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wall
12-17-2011, 02:24 PM
Recently a stripper let loose a wet sbd during a dance. Fortunately, it happened when she was grinding. I wasn't too annoyed but my trip was cut very short (and I had just finished doing laundry)...

I think you win. :-\

Coastie Joe
12-28-2011, 12:18 PM
A cold November day in 2007, Went to Cheaters in Providence. My pal bought me a dance with a stripper named Jasmine (how original). I don’t normally go with the bigger, or darker girls, I’m partial to slender blondes or freckled red heads, but what the heck. She sits me down and starts to grind her ass into me and then leans back on me. She was sweaty, stunk of BO and Cigs. I almost puked on her back. When she got up and bent over I could smell ass.
.
I almost ran out of the club, went home, threw my clothes away, and took a hot shower.
,
She reminded me of your mother Trabek

jbviper4
01-04-2012, 08:12 AM
Two come to mind.

1. A local dive I frequent started offering LDs (pasties club). I was game and asked a girl who danced there every single day if I could be her first. She agreed and then proceeded to literally sit on my lap, silently, shaking like a leaf in a tornado for the 3 minutes without ever saying a word or making eye contact.

Now I hear shes very practiced in the art, but the first experience was way too weird for a second go.

2. A gorgeous brunette approached me in a Toronto club and offered her company in a room. I was down as she was easily the most stunning girl in the club. We proceed to the room and she gets naked and lays across my lap, and when she started talking, I could tell she was under the influence of something way stronger than the Molson I was drinking. She couldn't get up or finish a sentence (never mind dance) and I went to get the bouncer, who picked her up and took her to the DR. I was finishing my beer and leaving when she came flying out of nowhere and took a swing at me claiming we did 8 dances. We were back there for two, neither of which she was upright or coherent for...

Being out of the country, I paid for the two and left with her screaming at me from the door of the club.

thuggoe
01-17-2012, 10:31 AM
The worst dance I've ever had was when I was sitting on a bar chair. When the girl came over and stood in front me and offered me a dollar dance I noticed a faint body odor smell and I thought ok that is just a faint armpit odor, she's working hard and just needs to reapply some deodorant and I accepted a dollar dance which would be over in a minute. It turned out it was coming from her ass/pussy, two feet away!! Once she started dancing on me I immediately stopped breathing and my body started panicking from the stench. It smelled like she had a gushing 6 foot septic tank in her vag and yeast infection. The smell stayed on me after she left. Don't understand how people can not notice that about themselves.

bigdog83
01-26-2012, 02:34 AM
The dancer with bad breath. That was the worst one.

LOL. Im still new but I think my worst dances came from a girl at CHlll in vegas. She was so cute and sexy. She was really intelligent and had awesome conversation skills but every time she put her arms up over me/on me she had a hint of BO. I wanted to tell her, I dont know why I didnt. She had mentioned she was there all night and likely going home after me. I still managed to spend 200$ on her.

socialreject
04-25-2012, 03:22 PM
If I find a dancer has bad breath, I will angle my head downward toward her legs (or feet) whenever her mouth is directly facing me :)
Then, after one dance, I will probably find another dancer.

safado
04-25-2012, 03:50 PM
If I find a dancer has bad breath, I will angle my head downward toward her legs (or feet) whenever her mouth is directly facing me :) Then, after one dance, I will probably find another dancer. A dancer with a smelly ass or pussy is much worse than one with bad breath.

socialreject
04-25-2012, 03:56 PM
A dancer with a smelly ass or pussy is much worse than one with bad breath.

Ouch...I have yet to have that experience, and hopefully it will stay that way...

safado
04-25-2012, 04:02 PM
Ouch...I have yet to have that experience, and hopefully it will stay that way... It is only a matter of time.

Asian Sensation
04-28-2012, 08:50 AM
One of my faves had some mouse tail action going on. I still got dances from her my next visit.
I wonder if I should have told her so she didn't have that for her other customers that night.

walleeto
09-16-2012, 11:26 PM
I never have a regular girl, I like something new. This leads to some bad dances. Smell, drunk / high, girls that want to do a quick hj when I want a LD to check out more than the top of their head and forearm..... But a few that stand out:

Bought a 2 for $30 special. She was coherent. Goes to dressing room leaving me in PD area. Comes back, takes top off, mumbles, passes out facing me. Try to wake her up. Nothing. Tinkles a little on my thigh. Finaly wakes up a little, rolls on couch next to me. I get waitress she gets bouncer, they call 911, saying she took something and was drinking. Gave me money back ($30 plus $10 room fee), free admission card without me asking.

Had another bad dance from a super hot chick. She gets undressed starts, then stops asking me, "are you good with kids?" I half answer I don't have any but nieces love to spend time with me. She is just sitting on top of me going on and on about her kids and every little detail. How do you tell a smoking hot chick you don't care about her kids? So then the kids thing is running out of steam. She asks me do you live near Spring Hill? Luckily, I don't, but she starts telling me about her neighborhood, the kids' pre-k, bunch of other stuff. She finished the second song telling me how great I was because I didn't ask her for sex like every other guy, and droning on about the girls who do extras... I cut my losses and stopped there after 2 dances. I was ready to do 6 or more she was that hot....

Had one worse than the pee one because of the time involved and creepiness. Go to fave club. New girl there, comes over and sits down. I tell her I just walked in it will be a bit before I look for dances. She says she made her money, she just wants to talk... Talks non stop 6-8 songs distracting me from the stage show. I excuse myself, saying I had to use the men's room. Come out after pretending to pee who is standing there waiting? Same girl. Only she says "let's sit back here where it is quieter" near the back wall of the club. She talks at me for an hour and a half, I get life story, real name, she was dancing in WPB, left a-hole, came to Tampa.... After a while I just wanted out, so I tell her I need a dance and then I need to go home, work in the morning. So I pay for the room, we go back. She sits next to me on the couch, and starts in with why didn't I meet you before I met him? You are such a good listener and you get me..... Then starts crying. So she is cuddled next to me softly crying for what feels like days, probably close to 20 mins, she stops crying and I am like "I lost count of the songs..." Even though she never got undressed I was thinking pay her any amount of money and leave. She says "Oh I am not taking your money, can we sit longer?" I tell her I have over an hour drive home and work at 9 am so I need sleep. She then says "I can get out of work at 2am can you come back and pick me up and we can talk?" I tell her no, work, sleep needed' another time. She tells me to wait for a minute before I leave. Goes in back, comes out with a dollar bill, hands it to me, has her name and number, "promise you will call me tomorrow...." Never called, did not go to fave club for almost a year...

buckiemohawk
09-17-2012, 08:54 PM
I thought about just walking out, but decided the view I had going for me would be much nicer than that of the airport. ;D
I would have walked out and complained. Not only is that upmost rude. It's very unprofessional.

britchick85
09-18-2012, 05:49 PM
I didnt receive it(thank god!!!) but I once did a double dance with two guys and another girl and some how she managed to grind so hard on him that she actually ripped his cock open.It was really bad there was blood on the floor and he had to go to the hosepital.The worst thing was the club gave them a refund so I never got paid even though it was not my fault!!!!

rickdugan
09-18-2012, 06:40 PM
Now I probably don't participate in LDs as often as some other members on here and I really don't have any heavy duty horror stories, but I can think of a couple of LD experiences that were just odd and rather pointless. In both cases, it involved girls alternating between my lap and performing gyrations and/or rolling around on the floor, like the LD was supposed to be some kind of performance art. Both of these odd LD experiences occurred in two different clubs in Wisconsin, so maybe this is some regional quirk. In any event, there was nothing remotely sexy about these antics and I didn't go past two dances with either of them.

Eye
09-18-2012, 06:59 PM
since this thread was bumped up, I just gotta share my FIRST and LAST time at a strip club. My husband and I went with another couple to a club in East St Louis. Some of you may be familiar with the area. Anyway, I'd never had a lap dance and my g/f and I decided to go down to the male stripper stage. there was this gorgeous HUGE black man on stage dancing. And me trying to be all cool, had my ones ready, waiting for my turn. Finally, he comes over to me, and has his cock all up in my face grinding, he's wearing a g-string. All of a sudden, now no joke, this was like in SLOW MOTION, his dick comes flying through the air(still in the g-string) and the tip pops me RIGHT IN THE EYE!!! Ow! Really? So, still trying to be cool, I sit there FREAKING out because I just knew my contact popped out. I sat there for a few more minutes trying to look like i was enjoying, all the time thinking now I've got a black eye! He moved on and I ran back to our table! My husband and friends saw the whole thing and were laughing hysterically. Thank god I didn't lose my contact!! ;)

Sparkles*
09-19-2012, 09:15 PM
Now I probably don't participate in LDs as often as some other members on here and I really don't have any heavy duty horror stories, but I can think of a couple of LD experiences that were just odd and rather pointless. In both cases, it involved girls alternating between my lap and performing gyrations and/or rolling around on the floor, like the LD was supposed to be some kind of performance art. Both of these odd LD experiences occurred in two different clubs in Wisconsin, so maybe this is some regional quirk. In any event, there was nothing remotely sexy about these antics and I didn't go past two dances with either of them.

Please tell me which clubs you were in. I am in Wisconsin and would love to hear where you were.

LuckyOne
09-19-2012, 11:16 PM
I can't help but laugh at these. I can picture all of them!!! Probably one of the worst that I ever gave, I was drinking and it was a busy night, and I remember the guy was a bachelor cuz his friends bought a bunch of dances for him. I was spread eagle in front of him, they were nude dances and he said... is that toilet paper stuck to your crotch?

HSVAKR
09-20-2012, 12:59 AM
being puked on ewww

rickdugan
09-20-2012, 07:01 AM
Please tell me which clubs you were in. I am in Wisconsin and would love to hear where you were.

Vegas Gentlemens Club in Darien (out near Lake Geneva) and Crazy Horse Too, which is now apparently called Rhino, in West Allis (next to Milwaukee).

In all fairness to Rhino, I've had some good experiences there as well, but this one particular gal seemed to have her own ideas as to what a good dance was.

With respect to Vegas Gentlemens Club, it was a VIP session. The girl that I went back with had spent a LOT of time with me before I took her back and it only cost me $100 for a half hour VIP room, so I didn't feel too bad about the whole thing overall. I did cut the VIP short though as I just found her to be very boring back there - she was actually more entertaining at the bar.

Flickdreams
09-20-2012, 07:46 AM
^ what do you mean by gyrations?

rickdugan
09-20-2012, 10:39 AM
^Arching their backs, little spin moves, popping up and down, and the girl at Vegas even did a backwards roll at one point. These memories are two years old, so some of the particulars are a little hazy, but that is the gist of what was happening in both situations.

richdummy
09-20-2012, 12:33 PM
I got a lapdance the other day where the dancer was giggling and dancing around and fist pumping. I asked her what she was doing and she said fist bumping. Not a good dancer. It was an air dance. Miami is not a good market for air dancers honestly so the problem will sort itself out.

occurious
10-20-2012, 10:39 AM
Ok so this is more along the lines of the most uncomfortable dance. Last month I was at a club that is known for ultra high mileage and extras. The $10 laps are out in the open but two way contact is the norm. There were a lot of girls working and not many customers so I was getting hit up for dances constantly which actually was fine with me because I didn't want any extras I just wanted to get some cheap dances so I decided to try a lot of different girls. Finally after getting a bunch of different dances this strikingly beautiful young (maybe 20) African American girl comes over and sits with me, in this club the drink hustle is brutal and all night I had been telling the waitress no but this time I relented. So we sit there for a few minutes talking before she asks if I want a dance. Now one thing about this club, since everyone knows whats going on most of the dancers roam around in pretty much sexy bras and g-strings, no cover-ups or anything the more skin showing the better. This girl was wearing a top that looked more designed for a night at a dance club so I thought it was odd but refreshing.

I said yes of course to the dance and away we go to the LD area, she starts a very sensual grind and my hands start to roam to her legs and butt, then as she turns around one of my hands ends up on her stomach and I realize why she's wearing the top she is. She's pregnant! I don't mean just showing I mean very pregnant but shes obviously in good shape so with loose top while she's walking around it wasn't noticeable at all. I've never had this happen to me, she continued the dance, made it very clear that extras were available and everything I would expect at this club.

The dance itself was fantastic and I would have gotten a second but I couldn't get her being pregnant out of my mind, it wasn't that it felt so wrong to me I just felt sad knowing that she had to really need the money if she was still working. I also didn't want to be rude to her and just flee, thankfully I had told her when she sat down that I needed to leave soon so I told her I had to go, gave her a good tip and left. I'm also glad I picked her to buy the only drink of the night.