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Mindy Bares All
04-30-2011, 01:41 PM
No, I don't think it was. Women get emotional intimacy elsewhere all the time, from our friends, therapists, person who does our hair sometimes, lol.

If I know Djoser, its going to be about the physical aspect, the part that is arguably cheating.

Well the point is, depending on the couple and their established viewpoints of cheating, it is cheating.

rickdugan
05-01-2011, 12:19 PM
Frankly I can't figure out why this thread blew up like this. AJ's living situation could never be my gig simply because I want a more traditional household for my children - nevermind the fact that one woman's emotional needs and drama are quite enough in my life :P - but I don't really care about what a bunch of grown adults do with each other and don't understand why anyone else would either.

Though I am still interested to understand how AJ would cope if MM decided that she needed another guy in the mix. ;) But if MM and everyone else is happy with this arrangement then why would anyone else care?

natilinia rouge
05-01-2011, 04:48 PM
actually when la girl said about he bf being ugly i dont think she ment that she was dating an ugly bf just that she wanted to find an attractive bf not that she was dating an unattractive bf just wanted to post tht out lol :P i could b wrong tho ha

Almost Jaded
05-01-2011, 08:01 PM
Natalina - your sig fucking rocks, lol.

I think that what kthnx is postulating has some merit to it, but ultimately 'armchair analyzing' her by her posts isn't going to paint a very accurate picture. Again - I think there's something to what is being said, for sure - but without talking to a person 1 on 1 for hours - well, even then you only get a partial glimpse.

And really, therein lies my beef with lagirl. She knows nothing about us, our life, our lifestyle, or our relationship beyond what is posted here - yet she was drawing all kinds of ridiculous conclusions and judgements. And reacting way over the top when this was pointed out to her. Definitely not one with a lot of worldly experience under her belt yet, and someone who actively resists changes in POV based on observation. Selective learning, lol.

The only reason GF#1 can't marry into the relationship has do to with the laws in this nation being based on a particular viewpoint. Many laws in this country follow that mold, and many people from many reaches of life are trying to change that. I actually don't find that as offensive as some do, simply because those laws were created by a majority in the first place - that's what people wanted. I have trouble with our entire society being rooted to a particular line of thinking though - that's what leads to attitudes like lagirls, and stagnates society in the long run. :shrug:

In any event, she (GF) is treated as a valued and real part of a real relationship, piece of paper or none.

And Rick - I've already clarified that GF#2 dated around a bit, and that GF#1 has a serious love interest mitigated only by distance. And I've actually tried to push MM toward dating one or two people I knew her to have interest in, but she refused, insisting that as far as MALES go, she's stuck with me by her own choice. :shrug:

princessjas
05-02-2011, 06:09 PM
Natalina - your sig fucking rocks, lol.

I think that what kthnx is postulating has some merit to it, but ultimately 'armchair analyzing' her by her posts isn't going to paint a very accurate picture. Again - I think there's something to what is being said, for sure - but without talking to a person 1 on 1 for hours - well, even then you only get a partial glimpse.

And really, therein lies my beef with lagirl. She knows nothing about us, our life, our lifestyle, or our relationship beyond what is posted here - yet she was drawing all kinds of ridiculous conclusions and judgements. And reacting way over the top when this was pointed out to her. Definitely not one with a lot of worldly experience under her belt yet, and someone who actively resists changes in POV based on observation. Selective learning, lol.

The only reason GF#1 can't marry into the relationship has do to with the laws in this nation being based on a particular viewpoint. Many laws in this country follow that mold, and many people from many reaches of life are trying to change that. I actually don't find that as offensive as some do, simply because those laws were created by a majority in the first place - that's what people wanted. I have trouble with our entire society being rooted to a particular line of thinking though - that's what leads to attitudes like lagirls, and stagnates society in the long run. :shrug:

In any event, she (GF) is treated as a valued and real part of a real relationship, piece of paper or none.

And Rick - I've already clarified that GF#2 dated around a bit, and that GF#1 has a serious love interest mitigated only by distance. And I've actually tried to push MM toward dating one or two people I knew her to have interest in, but she refused, insisting that as far as MALES go, she's stuck with me by her own choice. :shrug:

I'd like to add to AJ's post a bit. From the female POV. I originally thought that I had to be the dominant female.....but as I've kicked around the idea, I realize, I don't ever want to be 2nd, but wouldn't mind being a sister gf. That is actually probably my ideal situation.

As long as I didn't feel like I was in second place and I had a strong love connection with the girl, I'd be fine with an equal threesome. If MM loves AJ and gf and gf loves both of them, and AJ loves both of them....where is there a reason to be jealous?

Also, who said gf wants to be married? Maybe they are going to be "married" but not legally, or do a handfasting sorta thing? Maybe they've already said vows? I know, I said vows that mean MUUUUCH more than my marriage certificate a year or more before our actual wedding.

I think this brings up a point that was made to me when I was preggo with child #2. Many people told me I'd have to be careful not to show it because I would love one child "more" than the other. I don't understand this. With love, romantic, platonic, whatever, I love or I don't. If I love, it is 100%, and loving one person will not some how "take away" love from another. Therefore, although I'm afraid of marriage, I'd love to have a sister gf and wouldn't feel at all threatened or demeaned by it. ;)

Djoser
05-02-2011, 10:58 PM
You do realize that's not how male strip clubs work, like, at all, right? Its just not the same dynamic at all. Some dirty stuff might go on, but its the exception rather than the rule.

Would you seriously be pissed if your lady had a girls night out and got a lapdance at the male revue? Because I've had many and only one of them involved any genital rubbing because the dancer was high on X and initiated everything himself...even then, it was only for a few seconds. Every other dance I've had from men was clean fun.

Obviously I've never been to one.

Wait a minute, we all went to that one place for a while that night during SWfest here, hell I even gave you girls ones when you ran out lol.

The one time my girlfriend went to a male stripclub it was in Canada, a very big upscale place, apparently. The 2 guys she got dances from rubbed their bare dicks on her, took out and felt her tits, and also finger fucked her girlfriend in the pussy and ass--and I'm sure a lot more could have gone on but she was in love at the time so was a good girl. For all I know she really grabbed the cock and got a thrill--no skin off my back now of course, but at the time I would have been pissed.

Of course that might be different than the USA male clubs, but I have heard the male dancers do get their dicks sucked regularly in some places' private rooms, and it's apparently no big deal at all.


But whether or how often it goes on; the point I was trying to make is that prolonged genital to genital grinding matches are not 'innocent fun' for most people who care about their SOs.

I do not want the woman I am in love with to grab other guys' dicks for any reason at all (other than the grinding she might have to do for a job). If I were a woman, and my husband came home after getting his cock directly stimulated by another woman (by grinding, stickshifting, or worse as goes on in so many clubs) for more than a half hour, and he wanted to fuck me? No fucking way. But I wouldn't threaten to cut it off, I'd just be out the fucking door.

Nothing against people who like the idea. But most people are not built to like the idea of other peoples' genitals rubbing on their wives or husbands genitals, period. And I don't see anything at all wrong with that. Now watching a stage routine? Who fucking cares?

KS_Stevia
05-03-2011, 03:42 PM
Obviously I've never been to one.

Wait a minute, we all went to that one place for a while that night during SWfest here, hell I even gave you girls ones when you ran out lol.


That was a gay strip club, totally different environment. Nothing like all-male revues for women only. Remember, these were men who liked men, anything can go because its dudes.



The one time my girlfriend went to a male stripclub it was in Canada, a very big upscale place, apparently. The 2 guys she got dances from rubbed their bare dicks on her, took out and felt her tits, and also finger fucked her girlfriend in the pussy and ass--and I'm sure a lot more could have gone on but she was in love at the time so was a good girl. For all I know she really grabbed the cock and got a thrill--no skin off my back now of course, but at the time I would have been pissed.


Here, the men must wear brief type shorts and I've never seen an exposed penis in the clubs. The layout is too open. Now...after parties, hehe, different. }:D



Of course that might be different than the USA male clubs, but I have heard the male dancers do get their dicks sucked regularly in some places' private rooms, and it's apparently no big deal at all.


That was popularized by some fake staged internet porn. Not saying it never happens, but it absolutely doesn't happen in the popular male revues, such as Chippendale and La Bare.

Now, I've been to a private party for a girls birthday, and one of those guys came out to dance. When the lights "suddenly" dimmed, he got very touchy with her. But he asked her if it was ok and she was single, he didn't push anything upon her she didn't want.




But whether or how often it goes on; the point I was trying to make is that prolonged genital to genital grinding matches are not 'innocent fun' for most people who care about their SOs.


Its ok for me as long as he isn't spending money he doesn't have on this, or using it as a replacement, versus enhancement, for our relationship. But I'm a bit closer to Minxx and Jaded in my mindset, not so traditional.

It would be weird and hypocrytical for me, as a (former) stripper, to shun my man from lapdances. In fact, we just went over the weekend and he had much dick grinding, boobie sucking, and ass grabbing. The girl was ok with it, he obviously liked it, and we fucked liked champs when we got home



I do not want the woman I am in love with to grab other guys' dicks for any reason at all (other than the grinding she might have to do for a job). If I were a woman, and my husband came home after getting his cock directly stimulated by another woman (by grinding, stickshifting, or worse as goes on in so many clubs) for more than a half hour, and he wanted to fuck me? No fucking way. But I wouldn't threaten to cut it off, I'd just be out the fucking door.

Nothing against people who like the idea. But most people are not built to like the idea of other peoples' genitals rubbing on their wives or husbands genitals, period. And I don't see anything at all wrong with that. Now watching a stage routine? Who fucking cares?

Fair enough, you're attitude is the norm. Now tell me, if your woman went to a male strip club with the girls, got a dance with some light grinding, but didn't get fingered or see an exposed dick, would you really end the relationship?

blahb
05-03-2011, 05:42 PM
Solely coming on to defend myself against the slander you chose to post AFTER i was banned and thus unable to defend myself. i am sorry if you are so insecure about your own "sexually liberal" ways that you need to call me a prude. if anything i was considered a whore in highschool, i just didnt realize it at the time because i was so brainwashed by my slutty peers that i thought i needef to have sex to be cool. no guy has ever left me for a sluttier girl. in fact, guyswho break up with me tend to later get with plainer janes. if i am mad at any one for being "sexually liberated" it is because these sluts are the reason i lost my virginity to a guy who didnt really care about me and the reason why i skanked around with hideous stupid men in highschool, because iw as so desperate to be sexual and "cool" i just gave myself away to anyone. i realize now how incredibly stupid that was and its sad that there are still women out there over the age of 18 who think that being slutty is cool. this isnt what happens when soemoen is raised conservatively. in fact, i wish i did live in a conservative bubble...but no, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GROW UP IN A SOCIETY THAT TELLS YOU YOU NEED TO BE SLUTTY TO BE COOL. i lost my virginigy at 16. i was sneaking guys in the house who werent even that hot. i am sure you and MM think its cool to be slutty, but over time i realized its not, and it just saddens me that i EVER thought it was cool, because its such a damaging and depressing, and unfullfilling lifestyle. and im sorry that you think 50+ partners by age 22 is "moderate." I have a moderate amount of experience. MM has a ridiculously high amount, and i personally would never want to date a guy who has such low standards that he would have sex with that many people. i want to be one of few, not one of millions.

i also do not date ugly guys (not since i was 18). i do not currently have a bf so i didnt call any guy i dated ugly, but thanks for implying. i added in attractive to my statement because i know it is easy to find a faithful guy who is ugly. and dying to spend all his time with you..and honestly id rather be single than date a guy who is ugly, so thats why i added in "attractive" because thats quite a bit harder to find. and i dont date nerds because i think theyre more prudish. in fact, almost every guy i have been with has been sexually hyperactive, to the point where im currently wondering if there is something wrong with this new guy i just started seeing because he is not trying to rape me yet.i am simply more attracted to the boy next door dorky look than the douchebag look. and regardless, any guy who would dump a girl because of her sexual skill is a complete douchebag and not someone worth going after anyway. i date mature guys, not idiotic immature 16 year old boys. men dump me because we have nothing in common, we are both bored with the relationship, or because our attraction to each other is shallow and is never gonna grow into real love...not because of the way i fuck. im sorry if the guys you date are so ridiculously immature that they would actually dump you for lack of sexual skill. i think that is something someone with a douchebag look would do.

and i do have friends, but unlike me, they work 9-5 or are in school full time, so our schedules clash. i have to take time off work in order to see them ,and the reason i had "free time" to post on SW is because i read SW when work is slow. and considering iwork in LA, work is almost always slow. I dont really read it much outside of work. i think the fact that i wrote almost every respond on this thread on my cell phone would be enough to show that im not just sitting at home waiting for people to respond to me.

and Almost Jaded, you must think we are idiots. if you truly disagreed with the laws of this country you would either move or not get married at all. you are clearly playing favorites by choicing to marry one gf and not the other and one of these days gf number 2 is gonna wise up and realize shes worth more than that.

and ROUGE, i show my boobs FOR MONEY. MM does it for free. thats why i turn my nose up at her. like i said before, id respect her more if she was a hoooker and wasnt just going around having sex with lots of people recreationally

Djoser
05-03-2011, 07:37 PM
That was a gay strip club, totally different environment. Nothing like all-male revues for women only. Remember, these were men who liked men, anything can go because its dudes.

Well of course. But technically I couldn't say 'I've never been to one.'

It was a little weird being in there, but not nearly as weird as I thought it would be. I had fun watching you all tip the guys. I was definitely ready to go after about 30-40 minutes though. Oh and BTW a lot of the dancers are straight in there. Go figure in a male stripclub for gays in Key fucking West, the guys aren't gay. :D


That was popularized by some fake staged internet porn. Not saying it never happens, but it absolutely doesn't happen in the popular male revues, such as Chippendale and La Bare.

Yeah I knew none of that shit was going on in Le Bare, or the Chippendale review.



Its ok for me as long as he isn't spending money he doesn't have on this, or using it as a replacement, versus enhancement, for our relationship. But I'm a bit closer to Minxx and Jaded in my mindset, not so traditional...

Fair enough, you're attitude is the norm. Now tell me, if your woman went to a male strip club with the girls, got a dance with some light grinding, but didn't get fingered or see an exposed dick, would you really end the relationship?

Well it didn't end the relationship in question. That happened a year and a half later for a lot of other reasons. I've even seen my SOs give lapdances on the occasions I worked with them, or when stopping by the club (it had lapdance couches all around the walls of the main room, no booths or curtains). Sometimes it was weird, sometimes it was just funny. I wouldn't want to do it regularly though, to say the least.

I could care less about a SO seeing the dick, that ain't shit compared to getting rubbed with one on her pussy, even through a couple of microns of fabric. I was surprised to see how few guys in Playgirl measured up, actually.

But it really depends on the girl. I've had girlfriends who told me they had come from lapdances before (before I met them but whatever) and it made me laugh. But if it's really serious, no I don't want dicks rubbing on her or vica versa, unless it's at work and her job.

The way I look at is this. Say she went to a party and spent a half hour in a bedroom dry humping a total stranger. I'd be fucking pissed and probably dump her even if I was in love, or maybe because of it. I don't really see the difference between that and getting lapdances in a male stripclub (presuming they were available).

But there is a difference in my mind between that and her working, of course. So I don't view myself as being "so traditional', even if I am more traditional than a lot of other people here.

I've dated women that it wouldn't bother me at all about. It's all about the comfort zone. God knows most women could never handle me getting my ass and dick regularly grabbed in the booth, including about half the dancers.

Did I tell you the story of the 14,000$ chain on the DJ booth? ;D

MissMynxx
05-03-2011, 09:30 PM
Solely coming on to defend myself against the slander you chose to post AFTER i was banned and thus unable to defend myself.

-snip-

and ROUGE, i show my boobs FOR MONEY. MM does it for free. thats why i turn my nose up at her. like i said before, id respect her more if she was a hoooker and wasnt just going around having sex with lots of people recreationally


*facepalm* R-really? Like, for serious? *sigh* This just ... it's gonna haunt me forever, isn't it?

Well then. Real fast - I show my boobs for free? To people I wanna fuck - yes. I'd hope you don't charge your boyfriends or hook-ups. Cuz' then they really aren't boyfriends or hook-ups. Then they're John's and that kinda makes you a hooker. I digress. My boobs are pay-by-the-minute at work, TYVM. ;D

On to bigger and better things. Like male strippers. All I have to add to the conversation in a productive manner is that men who go to a strip club to see boobies generally do not appreciate a face full of nutsack.

That being said - when the male dancers are in the Showroom, and the VIP room is one door that-a-way *points left* - TAKE THE DUDE TO VIP. He will not appreciate you accidentally walking him to the Showroom instead. Your tip will suffer. And you will not be able to blame him.

Male strip clubs are awkward. I personally would NEVER be caught dead buying lap dances from a dude. Or whatever it is they do. Gimme the boobies! }:D

Djoser
05-03-2011, 09:44 PM
Ok as of this point I can now delete posts and close this thread, so everybody chill.

Please, just stick to the topic, or the various non-dramatic offshoots of it, at least.

;D

I'm leaving it for now because what's done is done and I have a date with a hot little Ukrainian (no not that one KS_Stevia, visa tricky like you said but by fall I think).

Any more dueling and I will delete the posts, and maybe close the thread. I kind of like the way it's going other than the little problem there.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-04-2011, 10:19 AM
And I thought I was going to be bored tonight...

well looks like I'm up to speed.

So I believe this thread started out about the cutting off husbands wee wee for visiting SC's. Well I don't see the issue about her threatening.

I think regardless on why the stripper is there ie "make money only". Men are not there to say spend money with their eyes closed. Actually after reading a few other threads back. I see that girls no longer make the brunt of their money doing stage shows. Most is now made in VIP and LDs which means that men are now holding money because they want to be able to do much more then just look.

From all of the extras , wandering fingers in vagina and anus that now goes on I can see and understand why this wife would be upset. It's more personal when you're going to interact with a live , breathing person that you can touch, see smell and continue to do so. So Yeah I got why the wife is pissed. I feel as long as she doesn't storm the strip club blowing away dancers then she's fine.

It's her husband and apparently he's gotten caught so she's sick of him going. It doesn't surprise me to see a wife respond this way. The funny thing is many men that feel it's ok and no big deal may turn around and have a fit if he walked in on his wife getting touched all over by some hot hung stud.

I think my suggestion to this lady would be to get out and seek some hot straight clubs for male dancers and make sure she's using her husband's pay check for the shows.

I can imagine being married to this guy, they're probably both up in age ( didn't read the article yet) but he's tired of looking at her body and wants to now focus on something younger and tighter. Also it would suck if he was cheap at home with her and spending hundreds at these clubs. Yeah I now just feel sorry that she's having to feel sadly like 2nd best. In worse cases if he no longer touches her, she'll feel unloved and unwanted. That's got to take a toll on a woman's self esteem that she's stuck with someone that no longer wants her in that way. So her actions speak volumes of saying enough is enough.

I really don't blame her at all.

I'm pretty sure alot of wives have done much worse. She may just want to get a divorce if it bothers her that much because realistically we really don't know how far he takes things at an SC. Is he in a high contact club? Licking titties, finger banging girls ? licking vag or getting bj's? Really most of the time alot more is going on then just ooh I want to get a beer and look. So I do understand. Most likely he's cheated on her already.

I mean I was just in the " NO GLITTER" thread. Or something with that name. Why would a guy care ? Well if he's single he's not. But a married man is not going to go home to his wife with all of that shit on him thinking "ooh I was working late" is actually going to fly.Marriage has broken up over the whole " I was at the strip club conversation" so this response should come of no surprise really.

It's death until we part not SC until we part even though being caught has parted some semi happy couples. So all in all I guess the motto is "DON'T GET CAUGHT".

Also this above obviously doesn't apply to single, divorced , widowed, men dating strippers and the like . I think we all know if you're with someone in the industry your view will be quiet different then people that aren't.

Almost Jaded
05-04-2011, 12:11 PM
I just don't understand crazy jealous types. :shrug:

Mindy Bares All
05-04-2011, 08:16 PM
I just don't understand crazy jealous types. :shrug:

Allow me to explain!! :D

Essentially these "crazy jealous types" have no confidence, no assurance that they are attractive, have mate potential, etc, whatsoever. They don't believe in themselves, and somehow, they landed a mate. Now that they have someone, that MUST mean that they are good looking, awesome, etc, whatever. And they are deathly afraid of losing such said mate, because that would mean that they are not actually good looking, awesome, etc. So they try to preserve the relationship AT ALL COSTS.

Any questions?

Almost Jaded
05-04-2011, 08:27 PM
Priceless!

Kellydancer
05-04-2011, 08:32 PM
What Mindy said was on the mark. The most jealous women I've known were women so afraid of being alone.

Djoser
05-05-2011, 12:33 AM
I'd tend to agree with that--except of course the fact that people who prefer their partners stay away from other peoples' genitals (outside of work) are mostly certainly not 'crazy jealous'. Cutting off the penis, or threatening to, is certainly crazy jealous.

A truly confident woman, on discovering her husband had just paid several hundred dollars to dry hump strange women and maybe get a blow job, would simply leave his ass and go find someone better.

But yeah, inner weakness is often manifested by extreme jealousy, as well as in other ways, like wanting attention all the time, always wanting to be 'right' about everything, or always putting down people with different lifestyles, etc.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-05-2011, 02:10 AM
I'd tend to agree with that--except of course the fact that people who prefer their partners stay away from other peoples' genitals (outside of work) are mostly certainly not 'crazy jealous'. Cutting off the penis, or threatening to, is certainly crazy jealous.

A truly confident woman, on discovering her husband had just paid several hundred dollars to dry hump strange women and maybe get a blow job, would simply leave his ass and go find someone better.

But yeah, inner weakness is often manifested by extreme jealousy, as well as in other ways, like wanting attention all the time, always wanting to be 'right' about everything, or always putting down people with different lifestyles, etc.

^ This Exactly. Why do you think many married men hide that they've been to a strip club? Hmm I think the paying to "dry hump strange women" and "blow jobs" and much much more would = ugly divorced. Also how would this play out in a court? would people feel sorry for the husband that took a stripper to a hotel and paid for sex? Or the sweet wife waiting at home , children in bed and dinner ready? Not only would the husband be viewed as a monster, but the news of his "activities" would spread through the community. ( Even though many men in that same community would be doing the same thing,,) he would be painted out to be garbage. If children find out in later years, that could affect how they view either men or how they feel they should act themselves. All of that because he got a bj in vip or because he took a stripper to a hotel? That's quite a bit to loose. So the "don't get caught" is usually the best policy when one is cheating.

Also a woman should never be labeled as insecure because they don't want their husband dry humping another woman or because they don't want their husband sticking fingers into another woman's vagina. If people really believe that then there is really something wrong with today's relationships. IMO

If a guy is going to have a few beers and look fine. But still how long is that going to stimulate the senses? That's usually how most SC goers start out. Maybe they could get going to a VS catalog , but that doesn't do it anymore, ok porn mag, not enough, porn video , great but not really that fun these days, sc.. ok I'll go to look, hmm table dance... even better... LD... ok now this is fun.... LD can I touch you here... ok now this is great......LD BJ.... ooh this is the better.........LD no longer that much fun.... HOTEL. (LET'S FUCK)

Not saying that it always ends up this way, but over time some things don't seem as much fun any longer and the bar needs to keep being raised. You can easily look in the blue section and see how something started out just for fun .. just to look and over time it's changed to specifically going to get laid.

I've talked to many guys about this topic in general about what turned them on in the beginning and how they've been desensitized over the years. Now say in the cam world , they need to see a vagina opened up... dripping toys in all holes... vomit scat urine etc. When seeing a woman's nipple used to just make them go bonkers. So what worked before , may no longer have any effect.

Almost Jaded
05-05-2011, 07:50 AM
^I hate to acknowledge that that last part is truer than I wish, but I kinda have to, lol. I've "plateaued" in that I like where I'm at and don't need more and more extreme things to get me going - BUT - I have found that the longer I stay at "this level", the less things that worked before have any effect. I bought 3 dances from one of the hottest strippers I've ever seen last week and not only didn't even get hard, I didn't even start to, lol. There were other things missing from the mix, and I'm "desensitized" in the sense that arousal requires a real connection these days. :shrug:

princessjas
05-05-2011, 08:46 AM
^I hate to acknowledge that that last part is truer than I wish, but I kinda have to, lol. I've "plateaued" in that I like where I'm at and don't need more and more extreme things to get me going - BUT - I have found that the longer I stay at "this level", the less things that worked before have any effect. I bought 3 dances from one of the hottest strippers I've ever seen last week and not only didn't even get hard, I didn't even start to, lol. There were other things missing from the mix, and I'm "desensitized" in the sense that arousal requires a real connection these days. :shrug:

I think this comes with age. I am hornier than I've ever been (being 35 is akin to being an 18 yr old guy). lol buuuut, I have to LIKE the person these days. Physically attractive is no longer enough, I gotta have more than that! Sorta cool, sorta sucks! :-\

Djoser
05-05-2011, 01:53 PM
^I hate to acknowledge that that last part is truer than I wish, but I kinda have to, lol. I've "plateaued" in that I like where I'm at and don't need more and more extreme things to get me going - BUT - I have found that the longer I stay at "this level", the less things that worked before have any effect. I bought 3 dances from one of the hottest strippers I've ever seen last week and not only didn't even get hard, I didn't even start to, lol. There were other things missing from the mix, and I'm "desensitized" in the sense that arousal requires a real connection these days. :shrug:

I never really cared for lapdances for these reasons.

Once you've had the dances at home, from a girl you are fucking thoroughly, because she loves you and/or the sex is great?

A dance in a little room on a funky bench or chair, with desperate dudes all around right next to you, trying to grab ass because they will never get it any other way, by some girl who is pretending to enjoy rubbing her ass on your dick way too hard--I'll take a pass and wait for my girl of the moment to give me the real thing later.





Also a woman should never be labeled as insecure because they don't want their husband dry humping another woman or because they don't want their husband sticking fingers into another woman's vagina. If people really believe that then there is really something wrong with today's relationships. IMO

I agree 100%. There's nothing wrong with open relationships so long as both really want it. There is definitely something wrong with people who think this is the only option for truly 'secure' people, and everyone else is somehow flawed. It's not a flaw...it's called being human.

Mindy Bares All
05-05-2011, 02:14 PM
What is everybody even talking about on here anymore? I'm subscribed, but I can't read all of the drama. :D lol.

Djoser
05-05-2011, 08:30 PM
No more drama. ;D I cleaned some of it up, and will delete any more of it. But you're cool!

Elusive21
05-05-2011, 08:43 PM
I go all the time. Not because I'm horny, not to get off. I go because I like strip clubs. I like the atmosphere, the music - I go instead of dance clubs. It's fun. IF I meet a girl tht turns me on, my SO's benefit from it - I come home even hornier than usual and they get fucked well and proper, lol.

Like I said - if a guy's going there looking for extras or whatnot - there's a problem. Otherwise - I don't see the big deal. :shrug:

completely agree.

and that goes for either me going alone to the titty bar or my hubby going by himself or some of his friends. its a fun harmless diversion - that's all. nothing to get upset about 8)

Elusive21
05-06-2011, 10:56 AM
Almost Jades and MyssMynxx (and GF #1 if she is on here) you guys are my heroes ;D Me and hubby are polyamours and dated one of my closest friends for almost a year so I can totally relate to your guys situation. It always amazed me how shocked and insecure people would act when the three of us would stroll into a bar or club holding hands. Yes, it was fun to laugh at those people.

Almost Jaded
05-06-2011, 12:57 PM
Since we've become a little less secretive - okay, a lot more open, lol - about our lifestyle and relationship, it AMAZES me how many other people are like us that we never suspected. People pull us aside ALL THE TIME and tell us - quietly - that thy admire our courage, that they've been swingers or poly for years and never let it be public or that they've always wanted to but were afraid of peoples perceptions, or some other version of one of those. Like, A LOT.

The most recent was OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS!! Early 30's, happily married nice middle class military family with 2 younger kids (6 & 2)... One day he & I are talking, and he finally just comes out and asks - they've always kinda wondered what the deal was next door, seeing 3 women come & go, and knowing MM & I are engaged. So I told him the whole thing, beginning to end. He got all excited and asked if he & his wife could talk to us about it some time; they've had a couple of threesomes and always enjoyed it, and there was one girl in particular they wanted to get more serious with...

He had a couple of out of town buddies over that weekend, next night his wife sent the three of them off to a SC with me (this is a very recent story - find my post a couple pages back where I say "off to a SC with my neighbors...") and we had a great time. Later that night he asked where GF#2 was, they hadn't seen her for a while & her truck was gone. I told him about the breakup nd whatnot - he was really bummed; turns out he & his wife BOTH had quite a little crush on her but never got up the gumption to ask what the situation was. Thought the other 2 were just rooming here & worried what we woulda thought if they as a couple had asked her out, LMAO!

So many more stories like this one. Non-monogamy isn't as uncommon as you might think!

kthnx
05-06-2011, 07:32 PM
Lol what happened to my other posts on this thread?

Athenathefabulous
05-06-2011, 07:56 PM
Frankly I can't figure out why this thread blew up like this. AJ's living situation could never be my gig simply because I want a more traditional household for my children - nevermind the fact that one woman's emotional needs and drama are quite enough in my life :P - but I don't really care about what a bunch of grown adults do with each other and don't understand why anyone else would either.

Though I am still interested to understand how AJ would cope if MM decided that she needed another guy in the mix. ;) But if MM and everyone else is happy with this arrangement then why would anyone else care?


ok i dont want to read thru all of this thread, i read the first few posts that blew up then skimmed to this one... but i would like to point out that this post pretty much supports AJ's argument. you claim to be part of a traditional relationship, yet you openly admit to cheating on your wife on a regular basis. monogamy is hard and the more i observe people the more i am convinced that we just are not wired for it.

also i wish i did click on this thread earlier when it was still small enough for me to read thru it with my short attention span, i definitely have some strong opinions on the matter (mostly on AJ's/MMs side) and i had no idea why lagirl got banned for a bit... after reading a couple of her posts it is now completely obvious.

rickdugan
05-06-2011, 08:08 PM
ok i dont want to read thru all of this thread, i read the first few posts that blew up then skimmed to this one... but i would like to point out that this post pretty much supports AJ's argument. you claim to be part of a traditional relationship, yet you openly admit to cheating on your wife on a regular basis. monogamy is hard and the more i observe people the more i am convinced that we just are not wired for it.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can say that I'm not well wired for it. Conversely, however, I see many monogamous relationships that seem to do quite well, including those of friends and family of mine.

It's a conundrum to be sure.

Athenathefabulous
05-06-2011, 08:12 PM
^^i believe one of aj's main points was many people supposedly in monogomous relationships are not. sure, there really are some people who do not cheat, but plenty of people do. im assuming your wife and a good portion of your friends,neighbors, etc assume you are faithful?

Vyanka
05-06-2011, 08:17 PM
shes latin. threatening to cut off our sig other's dick isnt crazy for us, its normal. hispanic people are just very possessive over their sig other in general...some are nice and call it passionate.

I'm Latina. That shit is crazy to me & NOT fkn normal. Don't lump us all to look like crazy bitches.

rickdugan
05-06-2011, 09:50 PM
^^i believe one of aj's main points was many people supposedly in monogomous relationships are not. sure, there really are some people who do not cheat, but plenty of people do. im assuming your wife and a good portion of your friends,neighbors, etc assume you are faithful?

Athena, I see where you are going with this. Conversely, however, how many people are wired to allow their partners to have sex with others without feeling jealousy and betrayal?

This is the conundrum. Monogamy may seem unnatural simply because we are attracted to a variety of people, but its very existence is due, in large part, to the territorial instincts that we also have.

For whatever reason, it seems that women are almost always the "poly" in purported polyamorous relationships, a situation which I believe also has roots in our animal instincts. All of AJs protests, shoulder shrug icons and deflecting comments to the contrary, I truly wonder how he would react if MM was being fucked senseless on a regular basis by a cut and hung 25 year old guy. And if he is truly unperturbed by the thought of it then he is a rare breed indeed.

Your very use of the term "cheat" in referring to what I do speaks volumes on the topic.

Yes many people assume that I am the perfect family guy. However, there is a reason that most cheating stays in the shadows, including my own.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-06-2011, 10:09 PM
Athena, I see where you are going with this. Conversely, however, how many people are wired to allow their partners to have sex with others without feeling jealousy and betrayal?

This is the conundrum. Monogamy may seem unnatural simply because we are attracted to a variety of people, but its very existence is due, in large part, to the territorial instincts that we also have.

For whatever reason, it seems that women are almost always the "poly" in purported polyamorous relationships, a situation which I believe also has roots in our animal instincts. All of AJs protests, shoulder shrug icons and deflecting comments to the contrary, I truly wonder how he would react if MM was being fucked senseless on a regular basis by a cut and hung 25 year old guy. And if he is truly unperturbed by the thought of it then he is a rare breed indeed.

Your very use of the term "cheat" in referring to what I do speaks volumes on the topic.

Yes many people assume that I am the perfect family guy. However, there is a reason that most cheating stays in the shadows, including my own.

These two parts here gave me chills. :O

rickdugan
05-06-2011, 10:19 PM
These two parts here gave me chills. :O

Cherry, how so?

cherryblossomsinspring
05-06-2011, 10:34 PM
Cherry, how so?

Well first the part of Aj's lifestyle and how it seems to be only women. I have yet to hear about a man moving in for fun with MM. It's funny how many posts I've crossed about their relationship that I now can remember her abbreviations. But yes I wondered this myself in passing those many posts. Is the relationship open to males? Would he be sexual with another man? If not why? would he get jealous?

Also the part about "you're own" and "the shadows" made me think of some steamy sex novel of passion and mystery. ...I Just got carried away with that last sentence. It seemed sexy in a naughty secretive but something where we as the reader get to voyeur through a keyhole.

I think I also wondered about you as well. I often think if you would be ok with your wife sleeping with other men. If not why? If so I wondered why stay married? I understand men like variety and some are just not into monogamy but I often wonder what the benefit is in staying with someone you cheat on. Or why not be in an open relationship instead similar to AJ's relationship.? I think this always goes through my head but I didn't want to intrude and question anyone directly since those feeling may be too personal.

Also while cheating and returning home do you feel ashamed or any remorse for your wife? Do you feel bad for cheating? Or do you feel nothing? Do you label it like an addiction or something more along the lines of it's just something I enjoy doing. Also what would you do if you caught your wife cheating?

Surprise
05-06-2011, 10:48 PM
my boyfriend isn't interested in bringing other women into our bed. :(

and if he went to the SC, as long as he wasn't spending $300 for a CR, i'd be okay with it. i know i like to look at naked men that aren't him, why should it be different that he wants to look at other naked women? they're just naked! if he were building emotional connections with these women, i'd be pissed. but i know he loves me, and is coming home to me. :)

Djoser
05-06-2011, 11:33 PM
^^^^I agree 100%, but merely looking at naked people is an entirely different matter than having them rub their pussy on your fully engorged penis for an hour or so.


...how many people are wired to allow their partners to have sex with others without feeling jealousy and betrayal?

This is the conundrum. Monogamy may seem unnatural simply because we are attracted to a variety of people, but its very existence is due, in large part, to the territorial instincts that we also have.

For whatever reason, it seems that women are almost always the "poly" in purported polyamorous relationships, a situation which I believe also has roots in our animal instincts. All of AJs protests, shoulder shrug icons and deflecting comments to the contrary, I truly wonder how he would react if MM was being fucked senseless on a regular basis by a cut and hung 25 year old guy. And if he is truly unperturbed by the thought of it then he is a rare breed indeed.



I have to agree with this. We may not be wired for monogamy, but we sure aren't wired to look on impassively as our lovers get royally fucked by strange people, or good friends either.

And while I don't doubt that AJ's situation is as he describes it, or that he genuinely cares for his SOs, most polyamorous relationships I have personally seen have definitely been a thinly disguised excuse for the guy to fuck as many women as he wants, while retaining the benefits of a monogamous relationship--with as many women as he can acquire. They are almost invariably con artists and manipulative, selfish people. But again, I'm sure AJs situation isn't like that.

tempest666
05-07-2011, 12:28 AM
I'm Latina. That shit is crazy to me & NOT fkn normal. Don't lump us all to look like crazy bitches.



Just me! :D And I'm a half breed!

Almost Jaded
05-07-2011, 04:22 AM
Athena, I see where you are going with this. Conversely, however, how many people are wired to allow their partners to have sex with others without feeling jealousy and betrayal?

The answer is pretty straight forward and simple - for the most part (hell - not just for the most part) feelings of jealousy and betrayal (especially as they apply to relationships) are conditioned responses.

Furthermore, jealousy isn't a real emotion, it's a secondary or even tertiary one. Jealousy is a mask for an underlying emotion. Once you grasp this and really start delving into WHY you feel jealous - into what you're REALLY feeling that jealousy is PROTECTING you from, things start to get very interesting very quickly. For most people, this is a VERY difficult process at first. VERY few people - even once exposed to this information - will bother to try beyond a very surface level of realization.


This is the conundrum. Monogamy may seem unnatural simply because we are attracted to a variety of people, but its very existence is due, in large part, to the territorial instincts that we also have.

Only partially true. Territorial responses are also somewhat learned behavior, though there are deeper roots for much of it. As it applies to relationships and partners, very little.


For whatever reason, it seems that women are almost always the "poly" in purported polyamorous relationships, a situation which I believe also has roots in our animal instincts.

Completely untrue. Many of the more visible examples throughout history as well as in modern times have been this way, yes. In modern poly circles, these relationships are no more the norm than any other arrangement. In fact, probably less so.

I can say for sure that for whatever reason (it's own topic right there), bisexuality is either more common or just easier to come out with for women in our society; this makes the couple seeking another woman more common to see. Society also conditions men in ways that make the territorial response more... I dunno, acceptable? Ingrained? Not really what I'm looking for. More a part of who we're expected to be is closer to what I'm after here. In any event, for whatever reason 'vanilla' and even monogamous people in general are less repulsed by a couple sharing a woman than a man. Not to say there aren't issues there - hello, look at this thread, lol - but it's "less" of an issue.


All of AJs protests, shoulder shrug icons and deflecting comments to the contrary, I truly wonder how he would react if MM was being fucked senseless on a regular basis by a cut and hung 25 year old guy. And if he is truly unperturbed by the thought of it then he is a rare breed indeed.

I have struggled with it. Never claimed otherwise. Being forced into the monogamous mold most of my life and having had to deal with deceptions and betrayals have left me with the same territorial instincts and jealousy issues as anyone. Worse than many, in fact. I've largely gotten past them. Not completely, I'll be the first to admit.

I'll even go so far as to bring up the fact that I've gad many conversations with MM to the effect that her monogamous mindset as it relates to her having other male partners while not only allowing me to have other female partners but flat pushing the issue (and hard) has held me back in this area. Until the last 9 months, my getting past it and un-learning those attitudes and responses was an almost completely academic exercise - because I didn't have to face a real world example up close and personal. There were other factors at play and other situations where I was able to find some foothold for my growing in this area, but I don't want to get TOO long here, lol. But yes - to a certain degree you're right, though to a very limited degree indeed, more than you probably think or realize.

GF#2 brought this one screaming into focus very early in her time with us. And believe me - just because you have other partners does NOT mean that dealing with these feelings are easier when they come up!! A common misconception easy to make if you've never lived this way. And yes - there were times when I struggled with it. Badly. I can't and won't say I'm 100% past it. I absolutely CAN say - with certainty - that when I say that if MM wanted to take another male partner and was honest and communicative about it I would be okay with it, I mean it.


Your very use of the term "cheat" in referring to what I do speaks volumes on the topic.

Society doesn't give much in the way of options when it comes to terms describing your situation and/or actions. :shrug:


Yes many people assume that I am the perfect family guy. However, there is a reason that most cheating stays in the shadows, including my own.

Yes there are reasons. Valid ones. Most or all of them rooted in the aforementioned learned behaviors and/or conditioned responses.


Thanks all for a great discussion! I hope it continues!

KS_Stevia
05-07-2011, 12:11 PM
Sorry Djoser, I just flat out disagree with you. Why would a confident woman leave if her partner got some grinding lapdances? That seems silly. If there was deception going on, or he was spending all of their money on lapdances, that's one thing.

I went to a club on a dead Monday afternoon w my man and watched him get some naughty extras and was fine with it. In fact I ran into some old friends from another club I worked at and left him to get all kinds of extras while we caught up.

Point is, from what we've seen here, is that it cannot be defined in black and white, all grey areas.

Kellydancer
05-07-2011, 04:04 PM
Sorry Djoser, I just flat out disagree with you. Why would a confident woman leave if her partner got some grinding lapdances? That seems silly. If there was deception going on, or he was spending all of their money on lapdances, that's one thing.

I went to a club on a dead Monday afternoon w my man and watched him get some naughty extras and was fine with it. In fact I ran into some old friends from another club I worked at and left him to get all kinds of extras while we caught up.

Point is, from what we've seen here, is that it cannot be defined in black and white, all grey areas.

I'm one of those who would likely leave if my partner got a grinding lap dance because I consider it cheating. I am confident but this to me does cross the line. I would not be upset or jealous if he checks out other women because as people we all do that.

A few people brought up cheating, and to me, if the other partner doesn't know that is morally wrong. I know marriages destroyed by infidelity and if I found out my husband was cheating there would be no second chance, ever. If monogamy doesn't work for him then he shouldn't marry and cheat. Perhaps we aren't wired for monogamy but I do know people who have never cheated. Have they wanted to? No doubt but they decided not to out of respect for the spouse. If you cheat on your spouse without them knowing, and without consent, you are disrespecting them. Just so I am clear I've known both genders who cheated and think lowly of cheaters, especially if it broke up the marriage. When I've told people I would divorce people have said "but you're Catholic and divorce is not allowed". Of which I say that is true, but the faith doesn't believe in cheating either.

Now that is not aimed at polyamorous relationships like AJ and MM, because those are agreements on both sides. However, my biggest problem with these relationships are when it is an excuse for the husband to stray while the wife stays faithful. I am thinking specifically of the fundamentalist Mormon (which aren't part of the mainstream church) we see on tv. In those cases the husband has several wives, often underage, while the wives are expected to remain faithful. Because of those I do disapprove of plural marriages, though would have no problem in the situation described here with Almost Jaded and MissMynx. I think they handle their relationship very mature.

Getting back to dancing I had many regulars who were married. The amount who asked me to cheat with them is astounding. In general the guys I've known who were notorious for this tended to be guys who didn't think highly of women and were often in situations where the wife couldn't leave, like a housewife. That repulsed me that these guys tried it because they knew their wife would stay and put up with it.

Djoser
05-07-2011, 04:16 PM
Sorry Djoser, I just flat out disagree with you. Why would a confident woman leave if her partner got some grinding lapdances? That seems silly. If there was deception going on, or he was spending all of their money on lapdances, that's one thing.

Which was almost certainly the case. The weak, insecure, possibly crazed SO, when confronted by a situation like this, might threaten to cut off the penis. The confident woman's alternative is to walk out on his lying ass. Before he spends any more of the kids' college savings getting handjobs.

But of course there are grey areas. I agree with you there. I've gone with an SO many times and gotten dances together, if she proposed I go with them to the private area. But usually I just let her go get the dances and chill at the couch or wherever til she gets back.

KS_Stevia
05-07-2011, 05:33 PM
Which was almost certainly the case. The weak, insecure, possibly crazed SO, when confronted by a situation like this, might threaten to cut off the penis. The confident woman's alternative is to walk out on his lying ass. Before he spends any more of the kids' college savings getting handjobs.

But of course there are grey areas. I agree with you there. I've gone with an SO many times and gotten dances together, if she proposed I go with them to the private area. But usually I just let her go get the dances and chill at the couch or wherever til she gets back.

Ok, I see what you're saying and agree.

Elusive21
05-07-2011, 06:19 PM
Sorry Djoser, I just flat out disagree with you. Why would a confident woman leave if her partner got some grinding lapdances? That seems silly. If there was deception going on, or he was spending all of their money on lapdances, that's one thing.

I went to a club on a dead Monday afternoon w my man and watched him get some naughty extras and was fine with it. In fact I ran into some old friends from another club I worked at and left him to get all kinds of extras while we caught up.

Point is, from what we've seen here, is that it cannot be defined in black and white, all grey areas.

that sounds hot! }:D}:D

last time me and hubby were in vegas he got some naughty dances from an asian girl that rubbed his dick and then put her throat on his junk and hummed! it was really hot - especially because she did the same thing to me when she danced for me in front of him.

of course i did have to assure him that this is not how I dance or the other girls in my small club in idaho

rickdugan
05-08-2011, 08:45 AM
AJ, frankly I believe that you have it completely backwards. IMHO feelings of jealousy and territorialism, particularly for men, are simply too pervasive and visceral to be simple conditioned responses. If this was not the case, I think that polyamory involving multiple guys would be much more common.

In fact, look at how much you are struggling with the concept of MM sleeping with another guy. I would argue that, rather than your current reaction being a conditioned response, you are actually working hard to "condition" yourself now to be ok with it. And I also think that GF2 and 3 are different from MM in this discussion, unless of course you intended to be engaged to either one of them as well.

You know, I don't care if you have 10 girls living in your house - if everyone is ok with it then go yee forth and prosper. :)

But I do believe in calling things what they are. ;)

Almost Jaded
05-08-2011, 01:39 PM
I already explained that poly involving multiple men is as common or more so than our situation. Jump on Polyamory.com and look at the different relationships there. Historically, polyandry is almost as common as polygamy. The only reason multiple women is more common historically at all is because men have a tendency to kill each other off en masse every couple of generations, so there were generally far more women than men around - especially young military-age men.

Jealousy is ABSOLUTELY a learned behavior. In many less westernized parts of the world, poly-style relationships aren't uncommon at all; in fact, there are numerous documented cases where as TV and internet are introduced to these societies, relationship issues never even heard of before start arising as they see western shows and movies and learn the concept of jealousy. Again - this has been documented repeatedly and the phenomenon is well known to anthropologists.

It's hard to grasp when you've been raised with it your whole life, going back many generations. But the fact is, we're not born with it any more than we're born knowing that death is a sad thing; in many even modern cultures, it's celebrated, not mourned. But that's not what any of US were raised with, is it? My extended family is deeply religious and most of them believe strongly that death is not the end, and while we will miss that person, it's not all that sad. As long as I can remember, funerals that I've attended for family were more of an excuse for a family reunion than anything; despite the fact that I broke away from the religious aspects of my upbringing in my mid teens, to this day my friends find it odd that i never cry at funerals and often want to go hang out and have fun afterward with old acquaintances. Why do you suppose I'm like that when most people cry like babies and fight depression for weeks after the passing of a close friend or relative? Because that's how I was raised.

Of course I struggled with it and sometimes still do - though not much. I was raised in the same world you were. For the first 32 years of my life, I was taught that cheating is bad and that other men were competition - and I went through some messed up relationships through my late 20's, and they did damage. Just like lagirl was taught to view other women as a threat. Unlearning that by learning to look past jealousy into the underlying insecurities and anger issues is frighteningly enlightening.

If plural marriage were legal, that wouldn't be an issue. Not OUR fault I can only marry one, and they can only marry one man. Each new girl entering the relationship understands the situation regarding our engagement, and that she will be treated as though we were if she so desires.

Thus, I also believe in calling things what they are. Learned behavior is learned behavior, and laws based on Victorian-era values are unfair to people who don't hold those same views. ;)

Mindy Bares All
05-08-2011, 04:53 PM
Again, jealousy arises when a person does not feel loved, does not love themselves, and fears losing the love that they believe they have.

Totally with AJ here. Learned behavior.

xoAnnaBanana
05-08-2011, 05:12 PM
Again, jealousy arises when a person does not feel loved, does not love themselves, and fears losing the love that they believe they have.
^Well said Mindy!

Also, I must say I didn't know too much about polyamorous relationships (and I still don't really understand the complications or implications, but what I knew previously before was the negative stigma attached to polyamorous relationships, thanks to the backlash from the TV show Sister Wives) but I must say I find MM & AJ's situation to be really interesting and it definitely seems to coincide with the theory that humans are not meant to be monogamous by nature. I feel much more enlightened about the subject and quite intrigued at the same time.

Not only that, but I respect the way AJ discusses his situation here with such honesty, openness and candor. I think that honesty is the biggest key in a relationship, whether you're involved with one partner or five. With that being said, I'm also a little confused as to why Rick feels the need to knock and chide AJ's situation when he openly posts on this forum about regularly cheating on his wife, yet carries on the charade of being monogamous from day to day? Isn't that kind of like the pot calling the kettle black? :shrug:

rickdugan
05-08-2011, 06:15 PM
Interesting AJ. Now I'm going to avoid taking my lead from a fringe group website, but I'm curious - which less westernized societies might you be referring to? Russia or the other former Soviet states? China? Eastern Europe? African tribal areas?

I am truly curious to know where males are so free with their mates that they do not feel territorial urges to prevent other guys from trying to fuck them. :)

Mindy Bares All
05-08-2011, 08:00 PM
^^^ Dude seriously?

First, don't knock it 'til you try it. Second, what gives you the impression that you have the right to judge?

AJ might know a little more about it, considering that he has to defend his stance, since it's a minority view, in our monogamy-centric society. Either way, he's probably done his homework. ;) I'm not suggesting that you take his word at face-value and accept that as gospel truth...

Either you're right or you're not. Either way, it's really not that serious.

If you're truly curious and I've mistaken your the tone of your comment, then a simple Google search for "Polygamy Cultures" should provide you with some enlightening material. ;)