View Full Version : STUPID annoying shit I've heard on cam....
Rose_Who
07-08-2013, 05:02 PM
this is sig worthy but im pretty sure its over the symbol limit -_-
I'll take the abbreviated version.
Snowy0Star
07-08-2013, 05:06 PM
^ i was talking about just that part i didnt think it was under the symbol limit w00t
chloemay
07-08-2013, 05:26 PM
I saw it at the wine shop near me and posted about it on facebook. My two favorite comments:
Ha, whatev, I've been carrying wine in my purse for years. Big occasions, take the plastic bag out of the box, stick it in your fashionably large purse and good to go.
livenowdarling
07-08-2013, 05:34 PM
On my 4th day as a camgirl...after 4 hours and only 45 tokens but still wearing a smile...(I'm summarizing here)
Me: Okay guys obviously I'm not going to make this countdown and I've stayed on long enough, it's time for me to go, you all have a good night!
Custie: NOOOOO! I WANT TO GO PVT!!
Me: You have been in my room before and surely you've read my profile by now. So you know what to do if you are serious.
Custie: I HAVEN'T READ A WORD. I'M TOO DRUNK TO READ NOW. I'M READY TO SPEND 1000 TOKENS WITH YOU.
Me: Fine, I won't make you read. Tip 200 to be on my friends list then PM me what you want in private. You have to stay at least 5 minutes.
Custie: I TIPPED 200 FOR FRIEND THE OTHER DAY BUT YOU SAY NO!!!!!!
Me: Yes, my friends list price was higher the other day. I had to rethink that. I'm new and allowed to make such adjustments. But you tipped towards the countdown, which I lowered 45tkns for you and then you just added in a friend request on top of that for the same price!
Custie: I ALREADY TIPPED 200 FOR FRIEND!
Me: (realizing I'm having a pointless argument with a seriously cheap and drunk person but very disappointed at my earnings and being overly optimistic about this turning into a real private) You are not being fair. You made those numbers up and I don't appreciate it. I'm not trying to screw you here. But tips are not retro-active. What you are actually telling me now is that two days ago I was worth a 200 tokens tip but now I am not. That's not very nice. Let's just try this another night.
Custie: OKAY.
I will have to learn not to waste my breath on people like this but when you're having a bad night and it's with someone who has been your high tipper of the night it becomes harder to just walk away. I knew he was a super cheap fuck and haggler though. That shit really gets on my nerves.
Sunnylexie
07-08-2013, 07:26 PM
Me: That sounds like dirty talk. You want me to talk dirty to you?
****
Dbag:give me a preview
Me: PREVIEW??
Dbag: quick one
A quick preview for dirty talk OMG! He was literally asking for one of the 3 options: 1)you tell about your sexcapades really fast in a hi-pitched toon voice; 2) recite (in your best sexy voice) a phrase making no sense out of context, like "I knew he liked that but I wanted to tease him a bit before giving him more"; 3) read "Mary had a little lamb" or multiply numbers in the same super-sexy voice.
PrincessLavender
07-08-2013, 08:49 PM
I don't want to make anyone here jealous but "assninja" thinks I'm sexy like a butterfly. Don't hate. Haha!
IsobelWren
07-08-2013, 09:28 PM
Ha, whatev, I've been carrying wine in my purse for years. Big occasions, take the plastic bag out of the box, stick it in your fashionably large purse and good to go.
LOL, see, that's WAY better than someone selling a box wine in a purse shaped box simply because they think that it will appeal to women because it's a pretty purse and women like pretty purses and therefore won't be threatened by the "potentially scary experience" of buying wine.
nikki187
07-09-2013, 08:15 AM
Dumb ass: Hi, bb hru?
Me: great thank you, hru?
Dumb ass: Good thanks
Me: awesome. whats up?
Dumb ass: So whats your fav position.
Me: We can discuss that in pvt and have some fun ;)
Dumb ass: Ha ha no I just fucked someone 2 hours ago.
Me: Ok so what are you doing here then?
Dumb ass has logged off
ChopperM
07-09-2013, 11:22 AM
^ Lol when guys blurt out some random sexual question during normal chit chat on camsites it always makes me laugh because I picture guys doing that in real life
*meet a guy at the bar*
him: hi baby how are you?
her: (thinking: baby? wtf we just met) great thank you, how are you?
him: good thanks
her: awesome. whats up?
him: so what's your fav position?
Nina_Den
07-09-2013, 01:05 PM
Yeah, but this one I can at least understand (I just ignore it, though); they assume since we are camgirls, we are there to talk about anything-sexual in free chat, cause, hey, what the heck?
The one thing that makes me furious is when guys just drop-by in my room and start building up a random conversation with me about whatever (it's usually not even sexual), and when I call them up on it, they mention just being bored/thinking I'm "cool" and not even interested in a show. They sometimes even admit they never spend ANY money in the site.
I hate the matter-of-fact way in which the say these things to me. Like... "hey, you're here online anyway doing nothing, so you might as well talk to me". I used to roll with it when I did MFC and realized it was a huge mistake. These days it annoys me so, so much.
Rose_Who
07-09-2013, 02:31 PM
Yeah, but this one I can at least understand (I just ignore it, though); they assume since we are camgirls, we are there to talk about anything-sexual in free chat, cause, hey, what the heck?
The one thing that makes me furious is when guys just drop-by in my room and start building up a random conversation with me about whatever (it's usually not even sexual), and when I call them up on it, they mention just being bored/thinking I'm "cool" and not even interested in a show. They sometimes even admit they never spend ANY money in the site.
I hate the matter-of-fact way in which the say these things to me. Like... "hey, you're here online anyway doing nothing, so you might as well talk to me". .
I hear you there... I permabanned this one fucker today for that shit. He's been coming in EVERY DAY for the past couple of weeks trying to get my server, character names, battletag, etc on WoW without ever spending a dime. Today I called him out on it and told him he'd be permabanned unless he started ponying up some cash RIGHT THEN. I had a couple of regs in my room who were backing me up, calling him an asshole and shit. He tried ALL the usual defenses.
"I will give you money later!"
"I'm not asking for anything sexual"
"It's not like I'm trying to get your real name."
"Your character name isn't personal contact info, so I should be able to get it."
"I'm in love with you!"
And then finally...
"This is a free site! I don't have to pay!"
DUDE. What the FUCK. It's STREAMATE. STREAMATE is NOT a free site!!!
I banned him, and the guys in my room tipped me extra gold just because I had to deal with that fucker. Later in the day, I got a 45minute exclusive block with my favorite eDom. SO.... Fuck that dirty freeloader. Or rather, DON'T fuck him because the only pussy he's getting with his attitude is Palmina and her five sisters!
Nina_Den
07-09-2013, 02:39 PM
Palmina and her five sisters
34289
Seriously, though. What I love about SM, is the fact that the I-just-want-to-talk kind of freeloader is much, much easier to spot. Like, as I said, on MFC I'd spent a huge amount of time on these guys, being all sunshine-and-rainbows nice to them because I always gave them the benefit of the doubt; you never know - one of them might all of a sudden tip you a few hundred tokens just cause they think you're awesome to talk to (It only happened once. Once and no more). Like, the option of tipping in free chat is always there. It's all about it, honestly.
But on SM, where it's more like wham-bam-thank-you-mam, you just KNOW when a guy hasn't got any intention of taking you private. I only engage in long conversations either WHILE being in an exclusive chat, or in free chat with level-2 guys (and if I see it's getting to a point of all-talk-and-no-play anymore, I either ban or kick them, depending).
MissBlake
07-09-2013, 03:20 PM
Weirdo takes me pvt on SM.
Guy1: Hey delicioucc, I took you pvt bb
Me: Thanks babe, what would you like for me to do for you? I'm so ready (begins to remove blouse)
Guy 1: Stop! You going too fast!
Guy 1: Don't takeoff clothes yet
Me: Okay babe,
Guy 1: Where are from? Rub your pusy now
Me: Sure hun.. pulls panties down
Guy 1: No!!!! keep panties on
Guy 1: Just rub panties only b?
lol rubs my pussy with the panties on
Guy 1: Don't rub too hatd bb u hurt pussy
Guy 2: enters pvt room
Guy 1: you too pretty get naked yet
Guy 2: Let me see that pussy bb
Me: lol
Guy 2: Get naked
I slide my panties down slowly
Guy 1: No! I said keep your CLOTHES ON! You are going too FAST!
Guy 1 tips 10 gold..
Guy 2: are you gonna do anything or what?
Guy 1: See I pay you well
Me: Thankyou so much for the tip sweetie
Guy 1: Go slower now and don't thank me yet
Guy 2: ?
Me- sits there with clothes on
Guy 1 leaves... lmao
Rose_Who
07-09-2013, 03:27 PM
Guy 1: No! I said keep your CLOTHES ON! You are going too FAST!
Can I have him? Please?
I usually get "WHY ARE YOU NOT NAKED???" 5 seconds into the private Guy.
In all seriousness, though, you could always tell Guy1 that if he wants you to tailor the whole show JUST to him, he needs to go to exclusive.
VictoriaChaos
07-09-2013, 06:23 PM
Weirdo takes me pvt on SM.
I fucking hate when guys do that!
If you want to do something, take me exclusive, don't join my already going private you dumbfuck!
People just blow my mind...
Sunnylexie
07-09-2013, 06:39 PM
The one thing that makes me furious is when guys just drop-by in my room and start building up a random conversation with me about whatever (it's usually not even sexual), and when I call them up on it, they mention just being bored/thinking I'm "cool" and not even interested in a show.
"I only buy shows when I need no entertainment, from ugly stupid girls who are being total bitches to me, thanks!"
CanadianRuby
07-09-2013, 06:49 PM
@
[email protected] I just wasted like 20 minutes with some douchebag.
He sent me a chat invite, and, we were chatting and he asked about a cam show.
yadayadayada, he starts telling me how he has "deals" with girls on MGF. He gets a 15-20 minute cam show, and he pays them $10 (so the girl gets 6 bucks).
He says that the girls, durring the show, can do whatever they want...like stop the show and answer messages, or live chats...whatever...in-between masturbating for him I guess???
Who the hell is accepting doing a TWENTY minute cam show....for $6 dollars?????????
I told him, I don't do that sort of thing, and I don't understand why ANYONE would agree to that...and he told me my $3/min price was out of his price range.
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW.>:(
LilyAnderson
07-09-2013, 10:42 PM
happened earlier today:
(this guy has 300 tokens.)
bitch: "can you show me your ass?"'
me: "that would be a little too easy, wouldn't it? 40 tokens for booty, hun. "
bitch: "but i wanna see your ass so i can bring you private"
me: "okay. let's envision something together. if there were 90 people looking at you, would you take out your dick for free?"
bitch: "no i would make them close their eyes."
bitch: "i wanna take you private baby let me see you ass"
me: "i'll make you a deal. go on a camera, let 90 strangers in your room, and open your ass for them. if you do that, i'll show it for free."
-banned-
Fallenangel2904
07-09-2013, 11:40 PM
LOL MissBlake that sound incredibly confusing I feel for you!!
I HATE when
A) a guy wants something specific but then takes me private not exclusive. I usually still try to accommodate but COME ON
B) a guy comes into an already going show and barks orders at me. Um NO.
I probably would have tried to go with guy 1 here, but when you did what he asked and stayed clothed he left lmao! I don't get it? haha
LaceyCummings
07-10-2013, 06:38 AM
I greet everyone by name as they come in. Sometimes, completely by chance, screennames rhyme, and I end up sounding like Dr. Seuss.
Hi there timmy, Hello tommy, hows it going mrflex? Hey, Bubba, Hi Billy, Hey, Bobby, Oh Hello there, Ilovebuttsecks
HI bigdickDan, hi bigdickStan, purplecock, and fatcock, bigfatcock, and boner
What is annoying to me, is that no one ever seems to notice or think this is funny. I have always had what I like to refer to as a "ticklish sense of humor." I see comedy in everything and everything makes me laugh. My sense of humor is the only thing that makes life worth living, or camming tolerable. It must suck being made of stone!
lolahjamieson
07-10-2013, 06:49 AM
I greet everyone by name as they come in. Sometimes, completely by chance, screennames rhyme, and I end up sounding like Dr. Seuss.
Hi there timmy, Hello tommy, hows it going mrflex? Hey, Bubba, Hi Billy, Hey, Bobby, Oh Hello there, Ilovebuttsecks
HI bigdickDan, hi bigdickStan, purplecock, and fatcock, bigfatcock, and boner
What is annoying to me, is that no one ever seems to notice or think this is funny. I have always had what I like to refer to as a "ticklish sense of humor." I see comedy in everything and everything makes me laugh. My sense of humor is the only thing that makes life worth living, or camming tolerable. It must suck being made of stone!
this happens to me too. i also sometimes feel like having a magic mirror, romper room styles, so i can say "i see tommy, i see joe, etc"
yesterday:
no money: oooh you so sexy bb
me: thank you
no money: how about you change into some white panty and bras
me: how about i change for you in private
no money: i problem, i only free, no private!!!!
me: i have a problem, no free, only private!
LaceyCummings
07-10-2013, 06:53 AM
When I get sick of free chat, I will start a countdown copy and pasting "X MINUTES LEFT TO GET A PVT OR I LOG OFF!"
(First of all, let me say that when used sparingly, this is incredibly effective. I'd say it works 9 out of 10 times. Honestly, sometimes I wish this was how cam sites worked. If a model was in free chat for too long, a timer would pop us telling customers that if they like what they see, they need to motivate the model or she will be gone. But there are clear downsides to this, so whatevs.)
But whatever, so I started posting that I was about to leave.
ME: 5 MINUTES LEFT TO GET A PVT OR I LOG OFF!
MRMONEYBAGS: Do a gold show!
"Mr.Moneybags", huh? Mister I have BAGS of MONEY, is begging for a GOLD SHOW?
It was too much for me. I laughed so hard I fell off the bed. I just kept cackling "money bags! Money bags wants a cheap gold show! Where are your money bags now? " I was rolling on the floor, gasping for air, then I got a proper pvt. Eat it, moneybags.
LaceyCummings
07-10-2013, 06:56 AM
yesiamafemale: SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS LOCK HAHA
so….turn it off?
~Carmen~
07-10-2013, 07:03 AM
Oh the stupidity! In 4 years of camming, I have yet to see a guy with "money" in his name who actually has money!
LaceyCummings
07-10-2013, 07:09 AM
After a couple years of camming, I was starting to think I had pretty much heard it all. Clearly, A-NY-THING can be fetishized. I was genuinely surprised by the following conversation.
We go exclusive, he calls me.
HIM: Can I ask you a question?
ME: Ok
HIM: *He is whispering the whole time, like it is a dirty secret* “what are tires made out of?”
ME: What? *thinking, Am I being trolled?*
HIM: What are tires made out of?
ME: Tires?
HIM: Yeah like on a car?
ME: …
HIM: What are tires made out of? I like tires.
ME: Umm..rubber?
HIM: Ahhhh *like a satisfied sigh* what?
ME: Rubber?
HIM: What?
ME: Rubber? Rubber tires?
HIM: Ohhhh *turns on cam* he is wearing a sweater set and glasses. "Tires get me off."
ME: What do you like about tires?
HIM: Tires get me off
ME: What do you like to do with them?
HIM: I jack off to them.
ME: Real tires or pictures of tires?
HIM: Pictures.
he logs off
The weirdest thing about this was that he was a previous customer. He only had a 1, so it might have only been one short show in the past, but I definitely don't remember him being unusual in any way. What the hell was that?
PrincessLavender
07-10-2013, 07:30 AM
^ Lol when guys blurt out some random sexual question during normal chit chat on camsites it always makes me laugh because I picture guys doing that in real life
*meet a guy at the bar*
him: hi baby how are you?
her: (thinking: baby? wtf we just met) great thank you, how are you?
him: good thanks
her: awesome. whats up?
him: so what's your fav position?
I do that too! Especially if they don't say "hi" first and especially ones like "How big are your nipples?" "When was the last time you had real sex?" and my all time favorite "Take that top off"
LaceyCummings
07-10-2013, 07:40 AM
One of the number one most annoying things to me is when I get a short pvt, like a 30-second hero for example, and when I bounce back to free chat, there is always at least one motherfucker that has to say
"That was fast, lol"
Bitch, it's longer than you have spent in pvt with me today, so shut your broke-ass-bitch of a mouth. I'll respond with something like "Let's see if you can do better." but I am always fucking seething inside.
I feel like that issue is probably mentioned in this thread already, but I really, really hate that one.
While I'm typing, I had this guy yesterday take a good look at my bare breasts and ask me "How much did those puppies cost?"
I don't even know how to take that...a compliment? An insult? We have all talked about how guys will ask if our obviously natural breasts are enhanced, but that is usually in free chat, wearing a bra, right?
Lately, I've had a ton of guys telling me that they don't believe my boobs are "only B cups," that they must be bigger. Because, OKAY, you're right, I have no idea how big my boobs are, it's not like I have to buy bras that come in standardized sizes or anything, it's not like they are fucking attached to my chest. In reality, they are right, my boobs are not B cups, they are motherfucking A CUPS! I lie and put B on my profile because men have no idea what boob sizes are.
Regardless of the fact that they are, in reality A cups, and plenty of guys seem to love them, I would lose business if I advertized them as such, because apparently they "don't look like A cups." Tell that to my bra. Better yet, let me try that line of thinking next time I'm getting fitted at Victoria's Secret. "I know that math and logic will tell you I need a 34A, but everyone says I look like a 34C!"
But....wtf? My boobies are small and unimpressive. They aren't particularly perky, and they are asymmetrical, as all natural breasts are. What kind of moron sees small, uneven, saggy boobs and thinks "How much did those run you?" I always say "Babe, if they were fake, they would be a hell of a lot bigger than this."
I mean, god damn, I guess that just speaks to the power of cam magic. Angles, posing and lighting are everything. I wish I was as gorgeous and flawless in real life as I look on cam. :)
VictoriaChaos
07-10-2013, 07:53 AM
I mean, god damn, I guess that just speaks to the power of cam magic. Angles, posing and lighting are everything. I wish I was as gorgeous and flawless in real life as I look on cam. :)
I do too but than I remember that no one is gonna tip me for standing, flashing my ass or boobs or for just having a conversation with me, than I wonder why I leave my house in the first place.
LaceyCummings
07-10-2013, 08:55 AM
Oh! This! I generally sit showing from my chest up. (I used to show my whole body in frame, but I found that I make just as much money sitting comfortably.) So I hear this all day every day, as if it was the most important question in the world.
Weasel: Nice bra!
Me: Thanks!
Weasel: Do the panties match?
1-Yes, this is sometimes simply a ploy, albeit a stupid one, to get us to move around, show our ass, stand up, etc.
2- Yes, men are "visual creatures."
But, I'm sorry, I find this so aggravating. Fashion. Colors. The fact that we are even discussing whether or not my panties match my bra is ludicrous to me.
We both know that I will end up naked, so this is moot anyway. I could have wrapped myself up in one long continuous roll of toilet paper like a mummy and unraveled myself, and he would have fucking LOVED it! I just came up with that off the top of my head, but I can picture that being an awesome fetish clip. lol. Or toilet paper clothes and just ripping them to shreds. lol. To me, it is like a child crying about a bow on a present, as if that had anything to do with the gift inside, and then of course unwrapping it as fast as possible. It's not that I don't get it, it just gets on my nerves.
Furthermore, bras and panties are not generally sold in matching motherfucking sets. Sometimes, they do coordinate, but most of the time, I will either find a bra or a pair of panties I like, and I have to hunt for a suitable match. It can actually be quite the thrill when I find the perfect lace thong to go with a bra I already own. Bras should come with 3-5 pairs of matching panties to make all these fucktard fashionistas happy. :)
Glamourmilf
07-10-2013, 09:15 AM
I hear this at least 50 times every time I'm camming (as I bet all of You ladies do as well)~"'Oh, I wish I lived next door to You"
I know it is meant as a compliment, but, these guys NEVER go prvt.
All that comment does is make me glad they don't live next door to me, and give me the creeps!:yuck:
Nina_Den
07-10-2013, 11:00 AM
^ Yes. "I wish I lived next door to you", "I wish you were here right now", "Could I stay at your place if I come to Israel?" (I actually got this one more than once), "Your stuffed animals are lucky for having the possibility to sleep next to you every night". Do any of these people take me private? Yeah, you guessed right.
Also, @LaceyCummings - Oh. My. God. I HATE it when they do it, with the "that was short!" remark. It seems like it's some guys' main aim in life; to sit in free chat, wait for privates to end and then to comment on how short they lasted. I think they do it because they are broke losers who can't afford even 31 seconds in private with us, so when a private ends really quick they justify it to themselves thinking we are not "worth" it, and that the costumer left because we suck. It makes them SO happy.
CourtneyRaine
07-10-2013, 10:32 PM
crazy man: you need some black dick in your life babee
me: oh yeah? why would you say that?
crazy man: have this dick all in ya guts
me: (scared look on my face) I don't think penises are supposed to go there...
roast
07-11-2013, 12:55 AM
Got an message in my inbox. It is from someone who tipped $1 once 6months ago, but always come by my room when Im on to wax poetic. I acknowledged him so he freaked out bc I hadnt bothered to in ages bc it doesnt influence his behavior either way. So he freaked out at the acknowledgement, leaves, comes back an hour later and tells me he sent me a msg. I ignore him, he leaves. There are tumbleweeds in my room, so I check my inbox. I see it. With an attachment -cue ominous music-
So Im curious what he even looks like and click.
Poking out of his boxers is a giant penis that he is barely able to get his fists around. Pre-cum a drippin. Very large picture, very high quality. Very well lit. Like 2MB, 1500 x 900 of dick pic.
But.
Let me clarify:
When I say penis, I mean dildo. Cheap dildo. Like dildo with a very obvious factory seam vertically lining the whole undershaft of the dildo from tip to base.
When I say pre-cum, I think he'd just spit on it as there was no mock urethral opening and his lower lip still had a bit of drool on it.
I can see all of this detail... because the picture is fucking 2MB and consumes my entire screen. Oh and it is very well lit. The dildo is also 4 shades lighter than his torso and hands.
Honestly if he was clear across the room and shrunk it to 20% and turned off one his lamps, it couldve passed, but it was so big and high quality that it was just clownishly unrealistic. I considered it was just a gag pic for us to laugh about but was not optimistic. I quickly dashed any ideas of a mutually shared joke when he returns a few days later:
"you get my pic?!"
It is slow, so... "yes I did"
"MMMMMMMM" (instant regret at bothering)
"hmm."
"I know that got you wet, you like my dick? It is 11inches!"
"Is that what it says on the box?"
"What?"
"Does the box say the dildo you bought is 11 inches?
-leaves abruptly-
Followup msg: "delete my picture. forget about me."
hooooookay
SoloDesire
07-11-2013, 12:59 AM
^^ I'm lying in bed right now laughing my ass off!! "Is that what it said on the box?" LMAO!
Nina_Den
07-11-2013, 01:41 AM
^ Yes. I was impressed by the monster-cock description, and then when you got to the point... damn. I died.
Sunnylexie
07-11-2013, 03:00 AM
ME: What do you like about tires?
HIM: Tires get me off
ME: What do you like to do with them?
HIM: I jack off to them.
ME: Real tires or pictures of tires?
HIM: Pictures.
he logs off
The weirdest thing about this was that he was a previous customer. He only had a 1, so it might have only been one short show in the past, but I definitely don't remember him being unusual in any way. What the hell was that?
I had a reggie who took me exclusive to talk about how girls have "pretty handwriting". You can never guess what can be getting someone off.
Vlodina
07-11-2013, 07:41 AM
teamplayer: take that top off you know you want to
ive seen titts anyways i dont pay im to big and good for that
nikki187
07-11-2013, 10:48 AM
So I like to listen to Nelly radio on pandora. It plays a lot of his old stuff and I love it lol.
Asshole: 1999 called and want thier mixed tape back
Me: Huh didn't realize music had an expiration date. Lol.
Blocked asshole. How dare he dis my music LMAO
ChopperM
07-11-2013, 11:10 AM
Lately, I've had a ton of guys telling me that they don't believe my boobs are "only B cups," that they must be bigger. Because, OKAY, you're right, I have no idea how big my boobs are, it's not like I have to buy bras that come in standardized sizes or anything, it's not like they are fucking attached to my chest. In reality, they are right, my boobs are not B cups, they are motherfucking A CUPS! I lie and put B on my profile because men have no idea what boob sizes are.
Omg me too! I used to tell guys the truth that my boobs are 36B, but I got soooo sick of every single fucking guy saying "No way! There's no way! They must be bigger! They're amazing!" (mind you most of these guys see me with my bra on, and I wear VS bombshell bras so maybe that's why they think that :P But I've heard it with my bra off too. So now I lie and tell them my boobs are 36C because I think that's why they want to hear, but I still get guys saying that there's no way, they must be bigger. Ugh. I think most guys have no idea what boob sizes are, they just think that if a pair of tits looks nice, they must be Ds!
CanadianRuby
07-11-2013, 11:23 AM
Got an message in my inbox. It is from someone who tipped $1 once 6months ago, but always come by my room when Im on to wax poetic. I acknowledged him so he freaked out bc I hadnt bothered to in ages bc it doesnt influence his behavior either way. So he freaked out at the acknowledgement, leaves, comes back an hour later and tells me he sent me a msg. I ignore him, he leaves. There are tumbleweeds in my room, so I check my inbox. I see it. With an attachment -cue ominous music-
So Im curious what he even looks like and click.
Poking out of his boxers is a giant penis that he is barely able to get his fists around. Pre-cum a drippin. Very large picture, very high quality. Very well lit. Like 2MB, 1500 x 900 of dick pic.
But.
Let me clarify:
When I say penis, I mean dildo. Cheap dildo. Like dildo with a very obvious factory seam vertically lining the whole undershaft of the dildo from tip to base.
When I say pre-cum, I think he'd just spit on it as there was no mock urethral opening and his lower lip still had a bit of drool on it.
I can see all of this detail... because the picture is fucking 2MB and consumes my entire screen. Oh and it is very well lit. The dildo is also 4 shades lighter than his torso and hands.
Honestly if he was clear across the room and shrunk it to 20% and turned off one his lamps, it couldve passed, but it was so big and high quality that it was just clownishly unrealistic. I considered it was just a gag pic for us to laugh about but was not optimistic. I quickly dashed any ideas of a mutually shared joke when he returns a few days later:
"you get my pic?!"
It is slow, so... "yes I did"
"MMMMMMMM" (instant regret at bothering)
"hmm."
"I know that got you wet, you like my dick? It is 11inches!"
"Is that what it says on the box?"
"What?"
"Does the box say the dildo you bought is 11 inches?
-leaves abruptly-
Followup msg: "delete my picture. forget about me."
hooooookay
LOL. That is fucking hilarious.
/Dying.
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DoodlebugBites
07-11-2013, 12:23 PM
Whenever someone says "That was fast" I say, "I'm JUST that good." Usually shuts them up and hey–it means there's at least one person in the world that doesn't know about the irtythay econdsay thing.
Rose_Who
07-11-2013, 12:48 PM
BrokeJerk: You show tits bb?
Me: Sure! I'd love to! just tip 5 gold or take me to private!
Brokejerk: tits bb then private.
Me: Okay, but you have to tip.
Brokejerk: first time trial?
Me: For your 'first time trial' I'll refrain from calling you an idiot for thinking I'll show you my breasts for free.
PrincessLavender
07-11-2013, 03:45 PM
These types of interactions:
Fucktard: Show me your boobs
Me: 5 gold to see here
Fucktard: Just real quick, if I like them I'll go pvt
Me: Sorry, I don't show for free
Fucktard: No boobs, no pvt, it's up to you
Me: Then I guess no pvt
Oh, and I just remembered another one from a few days ago. Can't remember exactly how it went but in free chat he basically asked for ass (told him 3 gold), tits (told him 5 gold) talk dirty to him (said I don't have sound) went back to ass (told him 3 gold again) asked me to talk dirty to him again (said I don't have sound. Then he says "OMG, can you do anything for me!" (yes, with the exclamation point. I imagined a grown man stomping his feet like a 2 yr throwing a temper tantrum) I said "Yep" gave him the finger and then promptly blocked him.
CanadianRuby
07-11-2013, 05:18 PM
These types of interactions:
Fucktard: Show me your boobs
Me: 5 gold to see here
Fucktard: Just real quick, if I like them I'll go pvt
Me: Sorry, I don't show for free
Fucktard: No boobs, no pvt, it's up to you
Me: Then I guess no pvt
Oh, and I just remembered another one from a few days ago. Can't remember exactly how it went but in free chat he basically asked for ass (told him 3 gold), tits (told him 5 gold) talk dirty to him (said I don't have sound) went back to ass (told him 3 gold again) asked me to talk dirty to him again (said I don't have sound. Then he says "OMG, can you do anything for me!" (yes, with the exclamation point. I imagined a grown man stomping his feet like a 2 yr throwing a temper tantrum) I said "Yep" gave him the finger and then promptly blocked him.
hahaha that is hilarious @ the last one.
I love it. Lol.
DO WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I SAID SO
CanadianRuby
07-11-2013, 05:33 PM
34321
THANKS MISTER. I AM SUPER GLAD YOU ARE ACCEPTING OF MY GLASSES. I REALLY GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK.
This guy is such a nob.
Nina_Den
07-11-2013, 05:51 PM
I have a lot from today, probably cause I've been on for almost 10 hours? Don't look at me like that. I had to make payout cause I haven't been on since Sunday. And, no, I didn't bank. I'm actually ashamed to say how much I made in 10 hours. I'll look like a complete loser. I bet other girls in here would've made a fortune in 10 hours.
Anyway, off to the point. Allow me to begin with my favorite:
Dumbass: -some random opening line. I responded, and he said he doesn't have audio.-
Me: -typing- I'm sorry, X. Can I help you with something?
Dumbass: Ohh... how cute. That's what you're here for, after all, to help. Bitch. Good luck with your shows.
A true gentleman.
Next one:
Dumbass 2: Why is your rate so high? Yes you're very hot but all the others are 1.99
Imaginary cam-peer-pressure for delusional idiots.
Dumbass 3: What language do you speak in Israel?
Me: Hebrew.
Dumbass 3: What? Keyboard?
Dumbass 3: Sorry what language? Kibro?
Me: -typing- Hebrew.
Dumbass 3: Ah lol.
Dumbass 3: You're Muslim right?
And that's just the beginning...
CanadianRuby
07-11-2013, 06:40 PM
34325
LaceyCummings
07-11-2013, 09:15 PM
Ha! That is a great response! I forgot all about it. That's probably what I say when I'm in a better mood, lol. I'm a playful cam slut when I'm in a good mood, but when it gets slow, I get bitchy and demanding. Both work. :)
Whenever someone says "That was fast" I say, "I'm JUST that good." Usually shuts them up and hey–it means there's at least one person in the world that doesn't know about the irtythay econdsay thing.
Not heard, exactly, but I just got pm'd by someone whose screenname heavily implied they were at best a tasteless ass and at worst a fucking neo nazi. My vagina clamped shut like a bank vault, ugh.
CanadianRuby
07-14-2013, 12:13 AM
34330\
The bit that pissed me off was the last part. He is pretending to be a "nice guy" by saying he wants to give 'amature' women money they need...when really, in the other hand, he fucking wants a $20 dollar discount on my content.
I don't like being haggled. I am not a fucking bargain bin for you to jerk off into. I am a woman with a set standard and knows her worth. Asshole.
And I hate when they guilt trip you.
WELL OTHER GIRLS ONLY MAKE ME PAY $10 FOR A 20 MIN CAM SHOW. WELL OTHER GIRLS INLY CHARGE $1.99/ MIN. WELL OTHER GIRLS ARE WILLING TO HAGGLE.