freeloaders on MFC who say "Well since you're about to log off, how 'bout a quick flash before you go?" *rolls eyes*
And when random guys (non-spenders) say "Today is my birthday" and then a minute later they ask "What are you gonna do for me since it's my birthday?"
One of the first times I was on MFC I got a military guy. Everyone started the whole crap of he's served our country you need to do something for him for free! (which obviously means give us all something for free) I didn't do a thing......needless to say that guy ended up paying for a quick flash, and ended up becoming a regular!
ThatOneGirl
07-02-2012, 01:06 PM
One of the first times I was on MFC I got a military guy. Everyone started the whole crap of he's served our country you need to do something for him for free! (which obviously means give us all something for free) I didn't do a thing......needless to say that guy ended up paying for a quick flash, and ended up becoming a regular!
I love how it's always for someone else's benefit. They're just looking out for him. :-P I've found (most) military guys to be quite pleasant. Glad you found a good one!
Jay12
07-02-2012, 03:25 PM
I love how it's always for someone else's benefit. They're just looking out for him. :-P I've found (most) military guys to be quite pleasant. Glad you found a good one!
They are kinda of a hit or miss sometimes. I can relate to them sometimes (hubby and I are vets), but I hate when they ask for freebies or when they start with BS. They do tend to become regulars...around their pay schedule (1st and 15th).
Glasses
07-02-2012, 05:21 PM
I only get assholes who - I believe - only pretend to be in the military. And they start going on how upset and sad and lonely they are, because they are going back to this and that war zone tomorrow, and seriously go on shits like this trying to make me feel pity them, and trying to persuade me to give them freebies, because they're going away and might be blown up next week yadayada "jus a litl peek bb, to make me happy before I leave" . I seriously don't believe any of these are in the military. I just ignore/kick them. I think I will just tell the next one, if he really thinks he's gonna be blown up, then why does he care if he spends all his money on me now? This is even worse than the birthday guys or the "I was just fired show me ur tits so you make me happy" guys...
JoJoX
07-03-2012, 01:46 AM
today-
idiot: hey bb show ass
me: tip for request please
idiot: show your ass
idiot: can you please show ass?
me can you please tip?
idiot: but i will someday
LaceyCummings
07-03-2012, 03:37 PM
So this guy wants me to domme him and watch him use a toy on his ass. I say that sounds great, so he takes me premium.
I tell him right away that this is a fetish, and we need to be in exclusive.
rickidumbfuck:but i want to show othr girls
rickidumbfuck: in ur chatroom
me: what other girls?
rickidumbfuck: flip ur cam to zoom in on my cam and I show th girls in pvt
rickidumbfuck: m fucking my ass
me: *bewildered for a moment* Oh, I get it...Well, there isn't anyone else in the chat room right now. Other people *could* come in, but then they would be paying by the minute just like you are, and they would want to see ME.
rickidumbfuck: so pvt good
Me: No...we need to go exclusive for this.
So then he takes me exclusive and proceeds to do one of those weird topping-from-the-bottom ass-fucking shows. It's going fine at first, then he brings out this... black broom handle looking thing. This is the first thing he says in over ten minutes of ATM and me berating/encouraging him fully-clothed.
rickidumbfuck: ur going to want to gt anothr modl for this
me: Ummm what are you talking about?
rickidumbfuck: gt th girls
me: What girls? I'm the only one here.
rickidumbfuck: u at hom or studio
Seriously? How does this guy think this works? Even if I was at a studio, he's so entitled he thinks that other models are going to want to stop working their own cam to come participate in his show for free? WTF? Even if that ridiculous fantasy was the case, how do people not understand the concept that we can't just bring any asshole we feel like onto our cam feed without the proper paperwork?
I'm still confused about what he thought was going on in premium chat. I don't know if he thinks other models can see my broadcast, or that there are actually female customers.
He was so stupid it gave me a headache.
CourtneyRaine
07-04-2012, 12:07 AM
This wasn't annoying, just really, really stupid and LOL worthy. So I was dancing with my panties on in free chat and this random guy comes in.
SillyViewer: Mmm I love your full bush
Me: Umm.... I don't have a bush. I shave everything, I don't even leave a landing strip (pulls panties down a bit to reveal a bald pubic mound)
SillyViewer: Sorry, cam's blurry
Me: I don't think so, I have an HD cam
SillyViewer: No, my cam is blurry
Me: Uh, you're the one who's watching my cam. If you have a blurry cam it doesn't change what you see on your screen
(SillyViewer leaves)
Whaaaaat?
Classy_Katy
07-04-2012, 03:40 AM
Today was the first time I encounter that "open" thing on AW:
Idiot: open ass pvt bb
(looking at his words as if they're a totally foreign language, which they are!)
Me: open ass private baby...what does that mean?! (in my most condescending voice)
Leaves the room
Glasses
07-04-2012, 07:13 PM
Normally I'd have blocked him right after saying his first full sentence but it was deader than dead, and at least he gave me something to do for a few minutes.
WTYU has logged on
WTYU: HI BB
*I talk to him*
WTYU has logged off
WTYU has logged on
WTYU: HI U
*I guess he has no sound*
to WTYU: hi wtyu
WTYU: LOOK GOOD TAKE OUT
to WTYU: take out gold if you want to see more
WTYU: HAVE NO MONEY
to WTYU: have no money=have no tits
WTYU: SEE YOUR BOBY
to WTYU: go to work come back when you have money
*kick*
WTYU has logged on
WTYU: HI HOW ARE U
to WTYU: omg
WTYU: OLD U
to WTYU: zomg
WTYU: SEE BOBY
HAVE YOUR NUMBER
want u
to WTYU: OMFG
WTYU: stop play cute girl
*kick*
WTYU has logged on
WYU: hi u
to WTYU: you no give up?
WTYU: :-P no baby
to WTYU: why you no give up?
WTYU: have number
to WTYU: no money no boobs, no numbers no nothing
have money have boobs
WTYU: please please have money get it
came my house
to WTYU: you show 5 gold I show 2 boobs
why I go to your house? so you can show me in person how you have no money?
WTYU: at u came no like
please how mouch
all right baby
see what work it
to WTYU: see wtyu
i ll give you something for free
you will like it
look , now!
*kick*
WTYU has logged on
to WTYU: you see?
WTYU: hi what?
to WTYU: ooo I show you free, see again now!
*kick*
WTYU has logged on
WTYU: se all
to WTYU: see now!
*kick*
WTYU has logged on
WTYU has been blocked
I don't know how long he could have continued it..
MommieLongLegs
07-05-2012, 11:04 AM
Dummy: Get me hard n i go pvt
I like to be hard first (I HATE this! Argggghhhsgshgh!)
Me: I'm not interested in 2-minute sessions so dont even bother
Guy leaves
JoJoX
07-05-2012, 02:29 PM
i had two guys recently mfc mailed me their email address explaining to me they want some pictures to save on their phone and put on their desktop....with no tip.
Classy_Katy
07-05-2012, 02:32 PM
I had a guy the other day ask me to turn him on...I told him if he wasn't already turned on just by seeing and hearing me, he was in the wrong room!
I also told him that I wasn't responsible for his libido which may be affected by any number of medical conditions.