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View Full Version : I am at the end of my rope with my Autistic son



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DesuvsDeath
02-03-2011, 03:31 PM
^^ Thank you for the link!

Oh, and to you guys suggesting marijuana, it just isn't happening. I despise potheads and don't buy that whole, it's not really a drug mentality. My hubbies ex bestie was a major pothead and I saw him and his wife destroy their lives because of weed, kinda changed my view on the subject. I don't do drugs myself and certainly and not putting my son on an illegal substance. Even if I did buy the whole "not a drug" way of thinking, I would NEVER do anything that could result in jail time and my losing custody of my children.

I can't believe someone would even suggest that. :O

This sounds incredibly hard and it's really impressive how level-headed and just generally 'together' you seem for someone in such a stressful situation.

The Six
02-04-2011, 06:40 PM
What's the difference between marijuana and any other "med" if it's legal and medicinal?

nelly33
02-04-2011, 08:12 PM
My girlfriend and I just joined a support group for autism... she has two autistic sons, one of them fairly severely autistic, the other one on the low end of the spectrum. She was feeling overwhelmed as well, and felt that when she complained and vented that he was frustrating to raise that she was being a bad mother. So far we have only been to one meeting together, but I feel that it's useful for a number of ways... one is that she gets to hear from other relatives of autistic people that also feel very frustrated at times but clearly love their autistic family members; it lets her feel that she isn't a bad person. Two, it helps her see how other families have dealt with situations she is having trouble with. IMO it helps to see that other people have struggled and gotten depressed, but have still raised children as healthy and happily as they were able.
Everyone needs support. I do recommend a support group, if only to vent to people who understand your struggle and to show you that it is normal to get frustrated with your child. We will be going for the foreseeable future. I have found websites that focus on networking with other parents and relatives of autistic people, and I would be more than happy to share what I've found.

princessjas
02-10-2011, 08:41 AM
What's the difference between marijuana and any other "med" if it's legal and medicinal?

Most other drugs don't cause you to hallucinate and sedate the hell out of you. How is that medicinal anyway?? I mean, he doesn't need pain control and a hunger stimulant like chemo patients. I would never put my son on any hallucinogen, regardless of legalities. Oh, and as I've said over and over again (sorry, but if you guys weren't stoned you'd have probably noticed) it's not legal in my state and I live in a highly regulated apt complex where they do monthly inspections. Even if I didn't despise druggies I'd be busted in a heartbeat, lose custody and do prison time.

Now, please, for the love of god...... if you are a stoner, step out of this thread!!

princessjas
02-10-2011, 08:51 AM
Oh jeez, my ex hubby left at 9 am and since then Ethan has pissed on my floor, poured water out 3 different times, poured out his juice on the floor, will not leave the fridge closed (I've had to put him out of it probably 40-50 times), has been carrying around his stepstool for the potty and I've had to get him off it at least 20-30 times, has tried to open the front door and run out 3 or 4 times, has hit Tyler, tried to hit Ty another 6 or 7 times that I stopped, tore a couple of pages in one of my schoolbooks, put water all over the bathroom floor while washing his hands, is screaming constantly, and I just had to put him out of the cleaning supplies under the sink (he grabbed the Clorox Cleanup!) and then he tried to get in my purse. Oh, and he won't leave the other Xbox remote charger alone either. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I hate having my ex around, but Ethan is almost like a normal child when he's here. Please tell me that most kids 2 mos from their 4th b-day don't act like this. He has done all this in less than 2 hrs and honestly I left out a few minor things.

The Six
02-10-2011, 10:35 PM
Oh, and as I've said over and over again (sorry, but if you guys weren't stoned you'd have probably noticed) it's not legal in my state

No, you haven't said that. The smart alecky remarks certainly don't help. You can say you don't want to give it to your son. Fine. But insisting that everyone who suggests it is some kind of drug junky is pretty immature and silly. It's still unproven as a solid medical aid, but, like in the article linked on the second page, it has helped some children.

DesuvsDeath
02-10-2011, 11:01 PM
^^^ She did, however, say she was "not putting her son on an illegal substance" and "I would NEVER do anything that could result in jail time and my losing custody of my children."
This provides sufficient information for most people to be able to conclude she lives somewhere that it is illegal.

I don't really think that implying that people who think she should put her kid on illegal drugs are probably, themselves, drug addicts is really silly or immature. It's a pretty logical jump.
People who don't do drugs don't typically suggest them as a solution. Just like people who don't drink don't suggest going out and getting hammered as a solution to their friends' problems.


Sorry to hear you guys are having such a rough day, Jas. :(

The Six
02-11-2011, 09:25 AM
^^^ She did, however, say she was "not putting her son on an illegal substance" and "I would NEVER do anything that could result in jail time and my losing custody of my children."
This provides sufficient information for most people to be able to conclude she lives somewhere that it is illegal.

Not really. It's vague.


I don't really think that implying that people who think she should put her kid on illegal drugs are probably, themselves, drug addicts is really silly or immature. It's a pretty logical jump.
People who don't do drugs don't typically suggest them as a solution. Just like people who don't drink don't suggest going out and getting hammered as a solution to their friends' problems.(

That's faulty, twisted logic, but whatever. I was only wondering what the difference was between marijuana and any other legal drug. That's all. I'll give the posters who suggested it the benefit of the doubt and not assume that they're evil drug dealers who want to dope kids.

princessjas
02-11-2011, 09:29 AM
Not really. It's vague.



That's faulty, twisted logic, but whatever. I was only wondering what the difference was between marijuana and any other legal drug. That's all. I'll give the posters who suggested it the benefit of the doubt and not assume that they're evil drug dealers who want to dope kids.

It's only vague if you're stoned or a moron. Seriously. I said it was an illegal substance....is English your second language?

C'mon kids, now what does "illegal" mean?

The Six
02-11-2011, 01:38 PM
Marijuana is an illegal substance everywhere in the country.

Medicinal marijuana is legal in some states.

You simply stated that it is illegal, which it is at a federal level. You did not address whether or not your particular state has decriminalized it.

Understand?

princessjas
02-11-2011, 02:33 PM
^^ I understand perfectly smartass. I think most people could derive a bit of my intended meaning without my having to use hand signs and small words like I would with a 2 yr old though.

Now, as I've ask before, please step out of my thread!!!

The Six
02-11-2011, 02:53 PM
You asked the stoners to step out of the thread. I am not a stoner.

And I'd love to drop this issue but your random insults and tone just make me want to argue more. I didn't want to make assumptions and wanted a clear answer over the issue. I admit I'm not the model of maturity but you should understand that the way you talk to people affects the responses you get.

princessjas
02-11-2011, 02:59 PM
You asked the stoners to step out of the thread. I am not a stoner.

And I'd love to drop this issue but your random insults and tone just make me want to argue more. I didn't want to make assumptions and wanted a clear answer over the issue. I admit I'm not the model of maturity but you should understand that the way you talk to people affects the responses you get.

Notice how polite I was to everyone NOT suggesting illegal drugs? You started this arguement after I ask the stoners to step out, which again, I'm pretty sure anyone with at least a 3rd grade education would infer than I meant anyone mentioning pot. Why should I be polite to people questioning me on my decision not to go to jail and turn my on into a dope head??

Also, do you have an inkling of how fucking rude it is to hijack someones thread when they are having a legitimate and severe medical problem with their CHILD?!?! What kind of psychopath would you have to be to do that anyway?

The Six
02-11-2011, 04:13 PM
Notice how polite I was to everyone NOT suggesting illegal drugs? You started this arguement after I ask the stoners to step out, which again, I'm pretty sure anyone with at least a 3rd grade education would infer than I meant anyone mentioning pot. Why should I be polite to people questioning me on my decision not to go to jail and turn my on into a dope head??

Also, do you have an inkling of how fucking rude it is to hijack someones thread when they are having a legitimate and severe medical problem with their CHILD?!?! What kind of psychopath would you have to be to do that anyway?

All I did was wonder aloud what the difference was. That doesn't make me a stoner. As for you going to jail, I didn't think it was clear if it was legal in your state or not. And based on the info people have provided we can't just say that using it medicinally turns your son into a dope head. It's about moderation and context of how it's used. That's the difference between proper use and abuse. Nobody is questioning your decision. You're actively participating in this "hijacking," too.

Arizona_Angel
02-12-2011, 03:02 AM
My 3 year old was just diagnosed....all the OP wanted to was vent.

Not judging any of you but there are days I want to put a bullet in my brain because I cannot do anything right. It's a crappy existence but we are here. Alive. Ready and wanting SOMEONE to hold out a hand.

I hate my life sometimes. It sucks. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me it will all be okay.

Even if it's a lie.

Mother's exist for their children. Special or not. We deal with the hand we are dealt. But it doesn't mean it doesn't suck, that we don't ache, we don't hate.

Oh and illegal or not....I would sell my soul for peace of mind. Sounds horrible maybe, oh well. I love him fiercely...but sometimes he is the reason I drink or don't want to go home. Again, f*cking horrible,

I would sedate my child if I could for 5 minutes where I do not have to worry. I don't sleep because I work at night. I live off caffeine and others...because I cannot function without. I try to make ends meet....buy clothes he will wear....buy foods he will eat....toys he may play with.....spend nights online trying to find new things he may like, enjoy, play with....whatever.

Sometimes days are excruciating.

But they are our kids. We do it because we love them.

Off on a tangent, today was a really bad day.

It stops being funny/different/weird when it starts being you.

Arizona_Angel
02-12-2011, 03:54 AM
Oh and my day since 6AM yesterday:

Sugar fights with the dog ~~ 5 pound bag of sugar all over the living room

Two cans of Coke Zero on my bed

Metal measuring cup in my face

One can of Diet Ginger Ale on the floor

Hardwood Floor Cleaner in my eye

Burned waffles in the toaster

Red Popsicle on the carpet spread around

One mirror broken

Numerous tantrums.

This all happened when I turned my back for a moment, had to pee, change a tampon, whatever.

Bad ass day.

Arizona_Angel
02-12-2011, 03:59 AM
What's the difference between marijuana and any other "med" if it's legal and medicinal?
Regulated by the FDA.

And not just in a few states.

Keep in mind I could care less who smokes what. Or does what. I have NO right to judge, trust me.

I know the effects of marijuana on pain and nausea. But. Not gonna be blowing smoke in my toddler's face anytime soon.

princessjas
02-12-2011, 05:22 AM
My 3 year old was just diagnosed....all the OP wanted to was vent.

Not judging any of you but there are days I want to put a bullet in my brain because I cannot do anything right. It's a crappy existence but we are here. Alive. Ready and wanting SOMEONE to hold out a hand.

I hate my life sometimes. It sucks. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me it will all be okay.

Even if it's a lie.

Mother's exist for their children. Special or not. We deal with the hand we are dealt. But it doesn't mean it doesn't suck, that we don't ache, we don't hate.

Oh and illegal or not....I would sell my soul for peace of mind. Sounds horrible maybe, oh well. I love him fiercely...but sometimes he is the reason I drink or don't want to go home. Again, f*cking horrible,

I would sedate my child if I could for 5 minutes where I do not have to worry. I don't sleep because I work at night. I live off caffeine and others...because I cannot function without. I try to make ends meet....buy clothes he will wear....buy foods he will eat....toys he may play with.....spend nights online trying to find new things he may like, enjoy, play with....whatever.

Sometimes days are excruciating.

But they are our kids. We do it because we love them.

Off on a tangent, today was a really bad day.

It stops being funny/different/weird when it starts being you.

Just know that I've felt all of this. You aren't alone. There are days when I've wondered if he is the devil sent here just to torment me....but still I love him more than anyone could imagine. It's awful and horrible and wonderful all at the same time, and I don't think anyone but another mother going through something similar could understand.

Rockette
02-12-2011, 08:13 AM
I grew up with an older handicapped brother. I know how tough it is, and I see it in my parents' faces everytime I go visit them. They ended up medicating him because mostly he was too strong for them to handle anymore. After an incident where he literally attacked me and knocked me unconscious (ended up with me moving out, permanetly... another story though), my parents were left with virtually no other choice. He doesn't have Autism, but it is Cerebral Paulsy. Like you said in your post... he's great a good amount of times, but those times where he acts up it is just simply unbearable. My parents are again at a breaking point where they almost can't control him anymore and are looking into decent group homes in their area. I think they need to be over 18 to do this however, and he's 30.

I've lived with it, and volunteered with handicapped children my entire life. It can turn the most saintly people into complete wackjobs. Just try to remain patient, and if you need someone to rant to, just send me a PM. I'll be happy to listen. :hug:

Rockette
02-12-2011, 08:16 AM
Oh and my day since 6AM yesterday:

Sugar fights with the dog ~~ 5 pound bag of sugar all over the living room

Two cans of Coke Zero on my bed

Metal measuring cup in my face

One can of Diet Ginger Ale on the floor

Hardwood Floor Cleaner in my eye

Burned waffles in the toaster

Red Popsicle on the carpet spread around

One mirror broken

Numerous tantrums.

This all happened when I turned my back for a moment, had to pee, change a tampon, whatever.

Bad ass day.

Poor thing. I'm sorry. Hope tomorrow is better! :hug:

Lollipopkiss
02-12-2011, 08:21 AM
All I want to do is hold you for a min. let you know (as you have read) we care. vent. Some of the gurls have had good Ideas. I am an only, and have no kids. I feel for you and only want you to make it.

((((H U G))))