View Full Version : Get A Job Already
TheBrownFox
02-04-2011, 10:36 AM
Her and dad smoke and drink though; imo, if you're strapped for cash, you should drop one of your vices, you know? Easier said than done, I'm sure, but still. They keep buying new shit. Like their new Pathfinder. Or new tables for the living room. Or fancy patio doors. If they need money, at this point it's kind of their own fault. :(
Also, she just told me I should work in a prison in a different city (I'm just over 100lbs, no thank you!) because it pays $20/hr. I asked her if she expected me to walk there every day. She said she would quit her job and drive me to and from work, and I could split the pay with her. Umm... no.
Wow, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but your parents sound they're really a piece of work! >:( And yeah, people who claim they "need" money but then spend it on dumb shit need to wise up. And as for your mom suggesting you work in a prison and split the pay with her...WHAT THE FUCK?! Did she suggest the prison job because A) you happen to have training in that field of work, or did she suggest it just because B) it pays $20/hr and she sees a bunch of dollar signs when she looks at you? I'm gonna assume it's B. *facepalm* Ugh, I'm sorry for what you have to deal with.
I remember when my dad would be in one of his moods and would bitch about his bills, and then he turned around and bought a damn $300 trash can for the kitchen (my sis saw the receipt). Um...really?!
MissEgo, I'm so glad you're getting out of that house soon. You will take a nice big sigh of relief once you're moved into your own place. :)
sananeko
02-04-2011, 11:03 AM
head doctor anyone?
Rarity
02-04-2011, 11:36 AM
Why doesnt your mom work at the prison if its such good pay shes willing to quit her job! was she serious? what about when you decide to go back to shool? sounds like your mom is trying survive the rest of her life relying on you to sustain her, she needs to find another way to maintain her existence, and you should definitely move out and put an end to this unhealthy co-dependency in your relationship. I mean if youre going to be contributing to rent you might as well have privacy and freedom to work as you wish without having to sneak around anyway.
MissEgo
02-04-2011, 12:51 PM
Did she suggest the prison job because A) you happen to have training in that field of work, or did she suggest it just because B) it pays $20/hr and she sees a bunch of dollar signs when she looks at you?
Definitely B.
I've always been a GREAT kid, never snuck out, never done drugs, always did what I was told. Last year at this time I was in school full time, and working three part time jobs, because she told me to. I was working ten hours a week at the university, ten hours at a car dealership, and twenty plus at a restaurant. ON TOP of taking double a full time courseload. I did that for the entire semester, and then upped my restaurant hours to full time for a month afterwards, before I started spontaneously bursting into tears while I was at work. I'm almost positive I have some psychological problems... I must be a masochist for putting up with this for so long.
SexiCal
02-04-2011, 12:52 PM
Does she know what a prison job entails??? That is why they pay so much an hour, because of all of the shit that they have to go through. My friend's mom works at a prison, and I believe she is pulling in about $22/hour, but the abuse she has to go through...UNBELIEVABLE!!! :(
mzdeniro
02-04-2011, 04:00 PM
No offense but your mom has issue's and your dad just seems to be a follower. Although she's your mother she seems very toxic.. you need to distances your self from here asap. Now that I've read all your post about your parents I seriously wouldn't send them money every month. There spending there own money on dumb shyt, they don't seem like they really need your money/help. I don't think there going to appreciate you giving them money, I think they'd just use you for it.
I help my mom with bills sometimes and when I move out I plan on spontaneously paying some bills for her. She never ask me for money or to pay bills, I just love seeing/hearing her surprised reaction when I do it. Sometimes parents need help but most parents would bend over backwards before they asked there child for help.
My mom is a trooper and I do anything for her. If she took advantage of me when I help her like your mom seems to be doing then I would be forced to tell her how I feel and if she continued to do it I would have to eventually cut her off. It would hurt like hell but the way your mother is acting isn't fair to you... you gotta protect/preserve yourself.
Your a good kid and your parents don't deserve you.
xxxevexxx
02-05-2011, 05:13 PM
wow missego im sorry to hear that about your mother.. my father was a very toxic person in my life and I cut him out for the most part and even though he's still my dad I feel a lot better w.o. dealing with his shit. It's an awful feeling to be taken advantage of. Can't wait for you to get out of that situation hun!
MissEgo
02-24-2011, 09:41 PM
:D :D :D :D I can't stop smiling!! My bf, puppy and I move into a studio apartment on March 15th! And then I can cam all day, every day!!
laurielegs
02-24-2011, 09:44 PM
Yay!
I think you are gonna love it!
PrincessLavender
02-24-2011, 09:53 PM
Yay! That's awesome!
CamWhore
02-24-2011, 10:15 PM
im soooooooooooo happy for you!
I rember EXACTLY when i got my first apt ALONE ( withought a bf) in 2009 Greatest, refreshing, feeling EVER.
but...
what are you going to do about your mom now.... because shes certainly using you... shes a vulture with no limits it seems, sort of like someone in my fam.
MissEgo
02-24-2011, 10:25 PM
She's a little pissed off that I'm moving so quickly.
I'll be in the same city, maybe 15-20 minutes from her house, so I'm not entirely escaping the parents yet.
I'm hoping that once I've got a cam routine down, it'll be easier to make some job up, and never be available to go grocery shopping with her or things like that. Try to avoid situations where she could ask me for money.
Kisca
02-24-2011, 10:34 PM
I think some of you are being too hard on the parents.. they raised her afterall. I would help out my parents in a heartbeat. Were they always like this to you? How are they struggling? Do they actually need help, or they just like the extra money, or just want you to pinch in?
Sure parents can get in the way, sure they say things that sound crazy and unthoughtful. My parents wanted me to be a cop (note, im 100lbs) they wanted me to go to private classes, and take extra credits etc. I had to put them in line nicely telling them to get into reality, that they werent going to get a perfect child that they see in their eyes. But I am trying to achieve a good profession as they asked (and for myself).
I would strongly suggest to talk to them. Figure out what the they are really nagging about. Are they behind in payments, mortage...? If they are spending money they have towards junk, you need to telll them. Tell them to get a financial advisor to help them out. If they are really struggling, then I would help out and make sure that money ONLY goes towards to whatever payments they need help. Are they doing anything to help their problem or is it just in their lifestyle? I wouldn strongly suggest talking with your parents before you move out, things may or may not get worse relationship wise.
MissEgo
02-24-2011, 11:02 PM
They've always expected perfection from my sister and I. I'm not kidding you, if we ever came home with less than 100% on something, we got the "I'm disappointed" talk. After my first year of uni they were more focused on getting money from me, though. I really don't mind pitching in, I do live here too, after all. It's just frustrating when they make demands on me to be paying for things, and then they turn around and spend their money on useless or frivolous things. It's like... if they say such and such bills are $300, and I say ok, well, I "got another scholarship" (cammed), here's the cash, and they turn around and spend the day driving out to Vancouver (about 1hr away) in their gas guzzler truck, to go BUY my sister her groceries and then DELIVER them to her house... that's not really a good use of my money. You know?
I know they have good incomes, because when I applied for my student loans last semester I needed to have their tax information to finish the loan application. I didn't even get "middle income" grants, because apparently I'm coming from a "high income" home.
They aren't really doing anything to help themselves out. It's kind of like a fat person who thinks "damn, I wish I wasn't so fat. I wish there was some way to stop being so fat." And then asks the person next to them to hand them another McDouble and pass the remote.
laurielegs
02-26-2011, 12:14 AM
It's just frustrating when they make demands on me to be paying for things, and then they turn around and spend their money on useless or frivolous things. It's like... if they say such and such bills are $300, and I say ok, well, I "got another scholarship" (cammed), here's the cash, and they turn around and spend the day driving out to Vancouver (about 1hr away) in their gas guzzler truck, to go BUY my sister her groceries and then DELIVER them to her house... that's not really a good use of my money. You know?
I know they have good incomes, because when I applied for my student loans last semester I needed to have their tax information to finish the loan application. I didn't even get "middle income" grants, because apparently I'm coming from a "high income" home.
They aren't really doing anything to help themselves out. It's kind of like a fat person who thinks "damn, I wish I wasn't so fat. I wish there was some way to stop being so fat." And then asks the person next to them to hand them another McDouble and pass the remote.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
You are trying to get on your own and establish yourself. THEY should be helping YOU since they have good incomes, not the other way around.
I would be ashamed to ask my kids for help even if I were struggling, but they obviously aren't if you didn't qualify for financial aid. I do without a lot of luxuries so I can help my daughter who is starting college right now and I'm happy to do it.
WTF is wrong with people that they can't even act like parents to their children!
They need to grow up and act like adults. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, ugh. Glad you are getting out though. Don't let them guilt you into giving them your money so they can waste it.
TheBrownFox
02-26-2011, 10:04 AM
I think some of you are being too hard on the parents.. they raised her afterall.
But have you read MissEgo's entire thread?
Nobody is being too hard on the parents. Just because they raised her doesn't mean they have the right to treat her like this and take advantage of her. That kind of behavior is disgusting.
MissEgo is a grown woman who works hard for her money, and I'm happy that she's getting out of there. She deserves it.
Kisca
02-26-2011, 10:29 AM
^ Yes I have, if you didnt notice my ealier posts on this thread.
You should finish reading my whole reply instead one sentence as to why I was saying this.
Sure, that behaviour is disgusting, but there has to be a reason why. Moving out and ignoring the mother is not going to solve anything. It will make the OP in a better state but its not going to change the fact that the mother will remain the same or get worse.
TheBrownFox
02-26-2011, 10:45 AM
^ Yes I have, if you didnt notice my ealier posts on this thread.
You should finish reading my whole reply instead one sentence as to why I was saying this.
Sure, that behaviour is disgusting, but there has to be a reason why. Moving out and ignoring the mother is not going to solve anything. It will make the OP in a better state but its not going to change the fact that the mother will remain the same or get worse.
I did read your whole reply.
It sounds like you think she's moving out ONLY because of this. She's probably been wanting to move out for a while now, and this foolishness with the parents probably gave her the extra encouragement to make it happen. And being a cam girl isn't the easiest thing to do when you're living with parents, which I'm sure she's already thought about. Imagine how much more relaxed she'll be camming now when she's got her own place. :)
And I agree that talking to her parents wouldn't hurt, but I believe she's tried that already?
Nobody is saying she has to cut her parents out of her life completely. But with all this nonsense + the fact that she will be MUCH more comfortable camming from her own place, again I say that I am very happy for her that she's moving out. And I think her relationship with her parents might actually get better when she moves out. I know that sounds crazy, but it's often true. When you move out of your parents' place, they miss you and they're a lot nicer to you when they talk to you from that point on. That's how it was when I moved out.
Sure. Let her try telling the same mother that would take the door off the hinges to spend that money on bills not booze.
My mom lives with me and I take care of her 100%. I don't get to treat her badly because I take care of her, and she doesn't get to treat me badly just because she raised me. Until MissEgo's mom accepts that she doesn't deserves to treat her that way because she has dominion over her child, their relationship can't progress past the ugly stage of "I'm moving out, HA". These things are natural. It will probably heal the relationship over time... but coddling won't.
TheBrownFox
02-26-2011, 11:15 AM
Sure. Let her try telling the same mother that would take the door off the hinges to spend that money on bills not booze.
My mom lives with me and I take care of her 100%. I don't get to treat her badly because I take care of her, and she doesn't get to treat me badly just because she raised me. Until MissEgo's mom accepts that she doesn't deserves to treat her that way because she has dominion over her child, their relationship can't progress past the ugly stage of "I'm moving out, HA". These things are natural. It will probably heal the relationship over time... but coddling won't.
Yeah, that's what I've been saying, but a few people in this thread seem to be sympathizing with the mother, which I refuse to do. There is no excuse for the parents' behavior. And as for trying to talk to an unreasonable family member...trust me, I tried that last summer, and it was a waste of time. Without going into too much detail, my uncle got mad over some dumb shit, and when I tried to talk with him, all he did was throw a tantrum, call me names, and threaten me with bodily harm. Some people are so messed-up that even trying to talk with them calmly won't do a damn thing.....
catgirl
02-26-2011, 03:52 PM
move out.. visit once a week or whatever..
you'll see a change in a matter of months.
trust me-
mom's are crazy when you live with them
MissEgo
02-26-2011, 03:55 PM
HA. Now she's questioning how I'll be able to afford rent and bills. I'm like... ohh... I'll find a job... Like, jesus, I pay for that stuff now too, and you don't care...
She actually said to me yesterday "Oh, great, now I'll have two people showing up at my door for groceries." I asked if she meant my sister and my sister's boyfriend. She said "No! You AND your sister!" Seriously smh. I paid for them, I'll damn well take whatever I want when I leave.
sananeko
02-27-2011, 03:44 AM
I would not come back.. Reading your last post I say even if you visit only once a month she might only think of it as a day and your already coming back for help.. That would really hurt your health quickly..
Dancing Days
02-27-2011, 07:40 AM
MissEgo, I can't fucking BELIEVE that your mom has such big balls. My mom would never even DREAM of asking me for money and actually sends ME money, even though she knows I make my own. The poor woman commutes an hour to shitty job #1, works til 4PM and then goes to shitty job #2 until 11PM...then commutes an hour back just to get home at midnight. She still makes less than 30K a year, but sends me money anytime she can JUST BECAUSE. Even when she really needs money to pay the bills, she never asks me for it and when I offer to give her the money, she never accepts it.
Your mother sounds like a child who never grew up. She is clearly too self-absorbed to understand and respect the mother/daughter relationship. If I were you, I would take a big long break from her to make her see how fucked up it is what she's doing to you, but she probably STILL won't understand. She sounds like a bratty teenager, to say the least. I really hope you get out of this toxic relationship QUICKLY before she drains you even more.
I give you major major major kudos for putting up with her shit this long. She is your mother. She should be providing for you, not the other way around.
MissEgo
02-27-2011, 09:45 AM
I'm even getting the "So, when are you getting a job?" from my BOYFRIEND'S mom now. She hasn't worked in years, and relies on my boyfriend to pay her rent and groceries, and now that him and I are getting a place he won't be supporting her, so she pretty much hates me for taking him away.
Moms should have to pass like, an annual evaluation on their sanity or something.
shasta
02-27-2011, 10:01 AM
Just move out. Find a cheap studio in a decent area- maybe in someone's basement.
Do it soon! Think how much more money you could make if you lived without your mom!
edit: I just saw that you are moving out, and with your SO. Look for bigger basement apartments. They can be in really nice neighborhoods. You will get that nice place to live down the line. Even in you place is kind of crappy, im sure you will find ways to make it nice.
Dancing Days
02-27-2011, 10:29 AM
Just move out. Find a cheap studio in a decent area- maybe in someone's basement.
Do it soon! Think how much more money you could make if you lived without your mom!
edit: I just saw that you are moving out, and with your SO. Look for bigger basement apartments. They can be in really nice neighborhoods. You will get that nice place to live down the line. Even in you place is kind of crappy, im sure you will find ways to make it nice.
Shasta! I just read what you wrote out loud to my husband and both of us are cracking up. When we were just going out, we lived together in a basement of a house that had 3 other people living in it. The ground floor belonged to a single bachelor and the upstairs belonged to a middle-aged married couple. It was actually a lot of fun living in a basement.
The house was in a SUPER rich town, too! Like, billionaire status rich. #1 school district in the state. All utilities included. :)
MissEgo
02-27-2011, 11:39 AM
We signed a 6 month lease on a carriage house. It's basically a studio apartment above someone's detached garage. Rent is cheap, my little baby (dog) is allowed, and it's in the BEST area in town! Close to grocery stores and bus route and everything. :D
MistressOnyx
09-15-2013, 06:47 PM
I started out saying I was doing psychic work. When I started, I was working when my kids were at school and my husband was at school. I told him eventually but I didnt want to say anything until I felt it was something I was comfy with. He was okay with it since it was in the day when no one is home and it's extra cash. I think your best bet woud be to set up the profile as a teacher since you are a nerd bird and can pull off teaching. Show your mom the mock profile. Try to find some people that you can actually do a little work for, just to make it look legit. Then tell her because it is tutoring and people feel more confident in private, you have to keep your door closed and locked during work hours. Sling her some green and mom will back off. But in the meantime, save up and get out. You would hate for something to go wrong and this mess up the relationship you have with her.